Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Stars ❯ Stars ( Chapter 1 )

Summary: (SasuNaru, SasuSaku) Sasuke loves Naruto, but his obligations get in the way.

 

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, not me.

 

 

Stars

 

The stars burned bright, covering the sky like crumbs on a picnic blanket. It was still warm out, although barely. The summer was fading fast, August slipping further away with each passing moment.

 

“I was sad while you were gone…”

 

“…Sorry,” he said slowly, seeming to really mean it.

 

“But you're back now, so I'm happy. I'm glad you're finally here again,” Naruto declared gleefully. A moment passed quietly, the light slipping away from Naruto's eyes to be replaced by a heavy-lidded something like emotional exhaustion or melancholy or bitterness. “It's funny, though—that guy, Sai—he really reminded me of you.”

 

“Don't insult me like that, dead last,” Sasuke said, banishing the cobwebs that had settled in the blond's eyes.

 

Naruto couldn't bring himself to worry, lying carelessly in Sasuke's arms. Things were finally simple— no Orochimaru, no Itachi, no Akatsuki… just a great happiness that bubbled inside and banished all doubt.

 

Sasuke had left once before, but he wouldn't do it again. He'd never leave, Naruto knew that. It would always be like this—this quiet tranquility under the night sky with only Sasuke's warmth and not a care in the world.

 

The blond stared up into the other's face, uncharacteristically open, stars glimmering in black eyes. Sasuke was almost smiling, the corners of his mouth rising nearly a half-centimeter.

 

“The stars are amazing… have you ever noticed them?” Naruto asked, his eyes shining. His face was alight, glowing with happiness. “On clear nights like this they're so bright… sometimes I even go on the roof to look at them. I always take one of my plants with me… because really, stars aren't something you should look at alone.”

 

Sasuke stared at him, something in the other's tone compelling him to feverishly clasp Naruto's hand with his own sweaty one. “You don't have to watch the stars with plants anymore, Naruto. You don't have to be alone with your stars.”

 

Naruto merely smiled. Sasuke didn't realize it, of course, because Sasuke wasn't the genius he thought he was— they were the stars, blazing and burning and shining, even if only for tonight.

 

The Uchiha's lips pressed into blond hair and strong arms tightened around Naruto. “Hey, dead last…”

“Hm?”

 

“…Love you,” the boy said quickly, his cheeks coloring as Naruto stared at him wide-eyed.

 

“Sasuke…” Naruto laughed sweetly, reaching up to touch the other's arm. “You too, bastard,” he murmured teasingly.

 

They stayed outside all night, lying in the dewy grass together until the sun rose and they shucked off their starlight like corn husks and became just boys again.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Sasuke's eyes had become black holes, sucking out all warmth and life and happiness. They were flat and dim, speaking of obligation and fatigue.

 

He had avenged Itachi. Now it was time to rebuild the clan.

 

He couldn't do that with Naruto. He loved the boy, had spent a few blissful existential months with him (just being, just feeling, letting Naruto's love engulf him and set him ablaze,) but Sasuke realized the necessity in moving on. Naruto could bear him no heirs.

 

Naruto was on their balcony, leaning against the railing as he peered at the sky. He was beautiful, always beautiful, a happy smile stretching the corners of his mouth as he turned to Sasuke. “Hey, bastard,” he greeted, shifting to kiss the corner of Sasuke's mouth. Naruto never meant it when he called Sasuke `bastard' anymore—it was like when other couples called each other `lover.' It was the same when Sasuke called Naruto `dead last.' That was how they showed their love.

 

The blond's lips were cold against his. “Come inside, d—Naruto,” Sasuke beckoned, unsure as to why the familiar insult-turned-endearment refused to roll from his tongue. “It's too cold for you to be out.”

 

“But they're so pretty tonight, Sasuke! Don't you want to watch them with me?” Naruto asked pleadingly, and Sasuke wanted nothing more than to stand outside with Naruto until their bodies froze into little twin blocks, side by side, little blocks that couldn't age or move or change. Sasuke wanted so much then to be a timeless little block of ice. That was silly, though.

 

“Come on,” Sasuke muttered harshly, taking Naruto's cold hands and tugging him inside. “Naruto, I…” Sasuke began, but his throat became terribly clogged and he was unable to continue.

 

“You love me? I know that, Sasuke. You only tell me all the time,” Naruto whispered, poking Sasuke's nose playfully.

 

Sasuke's heart cracked just a little, but he cringed a second and bit his lip and quickly sewed it back up. “No, Naruto. That's not it. What I'm trying to say is… it's over.”

 

“W-what?” Naruto couldn't process what he'd said, refused to understand what his lover—were they still lovers?—meant.

 

“I'm going to be with Sakura from now on,” Sasuke said slowly, firmly, hating himself more with each perfectly pronounced, hurtful syllable.

