Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Hokage Files ❯ The Icha Icha Disaster ( Chapter 2 )
Kakashi makes a request for the Hokage himself to get buy him a copy of the latest limited Edition of the "Icha Icha" series.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.05.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 510 | Status: Completed
Naruto was at his desk in the Hokage building.
“Hello. I’m Naruto Uzumaki breaking the fourth fanfiction wall and you’re reading the Hokage Files. As you know, the author has been trying to make fanfics that can be read by everyone, including those who are only allowed to read the K rated fanfics and maybe the K plus fanfics so that it can be read by everyone in the family. Unfortunately, we couldn’t do that thanks to that Ero-Sennin. So, if you have any complaints, send them to jiraiya(at)ichaicha(dot)com(dot)jp. Just to repeat that, send your complaints to jiraiya(at)ichaicha(dot)com(dot)jp. Now, on to the fanfic.”
“Gaara, I must warn you that this year, the Forest of Death has changed this year.”
“What’s the problem?”
“Well, two Jonins had a fight in the forest and the battle caused the landscape to change. We had to make sure the Chunin exams are not coming this way because we need time for the trees to re-grow,” explained Naruto. “But not to worry. The forest will be ready for this year’s Chunin exams.”
“That’s good to hear...” Gaara stands up. Naruto tries to get off his chair, but the ANBU sitting next to him was sitting on his robe. Naruto forcefully pulls the robe from under the ANBU, causing the ANBU to fall off his chair. Naruto got up and shook hands with Gaara.
The Hokage Files
02: The Icha Icha Disaster
Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners. No Anime characters were brutally harmed in the writing of this fanfic.
Inuzuka Garu and Aburame Shirai were slowly painting the ceiling when Naruto looked up as he walked along the hallway.
“Is it just me or was there less paint than what I saw yesterday?” asked Naruto.
“Yes,” said Garu.
Naruto looks at the Inuzuka boy. “Yes what?”
“Errr...yes, Hokage-sama.”
Naruto sighed and walked back into his office. Kakashi was already inside, catching Naruto off guard.
“Kakashi-sensei! Can’t you wait outside my office if I’m not there?”
“Sorry, Hokage-sama. But I got an urgent problem,” said Kakashi. “Jiraiya didn’t give me the limited edition Icha Icha Paradise with the shiny cover. So, I need you to help me get one from the bookshop.”
Naruto looked at Kakashi. “What? You’re asking the Hokage to get you a magazine that you won’t find me getting from a bookshop!”
“Well, you did give me a mission but Jiraiya forgot to give me my advance copy, you’re going to have to get it since I won’t be here when it comes out in the bookshop today...so...”
Naruto walks into the bookshop in his regular outfit of an orange jacket, orange pants and a lame disguise of an orange cap with the Konoha symbol. He has no intention of talking to the Super Pervert, if he could find him, so he decided to do the next best thing.
Naruto found the limited edition Icha Icha Paradise with the shiny cover and walked to the counter.
“I’m buying this one for a friend,” said Naruto.
The shopkeeper looked at the book. “Well, it’s the limited edition Icha Icha Paradise with the shiny cover. I’ll go wrap it up so that...you know.” The shopkeeper walked in the backroom to wrap the book. As Naruto waited, he didn’t notice that three male dark-haired Jonins who happen to be walking into the bookshop at the same time and saw what Naruto bought.
“Uh oh,” said the trio. Sasuke, Neji and Shikamaru made a U-turn out of the bookshop and walked off in different directions.
“Now, to hide this book for Kakashi-sensei.”
“No...this place would be too busy.”
“Maybe here. Nah. If Hinata opens this, she’ll kill me.”
“Ah...this is perfect.”
“Is it supposed to be in French?” asked Shizune.
Lee looks at Shizune’s computer. “You don’t want it?”
“I like it,” said Shizune. “But Hokage-sama prefers that the words are in Japanese...or at least Engrish.”
Lee picks up a computer manual. “Right, first you need to...” Lee looks up and quickly hits the wall to open a panel revealing a secret compartment full of cables and Lee quickly hides inside. At that moment, Naruto enters the room.
