Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Terpsichore ❯ because you're with me PART 1 ( Chapter 2 )

Terpsichore

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going around and around
like darting horse lights
with nothing but the film of my memories
"why do I cry?"
is it even heartless...
your appearance grows dull.
but with that vividly,
you are changing beautifully
--MYV


2: because you're with me (part 1)

He slammed his apartment door shut and leaned against it, mouth opened to let worn out pants escape. Wet jump suit clung to his skin. Water droplets fell from the end of his strands and onto the tip of his nose. Quivering, Naruto made a quiet frustrated growl.

“Fuck, Naruto, you wimp!”

He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. With heavy breaths, he slowly slid to the ground and clenched his fists.

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--A Few Hours Ago--

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They called it Fete, because it was supposed to celebrate the defeat of Kyuubi, the tenth day of the tenth month. A large part of Konoha was used to build the festival, approximately by Mt. Hokage. It was a one-week or so event that happened only once a year, so regulations say that everyone must participate, which meant missions were temporarily put on hold and no Konoha villagers were free. The Godaime Hokage only permitted few ninjas to work because she, herself, had to take part of the celebration.

But on the exact day of Kyuubi's seal, the Fete engagement was necessary. Whether to mourn, have fun, or simply watch, every dweller in the city was to enter. The rules also included Uzumaki Naruto a participant, much to a few's chagrin.

It wasn't that he was prohibited to step within the festival. He decided that it was best watching it from afar, on top of the mountain, or behind a shadowed area. He didn't want to ruin their fun, either ways.

Naruto marched down the nearly empty streets of Konoha, his face attempting a defiant look. He avoided the closeness of people for if they push him to the ground, they'd open his wound. Kyuubi was not fond of wasting its energy on mere 'scratches' and refused to heal his injury fully. For now, people cast him looks and turned away. When he moved, the injuries didn't extract enough pain to cause him to cringe.

The afternoon sun glared like a devil, flickering off deadly bright golden rays as it hid behind the mountains. Naruto stopped along the way to check any possible stores opened in this side of the village. He'd been meaning to eat at Ichiraku since yesterday but his current collection of money was only enough for a large stack of bandages. And besides, he may need much more to—

“Naruto!”

Said name silently cursed and stopped walking. He then turned around slowly to face the coming voice.

Naruto tried a smile, and succeeded.

“Sakura-chan, yo.”

The pink-haired ran to stop in front of him. Her shoulder-length hair fell forward as she bent over and took a huge breath. She looked up at him and smiled.

“Thank goodness I finally found you!” she exclaimed, “I thought you were with Sasuke-kun training, but he said you weren't there in the morning so I thought I'd go look for you at the ramen stand, but they said you weren't there, so I checked your apartment but nobody answered...!”

The boy raised an eyebrow.

“I was in my apartment,” he answered, “uhh... sleeping, probably why I couldn't answer?”—he scratched the back of his head—“the bedroom door is usually shut tight, so...”

But then he remembered that he was supposed to meet Sasuke this morning. He bit his tongue.

“Crap, I forgot about this morning!” he swore and stuffed the hand scratching his head back into his pocket, “Sasuke must have been pissed, right?”

Sakura flicked her hair behind her shoulders and sighed.

“Think so,” she replied.

“You think so?”

“Well, since he's always so sullen, it's hard to tell,” the girl answered, “but today he was more sour than usual, though it may have been my imagination. He was really concerned, you know. You never miss training with him, and when you do, you're usually sick or injured... but you seem fine.”

“Really?” Naruto couldn't help but ask, “why would the bastard be worried?”

For the past months, conspicuous remarks, by Sakura, of the Uchiha being evidently worried—especially at him, no less, were almost unremarkably said. Normally, it was on occasions like this, or any other special holidays, but that didn't stop Naruto from denying. Even Tsunade-baabaa was worried... so there was no point of thinking that only Sasuke actually cared.

