Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Thicker than Blood ❯ Tears of a Lonely Woman ( Chapter 2 )

 

 

Thicker than Blood

 

Disclaimer: Still don't own any of them. Life's not fair

 

Chapter Warning: pretty graphic lemon …you have been warned…(oh come on!!… we both know you can't get enough ^_^)

 

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Chapter 2: Tears of a Lonely Woman

 

Sakura…

 

I turned my head to the side, refusing to look at the man grunting on top of me. His sweat dripped down to my body making me feel sticky and his movements made me feel noxious. It was like this every single time and I disciplined myself not to feel pain or disgust as we did the act. I know his mind was nowhere near the room so I cast mine out the door too, to help ease the pain a little bit. I had grown accustomed to this state of mind as he made his way with me. I stopped complaining a long time ago and let him do his thing. It was easier than pretending.

 

The man drove his member inside of me, faster and harder. His desperate movements told me that his climax was very near but I did not feel excited or eager… only relieved… I knew it was unusual to feel this way in the throes of passion, but I seriously doubt if we even had that to begin with. We were joined together, body with body, but we might as well be on the opposite sides of the earth and not even notice.

 

The man thrust inside me one last time and he groaned aloud, reaching his peak. I could feel the warmth of his fluids as he released it deep inside me. It dripped down my thigh and I fought the urge to wipe myself clean of him. He steadied himself on top of me as he gasped for breath. I kneaded the muscles on his back and ran my fingers through his raven hair, more out of instinct than anything else.

 

He pulled out of me the as soon as he had strength to do so and slumped to his side of the bed with his back towards me. No other actions done, no words spoken. We didn't have anything to do or say to each other anyway. It was better this way.

 

I turned my head as I lay on our bed and stared at Sasuke's back. Lately, I had been seeing much of his back that I became familiar with it. I knew the number of moles he has. I memorized the places where his battle scars were and I recognized the planes and the ridges of his muscles like the back of my hand. I was acquainted with his back so well that I almost forgot how he looked like from the front.

 

I held back a tear that threatened to escape my eyes…

 

This was not how it used to be.

 

I used to know everything about him. His face was etched inside my heart, dark piercing eyes and soft lips that often tugs up into a smirk. I know his likes and dislikes, his hopes and dreams, his secrets and his fears. I used to know him better than he does himself.

 

But lately, it was as if I see him for the first time in my life, a stranger on my bed… and it frightened the hell out of me.

 

Who is he… this man I married?

 

He was the man I dreamed of, ever since I laid eyes on him during our genin days. I knew then that somehow, someway I had to be his wife. I loved him since then, loved him with all the sincerity I could possibly give. He was the first guy, the only guy that I ever truly wanted to share myself with.

 

He broke my heart… countless times. Ruined it, really… but I was blinded by my feelings for him to care otherwise. I nursed my shattered heart and offered it back to him with both hands and a smile. He took it…played with it awhile, before throwing it away when he got bored.

 

Then I'd go and do it all over again.

 

I cried, I laughed, I wept, I smiled… for him. But everything that I am, everything that I own and everything that I have to give… it was never enough. I was always lacking… of what, I never quite knew.

 

When he asked me to marry him, I said yes in a heartbeat without even considering the consequences. This was my dream and I was not about to let it slip past my fingers. I knew he does not love me. I knew the terms of our marriage even if we do not speak of it. Like an unspoken agreement between two people, it does not require any explanations what so ever… it was just it. Love was never a requisite.

 

He does not love me and he made it clear, clear as glass. But I was too overwhelmed by my emotions to think clearly. My love for him made the clear glass seem hazy and cloudy… and I refused to fan out the smoke in fear of what I would find behind it.

 

I thought, maybe… just maybe… I have love enough for both of us.

 

After we got married, I thought I could change him and he'll learn to love me just as well.

 

Silly, really, how women are attracted to emotionally unstable men thinking that they are the only girl that can save him from darkness… only to find out that they are the ones that need saving in the end.

 

I held onto him and felt glorified under any minute affection he bestowed on me, however vague it may be. A touch on the hand… a smile on his face… a glint in his eyes, I fooled myself into thinking that those were the signs of a change in the wind. Everyday I devoted myself to the task of showing just how much I feel for him, in hopes that he would return the affection. That somehow, he would lower his wall just a little bit… enough for me to climb through, or at the very least, reach out over to him.

 

He never did. And to make matters worse, he added up to the wall… brick by brick… stone by heavy stone… until it stood high… too high for me to even see where it ended. It stretched out and loomed over me, intimidating me with its power and height, casting a dark shadow over me. The wind of change knocked me over to my knees and I hit my head on the wall… waking me up from the fantasy I made for myself. I finally realized my own foolishness… but not until it was too late.

 

I knew that I was doomed.

