Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ We Call These 'Tweezers' ❯ 3 ( Chapter 3 )

"There. I'm done," Lee called from behind the closed door, breaking Neji out of his reverie. The Hyuuga slid the door open, poking his head inside his bedroom. And smiled.

Neji didn't do a whole lot of smiling, and the expression threw Lee off-skelter and disappeared the scowl he had so defensively worn. "What're you smiling about?"

His eternal rival grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the backroom, backing the two of them away from the mirror in order to get the full effect. "Look."

Lee frowned. "It doesn't look like me."

"It looks better."

The frown turned into a scowl, and Lee backed rebelliously away from the odd image in the mirror. "You keep saying that, Neji. But does it look good?"

 

Toboe: Repeating: Could it look any worse?

 

The Hyuuga blanched. He'd really rather not answer that, if it was all the same to Lee. "What do you mean?" he asked, stupidly.

The taijutsu-nin frowned deeper, crossing his arms over his chest. "Do you think it looks good enough that Sakura will want to go out with me? Do I look good enough for her?"

 

Raven: Who cares about her?! SHE'S A BRAINLESS, RETARDED FANGIRL!!! (No offence...)

 

Does he look good enough for her? And suddenly, Neji was very, irrationally angry at a certain rose-haired shinobi who was so very much too good for his rival. "Do you look good enough for someone whose too stupid or too arrogant to date someone who doesn't fit a perfect physical description? I don't know; I try and avoid that kind of person."

 

Raven: Thank you.

 

Lee looked crestfallen and Neji capped his unusual outburst at that. "So you don't think we should have done this at all?" the green beast asked.

Neji shrugged philosophically. "I had fun." He had gotten to rip out his teammate's eyebrows, after all. Then, thinking as he'd had fun and Lee'd just ruined fifteen years of proud imitation and he owed him at least a straight answer, "But, generally... it is best to stay with what fate has given you."

 

Gaz: What kind of a straight answer was that?

 

Tenten: Neji's kind.

 

Toboe: What do you mean?

 

Gaz: He said “It's best to stay with what fate has given you.” He didn't look like Gai naturally. So, is Neji saying that he looks better as a normal person or (god forbid) that he should stay a Gai-clone?

 

Toboe: ...My head hurts...

 

If possible, Lee looked even more crestfallen and nodded. Neji wondered if he should make a remark to the effect of this date being the first, and possibly only time, that Hyuuga Neji and Rock Lee had, have, or will ever agree on anything, then looked at the expression on his teammate's face and decided against it.

Rock Lee sighed and glanced back at his reflection, then over to Neji's, then back, hesitantly, to his. He did look a little more like Neji, the beautiful Neji, who'd already gone out with more girls than Lee had ever talked to- but he didn't want to look like Neji, he wanted to look like himself, who looked like Gai-sensei, who looked like a case into itself. But back to Neji. He was attractive; damn, Sakura had once said, in a fangirl undertone, that he was hot and only one pace behind Sasuke, but he wasn't stuck up, at least not the way most people like Ino and Sakura and Sasuke were, just a little proud, and sometimes quiet. And he'd done a lot for Lee today, even if Gai had told him to and even if it was just short of a command. He heard himself talking before he'd even thought out what he wanted to say. "Okay, let's restate. Does it look good enough... that... you would go out with me?"

 

Girls: Uhh...

 

Neji turned to stare at him and he looked away, blushing painfully, then blushing more because he was blushing, and he was Rock Lee and this was Hyuuga Neji and his eternal rival and dammit, shinobi don't blush!

 

Girls: AWWWWW!

 

Ed: HYPOCRITES!!!

 

Girls: Better Neji than us!

 

The moment of uncomfortable silence stretched past the point where any other moment, say, of happiness, or surprise, would have snapped, then, slowly, casting resentful glances over its shoulder, it faded away.

Then the Hyuuga rolled his eyes and glared at the reflection of the two rivals in the mirror. "Come off it. You're Rock Lee, and no tweezers will ever be enough to repair that."

