Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Wasted Years ❯ Ch. 9: Apology ( Chapter 9 )

Wasted Years

by Mizerable

Ch. 9: Apology

* * *

"Quit pacin'. You're startin' ta make me agitated," Yanagi demanded crisply, accented by the smoke curling from her lips. She was in a corner like most other nights leaning against the wall watching the boy. Though tonight Uchiha continued to walk back and forth, forward and back. His hands shook so badly, he could barely keep his hold on his cigarette. His hands were doing that a lot lately.

"Are you that afraid?" Well that finally got him to hold still for a change. Though his hands were still running away. "Are people from your village that powerful? Ya seemed to make easy work outta that Anbu girl."

"It's not fear I'm feeling," he replied gruffly, "But I'm not relishing the idea of dealing with an entire village. We've already got our hands full."

"No. I've got my hands full," she retorted and stubbed out the butt against the floor, "You're just the stray cat I picked up. You could'a gone home a long time ago and not had to deal with either problem." His face seemed to darken considerably. He certainly had a problem with being told the truth.

That maybe have been true of Sasuke, but that wasn't what he was hearing in her words. He heard his uselessness to her. Yanagi was a woman who spent her entire life completely and utterly alone. She could place no faces with a family long-since lost. She didn't have a village to abandon. She had no people to ever seek anything from. She'd only the road and deemed no one as valuable except herself. The truth of the matter was she could very easily continue the mission to wipe out the Akatsuki without his assistance. She never actually needed him there in the first place.

It was Yanagi who held the capability of killing Itachi, not him.

Yanagi didn't like the expression on his face one bit. In all honesty, she expected him to start sulking or maybe start arguing with him. After spending three years with the kid, he was a pretty easy read. But right now, things were rumbling around inside him and she couldn't name what any of those things might be. He decided to approach now, though why he would try to pick a fight was beyond her understanding. She learned he rarely came close of his own volition and it was very, very rare that it would be to snuggle. For that, he would sit with her, giving her nervous glances before she pulled him close. Usually when he approached like this, it was to fight. He hadn't done anything that stupid in a long, long time. Back in those days he'd been a frightened, rabid animal that couldn't understand the more he struggled against his disease, the quicker it killed him.

* * *

It had been raining that day, as far as she could remember. In that place, time was marked by the rare appearance of the sun. What she did recall was the light had a tendency to constantly shy away from their path. She was also fairly certain that this weather was rather disagreeable to her traveling companion, who was overly pampered by a much milder climate. Plus the lack of eating was something new to him. Sure he probably ate very little back wherever he came from, judging from how he looked the first time she met him. But his appetite, like everything else, was dulled so far as things went back there as well. Now that he was truly struggling to live through another day, all his senses were sharpened to a finer point. This, of course, included his sense of hunger.

She contemplated hunting for something for him to eat but there were reasons they never did pause for such things. First and foremost, every second of the chase counted and needed to be spent precisely on that. Stopping to eat gave the enemy a little more distance. Next was the evidence. Even if they didn't use a fire to cook an animal, the blood would soak the air heavily. Animals had bones. Nuts had shells. Apples had cores. Eating anything, more often than not meant leaving some sort of remains. Anything left behind could signal their location. So that's what she told him and that's all he needed to know. He didn't need to know of her personal concerns.

They could not spare those minutes, minutes that may lead to her continually looming execution.

They didn't have the luxury to get around such simple problems, either. Bread and noodles cost money that they couldn't spend; especially since he had no idea she robbed people just to have the little bit they had. She wasn't about to part with her smokes and booze either, items that long since became familiar lovers along her travels. Uchiha had long since lost his annoyance with those two and even found himself partaking in the affair. Maybe he was right to say she was no good for him.

Even with the rain, she couldn't ignore the sweat dripping down his brow. The ragged breathing and his staggering steps were only confirming his likely fever. He hadn't grown accustomed to this life at all yet, constantly falling ill. But she couldn't stop to pamper him. He'd just have to grow tougher skin and get over it; she stopped getting ill when she was a child much younger than him. If she could live through it then so could he. The strangled cry was the only warning she received before he hit the ground.

