Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Skin Deep ❯ Oiroke no Jutsu ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: The Slashy Monster 
Sasuke deals with a whiny Naruto. Brat.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 05.07.2005 | Updated On: 05.26.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 736 | Status: Completed
Sasuke deals with a whiny Naruto. Brat.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 05.07.2005 | Updated On: 05.26.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 736 | Status: Completed
Author's Notes: Thanks for the great response! I haven't gotten this many reviews since an update on TDG… Nearly a year ago… (blushes horribly) And no, I'm using the Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy no Jutsu) from Naruto. I think shinobi would be able to tell if Naruto was wearing a wig or not. (face-plants)
Skin Deep
Alternate Universe
Chapter Two
Oiroke no Jutsu
Skin Deep
Alternate Universe
Chapter Two
Oiroke no Jutsu
[Edit: April 19, 2005]
It was just like any other day Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, but as any true citizen knew, the peace and tranquility that hung in the air was really only the calm before the storm. Yet already it was noon and nothing had happened. Some of the civilians were getting rather twitchy and nervous, jumping at every little thing, waiting for an explosion or uproar of some kind so that they could just get on with their day. A prank from Konohamaru or Naruto, as rare as those had become, would have been welcomed with open arms.
Whether it be fortunate or not, the genin Kohonamaru was away on a Class C mission and Naruto… well, he really, really wanted to give the Uchiha standing across from him a new breathing hole.
“How long can you keep your form like that?” Sasuke asked a rather pissed off Naruto. The blonde was standing in front of the Uchiha, arms crossed over his female form's breasts, his foot tapping impatiently on the floor. He didn't know what irked him more -the fact that Sasuke doubted his ability to hold an illusion that he had invented, thank you very much, or the fact that he was completely unaffected by Naruto's lack of clothing.
“As long as you need me to.” Naruto managed to grit out, his female form's sharp nails digging into the soft flesh of his arms. The pain distracted him from doing something that he might or might not regret.
“Good.” Sasuke said, emotionless, and looked at Naruto's form so intensely that even the irritated, shameless blonde felt a twinge of embarrassment. He slid gracefully off the table he had been sitting on, and poked a finger into Naruto's arm, and then thigh. Naruto entertained the bloody notion of snapping the finger off and shoving it up the taller boy's nose. “And you can change this illusion at will right?”
“Yes.” He snapped. That twitch in his eye was coming back with renewed vigor. “Could you please not do that?”
“You need to darken your skin.” Sasuke continued, giving no sign at all that he had heard Naruto. It was oddly distracting to have someone poke you while you were trying to be serious and diplomatic. Couldn't the bastard see how incredibly hard it was not to maim him and laugh at his pain? “The color of your skin would be pretty if you had dark hair, but with blonde hair you look washed out. Your breasts are too big-”
Naruto, who never would have thought it possible for that to come out of any male's mouth, snarled, “And you have a problem with big boobs?!”
“-and you have a mole on your left shoulder blade.” The Uchiha continued as though he hadn't of been interrupted. The twitching the blonde's eye was doing definitely needed to be looked at by a professional.
Finally, Sasuke wrapped his hand around Naruto's bicep, and squeezed gently. The frown on his face deepened for a moment. “You should also have denser muscle mass. You're a chuunin for gods' sake, even if you are female.”
With a small, almost indistinctive pop that announced the releasing of the Oiroke no Jutsu, Naruto morphed back into his natural, male self, clothes and all. “Is there anything else, darling?” He sneered sarcastically, flipping his hands out in a gesture that he had often seen irritated wives give their husbands. He was really trying his hardest not to spontaneously combust and later on have to explain to Tsunade exactly why one of her star shinobi was temporarily out of commission because his tongue had literally been ripped out. It really was the only thing holding him back. Really.
“Just two.” Sasuke said, and he smirked in that way that said he was purposely trying to get on Naruto's nerves. After years of practice, he believed he was doing a damned fine job of it. “Can you change your eye color and hide the scars on your cheeks? Or do they show through?”
