Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Where is God? ❯ Like a Drug ( Chapter 2 )

“Where is God?”

By: Kaiya

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co.

 

“God sets us nothing but riddles.”

 

-Fyodor Dostoyevski

 

Chapter two

Like a Drug

 

Sasuke tossed around in his sleep; sweat running along the side of his face as he shifted under the sheets. The darkness danced with the moonlight outside his window, casting shadows over the walls and on his bed. The light latched onto his face as if it were his guardian angel keeping a close eye on him as he dreamt.

 

If you could call it a dream.

 

The room was dark, but eerily quiet after the loud bang. Sasuke had an inkling at what the noise was, but was determined to be proven wrong. He walked past the rocking chair in the living room and towards the hallway, where his parent's bedroom door lay. The hallway was thankfully dark, hiding the conflicting emotions on his face. A small light streamed from under the doorway, and he stared at it as he moved forward.

 

A sob was heard, along with the sound of something gushing. He gripped the doorknob, fear rising off of him in waves. The door creaked open as he turned the knob, his body stilling completely at the sight in front of him.

 

A small revolver lay on the floor; smoke still rising from the bullet's exit. His dad's body pressed down face first into the plush carpet now stained the color crimson. His mother's body trembling over his form with a simple kitchen knife clutched in her hands. She kept on stabbing him in the back, the sound becoming repulsive to the boy's ears.

 

He made a small gagging noise as he threw up in the doorway. His mother turned towards him, tears running down her face as she smiled at him. A small laugh fell from her lips as she stood up slowly, her dress trapped under her knees. She stumbled towards him, one of her hands outstretched for him.

 

Sasuke backed out of the room, his back hitting the hallway wall behind him.

 

“Don't worry, baby. It's just going to be us three now. So don't cry, shh. It's all right.” She cooed him in a baby voice as she laid her head against his chest. He could feel the knife's dull blade digging into the side of his ribs, but ignored it as she rubbed the side of his arm.

 

Hot tears were running down the sides of his cheeks as he shook against her. His mother's long black hair tickled him under his chin, sending chills down his spine as he watched the blood around his father's body race further away from his body. It was running in rivulets towards them, as if he would still get revenge in the afterlife.

 

The knife was digging into his side deeper now. He was sure that it had broken skin, but he couldn't find anything in his mind to register the pain.

 

A movement to his right caught his eye and he felt himself slink up the wall further, trying to get away. The scream of his mother-

 

Sasuke jolted awake, his breath hitching every few seconds as he sat up. His mind screamed at the nightmare, his body demanding movement. He felt frozen by fear at that night four weeks ago.

 

He shuddered in thought. It had only been a month? It felt like it had been a lifetime ago. His whole life changed within that one night. He had lost his father, his mother, and… his older brother. But it felt like his parents' spirits were still roaming the planet, like his brother's real body did. They wanted revenge. His mother for his father's betrayal, and his father's for the short-lived life he left behind. His brother… was gone. He was in a completely different world; the same one that his mother had gotten lost in.

 

Itachi was insane, completely over the top. There was no way to get him back, especially when no one knew where to find him to at least help him. Sasuke didn't want to know where he was.

 

Even though it had been his brother that had saved him.

 

XXXXX

 

Gym—the last class of the day. Naruto grinned at everyone around him, even though he felt like throwing up his lunch. He still hadn't gotten over the brutal discussion at the dinner table a few nights ago. His father had gone on and on about why the bill to let gays and lesbians adopt children was a monstrosity to society, and how disgusting it was that two men could actually be together. He hadn't said anything about two women, which made Naruto even angrier. His father was being biased, and it had made him frown during the whole conversation.

 

You couldn't even call it a conversation really. It was just his father talking, his mother nodding her head every few minutes, and Naruto staring blurrily down at his plate of untouched food.

 

His hands shook with anger at the memory, so he tried to block it out with the chatter going on around him. Of course, the one conversation he picked up on was about the moody new kid.

 

“I knew you were a freak when I saw you. And apparently, so is everyone in your family. My girlfriend went to your old school and told me that you left because of your fucked up family.” A tall boy sneered down at Sasuke.

 

Naruto watched. He knew that the boy was a homophobe, being on the football and wrestling team. He was smaller than most guys were for those kinds of teams, but he was fast and he knew it. The guy had openly admitted that he hated fags and anyone that was a freak. The moment he had seen Sasuke, he had thought that he was both.

 

The blonde thought that he was probably the type of guy that went home and dressed up in his mother's clothing and liked the feel of another man's body rubbing up against his own a little too much when he wrestled. Which is why he was acting like a homophobic jerk. He was scared. But that still didn't give him the right to bash everyone else.

 

Sasuke didn't seem fazed by this at all as he kept on walking past him.

 

“How your mom killed your dad `cause he was a cheating bastard, and then turned on you. Your brother stepped in, didn't he? Or was it you that chopped her up into little pieces and blamed it on your missing brother?”

 

Sasuke stopped at his words and glared at the floor. No one was supposed to know what happened. It was the whole reason why he moved downtown, away from his old school, his old life, and away from everything he knew and loved.

