Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ What They Think ❯ What They Think ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: I've decided to do a fanfiction about what the Naruto characters think of fanfiction. Hope it makes everyone laugh.

 

IMPORTANT NOTE: This was all intended to be good, clean fun so please do not take it to heart if one of your favorite pairings get turned down or insulted in some way. I'm even dissing my own favorite pairings in here.

 

With that being said, please enjoy!

 

 

 

>>

 

What They Think

 

By: Hinoto Nobukaze

 

>>

 

 

Everyone waited for something, wondering to themselves what exactly they were waiting for. Each of them had an exclusive invitation. Kakashi sat down, Sakura slightly beside of him. Neji sat on the ground, glaring at the other people in the room. Naruto, Rock Lee, Shikamaru, Ino and Kiba were exchanging puzzled glances while Asuma, Kurenai, Iruka, Anko and a host of others simply waited.

 

Finally the doors opened and the Hokage stepped through.

 

“Hey! What are we here for?” Naruto asked. “We don't have any missions.” He looked around to find that everyone was agreeing.

 

“Oh no, they are not requiring you today. Your presence is required by the authors of fanfiction.”

 

“Fanfiction?” Sakura asked.

 

“I suppose it wasn't explained to you.” There was a room full of shaking heads as the old man sighed. “Alright, first off there are several different muses that strike people to write `fanfiction'. There is the muse of comedy, the muse of epics and the muse of erot…er love stories.”

 

The Hokage looked at Kakashi and smiled. “You are very popular. So are you, Sakura and if what they say is true…Oh! I still have to explain don't I? Fanfiction are stories about all of you composed by people other then Masashi Kishimoto. Well…I guess it would be best if you see the evidence for yourselves.” He pointed to a table stacked full of papers. “Take a moment, read and enjoy.”

 

Each person grabbed a portion off one of the stacks and began to read through the content. Naruto was the first to react. At first it was a growl, but it continued to grow in strength. Having enough of reading the material, he threw them across the room and yelled. “I DO NOT GO INTO HEAT!”

 

Sasuke smirked. “Are you sure, Naruto? It could be from Kyuubi.”

 

“Then why do you seem to like it from your brother? Huh? And every time you go out with either Sakura or Ino?” Naruto retorted, grinning as Sasuke made an annoyed face.

 

The stoic ninja grabbed the pages from Naruto's hands and skimmed through them, muttering. “Don't research…no clue…I am not incestuous…” He continued on until laughter came from the other side of the room.

 

Ino covered her mouth but was unable to contain herself, Temari turned, a puzzled look on her face. “What?”

 

Ino pointed at the story she was reading through.

 

“Shikamaru's what was covered in whipped cream?”

 

Shikamaru snatched the paper from the girls and read a bit further. “I wouldn't be laughing too hard, Ino. You're hand is also covered in whipped cream.”

 

“WHAT!?” She screeched, snatching the pages back.

 

“1 no wait, 5.” Rock Lee counted.

 

“Yo, Itachi.” The Akastuki member turned his head at Kakashi's voice. “Here's a story about you and I kissing.”

 

“Let me see that.” Itachi quickly snatched the papers from him and skimmed through them, then looked up to see Kakashi staring at him. “I would kill you. Kisame, find all stories of this content and compose a list of authors.”

 

“Yes, Itachi.”

 

Kakashi looked through more stories concerning the two. “That's, just wrong…”

 

A puzzled Sakura picked up the papers off the floor and skimmed through them. “Well, there is an old saying…”

 

“Be silent.” Itachi warned. “Besides, if these pages I have are to be correct, you prefer Ino's company.”

 

“WHAT!?!” Both girl's yelled, yanking the papers from him.

 

“Or maybe you prefer Kakashi. I see several of those stories.” His eyes skimmed through a few more pages. “Hmmm, we seem to be a popular couple as well. Some seem to favor you with Neji or Rock Lee.”

 

Naruto growled. Sakura shuddered. Kakashi blushed. Rock Lee grinned and put his hand on Itachi's shoulder. “Itachi, if you're finished with the ones where Sakura and I go out, can I read them?”

 

“No.” Came the joint reply of Naruto and Sakura.

 

“Here are more stories.” The Hokage handed Kakashi some stories.

 

“I don't do children and I don't do males.” Kakashi replied.

 

“I want to kill Kakashi not mate with him.” Came Itachi's reply from across the room.

 

“Who is this person and why am I with them?” Naruto asked.

 

Everyone looked up from their papers occasionally, confused.

 

“ 7 no 10.”

 

After a few minutes the Hokage walked up to Naruto. “Hmmm, do you ever find yourself stuck in the Sexy no Jutsu?”

 

“What?”

 

“You're female in all of these stories.”

 

He turned to Kakashi, “Have you ever used the Sharingan Eye to copy the Sexy no Jutsu?”

 

“No.” The jounin looked annoyed.

 

“How come I always have a constant hard on in these fanfics?” Kakashi asked. “What? Does it last 100 years or something? It never goes down.”

 

“I want one.” Jiraiya snorted and grinned.

 

Kakashi turned his head to meet Jiraiya's eyes. “Are you sure? I'd think real hard on it.” Every male in the room thought about it for a moment and loud noise sounded throughout the room.

 

Gaara silently walked up to the Hokage.

 

“Yes, Gaara?”

 

He frowned, but continued. “What is this A/U I see on some stories?”

 

“A/U means alternate universe.” He thought about it for a moment and continued. “It would be stories where something is different. Say, there's no such thing as ninja or one of my favorites is the one where Iruka is a slave.” He searched through a stack of pages. “Here it is.” He handed it to Iruka.

 

The muttering began again.

 

“What's with the dolphin jokes?” Iruka asked.

 

“Asuma?” Hinata popped up.

 

“Yes, Hinata.”

 

“Why do you have an erect member and why would someone seduce you?”

 

“Hinata, why are you asking me these questions?” He asked the Hyuuga girl. Holding the papers, she opened her mouth to explain.

 

“Never mind, Hinata.” He took the pages from her and looked into the room. ”Does anyone have anything appropriate for this young lady?”

 

Anko smiled. “Here I was reading this high school fanfic.” She handed the pages to Hinata.

 

“13, nope 16.”

 

“Rock Lee, what in the hell are you counting?” Sakura finally asked.

 

Rock Lee flipped through the pages. “Children.”

 

“Whose?”

 

“Yours and Kakashi's and Mine and yours. The count is now 27 for you and 8 for you and I. Seems I'm too busy getting knocked out then knocking anyone up.”

 

Kakashi fainted. Sakura growled and Rock Lee looked pleased with the announcement.

 

In one corner, three ninja looked through stories. “Sakura bashing.” “Sakura bashing” “Oh, here's a good one. Pink haired nuisance.” “I've got one, killed by a rouge ninja.” Finally, as a group, they walked over to Sakura. One with short hair told her. “Hun, they hate yo ass. If I was you, I'd lay low for a while.”

 

Naruto began growl again. “Now what?” Temari asked.

 

“Did someone mention Gaara?”

 

“Yes, the Hokage did, why?”

 

“Because he can't come anywhere near Sakura or I'll kill him.”

 

Temari sighed to herself as the other ninja read through their fanfics, leaving the room in complete disarray.

 

 

THE END

 

 

A/N: Blah, just something I threw together. Not beta read but I hope you find it funny. Please R&R!