“They show.” Naruto snapped, self-consciously reaching up to scrub at the whiskers on his face. The scars had more often then not been the blunt of a cruel joke. “I can change everything else, but those stay no matter what. My hair color and eye color stay the same as well. There are restrictions to everything, apparently.”
Sasuke nodded simply, familiar with the art of shape shifting and illusions. “I suppose not. We'll just have to go buy you color contacts and get cover-up to hide the scars.”
“Make-up?” Naruto suddenly panicked, his blue eyes widening. “Contacts fine, dresses, okay, but make-up? You're not going to get that stuff on me for as long as I live!”
“Naruto, stop being so difficult. Nobody but me knows it's you and if I tell anyone, that would mean I'd also have to explain why you were dressed up in the first place. A little eyeliner and cover-up won't kill you.” Sasuke pointed out in his deadpan way, much like an adult scolding a toddler. “Besides, it can't be worse than wearing a dress, can it? Stop whining.”
“You're not the one who's being forced into a dress! Of course you can tell me to stop, but then again, you don't have to parade around in drag!” Naruto shrilled, tugging at his hair in an attempt to keep his hands occupied so they wouldn't tear out Sasuke's vocal chords. All of the times that he remembered Sakura complaining about make-up and how it gave some people rashes flooded back to him. His eyes, which were already impossibly huge, widened even more in horror.
“Naruto, shut up!” Sasuke half-yelled, slamming his fist onto the table with just enough force not to crack it. It groaned and strained underneath the power of Sasuke's blow. “You agreed to helping me, even if I did bribe you, but now you're whining like a woman! Maybe I would let you off the dress if you just stopped crying like a little girl.”
“I'm not.” Naruto hissed, but knew it was true. High spots of color appeared on his cheeks. He knew he was pouting, but he couldn't help it. Sasuke and him always fought like this, but if they were to pass as an engaged couple, he would have to swallow his tongue and cut down his sarcasm.
It was just like any other day Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, but as any true citizen knew, the peace and tranquility that hung in the air was really only the calm before the storm. Yet already it was noon and nothing had happened. Some of the civilians were getting rather twitchy and nervous, jumping at every little thing, waiting for an explosion or uproar of some kind so that they could just get on with their day. A prank from Konohamaru or Naruto, as rare as those had become, would have been welcomed with open arms.
Whether it be fortunate or not, the genin Kohonamaru was away on a Class C mission and Naruto… well, he really, really wanted to give the Uchiha standing across from him a new breathing hole.
“How long can you keep your form like that?” Sasuke asked a rather pissed off Naruto. The blonde was standing in front of the Uchiha, arms crossed over his female form's breasts, his foot tapping impatiently on the floor. He didn't know what irked him more -the fact that Sasuke doubted his ability to hold an illusion that he had invented, thank you very much, or the fact that he was completely unaffected by Naruto's lack of clothing.
“As long as you need me to.” Naruto managed to grit out, his female form's sharp nails digging into the soft flesh of his arms. The pain distracted him from doing something that he might or might not regret.
“Good.” Sasuke said, emotionless, and looked at Naruto's form so intensely that even the irritated, shameless blonde felt a twinge of embarrassment. He slid gracefully off the table he had been sitting on, and poked a finger into Naruto's arm, and then thigh. Naruto entertained the bloody notion of snapping the finger off and shoving it up the taller boy's nose. “And you can change this illusion at will right?”
“Yes.” He snapped. That twitch in his eye was coming back with renewed vigor. “Could you please not do that?”
“You need to darken your skin.” Sasuke continued, giving no sign at all that he had heard Naruto. It was oddly distracting to have someone poke you while you were trying to be serious and diplomatic. Couldn't the bastard see how incredibly hard it was not to maim him and laugh at his pain? “The color of your skin would be pretty if you had dark hair, but with blonde hair you look washed out. Your breasts are too big-”
Naruto, who never would have thought it possible for that to come out of any male's mouth, snarled, “And you have a problem with big boobs?!”
“-and you have a mole on your left shoulder blade.” The Uchiha continued as though he hadn't of been interrupted. The twitching the blonde's eye was doing definitely needed to be looked at by a professional.