 

He bit back on his emotions as he balled his fists up. He turned around, ready to wipe the smirk off the jock's face, but didn't get his chance as a blonde stepped in front of him.

 

“Leave him alone, Donny.” Naruto said through gritted teeth.

 

“Oh look, it's the fag to the rescue. What'cha gonna do about it?”

 

Naruto closed his eyes as he ground his teeth harder. He was sick of pricks like him, and he had never gotten a chance to shut them up. He had always been raised not to fight unless for self defense, but that didn't mean that he had listened.

 

“Go fuck yourself,” he told him as he punched him in the gut. The blonde had surprising speed, and even more unforeseen force behind his blow. It had come from years of boxing that he still did today. The one thing he did for his father, to show that he wasn't a wimp. But he had learned to like it, because he could always get his frustrations out on a punching bag with every hit and kick.

 

He had winded the boy, his body bending forward in pain. His face turned red as he sucked in air. Naruto turned around and looked towards the Uchiha.

 

“Sorry to take away your punching bag, but he's been asking for that for a while now.”

 

Sasuke just stared at him.

 

“I could have handled it,” said Sasuke, his voice unusually quiet.

 

Naruto blinked at the fragile tone in his voice. Whatever Donny had said had gotten a rise out of him. Maybe it was true.

 

“You okay?” Naruto asked him as he stepped closer. He still kept his distance though, not wanting to scare the boy off. He was probably just as straight and homophobic as the asshole behind him.

 

Sasuke just nodded his head, not really paying attention to the boy who had been his `tour guide' on his first day of school. Naruto took a step closer and waved a hand in front of his face. The raven-haired boy blinked out of it and stared at the floor, his cheeks reddening slightly.

 

Naruto looked around the gym. They still had a few minutes before their teacher would actually show up and do her job.

 

“Hey, you wanna get out of here?” He asked Sasuke.

 

The other boy looked up at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Naruto didn't give him a chance to say anything as he grabbed his hand and ran off towards the locker room. He hurriedly changed his clothes, noticing that at least the other boy was following his example and doing the same.

 

He grabbed his book bag just as the Uchiha walked over to him with his stuff ready.

 

“So, how are we going to get out of here?”

 

Naruto smiled at him.

 

“Easy. The bathrooms are right beside us and they leave the windows open. It drops down close to the park.” He answered him as he peeked out of the room, eyes searching the hallway. He opened the door, after not seeing anyone, and walked into the bathroom a few feet away. Sasuke followed him.

 

As he watched the other boy's back, he thought to himself, why am I doing this?

 

But when an answer didn't pop up, he ignored the question and stepped up on one of the sinks to crawl out the window. He dropped down, and would have fallen on top of Naruto had the boy not moved away.

 

Naruto decided not to say anything about it and ran the length of the building and stopped at the corner. He peeked around the side and made his way behind the line of dense trees and bushes. Sasuke noted that he knew what he was doing, meaning he had probably done this before.

 

When they had gotten off of school grounds, and were fully in the park, Naruto turned to Sasuke.

 

“So, where do you wanna go?” He asked with a goofy grin plastered on his face. Doing something reckless always put him in a good mood. He didn't know if it was because he was doing something his parents would disapprove of or the rush it gave him to be caught any moment and they find out. He guessed it was both, since they were pretty much the same. Either way, it came up with him disappointing them and getting into trouble.

 

Sasuke looked at him questioningly. Where did he want to go? He didn't know many places that they could go to… besides his house. But he didn't know if his aunt was home yet.

 

“I don't know what's around here.” He admitted.

 

Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment. Well, to be honest, he didn't know any places around here either. Probably because there weren't any. Well, not ones that was in walking distance.

 

“Well, I guess we could go to my place. Dad's at work and I think Mom went to a church meeting. What's today, again?”

 

“Friday,” Sasuke answered as they crossed the street and walked up the hill on the overgrown sidewalk.

 

“Yep, she's not there either.”

 

He smiled to himself as he walked past the old fashioned houses that had been turned into apartments and thought to himself. He was glad that today was Friday. Not only because of the weekend coming up ahead, but also because of the festivities going on a little further in downtown tonight. He just hoped he would be able to go tonight.

 

“So, Sasuke, what do you like to do?”

 

Sasuke just glared at him. He didn't dislike the boy, otherwise he wouldn't have left with him. He really didn't know what it was though. He was drawn to Naruto. But he didn't know why. They weren't alike, at all. They were complete opposites. Whereas the blonde was the day out in the desert, sunny and fiery, he was the night, dark and frigid.

 

He had been confused by him at first, wondering why someone so bright, probably has everything going for him, and warm could want anything to do with him. Sasuke knew not to trust anyone, not again. He believed only in himself and no one else.

 

No one would always be there for him. No matter what they said or promised him.

 

And that wouldn't change.

 

And yet…

 

“Listen to music.” He found himself telling the boy. And it was true. From the time he got home from school to the time he went to bed, he always had something on. When he was in the shower or getting dressed for school, the computer or his stereo would always be belting out notes.

