Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Curative Career of Kaori the Ninja Nurse ❯ Kaori's Dilemma ( Chapter 29 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Kaori's Dilemma

Was it better to love or be loved? One feeling was full of excitement and pain, the other of security and comfort. She had had enough of the latter; after all, in the end, it was not enough and she was still alone. And yet if the other option were not mutual, the result would be the same.

What to do, what to do? Accept Raidou's proposal or continue to pine after Kakashi? It was something she could not resolve independently. After agonizing over her decision, Kaori reluctantly decided to seek advice from external sources.

First she consulted her sister. Sumire always had a good head on her shoulders. She was reasonable and calm, not biased, and not crazy like their mother. After work, Kaori walked over to her house, planning to speak to her without the presence of their mother's prying ears.

Sumire and her family lived near the center of town in a three bedroom apartment on top of the beauty salon run by their mother. It wasn't because they couldn't afford a house, but because they wanted to be near the stores, schools and work. With three kids it was just too difficult to get around.

It was just before dinner, when Kaori knew their mother had closed up shop and returned to her own abode. Sumire was surprised to see her sister at her front door since Kaori rarely visited Sumire directly. They were both so busy and it was easier for Kaori to see everyone at once during their biweekly dinners. Sumire immediately deduced something was wrong. Kaori looked tired, defeated, as if a life changing, crushing dilemma was bearing down on her thin shoulders. It had to be men problems for Kaori to be unable to handle the situation.

Sumire knew that at work, her older sister was decisive and confident. With men, she wavered and faltered. Kaori could never decide whether she liked someone enough, whether they were good enough, for a long term relationship. Even worse was her indecision and inability to end a relationship even when it was obvious she was no longer interested. It would take some great faux pas on the man's part in order for Kaori to lose her temper and drop them like a hot kunai.

With the baby tucked in one arm, Sumire held the door open to allow Kaori to enter and waited patiently for her sister to explain herself.

“So, er, how's the kids,” Kaori asked, thinking about how to broach the subject of her troubled love life.

“They're fine. We're all fine. So what brings you here on a work day?” Sumire had no time to beat around the bush. The baby was fussing again. He squirmed in her arms and whined plaintively to be fed. The other kids could be heard arguing from the back bedroom, fighting over their hokage action figures.

“I, umm, haven't been exactly truthful lately about my relationships,“ Kaori started to say.

Sumire just nodded, not surprised. Her sister was honest in most things, but when it came to confronting their mother about her single status, the pressure was bound to get to her. She walked into the kitchen while Kaori followed.

“It all started when Hatake Kakashi was brought in unconscious,” Kaori sighed at the memory of Gai with Kakashi slumped over his shoulders. “I sort of fell in love with him while I cared for him,” she reluctantly admitted, then blushed when she recalled how she read Icha Icha books to her coma patient. “When you met him at dinner, he was doing it to return a favor I did him.” Kaori didn't mention the blackmail part or the part about forcing him to recall facts about their fake relationship. “Then we were supposed to go on a real date and he invited me to the hot springs, but he stood me up. I thought he was out with the ramen girl so I broke it off with him, and went out with Namiashi Raidou. But then I found out the ramen girl was going out with Iruka sensei, but then it was too late, but I think I'm still in love with him, but Raidou just proposed to me and now I don't know what to do!” It all came tumbling out, almost incoherently, but Sumire was smart enough to figure it out despite Kaori's manic speech.

She asked the most obvious question, “Is Kakashi sensei interested in you or not?” She balanced the baby on one arm and took out a bottle of milk from the refrigerator.

Kaori frowned and shrugged her shoulders. “I'm not sure. That's the crux of the problem. He didn't seem to be at first, but then when I went out with Raidou we ran into him and he started interfering with our date and I had to tell him off.” Kaori hung her head. “I'm such an idiot!”

“Have you seen him since?” asked Sumire calmly, ignoring Kaori's side ramblings. She poured some hot water from a thermos into a mug and placed the bottle of milk in it to warm it up.

“I ran into him a few days ago, but we didn't say anything to each other, but he wasn't mad at me or anything,” Kaori quickly added.

“So tell me about Raidou-san.” Sumire noticed most of Kaori's ramblings was about Kakashi. But there must be something about Raidou she liked or she wouldn't be having such a hard time.

“He's okay. We've only been out a couple of times. He was recently injured and now he thinks I'm perfect for him.” Kaori took the bottle of milk and dripped a bit on her wrist to check the temperature. She placed it back into the warm water.

“So what's wrong with him?” asked Sumire, knowing that Kaori would find flaws.

“Well…he's just too serious,” Kaori said. She did not want to mention his scarred face yet.

