Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Tolerant Intolerance ❯ One Year Ago Pt.2 ( Chapter 3 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: hatochan 
Raidou and Kakashi have an enlightening conversation over tea.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 02.15.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.5K | Visits: 414 | Status: Work In Progress
Raidou and Kakashi have an enlightening conversation over tea.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 02.15.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.5K | Visits: 414 | Status: Work In Progress
Author's Notes
- I'm slow. I'm sorry, really.
- Special thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!
- Thanks to everyone who read!!!
Warnings: Coarse language, male x male relations ( shounen-ai)
Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
One year Ago.... Part 2
" A-a-and then-then Genma comes screaming into the apartment, hair done up in these tiny b-b-braids and it's bright ORANGE!!!"
" H-holy shit!"
" And he-he was tripping on all my stuff, 'cause I had just f-f-finished teleporting all of it from the Hokage's monument! He fell flat on his f-f-face!"
Kakashi was biting a gloved hand through his mask, trying to stifle the laughter he was already choking on. " Wh-what d-d-did he do?!" His voice was low, barely above a whisper despite the hilarity, fully conscious of the two sleeping nearby; Genma on the couch and Iruka in the back bedroom.
Raidou covered the lower half of his face with his hand, also attempting to keep his chuckles quiet. His watery gaze cast glances over Kakashi's shoulder every now and then, checking on the lightly snoring form in the living area. " You know, he t-tried to wash it out, but-but it was some kinda jutsu, so it repelled water. " He sucked in a lungful of air, careful of making too much noise. " And when he tried to throw a genjutsu over it, to hide it, it t-t-turned LIME GREEN, then PINK!!! With STRIPES!!!"
The two shinobi once again fell into choked giggles, their snorts muffled by heavily clothed forearms and leather gloves. Drawing a deep breath, the silver haired jounin managed to get a hold of himself, withdrawing his teeth from a leather clad fist. He knew there were indentations in his mask where his teeth had separated the fibers. Kakashi was lucky he hadn't bitten through the material. " Kami, all that pay back just for a few pictures?"
Raidou wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, laughter induced tears wetting his skin. " Have you seen the pictures?" At Kakashi's shake of silver hair, the scarred man continued. " It's an entire album of highly erotic, and exceptionally well done I might add, photos of Konoha's cutest chuunin engaged in the hottest of necking with Konoha's sexiest special jounin during the annual jounin-chuunin party. And Genma's dumb ass showed it off in the missions office and the teacher's lounge. That's how Iruka found out that I had taken the pictures. He got us both in the same night. " Raidou's fingers curled around his half empty tea cup, but did not lift the drink from the table. His voice softened considerably, no trace of amusement left. " He broke a week later. "
That erased all the joy from Kakashi's thoughts as well. I knew we'd get to this eventually. I'd just hoped to hear more about the happier times first. The jounin mentally sighed, knowing he was being foolish. He and Raidou had been talking over tea for nearly eight hours, the older shinobi regaling the younger with stories of Iruka's wilder days, some he had been witness to, some heard from Genma and others in the chuunin's acquaintance. I'd heard that Iruka was something of a prankster during his academy days, but I never guessed it followed him through the years. Or that he was such a huge deal in the club circuit, second only to Genma's dance floor ( and bedroom) antics. After so many tales of the dolphin's exuberant youth, Kakashi didn't want to tarnish them with unhappy talk. Get over it, this is important. Besides, you've handled worse shit, Hatake; your own, Yamata's, Ibiki's... Kami, nothing could be worse than Ibiki breaking. He shivered involuntarily, then forced his attention back to the other man. " Can you tell me what happened? "
Raidou wasn't looking at him, brown eyes transfixed by the slight rise and fall of the blanket on the couch. It was a moment before he registered Kakashi's words. " Oh... he finally left Mizuki. It didn't end well, as you can imagine. "
" Iruka and Mizuki?" Kakashi was truly stunned, for the first time in a long time. He remembered at the last second to keep his voice down.
" Yeah." Raidou gave Kakashi a bemused expression. " You didn't know? "
Kakashi ran a quick time line in his head, before giving another shake. " I was in ANBU at the time, away on missions. And I didn't ... socialize much. " That's something of an understatement. I didn't so much as leave my flat unless I was headed out to a mission. That had been a very rough two year period that Kakashi tried very hard to forget. " I wasn't in the loop back then."
" Hell, you didn't need a 'loop'." Raidou muttered, refilling his cup and topping off Kakashi's." There was a fuckin' smoke signal pouring out of Iruka's apartment that day, took half of Konoha to pry Mizuki off. Asuma actually found Naruto curled up in bed underneath the rubble, still fast asleep. "
Naruto? Again, Kakashi found himself stunned, but kept his mouth shut this time. If he interrupted Raidou every time he had some moronic it's-not-that-I-didn't-care-I-was-just-socially-challenged question then he'd never get to the important bits. I came here to find out how Iruka breaks, it's important to know how a colleague breaks in order to react properly, to keep him from becoming a danger to himself and others. So I can help him if it's needed. I did not come here to get a scene by scene replay of his life.
No matter how ridiculously curious I might be.