 

Blue eyes were wide, shocked, a pink mouth hanging limply open. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hands. “Oh, come on Sasuke—you're just teasing me, right?” he asked, a single lonely tear slipping down his cheeks. “You're just making fun of ol' Mr. Scaredy Cat, right?”

 

Sasuke couldn't stand the sight of Naruto crying, Naruto pleading, so he just turned away, wrenching his hands from the man's grasp. “I'm not kidding.”

 

The blond's lips formed a tight, thin line, his hands fisting at his sides. Sasuke wouldn't have been surprised to see familiar red pour into Naruto's eyes, but they flickered shut instead. “Bastard…” he spat, his fingernails digging into his palms so viciously that they bled.

 

Naruto was shaking, and it looked like he was trying so hard not to hurt Sasuke. Sasuke wouldn't have blamed him if he did hurt him, though—at this point, Sasuke thought it would probably make him feel better. Then he'd feel justification… somehow. If Naruto would just—in the next moment—take a kunai and shove it through Sasuke's heart… god, that would be bliss.

 

No punches came, no Rasengan whirled through the air. Naruto merely turned on his heel and stomped out of the house, the door slamming behind him. Sasuke knew the blond must be freezing outside, but he didn't have time to go after Naruto. He sighed and began gathering up his things, putting them into boxes. He was moving out of the place they'd shared for… was it really only a few months? It had felt like an eternity… a long, blissful eternity…

 

Somehow it felt like a bitter autumn wind was howling inside Sasuke's heart.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Sakura had been so shocked when Sasuke had shown up at her door with a dozen perfect roses, asking for a date. She'd honestly given up on Sasuke—she'd decided to relinquish him to Naruto, and she'd even begun to consider dating Lee. After all, he was a sweet guy, and now that she was older, things like that mattered more.

 

But now that Sasuke had come to her, she forgot everything else. They seemed to move so fast—a date one night, a proposal a few months later. Her mother was so proud, her little baby was marrying rich, strong, attractive Sasuke Uchiha and she could wave Sakura's glittering engagement ring in Mrs. Next-Door's face. Sakura had finally bested Ino, and on top of that she was making her wear a salmon pink dress to the wedding—take that, Ino-pig! Hah. She should have been happy, but somehow she wasn't…

 

When Sasuke kissed her, it didn't reach his heart. Even the more intimate things weren't what she had imagined them to be. Sasuke was a wonderful lover, but there was something missing…

 

…Love?

 

Sasuke was always so stiff. On dates, he rarely said anything. Sakura had to start the conversations, but Sasuke wouldn't finish them. Dates were always so short, just a meal, and even so Sasuke never wanted to go out after sunset, so their dates were rather unromantic.

 

When she asked why, he said he hated the stars. Sakura didn't understand how anyone could hate the lonely, beautiful stars—what did they do to you, Sasuke?— but she didn't press the matter. Sasuke didn't tell her anything much, not that she expected him to. They went on lunch dates mostly, and even that was nice, but Sasuke was still as distant as he'd always been. Nothing had changed between them. Sasuke was still just a beautiful stranger, someone you were supposed to pass on the street, have an erotic dream about, and quickly forget—but somehow he had become a fiancé, a lover, absolutely nothing.

 

Somehow, her wedding dress felt the same as what she'd worn to Sandaime's funeral. Sakura felt queasy, staring at herself in the mirror, but she knew it wasn't morning sickness. It was the kind that lasted all day, all week, an eternity.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Sakura wasn't ugly… in fact, she was actually quite pretty in an aesthetic way, and she was also a fairly powerful medic nin. She was a good choice for a wife, as Sasuke's closest female friend… but it didn't feel right.

 

He imagined her, pink hair blowing in the wind, a white summer dress covering her growing stomach… the Uchiha heir, a strong black-haired boy with shining green eyes. Then later on, a pink-cheeked girl with deep black eyes and a big forehead. They would have more after that, their beautiful and talented heap of children who, after twenty years, came back to visit on holidays with their grandchildren, all Uchiha, all… cursed.

 

Sasuke gritted his teeth.

 

It was funny, though… even as a child, when he was just planning out his revenge and the rebirth of his clan, Sasuke had always imagined his children with blue eyes. Beautiful blue eyes like oceans and skies that shone bright as stars… but which lately had been frigid and distant as Pluto.

 

Naruto hadn't spoken to him since that night—and he didn't blame him, but when the blond passed him by without a word, Sasuke's fingers twitched and he wanted so badly to grasp the sides of Naruto's face and pull him close and kiss them both senseless… although most of the time Sasuke felt senseless anyway.

 

Sometimes he wondered why he was doing it… after all, what was the point in resurrecting his clan? To pass along his tainted blood, to curse other innocents with the Uchiha legacy? Even if it was his duty, there was no one to chastise for not fulfilling his so-called obligations. The whole clan was gone, now—no one to tell him what to do. In fact, he had just begun to realize that he could do whatever the hell he wanted to.

