Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ When Idiots Fall In Love ❯ 01 Surprise, Surprise Kiba-kun ( Chapter 1 )

Title: When Idiots Fall in Love

Pairing: KibaNaru

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Pertinent information: Sasuke never left, Naruto went to go train with Jaraiya and returned…um…and in this fic Naruto merged with the Kyuubi and is a fox demon…I think that’s it for now……

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Part: 1of 4

01 Surprise, Surprise Kiba-kun

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It was a truly beautiful day in Konoha.

The sky was blue and clear.

For the first time in a long time, Orochimaru wasn’t planning an invasion. He was too busy writing a tell-all autobiography, one that revealed all the dirty and illegal secrets of his former teammates and was sure to bring him tons of cash. Why? Because someone as evil and ‘special’ as him just needed to spread the greatness. Not to mention that his favorite shade of eyeshadow was getting pretty expensive, but that was totally unrelated to the fact that he was currently broke. Kabuto was proofreading said autobiography because Orochimaru believed that he was too good for spellcheck.

Jiraiya was busy writing a few chapters of the newest edition of Icha Icha Paradise, much to the joy of a certain chronically tardy jounin. So for the first time in a long time, the women in Konoha could bath knowing that there was no middle aged pervert looking at them with the same intensity a starving man gives a ten course meal.

Tsunade was in her office, doing her obligatory paperwork under the watch of field marshal Shizune, so therefore all of the bars in Konoha could breathe easily, knowing that their Hokage would destroy their property in a drunken episode; again.

And last anyone heard Itachi and his long time partner, Kisame, were busy in Earth country looking for Itachi’s favorite shade of nail polish, Sharingan Rouge, which was only sold in two stores in Earth country. Why travel so far for nail polish, you may ask? Because Itachi wants it and Kisame learned a very long time ago never to come between an Uchiha and his nail polish.

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S o everything was just peachy in Konoha.

Well except for the Inuzuka household or, to be more specific, a specific inhabit within said household.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo < p>Kiba lay in his bed, with a perturbing thought rocketing through his mind:

He was in love with Naruto.

He was in love with the village idiot Naruto.

He was in love with the same Naruto that once snuck into his house while he slept and put his hand in a bowl of warm water.

He was in love with the same Naruto that farted in his face during their match at the first Chuunin Exams.

‘What the hell is wrong with me,’ Kiba screamed in his head. Kiba had learned recently to do that. It was a lot better than having his parents or his sister come into room after hearing him scream deeply probing introspective questions…again.

Kiba could still remember Kuromaru snickering at him as he wandered by when Kiba first began his wailing. By now all of the ninken probably knew.

Bastards…

‘Why are you fighting it?’ Akamaru barked, ‘Even if he isn’t human, he is the best suited mate for you that I have ever met. Think about it, do you honestly think some normal human will satisfy your needs and wants? Also, breeding isn‘t a problem because male demons can reproduce.’

Kiba buried his head under a pillow.

Akamaru thought that he could hear a faint, ‘Shut up.’

The huge dog snorted, ‘You’re acting like a silly pup. Just go, claim him and be done with it.’

Kiba threw the pillow that formerly buried his head at the dog and growled, “You can’t make me!”

Akamaru easily dodged the pillow and just looked at Kiba as though he were an idiot.

Which he pretty much was right now.

‘Well listen up, Kiba, me and the rest of the pack have been talking..’

Kiba at this point in time looked at his partner with undisguised horror. Really, who wanted to think that a large pack of super-intelligent ninken was gossiping about you?

“What do you mean by ‘the rest of the pack?’”

Akamaru blinked, ‘I mean what I said. Kuromaru and the rest have been talking about how much of an idiot you are being by denying your mate. That sort of behavior is disgraceful and unbecoming of an Inuzaka.’

Kiba just groaned in frustration, ‘Damn it,’ he thought, ‘the entire clan must know by now then.’

Akamaru grinned, well as much as a dog could grin anyways, glad that he had made his point with Kiba.

‘Look, why don’t you just go on a few missions with him and get to know him at the very least,’ Akamaru said and then tried something, ‘If you don’t then he’ll be snatched up by someone else…’ Akamaru noticed a tic at this and grinned. It was time to bring out the big guns, ‘Someone like the Hyuuga boy or maybe even the Uchiha.’

“You seem to be awfully damn sure that he’s my mate,” Kiba growled. For some reason, the thought of one of those pretty boy perverts going near Naruto made him feel…possessive?

