Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Starful Prelude ❯ Starful Prelude ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, and this piece is completely fictional.

 

Hinata steps up. Tears stream from her cheeks. She lays the white rose softly, shaking with the weight of her emotions. Clouds are drifting in front of the sun.

 

I felt his pain. I don't know how, but I did. It scared me, how someone could actually live, everyday of their life, feeling the weight, dying, over and over again. I think I felt that way when Neji fought me. I was turned against myself. If I felt the way I did then, always, I knew for sure I would break, shatter into pieces in which I would see my reflection.

 

He was strong. He didn't care what anyone said about him. Like a tiger. Because I knew he'd laugh. He'd laugh through the sorrow. He'd laugh through things that I could only get through by crying. He was brave. And I loved him more than anything else in the world.

 

I wonder what it was that made me feel this way. Was it the way he would fight long after his limits were crossed? Was it the way he would smile at me, and cared about me? No, I finally realized. It was everything about him that I loved. I simply loved him.

 

I wanted to change. I was weak. Despite the warnings not to listen to what Neji would tell me, I felt the truth in his words. I was weak. This thought was only reaffirmed when I was behind so many times in our training sessions. But what really scared me was the confidence in his voice when he told me, “You are a failure and always will be.”. Slowly, I started to believe him.

 

Savior. That's what Naruto was to me. He taught me to love myself. He taught me how to believe. But, really, Naruto taught me how to live.

 

So what could I do, then? I thought, no, I knew, I had to help him. The only question was if I could. And if I was strong enough.

 

It was strange, really. I felt like I didn't know myself. How could I just stand here, when my beloved was falling, tears streaming down his face? How could the moon keep on shining, like nothing had happened?

 

I had made up my mind. Even before it was made up, I felt myself walking, running, until I had reached him. He didn't even notice me, so drowned was he in his sorrow. Until that moment, I had never realized the enormity of his ordeal. Just thinking of it made me feel very, very lonely.

 

These thoughts raced through my mind as I felt myself drape my arms over him. “It's okay.” His tranquil eyes floated over me as if from a dream. It was as if he didn't know me. “It's okay- I'm here.” Slowly, he started to accept me. Like a child, he buried his head in my arms. And he began to cry.

 

I only held him closer, amazed that someone like me could be so forward. But anyone, anyone who loved someone as much as I loved him would want to do anything for them. Deciding that what I was doing was the right thing, I let my heart overflow with feelings of anguish, melancholy things that had nothing to do with me. I felt his pain.

 

I don't remember when we stood up, but I remember how amazed I was that he could support himself, even after all the desolation he had gone through. “I'm sorry, Hinata.” Taken aback, I was left speechless. “I'm sorry you had to see me like this.” He smiled sadly.

 

“No, it's okay.” I whispered. He looked up at me, tears resplendent in his eyes. “I think… I think I needed this.” His eyes questioned me. “I wanted to protect something. I wanted to help someone. I wanted something that would not be here had I never been born.” “I think I understand.” He told me. And, then, almost as if the moment called for it, he kissed me.

 

“I was born to be here with you.”

 

 

Sakura moves swiftly, with pride in every step. Gathering the last of her strength, she strokes the lily before laying it beside the rose. The rain and her tears melt into one last cry for forgiveness.

 

Dawn whispered into my ears. Wake up, wake up my dear, morning has come. I blinked the light out of my eyes, and moved, barely awake, towards the window. The sun bled crimson onto the clouds, casting an eerie light over the village. I shivered, a strange and unexplainable feeling of dread flowing over me. I shook it off as I stepped daintily onto the staircase.

 

You know, I had never thought highly of him. He was just so loud, so loud, obnoxious and weak! Not being able to pass the academy test, the failed clone, naps in class only helped my dislike for him grow.

 

And then… that day, when he left the village for a training trip, for 2 whole years, it felt like my heart was being shown the world. It was like I had finally stepped out of a dark cave, and was taught about the sky, the sun, the moon. Naruto had taught me how to live.

 

I never told him this, but… there was a day when I ran after him. It was only a month after he left the village, and I had already broken down. I ran. I ran so hard I thought I would never stop. How was I supposed to know? I was still a child, crying for something I could never have. I ran for the longest time. When I broke down, I knew I had reached my limit. It was over, it was over. I would never reach him.

 

And yet, now, he had stepped into the light of the bleeding sun, spreading his arms wide. “I'm back.” After that, I had no words. I could only step, step, step… and then I ran. I ran harder than I ever had, pushing myself into his arms, crying and sobbing like I had never before. “Naruto… Naruto!!!” I called his name over and over again, tasting the sound, and watching the tangible word float up to meet him. We stayed like that until sunset.