 

Somebody should have told me that dreams ought to stay just like that, a dream… a fiction of imagination… far from reality. But I guess I was too stubborn to listen anyway even if somebody did. Dreams should stay dreams. I learned that the hard way. Because when I woke up from mine… all I found was a nightmare.

 

I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I yearn for passion and trust, devotion and affection. I look forward to warm kisses and tight embraces. I long for soft touches and intimate caresses. I need sweet words telling me how beautiful I am, that I am the only woman in his life. I want to be appreciated and treated like a woman that I am.

 

But I never got any of those from him…

 

and it…

 

hurts…

 

like…

 

hell...

 

…

 

His deep, regular breathing and steady pulse told me he was finally asleep. I slipped out the bed with nothing on, not even my pride or dignity. I tried my hardest not to make any sound and wake him up as my feet touched the cold, hard floor. I felt weak and frail… emotionally more than physically. I held onto the walls for support as I made my way towards the bathroom, the one place in our dark apartment where I could go to for sanctuary.

 

I looked at the mirror but I barely recognized the woman who stared back at me.

 

Who is she… this woman with dark, sunken eyes lined with worry and despair? Her cherry hair is a complete and utter chaos, so much like her marriage. She is pale and lifeless, a ghost drifting though life without a purpose… merely existing for a reason she does not even understand. Her lips are swollen and red from biting back the words of anger that she wants to shout out to the world, holding it deep inside herself until it pooled into a dark puddle of gloom and mended with her soul. Her eyes could shed no more tears. The once vibrant emerald tone is overshadowed by sadness and misery, making it as bleak and as grey as she is inside.

 

I touched the mirror and she touched it too.

 

I touched my face and she touched it too.

 

I could no longer deny…

 

That woman was me…

 

Sakura Uchiha…

 

….

 

For being the smartest, most clever girl in class…

 

How can she be so stupid?!

 

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I put on a plain simple dress and quietly went out the bathroom. Stealing a glance at him, I saw that he was still fast asleep.

 

The darkness of our room embraces him as one of their own, almost like he belonged with the shadows. He looks like a fallen angel in his stillness, a dark avenger in his short moment of serenity, mystically handsome and gleaming with reserved strength. The calmness in his face when he is asleep manages to steal my breath away every single time and if I look close enough… if I squint my eyes just a little…I could see, in the farthest corner of his soul… the man I married.

 

But that was just about it.

 

I looked away.

 

I got tired of seeking that small part of him and my eyes hurt from all that squinting.

 

It is too exhausting to search for something that is barely there.

 

The bedroom door creaked as I opened it and slipped through its narrow passageway. I hoped I did not make too much noise to awaken him as I stole a last glance at my sleeping husband before closing it. I tiptoed my way though the living room, careful not to bump into anything as I made my way towards the door.

 

I closed the door behind me… and it felt like freedom. All the shackles that leaden my body and my heart seemed to drop down to the floor and I felt light and weightless. I breathed in deeply, enjoying the freshness of air in my lungs. The moon shinned brilliant against the black drape of the sky with only the glittering stars for company. The dim light cast an eerie shadow over everything and I relished the vision presented before me.

 

In the stillness of the night, Konoha looked different, an eternal place of beauty, tranquility and calmness mixed into one. No people shouting at each other, no kids running around the road. No noise and no distractions. Nothing. It was simply peaceful and I liked it that way.

 

I made my way to the lake near the village. It was my favorite place and I always go there to think, when I want to escape the sadness seeping out of my home.

 

But my reason for going there had changed.

 

I go there because he is there.

 

Itachi Uchiha

 

And I need him tonight… more than any other night.

 

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The hands on my hips and the flapping of his coat told me that he was here, directly behind me.

 

I never could sense his presence until he touches me, which just goes to show how great he is as a ninja. If he wants to kill me, he could do so in a heartbeat and I wouldn't know the difference between life and death.

 

But I don't think he wants me dead… at least, not tonight.

 

This…affair… has been going on for days… weeks…even months now. Each night, I promise myself, would be the last night I see him… yet I find myself standing exactly in the same place, looking over at the same peaceful lake, feeling the same cold breeze…again… and again.

 

And he comes, every single night, confident that I'll be there waiting patiently for him.

 

“Let's pretend.” He whispered through my hair, sending shivers down my spine.

 

It is always the same greeting he gives me every time we meet.

 

They have the same dark, piercing eyes and the same raven hair. They possess the same arrogant nose and the same luscious lips. They hold the same angular face and even the same conceited smirk.

 

It would be easy for me to pretend that I am with Sasuke instead.

 

But Itachi will never be Sasuke.

 

Not because he can't… but because I don't want him to be.

 

I stopped pretending long ago…

 

…

 

I wondered if he knew.

 

…

 

I turned around with a kiss for an answer.

