Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Underwear ❯ The Grand Plan ( Chapter 8 )

Underwear

 

by thatreevesgirl/Lemon Drops (both me)

 

Chapter 8: The Grand Plan (AKA Naruto takes one for the team)

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A/N's:  This will probably not be what some of you are expecting.  I love all of you for reading this, but I have some really funny stuff coming up, and most likely it won't involve sex right away.  I'm being a tease with this fic, I'm good at doing that, but I want to make sure your hopes aren't all on sex, because it might take awhile.

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Somewhere in Kakashi's brain bells and alarms should have been sounding.  In fact, there was probably a bit of him screaming at that very moment, `Hey, there is something very, very wrong here, ol' chap, so don't be getting those pretty, black boxers in a twist quite yet.'  Kakashi of course let the more lewd side of his mind take over, and was mesmerized by the sight which had just popped out of the water. 

 

Only a few seconds ago Naruto had tackled Sakura into the semi-shallows of the river, a stupid strategy for the blond to try, it would only piss Sakura off.  The kunoichi had come up from the experience dripping wet, and smiled as she ran her hands up and over her beautiful, porcelain skin to her light-pink hair, where she slicked it back and smirked wildly at Kakashi.  This was right as the other Sakura (most likely candidate, a transformed Naruto since he was good with making the female form) was doing the same thing and eyeing the real Sakura rather naughtily. 

 

Was it wrong for Hatake Kakashi to be so greatly aroused by this sight?  The more he thought about it, the less Kakashi felt guilty for loving every minute of the glorious scene before him, especially when Naruto-Sakura leaned into the real one and pressed her…his…their bodies together.  In a single moment, every perverted thought that Kakashi had ever had in his life was put to shame by the erotic moment of having two, count them two, Sakura's playing in the water together.  Then Naruto-Sakura leaned in and licked the lower lip of the real Sakura, marking the beginning of a good two minute make out session between the two mirror images. 

 

Kakashi didn't know whether he should berate his students or applaud them, especially Naruto.  The copy-nin was considering making a plaque for the young man to thank him for his ingenious tenacity to win Sakura over, though somehow Kakashi wondered how Sakura making out with herself was any kind of turn-on to the young woman.  Matter of fact, it probably wasn't.  Kakashi sure wouldn't be aroused at the thought of kissing himself. 

 

The first red flag raised itself in Kakashi's mind.

 

Sakura, the real one (or at least the one Kakashi thought was the real one) sighed into the mouth of Naruto-Sakura and reached around and laced her fingers into the small strings of the fake-Sakura's underwear and tugged the ties apart, letting one side of the panties go slack.

 

“Naughty girl!” Naruto-Sakura exclaimed with a wide smirk as she plunged back into the kiss, thrusting her tongue into Sakura's mouth.  The other girl moaned and Kakashi nearly fell over dead, because it was his wet-dream come true.

 

The second red flag raised itself in Kakashi's mind.

 

The real Sakura got even more ambitious as she twiddled with the remaining tie of the undone underwear with one hand, while the other roamed up and gave the other Sakura's (the Naruto-Sakura's) breast a playful squeeze, making her moan and squirm.

 

The final red flag raised itself in Kakashi's mind, just as the two women pulled apart.  The one thing Naruto was never good at doing was maintaining his shadow clones while he was distracted, and the Naruto-Sakura was definitely distracted by the real one.  In a puff of smoke one of the Sakura's disappeared and with a coy smile the second one also puffed away. 

 

Two clones?  Two bunshin henged as Sakura?  That means neither of them were the real Sakura.  Kakashi could feel himself getting furious, because his students, namely Naruto, had tricked him.  None of the three idiots were anywhere to be seen, though a few moments before they had been looking rather angrily at him from a outcropping of rocks while he was talking with Sakura.  When he found them, and Sakura, he would kill each and every one of those smug little bastards.  Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai were not going to win, because there wasn't a chance in hell that he would let them.

 

(ten minutes earlier)

 

Naruto thrashed back down into the water, growling at Kakashi as he continued to fawn all over Sakura.  “We have to think of something, and we have to think of it soon.  I really don't wanna watch Sakura and Kakashi-sensei going at it.”