With a frustrated sigh, she approached his crumpled form with a full lecture in mind but the words died in her mouth. The boy was grasping at this neck while those curse markings scorched his flesh. It wasn't the first time she had seen it since that day he stabbed her a few short months ago. Since then, she was often a witness to his way of "handling" it. Thus, why he his arms were continually wrapped in bandages. The startling sharp pain he would render upon himself would usually give him enough focus to fight off the curse.

His other hand reached for his kunai but Yanagi absolutely was sick of this. He wasn't going to defeat anything at this rate. Did he have a death wish?

Her foot connected sharply with his jaw and sent him sprawling flat on his back. Pulling himself into a crouching stance, he couldn't hold back the snarl accompanying his Sharingan glare. The seal burned across more of his flesh but she didn't show anything on her features over that. "This is gonna stop now. What you're doin' to yourself is ridiculous." His lips curled back just like the rabid dog she thought him to be.

His blood boiled with indefinable fury. All he wanted was to defeat his brother yet he somehow managed to get pulled into a world that left him starved, sickly, and always recovering from another fight. Every time he even attempted to fight back against an opponent, the curse seal reacted painfully. It was as if Kakashi never trained him to control it in the first place. But since Yanagi managed to defeat any enemy anyway, it normally didn't matter.

It was every night he could feel her dissatisfaction with him as he dressed her latest injuries, most of which were nothing to be considered serious. But most of which could have been avoided if he were of any use. Being around her was a constant reminder of how utterly weak he was as a shinobi. And right now, his body was just itching to prove itself. Surely he had to be worth something. Surely he had the power somewhere locked inside to defeat Itachi.

Yanagi just happened to be the object of his scorn.

But even with the Uchiha blood, even with the Sharingan, even with the curse seal…She was still winning. Blow for blow, she matched him. More importantly, the hits she connected were stronger. Why was she so beyond his reach?

Both completely scuffed up and bleeding, Yanagi could hardly deny she somewhat enjoyed it. A good fight always made her blood sing, especially since it seemed she was the victor. Poor little Uchiha could barely sit up and was now propped up against a tree. She could almost be amused by the sheer idiocy of it all if he didn't have the curse still scrawled across his body. At least his eyes appeared a bit more contented. Taking a seat somewhat gingerly by his side, she gave him a long stare. "Just what the hell am I gonna do with you?"

She raised an eyebrow when he leaned in for a kiss but his lips met with the palm of her hand. Ah, not too shocking. The curse did weird things to him so it shouldn't be a surprise if he felt a tad lusty after a decent fight. God knows she was guilty of that after a good scuffle, as well. Today, however, she was not having any of this.

"You want me, Uchiha? Fine, I don't care. But not when you look like that. You get yourself under control and I'm game."

He didn't look pleased and instead mumbled a request for a cigarette. All the kid needed was a distraction. A good lay or smoke burning his chest. Anything to make his mind find some small focus away from his mental and physical anguish. He never made a pass at her after that, whether under the power of the curse seal or in full control. Though the seal came out less and less now that it had someone there to kick its ass all the time. And she really threw a beating on him sometimes. Other times she'd just hold his hand and talk him through it. Whatever it took to bring him back to his senses.

More importantly, she was teaching him to control his emotions. When he was objective about their work, things always ran smoothly.

The smoking seemed to help, too.

When she decided sleeping with the kid wasn't a bad idea, he lacked the interest. She would make a move on him and he would stare at the ceiling. It really felt like he wasn't there, or maybe that she wasn't. Either way, she never got his attention until she told him to think about that girl he left behind. The girl must have been beautiful. Or at least didn't have her skin cross-stitched together.

