Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Under the Sea ❯ Chapter 4

A/N: A little short, but at least it's something. Not merlot this time, but chocolate espresso martinis after a brutal day at work. Enjoy the fruits of my inebriation. Still not my fault.

 

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The sun rose to reflect off of a beautiful, fairy tale castle. The morning was peaceful and brilliant, promising a perfect day. The only sound was the song of birds welcoming the dawn.

 

“Hey, Princess!”

 

Neiji jerked awake, looking around with a dazed expression. When his gaze finally landed on Naruto, he curled back up on his pillow. “Shut up.”

 

“Hey, I've got to talk to the Princess. I just heard some big news!” Naruto looked around the empty room before walking to the bathroom door and pushing it open. “Hey, Lee!”

 

Lee spun around, mouth and eyes open wide even though he could not make a sound.

 

“You won't believe what I heard . . . what the hell are you doing?”

 

The Princess shoved his hands behind his back, shaking his head and smiling.

 

“Oh, no. I saw that. I know I did. Are you putting on mascara?” Naruto walked the rest of the way into the bathroom, staring at the counter top and the various bottles and jars scattered about. “Are you seriously doing your makeup?”

 

A soft series of clicks heralded Neiji's arrival, along with a general grumble. “You don't think eyelashes like his are natural, do you?”

 

“Ah, geez, and here I was feeling bad for you, getting stuck in one of the narrator's crazy yaoi flicks.” Naruto poked at a jar of moisturizer, which promptly tipped over. “Is this for the story, or do you do this all the time?”

 

Lee smiled brightly, his hands still behind his back. The crab at his feet huffed. “He always wears mascara. I've seen him put it on during missions. Something about youthful eyes seeing further or something. Come on, you had to know those eyelashes were not natural.”

 

“Neither are the eyebrows! Are you telling me he paints those on?”

 

Neiji rolled his eyes. “No, but he spends a lot of time grooming them and shaping them.”

 

“Dude, no way.”

 

Lee dragged his hand over his face, wishing he could groan. He made shooing gestures at the two interlopers in the bathroom.

 

“Didn't you have some big news, Naruto?”

 

“Huh? Oh yeah!” Naruto abandoned his investigation of the bottles. “Better get your makeup right, Princess, because the Prince is getting married this afternoon!”

 

Lee gave him a slightly perplexed look, finally easing his mascara laden hands back to the front.

 

“Married. The Prince is getting married.”

 

The Princess and the crab exchanged a shrug.

 

“Dude, you had this crazy romantic thing yesterday, and now it's announced he's getting married. This afternoon. Who do you think the bride is?”

 

Lee shrugged at Neiji, who returned the gesture.

 

“You! Duh.” Naruto crossed his arms and stared at the both of them. “Who else could it be? Gaara's kind of a hermit.”

 

`Married?' Lee looked down at Neiji, his expression uncertain.

 

“Well, that should mean that you get a kiss, and you pass your challenge with Orochimaru.” The crab-nin flipped his hair back. “Go steal a kiss and we can get out of here.”

 

Lee put his hands on his hips, his nightgown billowing around him.

 

“Look, I don't care if you marry him or not, but go steal a kiss so we can get this one problem out of our hair, okay? If you're free from Orochimaru, I can go home.”

 

After a second of thought, Lee turned back to the mirror to finish up his mascara. `I cannot go down lopsided.'

 

“Today, Princess!”

 

With a silent huff, Lee set his mascara down and bolted out of the room, easily skirting around the railing and taking the stairs three at a time. During his descent, Kankuro's voice broke through his thoughts.

 

“Well, who knew you had it in you, kid. Here I was thinking you had gone gay on us, and then you come back with this fox.”

 

Lee peeked down the stairs, seeing Gaara and some woman facing Kankuro. A woman that was hanging off of his arm, her head on his shoulder. A strange pain pulled at Lee's guts, making him bite his lip. `Who is that?'

 

“We wish to be married as soon as possible.” Gaara stared at his brother, his expression blank.

 

Kankuro blanched. “Married? You kidding? Don't you think it's a bit early for that kind of a thing? Shouldn't you, you know, try it before you buy it?”

 

“Today. The wedding barge departs at sunset.”

 

The blank expression and creepy voice sent Kankuro retreating. “Uh, okay, kid. I can swing that.”

 

Lee leaned against his pillar, his mind in a whirl. `Married? To her? But . . . yesterday . . . I thought he wanted to kiss me, too. But, how can I kiss him now? He is engaged! To a woman. It is impossible.' Still biting his lip, the Princess turned and ran back up the stairs to his room.

 

Next to the Prince, the strange woman watched the nightgown clad man dart back up the stairs and chuckled, the pendant around her neck glowing.

