Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Answer ❯ The Answer ( Chapter 1 )

Summary: Kakashi's past love life revealed! A girl falls sort of in love with him. But what can they do? She finds meaning in her own way. Takes place two years before the start of Naruto.

 

TheAnswer

Inoue, a simple girl, finds her dream and realizes it's never too late to follow that dream.

 

There are things in this world that I don't understand. I think one of the many things is the fact that this man wears his mask almost 24 hours a day. If not found wearing said mask he is found with something obstructing the lower part of his face. One of my later memories I remember when I woke up early just to see his face. It was a mission and we were living in close quarters. And what would you know? His blanket was conveniently covering the lower part of his face. He was incredible to somehow manipulate the covers to cover himself. That's one of the happier memories I have of Hatake Kakashi.

 

My name is Inoue. It's a simple name for an equally simple girl. I'm in no way related to the Yamanaka clan. I don't have blond hair or blue eyes. I have black hair and black eyes; to me it's all very plain. I'm a loner. I don't have a family. I was abandoned as a child and I don't have memories of that time in my life.

 

The first time I laid my eyes on Kakashi was when I was walking towards the books shop. Literally my mind was in the clouds. I was looking up and wondering what a beautiful blue they were. Any shade of blue always reminded me of the eyes of our great Hokage, the fourth.

 

I have a confession to make; I'm a huge Yondaime fan. But deep down all the fans knew that he wasn't interested in such young girls. Besides, there was always a beautiful blond woman that hung out with him all the time. That time when the fourth died was a sad day and strangely enough that beautiful woman was never seen again. My ninja instincts suspected something, but what do I really know? That was ten years ago.

 

Kakashi didn't move to avoid me but we both collided into each other. I had almost fallen, but he took my wrist gently and held me up. I steadied my legs on the ground. This was so unlike me to not notice a presence. I looked up at who had saved me. He was much taller than me. I probably came up to his chest just barely.

“Ah sorry about that Kakashi-san.” I bowed at him. People in a small town tend to know the names of the famous and powerful ninjas of the village. Kakashi was a popular Jounin among everyone.

 

“Ah.” He walked past me and into the book store. That was the famous cool act I had heard from the other ninjas. This was the first time that I actually encountered Kakashi's indifference. I can't say that I was impressed or discouraged. I think I felt equally indifferent.

 

I walked into the bookstore to find my usual magazine that I read every month. “Kimono Digest”, my must-have magazine for any stylish young girl. Well I guess I'm not that young. I mean I'm already in my twenties. Soon I'll be in my late twenties and I'll wonder where have all the best years of my life went. That will be then, but now is now.

 

The magazine was so interesting. I suppose to some people I have weird tastes but I barely have any happiness these days. I get assigned the boring C-rank missions and even boring D-rank ones too. Well I'm not that great of a ninja I suppose. I guess it's because I'm only a Chuunin. I'm 23 and I'm still a Chuunin doing Genin level missions. So I have to take my mind off of these sad things from time to time.

 

That outfit did look great. I suppose I could try making it too. Oh that was another hobby of mine, making kimonos by hand. Those types of things are really fun to me. I had a great big grin on my face as I looked through the magazine.

 

I heard someone giggling from down the aisle. It was that man again, Kakashi. Oh right he was quite famous for reading those books in public. Something about reading them in public made him much harder to approach I heard. I guess I see the reasoning in that. If he was kept busy then he wouldn't have to talk to anyone. Curiosity got the better of me.

 

“Ah…Excuse me Kakashi-san?” I wanted to make sure that he wasn't going to pop something out of place.

 

“Inoue-san was it?”

 

I was slightly surprised that he knew my name. I mean I'm just a lowly Chuunin, nothing special. “Yes, that's me. Ah Kakashi-san are you ok?” I looked at the book that he was holding.

 

There were two editions of the Icha Icha series. I later learned the issue that he owned currently was the old censored version. He was at the book store reading the difference between the new and old versions. I think that Jiraiya-sama sure outdid himself. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

 

“I'm fine Inoue-san.” He went back to his reading as if nothing happened. I turned away from him and gave him the best sexist walk that I could muster. This walk helped me complete many missions in my sad little existence.

 

I turned around slightly at the end of the aisle and saw that he was just looking at his book. He wasn't looking at me at all. That idiot.

 

When I finished paying for my magazine I went home slightly discouraged. I guess the only way to explain this feeling was because I had a crush on the famous copy-ninja. I just have a weakness for beautiful and strong ninjas. That would explain my weird admiration for the late fourth.

 

It was almost dark when I finally got home to my lonely apartment. I laid down on my tiny bed and pushed my face into the soft pillow. My life was pathetic. No excitement, no love, no power. What was I? I was a 20 something drop-out with nothing in the future. I have nothing to look forward to. Sigh. I decided times likes these meant that I had to sleep. So I slept.

