Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Voices ❯ Dear Gaara ( Chapter 10 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

May 3, 2005.

"Keep them closed for a little bit more." Says Lee.

He and Gaara have been walking for at least twenty minutes. Lee leading Gaara who has his eyes closed so that he won't spoil himself to the big surprise that his boyfriend has planned. Gaara already knows that this officially counts as their first date and the last thing he wanted to do is ruin it so there wouldn't be a second one.

"Aaaand," releasing the shorter males shoulders Lee jumps out in front of him, arms spread. "Ta-da! ....You can open your eyes now." He says cheerily.

Gaara opens his eyes spotting Lee first, then the building behind him.

Its a long stone fence with iron bars for doors, beyond it he can see a path but nothing more. A sign above read: Aquarium.

Looking at Lee with question he says. "Our first date is at the aquarium?"

Smiling, Lee shrugs. "Fish are fun to watch, and sometimes the big fish eat the little fish. I thought it'd be nice for you- that way you can still see some deaths."

That made the shorter male smile. It was the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to him. Heading into the aquatic zoo, hands held, the two males grab a map from the rack by the front door and follow the colorful little pictures to the polar bears den. The large white bears were putting on quite a show for the visitors, rolling about on the false snowy land or doing tricks in the water, drumming their bellies for food. The trainers allowed them to toss fish to the bears while he spoke about them. Lee was more interested in what the man had to say about the bear rather than feeding them, but Gaara's attention was full with their cuddly cute, ways.

Turning his attention to Lee after a while he says absently. "I always wanted a pet bear."

Nodding, Lee then cocks a brow in thought. "Aren't you afraid it would eat you?"

Shaking his head, he ceased feeding the animal. "No. With bears you have to give off a much bigger presence than their own, that's how they establish dominance."

The trainer smiles at the red head saying. "That's right youngman."

Gaara glared blankly at the man.

"Hmhmhmhm," Snickers Lee. "well, you've got no problem there." He replies seeing that the trainer sort of backed away without further comment.

They queitly watch the bears a moment more then head for another exibit. The penguines were the lively ones at the aquarium, they ran, jumped, climbed up on things with their bodies wobbling back and forth. It was so sweet. They didn't feed them though having already located a bathroom on the walk over to wash the fish smell from their hands. After the penguines the two held hands walking to another room, a happy hum in Lee's throat.

"Did you want any pets?" Asks Gaara suddenly. He really wanted to know more things about Lee. In all the time they've known each other they rarely spoke of anything personal, it was mostly just alot of junk of this and that.

"Once I wanted a dog, but when I moved here and met Kiba I found out that he has a dog," Lee says. "So that was enough for me."

"....I don't get how that could be enough. Doesn't it just make you want a dog even more?"

"Not really, I see Kiba just about everyday so it's like a I have a dog." Seeing the blank expression Lee says more clearly. "That's considered being happy with what you've got."

Thinking that over Gaara nods as they enter the inside of a whales mouth.

"Wow!" Lee shouts looking up at the huge tank surroundng everything of the room but the floor. "This is amazing!"

Gaara looks up as well watching a small shark swim overhead. He can't believe how large this tank is. A tug on his wrist alerts him to Lee moving and taking him with him. Following the taller male, they stand at the side of the tank wall.

"Let's see if we can find the fish on the plaques." Suggest the chipper male. Looking down at the plaque attached to a small podium, he says to himself. "Cuddle fish, cuddle fish...."

Gaara looks at the picture than up through the tank. "Its over there." He points. "See it at the bottom."

Lee looks for a moment, wide-set eyes scanning the gravelled floor and then he spots the white squidlike fish. Its little tentical wriggling as it pulls something free from the little blue rocks.

"I see it!" He shouts pointing like a child.

Gaara looks at Lee a moment, face trying to match the cheerful males. He's still working on his changes, still wishing to be like Lee but some things don't come as easily to him as they do other people and smiling was number one on that list.