 

----

 

The sun dipped down to touch the horizon, staining the ocean red and orange. A massive ship set sail, pushing out onto the open water and leaving the safety of the docks behind. On those docks, a man stared after the ship with an expression of confusion and disappointment.

 

Lee slipped down to sit on the edge of the dock, staring at the receding ship. Below him, Chouji let his sushi drift away, forgotten, while Neiji hunkered down at the Princess's side.

 

He was disappointed with himself for losing the challenge with Orochimaru, but there was something else. He felt . . . abandoned. He had not realized how much he had started to think about kissing Gaara until it became impossible. The Prince was off to marry a beautiful Princess, and Lee was left to wait on the docks until Orochimaru came to collect him.

 

A tear tracked down his cheek, and he swiped it away, hoping that he had been quick enough that Neiji would not see. His teammate always mocked his display of emotions. But the crab was oddly silent for this one, sitting at his side and watching the ship with him.

 

----

 

Out at sea . . .

 

“Here comes the bride, all dressed in green! Here comes the groom, lookin' kinda mean!” Naruto danced a couple of steps as he jogged across the water, catching up to the wedding barge with ease. “They'll love this one! That'll be musical number two for me!”

 

Don't count on it, brat.

 

A second voice was wafting across the water, and Naruto cocked his head to the side. “What the . . .” With a few bounds he was hanging from the side of the ship, peeking in a porthole. Inside, he saw a lovely woman in a simple dress, spinning about and singing.

 

“Oh, my dear, I look divine. Things are working out according to my ultimate design.” The woman crushed a delicate trinket in her hand, letting the pieces fall to the floor. “Soon I'll have that little mermaid and the ocean will be mine!”

 

An impossibly long tongue retrieved a hair brush.

 

Naruto clamped a hand over his mouth to avoid becoming sick. `Ugh, I'd know that trick anywhere! That means Gaara's gonna marry . . . I've gotta get bushy brows!”

 

With a burst of speed, fueled by some help from the Kyuubi, who was also grossed out at the possible pairing, Naruto took off across the water. In minutes he was at the dock. “Bushy brows! Bushy brooooooows!”

 

Lee picked his head up, easily spotting the orange blur that solidified into a panting Naruto.

 

“I was running, and dancing, and singing, when there was more singing, and it wasn't me, and I saw this chick, and she did the freakin' tongue thing! Right off the dresser!”

 

Lee raised one eyebrow and wondered if his youthful friend had spent too much time on the island by himself.

 

Naruto grabbed Neiji, bringing them nose to . . . crab. “Do you hear what I'm telling you?”

 

Neiji was banged against the dock to emphasize the hyperactive shinobi's words.

 

“Gaara's gonna fucking marry Orochimaru!”

 

Lee jumped to his feet, mouth in a silent `o'.

 

Neiji picked himself up off of the dock slowly. “Are you sure about this?”

 

“Have I ever been wrong?” Everyone glared at the blonde, who scratched at the back of his neck with a laugh. “Oh, yeah, forgot about that one.”

 

Chouji grumbled from under the dock. “Which one?”

 

“But I'm sure this time! Only Orochimaru could crossdress like that, pull that tongue trick, and hypnotize Gaara!”

 

“Okay, let's assume for a second he's right this time. What do we do?” Chouji rummaged up some new sushi.

 

Neiji plunked down on the dock and crossed his claws. “It's too late. The sun is already on the horizon. It just means that the narrator doesn't get her happy ending, and we all finally get to go home.”

 

Lee shook his head franticly. `We cannot give up! It should be a happy ending!'

 

“We do nothing. The story ends, and you can go back to challenging everyone back home.”

 

Umm, guys? I don't know how to tell you this, exactly, but I don't think it's really going to work that way.

 

Naruto scrunched his face up. “Work like what?”

 

You might have noticed I don't really have any control over the characters.

 

“No kidding.” Chouji rolled his eyes.

 

So, basically, Orochimaru really has taken control of Gaara, is really going to marry him, and is really going to heal his arms and destroy Konoha!

 

“What?” Neiji glared at the sky. “That wasn't the deal!”

 

Look, I've never done a story like this. I had no idea you guys could just do whatever you wanted.

 

Neiji threw his claws in the air. “When have we ever listened to you?”

 

Fine, fine, rookie error, but now you guys need to save Gaara!

 

Chouji looked to Lee. “So, what are we going to do?”

 

Lee gritted his teeth. The sun had not set yet. There was still time. He leapt off of the dock, easily sliding into the water only to discover that boots, pants, and a poofy shirt are very hard to swim in. He surfaced, sputtering a bit and struggling.

 

What is it with you guys and trying to drown?