 

The next day all my depressing feelings went away for that day. I got out of bed and got dressed in my ninja outfit. Although I did sew kimonos as a hobby and sometimes as my livelihood I did love my shinobi outfit that I wore all the time. Yesterday, when I saw Kakashi I wasn't wearing my outstanding uniform. Well scratch that I was just wearing the standard issue uniform that everyone wears. My outstanding uniform was my own design. I meant business when I wore it. My many weak enemies never seemed to notice. Sigh.

 

The office was where I went to. I hope there were some good missions still left to me. There was a time in my life when I was assigned the `good' missions. Then one day I stopped getting the challenging ones. It was either escort this person or bring this to whoever. Maybe today would be an interesting day after all. I just had a feeling about it.

 

When I gently knocked on the door I saw the third sitting there looking all dignified and wise. Iruka was a new teacher at the academy. I actually considered taking a teaching position just like Iruka, but I felt that it just wasn't me. Iruka was so encouraging at the time. I had a weird feeling about him. Yeah, I think he wants me. Modest aren't I?

 

“Good morning everyone.” I bowed slightly and smiled at them. “Inoue, it's good to see you well.” Iruka smiled at me. Meh, just indifferent to him and his nice guy ways. “Good to see you all too. I hope I get a good mission today.” I paused. “Something about planting the new spring bloom just isn't doing it for me.” The third looked at me sternly.

 

“Inoue you aren't a Genin anymore. You will do the missions that you are assigned to.” Sometimes the third can be so serious.

 

“Hai, hai.” I stood before them looking lazy.

 

“Well today you are assigned a special mission. Since you like to sew you're going to go undercover.” Iruka explained the mission. I had to go undercover as a seamstress and nab a thief and in the process sew kimonos and have them ready to sell. So it was a 2 for 1 in a way. It sounded very boring.

 

“Inoue! Are you listening?” The third reprimanded me again. “What? Ji-chan?”

 

“This isn't a normal D or C rank-mission. This is an A one and it might easily turn into an S-rank.” The third was serious about this. I suddenly turned stern and was paying full attention. “Will I be getting any back up for this?” It was crazy to expect someone of my rank to be doing a possible S-rank. Only the Jounins and quite possibly the third should be doing them.

 

“Yes, the team will consist of you and Hatake Kakashi.” Suddenly a puff of white smoke appeared next to Hokage. It was Kakashi.

 

“Yo.” He saluted me slightly.

 

“Oh.” I was surprised to say the least. My crush came back instantly. I won't be in any danger if I'm with Kakashi. The teenager girl in me just smiled with hearts in my eyes. “Let's do our best ok?” I smiled at him shyly.

 

“Ah.” Was his aloof answer.

 

So we went on the mission. Through out the whole trip when we had to travel there he didn't seem to be very friendly. I guess I don't come off as much of a ninja. It's like all I really care about is clothes. I should have been a dressmaker or something. I remembered one time in my life that someone saved me, it was a ninja and from that point on I knew that I was to become a ninja. I'm a ninja with strange hobbies I think.

 

I'll never forget how I was saved by that person. I was still just a little girl of about four or five. The person that saved me was probably about my age. I had fallen off a cliff because I had run away from the group home that I was staying in. I hated that family. I wouldn't even call it a family, more like a boarding school.

 

Well that mysterious person saved me and I never even got to thank that person. From that day I trained hard to be a ninja but I think my motivation slowly disappeared as I found other things to put my energy in.

 

The days at the academy weren't the greatest times of my life. I wasn't particularly strong nor weak. I had average marks for an average ninja. To this day I still view myself as an average person only about a Chuunin level. There's a special kind of person that makes the Jounin level.

 

Kakashi seemed to be bored of the whole mission. I had suggested to him that maybe the person that requested for ninjas only wanted the top to come and help. If they're welling to pay for top ninjas then that's fine by me. Finally an interesting mission.

 

We arrived at the first inn of the day. Traveling was taking a toll on my poor feet, but Kakashi didn't seem to complain or look tired. We were sitting in the room with the summer sun setting creating and orange light in the room.

 

“Hey Kakashi-san is there something you want to eat?” I started to unpack a few of my things from my bag. “No thanks I'm fine.” Kakashi had taken off his vest. He was still reading his perverted book. He had been reading that damn book all day.

 

I bet some of my comrades would have died of happiness to be stuck in the same room as the copy ninja Kakashi. I don't know how I feel about the whole thing. I guess I'm a little curious.

 

“Do you think we'll make it by tomorrow night?” I asked him.

 

“Most likely. If not we can make it the day after tomorrow. I don't think that kimono shop is in much of a hurry.” He turned a page in his book.

 

“Hey Kakashi-san think fast.” I threw an apple that I had picked earlier. He caught it with no trouble and wiped it on his shirt. I turned around too look at the sun setting and gush a little in my mind. The balcony was a nice touch of the inn. I sat down; my legs were dangling off the edge. I was excited. I was really excited to be working at a real clothes shop.

