Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Lemony-lemonness of SasuSaku ❯ Crack in it's Rantiest form ( Chapter 1 )

 

As always, our story opens on a rather hot and humid summer in Konoha. The glorious Team 7 have either a) finished training, or b) just finished ramen, and are now saying their good-byes. The author lets you know that the quite-smitten Sasuke is watching Sakura and all her curvaceous (-_-) glory leave, whilst having rather naughty thoughts about how grown-grown up she is and how he'd actually loved her for several years…right. So Sasuke-dearest makes decidedly wicked plans to make the `sweet cherry blossom' become completely smitten with him (as if she hasn't let us know she already is) via a sexual encounter.

 

Enter Sakura's room, where the pink-haired kunoichi is more than likely finishing a shower and wondering aloud about her parent's `mysterious' need to go on a vacation, leaving the poor, defenseless teen on her own. Sasuke, managing to alight on her window-seal without the trained female ninja overhearing him (though her window is open), catches this, and smirks. Thinking some slightly naughty thoughts about her, he proceeds to get a nosebleed when she changes into her pj's, though his thoughts were much more graphic than the actual event.

 

We now re-enter Sakura's room, and possibly her PoV, as she thinks she hears a noise outside her window. Thinking that it's impossible for someone to be there, she dismisses the thought, and instead, lies on her bed, skimpy nightgown riding up. Sasuke, no longer fearing exposure, sits at her window, again, completely hidden from her notice. Suddenly, Sakura begins an aloud monologue about how much she loves Sasuke, though she is sure he doesn't care about her. She bemoans her boring figure, though if Sasuke can fall for it, that means that several denizens of Konoha would as well, saying how much she wishes she were as pretty as *insert some random character here*

 

Sasuke, hearing this belittlement of his true love, descends upon the once again, clueless trained ninja, and jumps her bones! Well, we're not quite to that point yet, but his action is close enough that it counts anyway. She gasps, splutters, blushes, splutters some more, blushes some more, and is romantically and descriptively kissed by Sasuke, who has loads of experience despite the fact he's an emo who only liked Sakura his whole life. This is followed up by more blushing, then a heated touchy-feely moment that is broken by the green-eyed girl's question of why he didn't mention he liked her before. Here comes the boring part most readers skip, so I'll spare you, saying only that it is `touching' and Sakura-dear is nearly in tears and overflowing with love by the end.

 

Needless to say, Sakura is quite moved by this long speech by the normally monotone ninja, and decided to kiss him passionately, despite only being kissed once quite earlier. Sasuke, surprised, sweeps her even more into her arms and kisses her back, to Sakura's `surprise.' The author tends to include vast amounts of groping, and by the third or fourth paragraph of this, decides to let their vast knowledge of sex come into play. Suddenly skilled beyond their years, by the time they figure out who to get all their clothes off, they're still quite enflamed, so they initiate more groping, to the reader's joy.

 

Then comes the actual action.

 

In my…experience with my boyfriend in these acts, I must admit, writers epic fail at sex. For one, it. Fucking. Hurts. Yeah, I said it, it hurts. There isn't a “sharp, but small pain that is kissed away” no, it's the stretching of very unused muscles to fit a rather large object. Needless to say, the first few times are rather not enjoyable. But nonetheless, Sakura and Sasuke got it down. After a rather descriptive paragraph of the actual joining, the author gets embarrassed and rushes to the climax, which is synchronized. Let me tell you now sweet virgins of the world, it's not that easy. But neverless, they orgasm beautifully together.

 

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*Ahem* sorry about that, my ADHD made me stare at my lava-lamp for a few moments, for that is how fast the action is in the few remaining moments. After the wonderful and sexual act is done, the pair fall to cuddling and pillow talk, in which Sasuke further insists that he's loved Sakura for as long as he can remember, and that he'll never leave her. Riiiiiight. Anyway, the author concludes with more japanese, a request for no flames, and something about wanting to own Sasuke's HOT BOD!!!!

 

…Right.

 

And that, dear, sweet readers, is how a generic SasukexSakura lemon is written. I do hope you enjoyed my ranting, and hope that you stick around, for I am a rather notorious procrastinator who writes once about every year. ARIGATOU!!!!

 

Love always, Seraphim.