 

A wave of water signaled that Chouji had transformed, and he swam up beneath Lee, letting him sit on his back. Breaking the surface, Lee sucked in a deep breath and gave Chouji a pat on the back in gratitude.

 

“Crap, I am not letting them put a disaster like this on my record.” Neiji skittered to the end of the dock. “Chouji, get Lee to that ship. He's got to get that kiss to keep Orochimaru from destroying Konoha.”

 

“On my way!” Chouji took off with Lee clinging desperately to his back.

 

“I have to get reinforcements, since we are looking at taking on one of the sannin. That means I need to talk to King Gai.” Neiji made a face, but jumped off of the end of the dock anyways.

“Hey, don't forget about me! What should I be doing?” Naruto snatched Neiji out of the air.

 

“You?” Neiji cocked his head to the side. “Find a way to stall that wedding!”

 

Naruto let the crab escape that time, staring at the horizon. “Stall the wedding? That's all he wants? Why didn't he say so? By the time I'm done, there's gonna be nothing left of that wedding!”

 

With a burst of chakra, Naruto took off across the water.

 

----

 

And back at the wedding barge, which, of course, I am now publicly acknowledging I have no control over, beautiful music was playing as the royal couple walked down the aisle. Waiting for them at the end of the luxurious red carpet was a silver haired man with a book.

 

“Yo.”

 

Damnit, Kakashi, can't you put the porn away long enough for this scene?

 

The silver haired jounin probably smirked under his mask, but no one would ever know. “This was not my idea.”

 

Then next time let me borrow Pakkun to play the part of Max!

 

“It wasn't me, it was Pakkun that refused. I can summon him, but I can't convince him to play the part of a bouncing English Sheepdog.”

 

It's not a hard part!

 

“I know what you're doing, narrator.” The regal looking woman glared at the sky. “It won't work. Quit distracting the minister.”

 

Party pooper.

 

Kakashi ruffled through his copy of Icha Icha Paradise. “I brought this one special since it actually features a wedding.”

 

The sannin-turned-princess glared. “Get on with it!”

 

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Gaara of the Desert with . . . what was your name, princess?”

 

“Vanessa!”

 

“Oh, that's original.” Kakashi shrugged as he turned back to his novel. “I guess it will work. Just Vanessa? No last name?”

 

“Get on with it!”

 

Kakashi gave the fuming princess a blank stare before looking back to his book. “Vanessa in the bonds of holy matrimony.”

 

There was a loud thump as someone leapt from the water and landed on deck, right in the middle of the ceremony and frightening the daylights out of several of the extras in the audience.

 

“I object!”

 

The minister looked over his book. “I haven't gotten there yet, Naruto. Wait your turn.”

 

“Kakashi-sensei?”

 

The silver haired shinobi shrugged his shoulders. “At least I'm not in danger of being turned into a bird.”

 

For the love of . . . focus!

 

The princess grabbed onto the front of Kakashi's robes. “You're supposed to be marrying us, not gossiping with one of your pathetic pupils!”

 

What had been the minister disappeared, only to be replaced by an oar from one of the lifeboats. Her beautiful face twisting into a snarl, the bride threw the oar into the audience. “Where did he go?”

 

“Kage no bunshin!”

 

Orochimaru's face sank. “Oh, hell.”

 

The deck was suddenly full of shinobi decked out in orange and black. Chaos broke out as the civilians ran for their lives and the shinobi scrambled to get away from the swarm of blonde, hyperactive teenagers that had suddenly appeared. With a yell, the swarm descended on the sannin. The clones were dissipated by the dozens, but there were always more to replace them. Three of the clones picked up the entranced Prince and started to haul him away.

 

“I am supposed to be getting married.” Gaara started to struggle against his captors.

 

“Trust us!” The clones yelled in unison. “You'll thank us in the morning!”

 

“Put me down!”

 

“No! Friends don't let friends marry snake freaks!”

 

Sand started to pour out from below deck, knocking the clones off of their feet and dissipating them. The real Naruto turned away from directing his clones and groaned. “Ah, crap, no one said anything about having to take on Gaara at the same time!”

 

Orochimaru dispatched another clone. “Where did the minister go?!”

 

“Hmm?” Kakashi looked down at the chaos from his perch on the sails, flipping the page of his book.

 

Sand whipped across the deck, destroying clones and knocking the real Naruto into a mast hard enough to make him see stars. The blonde shook his head and glared at his red headed friend. “Now you're starting to piss me off, jutsu or no jutsu.”

 

Gaara walked back towards the princess, his expression still blank. Orochimaru's mouth opened impossibly wide and snakes poured out. The serpents swarmed up the sails, chasing after the jounin that had finally put his book away.

 

Naruto's eyes started to shine red.