 

“I would have been a dressmaker if I hadn't been a ninja.” I sighed quietly. I realized after my sigh that I had said that out loud.

 

“You could still be anything you want. You're still young.” He sat down next to me. I tried looking for the apple that I gave him and I found a pit on the floor of the room. “Eh? That was fast.”

 

“Huh? What is?” He looked puzzled. I just shook my head. “Never mind.” I had learned from somewhere that one must never directly ask Kakashi about his mask fetish thing.

 

“I'm kind of excited about this mission.” I confessed to him again. This wasn't like me to say whatever that was on my mind.

 

“Really. Maybe you should have been a dressmaker then.” He looked at my outfit. Let's say I do wear the standard issue uniform but I've taken certain liberties with it.

 

The only word to describe my outfit is that it's a bit strange. I always thought that only those at the Jounin level were allowed to wear those crazy outfits, but that was my way to dress for success. Soon after I decided my unique outfit I didn't feel the urge to train my hardest.

 

“I don't know but something in my past changed me.” I sat there in silence and he seemed to be paying attention to me. I was grateful. Many good friends had died in the war and I had drifted away from close friends long time ago. I barely remember the faces of my Genin team. We parted ways once they were made into Jounin and I was left in the dust.

 

“What would you be if you weren't a ninja?” I asked him quietly. It was now dark and I could barely see his eye.

 

“What would I be? I guess I would have been a writer.” He wasn't looking at me but looking at the dark sky in deep thought. “What kind of stories would you write? Don't tell me you'd write about the same things as Jiraiya-sama.” I just shook my head in disapproval.

 

“Maybe I would.” He smiled under his mask. It was hard to tell if he was joking or being serious. I guess they didn't call him a special ninja for nothing. Hatake Kakashi is one hard person to read.

 

“Come on we have a full day ahead of us. Let's go to sleep now.” He got up and walked towards the closet. Pulling out two futons he tossed it to the floor. I rolled out mine and sat on top of it for a moment. Unzipping my vest I placed it near my bag. I guess the outfit I wore under my Chuunin vest was a bit revealing. But I'm a ninja so I'm used to this type of thing.

 

I combed my hair looking absently into space. I wonder what Kakashi is thinking. He must think very little of me. I've been a Chuunin for how many years now? And I'm not going to grow anymore. I was a good candidate for Jounin back at the academy. When I finished combing my hair I noticed that Kakashi was on right side. I couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not.

 

“Kakashi-san?” I said not particularly loud. “Kakashi-san?” This time he stirred slightly. Walking closer to him I felt even I didn't know what I was doing. I kneeled beside him. “Hey are you awake?”

 

“What? What's wrong?” He sat up looking at me. Amazing he didn't even take off his mask or his head protector even when he's sleeping. “Hey I was just wondering what you thought of me.” I must have looked really weak and pathetic.

 

“You woke me up for that?” He didn't sound anger or annoyed more like indifferent as usual. “Yeah.” I realized at that moment how stupid that question was.

 

“Ok never mind. Sorry I disturbed you.” I started to get up, but I felt his hand take my wrist. I hadn't noticed but he did take off his gloves when he slept.

 

“Hm what do I think of you?” He had his other hand under his chin. Looking like he was thinking, I still didn't know if he was mocking me or taking me serious.

 

“You are a good ninja.” And he let go of my wrist gently but looked deeply into my eyes almost as if he were using his Sharingan to see into my soul. That may have sounded cheesy, but that's how I felt about the whole thing. “Thanks Kakashi-san.” I bowed slightly.

 

“Inoue, you don't have to be so polite. After all we're on the same team anyway.” He smiled for me again. “You better go back to sleep then.”

 

I nodded at him and went back to my bed and laid down. I slept quite good that night. Usually I never sleep that well, but having someone next to me felt good. His deep breathing was very calming to my ears. Unlike the deafening silence back at my apartment at night.

 

The next day Kakashi and I set off on our journey to that dress shop. I still was excited about working there. Maybe I should have been a dressmaker from the start. Maybe I wasn't cut out for this life as a ninja. Kakashi was silent most of the way there.

 

We only stopped to eat and rest when we were tired. Scratch that we only rested when I got tired. It's not like we were in a hurry to get to that place. We didn't run through trees as would one do when in a hurry. I haven't run through trees in a long time because none of my missions were pressing in time. Didn't I tell you? I have the boring missions that the Genin should be doing.

 

It's a wonder how I made it to the Chuunin level. The exam was hard since it was administered by that sadist Ibiki. I remember I was only about 12 years old. My team and I made it to the final battles. A long story short I was a Chuunin at a really young age. Then ten or more so years later I'm still where I started. Like I said maybe I'm not made out for the ninja life.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

His deep voice broke my chain of thought.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Ah come on you can tell Kakashi-kun.” He smiled at me. I could have sworn that he was flirting, but the famous copy ninja does not flirt! He wore a pretty eye smile towards me. That mask got me thinking.

