Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Underwear ❯ Speculation ( Chapter 2 )

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Underwear

by Lemon Drops/thatreevesgirl (they're both me)

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Chapter 2: Speculation

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Ino nibbled daintily at a cookie, enjoying time with her best friend at a local tea shop. Sakura lifted her cup of tea to her lips when Ino chimed in, “So what kind of underwear do you think Gaara wears?”

 

The hue of red Sakura turned upon hearing this rivaled the color of her shirt, and choked on the sip of tea in her mouth, “Ino-pig!” she sputtered, “We are in public!”

 

Ino grinned, “Yeah, your point?”

 

Sakura thought of a thousand responses to that idiotic question, some of which were obvious, like you don't discuss your fetishes in the local tea shop, or self-respecting women don't muse over what kind of underwear the Kazekage wears.

 

“Like you've never thought about it…you're the one with a thing for guys' underwear,” Ino continued, completely unphased by Sakura's disdain for discussion of the topic anywhere but in private.

 

“I have, but we are in a teashop, in the middle of Konoha, where anyone can hear what we are discussing!” Sakura hissed under her breath.

 

“I bet he doesn't wear any at all, probably goes commando all the time,” Ino continued, ignoring Sakura's request for a continuance until they were safely hidden from the public eye, “I could see Gaara doing something like that, perhaps it gives him some private thrill which makes him feel more powerful. He probably needs it since Shukaku was removed.”

 

“INO! SHUT UP!” Sakura shouted, actually eliciting more stares than anything Ino was talking about.

 

“Way to go forehead, now we really can't talk about it. Damn you for putting the idea of men parading around in their underwear in my head, now it won't come out. That's all I see all day long, guys wandering around in briefs or boxers, or those illustrious boxer-briefs which I actually sought out to see what they were like. I made Shika wear some the other night, and you're right, those are pretty darn sexy.”

 

Sakura smacked her palm to her forehead and sighed, ignoring Ino's rant the best she could.

 

“Do men have pantylines?”

 

“What?”

 

“You know, can you tell like you can with girls sometimes? Do men have pantylines?”

 

Sakura mouth gapped open, and never before did the young woman feel like she'd blushed as much as she had today, “I don't know, and I don't think it's called pantylines, men don't wear panties.”

 

“I bet there are a few that do, just for kicks.”

 

Well, Ino did have a way of ruining the best of fantasies, because Gai was now parading around Sakura's mind in a pair of lacy green panties. “I hate you…I hate you so very, very much.”

 

Ino smirked, and continued the conversation, “So?”

 

Sakura stared at the unabashed blonde, “So what?”

 

“Gaara, underwear, what kind? The question that started us on this crazy little discussion.”

 

“You've given up on the thought of men's pantylines…I mean underwear-lines?” Sakura asked, not knowing why she was revisiting or aiding the conversation.

 

“No, but that's something which is observable, so we can go to the park later and see if we can spot underwear-lines on the male passerbyers , however, Gaara's underwear choice is more speculation, thus a topic of debate I'd like to explore further.”

 

Sakura grumbled to herself, Ino was a strange one, that was for sure, biggest pervert she knew other than Kakashi and Jiraiya.

 

“Well?”

 

“My money's on briefs or boxer-briefs, less chance of sand getting into places it isn't supposed to be.”

 

Ino giggled at Sakura's prediction, “Which one of us is going to prove that one?”

 

Sakura rolled her eyes, “You're the pervert, I'll leave that to you.”

 

Ino waggled her finger at Sakura and gave a curt tsk-tsk before adding, “Silly, just ask Naruto to find out for us.”

 

“Naruto! How am I supposed to ask Naruto about something like that?”

 

Ino's smiled big, “Tell him you want to get the Kazekage a birthday gift or something, I don't know. You'll think of something.”

 

“No, I won't.”

 

“Sure you will, so who else haven't we discussed? Hmm…there's Kiba, Shino, Rock Lee, Neji, Kankuro, Gai…”

 

“No Gai, never speak his name in the same conversation as my fetish again,” Sakura whined, still trying to rid herself of the flamboyantly brilliant taijutsu user in green panties.

 

“But still, all the others I listed, we should make predictions, because I really want to know.”

 

“Fine.”

 

Ino grinned, glad that Sakura was finally coming around, “Let's start with Kiba and Shino.”

 

Sakura paused to think, “Kiba seems like the kind of guy to be wild and loose, I'm thinking he would be the kind to go commando more than Gaara would. Shino seems a bit uptight, a briefs kind of guy.”