Finally, Sasuke wrapped his hand around Naruto's bicep, and squeezed gently. The frown on his face deepened for a moment. “You should also have denser muscle mass. You're a chuunin for gods' sake, even if you are female.”
With a small, almost indistinctive pop that announced the releasing of the Oiroke no Jutsu, Naruto morphed back into his natural, male self, clothes and all. “Is there anything else, darling?” He sneered sarcastically, flipping his hands out in a gesture that he had often seen irritated wives give their husbands. He was really trying his hardest not to spontaneously combust and later on have to explain to Tsunade exactly why one of her star shinobi was temporarily out of commission because his tongue had literally been ripped out. It really was the only thing holding him back. Really.
“Just two.” Sasuke said, and he smirked in that way that said he was purposely trying to get on Naruto's nerves. After years of practice, he believed he was doing a damned fine job of it. “Can you change your eye color and hide the scars on your cheeks? Or do they show through?”
“They show.” Naruto snapped, self-consciously reaching up to scrub at the whiskers on his face. The scars had more often then not been the blunt of a cruel joke. “I can change everything else, but those stay no matter what. My hair color and eye color stay the same as well. There are restrictions to everything, apparently.”
Sasuke nodded simply, familiar with the art of shape shifting and illusions. “I suppose not. We'll just have to go buy you color contacts and get cover-up to hide the scars.”
“Make-up?” Naruto suddenly panicked, his blue eyes widening. “Contacts fine, dresses, okay, but make-up? You're not going to get that stuff on me for as long as I live!”
“Naruto, stop being so difficult. Nobody but me knows it's you and if I tell anyone, that would mean I'd also have to explain why you were dressed up in the first place. A little eyeliner and cover-up won't kill you.” Sasuke pointed out in his deadpan way, much like an adult scolding a toddler. “Besides, it can't be worse than wearing a dress, can it? Stop whining.”
“You're not the one who's being forced into a dress! Of course you can tell me to stop, but then again, you don't have to parade around in drag!” Naruto shrilled, tugging at his hair in an attempt to keep his hands occupied so they wouldn't tear out Sasuke's vocal chords. All of the times that he remembered Sakura complaining about make-up and how it gave some people rashes flooded back to him. His eyes, which were already impossibly huge, widened even more in horror.
“Naruto, shut up!” Sasuke half-yelled, slamming his fist onto the table with just enough force not to crack it. It groaned and strained underneath the power of Sasuke's blow. “You agreed to helping me, even if I did bribe you, but now you're whining like a woman! Maybe I would let you off the dress if you just stopped crying like a little girl.”
“I'm not.” Naruto hissed, but knew it was true. High spots of color appeared on his cheeks. He knew he was pouting, but he couldn't help it. Sasuke and him always fought like this, but if they were to pass as an engaged couple, he would have to swallow his tongue and cut down his sarcasm.
The blonde bit down on his tongue. He knew what dressing up in drag meant -it entailed being someone different, someone kinder, softer, and more gentle. It meant no swearing at the smallest of things, and no riling Sasuke up in that way that only he seemed to manage. And yes, he even knew that it meant make-up and dresses, as horrible as those things were. Though he had been practically dragged down into this whole mess with the promise of Ramen and secrecy, it wasn't as though he had no idea as to what was going on.
At Naruto's silence, Sasuke sighed. He sat back down on the table and proceeded to rub his temples in small, soothing circles, willing his sudden temper to settle. “It's not like I'm really trying to piss you off Naruto.” Sasuke said, all quiet and soft again. “I'm just stressed out. I need your help and I appreciate it, but I need you to be a bit more tolerant. I'll even give you a down payment. We'll go to Ichiraku as soon as we get your dress, the contacts, and the cover-up. Okay?”
Seemingly soothed by Sasuke's words, Naruto smiled in his trademark, vibrant way and nodded. Some may have considered their relationship strange, but to them it was routine. They were always either at each other's throats or acting like brothers. “Okay Sasuke!” Naruto quipped, and quickly formed the hand seals he needed. After a few seconds and a puff of smoke, the female Naruto appeared, her skin darker, the mole on the left shoulder gone, the muscles on her body packed and finely defined. Sasuke smiled.