* * *

Now that he was crouching before her, she couldn't help but snap back into reality. It's sort of comical how the passage of memory can so easily distort the passage of time. "Kid, if you're tryin' ta pick a fight, you can sleep out in the snow for all I care. I ain't in the mood for it…" His hand was gentle as is caressed her cheek, her hair spilling over his fingers. Her eyebrows arched at him in surprise. He was a lot of things to her and kind wasn't usually one of them. She definitely had a plan in mind to question him on it. But that was before he kissed her.

Well that was a first. He never initiated anything when it came to this sort of stuff so she was justifiably anxious over what he had planned. Was he just lonely? Or maybe he did hold a great deal of fear over facing the Leaf shinobi. There was a certain degree of urgency that she could sense in him as he tugged off her clothing. It also seemed he was going to have her right here against the wall without even uncurling from their crouched positions. Not that she really minded. The grain of the wood clawing at her back wasn't wholly unpleasant. It crossed her mind that maybe this wasn't the best idea since his curse was making a guest appearance. Maybe. It was hard and frantic but it didn't feel like rough sex. The rawness of it, the emotion of it gave it a sweeter edge.

It felt like an apology.

* * *

"He's leaving, Ino. He's really leaving me." Her eyes were blank as she spoke, but Ino knew it was when Sakura didn't cry that she was hurting the most. She didn't know what else she could do, save for rubbing Sakura's back reassuringly. She certainly didn't know how to ease the pain when a loved one suddenly left. All she was capable of now was cursing her stupidity for not asking Shikamaru years ago about how he felt. The mission already sent Hinata back home and straight to the hospital and no one was telling just who exactly did it to her, but it must have been someone immensely powerful. She didn't want Shikamaru facing someone like that.

But none of this answered the riddle as to why Naruto was joining the Hunter-nin. Naruto hated killing people. None of it made any sense!

As if Sakura read her mind, it seemed she was about to try and explain his reasoning. Though Ino was absolutely positive the girl was just as clueless about the whole situation.

"Naruto and I…We haven't had sex yet." Okay, that wasn't what she expected as a reason, at all. "Whenever we get too involved…I can't stop the images from coming into my head-"

"You don't need to say it," Ino knew where this was leading now. Sakura may think she had everyone fooled but it was obvious how much the attack still weighed on her mind, the attack she blamed for being the catalyst leading to Sasuke's death. The death she still blamed herself for.

"I must look so pathetic to him…To Naruto," Sakura mused wryly, trying to pretend it didn't hurt, "Every time he tries to show me he loves me, I start crying and shoving him away."

What could Ino say now? Three years of telling Sakura that none of this was her fault hadn't sunken in at all.

"Naruto may be a little dense, but he knows you've been through a lot. If he didn't care, he never would have stayed with you this long," Ino reminded her.

"Except he's leaving now."

"No, that's not…" That wasn't what Ino meant, at all. It was always another misunderstanding…

"I've tried so hard to become a good shinobi…Kakashi-sensei told me a long time ago that I had a talent for genjutsu. I trained so hard to learn it, even asking Kurenai-san for extra training…"

I tried so hard to fool everyone.

I've tried so hard to learn a counter-justu to the illusions that man used against me that night.

"Even with all my work, I'm still only a chuunin."

"So you're a chuunin!" Ino's reprimanding tone took over, "There's no shame in that. Iruka-sensei's 'only a chuunin' and you still respect him, don't you?"

"Yeah, but…"

" 'But' nothing! You're a respectable Leaf ninja. What do I have to do to make that sink into that dense skull of yours?"

Make everyone stop protecting me.

Keep them all from dying for me.

"He's probably going to chase after him…Naruto is going after that man just like Sasuke-kun had…"

Sasuke.

It was known as a taboo word when it came to Sakura. Everyone knew she visited the memorial often, even if she never mentioned his name. Ino felt a little sorry for Naruto, who like Sakura said, was probably running off to be heroic and tragically stupid for her sake. And if Naruto was chasing Sakura's attacker, then it was likely that he wouldn't be coming home again. Ino couldn't help but wonder if Hinata's attacker had been the same man. Then again, if it had been then Hinata would likely be dead by now. It was a miracle in and of itself that Sakura survived that night three years ago.