“Any messages for me, Shizune?”
Shizune points at an empty tray.
“That’s a surprise,” said Naruto. “Usually, I would get a lot of paperwork that would be almost as tall as Konohamaru’s room. Now that I think about it, I should give him some more work and say that it’s a part of the training to be a Hokage.”
“This wasn’t part of being a Hokage,” said Konohamaru.
Naruto looked at the Jonin. “Did Jiraiya say anything?”
“I didn’t speak to him, but I did hear him mention about leaving a few advance copies of his book in your office since he forgot to give Kakashi his. Followed by Kakashi and a few of your friends just barging into your office and walking out with Jiraiya’s books.”
‘Shit...’ thought Naruto.
“Fortunately, the box was empty by the time they all left, so Hinata won’t know that it was even there.” assured Shizune. “Anyway, where were you?”
Naruto looks around. “Well...”
Naruto was lying down on a psychiatrist chair.
“So you see, being the Hokage isn’t what you think,” finished Naruto.
“And you’re afraid to see your wife when you go back to work.”
“Yes,” answered Naruto.
“Well, I can understand why you came to my family’s flower shop in the first place if you want to hide from your wife, but if you want to speak out your personal problems to me, you’re gonna have to wait until I become a Chunin,” said the blonde boy sitting at the counter. “I’m still a Genin and I don’t think I’m qualified enough to be acting like your psychiatrist.”
Naruto looked at the boy. “But Iruka-sensei said that your knowledge of the human mind surpasses even that of your mother’s when she was your age, Inoryou. And not to mention that you got Shikamaru’s genius...”
Inoryou put his hands on his forehead. ‘I wish mom would hurry up and kick Hokage-sama out. That chair is for paying customers who want aromatherapy.’ Inoryou looked at Naruto. “If you want to continue lying down on that chair, could you at least buy some flowers for your wife, Hokage-sama? I can even recommend you some.”
‘Now I know how dad feels dealing with the Hokage. He really is troublesome.’
“Someone must be thinking about you,” said Shikamaru’s opponent.
At that moment, Kakashi opened the door to Shikamaru’s office.
“Hey, Shikamaru. Have you seen Naruto?” asked Kakashi.
Shikamaru didn’t look up from the Go board. “I did see him at the bookshop earlier. Why?”
“Well, I asked him if he could get me a copy of the latest Icha Icha paradise with the shiny cover when I found an advance issue in Naruto’s office. You should get one too. There’s a whole box in Naruto’s office. In fact, only Naruto’s office has the limited edition with an autograph.”
“Really?” said Shikamaru, without looking up.
“Yeah. Well, I’m off on my mission. Tell the others the great news.”
“Oh, I will,” said Shikamaru. Shikamaru returned to his game. “Let’s call this one a draw. I got to send a message to a few people after this, Shikami,” Shikamaru said to his daughter. “And don’t tell your mom about what Kakashi-sensei told me. Otherwise...I probably won’t be able to play Shogi or Go for a while,” whispered Shikamaru.
“I won’t tell if you won’t tell Mom that I was hiding here,” replied Shikami.
Naruto was in the bathroom brushing his teeth as Hinata reads a book.
“Naruto-kun. How do you feel if I were to spice up our marriage?” asked Hinata.
Naruto stopped brushing his teeth. “What?”
“I want you to look at me and picture what you want me to be...in your own mind...”
Naruto pictured what he wanted to see in Hinata...
Hinata was on the bed on all fours, giving a seductive growl at Naruto as her PJ’s were down to her shoulders...
“What gave you idea?” asked Naruto
“It was something I found under your pillow,” called out Hinata.
“What is it, Hinata-chan?”
“It’s a copy of Icha Icha Paradise with the shiny cover. Care to explain it?”
Naruto had to think fast. “It’s meant to be for Kakashi-sensei.”
“I see,” replied Hinata. “But would you like to explain this scene on page 132?
Naruto walked out of the bathroom and took the book from Hinata.
“Let’s see. Blonde man, blue-haired wife, Snow Country...hang on...I remember this from our last holiday...”
“ERO-SENNIN!”
02 End