Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Tsunade got run over by a Reindeer ❯ Tsunade got run over by a reindeer ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Author: Well, Here's another songfic! This one is a comical one about Tsunade getting run over by Reindeer! Hope you enjoy!
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Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.
Naruto looked down at the pulverized Hokage on the ground. “Ehh…Grandma?” he asked, prodding her. Kakashi looked her over, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I think she's dead. Looks like she got run over by a reindeer.” Naruto looked up at him. “Santa's reindeer! Damn him!” he shouted, pounding his fist into his hand. Ino looked down at her. “There's no such thing as Santa.” Naruto and Kakashi looked at each other. “Grampa and I believe.” Ino looked at Naruto in confusion. “Grampa?” Naruto nodded. “Ero-sennin.” Ino suddenly knew who Naruto was talking about. Everyone knew of Naruto's nickname for Jiraiya. She then looked down at the woman. “What happened?”
She'd been drinking too much eggnog,
and we begged her not to go.
But she forgot her medication, and she
staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas morning,
at the scene of the attack,
she had hoof-prints on her forehead,
and incriminating Claus marks on her back.
“She drank too much eggnog, and I think she may have spiked it. She tried to keep her in the house, but she knocked out Grampa and Kakashi and I weren't about to stop her.” Ino sweat dropped. Tsunade's power was not to be taken lightly. Kakashi nodded in agreement. “She staggered out the door like a drunkard, which I'm sure she was, and that was the last time we saw her alive.” They looked back down at Tsunade. She had hoof-prints on her forehead Naruto flipped her over, and there were hideous Claus marks on her back. “Looked painful.” Naruto shrugged. “She probably was too drunk to heal herself. Ah well…”
Now we're all so proud of grandpa,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching football,
drinking root beer and
playing cards with Cousin Mel.
“How's Jiraiya-sama taking it? They were married, weren't they?” Naruto snorted. “He's watching football, drinking root beer and playing poker right now. I'm surprised he's not going out and hunting down Santa right now.” Kakashi rolled his eyes. “Iruka and I are actually quite proud of him doing so well.”
It's not Christmas without Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black
and we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts,
or send them back?
Send them back!!
Naruto and Kakashi walked back home, noting that everyone else was wearing black. They had their own black clothed on. “You know, it's not quite the same without Tsunade here…” Kakashi noted, and Iruka looked up. “Hey, should we open up her gifts or send them back?” The men all looked over at the Christmas gifts, thinking really hard. “You bakas! You should send them back!” growled an angry voice, and they looked to see Kurenai and Asuma standing at the door, both carrying gifts and food. “Ahh! Kurenai, Asuma! Here for our Christmas Dinner?” Kakashi asked. Kurenai sighed. “It's only 11:00 in the morning, but yes, I'm here to cook for your dinner. Asuma's here as well.” Naruto rolled his eyes. “Duh! You two never go anywhere without each other. It's like you're one person.” Kurenai blushed as Asuma pulled out his special blade. Naruto got nervous and ran to Kakashi. Asuma put it away, sighing. “Well, let's get to work.”
Now the goose is on the table
and the pudding made of fig
and the blue and silver candles
that would just have matched
the hair on grandma's wig.
After several hours of cooking, the dinner was ready. Kurenai, Sakura, and Ino had all come together and had been cooking. They had prepared a scrumptious looking Goose, and even had some strange looking pudding. He sniffed it, and received a punch in the side of the face by a certain pink-haired kunoichi. “Don't breathe on it, you pig!” “Itai, Sakura! What is it?” Naruto asked, gripping his cheek tenderly. “It's fig pudding. Don't ask what it is, because you probably won't know half the ingredients in there.” Naruto sighed. He looked at the candles Ino was putting out. They were blue and silver. “Hm…” he thought casually. “Almost looks like Tsunade's hair when she's in her natural form.” Everyone stared at the candles, agreeing. Then they sat down and began to eat.
I've warned all my
friends and neighbors
better watch out for yourselves,
they should never give a license
to a man who drives a sleigh
and plays with elves.
Naruto ran outside as soon as dinner was done, and Kakashi glanced calmly at him. “Where are you going, Naruto?” he asked casually. “I'm going to warn the neighbors about Santa!” he replied, and spotted Sasuke. “Sasuke!!” he shouted, waving his hands frantically. “Nani, dobe?” he grunted, glaring at the blonde. “I wanted to warn you about Santa. They should NEVER give a license to a fat guy who drives a sleigh and plays with elves!” Naruto replied, and ran off. Sasuke looked at Naruto strangely as he ran off. “Tch, Baka…” he muttered, and walked off.
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Author: My second Songifc! I thought it would be interesting to make up Naruto's family. Just to let you know, Jiraiya and Tsunade were his grandparents, Kakashi and Iruka, his Uncles, and they all lived in the same house. Yeah…I was just making some things up and using my imagination. Hope you enjoyed!