Raidou seemed oblivious of Kakashi's mental chiding. " Thank kami, that kid could sleep through anything. He never knew what happened, I think Iruka later told him the water heater blew up. Anyway, Genma took them to his place to stay for a few days until Iruka's apartment was repaired and to keep Mizuki from prowling around the two. The day after the fight I had one of Genma's summons pecking away at my window, nearly breaking the glass to get my attention." The large man rubbed a hand through his ruffled hair, voice steady. Raidou's face was thoughtful, though not pained, at recounting the unpleasant memories. " When I got to his flat, I found Naruto sitting outside, crying on the stoop. There was a note slapped on his shirt in Genma's handwriting telling me to take the brat for a couple of days. "
" How did that go ?" Kakashi couldn't help but ask; there were very few people who had actually had the Kyuubi container under their care. He liked to compare notes.
" Well after I convinced him that Iruka wasn't angry with him for spilling cereal all over the floor, I took him to get ramen and dango, took him to my place where he proceeded to destroy my belongings with the methodical efficiency of any five year old , then he fell asleep in the middle of carving his name into my bathroom wall. " Raidou smiled at that, eyes crinkling at the corners, little lines of mirth and nostalgia. " He was a cute kid when he wasn't getting into anything. "
" Glad to know some things never change. " Kakashi smirked beneath his mask. He took a sip of tea through the dark material, careful not to spill. He was honestly fascinated listening to Raidou speak. All these things were going on in the village. All these things were happening and I chose to be ignorant. What else have I missed due to my selfishness? Alright, not the time to get hung up on that. " Did you actually have to keep him a whole two days?"
" Actually it was a whole week. Sandaime just made the babysitting thing into a mission. " Raidou gave a little smirk that faded back into his thoughtful look. " I told Naruto that Iruka had caught a stomach virus and didn't want him to catch it , too. He spent the rest of the week getting me to buy chicken ramen and dolphin plushies to " make 'Ruka-nii-san feel better' . Genma told me about the break afterwards over sake."
" Do Iruka's breaks usually last that long?" Kakashi decided to get back on track with his questioning.
" No, that was... an exceptionally bad time for Iruka. He'd taken over custody of Naruto the year before even though things between him and Mizuki were already strained; but he wouldn't give Naruto up. Anko had just come back to the village, there was that whole mess to deal with. A few months before that there was the inquiry at the school board that almost got Iruka fired, thankfully it was cleared up pretty quickly, but the damage was done. " Raidou peeked into the tea pot. He stood and headed to the sin. The water ran quietly as he spoke over his shoulder. " Genma told me he'd never seen Iruka so bad off and he's been his anchor since he was fifteen. "
" That's quite a while. I didn't realize they'd known each other for so long." Kakashi admitted, draining his now cold tea in one swallow. " I'm glad he's had someone to be there for him, some shinobi aren't as lucky." 'Course, some of us would rather that no one witnessed our cracking, another oddity of Iruka's. Unless, he can't be left alone for some reason.
" Gomen, I've gotten off on a tangent. " Raidou placed the kettle on the stove top and returned to the table. He shrugged out of his flak vest, hanging it on the back of his chair before resting his chin in a cupped hand, laughing softly. " It's just been a while since I've encountered someone who wasn't aware of Iruka's infamous past. "
" Well, I believe it was time well spent. " The silver haired man smiled in gratitude. I've learned more about Iruka in one day of conversation with Raidou than over a dozen nights of sex with the man himself.
" I think so , too. But you really came here to hear about Iruka breaking."
" I'd like to help him if it ever comes up. Perhaps when both you and Genma are away for missions. "
Raidou nodded and gave the other man a thankful grin. " It hasn't happened yet, but it's always been a possibility. It'd be nice to know that someone will be here when we're gone. Hmmm... I'm not really sure where to begin."
" How do I know if he's about to break?" Kakashi offered.
" Oh, that's easy. Iruka'll tell you."
Kakashi blinked, gray disappearing and appearing in rapid succession. " He'll tell you?"
" Once he sent Naruto with a note to the missions office for Genma, but he usually sends one of his summons." Raidou idly picked at a small cut in the table's wooden surface. " So if you're ever attacked by a rabid squirrel, that's 'Ruka telling you to hightail it to his flat."
Rabid squirrels? That really happens?! It was a viable excuse all those times I was late?! Iruka can summon squirrels?! " I'll keep that in mind."
" If you're with him he'll just tell you straight out, then head home, or if he's already at his place straight to the bathroom. The point is, he's able to feel one coming on. " Raidou sat back, one hand slipping under the knot of his hitai-ate and removing the constricting band of cloth and metal. " Iruka'll finish up whatever he's working on and teleport to his flat. A lot of times he'll set everything up, too. I got his summons once and by the time I made it to his apartment he already had music going, the timer set and was in the bath."
" Okay, so Iruka will just tell me when he's going to break. " Kakashi confirmed. Pale fingers drummed softly against the tabletop. " What should I do once he's here?"
Genma rolled over on the couch, throwing his pillow onto the floor. There was a responding snore from Iruka in the bedroom. Kakashi and Raidou waited for a brief tense moment, but neither sleeper stirred again.
" Like I said, Iruka will go straight to the bath. He'll shut the door, but he won't lock it. He knows we could just teleport inside if we wanted. Once he's in the bath there are three things that have to be done, if Iruka hasn't taken care of it himself; fuujikomeru no jutsu, timer set to sixty minutes, music. In that order." Raidou ticked off each item on his fingers.