 

“I was wondering what's under that mask of yours.” I imagined fish lips, or tiny lips, or what about buck teeth? Nah, it couldn't be right?

 

“What? That's what you were thinking about? But you looked so serious.” He was fooling around with me wasn't he? Still can't interpret his moods very well.

 

“Ah never mind.” I waved it off and started walking ahead of him. Truthfully I do wonder what's under that mask of his. Either way I still thought highly of Kakashi.

 

Kakashi didn't say anything after that. We walked mostly in silence and by the time we got to the village it was already dark. Most of the stores were closed, but that dress shop was still open. They were waiting for Kakashi and I to get there. From the surrounding of the village it didn't look like much of a dangerous place. It certainly didn't look like a place where S-rank missions were taking place.

 

“Looks can be deceiving. Remember that.” He said that almost as if he were reading my mind. Amazing. “Right, Kakashi.” I saluted him a little.

 

We entered the shop and there was a very old woman and her old husband standing beside her. “Hello you two must be the ninjas that we had requested.”

 

“My name is Hatake Kakashi and this is my comrade, Inoue.” We both bowed slightly. The old woman looked on us kindly while the old man was busy shutting down the store.

 

“My name is Shizuka, but you can call me ba-chan and that's my husband Kaoru but you should just call him ji-chan.” The old lady was pointing at her husband. “Kaoru, come and greet the ninjas.” The old man walked up to us. He didn't look very friendly. I suppose that they were the typical couple where they have the stern parent and the friendly one.

 

“I am Kaoru. Nice to meet you.” He bowed at us. We bowed again. “Shizuka I still don't know why we needed ninjas for this and what a price to pay for them too!” Shizuka scolded her husband. “Kaoru, not in front of our guest. Didn't you say that you wanted the best?”

 

“Yes, I did say that, but couldn't we have asked one of the village boys to help us out?” Kaoru was definitely the cheap realistic person in the relationship. “But do they know how to go undercover? Besides I requested special ninjas that know how to sew. So don't worry we won't be behind schedule.”

 

The conversation went back and forth for quite a while. Finally when the old man said that he needed to go the toilet the old lady noticed us standing there. Kakashi was silent through the whole thing.

 

“Ah you both must be tired. Please come up stairs. I have set up a room for you two. Kakashi-kun and Inoue-chan this way.” She walked ahead of us and led us to the room. It was weird being called `chan'; I haven't been called that since school.

 

She showed us to a rather large room partly because it was used for storing most of the fabrics too. It was cozy enough for Kakashi and me. There were large rolls of fabric stacked on the wall.

 

So that was our mission. It went by rather smoothly. You ever have that feeling where something is going to be great? And then you just keep building up expectations until finally before you know it, it's over and nothing as great happened. This was one of those times.

 

It turns out that the `thief' was just the first grandson of the old couple. He was stealing fabrics to create his own beautiful creation for his bride. The young man named after the grandfather, Kaoru didn't know what hit him when Kakashi had him pinned down. Poor young Kaoru he was still holding on to the fabric when Kakashi was on top of him.

 

As for me I had made many great pieces of garments. The old lady was very happy with my work and said that I was probably the best she ever had.

 

In the end everybody got their happy ending. Young Kaoru worked off his debt to his grandfather and was to be married to his young bride at the end of the month. Shizuka insisted that Kakashi stayed till then, but we had some place to go to. Truth was we didn't have any place to go to.

 

I seriously thought for a moment of leaving my ways of a ninja and become a real dress maker. I was sitting on the roof of the storehouse and looking at the latest garment that I made. Kakashi had appeared before me and sat down next to me.

 

“So this is where you were.” Throughout the mission Kakashi didn't seem so far away from me. In fact he was right there next to me most of the time. I was beginning to dread going back to the village because I wouldn't have Kakashi there to look out for me. Whenever I was around him I could feel at ease.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What are you doing?” He often asked what I was doing. I guess I must have been a mystery to him even though he was the mysterious one.

 

“Just doing the final touches.” I gently touched the white material of the piece. It was to be the bride's wedding kimono. I had taken extra care in sewing it. He gestured for it, I handed it to him. Kakashi held it up to the sky.

 

“You did a good job on this.” He handed back to the piece to me.

 

“I hope you come back to the village soon.” With that said he jumped off the roof and started to go inside.

 

I must have been put under some genjutsu because just then Kakashi told me to come back to the village. Well of course I was going to come back to it. Sure, I had decided that I would stay for a little bit to help out the store; it was a standard D-rank mission. Of course I couldn't stay there forever.