“That's good. Now take out the ponytails and comb your hair while I grab something for you to wear.” He moved over to the closet. Naruto winced. All he really owned was his old orange jumper which was more for sentimental value now that it was far too small, and a couple of uniforms. Normally he just wore his flak jacket and called it a day.
Naruto started pulling his hair free from the bands that held them high on top of his head. It was strange, to have such long hair, and the weight on his scalp was enough to make the skin tingle. He didn't own a brush since his hair was wild no matter what he tried, so he improvised and started to run his long fingers through his hair in order to get the knots out. They immediately hooked on a huge snag, and being a boy unaccustomed to the delicate process of brushing his hair, he ripped through it. Tears quickly sprang to the corners of his eyes.
“I don't suppose you have a bra on you, do you?” Sasuke asked rhetorically, looking over at Naruto combing his hair with his fingers. The blonde just glared at him but it was rather a lost cause since he was standing nude in the middle of his apartment with tears in his eyes and his fingers in his long hair. “Or a brush. Or underwear. Or anything else that my fiancée would need to be seen as acceptable in public.”
“It's not like I actually run around in my female form. It was just a trick to distract teachers and other adults when I got into trouble.” Naruto childishly stuck out his tongue at Sasuke, who just rolled his eyes.
“Hold on. I'll be back in a few minutes.” And without another word, he was gone in a whirl of hand seals and the customary puff of gray smoke. Naruto seized the moment to flop down on his bed and grab the nearest pillow to scream in it, letting out all the frustration that he suddenly became very aware of. He even kicked his mattress, succeeding only in stubbing his toe. A handful of curses spewed forth from his mouth, the very dirty and masculine swear words not anything one would expect from such a tiny, beautiful female.
True to his word, Sasuke was back in a few minutes, his arms filled with clothes. Most of which were either pink or baby blue. (Naruto's eyebrows shot up in temporary horror, but his eye didn't twitch.) The dark-haired chuunin tossed Naruto a white, lacy bra, and a matching pair of underwear. Then on the table he laid out three pairs of clothing.
At Naruto's silence, Sasuke sighed. He sat back down on the table and proceeded to rub his temples in small, soothing circles, willing his sudden temper to settle. “It's not like I'm really trying to piss you off Naruto.” Sasuke said, all quiet and soft again. “I'm just stressed out. I need your help and I appreciate it, but I need you to be a bit more tolerant. I'll even give you a down payment. We'll go to Ichiraku as soon as we get your dress, the contacts, and the cover-up. Okay?”
Seemingly soothed by Sasuke's words, Naruto smiled in his trademark, vibrant way and nodded. Some may have considered their relationship strange, but to them it was routine. They were always either at each other's throats or acting like brothers. “Okay Sasuke!” Naruto quipped, and quickly formed the hand seals he needed. After a few seconds and a puff of smoke, the female Naruto appeared, her skin darker, the mole on the left shoulder gone, the muscles on her body packed and finely defined. Sasuke smiled.
“That's good. Now take out the ponytails and comb your hair while I grab something for you to wear.” He moved over to the closet. Naruto winced. All he really owned was his old orange jumper which was more for sentimental value now that it was far too small, and a couple of uniforms. Normally he just wore his flak jacket and called it a day.
Naruto started pulling his hair free from the bands that held them high on top of his head. It was strange, to have such long hair, and the weight on his scalp was enough to make the skin tingle. He didn't own a brush since his hair was wild no matter what he tried, so he improvised and started to run his long fingers through his hair in order to get the knots out. They immediately hooked on a huge snag, and being a boy unaccustomed to the delicate process of brushing his hair, he ripped through it. Tears quickly sprang to the corners of his eyes.
“I don't suppose you have a bra on you, do you?” Sasuke asked rhetorically, looking over at Naruto combing his hair with his fingers. The blonde just glared at him but it was rather a lost cause since he was standing nude in the middle of his apartment with tears in his eyes and his fingers in his long hair. “Or a brush. Or underwear. Or anything else that my fiancée would need to be seen as acceptable in public.”