Kakashi absorbed that bit of information. Okay, bath, jutsu, timer, music. That's something of a weird combination. Not that I'm one to talk.
" You know how to put a muzzle on the apartment, ne?" Raidou questioned.
The younger man resisted the urge to roll his eyes. " Yeah, it's not a problem. " Containment jutsus were popular among educators, corrections and generally any profession that dealt with loud obnoxious ninja ( Kakashi had even seen it cast by the occasional parent seeking a moment's peace). The principle was simple enough; the jutsu used a chakra web to surround the spastic person, keeping their voice and any surges in chakra from leaking out and disturbing those around them. The term ' muzzle' had been born in the academy halls, the sensei slapping it on unruly students the way a handler would physically muzzle an animal. In other situations the web could be stretched to encompass larger areas, not just the one person. Such as a crowded holding cell, or an interrogation chamber... or an apartment with a breaking shinobi. " Have the neighbors complained in the past?"
" Not that I know of." Raidou shook his head, brown hair splaying wildly. " I just think Iruka wants to keep it as quiet as possible. Doesn't want anyone to be concerned. "
" What about the music?"
" The music masks some of the crying, gives him some background noise to help block out external sounds like us doddering around in the kitchen. " Raidou swiftly stood and snatched the pot from the stove before it could whistle. Loose leaves were placed into their silver ball and plunked into the boiling water to steep, the pot set carefully onto a folded towel on the table.
" Iruka has specific CDs marked for it, they're kept on top of the player. Always use those CDs. The rest of his collection is too difficult to decipher the content; you'd never know what you've got until it's already playing. "
Kakashi nodded, deep in thought. Music is used as a sensory block, much like white noise. Makes sense. Fuujikomeru no jutsu is used to keep his privacy, he doesn't want anyone else to know. Which brings up the question..." Most of us break on our own. Why does Iruka need to be watched?" Please don't tell me he'll slit his throat unless someone is standing over him. Or drown himself in the tub. Don't tell me he's that weak.
Raidou shifted in his seat, leaning back and stretching his legs out, apparently taking a roundabout way to answer. " 'Ruka-chan made chuunin a few months after his fifteenth birthday, Genma was still swaggering over his promotion to special jounin. He headed a team with Iruka and two other chuunin on a B-rank to Mist. Retrieval only, which, of course, meant that it turned into an A-rank before they even got hold of the scrolls. Iruka made his first kill on that mission. "
Kakashi knew he was staring. He knew his gray eye was wide open and glowing with wonderment. His mouth was parted beneath the dark mask, not quite gaping, but near enough for the Infamous Copy Nin. He was learning things about Iruka, things he'd never thought of knowing about the quiet academy sensei.
" He put a kunai through a Mist Nin's throat just before the guy could crush Genma in a water jutsu. Genma said he'd been impressed by Iruka's attitude during the battle; calm, collected, deadly. Said he was the perfect picture of a Leaf shinobi. And the kid had saved his life. Iruka took out at least a dozen more ninjas before they made it back into Fire Country, running like hell towards Konoha. When they got back Genma invited the team to a bar to celebrate, since no one had suffered any serious injuries and the night had just begun. Iruka declined saying he just wanted to take a bath and go to bed. Genma and the other two chuunin went on. " Some of the reverie like fog lifted from Raidou's dark eyes, his gaze focusing on the tea pot. He claimed the ceramic and poured for Kakashi and himself. " In the early morning hours, an exceptionally drunk Genma returned to Iruka's flat to ' properly thank' his savior, disabled the traps on the window and snuck into the apartment to find Iruka sitting half conscious in a tub of ice cold water."
" Shit. " The silver haired man muttered under his breath.
The large man sipped his hot brew, as though he needed the heat to dispel the cold images. " Fishing the kid out of the tub was enough to sober Genma up a bit, he had enough wits about him to put Iruka under the hot shower, then wrap him up , force some medicine down his throat and get him to bed. Actually crawled in with him. Genma'll tell you it was about shared body heat and all that noble crap, but he was just too drunk and tired to make it out of the bedroom. And he's a cuddle whore. When he woke up the next morning, Iruka was already in the kitchen making breakfast, gushing apologies and doing his damnedest to make it out to be nothing. "
" Genma convinced him to think otherwise?" Kakashi spoke up.