 

That night Kakashi had cornered me in our room. “So you're going to stay here until the wedding?”

 

I nodded slightly. I was tired from all the work I dead. Stepping into the futon, I laid my tired head on the pillow and closed my eyes.

 

“I'm going to miss you then.” He turned around and went back to his futon. I must have imagined that but I knew my hearing was perfectly fine.

 

Kakashi sure is a strange person. “I'm going to miss you too.” I said absentmindedly. Of course I was going to miss him. I would probably never get a chance to ever see him again. We lived in different worlds. He was a Jounin and I was just barely a Chuunin. I had a feeling that we would never ever work together again.

 

“You make it sound like we'll never see each other again.” His back was turned towards me.

 

“Isn't it true through?” I had my back towards him too, but I felt him turn around and look at me. “Why do you say that?” He was once again asking me questions.

 

“To be honest I'll probably never get to work with a special Jounin. I mean weren't you once an ANBU captain?” He was silent so I continued my rant. “Well I'm practically a drop-out. I barely made Chuunin back then.” He touched my shoulder.

 

I hadn't noticed, but somehow he had come closer to me during my little rant. “Weren't you a rookie taking that exam?” I nodded to him. “Then you must have some talent. I told you before, I think you're a great ninja.”

 

“You said I was only a good ninja.”

 

“I was mistaken. You're a great ninja.”

 

I turned and looked at him. Never once did I ever see his other eye. There was no need during our mission for him to reveal that red eye. This time he lifted his head protector, but his eye was still closed.

 

“You once wondered what was under my mask. Do you want to see?” Without giving me a chance to answer he pulled down his mask and revealed a perfect face.

 

Truthfully, I wanted to see what was under that mask. The atmosphere was all wrong somehow. Sure it was the cliché type of romance thing, but it felt very wrong somehow. He was reaching for his mask and I knew that he was going to pull down that mask. I reached out and grasped his hand and shook my head.

 

“It's ok. I'm kind of tired right now.” I went to our folded futons and pulled mine out. “I'm going to sleep right now.” Unrolling the futon I laid myself in it. I tried to avoid any eye contact with him. The whole thing was to say the least a bit strange. Thinking back on it, was he really going to show me his real face? Maybe he was playing with me and was only going to show a mask under a mask. It sounds like a lame thing that Kakashi would do.

 

The next day Kakashi went back to his indifferent self. I saw him off early in the morning. I told him to have a safe journey and he just nodded to me. He told me try my best and come back soon. I nodded, “Of course.”

 

So I stayed until the end of the month. I was truly quite happy just making those clothes. I should have been a dressmaker but at the same time I was quite happy with being a ninja most of the time. The danger and the excitement of the life was probably what made me stay. There's just so much excitement with sewing clothes.

 

One day as I was sewing a complicated top, I felt very homesick. I know that I had training in not being attached to anything, but I just wanted to go home. At the end of the month I left and bid farewell to the old couple. It was a few more days until I got back to the village. Although I did miss the village for some other strange reason or another I didn't want to see Kakashi. As if Kakashi would remember me at all.

 

When I got to my lonely apartment it was the same as before. I laid in my bed and closed my eyes for a moment. Somehow it was nice to come home to my own pillow. It was the middle of the afternoon but I knew that I would have to give in my report tomorrow morning.

 

I slept the whole night. The next day when I woke up I headed for the office. Today was going to be one of those days. It would be boring and redundant as always. It kind of sounds a little lonely. I dressed in my normal uniform; I didn't want to go through the trouble of putting on the fancy stuff.

 

When I got outside I saw a person waiting for me outside my apartment. “Yo.” It was Kakashi; he closed his book and put it away.

 

“What are you doing here?” I yawned rather loudly. Although I slept the whole night I was still quite tired. “We're supposed to submit the report together.”

 

“Huh?” That didn't make any sense at all. To be honest I was surprised that he wouldn't be acting cold towards me since that time. I did almost reject him; he sure was a strange person. “Well let's go then Inoue.”

 

We were walking towards the office. I was surprised because if we made it in time that meant that Kakashi would be on time.

 

“Kakashi and Inoue-san? What are you two doing? On a date?” It was a Jounin, Asuma. Sarutobi Asuma, he sure did look like a monkey like his name implied. Kakashi just feigned complete disinterest. I could feel my face turn slightly red.

 

“That's not it at all. We're just going to hand in our report together.” I tried to clear up the situation.

 

“Oh so that's it?” He pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. What a disgusting habit. “It's kind of surprising to find that you need two people to do a one person job.” Asuma just went on his way and not even letting us answer. Damn Asuma he sure was an annoying guy.

 

I stood there watching his back debating if I should go and knock some sense into him. “Inoue?”

 

“Hai.” I went to Kakashi. We handed in our report and I found out that I had no mission for that day. I had a week off. When we both got outside he asked me something.