What if Shikamaru was ordered to find that man?

"Sakura, I don't know what I can do to make you pain any easier. Saying 'I'm here' probably won't cut it-"

"Will you be?" Ino hadn't expected that answer, either. "Will you stay here?"

Ino was always stronger than her and always could stand on her own two feet. She could forget her love for Sasuke, grit her teeth, and her hard work made her a jounin. Yet she still found the time to mind Sakura, as well.

By now, Sakura couldn't tell if it was herself or Ino that she hated more.

* * *

Sasuke had been deceiving everyone all these years.

Days later and Naruto was still fuming over it. He regretted having to leave Sakura behind but after that bastard made her suffer so much, it was all for the best. It would break her heart to hear what Sasuke had become. When he told her of his plans, it hadn't been easy. Of course the tears came along with her questions. Why was he joining the Hunter-nin all of a sudden? Naruto told her it was to find the man who left her feeling so sad all the time.

Naturally, both had a different man in mind but it couldn't be helped. It's not like he could go after a "dead" man. Even though it hurt to make Sakura think he was going after her attacker, even though it hurt to make her think he was facing the one who "killed" Sasuke…There was no way in hell he could tell her the truth. It was better to let her think Sasuke died a hero. God knows he wished the jerk had gotten himself killed years ago.

But Naruto was still left with more immediate questions. Sasuke was easily able to disarm an Anbu soldier so he had to know what to expect when fighting him. And there was only one person he could ask about it: Hinata Hyuga.

It felt a little weird walking towards her hospital room. He saw her now and then in the village but had barely said a word to her in three years, not since the day he made her cry. The same day they received the news about Sasuke…Damn it! He wasn't going to think about that right now. He had to think about facing Hinata and getting important information for his mission.

Facing Hinata wasn't going to be easy. Watching her from afar, it was impossible not to notice that she changed over these last three years. Just like everybody else. Of all the people in the village that became great assassins, he didn't like that she was one of them. It left a sour feeling in his stomach to think that a shy girl like Hinata would become an expert killer. She may have struck him as a little odd when she stuttered and blushed every time he used to talk to her, but he was sure he didn't like the new Hinata either. She had been good with all her herbal remedies…She probably should have become a doctor or something. Why did she need to do this to herself?

Naruto knew it was time to push these thoughts away, as well. He couldn't think about these sorts of things right now. With his hand on the door, it suddenly opened and left Naruto face-to-face with Kiba. Naruto opened his mouth to say hello but instead took a fist to the jaw. "What the hell was that for!?" he shouted. He was about to be nice to the ass!

"You son of a bitch," Kiba mumbled, "All this time, she…Fuck it. Forget it." Naruto was about to go storming after him but a cold look from the nurse on duty made him think otherwise. Besides, Naruto didn't have time to waste on that jerk. He needed to leave on his mission soon. But that certainly didn't mean he wouldn't bitch about this first.

"Geez, why are you dating a jerk like that?" Naruto griped as soon as he entered the room. Nothing like a good distraction to ease his way into meeting with her.

"He's not my boyfriend," came Hinata's curt response while she stared out the window. Why? Why was Naruto showing up now?

The puzzled look he was giving her meant he probably didn't know she and Kiba broke up. Thus, he didn't understand that they broke up over him. If only she hadn't said his name…

"So what brings you here?" Hinata's voice was bland, like unpolished steel. Naruto was right to think the new Hinata would be hard to accept. "I know who hurt you," Naruto was amazed how stable his own voice sounded under the scrutiny of her eyes, "I joined the Hunter-nin to go after him."

"Then what are you doing here? Shouldn't you already be leaving?"

She couldn't help but be cold to him. Three years swimming in a sea of blood just for him to even say hello, but he comes to her now. He came to her because she happened to be the one who found Sasuke. She was still unimportant to him.

"I was wondering if you could tell me some stuff to expect. I don't wanna face him unprepared." Her eyes hardened and he felt pretty foolish. Words wouldn't prepare him for anything. Hinata was Anbu, making her prepared for anything. Maybe he insulted her somehow by making it sound she wasn't ready to face Sasuke.

