Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Unrepentant ❯ Unrepentant ( Chapter 1 )

Unrepentant

 

 

Word Count: 1, 521

Rating: PG-13 for implications of sex.

Pairing: You get to figure it out.

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Naruto. If I did, do you honestly think I would be writing fanfiction? No, I would be playing with a bunch of smexy bishies.

 

 

 

 

It's true that he has killed. It's true that he has hated with every fiber of his being. It's true that he is volatile. It's true that he is cold. What isn't true is that he is uncaring. He cares deeply. Most wouldn't ever see this side of him. Most would never guess that he gave a crap about what went on around him as long as it did not affect him in any way. He doesn't know how to show that he cares in any way other than with his stern authority. But he wants to learn.

 

Most tiptoe around him like he is a piece of fragile glass. That is hardly true. How he could be considered glass like is something that has escaped him. He has never been hurt physically, so he can't fathom how the analogy of glass could be placed with him in mind. But when he thinks about it for a while, he realizes that he has been hurt physically, only once…but emotionally, well that is another story.

 

He wants to feel. Having grown up with little social interaction, little touch, and very little compassion has isolated him from what it is that shapes someone as something more than an animal and into a human being. He can't understand why people want to touch each other. He often asks himself why someone would want to wrap their arms around another person and press their lips to that person's mouth. It makes no sense to him. What the lure was that prompted individuals to seek skin-to-skin contact when humans were rather disgusting creatures on a whole was something that has escaped him. His brother was a prime example of the depravity and lack of hygiene that encompassed much of human kind as he has experienced. That withstanding, he is curious.

 

He wants to know. He wants to know what it is like to have another care about him. He wants to know what it is like to be overwhelmed by an emotion other than anger. He is quite familiar with that particular emotion already. He wants to know what it would be like to have someone moving against his body and what the heated touch of skin feels like. He wants to know the silken touch of petal soft hair. He wants.

 

He knows that he has done some things in his past that should never be forgiven. He has accepted this fact easily. He also knows that many consider him to be little more than an abomination, a monster. He agrees with them. He has changed since the anger filled years of his youth. He realizes now that he is sorry for what he has done and for all those that he has hurt with a single phrase and a few twitches of his fingers. There is much that he wishes that he could undo. He feels that there were deaths that need not have happened. He knows that he is not some god that has a right to decide who is to live or who is to die. No, he is not a god. He is a monster; he considers that to be one truth in his life.

 

One other truth is that he must pay for what he has done. He knows he must repent for the sins that he has committed and the lives that he has taken. This truth is why he feels that he has no right to think the things about her that he does. He is a monster, and she deserves more than to have his unclean thoughts soiling her purity. He does not deserve to have such a liberty.

 

But he wants it so. He wants her. Even as she has come to help him, his siblings, and his people, he desires her. He thinks that this may be what it is like to feel. This constriction in his chest whenever she is near is not like the threads of anger that snake through him daily from their source in his mind and the dark being that lies within him. No, this is different.

 

He wishes it was him that her gentle hands glide over with the utmost care. But it is obvious, at least to him, that this can't be. She touches them to heal their wounds. She touches to mend their broken flesh. He cannot be hurt, so she would have no need to run her hands over the skin of his body. He laments this fact, but then he remembers that she probably wouldn't want to touch a monster like him. He is unclean after all. His sins have made him unworthy of her touch.

 

She treats him like she doesn't care that he is a monster. This baffles him. He has hurt her before, so why? He wants to know why she doesn't run away or shy away from his gaze when he passes her like everyone else does. They claim to respect and trust him, but he knows different. They respect his position, and they trust his position, but they do not harbor those feelings towards him. But she is different. She seems to trust him. She respects him. This makes no sense in his mind. He rather thinks he likes it though.

 

He wants more. She leaned over his desk the other day to show him some medical research that she was planning on teaching to his shinobi. He couldn't resist inhaling a deep breath of her enchanting scent. He knew that it was wrong. But it made him feel, so he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry. He desires more than just these accidental encounters, so he studies her. He wants to know what makes her tick. He wants to be closer to her.

 

He finds out that she likes to watch the stars, so he joins her on the roof one night. She offers him a seat on her blanket. He doesn't want her to know that he wants to sit near her that badly, so he just grunts in affirmation. She doesn't move away when his sleeve brushes the uncovered skin of her leg. He is pleased. He makes it a point to meet her here many nights thereafter.

 

He finds out that she likes flowers, so he sends her some anonymously. She squeals in delight when she finds them on her doorstep. In retrospect, he realizes its probably not that surprising that she has a love of the delicate blossoms, they are after all so much like her. His sister comments to him that she has a secret admirer. He ignores his sibling's musings. He knows who this admirer is. It's no secret to him after all.

 

He discovers that she has a habit of talking to herself. He finds this amusing because it seems as if she has some other being inhabiting her mind. He knows what it is like to have a voice whispering in your thoughts. He feels a similarity to her. He likes this.

 

He kisses her one night on the roof. She stiffens in surprise. He turns to leave when she pulls him back. She questions him why, but he tells her that he was curious. She doesn't quite know what to think of this revelation. She asks him how deep his curiosity lies. He tells her that there is much that he wishes to know. She is says that she is willing to teach him. She pulls his face down to hers and gives him a deep kiss that shocks him to his very core and heats his blood with desire.

 

They kiss and touch; their clothes fall to the wayside. He finds out what it is like to feel his heated skin to slide against hers. He now knows what it is like to feel the petal soft silken strands of her hair. His wish to have her gentle hands gliding over him as they follow the path made by her lips as they trace the muscles of his body has been granted. He discovers what it is like to feel her muscles clench around his own. He learns what it is like to have her breathy moans resounding in his ear. He now knows this all. He now feels this all.

 

He knows that he should be sorry for his actions this night. He also knows that he has no right to have her lying within the questionable safety of his arms. He has a darkness inside of him that makes her vulnerable to harm, harm caused to her by him and his demon. He realizes that he is not good enough for her. He understands that he has damaged her with his filthy touch.

 

He knows he is sorry for his past. He knows that he most atone for his sins. He knows that he has taken something that should have never been offered to him. He knows that these moments within her arms are wrong, that they are not for him. He doesn't care. This is one sin he refuses to repent for.

 

 

 

 

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A/N:

 

Well, this one has been frolicking in my head with my fanart muses for several days and I finally decided that I needed to get it out of my system. It took me maybe about 2 hours or so to write, if you take out the times that I got distracted, it's probably less than that. I kind of wrote it on the fly, so there really was no game plan other than the theme of not wanting to take back that one sin. If you can't figure out who the characters are, then feel free to just ask me. I thought I had made it clear enough for everyone to come to the same conclusions…But if they didn't that's fine as well. Please take the time to press that shiny button that gives me a nifty review.

 

DFA