Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Curative Career of Kaori the Ninja Nurse ❯ Stalking - Shinobi Style ( Chapter 26 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Stalking - Shinobi Style

“I can't believe it. I just can't believe it,” moaned the Obito voice.

“Believe it,” replied the voice's host. Kakashi sighed as he lay on his bed looking up at the blank ceiling. He had just returned from his guard duty at the museum.

“There's no way that pretty little nurse prefers Raidou over us. Just look at his face!”

“Do you know what's the difference between being scarred and showing it and not being scarred and hiding it?” said Kakashi thoughtfully.

“Umm, is that a rhetorical question?”

“Do you know what rhetorical means?”

“Er, not really.”

“Sigh.”

“So stop wearing your mask! She'll go back to you in no time. Never understood why you have that fixation in the first place.”

“It's a family custom.”

“Family of weirdoes!”

“Idiot! The answer to the question is…”

“I thought rhetorical means there's no answer.”

“Sigh. Not exactly. It means…what I mean to say is she prefers him, period, okay?”

“But look at his face!”

“Apparently she's not as shallow as the women you prefer. Besides, you're one to talk.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” The Obito voice sounded angry now.

“Let's face it. You never got compliments on your looks.”

“What? Rin once said I was cute.”

“She said that to bugs, too.” Kakashi smiled a bit while reminiscing about his past comrades.

“Okay, that's it! I was going to help you with that nurse, but now you can just forget it!”

“I don't need your help.”

“Oh, yes, you do!”

“Just forget it.”

“Forget it? No way! Now it's a matter of pride. You have to win her away.” Somehow Obito just did a 360.

“What I need is a low stress distraction,” Kakashi mumbled.

“Oh? Like what?”

“Let's go see `Make Out Violence' again...”

After washing up a bit and eating a quick dinner, Kakashi headed over to the movie theater. He had seen “Make-Out Violence” five times already, but it was his favorite movie next to “Make-Out Paradise.” He couldn't wait until the DVD special edition came out.

Kakashi walked with his usual slow saunter as the Obito voice continued to whine in the background.

“I don't wanna see that movie again! I wanna real woman. One we can touch. Okay, forget the nurse. Anyone one will do. Let's go to Otafuka, you got paid last week, right?”

But Kakashi was in no mood for another meaningless one night stand. The events of the previous night still disturbed him. He did not want to admit to himself that any woman could so easily forget about him and move on to someone else. Despite his apparent nonchalance, he still had a very stubborn, very arrogant streak inherent within him. His pride could not so easily let it go.

A block away from the theater, Kakashi's sharp eagle-eye vision spied the pretty little nurse with her new beau. Her hand clung to his arm and surprisingly, she stood on Raidou's left side.

Part of Kakashi told him to turn around and go home, but the less rational Obito part insisted on following them. Kakashi gave in to Obito's wishes and transformed himself into a generic looking villager with plain grey robes. With his superior hearing and eyesight, he saw them buy a ticket to the new “Gone with the Wind” movie. It wasn't his sort of movie as it was only rated PG-13, but he bought a ticket and entered the theater, carefully walking far enough behind them so they wouldn't notice him.

He was curious to see what Kaori saw in Raidou, who was as exciting as a plank of wood and about as much fun as removing a splinter from under a nail. Was he the kind of man she wanted? Serious, responsible, he would make a good provider, Kakashi had to admit.

He sat in the back row where he could see Kaori and Raidou sitting five rows in front of him. The theater was quite crowded since it was a recent movie, but there was no mistaking the two of them with Raidou's spiky hair and Kaori's characteristic bun. He could see Kaori crying at all the tearjerker scenes no matter how cliché and shameless. She used up all her tissues so Raidou lent her a handkerchief (it was actually cut from bandages). `How prosaic,' Kakashi thought. He also saw Raidou giving Kaori sidelong glances throughout the movie as if to assure himself that she was still with him.

Halfway through the movie Kakashi observed Raidou trying to make the classic move - a yawn and stretch to put his arm around Kaori's shoulders. Kakashi picked up a piece of popcorn from the floor, angled it so that the trajectory could not be traced back to him, and threw it at Raidou's head.

Interrupted, Raidou abandoned his attempt to look around for the culprit. Kakashi, sitting in the back and looking innocent, hardly seemed like a likely candidate compared to some of the rowdy teenagers. Raidou frowned and glared warningly at all the younger folks. Each time Raidou made an attempt to put his arm around Kaori, Kakashi would throw something he picked up from the ground like popcorn, Jujubes, peanuts, Good and Plenty, and other candy. Each time Raidou abandoned his attempt to knock away the projectory before it hit him. Each time he glared at the suspicious characters. But he did not want to make a scene in front of Kaori so after several attempts, he gave up, to Kakashi's satisfaction.

The movie was a nice dramatic romance though there were parts that could use some more oomph, not nearly as good as “Make-Out Violence” Kakashi evaluated, though the lead female was definitely doable. He knew he hadn't read the book before, but parts of the movie seemed very familiar. Kakashi couldn't place the déjà vu feeling. The ending was classically tragic with the male lead dying in sacrifice for his love and the female lead crying piteously over his body.

`Who would cry for me?' he thought. There were a few who would shed some tears, but no one would cry for him like that - a heart rending anguish cry of the deepest grief. No, no one at all.

The credits rolled before he knew it and he had to admit the movie was better than he had expected. It did not have the humor of the “Make-Out” movies but the chemistry and emotions portrayed by the characters seemed genuine.