" They had a heart- to -heart," Raidou replied. " and between Iruka's fever and Genma's hangover they managed to work out an agreement; Iruka would let Genma watch over him, and in turn, Genma would stop putting cigarettes out on himself. "
Kakashi took another sip of tea, grateful he had changed masks before returning to Iruka's flat. This way his drink wasn't tainted by stale sweat and saliva, or the blood and dirt grime left over from his mission. So Genma didn't just grow out of that self mutilation phase. Interesting. The tea had a delicate flavor, Kakashi made a mental note to ask Raidou about it. " So, it's not suicidal tendencies. "
" No, it's nothing so conscious on Iruka's part." Dark lashes fluttered as the older man gathered his words. " Iruka can't break in front of people. He has to have privacy to scream and cry and curse. That's why he shuts the bathroom door, even when he knows we're right outside and we can hear him; he visually shuts us out, closes himself off. He doesn't want anyone to see him in that state. After a certain point, when the anger and frustration drain away, he slips into a sort of depression, loses his grasp of time and where he is. If he wasn't sitting in chin deep water that turns cold after an hour it wouldn't be as much of an issue, but he does so someone has to be here to keep a watch on him. That's why you set the timer. We give him an hour, knock on the door, tell him to drain the tub, wait eight and a half minutes for the tub to drain, knock again, go in, start the hot water, leave, wait eight and a half minutes for the tub to fill, knock, enter, cut off the water, leave, set the timer for one hour, repeat procedure until he's ready to talk or he's too tired to remain upright. " Raidou recited the obviously well memorized routine in a wearied tone, though a light hearted smile curved his lips. " It's usually no more than three or four hours, three to four water changes, before he quiets down, exhausts himself. That's when we start asking him if he wants to talk or get out. We have a basic rule of ' two silent changes' , meaning once he's no longer manic and we've given him another two hours in the tub, then we very nicely tell him to get out."
Kakashi was mildly shocked. It had seemed to him that Iruka was not to be pushed during the whole breaking process. " Does that go over well with him ?"
" We haven't had a problem. And the whole deal is to get him out of the tub as soon as possible. Once he's reached that point then there's no reason for him to stay in there. He won't fight you on it. Even after today's squabble, I just told him it was time to get out and he was totally complacent. Of course, he was on the verge of unconsciousness, without any strength to protest. " Raidou placed his arms on the table top. Brown eyes focused on the single gray. " Get him to drink some tea or water before he goes to sleep and that's it for the hard part. You don't have to stay here after he falls asleep, but check in on him every once in a while. He's supposed to send a summons when he wakes up , then we talk and get him fed before going back to bed. We'll keep checking on him for the next few days , just to ward off any lingering depression and then that's that. Crisis averted. "
I should think about having an anchor of some sort. I mean, I haven't broken in over five years, but... it would certainly help out, maybe I wouldn't be out of commission for a whole two or three weeks. Hell, I nearly dehydrated the last time. If it wasn't for Sandaime hunting me down for a mission I might have- " How often did you say this happens? " Kakashi asked , once again emptying his cup in a single swallow and effectively disrupting his counterproductive line of thinking.
" Let's see... it's been a little over three years since the last one. " The scarred man slumped even further in his chair, bringing his arms above his head in a deep stretch. When he finished, they dropped back to his sides, thumbs hooking into the back of his waistband. " Like I said the past six months have been bad, add to that the past three years. Injured and murdered students, dealing with Naruto, his confrontation with Mizuki , the incident with Genma last summer. All of it piled up and this last tragedy was just too much. "
" Was there a trigger for the last one?"
" Mission related."
" What about the others? How many times since you've known him?"
Raidou stared thoughtfully into his cup, as though his memories were swimming in the translucent liquid. " I'm not sure about things before that first one with Genma, though I'm pretty sure they didn't start with that particular incident. Since then, there was one the year Iruka turned seventeen; that was mission induced. The next year he suffered two breaks. That was the year he took in Naruto and his relationship with Mizuki was on and off. That led to one the following year when he left him; Iruka was only nineteen at the time. "
" Too young to be dealing with that mess. " Kakashi commented.
" You're only a year older, Kakashi-kun." Raidou mocked benevolently.
The silver haired man didn't resist the urge to roll his eyes this time. Kakashi had to grin in good natured agreement. " Granted." But my situation was a little different from Iruka's. He couldn't help but add the contrary thought.
Both men were quiet, their thoughts their own for several minutes. Kakashi's mind was still taking in everything he had learned. That was a lot of shit to absorb all at once. It's... I just didn't expect this sort of thing from Iruka. I was always so envious of his boring little academy life. Guess I know better now. The motion of Raidou's hand across the table caught the Copy Nin's attention.
" The most important thing to remember about the vast array of stuff that I've laid on you today is that Iruka doesn't want to break, he doesn't want to lose control. For someone who teaches kids how to run with sharp objects control is everything. But, Iruka's come to accept the fact that he will break at times and that he needs help when he loses control. " Raidou spoke softly as he fixed Kakashi's one eyed gaze with an even expression. " And everything we do is to make it as easy as possible on Iruka. " He cast a glance at the clock above the stove, pushing off from the table with a tired sigh. " Time to start dinner. Those two will be up soon."
Kakashi looked towards the window over the sink. The blinds had been lowered, merely a sliver of glass and wood exposed below the slats and the jounin could see the deep shadows of early evening on the other side of the panes. It's getting late. I probably should've turned in my mission report. Oh well, I can drop it off tomorrow. " I can help with dinner. "
" You sure?"
" Well, I'm not a culinary master, but I haven't set my kitchen on fire either, so..."
" Point taken. I'll check the fridge for-"
" Rai-chan?" Genma's weak voice came from the couch. Honey colored hair barely peeped out from the voluminous folds of quilts.
" I'll run out to the market." Kakashi quickly assured the darker man.
Raidou nodded and hurried over to the awakening shinobi, kneeling on the floor next to the couch. " Right here, baby." Strong arms circled the bundle of blankets, hands smoothing the mussed hair and soothing the distressed murmurs from Genma. " I'm right here."
