Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Trinity Chronicles: Rewind ❯ Chapter 6

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Omega X

Team 7: Forget the Bells! Grab the Book!

----------------------------

Uzumaki Naruto yawned. He scratched his earlobe. Then he scratched his head. He moaned a moment as he was sitting side by side with his teammates, feeling somewhat bored with the short walk he had, going from classroom to roof.

It was only a few minutes, but the whole world suddenly turned somewhat dull without Laharl and Buds.

“Now that we are all here, let's have an introduction,” Kakashi called. “Your name, likes, dislikes, and dreams. Alright... let's start!”

Sakura looked somewhat confused and nervous. “Um, sensei... why don't you give us an example?”

“Alright... sure,” Kakashi declared, and began introducing himself while Naruto's mind went to other places... mainly his thoughts of his teammates.

There was Uchiha Sasuke, a. k. a., Chicken Butt. Name was derived after realizing that a chicken's feathered buttocks looks like the bastard's little pretty head. He has two, and apparently only two goals... to sleep with women to keep his clan from dying, and to kill Uchiha Itachi... his brother. However, apparently, he has no interest in women now... or probably ever, so he'll be gunning after his brother first.

Haruna Sakura... a. k. a. Natural Pinky. Her family is one of the few ninjas that have pink hair, like how Naruto, out of the three Uzumaki brothers, was the only one who has the whiskers (Buds and Laharl have expressed gratitude over that). Her life-long dream is to annoy Sasuke to death. Why? Only the gods know. Apparently, it's some ritual in Konoha where academic girls try to mark their territory all over one boy... the only one who seemed not interested in playing that game was Hinata.

Then there's that Hatake Kakashi, a. k. a. Orange Book Lover. Naruto only remembered just one thing about the man... he was an ass. Seriously... the man took a team, talked about teamwork and when it mattered, his focus only went to one student. Yup... one student. Two guesses on who, but you only need one.

“Alright... you're next, blonde monkey,” Kakashi's voice declared.

Naruto's mind was still on his memories of his teammates, practically ignoring his sensei. He sighed, as he knew his thoughts were somewhat unbecoming of him. Hadn't he learned to let go of petty squabbling and unnecessary hate over the past hundred years or so? Didn't before he began traveling around Universes, Hatake Kakashi was one of the few who had supported him when all faith around Naruto was falling down? Didn't Haruno Sakura mature under the tutelage of Tsunade, who at that time, was the Gondaime Hokage. While Sasuke was still an ass... they at least respected each other in the end, didn't they?

“Oi... dobe!” Sasuke called. “You're lagging us.”

“Yeah... get with the program, stupid!” Sakura growled, and hit Naruto on the back of his head.

The blonde Uzumaki fell, his face hitting the floor and kicking him out of his reverie. His head rose slowly, his whole body shaking. There was a slight unnerving moment for the whole team when he began chuckling rather darkly... then, as quickly as it came, his evil chuckle disappeared when he laughed aloud.

“Nya, nya!” Naruto smiled as he sat back up, scratching the back of his head. “Sorry `bout that! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like my brothers... Laharl for the pranks, and Buds for the food. I like ramen as well! I also like... uh... someone...” he paused. “I dislike asses, bastards, and snakes! And that super slow three minutes for cup-ramen to cook! My dream is to find a certain person... and... oh yeah. Become Hokage!”

Hataka Kakashi had heard a lot in his life...motives of revenge, the kunoichi having a heavy crush on her teammate, a shinobi who would either want a girl or get stronger than a rival... but none as ambitious as Naruto's claim to become Hokage. And to make it even more ridiculous, he said it in a half-assed way, it was almost a last thought.

“Interesting bunch,” Kakashi declared, now that all introductions were over. “Now that we all know each other, tomorrow, we're going to partake in missions.”

Sakura looked between themselves, and raised her hand. “Ano... what kind of missions, sensei?”

“First, we are doing something we can do with just the four of us,” Kakashi explained, his tone now going somewhat serious.”

“Like... what?” Naruto asked, knowing full well what Kakashi was going to say.

“Survival training.”

“Why is our first mission... training?” Sakura asked, a bit confused. “We did enough training at the academy.”

“This isn't normal training,” Kakashi replied.

“Not... normal?”

It was Kakashi's turn to chuckle darkly as Sakura asked that question, scaring the kunoichi.

“What's so funny, sensei?” Sakura asked nervously.

“Hehe... its not really that funny, but when you guys here this... you'll flip,” Kakashi's eyes closed, and his mouth mask forming a crease.

Naruto guessed that the jounin was smirking.

“Of twenty-seven graduates, only nine will be chosen as genin,” Kakashi declared. “The rest-”

“PIUUUU! Wrong!” Naruto suddenly declared, forming an X with his arms. Kakashi, Sakura, and even Sasuke blinked at surprise at his sudden reaction. “You're wrong sensei!”

“Oh?” the jounin asked. “I'm wrong, blonde monkey?”

“Hehe... and you call yourself a jounin!” Naruto stood up. “First of all... there are twenty-nine graduates!” and he smirked. “And if you think that my brother's and I won't make it to genin... think again, scarecrow!”

“Hoh? Optimistic, aren't we?” Kakashi seemed to smile once more. “Say hi to your brothers for me when you see them back at the academy.”

“Wha... academy?” Sakura asked.

“Let me continue before I was interrupted,” the jounin cleared his throat. “Of twenty-se… uh, nine graduates, only nine will ever have a chance to become genin. The rest will be sent back to the academy. This training I'm about to spring will be a highly difficult test with a failure of sixty-six percent.”