"Come on, let's look for the tiger fish." He moves down a step.

Gaara watches his boyfriend head further away from him, looking through the tank where he's standing, he then turns away and heads across the room to the other side of the tank to look. His green gaze follows a silver school of fish slinking through the water in unison like a broad snake. But no tiger fish.

Stopping beside the boy he asks. "Did you find it yet?"

Gaara shakes his head walking further down along the wall. He spotted the clown fish, a blow fish, no tiger fish though. Glancing down at his side, he sees a little boy looking up at him. He blinks at the child, face unreadable. He's never had someone stare at him like that before except for- oh just about everybody. He knows what the boy is looking at, his racoon eyes. He thought for sure they would go away, he's been getting sleep lately and everything, but the rings around his eyes remain. So glaring at the boy, who whimperd when Gaara's full attention was on him, he leans over and says in a very dead tone.

"Boo."

The young boy screamed and took off for his mother or father.

Laughing, Gaara straightens up then turns on his heels to continue the hunt for the tiger fish but he stops nearly bumping into Lee. The taller male is looking at him with curiousity and a bit of disappointment.

"What?" Asks the red head.

"Gaara, you scared that little boy."

Looking over his shoulder at where the boy departed too, he shrugs. "He was staring at me like I'm a ghost, or a monster. I thought I should give him what he wanted." He looks back at Lee. "Are you disappointed in me?"

"No, its not that. I was just thinking about how rude some people can be."

Curious, Gaara asks. "Does that make you mad?"

"Not at all!" He shrugs. "You are who you are, I guess." Lowering his dark colored gaze, Lee says more softly. "I just wish people would be more curtious to one another."

Taking Lee's wrist he pulls him down a bit kissing him on the cheek. "Nevermind him. Let's go see the killer whales."

Blushing from being kissed in a public place, Lee smiles taking his lovers hand. "Okay."

The rest of the date went well for them. It was going to be one of those perfect days, or at least that's what they thought until dark clouds swell over the town and began their down pour. The two stepped out of the large pen where the seals are kept to find the entire aquarium is in the middle of a down pour; people are either leaving or seeking shelter within one of the exibits.

Feeling a droplet splash down on his nose, Lee unties the thin jacket he has around his waist, then holds it up over his and Gaara's heads, pulling the smaller boy as close to him as he could. "We'd better get someplace before we're drenched through."

Gaara nods.

"Hold onto my belt so you keep up." He orders and once the red heads hand is latched to his belt, Lee takes off at a sprint for the nearest covered location.

It just happened to be a bus stop. The long black painted bench is covered by a small glass room with a doorless entry way. Once inside its cover, Lee removes his jacket from over their heads giving it a good shaking in hopes to remove some of the water within it. It was a long run, luckily not as long as it could have been but it would be a while before the two could leave. Hopefully its one of those springtime storms that only last a minute or so.

Flopping down on the bench, hanging his coat across a bar infront of him, Lee tilts his head back and sighs joyously. "This is nice, isn't it?"

Stunned by Lee's words, Gaara shakes his head in disblief. "How can you say that, its completely ruining our first date.... It was supposed to be perfect."

Looking over at the moping male Lee wraps his arms around him hugging him close. "You mean to tell me you don't love this? The pitter patter of rain, nice shady sky, leaves overhead like something out of a nature pop-up book. This is nice where I come from."

Slight smirk, he turns his head slightly, moist hair mushing into Lee's. "Your very optimistic aren't you?"

"Mhmm."

Quiet a moment, Gaara asks curiously. "W- what would we be doing right now if it weren't raining?"

"Eating." Lee checks his watch. "Yeah, lunch. Can you picture it? We were gonna eat at a sandwich shop, I'd order for us and pay; we'd have to split them so we could each get something different. You would tell me you like mine better, and I would give you the rest of what I've been eating and you would give me yours."

Gaara gave a dry but honest laugh at that. "And then?"