 

Normally Sasuke did anything and everything to disagree with his teammate and friend, but the fact that Kakashi was so clearly prevailing in their pretend contest to win Sakura was obvious.  “Plan, we need one, now,” the usually quiet young man demanded. 

 

Sai watched his teammates and rolled his eyes before responding, “How are we going to compete with him, she ignores us whenever he's around.”

 

Both Naruto and Sasuke groaned at that, but the blond nimrod starting grinning evilly, chuckling at whatever devious plot had hatched in his head moments before.  “What if Sakura couldn't see Kakashi-sensei?  What if she only had us to choose from?”  Both Sasuke and Sai looked more than confused at Naruto's questions, so he clarified, “Let's literally steal her away.”

 

Sasuke glared daggers at the idiot before growling, “And you think Kakashi will just let us sweep her away?  Tch, you are such a moron.”

 

Naruto hadn't thought about that, and Sakura probably wouldn't be too keen on the thought of being stolen either.  Naruto might have been an idiot when it came to women and relationships (and basic common knowledge), but he was rather adept at strategic planning.  “Heh-heh, what if she never left?  I could send out a bunshin as Sakura to replace her and Sasuke-teme can use his sharingan to put her into a trance long enough for us to kidnap her away.”

 

Sai thought for a moment, because it wasn't a bad plan, just one that wouldn't work, “No, Kakashi is smart, he'd notice right away that Sakura was a clone.”

 

Naruto grinned again, and this time he waggled his eyebrows at his friends and his grin grew into a downright evil toothy smirk, “Not if I distracted him with my clone-Sakura.”

 

“What do you mean by that?” Sasuke hissed, because the idiot wasn't making much sense at the moment. 

 

“Kakashi-sensei is a grade-A pervert, so if I gave him two Sakuras instead of just one, he'd be too unfocused to know the difference.”  Naruto looked rather pleased with himself, but both Sasuke and Sai shook their heads.  It was a good start to a plan, but even two Sakuras wouldn't be enough to fool the infamous perverted copy-nin.

 

Sai and Sasuke gave each other a look and both smirked at the same time.  There was one thing that those two Sakura's could do which would impede Kakashi's normal brain function, giving the three of them time enough to escape with Sakura in tow, but would Naruto be willing to do it.  A knowing nod was shared between the two dark-haired men as they turned their attention back to Naruto.

 

“We need something that will distract Kakashi completely,” Sai told the blond.

 

“Yes, completely distract him,” Sasuke echoed. 

 

Both Sasuke and Sai knew if they made the suggestion running through their minds Naruto would most likely balk at the idea and refuse, but if they made it his idea, then he might be more apt to actually do it. 

 

“But what would completely distract Kakashi-sensei from Sakura?  I don't get it, guys.”  Naruto pouted in the water after his little whining session and tried thinking.  After a few seconds a light bulb seemed to turn on in Naruto's head, and Sasuke and Sai shared slight nods as the blond looked to have an idea, a very, very perverted idea.

 

“I know what would make me lose my composure,” Naruto cackled.  “If I saw Sakura making out with SAKURA!  Do you think that would work?  Do you?”

 

“Do you think you can handle it?” Sasuke asked slyly, wanting to make sure Naruto was completely enamored with his own odd idea.

 

“Sure, I guess I'll just have to take one for the team,” he laughed.  Naruto nearly jumped up and down at his plan (well, thanks to Sasuke and Sai).  The other two men nodded in unison and the three of them began to put their plan into action.

 

(back to the near-present)

 

In a different part of the river about a mile away from Kakashi, the three younger male members of team seven were sitting in a similar outcropping of rocks to the one they had been at moments before with an unconscious Sakura. 

 

“I've hidden us fairly well, so it will take Kakashi a few minutes to find us if your bunshin falter,” Sai told his teammate.

 

“My bunshin are tough, it would take a lot more than stupid Kakashi to break them,” Naruto exclaimed loudly, which only garnered skeptical looks from both Sasuke and Sai.  “Shut up, bastards,” Naruto responded, not missing how little faith his two friends had in him.

