Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Sleeping Awake ❯ Sleeping Awake ( Chapter 1 )

The Cherry blossoms surrounded Sakura in a pinkish white blizzard for just a moment. When her vision cleared she smiled happily. The fields full of blossoming growth she and Ino had long ago learned flower arranging as Kunoichi in training always made her feel happy. Early summer sunshine shone down on the growing things. Warming her clear through, it was still not the heat that would later wither the blooms.

Suddenly she sensed a familiar presence beside her.

"Ohio Kaka Sensei." She greeted as she settled under an ancient oak at the field's edge.

Once she was settled into the best position she turned and asked a serious question.

"I am not really in the early summer fields where Ino and I learned flower arranging am I?"

"No Sakura chan you aren't. How did you know?"

Sakura thought hard about that. There were at least a hundred small discrepancies that made it seem like the illusion she had come to know was not real.

"Lots of things. Little things. To many to count or explain really well. So why did you put me under Kaka Sensei?"

"You went through something harsh and cruel. It was compounded by what happened afterwards. The Hokage wanted me to keep you under at all costs until your mind had enough time to heal and distance itself from what happened."

He was dead. She remebered now. He was dead and what was worse was that she did not know whose child she sheltered under her heart. Was it Sasuke's offspring or Itachi's? Both had raped her, Itachi of his own will and Sasuke under his brother's mind control.

She had been bound and helpless. Sasuke had cried and begged for her forgiveness all the time he was pumping in and out of her torn, devirginized flesh. Itachi had whispered evil things in her ears. Whispered that he would be unable to make his brother do those things if they weren't really what he wanted deep down inside.

"He wanted to take you like that. Harsh and fierce and violent. That was how he wanted it. I guess its Genetic. I want it that way to, pretty little pink Kunoichi."

He had whispered these evil things in her ears. Then Itachi had done wicked things to her flesh that her still tender mind refused to remember.

Finally three days later Kakashi had rescued them. Her teacher had come, along with Ino, Naruto, and surprisingly Hinata. When he released Sasuke the heir of the Uchiha had just sat there in a puddle of blood and vomit and stared at the wall as if he didn't know what was happening around him. The mind control would take a while to fade without help and they needed even a weakened Sasuke to take on Itachi and his minions. So Kakashi had cracked it with his own Sharingan. Sasuke had refused to look at her. Sakura had softly whispered that she forgave him for what he couldn't help. Perhaps that had been the worst thing to say or perhaps not. It had however been the only thing she knew how to say. The only thing that would come out of her mouth and not be a scream.

Outside they had gone and she had been cleansed completely by a water Jutsu performed by Naruto. They had not thought to bring clothing. Yet she had learned that even naked a Ninja is a Ninja. She was so angry that her nakedness soon became a humming background noise. Inner Sakura was released and it was then that anger then became her refuge.

Sakura had screamed long and hard and furiously. Her scream had been a purposeful one though. She had called for the scroll. House Haruno was mostly Ninja and though it had no bloodline limits within it, it was an old house of many secret powers. These powers were what had kept house Haruno afloat in the multi-clan political system of Konoha that held houses with such limits. The scroll was among the strongest. Before that moment Sakura would have agreed with anyone who told her she did not have the power to call this old power forth. Her Chakra, though controlled perfectly, was small compared to the ancient clan founders. Now she knew she had it in her to control the power. Yet still she had needed help.

She had written her name on the list of blood pact bound Haruno. Her great, great grandfather was the last one to actually perform this jutsu. Haruno Matsuki had been strong enough to do the summoning without the extra conditions. She might be some day but right then she needed it. Needed that small amount of help.

Kakashi Sensei and Naruto had not even hesitated. Their Chakra flowed, colored but clear and clean, then wound itself around her own forming the braided strand recommended for this technique. Biting her thumb she drew it along the scroll and the blood was absorbed.

"Haruno Summoning Technique! Haruno Dragon!"