"Hmm, then we'd go to the park and swing until we just about get beaten up by the kids waiting for our turn to end." Gaara's laugh continues causing a smile to break out in Lee and he laughs a bit as well. "Then we'd walk, hand in hand to nowhere- its nice to get lost when you're on a date, it keeps it interesting.... And I would steal a kiss from you when we walk home and I'd ask you to stay over, but, you'd decline because you've got something you need to do at which point you would surprise me with a-... hmm, something and then you'd stay over."

Calming his odd laugh, he says. "And you would trade all that in for this ruining rain?"

Nodding, Lee replies. "Everytime. Its good to have a slip up here and there in well laid plans."

"I don't think so." Gaara looks down at his lap and sighs. Though he did have to admit this is really nice, just talking like this, listening to the rain over head and the wind whipping it into the glass box from the sides. Looking back up he smiles at the leaves. Lee was right, it is nice.

Watching the red head, Lee says in a quiet voice. "Gaara, when did you become suicidal?"

Lowering his gaze, he looks at the dark haired male then replies vacantly. "When my mother shut down on me. I was young and didn't understand why she did it, I still don't understand it now.... the why.... I wanted to be with her where she went, but she wasn't listening on the outside; I saw all those dead people and they were always smiling, I thought, my mother must be trying to get there but she's afraid to be happy... I-... I told her that I would kill her if she wanted me to. That's when she began to scream at me- call me a monster and she shut me out forever. At least before she would acknowledge me, but not anymore- not until recently because of your help. That's why I wanna be like you. Your perfect."

Astonished by that, Lee laughs a bit. "Gaara, I'm not even close to perfect. Perfect is hard to reach, that's why I live and let live it keeps the world fun. It needs all kinds of people in it."

"Even monsters like me?"

"Yes...." Hugging him closer he says. "Gaara, you're the last piece to my puzzle of happiness. My beautiful disaster."

"Thanks." He says sarcastically.

Lee snickers and shakes his head. "No, that's a good thing. I can be what you aren't... a messed up kind of good."

"You're not messed up to me.... I don't want her to hate me anymore, Lee." Gaara sounded strange like he might cry in a minute. "I'm her son, and she didn't even know that when I said I wanted to kill her I meant I wanted her to be happy like those bodies... I knew that my father was the one that made them smile- I'm not stupid. I just wanted to know why? Is there something beyond that he wants them to smile and look forward to? Or not?"

"Belonging?" Asks the dark haired male.

"Yes. I want so much to belong. I always believed that you should eat the world before it eats you so I closed everyone off before they could shut me out first."

"Like your mother did."

The saddened boy nods.

"I see.... have you tried explaining that to her?"

"Recently. She said... 'I see', she spoke to me and hugged me. I thougt that I would lose my mind having received something so wonderful from her, having substituted my uncle for her so many times."

"That's why you love him so much, because they're identical twins."

"I would do anything for him, and he would do anything for me.... he laughed when I told him to die with me... Gave me a kiss and said I was an odd kid."

"Can you blame yourself, seeing death on such a large scale must have somehow effected you when you were growing up. It wasn't your fault."

"Mm." Intones the male. Closing his eyes, he asks, voice barely audible. "I saw that car coming, I wanted to get hit.... I wanted to see your reaction to it- would he care, would he roll his eyes thinking there goes another stupid kid.... you just kept watching me. And as the car hit, I saw your face.... so scared, and concerned- all of that was for me, a stranger. It felt nice. I thought that, if I died now at least I got to see what it was like to have someone care for me. I didn't think you'd stick around after that- why did you?"

"Because your eyes told me that we were the same. Wondering 'why was I singled out', 'why am I the one to be so different and mocked for it when its taken me so long to love myself.' I wanted to save you Gaara because I'm strange too, and from one beautiful disaster to another I didn't want you hating yourself."

Gaara blinked.

"I can't let you. I'm glad we met that day, because now I've got someone to love." He pops his forehead to the shorter males.

"...You love me?"

"I really do."