Out of the three genins in Team 7, only Sakura's face changed, looking disbelieved.

“B-but... we worked hard!” Sakura declared, sitting straight up. “Why did we graduate in the first place?”

“Oh, that was just to select those who have a chance to become genin,” Kakashi chuckled. “Told you guys would flip.”

“Eh...!?” Sakura groaned softly, looking somewhat pale and sickly. Her thoughts of being separated from her crush was sloshing in her head like a tidal wave to the shore.

Sasuke, while his face stayed the same, his hands were noticeably shaking.

Naruto entertained himself by picking on his nose.

“Tomorrow, you will be graded on the training field,” the jounin declared. “Bring all your equipment, and assemble at five in the morning. Dismissed.”

Kakashi seemed poised to leave, but then, turned back towards his students.

“Oh... and skip breakfast,” he muttered. “You'll throw up.”

“I call BS!” Naruto smirked. Kakashi's narrowed at his response, but said no more, and jumped away from view, leaving Team 7 alone.

“Well, see you guys tomorrow,” the blonde Uzumaki declared, waving his hands towards Sakura and Sasuke, and left them alone. He was pretty sure that the Pinky would ask Chicken Butt for a date, and get rejected for it.

Outside, Naruto took it slow for the first time, not really rushing to get home. His thoughts were getting darker as everything suddenly seemed to pile up in his head… it was rather funny, to him, that just earlier, he was about to behave civilly towards his team, knowing full well that they would grow up out of their current attitudes.

However, those little insults from Kakashi and Sasuke with the hit from Sakura (who also insulted him, by the way) was the last straw. Before he realized it, he was kissing the floor, the dark chuckle escaping his lips while his mind just screamed for one thing.

PRANK THEM! PRANK THEM!

Oh yes... why wait until the inevitable growth and maturity, when they are acting like a bunch of asses, bastards and annoyances right now? He chuckled once again, feeling the dark emotions rising from his chest. It became louder and louder, garnering the attention of almost all the people in the area. They stared at him rather nervously.

Let tomorrow come… and they will fear the Prankster! Naruto thought, finally laughing out loud.

“And you say my laugh is annoying.”

The blonde Uzumaki blinked in surprise, and saw Laharl and Buds, supporting each other on the corner of the street. Their respective clothes were torn, burnt and dirty, and their faces were bruised enough to warrant some concern from the blonde Uzumaki.

“You guys look like crap,” Naruto declared.

“Not only do we look like crap... but we feel like crap as well,” Buds replied, noticeably cheery.

“And any reason why you're... happy?” Naruto asked.

“Well... according to our sensei, we are now officially part of Team 9,” he brown-haired Uzumaki declared.

“What happened?” the blonde asked.

“Survival training,” Laharl declared, before Buds could open his mouth. He didn't trust the blabbermouth to shut it about Ami beating them (though they won, he insisted). “Special survival training.”

“Meh,” Naruto growled. “Our survival training's tomorrow. The bell test most probably...”

“Well, you already know what to do, right?” Buds stated as the three began to walk home. “Just ask the pinky, and the emo to team up with you...”

“No.”

“Huh?” the brown-haired Uzumaki looked at his brother, confused. “No? No to what exactly?”

“I'm not going to ask Pinky and Chicken Butt to team up with me...” Naruto smirked somewhat. “I'm going to do something a wee bit... different.”

Laharl and Buds knew that smirk very well.

“I am going to prank them.”

Oh yes, the two brothers thought. The Prankster's been brought forth. May God have mercy on the poor wenches' souls. Rest in Peace. And all that she-bang.

----------------------------

Sakura moaned as she rubbed her empty stomach. Kakashi had told Team 7 to meet him at the training grounds at five in the morning, and it was now eleven. Damn the teacher, her inner thoughts growled, fuming that the jounin was very, very, very late... she was at her last straw. Thoughts of wanton murder, decapitation and castration entered her head, bubbling forth like boiling water... but she could never show her thoughts. Never! Not when Sasuke was there.

Too bad Uchiha Sasuke was too busy to even notice the girl. He was sitting under a tree, pretending to be rather unemotional, though if one looked carefully, his eyes ticked every once in a while, his pinky flexing somewhat. His bottom was also now unfeeling... he had been sitting at the same spot for four hours already. His thoughts too, were on his jounin-sensei, and like Sakura, it was dark and promising of pain.

Oddly enough, the only other person who was absent, other than Kakashi, was Naruto. The blonde `dead last' hadn't appeared since their separation yesterday, and they didn't care much on his absence. Sakura welcomed it, more out of the fact she was left along with her crush, and Sasuke as well, though in his case, felt there were less people dragging him down.

“YO! Pinky! Chicken Butt!”

Sakura and Sasuke were surprised to hear Naruto's voice calling them. They easily spotted the orange-wearing Uzumaki as he approached them, waving his left arm. As he came closer, a sweet, appetizing smell wafted through the training grounds, making the pink-haired shinobi and the raven-haired Uchiha remembered how hungry they were.

It wasn't a good sensation... and to make it even worse, the aroma came from Naruto, who had a dango stick sticking out of his lips.

“Nya... Buds was right... dango's good,” the blonde Uzumaki declared, smacking his lips with satisfaction. His two teammates could only follow his actions with careful eyes.