"I already gave my report. I'm sure that should be sufficient." She didn't want to talk to him anymore. How was it that someone who hadn't even been a part of her life for these past years still made her heart ache? The more she spoke to him, the more she could feel her tongue struggling over her words. The more she could feel her cheeks heat up. She supposed it was pretty admirable that he, too, would become something he hated in order to meet with his long lost teammate. So that he could protect the woman he loved…

That thought was enough to pour ice in her veins.

"Are you really going to leave Sakura-san behind over this?" Naruto flinched over hearing it out loud. It somehow sounded harsher aloud than in his head. "He might kill you."

"No way! I've trained so hard…hard enough that I even got the permission to go on this mission! There's no way that bastard could defeat me!"

"I only lived because he let me. Against a full-fledged hunt, he'll grow desperate-"

"Nothing you say can change my mind," Naruto cut her off. How could Hinata even argue with him about this? After what that jerk did to her…This wasn't going to get an answer out of her. It was better to just get out of here. Halfway out the door, her voice hit his ear much like her style of attack. It was soft and he barely noticed it but it left him hurting all over. "Can you kill your friend?"

"We were never friends."

**I hated you…**

Naruto tried to suppress the memory. Sasuke had risked his life to save him that day, without even giving it a second thought. He never once admitted it, but some part of Sasuke must have cared about his team even a little bit. He never would have been willing to throw it all away that day against Haku otherwise. He never would have held Sakura close that day at the hospital.

If he hated this place as much as it seemed, he would have killed Hinata immediately and spared himself the trouble of being hunted by the Leaf.

"Why did he let you live?" Naruto asked, approaching the bed again.

"He didn't."

What? Hinata was obviously alive. Plus she just said she live because he let her so what the hell did she mean? Sensing his confusion, she continued.

"He's traveling with a young woman. She convinced him to spare me."

"A woman?" Naruto hadn't heard about this part at all. Why would Sasuke have a woman with him? "Is she a shinobi?" Hinata nodded. She wondered how Naruto would handle all the observations Hinata made about the two.

"Yes…Her build is very misleading but she was quite strong," Hinata was still amazed how much force the woman put behind simply blocking an attack. But now to finish her analysis… "But it seems they are also lovers." Telling Naruto she found them practically undressing each other while intoxicated at a bar would be a bit much.

Naruto couldn't choke back the bitter laugh. So Sasuke finally found a girl…Would she be like Sakura? That hug at the hospital all those years ago proved to Naruto Sasuke must have cared about Sakura a great deal. The bastard was never one to show emotion to people. A normal response from him to Sakura would have been something along the lines of saying she was fortunate not to have died and that would have been the end of it. It was forgivable if Sasuke had died like the hero they all thought he was. Why did he hug her and then never come back?

Why didn't he just come home?

Hinata was rolling up her shirt and peeling away her bandages, despite Naruto's protests. He had doubts all along but she wanted to wipe them away before he left on this mission. It would get him killed otherwise. "This is what he's capable of." Even with the sutures, it was an ugly puncture through her gut. It must have been painful. Naruto's fingers unconsciously reached out to touch it but her pained gasp left his fingertips brushing against the skin around it.

"It was a powerful hit," Naruto murmured, not feeling completely compelled to move his hand. Sasuke really did plan on killing her. There was a chance that Naruto wouldn't be standing her with his hand on Hinata's stomach, talking to her in this room. She could have become a hero. He didn't like the thought of never again watching Hinata from afar, something he did more often than he realized. He had run the words over and over his head to apologize for making her cry all those years ago but never knew how to give them to her. She became so hard from all her years serving as a shinobi, something heartfelt and stupid like that probably wouldn't make a difference to her anymore.

"When you face him, that woman might not be there."

Your chance at being spared might not be there.

"I'm sorry," Naruto stated flatly, surprising Hinata, "I never apologized for making you cry."