 

Girls: (Glare at Neji)

 

Toboe: Your right, Ed. They are hypocrites.

 

Raven: I'm a big sister. It comes as part of the package.

 

Lee felt... disappointed? But why should he feel disappointed? Not only had that question been completely, one-hundred percent not serious- honestly, he'd been (Beep) with Neji, and the damned Hyuuga was stupid to think otherwise, he really was- but he had been expecting the sarcastic answer.

He hadn't been expecting his rival to roughly cup his jawline and lean in to press their mouths together. He should have, but cut him some slack; he still thought he was in the manga and hadn't figured out he was in fact in a fanfic.

 

Tenten: I wish I was still in the Manga...

 

"Come to think of it," the Hyuuga purred, "I rather like Rock Lee."

 

All: SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, SMUT!!!

 

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"Gai-sensei is going to cry," Lee pointed out quietly, still playing absently with the spiked mess his eternal rival had made out of his perfect hair.

"About what part?" Neji sounded distant but satisfied. Lee hated to admit it, but the Hyuuga had a point- would Gai-sensei be more upset that he looked like a conventional teenager, that his eyebrows were gone, that he was gay, or that his rival had just deflowered them, and worst of all, before they were married, which made him feel simultaneously dirty and strangely excited. Or... would he actually cry from happiness, because his students had found more than simply lukewarm compatibility?

 

Raven: ...Wow... CAN'T BELIEVE WE MISSED THAT!!!

 

Either way, their teacher was going to be spilling tears, and there was probably going to be some name-yelling, and not in the same way that Neji's name had been more-or-less torn from his mouth a half-hour before.

 

Tenten: O.O (Passes out)

 

Ichiraku's ramen loomed over them, the place where Lee was supposed to meet Sakura before his plans changed. It had been Neji's idea to meet her anyway.

"Isn't this a little petty?" Genjutsu had lengthened Lee's face a little and given it slightly more shape, finishing the makeover in Neji's opinion. The Hyuuga looked over at him and tweaked the illusion a little more so the jaw movements would synchronize better with his speaking. "I don't want to hurt Sakura."

 

Ed: Kill her!

 

Toboe: Burn her!

 

Gaz: Gut her like a fish!!

 

Raven: ...What Gaz said!

 

They'd been over this already, of course, and as all ideas of 'revenge' washed completely over Lee's head as though he still had a bowl cut for them to slide over, instead of the spikes that really should have caught them, Neji had dismissed it as a little fun and pretty much dragged his teammate down here. He could tell Lee still didn't believe him, but perhaps he was still in a little shock from earlier. He hadn't even protested once during the fact that they were fornicating.

 

Toboe and Gaz: They were what?

 

Raven, Ed and Tenten: Uhh... (Shift nervously)

 

"There she is." Sakura was sitting at the bar, obviously with reinforcements on either side in case Lee decided this was anything more than a 'friend date,' with Ino at her left and Tenten at her right.

 

Tenten: HIIII MEEE!!

 

Raven: ...Okay, hand over the pixie sticks.

 

"Sakura-chan!" His heart still fluttered when she turned to look at him, though not nearly as much, and he was faced with the earth-shattering realization that his love was rapidly diminishing.

 

All: YAY!!!!

It disappeared with the spit-take. But then, that was somewhat expected.

 

All: Even better!

 

"Oh my god," Ino cried out spectacularly. "Sakura, hon, you're choking."

 

All: Die, Die, Die!

 

Sakura paused in her hacking coughing long enough to shoot her best friend a 'no (Beep)' glare, then pounded her chest with a fist in time to Tenten's fist against her back and slowly sat up. "Lee!" she sputtered, her eyes flickering over to Neji briefly, then back to Lee. With the genjutsu, the only thing wrong with his face was the same of his eyes, but it still looked like Lee. And he was still hot. "What... what happened?"

Lee smiled proudly. "Neji happened. Make-over."

 

All: Yay!