His targets filed out with the rest of the audience. Kakashi stayed behind, thinking about his next step.

So what was he doing? Stalking a woman who no longer wanted him? Pursuing a relationship that never existed? And if he had her alone to himself what would he say? That he was wrong for treating her so poorly after all she had done for him? That he was a first class idiot? And even if she still wanted him, what would be the point? There would be no happily ever after. If anything, he'd end up like the protagonist in the movie he just saw, and she'd be crying over his body. He did not want anyone crying over him like that. It was better to die unloved than to hurt the ones you loved.

His serious musings was interrupted by the Obito voice who chimed in, `What's the matter with you? They're getting away. Move it!'

Despite his misgivings he transformed into a buxom platinum blonde with red eyes and a short yellow dress - so short, his long silvery white hair touched the hem.

`Oooo, nice,”' said the Obito voice.

`Naruto's influence,' Kakashi replied wryly. He wasn't sure why he chose that look, but he wanted to attract attention this time. And should he need his sharingan, the red eyes would mask it. After a second thought, he reduced the size of the bust to a respectable 36C, bigger than Kaori, but not too big to look like a skank, and shortened the hair to waist length.

He followed the unsuspecting couple to the most expensive restaurant in town - a hibachi steakhouse with the finest cuts of beef and expensive bottles of sake. Kakashi winced at the thought of how much it would cost him for a single drink, but he purposefully entered the restaurant and sat down at the bar.

He need not have worried about the cost as several single men eyed him immediately. The boldest, a tall well built dark haired man, came up to hit on him first. “Hey honey, love your dress. How `bout I join you or you join me for a drink?” he slurred.

Kakashi's transformed rosy lips curled in a seductive smile and he nodded his approval, but as soon as he got his little bottle of expensive sake, he subtly hypnotized Asuma to leave him alone. `Thought he was with Kurenai. Wait till I tell her about this. No, I'll hold it over him instead.` More men came up to him, but he hypnotized them all to go away, though he did have a passing thought about a particularly handsome young blonde man.

He observed Raidou and Kaori drinking sake and talking. He had the ability to read lips and he could concentrate chakra to his ears to sensitize his hearing. Kakashi decided on the latter as he did not what anyone to notice he was staring at the couple. He slowly nursed his drink as he eavesdropped.

“That was a good movie wasn't it?” Raidou asked.

“Yes, I've read the book.”

“Was it a faithful adaptation?”

“The main storyline was the same, but there were more subplots and detours in the book, of course.”

“So is that the type of movie you like?”

“You mean romance? Yes, I guess so, but I like all types,” Kaori hastily added in case Raidou was put off by chick flicks. “What about you?”

“Documentaries mostly - it's always good to learn something. I don't usually read or watch fiction, sort of a waste of time, in my opinion. But, er, this was a nice change,” Raidou quickly added so he wouldn't seem too stuffy.

Kakashi yawned. Raidou had the personality of a piece of chalk. `Documentaries, imagine that, as if facing real life every minute of the day wasn't enough. How could anyone not escape into fantasy?'

The small talk continued as Kaori feigned interest in documentaries and Raidou feigned interest in romantic fiction and as Kakashi listened in, getting more bored by the second. Kaori definitely seemed more interesting before. He wondered if he were remembering things incorrectly. After all, when one got down to it, there were women better looking (himself included), with better bodies, smarter, with better wit, more interesting and exciting. So why was he sitting in a bar looking like he wanted to be picked up by a man? Maybe it was something subliminal. He wondered what she did to him while he was unconscious.

Still he stayed and when the couple left, he transformed again, this time to a young boy of eight. He followed them to Kaori's apartment. The trick in stalking, shinobi-style, was repeated transformations, but not to the same generic looking type individuals - to a shinobi that could be suspicious. The best thing to do was to alternate from someone quiet to someone who stood out. Now as the little boy, Kakashi picked up a stick and some stones from the ground. He threw a stone in the air, then hit it with a stick. Thanks to his expert eye and reflexes, the stone hit Raidou squarely in the back of the head. Or it would have, but Raidou was no slouch and he caught the stone in his right hand before it made contact.

Boy Kakashi looked scared and quickly said, “Sorry mister, didn't mean to do that!” He ran away and hid behind a tree.

“Kids today have no respect,” grumbled Raidou angrily.

“He was just playing around. It was an accidental. He didn't mean to hurt you,” Kaori said in defense of the boy.

Raidou frowned and forced himself not to argue. The little nurse was too nice and naïve. These kids were future shinobi, future killing machines. He was sure that kid did it on purpose to test him.

Kakashi waited outside Kaori's building, timing how long it would take Raidou to come out. A simple good-bye at the door shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes. A nightcap would be another half hour to an hour. Anything more than that was cause for concern.

Raidou came out in about five minutes, looking none too pleased, but that was his usual look.

A platinum blonde with an ideal bust sidled up to the lonely scarred jounin. “Hey mister, I noticed you at the restaurant. How `bout you lose the pseudo redhead and come with me.” Kakashi smiled seductively.

`A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,' Raidou instinctively thought, but then shook off such unfaithful considerations. He was with Kaori now, and he would wait, even though it had been a while. “Sorry, miss, thank you for the offer, maybe another time.”

“Suit yourself. You don't know what you're missing. You know, I can be very discreet.” Kakashi gave him a wink, leaned in closer, and slightly jiggled his transformed chest.

What man could resist something like that?

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