 

Sasuke's eyes were still spinning in a lazy circle, keeping Sakura in a time-loop so that she wouldn't think anything was amiss.  When they decided to release the genjutsu Sasuke would make the appropriate leeway to the situation they were in now, sitting in the water together without Kakashi.  “We should agree to terms,” Sasuke said as he watched the peacefully sleeping Sakura. 

 

“Terms?  I thought we were going to use teamwork,” Naruto growled at Sasuke. 

 

Sasuke was currently too busy to glare at the dumbass, but he responded with “Do you really think Sakura is into gang-bangs?  I don't, tch, at least I hope not.  Underwear better be her only fetish, but what I'm saying is that I think there should be a limitation to how we win.”

 

“Afraid you'll lose without restricting us?” came the unamused voice of Sai as he watched the lovely young woman leaning against some rocks, her chest rising and falling slightly as she breathed peacefully, off living in some sharingan-induced dream world. 

 

Sasuke was a very egotistical jerk at times and responded coolly, “No, I just thought I'd be nice and give you both a fair shot.”  That little statement made Sai and Naruto fume, but the real reason behind his suggestion leaked out as he quietly added, “That and I think it would be best to respect her, so no touching and play nice.”

 

Naruto smiled at Sasuke, his friend was never one to come across as the good guy, but he usually got there one way or another.  Naruto nodded, “I agree, no touching, be nice to my Sakura.”

 

Sai and Sasuke both yelled at the idiot for that statement, and Naruto even began to argue back, standing in the water and throwing insults at both his teammates fervently.  The three were stuck in quite the fight when Naruto suddenly got the blankest of blank stares, and then a lewd smirk crossed his lips. Sasuke and Sai were confused to the cause of Naruto's unexpected silence (a rather odd occurrence for the blond to be party to), but they had a fairly good idea as something became quite evident in Naruto's underwear.

 

“Oh for Kami's sake,” Sasuke hissed, “Please do not tell me your bunshins failed, we haven't even woken Sakura yet.”

 

Naruto's glazed over eyes were focused somewhere off in the distance as he muttered, “That was soooo hot, I just made out with Sakura, twice.”

 

Sasuke couldn't believe what he had heard, Naruto just made out with a fake Sakura as Sakura…that was a new level of weird, even for the idiot.  “You are such a moron, Naruto.”

 

Naruto seemed unfazed by the mean-spirited comment, but when Sai added, “Do you realize that you just got a hard-on from making out with yourself?” Naruto's eyes turned from lust into horror.  That was a rather disturbing thought, because realizing your boner was caused by one of your shadow clones making out with another of your shadow clones was rather creepy.

 

“Thanks, you ruined my fantasy world, bastards.”

 

Though Sasuke was chuckling lightly at the blond moron, Sai was aware of how little time they had left at this point, “Kakashi will be onto us soon, so we have to act fast, wake her up.”

 

Sasuke nodded, and as his sharingan spun he said, “She'll wake up thinking Kakashi was called off on a mission and that we have just been talking, but she managed to doze off,” he informed the other two, “And Naruto, sit down before she wakes up to an eyeful of your crotch, that would definitely not help us at the moment.”

 

The acidic look Naruto gave Sasuke could have eaten holes through solid steel, but he chose to respond to it with, “Hmph, I bet it would help our chances if Sakura could see what a stud she might win.”

 

Sai shook his head, Naruto hurt his brain far too often with his stupidity, but the newest member of team seven added to that, “You're right, we wouldn't want to scare the poor girl off.  I hear virgins prefer their first partners to be small, so you would be a good candidate.  I think Sasuke or I would probably frighten her if we were in your condition, but she might take comfort in how reasonably little you are.”

 

Sakura woke to find Sasuke rubbing his temples with his forefingers as Naruto and Sai were battling it out in the water, fighting mighty fiercely with taijutsu in their underwear.  She looked at Sasuke, and then at Sai and Naruto, then back to Sasuke, then back to Sai and Naruto…this was not what was happening three seconds ago, because the four of them had been happily discussing fond memories, not… Sakura nearly fainted, why was Sai battling Naruto, who was currently sporting a massive hard-on? Not to mention where was Ino? The blonde woman was no longer in her head controlling every move, so none of this made any sense to Sakura.

 

“Sasuke?  What…what's going on?” she stuttered before closing her eyes and shaking her head.