Kiba shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, ‘What the hell? …Naruto’s just a friend…a close friend….a cute close friend…really cute now that I think about it…,’ Kiba thought of Naruto pouting at him and blushed. He could see Naruto glaring at him, giving him an adorable little pout which made him look like he needed someone to hug him. Really the boy was too small and frail looking for his own good. It was at this point that Kiba’s thoughts decided to turn perverted.

Kiba could see, in his mind, Naruto’s slim figure and wondered what he looked like without so much clothes, ‘Maybe I should ask him to go to the onsen with me, that way I can really get a good look at him….,’ Kiba stopped thinking and mentally bitchslapped himself, ‘NO KIBA BAD THOUGHTS!’

‘If you listened to your instincts more then you would know this as well. Honestly,’ the dog clucked, giving the impression of being an old bitty, ‘even if you didn’t have any instincts you should go claim him. He is rather attractive uke material…,’ Akamaru finished with a rich leer…or as much of a leer as a dog can pull off.

Kiba just looked at Akamaru, wide eyed and blinking, “What instinct? I’m human,” all the while thinking, ‘When did Akamaru become a pervert?’

‘Not entirely. The Inuzaka clan has always had a very large of inu pool of blood going through it. Since your parents and their parents and so forth are distant relations I would wager that you are possibly half Inu-youkai, if not a bit more…,’ Akamaru trailed off noticing the look of shock on Kiba’s face, ‘Kiba didn’t you ever wonder what all the demon history your family taught you was about?’

Kiba shook his head, shocked beyond belief.

A sigh could be heard from the dog.

‘Well…you may as well talk to your parents or sister, seeing as how you didn’t pay attention to the lessons. Just listen this time, okay?’

Kiba numbly nodded and made his way out of the room to find his parents, his sister would just call him an idiot and bash his head into the wall.

Akamaru laughed at Kiba’s zombified face.

‘That actually went much better than I thought,’ and with that Akamaru went to go find Kuromaru. The alpha would most certainly help give Kiba a ‘push’ in the right direction.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo < p>Kiba sprinted from his room and started running around the house looking for either one of his parents and see if they could add to what Akamaru told him.

As he rounded another corner, still sprinting, he tripped over something furry and flew into a wall, knocking himself out cold.

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Kur omaru had been walking around the house minding his own business, when he felt something crash into him and then crash into the wall behind him.

He turned around and saw Kiba on the floor unconscious.

Kuromaru shook his head and muttered, “Pups these days…they need to watch where their going…and they need to stop hurrying for everything…,” Kuromaru then stopped and felt mildly horrified at the fact that he just sounded old.

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Akam aru walked around looking for Kiba, he just had to see Kiba’s face when all was explained to him. That would be one of those once in a lifetime events.

Akamaru was just a bit miffed that he didn’t have any opposable thumbs to operate a camera (1), which would have been a great photo to have. After all, there was no way of knowing when he would need some really good blackmail in the future.

He sniffed the air for a few seconds, and inwardly smirked, Kiba was near Kuromaru. It is going to be interesting to see how Kiba deals with the alpha.

With the thought, Akamaru hurried to, what was sure to be an interesting sight.

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Ak amaru was not disappointed.

Right before him lay his alpha, who looked like he was trying to convince himself again that he wasn’t old -again- , and Kiba, who judging from the bruise encompassing his face, who had yet to wake up from his collision with the wall.

‘Hello there, Kuromaru-san,’ Akamaru greeted.

The alpha turned to him, “Akamaru,” was all he said, looking pretty cool. He figured that even if he was old, if he was cool then that would outdo the fact that he was old. Inner Kuromaru pumped his paw in the air and screamed, ‘Hell Yeah!’

Akamaru inwardly sighed; it just figured that he had to deal with a crazy old geezer.

‘Could you please get Tsume-san or her mate?’ Akamaru asked.

Kuromaru looked at him a little confused; Akamaru rarely had anything to do with his human partner or her mate…

And then he looked to the still comatose Kiba, “This is concerning the pup?” he asked motioning his head to Kiba’s still prone form.

‘Yes. There are two problems.’

Kuromaru looked extremely interested. It wasn’t often that he got dirt on Kiba…well it wasn’t often that he got really interesting dirt on Kiba. That one time where Kiba got a toilet plunger stuck onto his head was interesting but boarded on being a bit on the pathetic side.

‘For one, he apparently skived a bit on the demon lessons and just found out about his Inu heritage.’

Kuromaru sighed, that sounded like something that Kiba would do.