“It's not like I actually run around in my female form. It was just a trick to distract teachers and other adults when I got into trouble.” Naruto childishly stuck out his tongue at Sasuke, who just rolled his eyes.
“Hold on. I'll be back in a few minutes.” And without another word, he was gone in a whirl of hand seals and the customary puff of gray smoke. Naruto seized the moment to flop down on his bed and grab the nearest pillow to scream in it, letting out all the frustration that he suddenly became very aware of. He even kicked his mattress, succeeding only in stubbing his toe. A handful of curses spewed forth from his mouth, the very dirty and masculine swear words not anything one would expect from such a tiny, beautiful female.
True to his word, Sasuke was back in a few minutes, his arms filled with clothes. Most of which were either pink or baby blue. (Naruto's eyebrows shot up in temporary horror, but his eye didn't twitch.) The dark-haired chuunin tossed Naruto a white, lacy bra, and a matching pair of underwear. Then on the table he laid out three pairs of clothing.
“Where did you get these?” Naruto asked, pulling on the underwear and marveling at the bra. He slipped it onto his arms and tried clasping it, but was failing miserably. How girls did this everyday was a mystery to him.
“Sakura's closet.” Sasuke replied simply, implying that he had taken them without permission. Naruto choked down a retort about him being a closet pervert like Ebisu-sensei. “The underwear and bra are new though. I just bought them at store down the road.” At this Naruto stifled a laugh as he pictured Sasuke purchasing a bra and underwear set and scaring all the others in the store. He had probably threatened the owner's life at kunai point, telling him if he ever spoke about what Sasuke was buying, he would personally rip out his bowels. (It seemed like a very un-Sasuke like thing to do, but the notion was still entertained. A death glare was thrown in for good measure.)
Finally, after a few minute's struggle an amused glance from Sasuke, Naruto managed to hook the bra clasps. The clothes on the table weren't so bad he supposed, especially since they had come from Sakura's closet. He pulled on the blue turtleneck, steering clear of the pink sweater with the hearts on them no matter how cute it looked, and then pulled on the pair of white jeans Sasuke handed to him. The dark-haired boy had even thought to bring a pair of socks and clean, white tennis shoes, which were a little bit too big when Naruto put them on.
Next he brushed his hair quickly, wincing when the comb caught on the tangles, and then tied the waist length hair up into a high ponytail. He was about to grab his flak jacket but then stopped, looking almost helplessly up at Sasuke. “Now where the hell are the weapons supposed to go?”
“Sakura's closet.” Sasuke replied simply, implying that he had taken them without permission. Naruto choked down a retort about him being a closet pervert like Ebisu-sensei. “The underwear and bra are new though. I just bought them at store down the road.” At this Naruto stifled a laugh as he pictured Sasuke purchasing a bra and underwear set and scaring all the others in the store. He had probably threatened the owner's life at kunai point, telling him if he ever spoke about what Sasuke was buying, he would personally rip out his bowels. (It seemed like a very un-Sasuke like thing to do, but the notion was still entertained. A death glare was thrown in for good measure.)
Finally, after a few minute's struggle an amused glance from Sasuke, Naruto managed to hook the bra clasps. The clothes on the table weren't so bad he supposed, especially since they had come from Sakura's closet. He pulled on the blue turtleneck, steering clear of the pink sweater with the hearts on them no matter how cute it looked, and then pulled on the pair of white jeans Sasuke handed to him. The dark-haired boy had even thought to bring a pair of socks and clean, white tennis shoes, which were a little bit too big when Naruto put them on.
Next he brushed his hair quickly, wincing when the comb caught on the tangles, and then tied the waist length hair up into a high ponytail. He was about to grab his flak jacket but then stopped, looking almost helplessly up at Sasuke. “Now where the hell are the weapons supposed to go?”