She had called then he had come. The Haruno Dragon that her great, great had summoned so long ago. She had commanded it to eat everything save for Itachi and bring his broken and bloody remains to her to assure herself of his death. The dragon had only hesitated for a moment before obeying her will. In that moment he handed her a scale the size of her palm. It was like a polished steel mirror

She had it around her neck in the real world even now she knew because she could distantly feel her real body.

The dragon had returned with the shredded bits of Itachi she had taken the head and heart from the dragon and given him the rest. The Head she handed to Sasuke then she proceeded to eat the heart in front of Kakashi and Naruto. Only her back being turned to him spared Sasuke this sight.

She explained with Itachi's heart's blood still dribbling down her chin. To keep the power awake the consumption of enemy flesh was required. That was the true strength that she had not had before the tragedy. To eat and digest the flesh of her enemy who was another human being. She had not had enough of the Haruno Dragon in her until Itachi stole her innocence and her humanity from her with his torturous rape.

She turned to face the border of the illusionary field of flowers. Now she was ready to face those memories. She held out her hands and the claws of the dragon the Haruno Talons sprang out of her hands. Within this dream they required no seals though they took over six hundred in the real world to summon. That and only after one had called the dragon could one call his weapons to hand.

Kakashi gave her the nod. He thought she was ready, but he had her back should he need help. Always there, her Kaka Sensei. Inner Sakura became her shadow in the illusionary realm for a moment. Thus attached she communed with herself. They were in agreement. Kakashi had earned a great reward. The one they would some day give him when he recognized that they had completed their growing up. Sakura nodded at her inner and then turned to face the wintry realm beyond this safe place full of flowers.

Something dropped around her neck and she was about to bat at it and try to dislodge it. Then Sakura realized what was dangling there. It was a soft scarf of a charcoal color. The fleece had once been black before years of fading from elemental exposure and hard use. It had a symbol that belonged to Kakashi's own clan embroidered upon its ends in a still dark black thread. The thread itself had held color better or been done more recently and the contrast was blatant. It smelled like Kakashi.

She saw why he had called the image and scent and feel of the scarf to her. Not only did it reaffirm his commitment to helping her, but he had also looked ahead, it would be simply necessary. From early summer they would be crossing into the darkest depths of winter.

That was where the memories were of her attack and molestations by the Uchiha heirs dwelled. Not the faded recollections that she had just gone over in her thoughts. No these were the true memories, the ones that would bring terrors if not defeated and put in their place. So she would fight. Beside her was her fierce and brave teacher. For4 a moment she wished for Naruto to be here too.

Oh well. He was with Hinata at her bedside if she remebered right through all her mental haze. She was sure he would be cheering for her and believing in her. That was his way. That and Hinata would need her teammate more then she did. The strange things that had happened on the mission to recover her and Sasuke had taken their toll on the hopeful and shy girl.

The first memory appeared and assaulted her in the shape of a Village-less Wanderer Nin. As it tried her defenses and suffered from her offensive strikes she had to relive its contents. It was like that with each. Finally she had only a few more memories to face. The rape by Sasuke and Itachi, and also the horrible thing that had made Sasuke dead. What that was her fuzzy recollections had not revealed.

The rape was fairly horrible, but as Kunoichi she had been trained to know this was more of a certainty then a possibility in her career of choice. Those who could not face that had been washed out of the academy early. She took those memories and let them fall away to their proper place. Then came the memory of why Sasuke-kun was dead.

She was in the hospital crying in pain and sorrow, trying valiantly to suck up something of her calm that she had worked on for years since the first time Sasuke had left them. The absolute calm of the dragon left when she had finished the heart of Itachi.

"Be strong Sakura. If you could eat my brother's black heart then this is nothing…"

Sasuke's voice had sounded wretched and worn. It whispered across his lips as if he had torn his throat raw with screams and weeping of his own. The Rape was not as bad as the news that had come to her just before he had entered. She picked her own medical chart up off her lap and handed it to him. He had read the words that declared his fate and he had not been able to take what he had seen.