“Naruto!” Sakura suddenly declared, clutching her stomach. “You're late! And why have you eaten!? Did you forget what Kakashi-sensei said?”

“What... did I miss training?” he asked.

“Uh... no...” the kunoichi replied.

“Then I'm not late!” Naruto smirked at her, and patted her back, ignoring her mad-stricken face when he made contact. He smiled towards Sasuke, who ignored him, and smacked his lips once more. “Ahhh... never had a more satisfying breakfast! My brother is a mean cook... he has this fried rice mixed with caramelized onions and roasted garlic, plus the way he can make a great corned beef is just astounding!”

Sakura groaned once more as her stomach made that growling sound, wanting to be fed. Sasuke looked stoic... until his also began to grumble.

“And the smell... oh my God. You cannot believe how great it smells,” the blonde Uzumaki continued, ignoring the killing intent that surrounded him as his two teammates' eyes became red and dangerous. He seemed even more oblivious to the fact that they had gotten their kunais out, ready to stab him at the back.

“Hoh... seems everybody's here.”

Kakashi's voice snapped Sakura and Sasuke out of their funk as the three genins of Team 7 looked up from the tree, and saw their jounin sensei smiling down on them.

“YOU'RE LATE, DAMNIT!” Sakura snapped, her anger shifting from the blonde Uzumaki to Kakashi. “WHAT TOOK YOU!?”

“Mah, mah,” Kakashi waved at the kunoichi's anger. “I was lost on the road of life.”

“LIAR!” Sakura declared.

“I call BS again!” Naruto muttered at the same time.

“Heh...” the jounin smirked, looking somewhat amused. “Now that I'm here... its time to get on with the test.”

Kakashi approached the three wooden posts in the middle of the field, and placed an alarm clock on top of the middle one. Sasuke and Sakura looked curious as Kakashi then began to extract two bells from his pockets. Naruto rolled his eyes... he knew it was coming.

“Today's task...” the jounin flexed his fingers a bit, making the bells ring, “is to take these two bells from me before noon. Those who cannot get a bell by noon do not get lunch.”

Sakura made a noise.

“And for fun... I'll not only tie you to one of those posts, but I'll eat right in front of you.”

Sasuke's face was bloated with annoyance and anger, much to Naruto's enjoyment, while Sakura clutched her stomach, which began rumbling again.

“No fair, sensei! Naruto ate!” Sakura glowered.

“Is that true?” Kakashi asked the blonde.

“Yup,” Naruto replied. “A ninja must always be prepared! Plus, I called you on BS.”

“Oh... interesting,” Kakashi declared, his eyes narrowing.

“Uh... wait!” Sakura declared, as a thought hit her. “Why are there only two bells?”

“Hmmm...” and the jounin smirked underneath his mask. “Because there are two, one of you will definitely be tied to a post. Also... that person fails.”

Sakura's eyes widened, and Sasuke's narrowed.

“See? I'm very kind. At least, only one of you will be sent back to the academy,” Kakashi declared, enjoying every minute it. “But remember... it could just be one... but it could all be three. Use anything on your arsenal. You won't even come close to getting it without intending to kill me.”

Sakura looked worried. “But... sensei... you couldn't even dodge a bucket of water! You'd be in danger!”

“Your loss then, Pinky,” the jounin declared. “Would be quite a comeback in the academy... especially when you were beaten by Mr. Dead Last blonde monkey here.”

“I'm so going to kick your ass, scarecrow,” Naruto growled, his words coming out acidly. His hand dove towards his kunai pocket.

“Sure...” Kakashi's eyes narrowed. “When I say start... ready...?”

Sasuke and Sakura tensed, their legs ready to jump.

“START!”

----------------------------

Around the training area, concealed so well that not even the animals felt uncomfortable around them, was a unit of Narutos slowly moving from area to area, split in groups. Using hand signals that all of them understood, they began to invade the area, unknown to Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke.

In front, one of the Naruto's signaled something towards the others. Nodding, they all then split, and began to move in different directions.

----------------------------

“Umm... I think you're a bit confused, blonde monkey,” Kakashi declared when he saw Naruto standing along in the open when the other two genins hid their presence effectively.

“The only thing that is confused is your hair-style,” Naruto smirked. With deliberation, he suddenly charged towards the jounin.

Kakashi, much to his disbelief, wondered how badly this was going to turn out for the Uzumaki. But then again, he was the academy's dead last... and he now saw the reason why. Orange jumpsuit? Quick to anger? Sighing, the jounin then put his hand on left saddle pocket, hoping to intimidate the genin.

He was wrong.

So... that's where you keep the book! Naruto smirked.

“First lesson...” Kakashi declared, going for his pockets, but then was forced to shift his body and raise his other arm when a flying kick came from his side.

What? the jounin thought. He was then forced again to duck as Naruto did a quick follow-up by twisting in the air, now kicking the jounin with his other foot in a different direction. He missed, but caught himself well, and landed cleanly on the ground, impressing those watching him.

“First lesson is taijutsu,” Naruto smirked. “Sorry sensei... but... this lesson, I'm good at!”

What came next was a fast jab towards the jounin's side, which he deflected easily with a slap, but Naruto came back with sweep. Jumping in the air, Kakashi was once again caught by surprise when the sweep followed up with Naruto shifting his whole weight down towards his hands, planting them firmly to the ground, and twisted his waist and legs up in a circular motion.