“You're hopeless.” Sasuke said, even if he hadn't really thought of that detail before. He thought quickly before grabbing Naruto's flak jacket from the back of the chair, and pulled out a few scrolls and the gauze. In a whirl of more hand seals, a strip of the gauze became a small pouch that Sasuke attached to two of Naruto's belt loops. Next he tossed the slightly blushing blond his shuriken holster. It needed to be loosened on the female's thigh -curves were a bitch- but it was a comfortable weight when he was done fiddling with it.
Naruto was reaching for his fingerless, protective gloves when Sasuke pushed his hand away. “No, that's overkill. Kunoichi don't wear many regulatory clothing. We just need to put an illusion on your hitai-ate so that it bears the Hidden Wave mark, disguise your scars, and go buy your contacts and dress.” Naruto made a face, but cast a jutsu over his hitai-ate to form a symbol that was becoming fairly common to see. Much like the symbol of Konoha, which was an abstract leaf, Hidden Wave had an obtuse picture of the water.
The blonde was about to slip the hitai-are when movement from Sasuke caused him to stop. A feeling of dread creeped into him, and he knew just what his best friend had in one of those many hidden pockets of his. He heard Sasuke sigh, most likely because of the murderous, yet somehow fearful, look in his blue eyes. Not a very harmonious combination at all.
“I'm not putting that stuff on!” Naruto squeaked, and chucked his hitai-ate ate Sasuke's head. The chuunin caught it easily, but sighed again, something he was prone to do when dealing with the blonde. It was in that moment, when Naruto started to slowly edge towards the door, that Sasuke wondered what exactly possessed him to cook up this whole scheme anyway.
Thanks to all who reviewed: AncientHistory, amakasu toko, strawberries and napkins, Suna no Gaara, insanechildfanfic, blue leafy, Puchu-chan, Nudd, esther, Phoe-chan, eclipse-moon, xxSNOWxxDROPxx, KhaosFlamez, Kyuubi-kun, someone, bhodi li, Sugahlei, cheeseboi, Anime-Boi-Crazy, B.U.G.I.M.S., SaiyanSandBoarder, Kali Swifteye, SleepingDove, Adulia, Kawaii Thief Kitsune, kristina, Kaellia, Song Min Dao, Dark Mimiru-Chan, and turtledonkey27 (your name cracks me up!).
Naruto was reaching for his fingerless, protective gloves when Sasuke pushed his hand away. “No, that's overkill. Kunoichi don't wear many regulatory clothing. We just need to put an illusion on your hitai-ate so that it bears the Hidden Wave mark, disguise your scars, and go buy your contacts and dress.” Naruto made a face, but cast a jutsu over his hitai-ate to form a symbol that was becoming fairly common to see. Much like the symbol of Konoha, which was an abstract leaf, Hidden Wave had an obtuse picture of the water.
The blonde was about to slip the hitai-are when movement from Sasuke caused him to stop. A feeling of dread creeped into him, and he knew just what his best friend had in one of those many hidden pockets of his. He heard Sasuke sigh, most likely because of the murderous, yet somehow fearful, look in his blue eyes. Not a very harmonious combination at all.
“I'm not putting that stuff on!” Naruto squeaked, and chucked his hitai-ate ate Sasuke's head. The chuunin caught it easily, but sighed again, something he was prone to do when dealing with the blonde. It was in that moment, when Naruto started to slowly edge towards the door, that Sasuke wondered what exactly possessed him to cook up this whole scheme anyway.
Thanks to all who reviewed: AncientHistory, amakasu toko, strawberries and napkins, Suna no Gaara, insanechildfanfic, blue leafy, Puchu-chan, Nudd, esther, Phoe-chan, eclipse-moon, xxSNOWxxDROPxx, KhaosFlamez, Kyuubi-kun, someone, bhodi li, Sugahlei, cheeseboi, Anime-Boi-Crazy, B.U.G.I.M.S., SaiyanSandBoarder, Kali Swifteye, SleepingDove, Adulia, Kawaii Thief Kitsune, kristina, Kaellia, Song Min Dao, Dark Mimiru-Chan, and turtledonkey27 (your name cracks me up!).