Later they had found him dead. Sakura had sensed something wrong, and in her funny little socks with treads that you got at the hospital no matter where the hospital was, she had gone down the hall Kaka Sensei in tow to find the Uchiha heir. He had hung himself from a rope secured to the ceiling with several antique Kunai that had belonged to his grandfather and then passed to his elder brother before that brother killed everyone.

"Did I kill him Kaka Sensei? Should I have waited until he evened out everything that happened to us inside of his head?"

Kakashi cut the Memory Nin down with a Kunai made entirely of white mental fire. It fell and started to twitch. It could not receive a deathblow from anyone but her all other fatal wounds even those dealt by Kakashi's impressive skills held no meaning in her mind. They would heal in moments.

"No Sakura. He never would have mended. His brother broke what he cracked all those years ago. Hurting you was something Sasuke was incapable of on his own, no matter what Itachi told you. Only in Itachi's sick and twisted mind would the desire for a little rough sex make the transition into willingness to rape a treasured teammate. Sasuke was broken by Itachi and not even holding his own child would have mended him in the least."

"That reminds me Kakashi sensei has Tsunande discovered whose it is?"

The news would be cheerful for her though saddening also ether way. Kakashi swore under his breath. He was realizing that everything was going to cause his student pain until Sakura had healed and made enough good memories to take away some of the overwhelming pain. He knew this knew this from the scarred over places in his own heart.

"It was Sasuke who got you with child. Sakura I…"

"I remember that you claimed responsibility for us Kaka Sensei. I won't forget your kindness nor will I let the little one go without knowing it. He or she will probably call you daddy anyway. What I don't recall is what my parents said about…"

Kakashi smiled at Sakura and nodded. She understood. This meant her parents had approved or at least not been willing to fight over it. She would talk to them later. For now she was simply glad Kakashi had beat say Rock Lee to the claiming of responsibility.

It was law in Konoha that if a Ninja fathered a child on a Kunoichi or on anyone in the village for that matter and then died before that child reached academy graduation age then anyone who wished could claim responsibility for the mother and babe(s) in question. This was encouraged by a small stipend but it was not so much to make the greedy go after orphaned unborn, just enough to help with the important things. The law also worked for Kunoichi helping a widowed father but that was far the rarer.

"I will also have to have you close to hand anyway since I will be continuing your mental re-stabilizing for some time to come. Even had you not shown up as pregnant I would have asked for custody of you in the meantime for the healing process to be as swift as could be. For now though go back to the fields of flowers and rest your mind. All right?"

"When…"

`When I deem it the right time you'll be allowed some forays into real world consciousness. Not until then so REST!"

That said Kakashi vanished in a swirl of generically leaf shaped leaves. She still had his scarf though the heat made it unpleasant to wear it around her throat. Sakura balled it up in her hands and held it to her nose to inhale the sweet masculinity of the fragrance. It was really nice.

She had liked the way Sasuke and even Naruto smelled. The one whiff of Neiji she had captured one time had sent her brain spinning around and around in glee. She simply liked the scent of a male person. A man's cologne wasn't the entirety of it though. Sakura found that she liked the scent of themselves that was "Underneath the Underneath" to quote her wise cracking sensei, even more then their cologne.

Of all of the scents she had ever caught, from her male friends and relations and fellow Shinobi, Kakashi Sensei had the best one. Woodlands and citrus would have warred with each other in any other person's scent. In Kakashi's scent they were harmonious. Over all of the rest was her Sensei's nice cologne. It was another woody fragrance with some sandalwood and other bits of smells that she couldn't quite place. It complimented the masculine fragrance of him extremely well.

"Yeah so he smells yummy you scent-o-phile. You knew this years and years ago. Tell me why we just decided we were going to sleep with him when we get all better and he recognizes us as grown up? I don't think it's a bad idea mind you, I just want to know why."

Now that Kakashi Sensei was not directly inside her mental meadow Inner Sakura showed herself as a solid form of Sakura. She was just wearing clothing that was all black except for the White Haruno Circle beyond that and an unreadable rune on her forehead she was Sakura all over.

