Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Through the Eyes of a Mad Man ❯ Through the Eyes of a Mad Man ( Chapter 1 )

Through the Eyes of a Madman

Hell doesn't seem so bad from where I'm standing. It's probably just a vacation for the worlds insane and homicidal; a place where they relive the life they all ready have. It's made to make you regret the path you chose but I have no regrets in this life. I was not mad, and I don't mean to regret anything in this world. I did everything for a reason, with a clear conscience and purpose in mind.

I killed so many, and injured so many more; all in the name of myself and my selfish desires. There was no deeper meaning for the atrocities and deaths I caused; it was all for my amusement. But I didn't enjoy those murders as much as you might think. They were more like mild exercise before the big kill. That last one that made everything that had happened worth it. The one I feel the most gratification for being a part of.

Sit down! How dare you move when I'm pouring my heart out! Sit down I said! You want to know what happened to your precious lover? Huh? DO YOU?

I killed him slowly, I loved the look on his face when I pulled his heart from his chest and crushed in front of his eyes. He called your name before the end. I had to pull out his wretched tongue to stop it. I couldn't have you see what was happening, it would have destroyed you further then the knowledge already has. I would say I was sorry, but he had it coming. He took what was mine, what belonged to me from the beginning and then he waved it in front of my face with that infuriating smile of his. You're mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. And he's not worthy of you. Angels like yourself don't belong with him.

Things weren't meant to end this way. All the bleeding and crying; the pain and destruction. Is this how you imagined the end of us? Crying. Bleeding. But no smiles. No smiles for me. Why? Why won't you smile?! You smile for everyone else! You smiled for him! Am I not good enough?!

They called me crazy when they saw what I had done, but I'm not insane. I knew exactly what I was doing; I know exactly why I'm killing. This destruction is all for me; me and my sanity. I need people to understand that, I want them to see that there are repercussions for playing with peoples lives. I'm not the maniac they believe me to be.

There is only one thing I've ever wanted. I just want… one smile? Please? Just one last smile to remember who you were. For your lips to curve up again into that flash of sunshine, just one more time.

Hell seems a lot more welcoming if I could take that image with me. But you'll never smile like that again, will you? Because he's gone; your friends are dead and you're all alone in this world. I know that it's all my fault, for if it wasn't for my selfish needs and wants no one would have had to forfeit there lives. I suppose, if there was anything I would feel regret for it would be that you will never give a smile to anyone again.

And yet, I still feel so happy that you won't. That no one will see it again, so it will remain mine. I do not share; you should know that by now. I am not a selfish man, but your smile has always been mine. If I cannot have it, then neither shall anyone else.

Shush shush, don't cry. You're not completely alone. After all, I'm still here aren't I? I never left. I never will. I'll always be here to comfort you when you cry. You're all that matters to me now.

We were always together; you were always trying to heal me. Those lazy afternoons, those sleepless nights cuddled together when there were no other beds available, that fateful first kiss that started the landslide of our lives, that sweet smile you would send in my direction; they are all I have left now. A lifetime of memories that I will re-create with you. I always did think you were the most beautiful person on this planet. Perhaps if I had told you that earlier, none of this would have happened.

Do you understand? For the longest time, I had nothing. I was forced into pain and seclusion, made to be something I was not. A murder. A cold-blooded killer. But you were there, healing me with your smile. It seems it wasn't enough though. I suppose a person can only take so much pain. And then he stole you from me, he ripped away my only pillar of support and I slowly started to crumble away into nothing.

I've killed, and I'll kill again and again and again until no one is left but you and I. Just us two til the end of time. An eternity together, with no one to disturb us again. It sounds so calm to my frazzled nerves; it is my dream. Can you understand? Can't you see?

Listen to me! God why won't you just listen! I'll make you listen! I'll make it so you can never run from me, so you'll never cease to pay attention to me again!

Look what you made me do? You're bleeding and oh there is so much blood. You forced me to do it! You forced me! No, no, no, no. You can't leave yet! No, I'm not finished with you yet. You're not allowed to run away into heaven with him; you're never allowed to see his face again. I won't let you leave me! I'll help you, save you, heal you, so that you will remain on this planet with me.

This, all of this, is for you. You and only you. My revenge, my pain and loathing, was never really meant for me. It was all for you. Because I love you; I've always loved you and they deserved their deaths for hating you, for loathing you when you could not help what you were. Different. That's all either of us were. But we are two extremes of the same scale. You, alone, an outcast. I, surrounded by so many and yet alone in my own right. I saved you. You never thanked me. But I did. And now, at the end, you won't smile!

I'll be patient. I know you'll come to me in the end. I'm the only one left. One day you'll smile for me the same way you did for him. I will save your soul, even if you don't want it saved. I will save that smile before it fades away. Don't be scared anymore, I'm here for you. I always will be. You know you really are beautiful.

Owari.