Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ To Find Warmth In The Snow ❯ Chapter 7 Lost and found Hope ( Chapter 7 )

Later that day Naruto had gone back to sleep again and I decided it was time to take care of his clothes.
I grabbed up his large and extremely bright orange jacket and folded it sitting it down then his t-shirt, and his blood stained boxers. Seeing his boxers made me angry.

*I wonder who could have done this…* I thought.

“Umm… can I ask what you're doing standing there clutching my underwear?”
I looked over at my bed to see to clear blue eyes staring at me.
“I… uh.” I stated not knowing exactly what I could say to justify what I'd been doing.
He smiled and chuckled lightly sitting up in the bed.
“So doctor Gaara, is there anything else we can do for these wounds.”
I sat down his boxers with the rest of his already folded clothes and walked over sitting on the bed next to him.
“Well you should be fine. The only thing that might scar, are your wrists. And other than that it might be painful to sit or go to the bathroom. But everything else should heal in a few weeks. And then taking into consideration the healing effects of the Kyuubi, That might even be dropped to only one week or so.”
“I'm gonna take a bath.” He said standing and walking to the bathroom.
After the bathroom door had closed I picked up the last article of clothing preparing to call the maid to have his clothes washed.
But something fell out of the pocket.
I bent down and picked up the crumpled piece of paper and unfolded it smoothing it in my hand. And it read:

Thanks for everything

-Uchiha Itachi

*So that's who had done this to him…* I thought coldly.

I called the maid and told her to make sure that his clothes were washed and if a certain stain could not be removed to have that article of clothing replaced.
After the maid left with the bundle of Naruto's clothes Temari walked in.
“Found your self a new pet?” she asked, eyebrow raised.
“Shut up.” I answered simply.
Very suddenly the bathroom door opened and a very naked Naruto came through it.
“Gaara the shampoo is…”
there was an awkward silence that lasted about 3 seconds before both Naruto and Temari screamed.
Naruto quickly went back into the bathroom and shut the door.
“You screwed the kyuubi!!” (me: no but he's about to ^.~)
“I never said anything about having sex with him!” I answered.
“I'm leaving.” She said turning quickly on her heal.
I shook my head, I'd have to find some way to keep her mouth shut about this, later.
I walked to the bathroom door and knocked.
The door opened to reveal a wet and tousled blond sitting on the linoleum the only thing even slightly covering him, a small cotton towel.
“..Did I embarrass you?” he asked shyly looking away.
“No,” I answered helping him up.
He whimpered as he stood and I say a small blood drop on his inner thigh.
He was still injured. I wonder if it hurt really badly.
If it did, emotionally or physically, if anyone could live with themselves after hurting this boy they wouldn't stay living for long.

