Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Things Naruto Characters Would Never Say ❯ Never Say Pt. II ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N: Well, I'm back with more of these Never Says. I put more characters into it this time. I got such good hits on it, I decided to continue it. Well, enjoy!

NOTE: These are in random order

Things Naruto Characters Would Never Say- PartII

All Disclaimers Apply!

-Kakashi: Obito, Obito, look! A candy shop! May we please go in,
please?!
-Obito: Oh, very well, Kakashi.
-Kakashi: Oh, joy!

-3rd Hokage: Hey Iruka... (snickers) Got milk?
-Iruka: Dangit, 3rd Hokage, give back my blasted milk!

-Jiraiya: Ho ho ho! Merry christmas!

-Itachi: Sweeeet....

-Sasuke: Oh well. Naruto is clearly stronger than me I better give up.

-Rock Lee: Heeeeey batter batter batter! C'mon! Pitcher's gotta big butt!

-3rd Hokage: I think I better start taking some Tylenol. This soar throat is starting to annoy me.

-Konohamaru: *playing video games* Yayayayayayayaya! *Naruto snatches the controls from him* Hey! You just killed me! *cries*

-Kakashi: Itachi? What? OH! Him! Now I remember...

-Zabuza: They sliced off my arm? I don't need this. GOOD-BYE!

-Iruka: Ninja? What the @&#$! is that?

-Gaara: *singing* Outback Stake house, no rules just right!

-Rock Lee: *singing* God bless America...my home sweet home!

-Naruto: Itachi? What's that some sorta cookie?

-Sasuke: *Arnold Swartzeneeger Voice* I am the Terminator!

-Naruto: *in a scared voice*...animals...they...are...so.....so...mean to me....I hate...the dark...*loud scarred breaths*....hehehe *psychotic laugh*

-Sakura: I could beat down Kakashi any day of the week!

-Naruto: That Konohamaru guy was really tough. I mean WHOA! I thought he had me beat for a minute there.

-Dyslexic Sasuke: OTURAN

-Gaara: *English Accent* I am actually British.

-Jiraiya: *Cleaning his outfit* Damn spaghetti stains!

-Jiraiya: *Scottish Accent* Course I'm no happy. Iz got biggerz tities dan yuu! I gotz more chinz than a chia knees phone book!

-Naruto: *Scottish accent* First things first! Where's ya sh*tter? I got a turtle head poken' out!

-Sasuke: My favorite is Tinky Winky... what's yours Naruto?
-Naruto: Uh... I don't watch Teletubbies.
-Sasuke: What?! *beats up Naruto*

-Iruka: I have my mother's hips, and I have to accept that.

-Kakashi: Eggs... flour... butter... I love baking.

-Naruto: Unko IWUKA! Let's go to da circus an' see da clowns!
-Iruka: Sure kid!

-Sakura: Hi senseii!
-Kakashi: Kakashi! The name is Kakashi!

-Sasuke: I'm a people person.

-Naruto: Hey guys leave Sasuke alone! When you get right down to it
he's not such a bad guy!

-Iruka and Kakashi at mall: How YOU doin?!

*There is a moon seen*
-Rock Lee: What the hell..?
-Kakashi: That can't be! There's no full moon tonight!
*Naruto is seen bending over to pick up a penny*

-Zabuza: What are you tryin' to tell me? That I can dodge blasts?
-Kakashi: Once you're ready, you won't have to...((seen The Matrix?))

-Oneesan no Miroku Houshi: No, I'm not going to write another repetitive, boring, obvious line... honest.

-Itachi: I'm going to kill you Naru....OOOOOH! Bubble Wrap!

-Konohameru: Hey Naruto...OH! F*** IT!

-Naruto: Gee guys, I don't know ... that double Whopper looks awfully big.

*In an AA meeting*
-Kakashi: I'm Kakashi and I'm an alcoholic
-Iruka: I'm Iruka and I'm a homosexual.
-Kakashi: Wrong building Iruka!
-Iruka: Oops......

-Sasuke: Itachi! Take off that STUPID hand puppet!
-Itachi: It's the only was for me to cope with my emotions. ::Whispering:: Don't listen to him Mr.Hat...

-Sakura: Is that your final answer?

-Kakashi: Welcome to dieting with the Jounin! Well start with a fresh water salad, tossed in a light vinaigrette of H2O, and we'll cap it off with a side of water!