Kakashi left the comforting scene, his brain busy recalling the ingredients needed for pork and miso ramen. Naruto said that was Iruka's favorite.
- I'm slow. I'm sorry, really.
- Special thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!
- Thanks to everyone who read!!!
Warnings: Coarse language, male x male relations ( shounen-ai)
Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
One year Ago.... Part 2
" A-a-and then-then Genma comes screaming into the apartment, hair done up in these tiny b-b-braids and it's bright ORANGE!!!"
" H-holy shit!"
" And he-he was tripping on all my stuff, 'cause I had just f-f-finished teleporting all of it from the Hokage's monument! He fell flat on his f-f-face!"
Kakashi was biting a gloved hand through his mask, trying to stifle the laughter he was already choking on. " Wh-what d-d-did he do?!" His voice was low, barely above a whisper despite the hilarity, fully conscious of the two sleeping nearby; Genma on the couch and Iruka in the back bedroom.
Raidou covered the lower half of his face with his hand, also attempting to keep his chuckles quiet. His watery gaze cast glances over Kakashi's shoulder every now and then, checking on the lightly snoring form in the living area. " You know, he t-tried to wash it out, but-but it was some kinda jutsu, so it repelled water. " He sucked in a lungful of air, careful of making too much noise. " And when he tried to throw a genjutsu over it, to hide it, it t-t-turned LIME GREEN, then PINK!!! With STRIPES!!!"
The two shinobi once again fell into choked giggles, their snorts muffled by heavily clothed forearms and leather gloves. Drawing a deep breath, the silver haired jounin managed to get a hold of himself, withdrawing his teeth from a leather clad fist. He knew there were indentations in his mask where his teeth had separated the fibers. Kakashi was lucky he hadn't bitten through the material. " Kami, all that pay back just for a few pictures?"
Raidou wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, laughter induced tears wetting his skin. " Have you seen the pictures?" At Kakashi's shake of silver hair, the scarred man continued. " It's an entire album of highly erotic, and exceptionally well done I might add, photos of Konoha's cutest chuunin engaged in the hottest of necking with Konoha's sexiest special jounin during the annual jounin-chuunin party. And Genma's dumb ass showed it off in the missions office and the teacher's lounge. That's how Iruka found out that I had taken the pictures. He got us both in the same night. " Raidou's fingers curled around his half empty tea cup, but did not lift the drink from the table. His voice softened considerably, no trace of amusement left. " He broke a week later. "
That erased all the joy from Kakashi's thoughts as well. I knew we'd get to this eventually. I'd just hoped to hear more about the happier times first. The jounin mentally sighed, knowing he was being foolish. He and Raidou had been talking over tea for nearly eight hours, the older shinobi regaling the younger with stories of Iruka's wilder days, some he had been witness to, some heard from Genma and others in the chuunin's acquaintance. I'd heard that Iruka was something of a prankster during his academy days, but I never guessed it followed him through the years. Or that he was such a huge deal in the club circuit, second only to Genma's dance floor ( and bedroom) antics. After so many tales of the dolphin's exuberant youth, Kakashi didn't want to tarnish them with unhappy talk. Get over it, this is important. Besides, you've handled worse shit, Hatake; your own, Yamata's, Ibiki's... Kami, nothing could be worse than Ibiki breaking. He shivered involuntarily, then forced his attention back to the other man. " Can you tell me what happened? "
Raidou wasn't looking at him, brown eyes transfixed by the slight rise and fall of the blanket on the couch. It was a moment before he registered Kakashi's words. " Oh... he finally left Mizuki. It didn't end well, as you can imagine. "
" Iruka and Mizuki?" Kakashi was truly stunned, for the first time in a long time. He remembered at the last second to keep his voice down.
" Yeah." Raidou gave Kakashi a bemused expression. " You didn't know? "
Kakashi ran a quick time line in his head, before giving another shake. " I was in ANBU at the time, away on missions. And I didn't ... socialize much. " That's something of an understatement. I didn't so much as leave my flat unless I was headed out to a mission. That had been a very rough two year period that Kakashi tried very hard to forget. " I wasn't in the loop back then."
" Hell, you didn't need a 'loop'." Raidou muttered, refilling his cup and topping off Kakashi's." There was a fuckin' smoke signal pouring out of Iruka's apartment that day, took half of Konoha to pry Mizuki off. Asuma actually found Naruto curled up in bed underneath the rubble, still fast asleep. "
Naruto? Again, Kakashi found himself stunned, but kept his mouth shut this time. If he interrupted Raidou every time he had some moronic it's-not-that-I-didn't-care-I-was-just-socially-challenged question then he'd never get to the important bits. I came here to find out how Iruka breaks, it's important to know how a colleague breaks in order to react properly, to keep him from becoming a danger to himself and others. So I can help him if it's needed. I did not come here to get a scene by scene replay of his life.
No matter how ridiculously curious I might be.