 

“You want to practice together?”

 

I was surprised. I didn't know what to say. All I could think was that I would be holding him back. “No you shouldn't waste your time on me.”

 

“No I was thinking of taking a Genin level team if they pass my test.”

 

“You mean the bell test? That's tough Kakashi.” It truly was a hard test for just little kids.

 

“I use the bell test. You should practice more. I'm sure you'll be able to be a Jounin one day.” He smiled for me with his one eye. The curiosity from that day when he offered to show his face to me was still in my mind.

 

“Ok Kakashi. Just let me go home and change into my other clothes.” He nodded at me. “Ok don't be late then.” Kakashi disappeared into smoke. “That's your job.” I knew he heard me.

 

Since that time we trained almost every morning and every night. He was relentless and merciless teacher. He taught me all the hard things that I thought I could never master. Still I had to admit that he was much better than I in many things. I think I might have grown stronger but it's hard to tell when I never get to perform any missions.

 

Then one day as I was getting ready to lean against I tree, Kakashi appeared behind me and I leaned into him. “Kakashi?” This was the first time we made any contact other than violent actions. “What are you doing?”

 

“Nothing.” He leaned into my neck. The warm material on his mask was touching my face. “Kakashi.” I reached up and touched him slightly on the cheek.

 

There had been signs of an attraction I'll admit that, but I thought it was mostly one sided because he always acted indifferent. He sure is a mystery even to me.

 

We sat like that for a long moment. The sun was gone for the day. Summer was almost over because the sun started setting early.

 

“Kakashi.” He didn't move. “Mm?”

 

“What is your favourite colour?” I asked him because I don't know him.

 

“Green, why?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Oh ok.”

 

Truth was it really was nothing at the time. I wanted to ask him so many things because no one in the village could read him very well. We sat there and didn't talk at all. That was what our relationship was like. It went on until early fall.

 

The next day I laid in my bed, not wanting to move. I knew that Kakashi had some sort of duel with his eternal rival Gai. I like Gai a lot; he's definitely not a boring guy to be around. When I told him I thought Gai was pretty interesting I swear Kakashi got a little jealous. I noticed that his eye brow quirked a little and his eye turned serious for a moment and then turned back to normal. But of course I told Kakashi that Gai although very interesting wasn't my type of guy.

 

“What kind of guy do you like?”

 

“Hm…that's a tough question. I guess I like the aloof kind. You know the ones that have weird fetishes for masks and dirty books.” Of course I was talking about him. “Oh?” He was looking at me. At this time I still hadn't seen his face. I wanted to ask but I couldn't bring myself to. I asked him something else. “Why do you read that book over and over?”

 

“Well I'm just not the unfaithful type that's all.”

 

When he told me that I told him I was feeling kind of sick and wanted to go home. He took me home and I told him good night. There was something very sick about those words. What did he mean? Was he serious? I could never tell if he's ever serious.

 

I got ready for bed and then laid on my pillow. I wonder what Kakashi's apartment looks like. I've never been there before. The relationship we had was definitely an awkward one at best. In many ways our relationship reminded me of Kakashi's personality. Completely unpredictable, unreadable, and nothing much to expect from it. How deep did his feelings go for me?

 

Times of incredible doubt like this I tend to sew. I had started to sew Kakashi a green quilt with black ninja stars as decoration. This would be a good excuse to go to his house and lay it down on his bed and in doing so I would see his place. Maybe I was really growing as a ninja.

 

The third even called me for a private meeting and asked me if I wanted to take the Jounin exam. I kept it a secret from Kakashi, but I think he might have known something was up. There were hardly any secrets between him and me.

 

I was going to surprise Kakashi by taking the exam in secret. When they do the Jounin exam it's always classified anyway. I was at my apartment doing packing some of my belongings for the long exam.

 

This time the third had decided that he wanted to have the exam in a secret area called Mori Fukai. What can I say? I don't know much about that place. I think I might have heard about it in a textbook once.

 

I think I've changed a lot since the first time I met Kakashi. There's been this question that's been plaguing my mind for quite a while. I think I'll know the answer when I complete the Jounin exam. Like the Chuunin exam even if one passes all the tests that doesn't make them Chuunin. I'll have to pull out all my jutsus I haven't used in a while. I have to have some secrets. A ninja never reveals all ones moves to another even if they are comrades.

 

The next morning I woke up and I saw Kakashi staring up at me. “Kakashi? What are you doing here?” He just smiled his eye smile at me.

 

“I've come to take you to the exam.”

 

“What? I was going to surprise you.”

 

“Well how do you think you got this nomination?”

 

That's right possible Jounin candidate must be nominated by a Jounin in good standing. I didn't know that he would go out this far for me.

 

“Thank you I guess.”

 

“You're welcome.” He just smiled at me. “I'll have breakfast ready when you finish getting dressed.”