 

He smiled so many times, and every time he did, it was like the sun coming out again. He was an amazing person. We laughed until neither of us could speak, and leaned on each other like true comrades. He taught me the names of the stars, and then we counted them until we were out of breath. He'd look into my eyes, and move slowly until his shoulder touched mine. “You know, Sakura, wouldn't it be nice if we could stay like this forever?”

 

We weren't in love. I wasn't like that. It was like we were childhood friends, holding hands without a second thought. I didn't matter if we were different, because that's what made us so beautiful.

 

I promised myself then that the next time I saw him, I would tell him about myself. We'd spin stories until we glittered like gold, then we'd take real wings and fly right up to the sun. We'd fly there and watch the world with all the insignificant people, so many places that we would want to go. And then I'd relive it over and over, and, every time, I'd hear it just like he said it on that starry, starry night.

 

“Hey, Sakura? I believe in you.”

 

 

Kakashi strolls up casually from the sidelines. He stares into the eyes of the boy in the black picture frame, then turns his expressionless gaze towards the blackened sky. His eyes follow the drops of water until they hit his face. His eyes close.

 

Wonderful. Beautiful. Konoha village was such an amazing place. And we had built it all ourselves, too. Through everyone's hard work, we finally managed to create a safe haven, a place of belonging. I wondered how it all started. The First Hokage. The Second. Our dear Third, the legendary Fourth. Tsunade, and then…

 

I never really believed him. I knew it sounded cruel, but I had just never felt that way. He was determined, sure, but that wasn't enough to be Hokage. You had to be born strong. No amount of determination, beliefs or even training could place you there. You were chosen the moment you were born. And that was that.

 

But that boy, Naruto… despite my doubts I had something, a little inkling inside of me that kept my eyes on him. He never seemed special, either. On the weak side, loud, difficult. He was like a rouge animal, snarling at whoever came his way. It could have been the fact that the nine-tailed fox was inside him, but I never thought that had anything to do with the selection. How ironic. The boy who had inside him the monster that longed for the destruction of the village eventually became the ultimate protector to it.

 

How long was it that I was blind to the darkness? How long was I an ignorant fool? Of course the Akatsuki would have wanted him in the early stages. Who would have known that the fox was eventually going to be released? Or… did I know?

 

There are so many questions left unanswered. Most of them are his fault. Naruto. Naruto, the boy who was alone. The one who longed to feel love or even… even pain, because pain was better than nothing. If we tried hard enough, we could believe that he had never left us. We could see him smiling, holding up his hand in a silent salute to his comrades. We would hear the words he spoke on that bright morning, whispering them over and over until they rang out eternally, weaving through the grass and flying up airily. But when we would wake, we will find our faces drenched with tears that would not stop. We would cry and cry, unable to say a word, for the longest time.

 

He smiled at me. “I did it.” He silently mouthed the words in my direction, laughing and waving. At that moment I felt as though my heart could have been healed of all their scars. Sasuke would cross his arms arrogantly, and the two of them would start to fight, throwing words at each other with such skill that I had to laugh.

 

On a fine golden morning, I sat in a treetop above our meeting place, and listened quietly to the sounds of my team arriving. I make a bet with myself who would find me first. Most of the time it was Sasuke or Sakura, but when it was Naruto, I loved watching him beam with pride at his discovery. What kind of anguish or flowing pain held me just then? The answer is none. Absolutely none. That boy… like the water in a river, pure, innocent, beautiful. Every day can't be brought back, but the present is just as amazing. But only if you stay by the river. And then… that one day when the river dries up, it's like you have nothing. Nothing, unrelenting darkness, shaking your conscious self into a deep fear. That, and guilt. The worst guilt imaginable.

 

I never knew it could be like this. Just when everything seemed to be going well, it all came crashing down upon us. What great fortune we had before could not even out the disaster that struck the village. I would have liked to see the look on his face when I told him what happened afterward. It was incredible. He had waited 17 years for love, or even just attention, and the day he received the most, he was not there. Indeed, our Naruto, the spirited hero, had sacrificed a lot.

 

What had happened there? It happened so fast -too fast- for anyone to really go back on it yet. How could he have met that kind of fate? What had that boy ever done to anyone?