Just as quickly as he said it, he was gone and Hinata couldn't help but respond.

She cried.

* * *

They caught up fast.

Perhaps he shouldn't have listened to Yanagi that time and just killed Hinata. It didn't matter how much he didn't like the idea of killing her, but it couldn't be worth this. Even if Yanagi's judgment was usually right, they would now have no choice but to kill the ninja chasing them. There were too many for them to run from and get out of it alive.

"I thought being in the Aohi meant they couldn't kill me as a missing-nin-" Yanagi's hand clamped over his mouth, her eyes telling him they would have this discussion later. If they even had a later. Of course, it decided to rain again now that they ran back to Cloud Country. Obviously, Fire Country was not one of their options to flee into.

The Leaf were certainly adamant in making sure he was terminated. After dodging some Anbu, they found themselves now running from the Hunter-nin. Sasuke couldn't quell his uneasiness in being reacquainted with those needles again and had so far steered clear of them. Just as he and Yangai prepared to move on, an ambush struck. She jumped one way, he in the other and in less than two minutes he had no idea where she was. Just friggin great.

His Sharingan brought out, he was able to locate where the Hunter pursuing him was located and drew the attacker out into the open. Something gave him the feeling that the person wasn't all that against being seen here in the clearing, either. More unsettling was how familiar this person's chakra felt. Well, the person was from Konoha so he probably had met whoever it was at some point. Though with the face concealed behind a mask and a hood pulled over the head, this person remained a complete mystery.

This one didn't seem very interested in wasting time, either, and was also very good. But it would be best just to get this over with as quickly as possible. Drawing out the curse seal while remaining objective had become easier, thanks to Yanagi. He couldn't think about defeating Itachi since Itachi wasn't there. The Hunter-nin was and that was whom he needed to concentrate on.

A few quick hits sent his opponent flying backwards until his back slammed into a tree. Despite his curse craving this one's blood, Yanagi would be furious if he killed a Leaf. He didn't want to bring any problems to the Aohi; everyone in it already had enough to deal with.

"Stay down. If you get up, I will kill you." Sasuke turned away. He needed to find Yanagi now. That had been the plan until a needle whizzed by and grazed his arm.

"Sasuke, you bastard!"

He froze in place. That voice…there was no way...Ignoring the cut on his arm, he whirled around to face the figure slowly climbing to his feet. Pulling the mask away, Naruto glared at him with furious eyes.

"Naruto…?" The curse seal faded away from the shock. Naruto's a Hunter-nin?

"Why the fuck did you become a missing-nin!?"

"What business is it of yours?" Sasuke replied bluntly. There's no way Naruto could begin to understand what any of this was about. He wasn't about to drop his guard no matter how long they knew each other or for being teammates.

"You arrogant ass…" Naruto mumbled, barely able to contain his rage, "We thought you were dead!"

"I think I was." That's what it felt like three years ago, waking up to meet Yanagi for the first time. Leaving everything he ever knew, suffering that horrible defeat…yeah, it felt an awful lot like dying.

Naruto couldn't believe this guy! He was just so fucking cool about everything. And he had those weird marks again! Sakura explained to him that those were because of something that creepy snake guy Orochimaru did to him. Naruto didn't get it too much but he knew those markings were no good. Maybe that's why the bastard was so damn skinny. The guy had lost a lot of weight over the time they knew each other, but he really was just all bones now.

And now the bastard was lighting a cigarette!? When the hell did that start!?

"If you're gonna kill me, then try and kill me," Sasuke stated as the flame took to the tobacco. Naruto seemed pissed enough to try just that, even though his hands were trembling enough to make the needles clang together. He was morbidly curious to see it the dead last idiot had it in him.

A scream ripped through the air and both partied lost momentary interest in each other. Moments later, Yanagi arrived helping along a Hunter-nin while both carried fresh injuries. Catching her glance, Sasuke could read "Akatsuki" in her eyes. Laying the injured Hunter near Naruto, she looked up at the two standing with a grave expression on her face.

"We got trouble."

To be continued…