Naruto felt his feet hit something, as it was almost impossible to dodge attacks from mid-flight, but knew that Kakashi had blocked his attacks using his two hands. He didn't stop his attack as his feet were on the ground once more, his eyes looking towards his target. Spotting the jounin just recovering from his jump, he didn't hesitate, and rushed through.

Impressive, but... Kakashi saw an opening. Dodging the reckless haymaker the blonde just used, he got behind him, and formed a Tiger Seal on his hands.

“Ninja's aren't supposed to get caught behind. Konoha Taijutsu Ougi...” the jounin declared. He then shoved his hands right towards Naruto's buttocks. “One Thousand Years of Pain!”

Sasuke, hidden in the tree, could only shake his head at the whole scene as Naruto flew off towards the nearby lake, his hands on his butt. For some reason, the whole seriousness of the fight scene he had just witnessed was just thrown out of the window by one stupid attack.

Sakura could only look with a slight blush. “What the... that wasn't ninjutsu...”

----------------------------

The Naruto clones were now at the place where Kakashi had hidden the bento lunch boxes, and hid them away, replacing them with another lunch box, almost similar to the ones that they hid away. Some of the Narutos were smirking, while the Naruto leading them looked somber, and signaled them to disperse.

One by one, they popped like balloons, disappearing in a puff of smoke and giving all their memories to the original Naruto, telling him that the deed was done.

----------------------------

“Hehehe... ninja's aren't supposed to get caught from behind, Sensei...” a Naruto declared, surprising the jounin as he was caught off guard. Kakashi had been too busy focusing on the Naruto clones coming from the water he hadn't caught the one going behind him.

Kakashi could only watch in awe and shock as the Naruto clones charging at him went for his limbs, trapping him in place.

“My ass still hurts from the last attack!” another Naruto declared, jumping towards the air. “Taste my rightful punch!”

Kakashi chuckled quietly as he preformed a kawarimi, grabbing one of the Naruto clones, and moved him to his original position before he hid his presence away towards one of the bushes. He watched as the flying Naruto hit the clone and dispersed at the impact. Hoping to cause a rift of distrust between the clones, he was surprised once more when the Narutos looked at each other, and spread out, disappearing from view.

Good taijutsu, good head... but he is apparently also quick to anger, and tend to rush things... Kakashi looked thoughtful. Could be an act, though... am I underestimating him?

The jounin's senses alerted him, and he used kawarimi once again as a flurry of kunai and shuriken came at him from a direction.

Up above the trees, Sasuke wondered for a moment if he had caught Kakashi off guard. The jounin had been exposing his back for quite a while, studying the Naruto clones' actions, and when he found the opportune chance to strike, Sasuke took it... only to realize he had been duped when a thick wooden branch came out of the bushes.

Kakashi, hidden away once more, smiled as the Uchiha reacted as the standards called for it... he moved out of position, though by doing so, the jounin could indefinitely follow him. He also sensed Sakura moving out of her hiding place of the bushes, but in a different direction, away from Sasuke.

I suppose I should take care of the Uchiha first, Kakashi thought. He could always take care of Sakura later... but that left the dead last on the missing list.

Oh well... his thoughts continued. If he ever saw Naruto again, he'll have to make adjustments.

----------------------------

Sasuke-kun... where did you go? Sakura asked mentally as she ran towards the direction where she thought she last saw the boy. She had wanted to see her crush in action, but other than the projectiles he had thrown, the only real battle she had seen so far is that rather impressive taijutsu display of the blonde Uzumaki.

It wasn't really a surprise, but it did come to her as a jolt. The Uzumaki triplets were in fact, favored to become one team at one point for being combat specialists... but that rumor died the day Naruto had failed the test. It was revived, though, when the blonde Uzumaki entered the classroom with his forehead protector, but then, quickly died a natural death when Team 7 was announced.

Before graduation, there were even rumors that Uchiha Sasuke had been interested in fighting one of the Uzumakis... but then, the results of the match were not conclusive. Some say Sasuke had won easily, which Sakura had firmly believed... others say the Uzumakis had rejected the challenge, opting to just spend time at that Ramen stand they usually hung about.

Of course, there were rumors that Sasuke had lost the challenge. Ridiculous though, Sakura thought.

“Ne, ne, Pinky!”

Sakura, shocked, slipped on a wet patch of grass as Naruto suddenly appeared from her side.

“WHAT!?” the pink-haired kunoichi declared as she stood up, and slammed the blonde genin to a tree, her hand on his collar jacket. He just scared the crap out of her, appearing like that out of the blue! “What do you want!?”

“Um... Sakura-chan,” Naruto paused a moment, wondering what he wanted to say. “Hey... I was wondering... could we team up?”

“Huh?” Sakura asked, looking surprised. “Team up? Why?”

“Well, frankly... Kakashi's a very good ninja,” the blonde Uzumaki declared. “I... I don't think any of us can beat him alone, so I wondered if you'd like to team up. With your brains, and my skills, I'm sure we can both beat him!”

Sakura looked at Naruto as if he grew a new head, impressed at the assessment. Now that he said it, he was right. Nodding, the pink-haired kunoichi smiled.

“Yeah! You're right! I gotta find Sasuke-kun then! Maybe he'll team up with me!” she stated dreamily.

“Uh... what about me?” Naruto asked. This was his plan after all... and he did ask first.

“What about you?” Sakura glowered before turning around, and leave. “Even if I team up with you, we'd lose! You're not Sasuke-kun!”

“But... but Sakura!”

The kunoichi took a few steps away from the blonde, hoping to get a clue where her crush may have went. She was already quite ready to leave Naruto completely alone until she heard a surprised gasp coming from him. And a soft moan.