But that feigned desire still held onto Naruto's yearn and... oh dear, he would die if Sakura caught his cheeks flushing slightly now.

“Knowing him, he probably wants to know why you were so mad and yelled at him yesterday,” Sakura said.

There was a short pause in which Naruto didn't say anything. He made a look and opened his mouth to say something to Sakura when the girl smiled and waved a hand at him. She made a gentle snort.

“It's all right,” she responded, “most of the ninjas come back after a long mission looking pissed off. I don't blame you.”

“After all,” Sakura continued, after Naruto nodded, “it's a hectic month and everyone is occupied with one or two things.”

“Mostly one thing,” Naruto muttered but only smiled when Sakura missed it.

She looked timid at the moment and Naruto watched as she put her hands behind her and idly stared at the ground.

“Wanna walk?” she asked, “I wanted to talk to you.”

The two headed down the sidewalk with a curt silence as they passed a couple of people and opened stores Naruto had thought of going in. His heart fell at the many opened pharmacies they had just passed by. Still insistent, though, he silently begged Kyuubi to heal him again. And still... he received the same ‘you earned the pain, you heal it yourself, you indigent brat!’

“Going anywhere today?” Sakura asked.

Naruto shook his head.

“Nah. Just wanted to walk. I've been standing for the past three days, guarding at Hidden Water so I've missed moving my feet,” he replied, “plus... with Jounin exams coming next year, I was planning to tell Sasuke to train with me, but I missed a chance this morning since I was tired and all.”

He maneuvered his direction away from the path to the hospital or another pharmacy so that Sakura followed him towards the forest park. Even in the training grounds or just outside the pavement areas, the surroundings lacked people. Very few shinobi went outside to train. Most were appointed missions to help build the Fete. The Godaime had given him a similar mission but he had refused and requested another one.

It wasn't like starting to act how you actually feel about something was wrong, right? He had always hated his birth date but no complaints ever came out of his mouth. Besides, it wasn’t like letting his feelings loose, and finally acting like he really hated his birthday would hurt anybody.

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“My mission's complete,” the blonde affirmed, “gimme another one, old hag.”

The Godaime flipped through her files and set them all in one corner of her desk. There were many, but she didn't scan any of them. Instead, she moved her head up to look at him. Naruto fidgeted and expected the next commission.

“Naruto, I want you to help build the festival,” she said, “we need more people and if a shinobi helps, it makes the job much easier so that civilians aren't wor—“

Naruto made a noise, slightly panicky, but still firm. He straightened.

“No, I want a different one.”

“What?”

Tsunade's eyes flickered as he watched him stare back at her. She shifted from her uniform and raised her head so that she could see his face fully as she wore the pointed hat.

“You heard me, I want a different mission,” Naruto scowled, “you can't be that old to not hear me clearly saying it.”

Tsunade frowned.

“But this month is the month of celebrating and having fun,” she pointed out, “everyone must participate, Naruto. You can't just—...you can't do this every year.”

“Celebrating and being happy, my ass,” Naruto interrogated, “it's not my place when I'm not welcome.”

“You have the rights to take part, kid,” the Hokage answered.

“And I have the rights to refuse.”

“You can't do this every year, Naruto,” she repeated, containing her frustrations.

“I can.”

“You aren't getting anywhere with this kind of attitude.”

“I don't care.”

Tsunade growled.

“You aren't helping yourself, either, you damn brat!” she spat, “do you think running away because of something this shitty will help you mend yourself?”

She watched as his breathing labored. Anger started to rise from his throat. She felt him move and if he hadn’t controlled his urgency, he could have taken a step forward and could have screamed at her, loud enough for the whole village to hear, and then could have stormed out. But, luckily, he kept his command.

“I said: I - don't - care,” he ground out, “what else can I do? Go in there and watch while I'm being discriminated, shamed, and completely shaken off like I don't exist? Walk in and make their smiles turn into a frown? Just remember who created that fucking event and why it was created!”