 

I just yawned and nodded at him. “Thanks.”

 

I got dressed and ate the breakfast that he had laid out for me. He just stood there watching over me like some parent or something.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

What is up with him and that question? “Nothing.”

 

“But?”

 

“But what?”

 

“You're thinking about nothing but…?”

 

Am I that easy to read? “I was thinking about the exam that's all.”

 

“Don't be scared you'll pass. After all why else would I nominate you?” He just folded his arms looking smug like usual.

 

“You know when I finish this exam I think I'll find some answers to some things.”

 

Kakashi kneeled beside me. “Answers to what?” Did he have to kneel so close to me? I think I can feel his body heat next to my arm.

 

“Some things.”

 

“You know I really worry about you.” Kakashi got up and turned away from me. “Maybe it's because I was your teacher that's what makes me worried.”

 

“Worried? I'm a grown woman you don't have to worry about me.” I was slightly touched that he thought about me.

 

“Yeah I know. But if your heart isn't in it you just won't live up to your potential.” His voice was very gentle.

 

“What do you mean by that?” I stood up and walked over to him. I touched his shoulder. “What are you talking about?”

 

He turned and looked at me. His eye was pleading with me or something. Something I had never seen in his eye was there at that moment. I slowly reached over for his mask, but he beat me to it and he pulled it down for me.

 

“I'm really worried about you.” He pulled off his head protector; his Sharingan eye closed. “Really Kakashi you don't have to worry about me.”

 

“Yes I do.” He pulled me closer to him. “I'm always worried about you.”

 

I slowly brought my head to look up to his eye. What I wouldn't give to see him, just him without the Sharingan.

 

“Kakashi you're being really weird.” I touched his pale skin. Years of having his lower face not exposed to sunlight made it extra pale. “Weird Kakashi.” I smiled at him and he looked at me sadly.

 

“I guess I am weird.” He pulled my chin closer to his face.

 

We kissed. It was a light kiss and it didn't really mean anything. We pulled away and he we just stood there hugging each other.

 

“What next?” I asked him. “I don't know.” He just hugged me tighter. “I really don't know.”

 

I asked because I didn't even know what he wanted from me. In fact I didn't know what I wanted from him. Yes, I was attracted to him and I think he's attracted to me but what else do I know?

 

I didn't want to but I broke away from his arms and he let go of me reluctantly. “I better get going. You don't have to take me there.”

 

“I'll walk you to the gates.” He turned back to his indifferent self. A piece of me was crushed to find him back to his self, but isn't that what made me fall in love with him the first place? No, who I fell in love with wasn't the indifferent Kakashi but the man behind the mask (what a bad pun).

 

“Do what you like.” I gathered my things and left my apartment.

 

We walked in silence. He had his hands in his pockets, thankfully he wasn't reading that perverted book. I think he felt it was the end of whatever we had, so he better just take what was left of it.

 

I wanted to reach out and take his hand, but I was scared. There were many times when I wanted to reach out and touch his hand. I never could.

 

I think I have my answer about that question.

 

I grabbed his hand with as much power as I could muster. He held back to me as well. We were holding hands and he didn't even look at me. IT was as if this was meant to happen. I didn't look down at our hands either.

 

We were walking for a good ten minutes until we reached the edge of town. It would have been logical to run the rest of the way, but then we wouldn't be able to hold hands. He didn't move or anything we just continued walking, therefore taking the long way to the exam. I was with Hatake Kakashi, it's expected that I be late whenever I'm with him.

 

It is expected that I be late whenever I'm with him. Late. I'm very late in life. I'm late in finding what I want, what I truly want.

 

I finished sewing that quilt I made for Kakashi. I was going to give it to him at the end of the exam, but any time is as good as any. When we got to the gates of the exam arena, I stopped in front of him.

 

“Hm?” His eye widened just slightly. I think it was because I let go of his hand so quickly.

 

With a few hand signs I made something materialize out of smoke. “Here.” I handed him the bundle. It was the green quilt with the black ninja stars on it. “This is for every thing you've done. Thank you.” I bowed to him. “Thank you very much Kakashi.” He took the bundle from my hands.

 

“Anyway I'm off now.” I saluted to him. “Yeah, good luck.” Those words he said felt very final.

 

After that I had the exam. It was a tough one, but somehow I managed to pass.

 

Inoue, the Jounin ninja girl that sort of fell in love with Kakashi, that's who I am.

 

What happened after I passed the exam? I left the village. I went back to that old lady, Shizuka and her husband Kaoru.

 

That's right I upped and packed everything I had and left the next morning. I didn't even attend the ceremony that was being held for all the newly appointed Jounins.

 

That night it was pretty sad. I think I saw Iruka standing outside my building. He was looking at me with his brown eyes. Iruka sort of reminds me of a lost puppy. I just smiled and greeted him.

 

“Hey congratulations on becoming a Jounin.”