Raidou seemed oblivious of Kakashi's mental chiding. " Thank kami, that kid could sleep through anything. He never knew what happened, I think Iruka later told him the water heater blew up. Anyway, Genma took them to his place to stay for a few days until Iruka's apartment was repaired and to keep Mizuki from prowling around the two. The day after the fight I had one of Genma's summons pecking away at my window, nearly breaking the glass to get my attention." The large man rubbed a hand through his ruffled hair, voice steady. Raidou's face was thoughtful, though not pained, at recounting the unpleasant memories. " When I got to his flat, I found Naruto sitting outside, crying on the stoop. There was a note slapped on his shirt in Genma's handwriting telling me to take the brat for a couple of days. "
" How did that go ?" Kakashi couldn't help but ask; there were very few people who had actually had the Kyuubi container under their care. He liked to compare notes.
" Well after I convinced him that Iruka wasn't angry with him for spilling cereal all over the floor, I took him to get ramen and dango, took him to my place where he proceeded to destroy my belongings with the methodical efficiency of any five year old , then he fell asleep in the middle of carving his name into my bathroom wall. " Raidou smiled at that, eyes crinkling at the corners, little lines of mirth and nostalgia. " He was a cute kid when he wasn't getting into anything. "
" Glad to know some things never change. " Kakashi smirked beneath his mask. He took a sip of tea through the dark material, careful not to spill. He was honestly fascinated listening to Raidou speak. All these things were going on in the village. All these things were happening and I chose to be ignorant. What else have I missed due to my selfishness? Alright, not the time to get hung up on that. " Did you actually have to keep him a whole two days?"
" Actually it was a whole week. Sandaime just made the babysitting thing into a mission. " Raidou gave a little smirk that faded back into his thoughtful look. " I told Naruto that Iruka had caught a stomach virus and didn't want him to catch it , too. He spent the rest of the week getting me to buy chicken ramen and dolphin plushies to " make 'Ruka-nii-san feel better' . Genma told me about the break afterwards over sake."
" Do Iruka's breaks usually last that long?" Kakashi decided to get back on track with his questioning.
" No, that was... an exceptionally bad time for Iruka. He'd taken over custody of Naruto the year before even though things between him and Mizuki were already strained; but he wouldn't give Naruto up. Anko had just come back to the village, there was that whole mess to deal with. A few months before that there was the inquiry at the school board that almost got Iruka fired, thankfully it was cleared up pretty quickly, but the damage was done. " Raidou peeked into the tea pot. He stood and headed to the sin. The water ran quietly as he spoke over his shoulder. " Genma told me he'd never seen Iruka so bad off and he's been his anchor since he was fifteen. "
" That's quite a while. I didn't realize they'd known each other for so long." Kakashi admitted, draining his now cold tea in one swallow. " I'm glad he's had someone to be there for him, some shinobi aren't as lucky." 'Course, some of us would rather that no one witnessed our cracking, another oddity of Iruka's. Unless, he can't be left alone for some reason.
" Gomen, I've gotten off on a tangent. " Raidou placed the kettle on the stove top and returned to the table. He shrugged out of his flak vest, hanging it on the back of his chair before resting his chin in a cupped hand, laughing softly. " It's just been a while since I've encountered someone who wasn't aware of Iruka's infamous past. "
" Well, I believe it was time well spent. " The silver haired man smiled in gratitude. I've learned more about Iruka in one day of conversation with Raidou than over a dozen nights of sex with the man himself.
" I think so , too. But you really came here to hear about Iruka breaking."
" I'd like to help him if it ever comes up. Perhaps when both you and Genma are away for missions. "
Raidou nodded and gave the other man a thankful grin. " It hasn't happened yet, but it's always been a possibility. It'd be nice to know that someone will be here when we're gone. Hmmm... I'm not really sure where to begin."
" How do I know if he's about to break?" Kakashi offered.
" Oh, that's easy. Iruka'll tell you."
Kakashi blinked, gray disappearing and appearing in rapid succession. " He'll tell you?"
" Once he sent Naruto with a note to the missions office for Genma, but he usually sends one of his summons." Raidou idly picked at a small cut in the table's wooden surface. " So if you're ever attacked by a rabid squirrel, that's 'Ruka telling you to hightail it to his flat."
Rabid squirrels? That really happens?! It was a viable excuse all those times I was late?! Iruka can summon squirrels?! " I'll keep that in mind."
" If you're with him he'll just tell you straight out, then head home, or if he's already at his place straight to the bathroom. The point is, he's able to feel one coming on. " Raidou sat back, one hand slipping under the knot of his hitai-ate and removing the constricting band of cloth and metal. " Iruka'll finish up whatever he's working on and teleport to his flat. A lot of times he'll set everything up, too. I got his summons once and by the time I made it to his apartment he already had music going, the timer set and was in the bath."
" Okay, so Iruka will just tell me when he's going to break. " Kakashi confirmed. Pale fingers drummed softly against the tabletop. " What should I do once he's here?"
Genma rolled over on the couch, throwing his pillow onto the floor. There was a responding snore from Iruka in the bedroom. Kakashi and Raidou waited for a brief tense moment, but neither sleeper stirred again.
" Like I said, Iruka will go straight to the bath. He'll shut the door, but he won't lock it. He knows we could just teleport inside if we wanted. Once he's in the bath there are three things that have to be done, if Iruka hasn't taken care of it himself; fuujikomeru no jutsu, timer set to sixty minutes, music. In that order." Raidou ticked off each item on his fingers.