Sakura was prepared to fib and say it was because she thought Kakashi Sensei had earned it. Then she thought better of it? What was the point of lying to yourself inside your own head? Self-deception was folly for a Ninja! Sakura knew better!

"I have always liked him a little. It was just that stupid crush on that broken doll Shinobi. Sasuke was a marionette with his puppet's strings still dangling from where they had been cut. I don't want to let the Uchiha haunt me any more then he will already. He will always be my friend but I will be damned if he takes my heart to the grave with him!"

Sakura realized her voice had been raised to a shout when Kakashi Sensei reappeared beside her. He Landed on Inner Sakura who shrieked and bashed him on the head. The attack left the same kind of lump that Sakura often left on Naruto's thick skulled noggin in the early days.

"Sakura why did you…."

"Dammit busted!"

Inner Sakura started to disappear in a swirl of blackened petals. She failed because Kakashi had a hold of her left wrist.

`Whatever you are you are not a result of this latest trauma. Who or what are you?"

"Good girls are thought to do only certain things. Even when they are made into Shinobi they are still expected to only want what is clean and good and pure. They can't glory in battle, delight in pranks, or enjoy dirty jokes and naughty books. They can't run wild in the woods at their whims. So Sakura, the outer self that everyone has seen since academy days, created a separate place where things considered far in her tomboyish past could still be delighted in without ever giving more then a few hints to everyone outside her pink head. That place became as a separate mind linked to hers

I ate that heart for her Kakashi, So that you know. Remember also that should you hurt her that I am here and for good! Some day we may merge even. That is if she gets over her issues with self worth. Help her do that and never willingly harm her or you will be dealing with me quicker then you can imagine!"

Then the fierce Sakura disappeared.

Kakashi smiled softly at the remaining Sakura.

"I always knew you had a warrior in you somewhere. Had I known Feminine ideals meant for daddies little princesses, and foolish, weak, civilians had restrained that warrior in the least… I swear I would have helped you understand their lack of importance first of all before any other lessons."

Kakashi had disappeared again and left her to her healing.

Weeks had passed and finally she was being allowed her first real world return. Naruto's face was the second thing she saw when Kakashi's swirling Sharingan unlocked its gaze. He was smiling his biggest trademark grin. That grin was usually reserved for Ramen and lately Hinata. Sakura felt privileged that her return made him so happy. He really was her friend.

She spent the day catching up with Hinata and learning about who had sent each and every one of the many flower arrangements in her room.

"Shino and his dad had to each take a side on that one to bring the pot in the door. It is a rare jungle flower from the land of water. They said when you were awake for a little longer then they would bring you another thing to go with it. I don't know what."

That seemed to summon the bug controlling clansmen. Shino gave a ghost of a grin when he saw her eyes alert and gleaming green. They had been dull, she knew, for weeks now.

"Welcome back to the land of the living Haruno. You spent to long playing sleeping beauty. He whispered and then he held out his hand. Sakura opened hers and felt something crawl across her palm. Suppressing a girly urge to scream herself silly, that Inner Sakura found stupid and ridiculous, she looked at what he had given her. It was a ladybug.

She and Shino were close friends as children and they had played together always. She was the only one who liked the bug-infested kid he had been. He had remembered how much she liked the ladybugs that he had brought her as friendship tokens back then. A large one with six perfect spots on her back crawled on her palm.

"Father has helped me to bring you something else besides. These will like your flower a lot and stay as will the aphids and the lady bugs who like them."

Cocoons hung suspended from all of the topmost branches of the flowering plant.

"Butterflies?"

Shino Nodded cheerfully. After hearing Inner Sakura's conversation with Kakashi She realized that his Laughter was the price that Shino had paid to be considered an adult. It was a high one but it was what he had paid, and at the early age all Shinobi crossed over into the later half of their lives.

"Laugh more often Shino. Be cheerful when you should be. Enjoying life won't make anyone take you any less seriously. If you don't believe me ask your Father."

Shino's eyes looked uncertain over the tops of his dark glasses. Then he smiled at her and it was a real one. That smile made Sakura feel a lot better. Still if she was feeling a lot better why did her back and stomach ache so much?