-Sasuke: Hey Sakura, do you wanna go on a date?
-Sakura: No thanks...

-Kakashi: Hey look! My scar! It's really just an old scratch-and-sniff sticker. Mmmm....strawberry.

-Grown Naruto: (to Chibi Naruto) Ha ha! You suck! Oh, wait...

-Gai: I'm dead sexy! (ala Fat Bastard)

-Sakura: Naruto, Got Milk?

-Kakashi: On your Nose... I mean... Toes! Toes!... Damn, Sakura, Never mind!

-Iruka: .... and please leave a message after the tone, thanks a lot.

-Itachi:*mumbling* Stupid preacher, he can't tell ME he's not open for confessions today...

-3rd Hokage: *Sigh* I wish there was more to my life...

-Sasuke: Damn VCR...I can never get it to stop flashing 12:00!

-Sasuke: (singing) We're off fight
-Naruto: And I'm sure to get a brain...
-Sasuke: ...A heart...
-Sakura: ...Back home...
-Kakashi: ...The nerve!!

-Konohamaru: Now.. If I just carry the two.....then.....AH HA!! It takes 3 people to screw in a light bulb!!

-Rock Lee: I'm blue da ba dee ba ba di da ba de da ba di da ba di!!

-Iruka: Yeah, I had a bad experience with a tanning lamp when I was little...

-Sakura: *Gazing at herself in the mirror* I have such cute pores.

-3rd Hokage: (in a limo)**with a cheesy English accent** Pardon me, but do you happen to have any Gray Poupon?

-Sakura:**singing to Sasuke and Naruto** What a girl wants, what a girl needs. Whatever makes me happy sets you free.....

-Sasuke: Sakura, I love you with all my heart. Say You'll be mine or my life won't be worth living.
-Sakura: **yawns** Oh I'm sorry, but I like Iruka-sensei, not YOU! Please remove yourself from my sight.

-Sakura: *Going through the laundry, Sakura holds up a thong* Sasuke, What's this?
-Sasuke: Don't ask me, it's not mine. :Silence: Ask Naruto.
-Naruto: Damn you, Sasuke!

-Iruka: Wow, something smells like kiwi and lime!
-Kakashi runs his hands through his hair and blushes.
-Kakashi: I just changed my shampoo! Can you really notice?

*Naruto is sitting in his room, rolling weed in paper. Iruka and Kakashi walk in.*
-Naruto: Iruka-sensei! Kakashi-sensei! This...this isn't what you think!
-Iruka: It's alright Naruto. Me and Kakashi-san smoke doobies from time to time!
-Naruto: Really?!
-Kakashi: Oh yes! Don't the 3rd Hokage's look a "bit" off? Besides, it's what gives you your blonde hair and me my silver hair!

*Shikumaru is sitting in Hinata's room with Sakura and Ino. They are braiding his super long hair.*
-Hinata & Sakura: Make-overs are SO fun!!!

*Konohamaru and Naruto are playing "Super Smash Bros." for the N64.*
-Konohamaru: The Starman! Naruto, its time to smash your ass...
*Dramatic pause*
-Konohamaru: INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION!!!

-Kakashi to Sakura: Who's your Jounin?...Say it!
-Sakura: You are...do we have to play this game every time?
-Kakashi: YES!

-Naruto: *Looking into mirror* Who's the hot and sexy future Hokage? Yes, YOU are big daddy!
-Kakashi: *Yelling from another room* Naruto! Who are you talking to?
-Naruto: Nothing Kakashi-sensei! Shut up! *Starts to whisper* Damn, I'm sexy...

-Jiraiya: Get in my belly! I'm higher in the food chain than you!!

-Rock Lee: This is how the world's strongest fighter Gai eats a Reese's peanut butter cup.
-Gai: (Touches it and the peanut butter cup is instantly dissolved)
-Rock Lee: There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's peanut cup.

-Itachi: Hey, Minime, Come here!
-Sasuke: *Runs away in a minime outfit* Aaaaah!

-Kakashi: *holds up a bottle herbal essences* Yup ... a totally orgasmic...er... ORGANIC experience! ::grin::

-Hinata: The hills are alive...with the sound of muuusic....

-Sasuke: (at the pet store) Please Naruto! I swear I'll take care of him!

A/N: Could I get any stupider? Probably. I'll have some more of these soon. So please tell me how you like them.