‘And for the other, he is having issues with who his mate is.’

“The little fox boy?” Kuromaru asked.

Akamaru nodded.

“There is nothing wrong with him,” Kuromaru started, “Granted he may be a bit weird, even in comparison to other fox demons but other than that he’s a fine catch. He’s a nice boy. He’s a very good match for Kiba. He can keep him on his toes, challenge him, and urge him to get stronger. He’s also rather attractive and have you seen his hips? Those are perfect hips for a bearer, he should be able to bear many pups.”

‘I know that and you know that, hell the rest of the clan knows that! But he needs a push in the right direction.’

Kuromaru nodded in agreement and trotted off to find his partner.

Akamaru looked at his partner and sighed, ‘May as well put him in his room.’

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Kuromaru just finished explaining the situation to Tsume and she couldn’t help but sigh. She knew that she should have tied the boy to a log and explained everything that he needed to know about his family but no…according to her husband that would have been extreme.

“Damn it! I knew that I should have been more aggressive with the clan lessons and I know that the log would have been useful but no, that was too harsh…,” Tsume growled; ready to rip someone’s head off.

Perhaps it was time to introduce her dear hubby to the wonders of log learning, although the clan leader was not sure if she was going to just tie him to the log and leave him there or beat him over the head with the log…

Kuromaru inwardly smirked, already knowing what was going through his partner’s head.

Someone was going to be in the doghouse when he got home.

“Where is he right now,” Tsume asked.

“Akamaru dragged him back to his room and I am guessing that he is still unconscious,” Kuromaru said and after a few moments of thought, “He did hit the wall pretty hard.”

Tsume felt like bashing her head into a wall herself. She should have known that her knucklehead of a son wouldn’t have paid attention to anything education-related. Also here’s the hard part:

How do you tell you’re kid that he’s part demon?

This involved some real creativity.

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Kiba woke up in his room with a pounding headache and his face hurt. As he sat up on the bed, he noted that Akamaru was sitting on the floor next to the bed with an obnoxious ‘I-know-something-that-you-don’t’ expression that made him very nervous.

“What did you do,” Kiba asked, deciding to bite the bullet.

‘Nothing,’ Akamaru barked, looking even shiftier than before.

Before Kiba could say anything else, Kuromaru burst into the room and announced, “You’re mother would like to have a word with you in the living room.”

Kiba gulped nervously, wondering what this could be about.

‘Maybe it was about that time that I got drunk…but how would she have found out about the toilet plunger?’

“Well,” Kuromaru broke through his thoughts, getting a little impatient, “Get moving pup,” and trotted away.

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Kib a walked into the living room, more than a little apprehensive with a few thoughts floating around in his head. About him being part demon, his family being somewhat demonic…

Although now that he thought about it, it did make a lot of sense. Hana was scary and he often thought of her as a demon anyway. Also it didn’t seem too bad. Naruto was a fox demon and he had tons of kick ass powers. It was at this time that a little perverted voice in his head said, ‘he also has quite the delectable ass.’

Kiba sighed. First Akamaru, then his brain….what the hell was so interesting about Naruto?

His brain, seeing that Kiba was going to be an ass concerning fond emotions for the blonde, decided to use the one thing that all teenage boys responded to.

Perverted thoughts.

Kiba, being the in denial young man that he was, did everything in his power to stop such thoughts from taking over but alas, it was to no avail. It seemed as though the more he fought it, the more such thoughts and fantasies gained strength and soon a torrent of perverted scenarios involving him and Naruto, broke through Kiba’s defenses; making the boy pretty dazed and mop up one hell of a nosebleed.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo < p>As Kiba entered the living room he looked around nervously. He was now dealing with his mom, the person that Hana inherited her psychotic temper from. The woman who threatened to set his room on fire if he didn’t clean it and later did so.

After a few moments of silence, Kiba started getting scared.

Then suddenly…

BOOM!

Tons of little smoke bombs went off filling the living room with smoke, while it was somehow raining confetti.

When the smoke dissipated, Kiba’s mom appeared along with all the dogs.

“Surprise, Surprise Kiba-kun! Welcome to the wonderful, slightly demonic life of the Inuzaka dearest son of mine!”

All the dogs blinked at the declaration, looking at Tsume as though she were insane (which she was) while Kiba, in a remarkable display of understanding and acceptance fainted.

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A/N: I decided to fix up this chapter a bit. I reread it and thought that it could have used a little touch up.

1: let’s just pretend that for now Akamaru forgot that he could henge into Kiba and therefore have thumbs