 

No! Bad! No Kyuubi! You'll sink the ship!

 

Orochimaru pointed at Naruto. “Gaara, kill the jinchuuriki!”

 

The Prince called the sand to him. Naruto's teeth started to lengthen.

 

With a mighty splash, a gigantic red and green fish landed on the ship, cracking some of the boards on deck, and depositing a soaking wet man in a blue shirt and a black bodice. The soaked man stumbled for a few steps before taking in what was going on around him. He saw Naruto and Gaara facing off and ran forward, waving his arms franticly.

 

The fake princess turned to look at the massive fish that had just landed in the remnants of his wedding ceremony, giving Kakashi an opening. The jounin lunged in, kunai in hand. Instead of slashing Orochimaru's throat, the blade destroyed the chain holding the snake pendant. The charm fell to the ground and shattered, releasing a ball of green light.

 

Even as the sand raced forward to attack Naruto, Gaara staggered. He shook his head, eyes focusing, and the sand fell to the deck. “Where . . . “

 

The ball of green light slammed into Lee, sending him crashing into Chouji and sending his fish friend back into the ocean. The real princess was left panting on the deck, feeling a bit dazed.

 

Gaara noticed Lee on the deck and hurried over, grabbing the man by the arm. “What happened? How did we get here?”

 

“Gaara, get away from him!” Orochimaru broke away from Kakashi, but found himself facing a wall of sand instead. The Prince was standing between him and the still slightly shaken Princess, who was now on his feet.

 

“Gaara, there is no time.”

 

The Prince turned around. “You can talk. So you were the one that pulled me out of the water.”

 

Lee nodded franticly, worrying his bottom lip. “I wanted to tell you everything, but . . . “

 

A hand was set on the Princess's cheek. Jade green eyes studied him. “Now you can.”

 

“Gaara . . . “

 

Chakra flashed as the sun set, sending Lee to the deck. Gaara stared as Lee looked up at him, his expression lost. His tail thumped against the wood.

 

Damn it all, you are ruining all of my fun!

 

“Too late, narrator.” Orochimaru transported to just behind Lee and picked him up, dropping his disguise as he did so. He ran his tongue along the young man's face before he jumped on top of the guard rail. “We will have to finish this another time, Prince.”

 

The sand whipped out to catch them, but Orochimaru dove under the surface of the water and beyond Gaara's reach.

 

Lee struggled as he was dragged under, but Orochimaru did not budge. “Oh, poor little leaf, it's not you I'm after, really. You're just the bait.”

 

“Stop right there, you unyouthful villain!”

 

Probably some of the worst casting I did in the whole thing.

 

Neiji glared at Orochimaru from his perch on King Gai's shoulder, his frown highlighted by the shine from the King's trident.

 

“Oh, look at who came rushing to the rescue exactly as desired. Honestly, there is almost no challenge to this.” The sanin sighed. “Say it.”

 

“Let my youthful pupil go right this instant, you foul, naughty person!” Gai struck a pose, brandishing his trident wildly. Neiji scrambled for cover as the staff came much to close to his tiny body.

 

“No.”

 

“No?” Gai paused. “What do you mean, no?”

 

Orochimaru looked up. “This was the best you could do?”

 

He's Lee's father figure. He came with the rest of the package.

 

Shaking his head again, the sea witch unfurled a scroll. “We have a deal. Your youthful pupil belongs to me now.”

 

Gai tipped his head to the side. “Really?”

 

“I did not mean to lose the challenge, King Gai! I will swim 300 laps around Konohagakure backwards!” Lee struggled against Orochimaru. “If he would let go, anyways.”

 

“Well, once he lets go, you will be stronger for this challenge!”

 

“Yosh!”

 

Pay attention! Your youthful pupil belongs to the evil, unyouthful villain! Do something!

 

Gai looked up. “So, he is not training with Orochimaru in order to improve his skills, but is a prisoner?”

 

Ding ding ding, we have a winner!

 

The trident snapped up and blasted at Orochimaru, sending the sannin slamming into a cliff. When the cloud of dust floated away, there was not a mark on him. “You can't blow up a scroll like this. Rock Lee signed it, and he must abide by it.”

 

The King looked at his trident. “Well, then how do I save my student?”

 

“You trade yourself for his freedom.”

 

“No, King Gai, you cannot! I lost the challenge, I will pay the price!” Lee struggled franticly, but Sauske and Kabuto had him trapped by his arms. “Stop!”

 

----

 

On the surface of the ocean . . .

 

“Gaara, have you lost your fucking mind!” Kankuro leaned over the railing of the wedding barge, hollering at his brother who was out in a life boat. “You can't use your sand or swim!”

 

“I am not letting that creature have him.”

 

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