*Uchiha Itachi…. I'll get you back for this one day.*

I woke up the next morning nice and refreshed. A good nights sleep usually was all I needed to feel as good as new. They say it's because of the kyuubi but I like to think that's is just because I'm a great ninja.
It was my third day at Gaara's house. He'd taken care of me and I was extremely grateful.
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.
He'd been watching me. I could feel it. I could tell that he felt something more about me then he let on. This wasn't just to build good karma; he was doing this for a reason. I was… attracted to him, that much I knew. But I was waiting to see if he would say anything first. That idea was looking bleaker and bleaker every moment. I knew I couldn't stay forever, I was much better now, I had a few light scars along my wrists but I was sure they would fade in a few weeks. I would have to leave either today or tomorrow, I couldn't stay here anymore, and I had to go back to Konoha. But before I left, I wanted to tell Gaara… and I wanted him to admit why he stared at me. I scratched around the bandage at my head in thought. It was beginning to bug me that he was so quiet and wouldn't tell me exactly how he felt.
“Is it bothering you?” I heard behind me. I spun quickly facing the pale red head.
“I… what?” I asked surprised, could he read thoughts?
“The bandage. You keep scratching at it.”
“Oh.” I said relieved.
“Why, did you think I meant something else?” he asked stepping closer to me.
He was so close I felt something hard press against my thigh, though it took me a moment to realize what it was.
I blushed, usually, if I was myself, I probably would have been very open to this, eager, enthusiastic. But after my “encounter” my self-esteem had dropped dramatically. I knew this and it would be obvious to others as soon as I got back to Konoha.
And even now, my usual self indulgent personality was gone, I blushed beet-red and didn't even a make a move towards him.
“I…” he started and I looked up at him acknowledging that I was listening to his words. I stared deep into his eyes and for the first time saw an upwelling of feeling. The raw emotion hidden under the glassy and cold veneer was bubbling over.
He was opening his self up to me.
“I don't usually say how I feel…so I'm not quite sure how to say that…I…I…” he said a small bit of blush coming up to tint his pale cheeks pink.
(This just in: the weather in hell is taking a turn for the worst because some stupid fanfic writer made Sabaku no Gaara blush. Prepare for a blizzard! That is all)
He wasn't acting like the same sand ninja that at one time had beaten bushy brows to a pulp and at another saved his life by defeating Kimimaro. He didn't look like the Gaara I knew at all.
Gaara was known for his flawless defense… but at this very moment, I, Naruto Uzumaki, one of the biggest “failures” of Konoha had the opportunity to crush him.
It's a many sided thing. Love, passion, want, they can give you the greatest happiness or send you plummeting into despair, but…there is no way to predict the out come.
Gaara was putting his heart into my hands by trying to say something, anything, about how he feels.
And I had the choice to either hug his heart close to mine or crush it in my fist.
It's scary for a person to do that, for a person to be so very vulnerable at that very moment.
That's what happened between me and Sasuke…he crushed me…
And it was a lonely feeling to be all alone in the world, but even more lonely if to reach out those threads, reach out those threads of both lost and found hope, praying that your thread can be woven in with someone else's and that would create a bond… and being refused.
Humans thrive from bonds with other humans, being alone… is one of the most instinctual fears ever embedded into our DNA.
The absolute fear of being solitary, but even that isn't the worst. It's always been a question of mine.
The difference between Sasuke and I…
Which is worse, to have loved and lost, or to have never loved at all?
To be suddenly drowned in loneliness when it seemed that your life was going towards a happy ever after, or to be lonely from the start?
“Naruto, I…”
And suddenly it seemed so very quickly that had my confidence back again.
Neither, they're both painful but it all depends on who is feeling the pain…
I kissed him wrapping my arms around him.
I felt him tighten in a surprised response, but he soon relaxed into my loving touch.
“N-Naruto…” he managed to say, his voice tight.
I didn't say anything words didn't matter at a time like this.
At first I felt slightly in control but I soon found his movements to be stronger and harsher than mine.
(And just when you thought he'd be seme for once… okay I'll stop interrupting)
He led me into his bedroom that I'd become familiar with and we fell on the bed with a muted poof.
(Haha “poof” sorry! Put down the knife! *Runs away screaming*)
I ran my hands along his sides feeling his thin waist.
He's kinda skinny… I thought my lips still on his, but his lips taste sweet…
I felt hands come around my hips and pull down roughly at my pants.
It reminded my suddenly of Itachi and it struck a cord of fear in me.
I stopped him putting my hands on his shoulder and pushing him back a little so that I could see his face clearly.
“Gaara, please…be gentle.” I asked softly giving him the sweetest look I could conjure up.
He seemed to suddenly recall why I was at his house in the first place and then quickly apologized.
His lips came back down on mine softly.
I felt his hips grind into mine slowly, yet still forcefully.
He was slow and steady, his tongue gently pumping into my mouth messaging my tongue