“Sa... Sakura...!? What are you... umph!”

“Hehe... you're so cute at that age...”

Wha... that's my voice! the kunoichi thought.

Slowly sneaking towards the trees, she took a sneak peek towards the blonde Uzumaki, and her eyes widened when she spotted one of the most horrific scenes she had ever seen in her whole life... an image of her likeness licking Naruto.

It was the crudest henge of her. Somewhat taller, older, and a bit meatier on the hips, legs, butt, the older Sakura had probably one of the most humongous pair of breast she has ever seen on any person. What was even worse was that perverted look that the fake Sakura had as she kissed and licked the blonde... pervert!

“You... you sick idiot!” Sakura screamed, coming out of your hiding place. Naruto jumped, seeing two pink-haired kunoichis.

“Sakura!?” he asked, shocked, looking between the younger one and the older one, who faced off the younger one with a small grin. “B-but… who… w-wha…?”

“Well, well... if it isn't my younger self,” the older Sakura leered. “God, I remember when I was a pretentious brat like you.”

“Save your words, you fake!” Sakura growled, approaching the older Sakura. “You're just some illusion!”

“If I was some illusion... I wouldn't do this,” and the older Sakura suddenly grabbed the still shocked Naruto and gave him one of the most erotic kisses that he ever gotten. It was a deep kiss, with implied evidence of tongue, completely draining the blood out of the younger Sakura's face.

Naruto was already knocked out due to shock by the time the older Sakura separated herself from him.

“Well?” the older Sakura asked, gratified.

“Then some transformed clone!” the younger Sakura growled. “And to prove it, I'm gonna show you that these... are fake!”

Her hands flew straight and true towards the older Sakura's chest. As a henge, it was nothing more than an illusion. She was quite sure that her hand would pass through the illusion, and most likely dispel the stupid and perverted game that Naruto was playing... only to be taken aback when her hands were cupping the older Sakura's breast.

Words could not describe how the younger Haruno's mind went from first gear to fifth, stammering words of protest, ordering her opened mouth to say the words, but dying even before reaching half-way. Tongue-tied was the best word to depict it as Sakura's hand removed itself from the older Sakura's globe, shaking like a tree in a wind-storm.

“Im... impossible...!” Sakura finally stated.

“I'm from the future, baka!” the older Sakura exclaimed. “I used the Flux Capacitor no Jutsu from my hubby here,” and she points towards the fainted Naruto on the floor, “in the future to travel to the past. I always wanted to see him young once more...”

“Hub... hubby!?”

“Oh yeah... this little boy here grows a thirteen incher!” the older Sakura grinned rather maniacally. “Wish I gave him my virginity. Stupid Sasuke, and his emo three incher. Did you know he was crying like a baby after two minutes of the deed? He didn't even last that long! What the hell was his frigging problem!?”

Three incher...

Crying like a baby...

Didn't last long...

“Lie! LIES! ALL LIES!!”

“My younger self... its no lie that Sasuke was only this big...” and the older Sakura used her thumb and index finger to further emphasize her words. “Naruto meanwhile... is this big...”

The older Sakura then described the length using two of her hands, making an impressive if not impossible length.

“And this thick too,” she ended back with her thumb and index finger once more, emphasizing a width almost equal to the length she used to describe Sasuke's... size. “Damn boy broke me literally in just a few seconds... worse still, he's got superhuman stamina. And I loved... every... minute... of it.”

“Lie...!” Sakura moaned, backing away from the older Sakura. “I would never... with Naruto!? No! No way!”

“Get used to it, mini-me,” the older Sakura smirked. “Cause all of this...” and she slowly slid into a rather sexy dance, her arms going from her head to her legs, “will be Naruto-kun's...”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Sakura's scream was heard from a few kilometers away. Houses near the training area looked up slightly, wondering if the wind had shifted. For a moment, they thought they heard a blood-curling scream... but then, it could have just been their imagination.

The `fainted' Naruto opened his eyes, stood up from his position, and walked beside his transformed clone (the older Sakura). He looked towards the newly fainted Sakura, down for the count, while his clone laughed slightly.

“Poor Pinky. She knew how the basic henge worked... too bad she never realized we don't really follow the way the academy had taught it,” the clone stated, and held that humongous chest in two hands. “The Uzumaki Perfect Henge no Jutsu!”

The other Naruto looked towards him, and shook his head, frowning.

“You kinda overdid it,” he muttered. And he looked towards her again.

“And stop touching those.”

----------------------------

Kakashi and Sasuke both looked up as their heard Sakura scream. The jounin-sensei left easily, somewhat concerned at what happened to the pink-haired kunoichi, while the Uchiha was buried from feet to neck, courtesy of Kakashi's Inner Decapitation Earth Jutsu. And to add more salt to injury, he was given a lecture at the same time.

Needless to say, Uchiha Sasuke was having a very bad day. Moreover, it got even worse when after Kakashi had left him, he heard a chuckle emanating from behind him.

“The last surviving Uchiha!” Naruto declared with a rather arrogant tone.

Sasuke could only guess that he was being approached, with the sound of footsteps getting louder and louder. Soon, he found himself face to face with the blonde, who squatted down, and looked at him with a rather proud smirk on his face.

“You look somewhat a-head of the game,” the blonde grinned.

“Shut it, dead last,” Sasuke muttered softly, though with a bit of intensity. “I don't see you doing any better.”