Gaara thought about that, he could feel it, deep within his self a smile spreading across his face.

Lee snickers on exclaim. "There's a handsome face." He pats him on the shoulder the strap of his backpack sliding down into view. "Look at that, my backpack. I forgot I was wearing this. We can call home for a ride now, our luck is turning around."

"Yeah." He meant that on a much deeper scale. Lee's helped him, with his mother, with his wanting to exist in a place where he wouldn't be alone... because now he knows he isn't alone, that his friends and family love him no matter how odd he may be. And now he has love to hold for his own. Lee.

"My uncle isn't home- wanna try your house?"

"My brother has a phone; my father and uncle are at a funeral and Temari is usually out. My mother never learned how to drive, so Kankurou is our only option."

Handing the red head the phone, he cheers. "Kankurou, it is."

And shortly after the call the two boys are picked up and brought to McDonalds to eat their missed lunch, then the older and talkative male dropped the two off at Lee's house. The two boys are walking into Lee's bedroom toweling their hair dry. They had taken their clothes off, having gotten soaked to their boxers from dashing back and forth in the steadily streaming rain, they cover their nudity with robes- Gaara is in his uncles since he only owns one.

Sitting down on the bed, Gaara says absently while settling himself beside the older male. "I know someone who's getting 3 pairs of robes and pajamas for his birthday this year."

Cocking a brow, Lee says in mock hurt. "Thanks for spoiling the surprise."

Attention intensly on his boyfriend, Gaara rests his head on Lee's shoulder. They've both changed a bit since they first met, Lee's gotten a bit buffer now that he can do athletic things like a normal teen, where as he's gained some new pains in his face while working on a pleasing smile. Truthfully he hates how his face is changing, it feels a little too... feminine. But no one's ever said anything or called him pretty so maybe its all in his head.

"Lee?"

"Hmm." He removes his gaze from the window where he watched the rain to Gaara.

"Thank you for being the slip-up in my well laid plan to kill myself."

Smiling, he wraps his arms around the shorter male, head resting atop of the still damp red spikes. Glancing down, he found himself absently parting the boy's messed up bangs that Gaara had brushed over the scar from the accident. He could tell that the red head had covered it for their date but Lee didn't mind looking at the hardened blood and skin, it actually looked like the symbol for 'love' as weird as that seems.

"Before," Gaara continued. "when you said you love me... I feel something like that for you too." Removing himself from Lee's grip he climbs into his lap like a little monkey, wrapping his arms around Lee's neck while keeping the male pinned between his legs and thighs as he hugs him. "What I feel is dumb, like I don't have a clue how to think anymore, or what to feel but you have all the answers and I can suck them from you when we're together to have them when we're apart." Fingers touching to Lee's lips, Gaara leans up to his face. "I want to taste them again."

Pressing his lips to Lee's the red head's hand caresses the darker haired males cheek, his fingers fanning through Lee's silkly and always well kept hair. When his pinky brushed the males exposed ear, he turns his lips attention to just that. He's always liked Lee's ears and he tended to it with a rimming from lobe to center where he flicked his tongue in and out of the hole. Lee shuddered to the core when his boyfriend's teeth came down on the end of his ear to give it a nibble, he had no idea he was so sensative there. But as Lee's eyes half-lid to closed, they open again as his attention is now focused on the peep show Gaara's genitals are giving him as the red head rolls his hips in little circles over his own, still covered by robe, package. Oh sure, they've had make-out sessions in which they'd grind each other to completion but they've never been naked for it and Lee was afraid they he'd forget his manners and end up doing something with Gaara that he's not ready for. Not like his little lover gave out hints to otherwise but didn't he think he was a bit too young still.

"Aahh" Lee sighed hazily as he feels his erection trying to move his robe aside to play with Gaara's that's pressing into his stomach. The little red light in Lee's head went off and he lowered his hands attempting to cover Gaara up, but his little lover had other ideas and moved his hands to cup his buttocks.