Kakashi absorbed that bit of information. Okay, bath, jutsu, timer, music. That's something of a weird combination. Not that I'm one to talk.
" You know how to put a muzzle on the apartment, ne?" Raidou questioned.
The younger man resisted the urge to roll his eyes. " Yeah, it's not a problem. " Containment jutsus were popular among educators, corrections and generally any profession that dealt with loud obnoxious ninja ( Kakashi had even seen it cast by the occasional parent seeking a moment's peace). The principle was simple enough; the jutsu used a chakra web to surround the spastic person, keeping their voice and any surges in chakra from leaking out and disturbing those around them. The term ' muzzle' had been born in the academy halls, the sensei slapping it on unruly students the way a handler would physically muzzle an animal. In other situations the web could be stretched to encompass larger areas, not just the one person. Such as a crowded holding cell, or an interrogation chamber... or an apartment with a breaking shinobi. " Have the neighbors complained in the past?"
" Not that I know of." Raidou shook his head, brown hair splaying wildly. " I just think Iruka wants to keep it as quiet as possible. Doesn't want anyone to be concerned. "
" What about the music?"
" The music masks some of the crying, gives him some background noise to help block out external sounds like us doddering around in the kitchen. " Raidou swiftly stood and snatched the pot from the stove before it could whistle. Loose leaves were placed into their silver ball and plunked into the boiling water to steep, the pot set carefully onto a folded towel on the table.
" Iruka has specific CDs marked for it, they're kept on top of the player. Always use those CDs. The rest of his collection is too difficult to decipher the content; you'd never know what you've got until it's already playing. "
Kakashi nodded, deep in thought. Music is used as a sensory block, much like white noise. Makes sense. Fuujikomeru no jutsu is used to keep his privacy, he doesn't want anyone else to know. Which brings up the question..." Most of us break on our own. Why does Iruka need to be watched?" Please don't tell me he'll slit his throat unless someone is standing over him. Or drown himself in the tub. Don't tell me he's that weak.
Raidou shifted in his seat, leaning back and stretching his legs out, apparently taking a roundabout way to answer. " 'Ruka-chan made chuunin a few months after his fifteenth birthday, Genma was still swaggering over his promotion to special jounin. He headed a team with Iruka and two other chuunin on a B-rank to Mist. Retrieval only, which, of course, meant that it turned into an A-rank before they even got hold of the scrolls. Iruka made his first kill on that mission. "
Kakashi knew he was staring. He knew his gray eye was wide open and glowing with wonderment. His mouth was parted beneath the dark mask, not quite gaping, but near enough for the Infamous Copy Nin. He was learning things about Iruka, things he'd never thought of knowing about the quiet academy sensei.
" He put a kunai through a Mist Nin's throat just before the guy could crush Genma in a water jutsu. Genma said he'd been impressed by Iruka's attitude during the battle; calm, collected, deadly. Said he was the perfect picture of a Leaf shinobi. And the kid had saved his life. Iruka took out at least a dozen more ninjas before they made it back into Fire Country, running like hell towards Konoha. When they got back Genma invited the team to a bar to celebrate, since no one had suffered any serious injuries and the night had just begun. Iruka declined saying he just wanted to take a bath and go to bed. Genma and the other two chuunin went on. " Some of the reverie like fog lifted from Raidou's dark eyes, his gaze focusing on the tea pot. He claimed the ceramic and poured for Kakashi and himself. " In the early morning hours, an exceptionally drunk Genma returned to Iruka's flat to ' properly thank' his savior, disabled the traps on the window and snuck into the apartment to find Iruka sitting half conscious in a tub of ice cold water."
" Shit. " The silver haired man muttered under his breath.
The large man sipped his hot brew, as though he needed the heat to dispel the cold images. " Fishing the kid out of the tub was enough to sober Genma up a bit, he had enough wits about him to put Iruka under the hot shower, then wrap him up , force some medicine down his throat and get him to bed. Actually crawled in with him. Genma'll tell you it was about shared body heat and all that noble crap, but he was just too drunk and tired to make it out of the bedroom. And he's a cuddle whore. When he woke up the next morning, Iruka was already in the kitchen making breakfast, gushing apologies and doing his damnedest to make it out to be nothing. "
" Genma convinced him to think otherwise?" Kakashi spoke up.
" They had a heart- to -heart," Raidou replied. " and between Iruka's fever and Genma's hangover they managed to work out an agreement; Iruka would let Genma watch over him, and in turn, Genma would stop putting cigarettes out on himself. "
Kakashi took another sip of tea, grateful he had changed masks before returning to Iruka's flat. This way his drink wasn't tainted by stale sweat and saliva, or the blood and dirt grime left over from his mission. So Genma didn't just grow out of that self mutilation phase. Interesting. The tea had a delicate flavor, Kakashi made a mental note to ask Raidou about it. " So, it's not suicidal tendencies. "
" No, it's nothing so conscious on Iruka's part." Dark lashes fluttered as the older man gathered his words. " Iruka can't break in front of people. He has to have privacy to scream and cry and curse. That's why he shuts the bathroom door, even when he knows we're right outside and we can hear him; he visually shuts us out, closes himself off. He doesn't want anyone to see him in that state. After a certain point, when the anger and frustration drain away, he slips into a sort of depression, loses his grasp of time and where he is. If he wasn't sitting in chin deep water that turns cold after an hour it wouldn't be as much of an issue, but he does so someone has to be here to keep a watch on him. That's why you set the timer. We give him an hour, knock on the door, tell him to drain the tub, wait eight and a half minutes for the tub to drain, knock again, go in, start the hot water, leave, wait eight and a half minutes for the tub to fill, knock, enter, cut off the water, leave, set the timer for one hour, repeat procedure until he's ready to talk or he's too tired to remain upright. " Raidou recited the obviously well memorized routine in a wearied tone, though a light hearted smile curved his lips. " It's usually no more than three or four hours, three to four water changes, before he quiets down, exhausts himself. That's when we start asking him if he wants to talk or get out. We have a basic rule of ' two silent changes' , meaning once he's no longer manic and we've given him another two hours in the tub, then we very nicely tell him to get out."