“Yeah… no duh,” Naruto shrugged, and became somewhat somber, taking Sasuke by surprise. The Uchiha was expecting more put-downs, but the Uzumaki just looked at him with seriousness, and stated, “We should team up.”

Sasuke stared at the blonde for a moment.

“Excuse me?”

“Think about it, teme,” the blonde replied. “We are three genins… how can one of us beat a jounin sensei?”

“So…?” Sasuke asked, looking at Naruto with some thought.

“Let's team up,” the blonde stated readily, extending his hand towards the Uchiha, neutrally. “You, me, both take him out. I'm sure with my kick-ass taijutsu skills, and your kick-ass fire breathing jutsus with long gay names I can't remember, we can take down some scarecrow with a broom-head any day!”

Other than the small insult towards his fire jutsus, Sasuke knew the blonde Uzumaki was very serious about the proposal. It even made sense, somewhat… but his thoughts immediately rejected the notion of teaming up with the `dead last'. This test is the perfect opportunity to test out his skills against an older and experienced combatant. If he could not pass it alone, how in the world could he even hope to defeat his brother?

“Get out of my sight, dead last,” Sasuke muttered coldly. “I can take him down. Now stop bothering me.”

The blonde Uzumaki sighed. He had been expecting this, of course, but one could only hope, right? At least he did ask first. Time for the second phase of his prank.

“Too bad…” Naruto stated evenly, standing up, and slowly walking behind Sasuke, away from his view. The young Uchiha then started thinking a means of escape, struggling somewhat hoping to loosen enough soil to wiggle his arms out when he heard a zipper open. Without warning, Sasuke felt something warm poured over his head.

“Ahhh… this feels good,” Naruto's voice was heard from behind, unseen. Sasuke could only shake, his eyes widening at the implication.

“Na…ru…to!!!” Sasuke growled. His voice became cold, dead serious as he spoke the next few words void with any emotion, save for cold fury. “I will kill you. When I get out of here, I will kill you!”

“Nyahahaha!” the blonde laughed, moving in front of the young Uchiha, revealing the source of the warm liquid being poured over his exposed head: a water bottle with a small hole on its cover. “Gotcha!” Naruto declared. “You thought I pissed on you, didn't you? Nyahahahaha! Last Genius of the Uchiha my ass… you couldn't even distinguish the difference with your nose! No smell… obviously, water!”

And to prove his point, Naruto unscrewed the cap, and took a big sip from the bottle. He then smirked, and poured the rest of the contents to the still-trapped Uchiha.

“There you go!” the blonde declared. “You could do with some cooling down. You were about to pop a vein there.”

Before Sasuke could say anything more, the whole area rang as the alarm was set off, signaling the end of their survival training.

----------------------------

“Well… okay,” Kakashi declared, scratching the back of his head. In front of him, he felt the killing intent emanating from both Sakura and Sasuke, directed to the blonde kid, who was not paying attention. He never really got the gist of what happened and what Naruto did to garner such reactions. He had found Sakura unconscious on the ground, apparently, in shock, and only muttered about a perverted blonde being her nightmare. Sasuke, he found, with Naruto, glaring at the blonde who was making faces to him, still trapped by the Inner Decapitation Earth Jutsu that Kakashi used on him during their tussle.

No explanation why the young Uchiha's hair was wet though. Asking was even more useless, as the stoic boy just glared at the blonde in silence.

“It seems we all have a bunch of losers here,” the jounin declared. “None of you could even grab a bell. You three… ought to quit as ninjas.”

Naruto smirked somewhat, whilst Sasuke and Sakura stopped glaring towards the blonde. The young Uchiha could only growl, looking downwards in shame. Sakura was somewhat more indignant though.

“But sensei! You asked us to try and beat you…. But how can we, just graduates try and fight you off?”

“This is why you three are useless!” Kakashi replied back. “Until now do any of you even realize the point of this exam?”

“Teamwork.”

Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi suddenly looked towards Naruto who was looking at them neutrally. Seeing their eyes on him, he shrugged.

“Well… it's kinda obvious,” the blonde muttered. “As Sakura points out, we're just graduates. You are a jounin who never revealed much of himself to us. Our skills have been measured… you probably know how good we are. We don't know how good you are. Odds are… we'd lose to you immediately.”

“But… the bells…!” the pink-haired kunoichi muttered, only to be cut off.

“Dilemma. The bells create a dilemma,” Naruto shrugged again. “Turns us against each other. Make us not see the real meaning of this test.” He then stared at Sakura. “And you were supposed to be the smart one.”

“He's right,” Kakashi muttered, taking Sakura's attention away from the boy before she did anything drastic. He could feel her killing intent leaking out again. “This test was designed to make you work on something we call Teamwork. There is a reason why you have been divided to teams and training like this.”

He looked towards the blonde genin, and shook his head. “You knew… yet you faced me alone. Most of you were either running on their own, or just didn't support one another.”

“Hey… I asked,” Naruto growled, earning the attention of the others. “Ask Pinky and Chicken Butt. I asked them to team-up with me… but they rejected me.”

“Well… that's interesting,” the man muttered. He looked towards the two. “Let this be my first lesson to all of you. As ninjas, your lives are at risk as you fulfill your duties.”

Kakashi moved forward, letting the genins see a small square statue with names clearly written in it. The man looked at it rather longingly, and stated, “In this world, acting individually can disrupt teamwork, and forfeit your life, and your mission.” He paused. “This stone… look. These ninjas are considered heroes. A memorial for those who had died in duty.

