Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Thoughts of a Submissive ❯ The Breaking Point ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

The Breaking Point
Wherein Sasuke shakes and Naruto hugs
(+++)
I willed the shaking of my hands away before knocking on the door with golden nametag ‘Uzumaki Naruto’ on it. No one answered, so I waited. And waited...and then waited some more. When I felt that I had waited long enough at his door, I knocked again. Maybe he wasn’t there after all? I took a hesitant step back. Maybe his absence was a sign and it just wasn’t meant to be, maybe I shouldn’t be here, maybe-
“Enter.”
Someone up there really enjoyed proving me wrong all the time.
I entered his office and closed the door behind me.
Uzumaki Naruto was sitting in a black chair, face hidden behind a newspaper. I stood in front of the door waiting for some kind of reaction.
How long had I been standing there? I had long ago cast my eyes down, not that it mattered, he hadn’t looked at me at all, but I did it anyway just in case.
Finally, after approximately twenty minutes he spoke.
“Mister Uchiha Sasuke.” I had hoped for something more...after the long wait, but I guess this would have to do for now. Since it wasn’t a question I stayed silent, my eyes still cast down.
I could feel his eyes on me but still didn’t look up, instead I kept examining the rather boring floor. I heard a ruffling of papers and glanced up. He was reading my checklist which really wasn’t impressive in my opinion and I could tell he was not impressed either.
“You have no references,” he looked at the papers again. “and you haven’t done too much I can see.” I really didn’t like the tone in his voice. He was making fun of me! So I did the only thing that was natural to me at such a moment.
I glared.
He looked surprised for a second but composed himself rather quickly.
“I don’t remember telling you to look up.” Damn he was good.
I felt my cheeks heat up as he kept looking directly in my eyes, forcing me to look down.
After a few seconds I noticed that he had fallen silent, but I didn’t dare to look up for the sake of showing him that I could be obedient. Was he angry because of a simple glare? I tried to stay positive. He hadn’t rejected me the moment I walked in right? He even agreed to meet me. He wouldn’t waste his time on someone who didn’t interest him, would he?
He stood up from his chair. I stiffened, my hands in tight fists by my sides. I kept quiet and still, reminding myself that he was still testing.
As he walked towards me I took a glance at his shoes. I suppressed a chuckle with sheer willpower. His shoes were orange, I mean, seriously, of all the colours he had picked orange? Oh, god, was this another test? Was he testing how good my control was? I clenched my teeth harder and closed my eyes to calm my inner laughter down. Thank god I was good at that.
When I opened my eyes the shoes were gone. I scanned the floor with my eyes, still knowing that I shouldn’t look up. I didn’t see the shoes anywhere. Where was Naruto?
“You have no experience” he whispered in my ear from behind of me. I jumped up, and would’ve hit his chin with my shoulder had he not pulled away immediately.
No, I didn’t have any training, any experience, anything. He couldn’t actually expect me to have experience at this age, could he? I just fucking turned 18 three months ago! I wanted to defend myself but refrained, that could ruin my chance. If I had one to begin with.
I could feel his warm breath on my neck again and I was sure he could hear my heart beating the shit out of me. He was so close, all I had to do was turn my head around and- wait was he sniffing my hair?! Shocked I swirled around and came to a halt in front of his lips. Frozen I stared, this was the first time I had a good look at him, and what a good look it was indeed. I thought my heart was beating fast when he just stood close to me. Well, now it was beating so fast I was afraid I’d have to check my chest for internal bleeding later on. Startled I remembered that my mom told me that staring was rude, and to make the matter worse I was staring at his lips... Beet red, I took a step back and stared directly into his eyes, which only intensified my blush but I refused to lower my gaze. Naruto just kept looking at me, coolly. Was I not affecting him after all? But then he confused me.
“Nope, no experience at all.” He smirked knowingly. I could already hear the disappointment and rejection in his voice.
‘Huh?’ Oh, yeah...no eye contact. ‘Crap.’
Oh, no no no no no, he was rejecting me because of my lack of experience, this wasn’t happening.
‘No no no no!’ He couldn’t! No fucking way! That was it? I had screwed up already?! He wasn’t being fair! Sure, I had no previous Masters, but I had to start somewhere, right? I was so willing to learn, I was willing to try. I was even willing to submit to him! Didn’t he know how fucking hard it was to do that when being me?
