Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Things People Think ❯ The Things People Think ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Naruto for it is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Viz Media, and Madman Entertainment. Also, I do not own InuYasha either, that belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakuken, Shounen, and Viz Media. No copyright infringement is intended with this purely fan-made work, especially since NO money is being made from this.

Disclaimer 2: This was written purely for comedic purposes, if any offense is taken, then I'm sorry for your wet-blanket personality trait ^_^ (But seriously, I am sorry if any do take offense to this). This little piece of writing was the product of watching one too many abridged series episodes on youtube, and the thoughts about what would the Naruto gang do if they really saw the fanfiction out there.

Disclaimer 3: There is one thing I do happen to own: the character Kurai! Well, at least I hope I own her... because she is supposed to represent my twisted little part in this.

Another idyllic, boring day in the real world was coming to a close and it was the perfect time to go fanfic hunting. As most know the best time to indulge in that guilty pleasure is under the cover of darkness, and it's also when most are updated as well. As such, one curious reader/author found herself surfing the usual fanfiction sites. Sitting in front of her computer, only her dark hair could be seen as she sighed in pure bliss at the Naruto fandom.

"Mmm... What I wouldn't give to be part of a Kakashi/Iruka sandwich," Kurai sighed blissfully to herself. However as she read further, her dreamy expression quickly turned pale. Shaking her head to rid it of those rather...disturbing...images. "On second thought, perhaps I don't want to be in the middle of that."

The sharp point of an elbow was soon felt on the top of her head, and at the sound of Kakashi's voice, Kurai paled even further. "It's not smart to read in the dark, you know."

"Uhmm... Don't you have to be on a mission or bothering Naruto and Sakura or something?" Was all Kurai could say in her defense, as she was desperately hoping he wouldn't look away from his book to see what she had been reading. She could bet this fanfiction was so much worse than anything in those 'romance' books Kakashi always read.

"Why so defensive, Kurai-chan?" If it was possible, she paled even more at hearing Iruka's voice...right next to her ear... Turning her head, she saw the expression on his face as he skimmed over what she was reading. She could literally hear all the sound be sucked out of the room as his face became one of pure mortification. And just like in one of those cheesy horror movies, his head turned towards her so painstakingly slow.

"You. Are. So. TWISTED!"

"Unfortunately, I have to agree with him. Who knew you were such a freak Kurai-chan?"

Completely mortified and embarassed, she shouted back, "You all act like I was enjoying it!"

"Enjoying what?" Quickly hitting the awesome 'back' button at hearing Naruto's voice, Kurai just shook her head, wondering when this night turned for the worse.

"Why were the lights off?" And there was the other member of Team Kakashi. All that was needed now was for Sasuke to show up, and they could have one big reunion brought about by the wonders of yaoi.

Iruka shook his head and turned to leave, "I'm going to go before I end up becoming even more scarred for life... Damn sick, twisted minds.."

"Soo... What'cha looking at?" Naruto asked as he took Iruka's spot beside Kurai, and saw for himself just what was on the page. "Oohh, such awesome colors!" Everyone looked at Naruto strangely after his little outburst and as he scrolled through all the summaries on the page without any sign of being completely appalled.

"Naruto...? Uhm," Kurai paused, trying to figure out just what she wanted to ask without sounding too accusing. "Do you see something you like on this page?" Apparently, subtlety was not in Kurai's vocabulary.

"Oh yeah! All these stories are so cool, showing off the friendship and bonds we all have! Especially all these ones with Sasuke and I in them.. I don't see what Iruka-sense didn't like about what you were reading."

Seeing the horrified expressions on everyone else's faces at Naruto's naivety, Kurai took this as a good time to give Naruto a little explanation on 'the birds and the bees.' She leaned over and whispered into his ear just what was going on, explaining that what was happening just wasn't brotherly or friendly in a friendship sense at all.

"Wha-?"

...

"What?!"

...

"What the hell!?"

...

"That's his-...?! And it goes-... Ughh!! Talk about grrooosss!!"

...

"But... But, he's like.. My BROTHER!"

"Now, now, Naruto, I never said the human mind, especially the female mind, was a nice place," Kurai offered simply after defiling his poor, virgin ears. Then again, with his Sexy no Jutsu and those Icha Icha books Jiraiya writes, who knew what Naruto already knew and had heard.

Thoroughly scarred, Naruto backed away and sat cross-legged on the floor, back facing everyone, "You didn't have to go into so many details though!"

"Hey! I'm not the one who put the details in there!"

"So!!"

"Wow.. I just can't believe there are so many stories like this.. Who knew this was so popular?" Sakura commented mainly to herself, as she scrolled through the pages of titles and summaries. "And just who is this 'Kagome' person? She's always in them whenever there's this thing called 'Inuyasha'?" Outside, Sakura seemed fine, but at coming across the fifth Kagome/Sasuke pairing, everyone could tell what Inner Sakura was looking like. The flames literally jumped out of her eyes, and they could all almost hear Inner Sakura screaming, "Bitch trying to steal MY Sasuke!"

"Ha! Sounds like someone Kiba would like with that name! Seriously, who names anyone Inuyasha?" Naruto chimed in.

Ignoring the inwardly fuming Sakura, Kakashi turned back to the stories on the page. While he didn't want to look, it was like watching a train wreck--you just couldn't stop looking. "Is that... Is that a story with me and...Naruto?!"

At that, Naruto turned back around, pointing an accusing finger at the jounin. "That is completely your fault, Kakashi-sensei! That wouldn't be there if you hadn't said you loved me!!"

"That...is something I think no one here wanted to hear, Naruto," Kurai said as she inwardly debated over what would work best for removing all these bad images she didn't want.

"Oh my gosh! Is that a Naruto/Neji pairing?!"

"That's it! Screw the consequences!" Naruto shouted as he jumped up after hearing Sakura. Kakashi grabbed Kurai and Sakura as Naruto got ready to unleash his own attack: "Rasenshuriken!"

After a moment, the shock wore off and all Kurai could feel was anger. Naruto had just destroyed her computer over YAOI!? Seeing the expression on her face darken, the three members of Team Kakashi decided this was the best time to run away before the anger of Kurai could be unleashed.

"Naruto!! There's a back button for a reason!!"


Okay, before anyone flames me, let me say a few more things. Yes, I have read the Naruto manga, I am very up-to-date on it. Yes, Naruto really is that naive. And yes, Kakashi did say that he "thinks he's falling in love with Naruto" (but love in a completely friendship type way, I think).. I just had this thought pop into my head, and it wouldn't leave until I wrote it all out because I have always wondered what certain characters would do and how they would react at some of the fanfiction written about them. So I hope all of you see the simple humor in this and don't think I'm bashing (or trashing) what people like to write and read. As you can see from the opening of this fanfiction, I like it too.