 

Ino laughed and heartily agreed with both of Sakura's predictions, “Neji? He seems like he's always desired to be free, but still caged…”

 

“Boxers, the whitest damn boxers you've ever seen,” Sakura interrupted with a giggle.

 

“Yeah, definitely, and how about Neji's teammate and lover of all things Sakura?”

 

“Lee? Oh lord, with that green spandex, I bet he wears a damn speedo.”

 

Ino cracked up, giggling so hard she nearly dropped her tea on the floor, “A thong perhaps?”

 

Sakura groaned, the thought of Lee with a thong speedo wasn't exactly at the top of her fantasy list, though she had to admit as Lee grew older he had become increasingly more attractive (and less annoying) than he had been in his youth. If she could burn that damn green suit, give him a haircut, and parade him around in some non-green boxer-briefs he might make it onto her sexy list.

 

“That leaves Kankuro, but I actually know what he wears, ever since the mission to Suna to save Gaara,” Sakura whispered, “He wears boxer-briefs, and looks damn good in them too.”

 

“You little vixen, peeking at Kankuro when you're healing him, someone should put you on a leash, because you are one naughty kunoichi,” Ino teased, utterly amused by the death-glare she was receiving from Sakura.

 

“I hate you.”

 

“No, trust me, you don't. Have you put anymore thought into which of your four guys you're going to choose to make all your underwear fantasies come true? My vote is definitely for your sensei, he is one smexy specimen of ninja, though Sasuke…he's always been a favorite of ours, I'm just not sure I want you to have him.”

 

“Ino-pig, you are such a jerk, you still think you have a chance with Sasuke?”

 

Ino's eyes squinted knowingly, “Of course, if I wanted Sasuke I could have him in an instant, but over the years…” Ino added a theatric yawn to punctuate her little act, showing that she'd somehow become bored with the idea of being with Sasuke, “I prefer intelligent, non-brooding men, and no matter how hot Sasuke is, it isn't worth it if he's too wrapped up in himself.”

 

“Yeah, you just like Shikamaru too much now, that's why you've lost interest in Sasuke,” Sakura retorted, eliciting a warning glare from her blonde friend. “You should really make him give up Temari, it isn't fair to you.”

 

“He does what he wants, it isn't like I can really get him to do anything. I really don't want to talk about it.”

 

Sakura knew Ino was lying, because her friend cared deeply for Shikamaru, and was probably even love with him. “Be honest with yourself, Ino-pig, don't let him walk all over you. He's not that great, and if he can't see how wonderful you are, it's his loss.”

 

Ino leaned across the table and squeezed Sakura's shoulder, “Thanks forehead, you're such a good friend. Why don't we pay for our tea and go spy on your boys, with your chakra control I'm sure you could pull off a great invisibility jutsu.”

 

Sakura was confused, most likely spying would only reap moments of Sasuke and Naruto nearly killing each other while they sparred, Sai painting under a tree, while Kakashi sat up in a branch of said tree reading his porn…not exactly the most productive of reconnaissance missions in Sakura's opinion, but Ino's sinister grin told the kunoichi there was more up her friend's sleeve than just watching her teammates train.

 

“Just trust me,” Ino added as she grabbed Sakura's arm, pulling her up, “I've perfected my dreaming-body transfer jutsu, I can take over someone's body when their asleep and they will never know I did so, I just need you to help me shield my chakra. Think your perverted sensei will fall asleep by any chance?”

 

“Most likely, he usually reads a chapter of smut, and then takes a nap before breaking up the latest deathmatch between Naruto and Sasuke, what are you going to make him do?”

 

“I'm going to have him make a suggestion, seeing as the summer days are very hot, I think taking a quick dip in the nearby stream sounds like a pleasant plan. Your boys in their underwear, swimming and splashing about, that is definitely something to get excited about.”

 

Sakura had to agree, the thought of the four shinobi's beautifully sculpted bodies glistening and dripping with fresh mountain water, the wet fabric of their undergarments clinging stickily to their skin…that was a very enticing thought indeed. Sakura nearly bolted out of the door, dragging Ino behind her, her boys needed a swimming break, and they needed it now!

 

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END OF CHAPTER

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End of Chapter A/N's: Okay, I admit, I like the idea of men in their underwear, thus why I wrote this little piece of underwear-lovin' joy, and I like the idea of wet, glistening, half-naked guys frolicking in a stream even more, thus why it's happening in my story. Hee-hee. And don't take this too seriously, it's just a fun piece, bordering on parody.