“My best friend's name is carved here,” the man whispered, though audible for the others to hear. There was a slight pause as the air remained silent as Sasuke and Sakura didn't know what to say. Naruto, knowing Kakashi's history from his past, just spent the time in silence.

“Now then,” the jounin suddenly looking at the genins. “We'll start over again.” He looked at them seriously. “After lunch, we will do this test once more… but I will make it even harder for you guys to pass. And… as an extra…”

With rather lightning speed, Kakashi dashed immediately towards the group alerting the three who went immediately on defensive. Expecting an attack, Sasuke was about to counter-attack when he was in range, only to be surprised when the jounin just grabbed Sakura, and pinned her on the tree stump. As she was in shock, he began to tie her up on the tree rather tightly, and retreated before anyone could ask what he was doing.

“H-Hey!” Sakura muttered, finally as she saw Kakashi walk away from her. “What is this sensei!?”

“Punishment. As the only member of the team who didn't even try grabbing for the bells, nor tried anything at all, you will be the only one who will not be fed.”

“WHAT!?” Sakura shouted. “B-b-but I thought individual action…”

“Shut it, Pinky,” Kakashi growled suddenly, glaring at the genin and quieting her down. “I am the rules here. Naruto, Sasuke, you are both free to eat lunch. If both of you try to feed Sakura, I'll fail you all. Understand?”

“No problem boss,” Naruto suddenly declared.

“Good. Now, I'll go somewhere real quick, and when I comeback, we will do the exercise again,” the jounin declared, and disappeared completely from their sight.

“Heh… like I'd follow that,” the blonde genin declared. Looking left and right, he grabbed his kunai before going behind the tied Sakura, and slowly cutting the bonds.

Sasuke, who was about to open his lunch, was taken aback when Naruto was seemingly trying to free their pinned down teammate.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Well, if we're all going to work together… all of us should be prepared,” Naruto reasoned. “I ate lunch and I'm not even hungry. Sakura didn't and I'm sure she's starving.”

“I don't need your pity,” Sakura growled, but stopped speaking when her stomach growled even louder.

“Your stomach says it needs food, though,” the blonde declared.

“And if you're caught, we all fail!” Sakura stated.

“Well… I don't sense him around,” Naruto muttered, finally freeing Sakura. He looked at Sasuke. “Do you?”

The young Uchiha shook his head. “Don't sense him either.”

“See?” Naruto smiled at Sakura. “If you don't believe me, let boy-wonder here convince you otherwise.”

“Stop insulting-”

“Lunch?” the blonde cut Sakura off, giving his unopened lunchbox to her. .

The pink-haired genin grabbed the lunchbox almost greedily, forgetting the small jab Naruto had done to Sasuke and was about to open and dive in when suddenly, the area was covered with smoke, and in the middle was the rather scary silhouette looking at them.

It was Kakashi… and he looked angry. So angry that Sakura almost dropped the lunchbox she was offered and Sasuke was in again a defensive position.

“YOU GUYS… Pass.”

Sasuke's jaw slackened somewhat, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the jounin while Sakura was still trembling, breaking a cold sweat as she stupidly asked:

“Huh…?”

“Heh…” Kakashi's demeanor changed. He looked liked he was smiling at them. “You're the first.”

“Huh…?” Sakura had to ask again. Naruto wondered if her brain died that moment.

“Everyone… every single one would just do whatever I told them,” the jounin explained, sitting down on the ground. “They were morons. A ninja must see underneath the underneath. They say ninjas that break the rules are trash… well, you know what? Those that don't take care of their comrades are even lower than trash.”

Kakashi stood up. “And that ends our training for today. As of now, you are officially, Team 7.”

“YES!” Naruto shouted. “YES! WOOHOO! Gonna tell my brothers! ALRIGHT!”

“Uh… Naruto,” Kakashi called, but before he could say anything, the blonde genin upped and left leaving the rest of the team and their newly appointed jounin sensei alone. “And he's gone… someone go to his house and tell him to meet back here tomorrow at ten.”

And with that, Kakashi disappears leaving the two hungry genins alone.

Sakura looked towards Sasuke who was now preparing his chopsticks. Preparing hers as well, she wondered for a moment if she knew where the blonde lived. She didn't.

“Hey, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura called.

“Hnn?” Sasuke replied back, not looking at her.

“Do you know where the Uzumaki brothers live?”

“No… but it's easy to find out… knowing how loud they are,” the young Uchiha explained.

“Yeah… but… still,” Sakura looked down. The image of Naruto giving her his lunchbox somewhat touched her. Even with that rather bizarre encounter with her future self (or was it? She never could convince herself about that) she realized that maybe she was somewhat too hard on him. Maybe she ought to treat him better…

All those forgiving thoughts vanished when both Sasuke and Sakura opened their lunchboxes, and both exploded right into their faces, covering their faces with black smoke with the smell of burning paper lingering in the air. The genins coughed loudly, somewhat confused at what happened, and only when the smoke cleared did they find out what happened.

On their lunchboxes was a note, written and signed by Naruto:

Nyah-nyah. Go eat lunch somewhere else morons!

Sasuke's hands snapped the lunchbox in two, while Sakura could only do what she could. She screamed Naruto's name.

----------------------------

Kakashi looked back where the training area was, swearing he heard Sakura scream. He paid no heed. He had to report back to the Third Hokage about his team passing. Coming towards the Hokage's office at the deepest part of the village, he flagged the secretary, and presenting himself to her.