Kakashi was mildly shocked. It had seemed to him that Iruka was not to be pushed during the whole breaking process. " Does that go over well with him ?"
" We haven't had a problem. And the whole deal is to get him out of the tub as soon as possible. Once he's reached that point then there's no reason for him to stay in there. He won't fight you on it. Even after today's squabble, I just told him it was time to get out and he was totally complacent. Of course, he was on the verge of unconsciousness, without any strength to protest. " Raidou placed his arms on the table top. Brown eyes focused on the single gray. " Get him to drink some tea or water before he goes to sleep and that's it for the hard part. You don't have to stay here after he falls asleep, but check in on him every once in a while. He's supposed to send a summons when he wakes up , then we talk and get him fed before going back to bed. We'll keep checking on him for the next few days , just to ward off any lingering depression and then that's that. Crisis averted. "
I should think about having an anchor of some sort. I mean, I haven't broken in over five years, but... it would certainly help out, maybe I wouldn't be out of commission for a whole two or three weeks. Hell, I nearly dehydrated the last time. If it wasn't for Sandaime hunting me down for a mission I might have- " How often did you say this happens? " Kakashi asked , once again emptying his cup in a single swallow and effectively disrupting his counterproductive line of thinking.
" Let's see... it's been a little over three years since the last one. " The scarred man slumped even further in his chair, bringing his arms above his head in a deep stretch. When he finished, they dropped back to his sides, thumbs hooking into the back of his waistband. " Like I said the past six months have been bad, add to that the past three years. Injured and murdered students, dealing with Naruto, his confrontation with Mizuki , the incident with Genma last summer. All of it piled up and this last tragedy was just too much. "
" Was there a trigger for the last one?"
" Mission related."
" What about the others? How many times since you've known him?"
Raidou stared thoughtfully into his cup, as though his memories were swimming in the translucent liquid. " I'm not sure about things before that first one with Genma, though I'm pretty sure they didn't start with that particular incident. Since then, there was one the year Iruka turned seventeen; that was mission induced. The next year he suffered two breaks. That was the year he took in Naruto and his relationship with Mizuki was on and off. That led to one the following year when he left him; Iruka was only nineteen at the time. "
" Too young to be dealing with that mess. " Kakashi commented.
" You're only a year older, Kakashi-kun." Raidou mocked benevolently.
The silver haired man didn't resist the urge to roll his eyes this time. Kakashi had to grin in good natured agreement. " Granted." But my situation was a little different from Iruka's. He couldn't help but add the contrary thought.
Both men were quiet, their thoughts their own for several minutes. Kakashi's mind was still taking in everything he had learned. That was a lot of shit to absorb all at once. It's... I just didn't expect this sort of thing from Iruka. I was always so envious of his boring little academy life. Guess I know better now. The motion of Raidou's hand across the table caught the Copy Nin's attention.
" The most important thing to remember about the vast array of stuff that I've laid on you today is that Iruka doesn't want to break, he doesn't want to lose control. For someone who teaches kids how to run with sharp objects control is everything. But, Iruka's come to accept the fact that he will break at times and that he needs help when he loses control. " Raidou spoke softly as he fixed Kakashi's one eyed gaze with an even expression. " And everything we do is to make it as easy as possible on Iruka. " He cast a glance at the clock above the stove, pushing off from the table with a tired sigh. " Time to start dinner. Those two will be up soon."
Kakashi looked towards the window over the sink. The blinds had been lowered, merely a sliver of glass and wood exposed below the slats and the jounin could see the deep shadows of early evening on the other side of the panes. It's getting late. I probably should've turned in my mission report. Oh well, I can drop it off tomorrow. " I can help with dinner. "
" You sure?"
" Well, I'm not a culinary master, but I haven't set my kitchen on fire either, so..."
" Point taken. I'll check the fridge for-"
" Rai-chan?" Genma's weak voice came from the couch. Honey colored hair barely peeped out from the voluminous folds of quilts.
" I'll run out to the market." Kakashi quickly assured the darker man.
Raidou nodded and hurried over to the awakening shinobi, kneeling on the floor next to the couch. " Right here, baby." Strong arms circled the bundle of blankets, hands smoothing the mussed hair and soothing the distressed murmurs from Genma. " I'm right here."
Kakashi left the comforting scene, his brain busy recalling the ingredients needed for pork and miso ramen. Naruto said that was Iruka's favorite.