“What's wrong with that?” Sumire could not wait any longer for the milk to warm up. She stuck the bottle into the crying baby's mouth. How she wished her sister would offer to take the baby from her, but Kaori was too involved in her own problems.

“My job is depressing enough as it is. I need someone with a sense of humor.”

“Gai sensei was pretty funny,” Sumire laughed at the memory of Gai and the turkey.

“But that was unintentional. I want someone with a good wry sense of humor.”

“Is that the only problem?” Sumire carried the baby into the living and looked for a clear place on the sofa to sit.

“Well, he doesn't smile or laugh much at all.” Kaori started to pace in front of her sister.

“Maybe you can make him smile,” Sumire suggested. But in all honesty she didn't think her serious minded sister would be much fun.

Kaori shrugged at the suggestion and continued pacing and thinking.

“So why are you even considering his proposal?”

“Because…” She shrugged again. Kaori didn't want to say she was desperate to be married.

“The way I see it, mom's pressure has gotten to you. You don't want to marry a guy you don't love, but you don't have a relationship with the guy you do like. Just wait for the right one to come along. You still have time.” In actuality, Sumire thought how the older you got the more difficult it would be to deal with kids.

“But what if the perfect guy never comes along?”

“He doesn't have to be perfect. He just has to have mutual feelings for you and vice versa.”

“Sigh, you're no help at all.” Kaori sat down on the sofa next to Sumire in defeat. A squeak came from under her bottom. She reached under and pulled out a rubber frog covered in drool. She quickly dropped it on the floor and wiped her hands on her nurse's skirt.

“Well, in that case, don't ask yourself whether you can love Raidou, just take it easy and let things develop. Don't analyze and judge every action. As for Kakashi, quite honestly, his behavior at dinner was…appalling. Either he was being obnoxious on purpose, or he's just an insensitive jerk. But if you still want him, just swallow your pride and tell him. Honestly though, I think you should give Raidou more of a chance,” Sumire said impatiently. She was tired of telling Kaori the same thing every time she had a romantic crisis. Kaori never listened anyway and Sumire had more important things to attend to, like dinner for her family. “So, would you like to stay for dinner?” she asked more kindly, now feeling sorry for Kaori who only had an empty apartment to return to.

Kaori shook her head. Dinner with Sumire's family usually meant sitting through lots of yelling and screaming, spilt drinks and flying food.

And Sumire's suggestion, about staying with Raidou, was not what Kaori wanted to hear at all.

-…-…-…-…-

The next consult was with her friend Shizune whom Kaori saw for lunch the next day at the hospital. Shizune happened to be between missions and was staying in town since Tsunade required her advice because of recent the developments with the Sound and Sasuke.

The two women settled their trays on a small table by the cafeteria window. The room was nearly empty as they were having a late lunch. That also meant there wasn't much of a lunch selection and they had to settle for what other patrons did not want.

First they engaged in the usual small talk about their work and difficulties dealing with subordinates (in Kaori's case it was Otoha) and superiors (in Shizune's case it was Tsunade). Then Kaori not so subtly led Shizune into a discussion about Raidou vs. Kakashi.

“Do you mind if I ask how things are going with you and Genma?” Kaori wisely broached the subject through discussing Shizune's relationship first.

“Oh, no, that's fine. In fact, I'm glad to have someone to talk to. Umm, things are not really going anywhere. I don't know…he hasn't made any moves, but I haven't really encouraged him either. We only went out a few times before our mission together and we had to be professional during the mission. Then he was injured so…I wanted to let him know how much I cared, but Raidou was in the same room. But then again I'm not sure what I should be doing to let him know that I want to… you know.” She blushed and played with remnants of her soggy yakisoba noodles.

Kaori was actually not that interested in Shizune's relationship with Genma at this point. She only asked to be politely curious. She did not want to give advice considering her own love life was a mess, but the proud authoritative side of her liked giving advice. “You mean you like him and you want him to know it?”

Shizune nodded and blushed again.

“You could try dressing more…revealing, tighter, but tasteful. Sit closer, lean in closer, smile a lot, that sort of thing. Take his arm when you walk around. Shouldn't be too difficult for him to get the message. All men are dogs.” Kaori muttered the last part with a sigh.

“Huh?” asked Shizune innocently. Although she was experienced in terms of beating up men, she was inexperienced in terms of dating them.

“I mean, you'll definitely know if he's interested once he knows you are. Anyway, I have something I need your help with…” Kaori again launched into an abbreviated and censored version of her non-relationship with Kakashi and Raidou's proposal. “So what do you think?”