 

“Hey, Sensei?” I turned my attention toward my golden haired student. “Yes, Naruto?” “How come so many people have to die?” I looked out the window and pondered the question, not sure how to answer. “No one knows that. But if we concentrate hard enough on living right here, right now, that should be enough for us right?” He looked down into the bowl of steaming ramen, studying his broken reflection. “If I try hard, if I try my best, what if it's not enough, Sensei? I want to live out my life as a hero.” I turn my head towards the sky. “If you try your best to live, if you try hard enough, I'm sure you'll find your path.” After a long while, Naruto met my gaze. “Let's make a promise.” “Oh? And what kind of promise would that be?” He laughed, embarrassed.

 

“When I die, you have to remember me.”

 

 

Sasuke hesitates before walking silently up. The light in his eyes has faded a long time ago. Staring into the darkness beyond the gathering, he sees the face of his old friend. He smiles, letting the tears spill from his dark eyes when the vision finally fades. The sound of the rain patters on, covering the soft words he speaks in sorrow. No one hears him.

 

It was so quiet. I longed for any sound outside, any indication of life beyond the village. The darkness pressed itself upon me, squeezing all doubt out of my weary frame. If I was going to do it, I would do it now. My hands felt lifeless as they gripped the cold window frame. I undid the latches, wondering if I would have regrets about this later. Shaking the thought off, I concentrated on landing safely and silently upon the rooftops. My sandals dug painfully into my feet every time I took a leap. I had no time to put them on properly; I was too afraid that the fear would sink in again. How long would it be before I would doubt my own strength, before I truly believed that Orochimaru had no intention of giving me power?

 

The face of my brother appeared in front of me in a momentary lapse of concentration. When I started shaking, that's when I knew I needed more power. Whatever it would take… no matter how much I would sacrifice. Itachi did not deserve to live.

 

At the gate of the village, I stared into the eyes of the moon. “Hey…” I whispered, just to have a fond farewell. “You're coming with me, right? I'm leaving everyone else behind, but you'll always be with me. If I ever falter, you have to remind me why I went on this trip in the first place.” I chuckled, amazed that I had taken the one sided conversation seriously, even for a moment. His voice echoed through the night as he said it. “Sasuke!” I wheeled, locking my eyes onto my teammate, Naruto. “How did you-” I could not finish my sentence. Naruto had pounced onto me, forcing me down. “What are you thinking?!?” His strength surpassed that of what I had ever witnessed before. His eyes burned with a passion, giving the power he needed to keep me down. I let my hatred for Itachi transfer through my eyes, forcing them onto him instead. He didn't even blink.

 

“Sasuke… what are doing here? If you're trying to leave the village, I'll… I'll never forgive you!” The sudden realization hit me. Naruto, this inexperienced ninja who could not hold his own against another rookie ninja cared about me enough to risk his life trying to stop me. No. I couldn't let him fool me. “How do you know if I'll regret this later? You idiot! You've been alone your whole life! I had parents, and I loved them so much! And you know what happened? My brother, my very own brother slaughtered them in front of my eyes! What can you say to that, huh?!?” Naruto's grip loosened for a split second, and I wrestled my arm from under his grip, winding it back to punch him. Naruto just stared at me blankly, and took the punch willingly. He flew back, letting the hard tree trunk break his flight. I looked at him, taking in the blood that ran from his mouth, the arm that cushioned his fall that was most likely broken, his emotionless face. Before I could regret anything, I pounded chakra into my legs, and prepared myself to sprint.

 

That warmth… I'll never forget it. The warmth of his hand on my shoulder, pulling me softly back. “Sasuke… I can't compete with that. But you know, we all… we all have problems to deal with. We all have one huge regret that pulls us back. But the only thing we have left to do is walk forward. If we keep walking, one day, I'm sure you'll reach that place that we wanted to reach all this time. Your path is different that this, I'm sure of it. I can't tell you that you don't have to kill Itachi, because that's your own decision. But I want to let you know, Sasuke…” I tense my shoulder, gently shaking his arm off. “Naruto, I'm glad you came after me so far, but this is something I have to do.” Naruto stares into my eyes. “Is it?”

 

Pain. Pain and sadness. Is that what being alive is all about? Is that what I'll have to go through for the rest of my life? Is this existence of mine a punishment? Please, I don't want anymore. Can you please just let me go? I want to feel what it's like to live, alright? I want to be free and happy. I want to be myself.

 

I feel a sharp sting in the back of my neck, and I realize I'm falling, falling…

 

Itachi… Naruto… Sakura… so many people. They're all so different, like the leaves on a tree. What I want is to have them all right here with me. Itachi, I'd destroy him, annihilate him. Sakura, I'd smile at, reassuring her, and Naruto… I'd…

 

What had happened? My vision was slowly blurring, making my head spin. Naruto smiled triumphantly, breaking my fall by softly catching me.