Only Naruto could speak to a Hokage like that. If it wasn’t Naruto, he could have been suspended. But Tsunade favored him too much.

“Uzumaki Naruto created that event after Kyuubi was sealed inside you,” the Hokage answered, “the festival is there for people to mourn and forget about the pain. There is no rule that says you are forbidden to mourn and forget about the pain.”

She stopped when Naruto snorted and gave a dark laugh.

“You wouldn't believe if I told you how many times I've heard that," he huffed, "but it doesn't help, old hag.”

“And just how is it that it does not help, Uzumaki Naruto?” Tsunade asked coolly.

Naruto didn't wince at the coldness of it. He stared at the ground for a second and then back at the woman.

“I want a different mission, Godaime-sama,” it was Tsunade who cringed.

“But, Naruto...”

“I don't want to take part of the festival.”

“You must.”

“It's not my place.”

“But—“

“Please.R 21;

She didn't ask anymore. She had a vague idea about it but she did not dare argue with him again. With a sigh, she requested a three-day guard at Hidden Water, even though she knew Naruto wanted more days away from Konoha. After that, he gave her a weak smile, until it disappeared when his mouth opened.

“You wanted an answer to your question, hag?” he asked.

Tsunade glanced up at him.

“Here,” Naruto lifted the hem of his shirt, exposing a large portion of his abdomen. Without making any seals, he narrowed his eyes and focused on something within his soul. The woman gazed at the black seal and the small amount of demonic chakra rising in the air. As the tattoo resurfaced, Naruto moved a hand to clutch on the swirls, tardily clenching his hold. He stared at her with sad eyes and gave a subtle vulpine smirk.

“Because the pain of death never goes away... when the source of hurt is still alive.”

He then turned around and left without letting her debate.

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“... Naruto?”

The said boy snapped from his reverie and looked at the pink-haired with dazed confusion.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Is anything the matter?” she asked, worry lining about her brows.

Naruto shook his head.

“Nothing's wrong, Sakura-chan,” he smiled.

The girl punched his shoulder lightly and frowned.

“Geez, Naruto,” she nearly pouted, “I told you that 'Sakura' is all right. We're not children anymore.”

“I'm sorry, Sakura-chan,” the boy apologized, moving a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“Naruto! Stop it!” Sakura exclaimed.

“Only if you stop with the '-kun' to Sasuke, I'll stop calling you that,” Naruto grinned.

But his smile faded a little bit when Sakura blushed. A conscious pang of jealousy inside made their walk silent, as Naruto clamped his mouth shut and pondered.

We're best friends. Of course Sakura-chan still has feelings, you idiot. Even Sasuke knows she still has a small crush on him. It doesn't mean you have to be so fucking jealous, you dumbass! Oh my god, am I blushing again?—he felt his cheeks, and worried on its slight warmth—oh fuck, you are! What's Sakura-chan gonna think now? She'll know you have a thing for that bastard and she'll freak out and call you a 'los—'!

“Do you want to hang out here?” Sakura asked.

“Uh... wha?”

Naruto gazed at the object of question in front of him. It was a vacant playground he had seen, always full of children playing on it. He watched as Sakura took a seat on the bench, getting rid of the wrinkles on her skirt.

“I wanted to talk to you about something..” she began. “Sasuke-kun and I were talking about it when you were on your mission, actually...”

“Uh huh,” Naruto lifted a foot and began to stride on the playground.

The playground he had secretly played at every midnight, alone, when he was younger.

“We were going to talk to you about it but you were in a bad mood,” Sakura told him.

She looked at him with her faint emerald eyes. There was uncertainty in them, but slight anticipation. Suddenly, Naruto dreaded the atmosphere and feared it was what he thought it was.

Shit! They're...!

“I—is it about... you two?” his heart fell.

To his surprise, Sakura held both hands up and widened her eyes.

“What? Of course not!” she cried.

Naruto observed her.