 

This time, I was the one in need. I grabbed his head down for the kiss and attacked his lips. I clutched at his shoulders and stood on tiptoes to reach his height so I could kiss him deeper. This seemed to please him and he returned with equal fervor. Tongues met and collided with equal passion. I ventured my tongue into his mouth but he pushed back and assailed mine. Even in kisses, I was never a match for him. A steel arm encircled my waist and pulled me closer to him while the other hand went and caressed my hair. My own hand carelessly unbuttoned his coat and threw it somewhere on the ground. I slipped my hand inside his shirt and ran it through his bare skin, scratching him lightly with my nails. He felt warm and tense under my touch as he gave a growl of satisfaction against my mouth.

 

I wanted him so bad... with an urgency that needs satisfaction… as soon as possible.

 

He seemed to think so too as he pushed me against the trunk of a tree and brought his weight down on me. I could feel the tension in his muscles as he struggled to take control of the situation… but that was exactly what I don't want…

 

Control...

 

I told him so by tugging at his shirt restlessly until it went over his head. I roamed my hands all over him, his head, his neck, his back…his broad shoulders… his defined arms… his muscular torso… his masculine hips… all over his body… until it rested at the hem of his pants.

 

“Seems like you have no trouble pretending at all?” He whispered though our heated exchange.

 

I opted to ignore the arrogance in his voice and kissed him passionately, silencing any questions he might have since I don't have a clear answer to give.

 

It seemed to work as he fumbled with the zipper of my dress and pulled it down. His eyes widened when he saw that I had not bothered to put anything on besides the dress. I conveniently forgot to put my undergarments, knowing they'd only be hindrance anyway.

 

If Itachi wants me… he will have me… no matter how hard I protect myself and flimsy clothing provides little to no security from him.

 

I felt his lips in my neck, sucking and caressing my bare skin. The hands on my hips brought me closer to him even as he pushed me against the hard wood. Pinned between the tree and his warm body, I could feel his pressure, his need, starting to build up. And it only fueled mine even more.

 

When his lips touched my breasts, I cried aloud and arched my back, offering myself to him. He rubbed my curves with his hand while he sucked on the other. He kissed me, rubbed me, caressed me… like there's no tomorrow and I honestly felt like I was going to die. Oh sweet torture! My pulse was racing… to fast for me to keep up… my breath came in quick pants and I struggled with the yeaning of my body. I ran my fingers though his hair and cradled his head, holding him in place to the gratifying task he was doing.

 

Fire was running though my veins, the intense need for contact almost unbearable. I ran my hand all over his body again, pleading for the deep sensation only he could give. The tingling sensation low in my abdomen told me that I was ready. I grasped at the hem of his pants and fumbled with the buttons. I want him to take me to that place of pure bliss… I want to feel him deep inside me… I want him…

 

Now…

 

I reach out for his pleasure…

 

But a hand stopped me and pinned my arms against the wood behind me and I felt pain. Startled and confused by what happened I opened my eyes and found myself staring at his calm, collected face… like nothing happened at all.

 

“Wh..what? Itachi…why?” I struggled with words to say, emotions and sensations all messed up inside me.

 

He smirked at me.

 

“Relax, my little cat. We have all night.” he said teasingly. “No need to rush.”

 

I closed my eyes, took a long, deep breath and nodded in agreement.

 

Then we did it all over again…

 

Lips with lips… touch with touch… skin with skin… It was too overwhelming to comprehend it all and I was lost in the sensation that was him as he kissed me. His hand stroked my fire, from breast to hips as he pulled me closer. I felt the long hard pressure of his need against my thigh and I trembled at the thought of it deep inside me. I fought for restraint, his pace was slow… too slow for my desire… and …

 

Oh god!

 

It was driving me insane!

 

He lowered his lips down my neck and to my breasts and I leaned at his shoulders for support. My body and soul molded with his so perfectly, soft against hard, delicate against firm, pale against dark.

 

His hand went down to my thigh and lifted it up against his hips and held it there in sweet agonizing torture. I could almost feel him against the pants he wore… but not quite enough to satisfy my needs. I could feel the moisture running down my legs, begging for his attention.

 

I felt his hand caress my core at last and I moaned at his shoulder. He stroked my sensitive flesh, slow but hard… gentle but strong and all I could do was grab at his shoulders and beg for more.

 

“Please… I…I need…this” I begged, not caring how I sounded anymore. I was beyond caring.

 

He groaned in response and I was rewarded when a finger parted my folds and slipped inside me. I pushed my hips forward and tried to bury his finger deeper. He must have anticipated my reaction as he slipped another finger inside. I buckled my hips against his probing fingers and he drove them in me again and again… but still… too slow for my yearning.

 

“You're wet…” he said.

 

I did not reply. I bit him on his shoulder instead.