Arms tightening around Lee's neck the red head deepens their kiss, his tongue swirling in Lee's mouth and running along the roof of his mouth, the tip giving chaste touches to the tips of Lee's tongue that fought it back into its owners mouth as he took over their kiss. Wanting to give Gaara's face some attention, the older male kisses Gaara's chin, cheek then forehead where his consolation for attempting suicide lay. Gaara's moans are breathy pants as he grinds his hips harder into Lee's kneading hands that are still anchored to his rear.

Kissing Gaara's neck his ear choose then to regain their use and he can hear Gaara say what sounds like 'come on' before his hands part his green robe before the final meeting of their hips which caused Gaara to spill over Lee's genitals. Hunched as he regains his breath for only a second, Gaara grabs Lee by the thighs pulling him down so that he's on his back, before Lee could protest, Gaara silenced his words into moans as he grabbed a firm hold of his now stickier erection. Mouth coming down over Lee's taut nipple, Gaara lavishes attention on the nub, giving it nips and licks before switching to the other. Chills ran up his spine as Lee whispered his name and he replied to the unasked question of 'is it real' by whispering a 'yes' into his ear while pumping him harder so much harder that Lee actually may have left finger prints on Gaara's butt as he came.

Gaara was sure to allow his lover's spill to get over his lap as he let Lee's. Thuroughly spent, Lee pulls Gaara to him kissing him on the lips but Gaara is going for broke today, hands moving behind his back he reaches between them slipping Lee's flaccid member into his body with one fluid motion. He practiced in the tub one day. He's seen the length and width of Lee before he's excited he only needed to work on feeling that, and really this was the better way, so that when Lee became erect his fullness would forever be imprinted within him.

"Gaara wha-..." Again his words are disolved to nothing but moans as Gaara rides him to stiff.

"I want you to always be there for me Lee." Says Gaara.

"I'm not going anywhere." Lee manages to say.

"Always." He repeats.

"I will."

"Always....." Gaara hears himself say before his blurred eyes slowly open.

He can hear the squeaking of those damned ghosts again.

Wait a minute. Thinks the male taking in his surroundings. What happened to me now that I'm back in the hospital? He half expected to see Lee at his bedside saying he tore something during sex, but he felt fine. Turning his head, body creaking and cracking in restrain, he spots a cup of water. Reaching out for it he knocks the cup clean from the table side. Hm? He wonders when his reach got so long infact, he felt really weird altogether. Bending his knees, he's shocked to see that they're a lot further down in the bed than they normally would be. What the hell is going on?

"And then I was all-..."

That voice? Gaara tries to sit up.

At first the blond just looked bewildered into the room, but noticing the steady movement he began to shout. "He's awake!!"

Gaara wondered who that guy was. He looked like Naruto but, he's too old to be his spunky just as short as himself friend. Before Gaara could make sense of things the room is filled with people all smiling and patting him on the shoulder. A doctor came in checking his vision with a tiny light, until he pushed him away causing everyone to laugh.

"That's my little brother for ya." Says a woman that can't be Temari- she's too old!

"How do you feel?" Asks his once absent mother. Even she looks older somehow and very concerned with worry lines here and there.

"Fine." His voice is dry like he's been asleep for a long time. "What's going on? What happened?"

"Gaara," says the doctor. "you've been in a coma for 4 years. Its now 2008."

"What?" He didn't believe that. Does that mean... does that mean it was all a dream. "Where's Lee?" He asks again searching the semi grown faces for answers.

Naruto wondered how he knew the name of the bug browed boy that his boyfriend introduced him to when Lee and Gaara never even met.

"Here I am." Says Lee, his hair grown-out exposing both ears and forehead. "Its nice to see you again, Gaara." He said, his closeness to him sounding so unfamiliar but familiar.

A dream.... it was all a dream. He doesn't know me... I never did any of the things that I dreamt. But... this means that I get a second chance. A second chance to make everything right. He thinks before giving everyone an uncharacteristic smile. He's gonna try to be a better person. He really will.