She seemed... surprised... as well?

“Oh... okay,” he fought not to exhale in relief.

“It's... about you,” she said, “but also about the three of us. Or the four of us, including Kakashi-sensei. But... mostly you.”

“Okay,” Naruto repeated as he touched the sandy ground of the playground. Sand engulfed his sandaled foot.

“Would you mind?” Sakura asked, “it won't take long, but I know you have better things to do so...”

“Anything for a friend,” he sent her an assured vulpine smirk and chose the swing set.

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Dark and gloomy nights were common in autumn and winter. The stars rarely showed themselves and any signs of life out there in such a depressing night were well hidden. However, natural depression was forgotten this time of the month and all citizens of Konoha spent their time building the Fete.

It was already an hour and a half before midnight that Naruto finally bought his kit of bandages. He was appeased, to say the least... but his face clearly did not succeed in brightening. The grave look wouldn't leave his expression as he clenched on his bag.

“Damnit,” he mumbled, “if I didn't say those to her, she wouldn't look so suspicious. Shit! Damnit! She probably is!”

“Who is, usurato–”

“KyAAh!” Naruto jumped up from the ground and out of his on-going reverie.

Instinctively, he twisted and whacked the intruder behind him with the bag of bandages. He groaned and doubled over a little as his wounds started to open for the second time this day. The shadow didn't bother dodging the hit since it didn't leave any effect, nor had Naruto hit hard enough.

Naruto cursed and touched his chest.

“Did any of your training do you good?” the familiar voice taunted. “You'll never be a jounin with those kind of hits.”

“Ahh! It's you!” Naruto hopped backwards and pointed at Sasuke, whose darkened figure lightened as he stepped into the moonlight. Naruto ignored the look he gave him and scowled.

“What the hell are you doing in here, teme?” he demanded.

“I might as well ask you the same thing, dobe,” was the only reply.

Naruto calmed down and placed his arms limp to his sides.

“I was buying food, got a problem with that?”

“...Yeah, I do,” the brunet answered, raising an eyebrow, “since when do you eat bandages?”

“’The hell are you talking about?” Naruto rose his brow as well, and looked at his bag. He cursed as the rolls of bandages lay exposed, three rolls were unwind and drooped on the ground. Sasuke looked at the bag and then at the blond. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and a long black scarf cloaked around his neck. His gaze was long enough to make Naruto fidget in nervosity.

“What do you want, bastard?” he managed to ask without stuttering. When the other merely stared, he frowned and slowly turned away.

“Whatever, I'm going home,” he muttered loudly.

He could hear Kyuubi laughing at him inside, teasing him about his drooling slashes. The demon's mocks were already enough to withstand, let alone Sasuke's own jeer tonight. After all, he had a wound to tend to by himself, and Sasuke was distracting enough, boring his stupid black eyes through his back. What, is there blood seeping out or something? This isn’t funny!

...That thought made Naruto paranoid, unconsciously looking over his shoulder to scan his back. When he didn't find anything, he gave Sasuke a frown and started walking back to his apartment.

“Did you hurt yourself?”

Somehow, the words caught his feet and made him freeze on the spot. Naruto looked at the brunet over his shoulder with wide eyes.

“W—what?”

Sasuke took a step forward and eyed the bag he was holding once more. It was clear he was suspecting something. As much as Naruto admired his cleverness, he hated him for it, being a fucking genius and all.

“Did you hurt yourself?” he repeated.

The blond wanted to laugh at him and ask what the hell he meant. But dull black eyes pinned his mouth closed and held his posture as it was. However, the remaining control of his inner self was still there and he got by a small—squeaky—chuckle.

“What?... no,” he managed, “of course... I'm not hurt.”

Ah, but he was. He could feel the blood flowing down his wounds and sluggishly soaking his undershirt.

“Umm... why do you ask?”

Sasuke didn't respond. He stood there, like a statue, like he expected Naruto to say something else, something more. But Naruto couldn't entirely tell what his expression was, because his mouth was well hidden behind the scarf.