 

“Thanks Iruka.” I moved to go up to my apartment.

 

“Hey I just wanted to tell you that I think you really look good in that outfit.”

 

I looked down at my `serious' ninja outfit. I just smiled. Even more reason to pursue my real dream.

 

“Thanks Iruka. I made it myself.”

 

He looked surprised, but he shouldn't have because he should know that I have a specialty in sewing. “You look really good.” There was an awkward pause. “Hey let's go out and celebrate your promotion.” I just shook my head. “No, I'm pretty tired from today.”

 

“Why? The ceremony isn't till tomorrow.”

 

I just laughed a little. “I guess I'm just tired from the whole exam thing.”

 

Hitting his head lightly, he smiled at me. “Right what an idiot. Well do you want to go out tomorrow night?”

 

I smiled at him. Yeah, sure. “Yeah, sure why not?” Another pause as he looked on my indifferent face. “How about you pick me up after the ceremony? I'll be waiting at my house.”

 

“That sounds good. So about 8 then?”

 

“You better make it 7 because I'm going to skip out on the boring stuff.” There's no sense in making him wait because I wouldn't be there tomorrow night.

 

That night I wrote a note and placed it in my sketch book. Kakashi saw me carrying around that book many times during our mission and our exercise training. I wrapped up the note book and dumped it in the mailbox that was down the block. I also wrote an anonymous letter to Iruka. I just told him that I just don't see him in that way. I also told Iruka to do his best as a teacher. `We need more teachers like you at the academy.'

 

I looked back at the village one more time. I wasn't necessarily running away because the third knew about my real passion in life. He pulled me aside at the end of the exam. The third noticed the look on my face.

 

“What do you really want?”

 

Images of a happy mask-less Kakashi popped in mind, sewing, designing kimonos, living a peaceful life that's what came to me.

 

The third just looked at my face and already knew the answer to that question.

 

“I, the third Hokage give you permission to leave the village. Think of it as your continuing training.” He smiled at me and I left him.

 

I never cried and leaving the village won't make me cry either. Seeing his face would make me cry. He has a talent of appearing when I least want him to.

 

Hatake Kakashi appeared before me like a ghost in the night. He didn't say anything to me. He just stood there and I could barely see him because the moon wasn't out. Somehow he knew which direction I was heading. We just stood there looking at each other.

 

I wasn't going to break the silence because most of our relationship has been kept in silence. His feelings for me, if any, were always in silence and I never really told him how I felt. We just stood there in complete silence. What felt like a good twenty minutes I realized that this was a waste of my time.

 

“I would have said no.” I said as I walked past him. I didn't know what he was going to ask me but I knew the answer would have been no.

 

He didn't move from his spot. “I would have said no too.” Kakashi said in his serious voice.

 

I stopped in my tracks and just waited for him to say something to me. I heard him come closer to me. His arm rested on my shoulder. “Inoue.” He turned me around and I could feel my vision blurring from the newly formed tears.

 

“Kakashi.” I felt my eyes getting really warm and I wiped away my tears. Pulling down his mask, he leaned in and gave me one last kiss on the mouth.

 

“Good luck.” He hugged me tightly. I didn't know why but I held him just as tightly.

 

I didn't know why I was doing this. I didn't know why things were happening this way. I did know that I had a choice as to what was going to happen to my life. But somehow this separation felt so right. Everything for the first time in my life felt just right.

 

Kakashi must have known from the start. He must have seen my face when I sewed that first kimono. Seeing my face like that, that must be why he's letting me go.

 

When we both let go Kakashi just turned away from me. I walked into the silence, not looking back because I knew that he wouldn't be looking at me. We walked away from each other and away from the silence of our love.

 

A ninja must see what's underneath the underneath. He read me perfectly, as expected from a ninja like Kakashi.

 

When I got to that village and Shizuka and Kaoru were there they were so happy to see me.

 

“I always wanted a daughter.” Kaoru told me later when we were alone. I just smiled at him. That's right Shizuka and Kaoru only had boys in the family and they only had boys as well. The sons' wives were never really good at sewing. I guess I was their daughter in some sense of the word.

 

I stayed there. The last I heard from the village I heard that Kakashi finally passed a Genin team and he was currently their teacher. I don't think about him at all. I feel kind of bad because I thought I loved him.

 

Love it's a funny thing; don't forget that.

 

We were silent and I left in silence. It sounds about right. Who knew that a girl like me would have an ending like this?

 

Dear Kakashi,

You asked me what I was thinking about…

My answer: you don't need to follow another's dream to be happy. I never really needed anyone, but my own dream. Good bye Kakashi and thanks for everything.

 

FIN

 

By Meryl Lee

 

AN: Please leave a review. Anything the reader has to offer is greatly appreciated. The issue of Kakashi's past love life has always plagued me. Here is one of my attempts at writing about his love.