Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Weapon Encounters of the Third Kind ❯ Milk ( Chapter 4 )

Toboe LoneWolf: A bit settled in Tenten surprising her teammates with anvils and flashlights? Never fear, for one thing's for sure: this fic strives to do the weird and unexpected. The only constant shall be Tenten and a weapon. XD

 

Disclaimer: Toboe Lonewolf does not own Naruto, or Kishimoto, or an anvil. Toboe does own a flashlight, although you can be sure that Toboe has never ever used a flashlight so diabolically as Tenten did last chapter. Absolutely not. XP

 

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Weapon: Milk
AKA: Don't…Got Milk?

Milk:
Highly nutritious, versatile food, enjoyed in its natural form and in a wide range of food products, which include cream, butter, yogurt, cheese, and ice cream

 

Once in a while, Tsunade would create a team specifically for a certain mission, instead of sending already established teams. Sometimes it was because they were the only ones available, sometimes it was because they had special talents suited for the mission, and sometimes they were…uniquely suited due to physical characteristics.

 

This particular mission was the third kind.

 

"I really don't get why I'm here."

 

Ino put her hands on her hips. "No way, you've got the body, and there's this unique charm to you…ya know, that whole innocent-half-clumsy-possibly-dangerous-sharp-pointy-object image. Some guys totally dig that kind of stuff."

 

Tenten blinked. Several times.

 

She half-thought Hinata would've been a better idea, except that Hinata had blanched white right from the start and Tsunade had to make a readjustment.

 

Their mission? Question one man, name of Ishida Kanaye, on his political ties. He happened to be a popular party man, which was why he had so much political influence, although all of it was behind the scenes. He also happened to be a very cautious man, always making sure that there were bodyguards present, that he didn't offend anyone, that he never went tipsy from alcohol and thus possibly say something he shouldn't, and that he couldn't be poisoned or drugged.

 

…Yes, "couldn't." Not "wouldn't."

 

In that aspect, he was more of a paranoid man. He had so many charms and antidotes and built up resistance that he was practically immune to every common poison known to man, and even a great deal of shinobi-used drugs as well. Only the incredibly rare, incredibly difficult poisons were possibilities.

 

"This guy is so paranoid," Sakura said as she flipped through the medical records they'd dug up on the man. "I mean, I suppose he has the right to; he's gotten treatment for so many poisoning attempts that it's insane, but seriously…what kind of man is "immune" to ingested cyanide? Is that even possible?"

 

Ino shrugged. "You're the med expert."

 

"I suppose it's technically possible, but you have to carry a kit with you everywhere…"

 

Tenten reached over and grabbed the papers. "So what are we going to do then? Waltz right in to a party, get Ino to seduce him to some secluded corner and Sakura can bash him over the head?"

 

Sakura slumped and propped her head on her hands, her elbows thunking on the wooden table. "Looks like it. I suppose you can interrogate him, Tenten."

 

"Well then, that's a perfect plan." Ino flipped her ponytail, snapping into a pose. "Obviously."

 

Sakura groaned and let her face fall onto the table.

 

"Hey, watch it, forehead girl. Just because you have a big one doesn't mean you have to bash it for real."

 

Ensue best-kind-of-friend-girl-fighting number five thousand and twenty two. Tenten thought.

 

Well, maybe they had to relieve a bit of the tension. Even if Ino pretended that the seduce-and-bash strategy would work, they all knew that was far too dangerous for them to use. Kanaye was far, far, too cautious when dealing with ladies; he stayed strictly with paid ones and would definitely not fall for a girl he met at a party. That strategy would take weeks or months to build up supposed trust, and the girls didn't have time for that. They needed some way of luring the man out and getting him willing to answer questions, without injuring him so that his answers would be coherent and not concussion-filtered…

 

Sticking her tongue out a bit as she browsed through the papers, she came across an interesting tidbit of information. She picked up a pencil.

 

Over the din of fighting, Tenten said, "Hey, Sakura…you're good with genjutsu, right?"

 

The eye-glare fest broke off as Sakura turned. "Yes, why?"

 

"I've got a better plan, and one that's potentially less dangerous and doesn't require us to wait for the guy to wake up for questioning after we've bashed him over the head. Here, this is what I've got…"

 

x x x x x

 

Tenten had to give major points to Ino. Her obsession for makeup had its payoffs; their team was totally transformed into overly-painted ladies that Tenten could barely recognize her teammates. Being suspected of kunoichi? How?

 

Of course, Tenten managed to weave in thirty senbon in strategic places, strap on kunai shoulder-sheathes, and hide a tanto in her socks. And she carried a tesson.

 

Never even consider Tenten without a weapon.

 

Ino had managed to sidle up to Kanaye, already putting her plays on him. Tenten caught the tail-end of the sentence as she walked up to them, carrying a tray of drinks.

 

"…Really, Kanaye, I must insist! Oh! Would you like to have a drink?" Ino pointed an elegant finger at the pair of drinks Tenten brought. With a slight giggle she picked one up, and Kanaye followed, smiling (in Tenten's opinion) disgustingly at Ino. Ino looked at the tiny cup of sake.

 

"Ah, a shame this is only Nigorizake sake, but perhaps the better ones shall come later, hmmm?" She sipped it. "Though it is sweet."

 

Tenten bowed, and drew away, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Sakura making the almost invisible seals in her corner, beginning her genjutsu to mask the taste and sight of the sake Kanaye drank. Even though the jutsu would have to take effect over the course of the party, it would be very little strain on Sakura, since the…"sake"…Tenten served was similar in color and taste.

 

They came and went; Kanaye continuing to drink, Tenten continuing to mix, and Sakura continuing to mask their deception. The effects would be seen thirty minutes to two hours.

 

The beauty of their plan was the incredibly low risk. Any part the three of them played could be picked up by another, and it was entirely specific to only Kanaye - no one else in the party would fall for the kunoichi's trick.

 

As time passed, poor Kanaye became more and more visibly ill, and he drank even more to perhaps ward it off, and well…that only made it worse.

 

He professed retirement three hours later, and they cornered him as he cried in the tiny bathroom, and denied him relief.

 

As he curled up in abdominal pain and cramps, his head reeling in nausea, bent over as the three kunoichi interrogated him, the only detriment was the smell.

 

Well. They went on the other side when that came along anyway.

 

x x x x x

 

Tsunade had a hand over her mouth, and Sakura was certain there was a smile behind it. The three kunoichi were standing in front of the Godaime, finishing giving their verbal report.

 

"I see." Tsunade picked up the papers with Kanaye's confession. "How did you come up with such a plan?"

 

Tenten grinned, her eyes sparkling with the same sort of prankster mischievousness that Tsuande remembered from her younger sannin days.

 

"I read that he's lactose-intolerant. Very, very, lactose-intolerant."