Oh yeah, how would he know such a thing? Fuck.
But that wasn’t the point, damn it! He had been mocking me from the second I stepped into his office. He might not have rejected me immediately, but he had been silently laughing at me this whole time, hadn’t he? That son of a bitch, all this time he was pretending like he was considering being my Dominant, only to say that I had no experience in the end? I looked down at my wrists and saw them shaking.
‘Pathetic’
I had to end my inner monologue as I noticed he was about to speak again.
“Listen,” he sighed. “it really wouldn’t matter if you were older or had more experience at subbing than all the subs combined.” he said with a sad smile.
I looked at him confused, asking for him to continue. Maybe I wasn’t his type? No, that couldn’t be it, I was literally everybody’s type, if all my fans at school and beyond were any indication. So what was he getting at?
“There are two reasons why I can’t accept you. First off, I don’t train my subs, all of them must be fully trained.” So it was because of my lack of experience? Fucking ass-
“Secondly, I’m afraid I prefer women.” He finished.
That couldn’t be true. No! Why was he lying? I knew who had trained him, who his first Master was and it happened to be a man.
“You’re lying” I hissed. “Why?”
“What makes you think I’m lying?” he asked. I couldn’t decipher the look on his face.
“You idiot, “ What? I was only stating the truth. “what kind of a straight man would sniff another man’s hair?” I couldn’t help the mocking tone, he started it.
He looked surprised but then a large grin split his face.
The grin I fell I love with.
But then his words stabbed me again.
“I mean it, I’m not the right man for you Mister Uchiha.” And I knew he was right. He wasn’t the ‘right’ man for me, he was the perfect man for me. And I wasn’t ready to let go of someone who meant so much to me just because he was too blind to see the same.
“But you did train men before, so- so why can’t you-“
“I do not like to repeat myself Mister Uchiha, I don’t train subs anymore.” I almost flinched at his cold tone. But he made me so angry, so frustrated and so fucking confused!
Why did he agree to a meeting then, why waste his time?
‘Why won’t he just kick me out of his office then?’ Because with some help from those muscled arms I knew he could.
Why then? ‘He doesn’t want to.’
Something, if I just said something right, something he couldn’t refuse...
Experience... maybe if that issue was out of the way...
“If I get training, will you give me a chance?” What was I saying? I didn’t want that. Only Naruto, I wanted it to be Naruto, but if...
I couldn’t look at him.
‘Please don’t let me go that far.’
He was so silent but I couldn’t force myself to look at him. I didn’t want to break down.
‘Please don’t break me.’ Wasn’t I broken enough already?
Was I really so worthless...so worthless that even Naruto, the kind Naruto who was known to be so gentle and caring to everyone, wouldn’t care for me, wouldn’t be kind to me?
My eyes were stinging, and I cursed myself for being so weak. I couldn’t hold them back, not anymore. I would do anything for Naruto, even something I hadn’t done for my own family in a long time.
‘I’m crying for you, can you see that? Do you care?’
But even now, he was silent. He didn’t care. I was a stupid boy to him. Nothing special. Even to him.
I tried to block the sob but couldn’t.
Weak.
But I didn’t care anymore. I was so tired of being strong. Why wasn’t I allowed to be weak? I just wanted to be held by Naruto's hands in my weak moments. But he didn’t want to hold this body. He didn’t want to hold me.
I felt so dizzy and sick. I had to get out of here, I couldn’t handle this or Naruto right now.
‘Step by step.’ I told myself. I could do this, I wouldn’t let him see any more damage he had done. But as I took a step backwards, away from Naruto, he grabbed my arm.
‘Please, let me go while I still can.’
I tried to yank my arm away but he stubbornly kept a strong hold on it. I started to panic, he had to let go, I was seconds away from breaking down!
And in my panic clouded mind all I could hear him say was ‘go’.
He wanted me to go. He’d even told me so but why wasn’t he letting me go? He was clutching my arm so hard I was sure it would bruise.
“Then let go of me!” I screamed. He still didn’t let go and I couldn’t take it anymore and fell to the ground. Yet I never expected to feel so warm and safe.
He was holding me, gently patting my back. I felt the tears breaking through the barricade I had made to hide my weakness. But when he whispered “It’s ok, you’re fine” in my ear, I let it slowly shatter to pieces and cried quietly, face hidden in his chest.
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