 

Dib: Okay, that's enough.

 

Raven: (Looking put-out) Okay.

 

Her mouth formed a little 'o' and she nodded slightly in acknowledgment.

 

All: Haha!

 

Dib: HEY!

 

Raven: We couldn't resist.

 

"Anyway," the taijutsu-nin continued, looking a little away from Sakura's face, "I just wanted to come and cancel our friend date, Sakura-chan. I have... other plans."

"You... what now?"

 

Raven: (Evil smile. Hair curves into devil's horns)

 

Ed: IT'S THE GRINCH!

 

Neji took his cue as if reading it off a giant card in the background, grabbed a handful of his teammate's hair, and kissed him roughly.

 

(As Cheerleaders again).

 

Tenten: F!

 

Gaz: L!

 

Ed: U!

 

Toboe: F!

 

Random Announcer Voice: F!

 

Raven: What's that spell?

 

All: FLUFF!

 

They left Sakura still scrambling for words.

"That was mean," Lee commented as they walked towards Gai-sensei's house, where after telling him how the make-over had gone Neji intended to leave Lee to get in his free-time afternoon training. The Hyuuga smirked in response. Lee rolled his eyes, then, after a second of silence, continued. "I think I'm going to grow my eyebrows out again."

 

All: NOOOOOO!!!!!!

 

"Good for you," Neji intoned.

 

Tenten: Stop him Neji!

 

Lee looked at him. "You don't like them better like this?"

The Hyuuga shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me." He'd had the fun of ripping them out and probably would again, but who was he to tell Lee to change what he was born with?

Rock Lee shrugged. "Then I want my hair back to normal, too."

Another shrug in response was his only reply.

"I might leave the contacts in, though."

They made his eyes green, of course he would like them. "Figures."

"You know, if we're boyfriends-" Neji winced away from the term but didn't, for the record, protest to it- "you could take a more proactive stance to all of this."

 

All: AWWWW!!!

 

"And if I'm going to be spending more time with you than normal, you could talk less. You're really very irritating."

"You stuck-up..." Lee's aversion to cursing stopped the insult but his hands still fisted at his sides.

For a third time during that discussion, Neji shrugged. "At least I'm an actual, skilled shinobi."

"You think ninjutsu makes you 'skilled'? I could kick your's with one hand tied behind my back!"

Neji snorted. Lee kicked him in the shin.

End.

 

(Outside ta theater)

 

Raven: I feel all warm and fluffy now... ENOUGH WITH THE WARM-FLUFFY-NESS!

 

Tenten: Hmm... you know, that wasn't so bad...

 

Raven: Are you kidding? I LOVED IT! Turned me from a NejiLee hater to a semi-NejiLee-lover!

 

Dib: (Evil Laugh) I'm gonna find you a LeeTen one that with make you gorge out your eyes and jump off a cliff.

 

Gaz: Not right now your not. It's dinner time.

 

Dib: 1) We've been up here for three months now. IF DAD WAS GONNA MISS US, HE'D MISS US BY NOW!!! And 2) HOW'D YOU GET INTO THE COMPUTER LAB!?!? I'M THE ONLY WHO KNOWS WHERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Gaz: I've got connections.

 

Toboe: ...Tsume's gotta notice I'm gone now. I'll be prayin' for ya, Rae-chan.

 

Ed: (Walks in) I fixed the transporter!

 

Raven: How?

 

Ed: (Sheepishly) I hit it with a frying pan...

 

Raven: O.O WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!?!?!?!?!

 

All (except Raven): (Disappear)

 

(Two weeks later)

 

All: (Appear)

 

Tenten: Wha...?

 

Raven: (Looks up from book) Looks like the transporter broke again. (Throws frying pan) Knock yourself out.

 

Ed: (Grabs frying pan. Runs off to transporter)

 

Dib: (Runs of to Computer Lab)

 

Gaz: Here we go again...

 

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End of my first MST. Review Please!

 

~~~"Sakura, hon, you're choking."- Ino~~~