“Me? Well, I can't really…” Shizune stammered. She felt she was the last person to give any romantic advice.

But Kaori pressed her, “You know the two of them. Who do you think is better? Who would you rather have?” Kaori unconsciously stabbed her uneaten dry chicken breast with her fork.

“Well, I…I'm not you but…let's see. Hmm, well, I think they're both really nice. But…Kakashi-san is not very…Well, I don't know him very well, but he's kind of …strange. Raidou-san is a good person. I think I learned a lot about him during our mission together. I think he's the better choice in the long run. He's dependable and responsible, intelligent…”

“And serious,” added Kaori with a sigh.

Shizune nodded, “And serious. Is that the problem?”

Kaori shrugged, then nodded.

“What's wrong with that? You're a serious person, too. So am I, and Hokage-sama, and Genma-san and…”

“But not all the time right?”

“Well, Raidou-san is not always serious. He smiled and laughed a few times at some things Genma-san said about Tsunade-sama's age and appearance.” Shizune smile and recalled how Genma had said that in Tsunade's case, diligence and diplomacy had been sacrificed for beauty and bosom. “And conversely, Kakashi-san seems rarely serious. That could be a problem too based on your personality.”

“What do you by that?” asked Kaori defensively.

“You're quite a serious person, don't you think? You don't smile and laugh and make jokes that often, do you? When you do smile, isn't it to be professional rather than because you're happy or thinking of something amusing? No offense, but I remember when we were kids and while the rest of us were running around laughing and playing, you were ordering us to follow the rules of the game. I think Kakashi-sensei would probably aggravate you once the initial infatuation wears off.” Shizune hadn't meant to say so much, but in all honesty, she wanted Kaori to be with Raidou, that way she would have a closer friend. If things became serious with Genma, and his best friend Raidou was with her friend Kaori, why they could be one big happy not too dysfunctional family.

But Kaori was not thinking along those lines. She was annoyed that her friend had unexpectedly summed up her personality with great insight.

And that was not what Kaori wanted to hear at all.

-…-…-…-

Instead of listening to her two consults, Kaori resorted to consulting with her nemesis Otoha. This was practically her last resort. Otoha always seemed happy or at least pleased with herself or her men, but she did not seem to have any intention of being permanently bound to a man. Maybe, at the sacrifice of Kaori's private life for public fodder, she could offer some insight.

So it was with great hesitation that Kaori casually asked, “Um, so how are things going with Gai sensei?” Kaori did not look at Otoha as she said this, but pretended to be going over some files.

Otoha perked up at the question. She had been bored with filing her already perfect nails, but now she stopped and smiled. “Great, but I think I'm ready to move on. I don't think my body can take much more…”

“There's more to a relationship than that.”

Otoha shrugged in response. “He's exciting, nice and generous, I guess, quite a good catch for anyone who doesn't want a boring, predictable marriage.”

“Well, umm, what do you think of Raidou-san and Kakashi-san?

Upon hearing those two names, which she knew were Kaori's latest men's, Otoha sat straight up. She immediately deduced that Kaori wanted advice from her, Konoha's resident expert on men. “Ah, Kaori-san, are you asking for advice from little o' me? Why what would I know about men? I thought you were the expert. After all, I only date your leftovers,” Otoha said snidely.

Blood rushed to Kaori's head, half in anger, half in embarrassment. The veins at both temples throbbed convulsively. She said nothing in reply but the poor manila envelope she was holding was suddenly ripped in two.

Seeing that she made her point to her know-it-all boss, Otoha returned to her casual conversation mode and asked “So who's better in bed?”

“What? I don't know…I haven't… what kind of criteria is that?” protested Kaori with her face still as red as a ripe strawberry.

“The most important one! Otherwise, mind as well be a friend, like a female friend, not a boyfriend or lover or husband. What's the point of dating and not know if you're compatible in the bedroom? I mean, the whole point for someone like you, dating is to get married and have a big happy family, right? So you have to know what they're like in the bedroom.”

That made Kaori stop and think. Otoha did have a point. She hadn't even kissed either one of them. What made her think either one was “the” one?

Since her superior had no retort, Otoha continued, “But in your case, based on what I know of those two, and I admit I haven't slept with either one of them, I think Raidou is your best bet. He's more likely to be faithful from what I've heard.” Otoha had chosen Raidou vindictively. She knew Kaori preferred Kakashi, but she did not want Kaori to get Konoha's most desirable bachelor.

But Kaori naively didn't realize the depth of Otoha's resentment. She believed her assessment was genuine. So that was it. Kakashi got three strikes. Time to let sleeping nin dogs lie and not pursue Kakashi again.

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