 

He thrust his fingers faster and allowed my body to grind against his hand. Finally, I could feel it, the intense pressure… pure bliss. Moans echoed against the trees as I moved my body against him, the friction too intense to bear. I could feel it… I was near my peak… I could almost reach it… almost there… I… I…

 

NO!!!

 

I almost reached my climax… almost… before he pulled out his hand from me and took one step back leaving me stressed and shaking from head to toes.

 

Mixed emotions poured out of me as I tried to comprehend exactly what happened. He had never done this to me before. He always gave me what I wanted…what I needed… He was never this… this…

 

Cruel…

 

“Itachi?” I stepped forward and reached out for him, wanting to start all over again… but he slapped my hand away and took another step back.

 

I couldn't begin to understand why he was acting that way, a moment ago he was kissing me passionately but now… now he was rejecting me. I can't comprehend why…

 

And it was making me angry.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” I shouted at him, my voice trembling with fury.

 

He did not answer…

 

He just smirked… so much like Sasuke.

 

My hands trembled and itched with aggression, wanting to slap that conceited smirk off his face and show him exactly what he was dealing with but I held back my hand. I learned from experience that it does little good to anger an Uchiha.

 

But that did not stop me from voicing out my frustration.

 

“How… how dare you… smirk at me like that… you… you arrogant, egotistical bastard! Don't you dare play games with me else I make you regret it!”

 

He chuckled at my reaction. “I have reason to believe that this is a game we play. Am I wrong in my assumption?”

 

His answer hit a nerve.

 

All my emotions suddenly poured out of me, anger, resentment, hate. Everything that I was holding back for so long… all the feelings… all the suffering… all the unshed tears I've been trying to hide, it all burst out of me like thundering flood.

 

And I cannot stop it.

 

“So this… all this is just a game to you! You walk around and play with people's hearts then throw it away like a piece of garbage!”

 

I was crying and shaking uncontrollably. Years worth of tears poured out of me and I felt like I was breaking apart.

 

“I am nothing right?! I am just a woman! A toy to play around with! Is that what you think I am!? Well screw you! You don't even know what I've been through! You have no idea how it hurts, dammit! It hurts so badly and you caused it! You are so much like… like him! And I hate you both… I hate you... and I don't ever want to see you again!”

 

He reached out a hand but I slapped it back.

 

“Don't touch me! I don't want you to ever touch me again, you bastard! You've toyed with my heart long enough! I'm done playing and I'm done pretending so stay away from me!”

 

The pain I was feeling was unbearable. I felt rejected, a piece of trash thrown in the muddy river… floating to god knows where. I had no direction and no purpose, merely drifting along with the currents hoping that somebody would pick me up… only to be thrown away again.

 

He made me feel like I was nothing.

 

I turned around to leave before I loose all my dignity but his hand grabbed at my wrist and forced me to face him. I was confused, shaken and trembling beyond belief. My own body moved in its own accord and before I knew it…

 

The stinging sound of hand against cheek was heard though the forest… I slapped him on the face…

 

And time stood still.

 

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open after realizing what I had just done. He let go of my hand and nursed his slightly pink cheek with the other. I saw the angry glint in his eyes and I cowered under the shadow of the tree behind me. I knew I was going to pay dearly for what I had done.

 

I wanted to disappear and be part of the tree behind me as he stepped closer. I could almost see the fury in his eyes, promising a terrible payback and I trembled with fear. I couldn't think…I couldn't move… I couldn't even breathe.

 

Oh god!

 

I am going to die.

 

He leaned his head close to mine and I shut my eyes tight and waited for the inevitable. I could feel his icy breath on my cheek, freezing me on the spot. I sank farther back into the tree and I waited for the welcoming embrace of death.

 

“Do you feel better now?”

 

My eyes widened as I looked into his, black onyx met with emerald green.

 

“Wh…what do you mean.” I stuttered anxiously.

 

“I generally don't like repeating myself, Sakura.” he said warningly. “Do you feel better now?”

 

Suddenly it dawned on me… what he was trying to do.

 

He was trying to release me… from the frustrations in my life… from the pain of my regrets… from the unshed tears and unvoiced anger.

 

I realized that he was trying to free me…

 

From Sasuke.

 

My feeble knees gave way and I sank to the ground. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. He caught me and cradled me against his chest, his strong arms being my only support. I cried against his chest letting it all come out, all my uncertainties and fears, my regrets and my disappointments… it all flowed out of me… an unrelenting stream of mixed emotions.

 

His arms were warm and tight, holding me in place as I weep against him. For the first time in a long while, I was thankful for something. I was grateful that he was here holding me in my moment of weakness. I was grateful that he released me from my concealed pain. I was grateful that he came into my life.

 

I thought to myself…

 

He should have come sooner…

 

…

 

But at least he came nonetheless.