“When someone carries a bag of bandages, they are bound to have gotten hurt,” he replied.

“Ah...” Naruto looked at the ground.

He hadn't thought of that.

But, you know... he still tried.

“It's... uh...” – ...sometimes he really wished he hadn’t went on the mission alone... and that someone else was actually injured – “it's for Shika—err, no... Kiba!” – because he knew that that was the stupidest answer – “yeah and, um, yeah... I'm going home and you're blocking my way...” – and that, also, was the second stupidest answer ever... because he was heading the opposite way.

Sasuke smirked. At least, Naruto thought so. Sasuke's eyes always crinkle a teeny weeny bit when he smirks or sneers even though nobody notices.

“Oh?” he said.

“Yes, smartass!” Naruto shot him an annoyed look. But he should have said 'bastard' because it was easier to say to Sasuke without defining how Sasuke's gaze managed to tear open his lie - his every lie.

“Because I clearly remember Inuzuka having this month off,” the brunet continued, “and last time he had a mission, he went home... unscratched.”

Now Naruto was annoyed.

“And how the hell would you know?”

If it even was possible, Sasuke's smirk widened.

“Shikamaru and I were with him.”

I hate you, Uchiha Sasukeeee!—Naruto's bottom lip puckered out and he refused to blush. On the other perspective, Sasuke's eyes frothed in satisfaction when a slight pink tinge appeared on the blond's upper cheek and his clenched hand inside his pocket loosened as he watched with amusement at Naruto fighting down the itch to throw a childish tantrum.

“It's for me,” Naruto gave up, “got a problem with that?”

Sasuke snorted at the blond's attitude. Here he was, being benevolent enough to ask and all he got were stubborn remarks.

“Honestly, dobe,” the brunet rolled his eyes and then took the large bag from Naruto's hand, who unconsciously let him.

“What are you doing?” Naruto asked.

“When you give me lame excuses like that, I just know something is wrong,” Sasuke replied.

That struck something inside Naruto and he couldn't help but stare back. Uchiha Sasuke was a well-known ice-prick who didn't give a shit about anything but his own past. Naruto had realized long ago how a simple concern could destroy his own personal shield of deceit.

“You... concern?” he asked rather dumbly.

Sasuke sighed and held up the plastic bag.

“Who wouldn't when you carry around a heavy load of bandages all for yourself,” he told him, “anyone would be troubled and start wondering what the hell you're up to.”

Naruto felt the crack of his inner wall rebuilding.

“Oh... right...”

Of course.

Anyone would be worried.

He couldn't help but stare at the ground. There were times he thought Sasuke was giving him hints that maybe, he, too, may have a tiny, little bit, of, slightly sentimental, and maybe a crush on him. Since he didn't act like he did towards others as he openly did to him, Naruto was given false hope that someone could possibly like him more than a friend or a family.

Indeed... it felt false.

He had refused a few missions that required Naruto and Sasuke together, unless it had been urgent. He felt vulnerable when Sasuke was on his team because if he would get hurt, Sasuke would yell at him. If he would trip over a rock without thinking or get attacked, Sasuke would only pay attention to him. And that factor made the emotion Naruto had been keeping inside surface and made the feeling of being alone begin to haunt him.

Because everyone would eventually leave him, right?

There was no use getting closer than how close you already were.

He didn't want to get hurt. No, he didn’t want to hurt again. Maturity obviously wasn't enough to earn respect from the villagers. Pain was consistently involved with the past and that was something he couldn't erase from them. That was something he couldn't make them forget.

Repent rose up inside him again, as well as Kyuubi's incessant mockery. There was a lump in his throat and he had difficulty swallowing it down. There was self-hatred, too, that he couldn't lie to Sasuke. Even if he did, the Uchiha could slice him open again and again.

Unfortunately, Sasuke saw the change of emotions and took a step forward. Before he was able to open his mouth, the sound of noisy laughter filled the dead night air.