“Need to see Hokage-sama,” Kakashi asked.

“Take a seat,” the secretary replied. “Hokage-sama currently has guests.”

Nodding, the Copycat Ninja went to lounge comfortably into one of the couches, and put his hand on his vest pocket, feeling the small protrusion of his favorite handbook. Giggling somewhat, he opened the pocket, and grabbed the book, taking it out to try and… read?

“What the hell…?” Kakashi whispered to himself, realizing that he brought out was a block of wood, written in bold letters, signed by Naruto.

What's more important? The bells… or your book?

PS. Don't be late tomorrow.

“Son of a…” the jounin bit his lip. The Third should hear about this, Kakashi thought. There was something off about this kid.

----------------------------

Back to the Uzumaki apartments, Laharl chowed down on his food while Buds looked towards Naruto, who was stealing glances from the orange book he had stolen from the jounin earlier that day. The blonde chuckled at times, taking spoonfuls of food to his mouth from time to time.

“What?” Naruto asked, looking back towards his brother who was staring at him.

“Is this wise?” Buds asked, his lips twitching slightly. “You cannot afford to show your true skills at this point.”

“Well… it wasn't really all my skill… I almost got caught stealing it and thankfully, Kakashi-sensei thought I was actually going for the bells, and didn't even bother to check when he substituted my clone to his place during the… uh, how do you say it? Acquisition?”

“Even so,” the brown-haired Uzumaki reasoned. “You know he'll be going after you now. No genin is supposed to be that prepared. Now he'll think you knew before-hand about his habits and he'll start to question how you know them. You're going to make this harder on yourself and us especially when we're planning to-”

“I know, Buds…” Naruto declared, butting his brother off. “Don't worry. I'll make it work.”

“You better,” Buds sighed. “I still heard Sakura's scream from out training grounds. Pranking your teammates is good and all, but don't turn the whole team against you.”

“Why not? They should get used to it,” the blonde smirked. “Coz I'm gonna pound them to make them ready.” He paused. “Plus… come on, its fun!”

Buds sighed. “Look… we're gonna have our hands full. If we're going to make this plan work, we have to need everyone with the skills with us.”

“Don't worry… I'll make those two better,” Naruto muttered, finally getting serious. “Kakashi… I'll give him a spin, keep him close enough to know that I am definitely on his side.” The blonde paused, looking at Buds, who nodded, somewhat convinced of his sincerity. The blonde smirked once more. “How was your day?”

“Officially, we don't start taking missions until all new rookie teams have officially been submitted and named,” Buds shrugged. “I guess we're the early ones.”

“Yeah,” Laharl spoke finally, stopping shoving the food to his mouth. “Plus it gave a good chance for Luckless Wonder here to make his moves on that Otaku Princess.”

“Laharl… shut up,” Buds glared at the purple-haired Uzumaki.

Naruto grinned. “Rea-he-he-healy? Do tell more.”

“Yeah, they were getting cozy on a tree, exchanging love letters.”

“Oh come on! It was the JUMP Weekly she had promised to lend me yesterday!” Buds explained.

“Yet you were sitting sooo close,” Laharl declared.

“She was afraid I'd ruin it like what you did to her manga!”

“Buds and Ami sitting on the tree… K-I-S-S-I-N…” Naruto began singing, only to be cut off by Buds' fist coming at him. The blonde could only laugh harder as he dodged. “Oh come on, don't be defensive. We all know you really love Hinata.”

“Of course… coz we all know you're one damn big lolicon,” Laharl declared, only for Buds to shove the bowl of rice to the purple-haired Uzumaki's mouth forcefully.

“There, eat some more rice,” Buds growled. Laharl removed the bowl, and the two began fighting among themselves, making Naruto laugh even louder until someone's fist hit him on the face.

“Oh, that is frigging it,” the blonde declared and was about to jump into the fray when the front door of their apartment smashed, revealing both Sasuke and Sakura, who were still covered in black ashes, looking straight towards the blonde.

“Uzumaki…” Sasuke growled, his hands coming together.

“Na… RU… TO!” Sakura shouted, cracking her knuckles.

“Hey, Chicken Butt! Pinky! What brings you here?” Naruto greeted them with a smile. “You guys haven't even cleaned yourselves yet?”

“DIE!”

“Here we go!” Naruto laughed as he launched himself towards an open window, followed by Sakura and Sasuke, who was now forming his seals, and exhaling out a few fireballs.

Needless to say… the Third Hokage and the whole village was kept up rather late until everything was resolved. Team 7'debuted with the village as the most destructive team they had ever seen but for Naruto… they hadn't seen nothing yet.

To Be Continued…

----------------------------

OMAKE!

The other Naruto looked towards him, and shook his head, frowning.

“You kinda overdid it,” he muttered. And he looked towards her again. “And stop touching those.”

“Oh come on,” the transformed clone declared, wiggling her/his extra chest pieces in circular motions. “These melons must be bigger than Baa-chan's!”

The other Naruto clone looked at her/him. His hand came to his chin. “A tad bigger, yes. Really, though… do they have to be?”

“You haven't seen Buds' little doujin collection, have you?”

“I don't want to know.”

----------------------------

Author's Notes:

Well, this chapter was done way before I started The Dark Lady, but because this is one of the few stories that I have my lovely editor edit, it had been delayed for some time. I may seriously invest on this story though… more than ten chapters, hopefully… Hope you enjoyed this one, and look forward to the next one.