Sakura looked down at her lap and had a sinking feeling. Something was pretty badly wrong. The first trickle of blood against her leg made her yank back her covers and touch her own thigh. When she pulled back her fingers and they were covered in bright red blood she shrieked. Shino took her hand looked at the fingers and told his dad to run for the doctors and Tsunande Sama. Then Sakura blacked out.

When she woke it was in the field of flowers. She cursed softly and figured that something must be very wrong again if Kakashi Sensei had dropped her back into his little `happy world' Sharingan trance. Thinking of him made him appear.

"What happened now? Kakashi Sensei tell me for goodness sake!"

Sakura looked behind her teacher and sighed. Inner Sakura had stepped up behind her Sensei and covered his mouth with her hand.

"Let me break it to her. She'll take it better or at least I think so."

Inner Sakura came and pressed her forehead to Sakura's. Thoughts flowed, memories whispered, and knowledge was conveyed. Sakura's eyes welled up with tears that mingled with those of her Inner self. The baby was gone. Her body had rejected it forcibly.

A hazy memory of Kakashi Sensei sitting at her bedside and telling her only half conscious self of Tsunande's prognosis surfaced. The Miscarriage had been so violent that her likelihood of ever having children at all was very remote. They had been lucky to save Sakura herself, but nothing could be done about the rest. He had been the one elected to tell her. A burden he bore willingly. He thought this was his fault. He felt that by somehow not understanding Itachi's motivations he had failed both her and Sasuke. That he had not protected his comrades.

"No Sensei you always keep us safe. You can let me out of here now. I promise not to go all nucking futs on you."

Sakura let go of her Inner self and went to her teacher. She hugged him gently. He hugged back.

"I am still going to be responsible for you. It was decided that any place with memories of your life back then would be bad for you. So with Tsunande's recommendation I will be moving you into my home as soon as you're released. Tell the truth I think your parents were glad. I don't think they believe that they have the skills to help you. That means they probably don't."

She was awake quickly after that and in the real world also. Tsunande smiled gently at her as soon as Kakashi leaned out of the way.

"Time to go to your new home Sakura. I am guessing Kakashi told you?"

Sakura nodded. She was helped to stand and dress by the skilled Tsunande. Then the Hokage told Kakashi that he could turn around. The last thing that went on her fragile seeming body was the scarf. It was real, which didn't surprise Sakura much. It had been a perfectly constructed thing in the illusionary world Kakashi had opened up inside her mind. It had to be real other wise it too would have had those small discrepancies.

The snow was falling outside in heavy clumpy wet flakes. It was the first snowfall that Konoha had seen in three years. Winters this cold were not common in the land of fire. It suited her mood and her thoughts on her future perfectly. Winter was a time for nature to rest and then renewal would come with the spring. She would rest her four times torn heart then she would show Kakashi what kind of butterfly his caterpillar could be.

Kakashi flashed away in a puff of smoke then reappeared with a blanket in his hands. He helped her to her feet and wound it around her slender body. Then he scooped her up and disappeared again. All her flowering plants, even the one given to her by Shino, were secured in the front room of Kakashi's home. It had been transformed. Ebony wood screens with silk rather then paper or cotton panels shimmered in newness. The scents of cleaners and various new home types of things reached her nose. Her new bed was turned down the coverlet had the Haruno circle big sized on it and was a bold red the hue of blood fresh spilled. The sheets were a soft cream color that went well with the coverlet and had a print of flying Cranes in a more dusky red.

A bear that Naruto had gotten her several birthdays ago was there. That toy seemed to be the only thing of her old life that remained besides her clothes. Her garments hung on a wooden pole to one side of what used to be Kakashi's living room. One other thing seemed familiar. The Team Seven photo in its Heart shaped frame sat on the ebony nightstand to the left side of the bed.

Kakashi took her hospital socks off and tucked her into her bed the soft clothes she was dressed in though warm had not included a bra. Sakura could sleep comfortably in them. That was what he suggested she do then he went to his room down the hall and extinguished the lights.