 

“Nothing, apparently absolute nothing,” Sasuke managed to force out through his gritted teeth. 

 

That response was timed rather well with arrival of a very pissed off Kakashi, who was completely dressed.  With a couple of well timed kicks he managed to knock both of the fighting knuckleheads across the river to the opposite riverbank, and both Naruto and Sai flailed awkwardly as they flew through the air from the force of the kick.  “Get back to training, ALL of you,” Kakashi growled.  “No more swimming, none, never again, ever.  Do you four understand me?  Don't ever ask again, because it will never happen again.”

 

The three other men groaned, and Sakura was still confused beyond belief, trying to figure out where Ino was, and why Kakashi was back from his mission, but did he go on a mission?  Why did her head hurt?  Why did Naruto have a massive erection, and why was he fighting Sai?  Sakura wanted to cry, because what had started as a very promising day with four underwear clad men, was ending with more training.  Obviously she was repaying a debt from a former life with today's horridly odd humiliation, and the worst thing was all she could think about now was how sexy Kakashi had looked in those boxers.

 

Walking to the riverbank Kakashi held out Sakura's clothing, still glaring daggers at the other three men as they wandered off in their underwear, “Where are they going, Kakashi?” she asked, trying to figure out what had happened to their clothing which had been only a few yards from her own, but as she looked around more Sakura realized that this was a different part of the training grounds entirely.  “What did they try?” she asked dryly, nearing the amount of anger currently contained by her sensei.

 

“You don't want to know, Sakura,” he huffed as he started helping Sakura dress.  Sakura's own fury was forgotten as Kakashi tugged the mesh down over her head.  For a moment she had forgotten she was nearly naked, and now Kakashi, her ungodly handsome teacher, was helping Sakura put her clothing back on.

 

“I can do that,” she whispered, tugging the mesh away from him as she blushed the deepest shade of crimson known to man.  Kakashi nodded, and Sakura noted that he too was a bit redder than normal around the edges of his mask, but that might have been from his angry outburst at Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai.

 

“Sakura…” Kakashi's voice trailed off as he focused his gaze on the ground in front of him.  It was a bit amusing for Sakura to see the slight shyness in Kakashi's attitude toward her.  This was the kind of thing she only witnessed when the rest of team seven was absent, and she smiled as he continued.  “Would you like to come over tonight?”

 

Sakura's eyes bulged, Kakashi had been being very sweet, but he just propositioned her.  She managed to mutter an, “Eh?” in a rather shrill, astonished voice.

 

Kakashi realized his error and waved his hands while muttering, “No, no, no, I mean for dinner, come over for dinner.  I'll cook.  Cook, just cook.  Not that I'd be opposed to more, but I'm not expecting more…” Kakashi rambled on till he realized that he wasn't helping his cause as Sakura's face was still in shock.  “Sakura, would you please join me for dinner tonight?  Just dinner,” he asked.

 

“Just dinner?” she repeated, but could swear she heard Ino cackling and adding `only if you are cooking and eating in only those sexy silk boxers of yours,' but realized that in actuality she was currently alone in her own head, and those were her own thoughts on the matter. 

 

“Just dinner,” Kakashi confirmed.

 

“Okay,” she agreed numbly, continuing to dress as her sensei grinned madly at the thought of their future date.

 

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END OF CHAPTER

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A/N's:  I hope you found this funny.  I must give 90% of the credit to my little sister, she helped me with the plot.  If it hadn't been for her this story might not have updated for another month.  Also big thank you to Mako, because she helped me break out of my writers block.  I'm back, baby (at least I hope so @___@).  There are more hilarious chapters coming.

 

Quotations from upcoming chapters, can you guess who says them?

 

“Gai-sensei said it would be a most excellent façade.”

“Geez, I guess I'll have to take another one for the team.”

“Of course, I train every muscle in my body.”

“I cannot believe the five of you caused a diplomatic incident!  You might have seriously weakened out alliance with Sand with your stupid little club.”

“Nah, it's true, Kakashi is darn good, but Gai has always had a edge on him in that area of expertise, he's far more perverted than the copy-nin.” (I swear that the details of this WILL NOT be written about)

“I think we need a mascot.”

“He goes commando?  I did not need to know that about my own brother!”