“Oni, oni, don't take me! Oni, oni, set us free!”

Naruto's train of thoughts were interrupted as he turned his head and watched a group of junior kids appear in the moonlight. They were singing and laughing, spraying each other with hoses. Naruto recognized them.

“Shit, those brats,” he muttered angrily, clenching his fists.

“You know them?” Sasuke asked.

“Yeah, they supposedly 'bully' me because I'm a freak,” Naruto rolled his eyes, “didn't they learn their lesson a few weeks ago, those fucking kids?”

Sasuke didn't say anything. If he would, he'd have been interrupted again when a kid started shrieking.

“Ah, look, look! It's the demon!”

Someone pointed a finger at Naruto and another laughed.

“Get it, get it, Tako!”

They aimed the hose at him and sprayed his back. Naruto pushed Sasuke out of the hose shot and growled.

“You fucking brats! Didn't I tell you're mothers to tell you to stay away from me!” he shouted.

The water scattered hard on his chest and he flinched. It was icy cold and didn't help ease his injury. Naruto clutched his chest and cursed, bending over. He felt Sasuke move but before the other could do something, like hit the kids, yell at them, beat the hell out of them, anything, they had ran away, laughing.

Blond locks were soaked and orange suit was drenched. He was breathing hard after the encounter, his hair clinging onto his cheeks. He felt his body weigh his balance down so he bent over and fell.

Right in front of the bastard, too. What's he gonna think now?

The last thought lingered a little bit and he opened his eyes when his knees didn't hit the ground. An arm snaked around his abdomen to keep him from falling and Sasuke's low voice filled his ear.

“You really are an idiot,” the dark-haired muttered.

There was something behind that phrase, a different meaning behind the way it was said, and Naruto couldn't help but let the arm poise him. Hot breaths that made him forget about how cold he was tonight, breathing in and out and in and out... so how was he to move away? He didn’t understand emotions like these. It wasn't often that somebody made him feel like this.

And... it sort of hurt.

He didn't care, because, for now, he would pretend that only Sasuke cared. But when the arms tightened, he yelped in pain and remembered his lesion.

“Ow, fuck, damnit, it still hurts!”

Crap.

He plucked the arm off his stomach and tried to make a dash for it. Sasuke's eyes had turned into a light shade of dark brown, reflecting intense vexation, returned to its dull state as he stared at the blond's back.

“Naruto, you–”

“I—I have to go and... and...” he shut his eyes tightly then looked over at Sasuke. He hated how stupid he was sometimes. When opened, his eyes were still wide with fear of... something. “I have to go.”

He didn't let Sasuke talk back. He didn't see Sasuke try to grab him again, or the way his eyes gave a pained look, or that he was about to open his mouth and say something. Naruto focused chakra on his feet and jumped away as fast as he could, cursing to himself.

-
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And that... was another ordinary day of Uzumaki Naruto. His wet clothes weighed him down and he was too emotionally exhausted to move his arms and strip them off. He let the back of his head bang against the door for a little bit as a long ragged sigh escaped his mouth.

He couldn't think right when this time of the year arrived. Emotions exploded throughout him like fireworks, making him unsure how he should react.

Sleep.

Yeah.

He felt sleepy and he needed sleep. His eyes were drooping and his visions were blurred. Exhaustion took him over and he quietly slumped against the door, closing his eyes. He had forgotten that he was wearing wet clothing. He forgot that he was supposed to take his sandals off when he came in.

The problem was, really, that he had forgotten his bag of bandages. Sasuke still had them and he was determined to track the blond down for answers. What was even worse was that he never noticed the doused pool of blood that clearly stained his front jacket, a drool of tiny red stream sliding down his side and onto the floor.

Even so... all he cared for right now was sleep, and the hoped he wouldn’t dream about pain and death again tonight. And fucking Kyuubi was still laughing.

-

to be continued