Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Silver Lining ❯ Broken Soul ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3 :: A Broken Soul

 

Disclaimer: Hmm….let's see…nope. Still does not own Naruto, or any of the characters. *sigh*

 

Hinata, on the other hand, had not even the faintest thought that there might be someone using the training grounds. Subconsciously, she probably felt that she wouldn't encounter anyone in her sorrow-stricken world currently. Normally when facing an emotional crisis, Hinata could barely run and hide to her room, so she had restricted herself to fleeing to the training grounds and raging as well as punching. Her tear-filled eyes never saw anything other than her own stump which she had grown found of over the years, and anyone else there had the sense to leave her alone.

 

Hinata currently could barely manage to grasp onto any sane thoughts, and clung desperately onto the few that she could. The meaning of what happened to her hit her again and again without mercy, and her heart ached each time just as painfully as before. It's finally happened…I should have expected this sooner…why am I such a fool?

 

Tears continually pooled in her eyes and slid down in alarming rates. She held onto the tree trunk as if it were an anchor to this world, crying her heart out until her wails subsided into broken sobs. That was when she sat straighter and resolved to lay out everything that could have lead up to this event, punctuating her own faults. She trembled with each thought, yet forced herself to think clearly about it. The worst thing has happened to her, so what was the use of hiding from the thoughts she was most afraid of?

 

"I've always been weak…the weakest," She started out with the plainest statement, and found that there was a lot to elaborate on. So much that she had pushed away, denied, and hoped to change. So much that hasn't really changed at all. "The disgrace of the family, always giving up, always so uncharacteristically unlike the other Hyuugas."

 

"Hanabi's even better than me. Neji, a branch member, would be a much better choice for head."

 

"It would bring even more shame to the family if someone was announced head instead of the rightful heir."

 

"Even though I strove to stop my bad habits, to become a better person, I never succeeded."

 

"Even though I so bodly declared I would change, I was unable to back it up."

 

"Everything that has happened to me was what I deserved. It's all my fault."

 

With each realization, Hinata felt a bit of her heart shattering and the sobs returned harder than ever. Why was she like this? Someone like her didn't deserve to live. But no, that thought even frightened her.

 

"Even when all my hopes have been shattered, I still am too much of a coward to end my own life?" Hinata said softly to herself, the bitterness in her voice resonated through the air, bringing a new disgust in Hinata's already torn heart. "Shameless, that's what I am…I have no purpose in life…"

That last thought shocked her. She hadn't even thought about it when it left her lips. Looking around the training grounds, she inspected everything in a new light. The targets that decorated every tree, the unyielding trunks that's dents stood for every blow they took, the scrapes and slashes of numerous kunai and shuriken…

 

They were dreamers, every one of them that had ever practiced in this training ground. Each of them worked hard to fight better, aim better, and become a better ninja. Each of them had something to live for, die for, and dreamed to achieve. And Hinata had been one of them, telling herself that with every throw she made and every blow she struck that she'd get better. And for what? To show the world that she wasn't the little weakling everyone thought she was, to have someone smile their approval at her. To be accepted, family and friends alike. Now what did she have? Nothing. That dream had proved unattainable, a mere illusion she created so that her life meant something. So she could continue on to tomorrow.

 

Now everything was over - there was nothing to expect in her lifetime any longer. Her heart surely must be damaged beyond repair, and the love she held there had already started slipping away from the cracks. That was the moment when she looked up at the brilliant sky that stretched out before her, pondering about a thing as foolish as silver linings, some saying that a teacher probably told her long ago. That teacher hadn't realized Hinata had to go through all this in her future, and that for someone like Hinata, there were no silver linings.