I felt small moans come out of my mouth.
This was torture! So slow so languid and listless.
The weight of his body on top of mine was heaven and the feeling of his pulsating cock against mine felt even better but he was almost too slow now.
I was on the verge of begging him to continue on with more than these torturous touches.
But it seems he really could read minds because the next thing I knew my shirt was off, and only seconds after that my pants disappeared as well.
He was undressed so quickly that it almost amazed me. He was probably really eager to do this. I closed my eyes in thought focusing still on the feeling he was sending through me.
I wonder how long he's felt this way about me…but I didn't have time to complete my thoughts as I felt some thing cold splatter on my stomach.
He was spreading lubricant on his hands and cock and some had dripped onto my feverish skin.
I shivered at the slight cold and soon felt a slicked hand grab hold of my throbbing member.
I arched towards his touch loving the feeling.
Maybe it sounds weird but I for some reason felt so complete there in his hand, okay a little more perverted than weird but anyway…
I felt a few fingers come up and draw circles along my chest.
The feeling of his soft fingertips was almost close to orgasmic just by itself.
God, I wanted him.
A few seconds later I felt two fingers slip easily inside of me. It hurt like hell but I could handle it.
“You're still so tight.' He muttered more to himself than really to me.
I moaned as those two probing fingers began to pump into me. But they disappeared too quickly for me to truly relish in the pleasure.
His fingers were quickly replaced with his cock. It hurt like hell.
I felt like I was being ripped in half and the feeling of the head entering me made strange sensation begin to grow in my stomach.
I took a while for him to be fully inside of me with out hurting me and I could feel his anticipation as he slowly began to move.
When I moaned and pushed back he seemed to grow more confidence though his thrusts never became too rough or harsh.
He wasn't doing this for his own physical pleasure, that much I could tell. He was doing this because he really felt something for me. And I suddenly felt a pang in my heart. He was reaching out to me for a love that I couldn't give him… because no matter how much it hurt that I was refused or how much I scolded myself, I couldn't force myself to fall out of love with Sasuke.
I was desperately in love with him and would be for probably the rest of my life.
And I knew that even if I stayed with Gaara… I would constantly wish that he was Sasuke.
The pumping increased and so did the feeling in my lower stomach.
I knew I couldn't take much more and for some reason I didn't really want to.
I was taken over by a wave of depression at the strangest moment.
This moment when Gaara was trying to express his feelings towards me in these actions of lust and yet suddenly there was no pleasure at all.
I quickly fell from the high I had just stained only moments before. I opened my eyes lazily starring up into his face. His eyes were closed; he was still enjoying this but…
I had lost all joy in this simple action.
Gradually the physical pleasure returned but it somehow didn't feel… right.
I felt him hit my prostate and heard myself moan.
It still felt good on the outside, I tried to drown myself in my feeling and concentrate on Gaara but my mind kept wandering to a saddened blankness that scared even me.
Finally I heard his moans louder and felt his cum fill me.
He collapsed on top of me and I kissed his face lightly but I think he could tell that I was slightly out of it. He kissed me back and pulled out rolling off of me.
I felt a few fingers stroke my blond hair and I focused my eyes looking at Gaara.
“What's wrong?” he asked, “You don't look good, was I too hard?”
I shook my head.
“I…can't stay here you know.” I said.
And I saw the momentary flash of what was so obviously sadness across his eyes.
“I know…” he answered but looked extremely disappointed. He was probably praying that I would stay. And it hurt me to leave him after he'd been so kind but I knew it would only hurt us both more if I stayed.
My life has become a soap opera…
“You're in love with Sasuke still?”
I had told him what happened between Sasuke and I but not about who had rapped me. That I swore I'd never tell. I didn't want anyone to know that Itachi rapped me.
I nodded in answer to his question and I think he understood.
Even if he was the one who had wounded my heart it only beat for Sasuke.
I couldn't love anyone else.
Gaara kissed my forehead but I could tell that he was probably on the verge of tears.
(The blizzard is on a rampage! Not only did he make him blush but now he made Gaara cry as well. The devil is quite pissed because he's been snowed in and is threatening to sue…)
He turned his back to me and didn't turn around again.
His breath evened out and I thought he was asleep so finally I turned my back to him as well.
For some reason a wave of guilt over took me.
Why had indulged Gaara's wants just to let him down in the end? It was wrong and I knew I had definitely hurt him or at least left a scar on his heart.
I strained my muscles and stood.
I went to the bathroom and washed up a little then quickly pulled on my clothes and took the backpack Gaara had previously arranged for me.
I scribbled down a short note that thanked him for his kindness and then set off back to Konoha.

Thanks so much I hope you enjoyed it!
this probably has lots of grammatical errors because I didn't get time to send it thorugh my editor or review it myself.
thanks for reading and i'll fix up everything tomorrow.