 

And… so… what kind of end will I face? When I die, will it be of my own fault? Will it have been because of my thirst for power?

 

Naruto opened his mouth. I strained my ears to hear. “Hey, Sasuke. Sorry about this. It was the only way to stop you. When you wake up again, I hope you will regain your senses.” I looked up into the sky, losing the strength to hold up my head. Naruto's last words began to flit over me like a dream. Just before I drifted away, they comforted me like the breath on the wind.

 

“Sasuke… you're not alone.”

 

 

Naruto looks up at the sky, surveying the clouds that drift peacefully. The light runs over his face, drawing patterns and shadows over his bloodied body. He smiles, laughing with the wind blowing through the day. Traquility, pure and simple washes over him.

 

I can't believe it turned out this way. I wish someone told me. I wish someone came right up to me and told me my fate. Then, maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have these regrets, stealing my air every second I need it. The ground is so hard on my body as the wounds bleed on. It's horrifying, seeing all this… blood… coming out of myself. I never thought I was capable of this. This kind of death, I don't need it. What I need is a heroic death, like dying in battle while protecting the village. Instead, I…

 

I've heard of this monster. This horrible monster inside of me. I've seen it too. That face… the eyes, yearning for the blood of the village. It's something I definitely don't want to see again. And, yet… I thought it was under control, until I realized it. What would eventually happen. Now… it's my fate, so I will accept it. Please don't blame me for what happens next, because this is my choice. In a few moments, the nine-tailed fox within me will take over my soul, and I… will perish.

 

I'm happy. I really am. This wonderful life that's been given to me… it feels like I have to give something back. I don't have a mother anymore, so instead I'm going to give it to the village. This beautiful village, I can hold it in my arms and just never let it go. All the people I met, the places I've seen… it's hard to let it go, but if it's what I have to do I can't help but accept it. All things fall… no matter how painful… or how many memories that will be forgotten. And I don't mind it.

 

The warmth of my blood comes over me, embracing me in a last attempt to keep me here. I can feel the kyuubi spirit pushing my spirit out of my body. No. I will not die like this, even if I, myself…

 

The world is such an amazing place. And who knows? There could be another world just beyond this sky that I'm watching right now, and no one knows what it would look like there. Is it completely different? Do they also have trees, leaves, and flowers? I would have liked to see that world, if only for an instant. I would have liked to see it before my death.

 

Death. It's such a sad word, and every time you say it, the echoes of your voice drift on to haunt you for the rest of your life. But I'm not afraid. To prove it to myself, I say it aloud: “Death. I'm going to die.” I chuckle quietly. I was always so afraid of dying. Every time I went on a mission, I'd wonder to myself if it would be the last time I would see the village. I would shake and shake, hoping the tears would never come. But, now… it seems so peaceful out here. And if no one ever finds my body, that's okay too. I think I'd rather disappear without a trace, like the way shinobi should leave this world. I want to hear Hinata's voice one last time. I want to see the village, to dream on in my room, and gaze up at the moon. I want to help someone believe in theirselves, I want run and run until I've seen the whole world.

 

I wish there was a little star out there that would notice me tonight. And I hope that little star can feel a little bit of sadness, and maybe just shed one tear. I'd like to feel that little tear fall onto my face. I want to feel the cool water against my skin, washing me of all my doubts.

 

Using the last of my strength, I take the kunai from my pouch. I watch the light refract on its surface, casting all sorts of illusions onto the ground. I smile. Tilting it, I see my reflection. It's a pity. I wanted to be Hokage, no matter the cost! At last, I had realized my dream. For one year- it was so amazing. Not knowing it would come out like this, I spent my life encased in my dreams, wishing and moving for that one purpose. Hey, you know? I think I won't be forgotten. The kunai is driven into my chest, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I don't want to die in the hands of a monster, so, instead, I'll end it all myself. I have… no regrets anymore.

 

 

I guess it's goodbye, then?

Clouds are drifting in front of the sun…

I probably shouldn't stay any longer…

The rain starts, so gently, so sorrowful…

I'm not going to look away anymore.

That sound, and my voice…

I did my best.

That feeling, like seeing the world again…

I can rest now, right?

The tears don't stop…

Why don't you guys just look me in the eye?

It's not any kind of illusion…

That's right- look me in the eye just like that.

The stars are all crying for me…

Good, now only say it if you mean it.

 

“Farewell, my friend. Have a good rest.”

 

Fin.