Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Things We Do For Love ❯ Chapter 1

Disclamer: Once upon a time, fanfic readers already knew that the authors didn't own the characters they were reading about. But they were paranoid and decided they needed to scream it out anyway. The end.

The Things We Do For Love
by Chrono Scholar

As a wise man once said, drastic problems call for drastic measures. Wait, never mind. It wasn't a wise man, it was Kakashi. (Wise-ass, maybe…) Well, whatever. This is one of those rare times where what he says in a bout of imagined cleverness actually has some bearing on real-life events.

I've been a ninja for five years now, and very little has changed. In this case, that's a very bad thing. Sasuke still only grudgingly respects my skill, Sakura still does her best to pretend I'm not there, and the majority of the town still resents my continued existence. We may not be genin anymore, but you can really only tell by the flack jackets we wear now.

The worst part is Sakura's continued obsession with Sasuke. He ignores her just as much as she ignores me; maybe even more. The worst part is I think I know why. What, with the looks I've been getting recently.

Excuse me while I shudder.

My point is, that it's unhealthy. Even I'm at the point where I realize it's useless trying to chase after someone who doesn't notice me. But Sakura just keeps at it. It almost seems like it's just become a pattern now. Like she doesn't really want to do it, she's just conditioned herself so much she can't stop. Like she needs hard evidence that it will never happen before she finally can break away; a shock of some sort. Well, I'll give her that shock. If I have to, I'll even use…that technique.

"Hey! Sasuke!" Good, it looks like both him and Sakura got my message to meet them in front of the Heroes Monument. I call out to them as I arrive.

"Naruto," Sakura begins, " Why did you want us to meet you out here?"

"Well, there's this technique that I haven't had a chance to test out in a few years, and I just wanted to see if it was still effective, so I figured I'd try it out on Sasuke." The arrogant egotist has the gall to smirk at me disdainfully.

"You can try," he tells me, "But don't be surprised when it doesn't work." He has no idea how little I need the warning. Then he opens his mouth again and annoys me even more. "But what do we need Sakura here for? Couldn't we do this ourselves?"

"Because she's our teammate." My teeth are clinched so hard it hurts. "I thought she might like to know about the technique. It could be useful knowledge on a mission."

"Fine, whatever. Let's get this over with."

Sakura, looking apprehensive, moves over near the stream that flows through the area; close enough to see everything that happens, and far enough to keep from distracting us.

"Anytime, Naruto." He just stands there, not even bothering to prepare a defensive stance, his hands infuriatingly shoved deep into his pockets. Apparently Chidori wasn't the only thing he learned from Kakashi. My only reply is to put my hands into the appropriate symbol.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" In the blink of an eye he is surrounded by twenty of my doppelgangers. As we move into the kill, our hands move once again, into the symbol of the tiger. And at the pivotal moment, we strike. "Henge!"

"HAREM NO JUTSU!"

Vindicated, I dispel all my doppelgangers and turn to Sakura, who stands there stunned.

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but I had to make it obvious to you. He didn't react at all! Even you should know that any straight man would instantly be rendered powerless. I know the truth probably hurts, but I'm 99% sure he's gay." Hmm. No reaction. She's still standing in the same position, utterly shocked…wait, is her nose bleeding?

"Um, Sakura? You okay?" Suddenly, I realize that this whole time my voice has been oddly high. I look down at myself and realize that while I'd dispelled the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, I had not dropped my special version of the Henge. I also notice that the appearance of the transformation has apparently aged to match my own real aging.

I look up at Sakura again and see that now she's…grinning? And what's with that odd giggling? It's really starting to freak me…OH NO!!! I NEVER REALIZED!!!!!

The crazy girl suddenly tackles me to the ground, and my last thoughts before succumbing to the pleasure are amazement at how easily things can go wrong…

"Er…Naruto?" Kakashi greets me as I walk down the street headed for my favorite ramen shop. "What's with the new…equipment?"

My only answer is to sigh and blow my now longer hair out of my face. As I keep walking, I mutter to myself…"The things we do for love."

a/n: Don't blame me, blame hours of reading through the ff.net Naruto archives and being... dissappointed. Something new was necessary, and I've certainly never seen anything like this before.