 

“I can… do what I want…” he murmured to himself.

 

Was it possible? Was this dangerous idea really the truth?

 

Sasuke began to tremble as thoughts raced through his mind. Maybe… maybe he didn't really have any obligations? Maybe…

 

Maybe the stars had crashed down to the earth and changed all the rules.

 

~*~*~*~

 

It was dreadfully cold and dark, no light except streetlamps and an infant moon. Sasuke couldn't wait until the morning, though—he had to try tonight. It would be tonight or never.

 

The streets of Konoha were deserted as he moved about, tracing the familiar path to his old apartment… the one he'd shared with Naruto. Just following this path brought back precious memories, and Sasuke felt a sweet taste building in his mouth. Life could be right again, that smile could be his once more. An incredible joy was building inside, expanding in his chest like a bellows.

 

Sasuke didn't even bother knocking on the door— he was too excited to wait for Naruto to answer. He merely retrieved the spare key from where it had always been, under one of Naruto's plants that lived outside (Sasuke took it as a good sign that he hadn't moved it, hadn't made an effort to keep Sasuke out) and unlocked the door.

 

The lights were on when Sasuke entered, but Naruto wasn't to be seen. There were abandoned bowls on the kitchen table, one empty (and, judging by the lack of leftover broth or noodles, drained and licked clean) and the other still rather full of ramen. The door to the balcony was open.

 

Sasuke's heart thundered in his chest as he approached the open doors, the starless night pouring in to cloud Sasuke's eyes. He couldn't—was that really—?

 

“Naruto…” Sasuke choked out, covering his mouth with his hand.

 

The blond gave a startled jump, effectively breaking contact with the panting black-haired man.

 

“Bastard,” Naruto growled, his eyes alight. “What the hell are you doing here?”

 

“I'll go,” the man said, moving away through the house.

 

“Oh, forget him, Sai. He'll be gone soon,” Naruto declared, cracking his knuckles.

 

“Really,” Sai replied firmly, retrieving his coat and heading for the door. “Thanks for dinner. If you're ever sad again… you know where I am,” Sai murmured, staring at Naruto intensely for a moment before shutting the door behind him and leaving the two to glower at each other.

 

“Why are you here, Sasuke? You've got no right to be here, bastard!”

 

Sasuke was nervous, knowing that nothing good could come from this. He should've stayed at home. He was an idiot for assuming that Naruto had remained faithful to Sasuke—after all, why would he? Sasuke had broken their relationship off, had taken Naruto's glass heart and crushed it in his hands, for… no reason at all. Heh. “I know that… but… I still love you, Naruto.”

 

“Fuck you,” the blond growled, but Sasuke could see the tears in his eyes. “You bastard… if you loved me all along, then why do that to me?” Naruto asked angrily, and Sasuke pulled the man into his arms.

 

“I was an idiot,” Sasuke answered softly. It would've been a difficult thing to say if it hadn't been so true. “I thought I needed to recreate my clan… but then I realized I didn't want to. I realized I'd rather be with you.”

 

“Well, maybe I'm not willing anymore, Sasuke.”

 

“I know I shouldn't expect you to have any feelings for me… but I am sorry,” Sasuke whispered into the blond's hair.

 

“Shut up,” Naruto protested, but allowed Sasuke to run his fingers through his hair. “You and your damn avenging… you've left me twice because of it now.”

 

Outside, a falling star crashed and burned.

 

Sasuke shut his eyes tight and made a wish, his lips moving against Naruto's hair.

 

“What?”

 

“I really am a bastard, huh?” Sasuke agreed, opening his eyes.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Do you love me?”

 

“…Yeah,” Naruto admitted, his eyes and voice soft. “Bastard.”

 

“…Dead last,” Sasuke breathed, his voice as sweet as it could be.

 

“I hear you're marrying Sakura.”

 

“Not anymore… she doesn't know it yet, though.”

 

The blond pushed him away at that, a hard look in his eyes. Sasuke couldn't breathe, staring at him—his life began and ended with what Naruto felt, what he wanted. Sasuke realized that his life was forfeit, completely in the blond's warm hands, but wasn't quite sure where or when it had happened.

 

“Get back my ring and then we'll talk,” Naruto said, not meeting Sasuke's eyes.

 

“Your ring?”

 

“Yeah, bastard. Any ring you buy belongs on my finger… and besides, Sakura doesn't deserve that. You don't love her—and she doesn't really love you either—so let her go. It's better for you both.”

 

Sasuke smiled, gently kissed the blond's bare ring finger, and left, the door closing quietly behind him.

 

So the next day, Sasuke showed up at Sakura's door with a dozen perfect roses, asking for a ring.