 

“Really? What kind?”

 

“Anything. I like classical, rock, jazz, and even some rap. I guess whatever's on the radio.”

 

“Same here. But I have to be sneaky about it. My parents don't like me listening to rock. They say its Satanical, which is complete bull. They actually tried to get me to sing in the youth choir at my church, and I did for a few years, but I quit last year. Still don't know how I managed to do that.”

 

Sasuke glanced over at the other boy as they came up to an apartment building that was clumped together with a few other buildings that looked exactly like it.

 

“Do you not like to sing?”

 

“No. I love it. I just hated singing hymns, because they meant nothing to me.” He opened the door for them and walked inside, the air conditioner hitting them face first. Naruto pressed the button for the elevator and turned towards Sasuke.

 

“It made me feel like I was lying to everyone there.” He said truthfully, the dinging of the elevator sounding after him. They got in and the doors closed after them, the blonde hitting the button for his floor.

 

“So you don't like church then?” The dark haired boy asked, finding himself curious. He didn't remember being genuinely interested this much in someone else's life in a while. Yeah, he had had friends back at his old school, but they had turned on him after what happened. They honestly thought that he had killed his family. A lot of people did. The only one in his family that believed him was his Aunt Clara, who he was happy to be living with now.

 

“No, I really don't. But I can't say that to my parents, they'd kill me.” He said remorsefully.

 

Sasuke nodded his head in understanding. He had never had to pretend to be a Christian, but he had had pressure put on him to be just as good as his brother.

 

As the elevator stopped and they went to his door, Naruto became more curious as to know why this guy was being so… talkative and open. He didn't seem like the type.

 

Naruto checked to make sure his mom wasn't home and went to his room when he saw that she wasn't.

 

“Make yourself at home.” He told Sasuke as he flipped on his CD player and threw his stuff over into the corner.

 

“Hope you like Zeromancer.”

 

Naruto flopped down on his bed and gazed up at his “friend”. He looked uncomfortable just standing there with his backpack on.

 

“You can sit down, you know.”

 

Sasuke shrugged out of his straps and put his bag down on the floor properly, and sat down at the computer. He was pondering over how to ask the other teen a certain question. He wasn't one to think these things over; he normally just said it bluntly. But he didn't want to offend him or make him mad… for some reason.

 

“Are you really gay?” He finally divulged, not one to deal patience.

 

Naruto sighed on the bed. Once again, he didn't care if he told people, but he honestly didn't know how the other boy in his room would take it. He had been staring at him a lot lately, and had even invited him into his apartment, in his room, with no one there. It didn't really look too good. And he really didn't want to frighten him off, not now.

 

“Yes,” he said after a while.

 

Before Sasuke could say anything he added, “But don't worry, I'm not gonna molest you.”

 

The other boy snorted.

 

“Like you would. You don't seem like the type of guy to do that.”

 

Naruto looked over at him and sat up, raising an eyebrow at him in question.

 

“Oh? So you know me so well? Then tell me, what type of guy am I?” He asked, a serious tone to his voice. He was just messing with him, but he was also curious to know where this was going.

 

Sasuke didn't look away from him as he answered.

 

“You act like your outgoing when with others, but if you got someone alone, you wouldn't know what to do. You'd probably blush, stutter, be clumsy, and make even more of an idiot out of yourself.”

 

The blonde narrowed his eyes at that. Oh… so that's what he thought, huh? Maybe he should show him what he was really like.

 

He stood up and walked over to the boy, stopping a few inches in front of him. He bent down and placed his mouth by Sasuke's ear and whispered, “I take back what I said then.”

 

Naruto's hands came up to rest on the arms of the chair, making sure the Uchiha couldn't escape. He knew he was probably pushing it, and that the other boy might run away and never talk to him again or even punch him, but he didn't want to think about that now. So, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and licked the shell of his ear.

 

A shiver ran down Sasuke's back, making Naruto grin to himself as he dropped his head down to his neck. His tongue flicked out against his skin and drew a small circle before his lips placed small kisses down his throat. The other boy gulped, his Adam's apple moving with it. Naruto nibbled under his jaw as he heard Sasuke take a shaky breath. He decided that he liked the sound of it and wanted to hear more, so he continued to tease Sasuke's neck.

 

Sasuke, on the other hand, didn't want to be teased. It had been so long since someone had touched him and he didn't feel like going through a bunch of girly crap just to blow off some steam. It was the whole reason he had given up on girls. No matter how much they said they loved him, they never wanted to take it too far. Most of them had even said not unless he asked them to marry him. And he sure as hell didn't want to go to the school slut and catch some kind of disease or become engaged to someone.

 

What were they? Stupid? Apparently. He was only eighteen, he didn't want to even think about marriage. However, they seemed to have nothing but that on their mind. Especially with him. Probably had to do with the fact that his family used to have money. He wouldn't be able to touch that money though until he was twenty-one… but he didn't care about that at the moment. He just wanted to get his frustrations out. And he wanted to now.

 

He grabbed the other boy by his hair and pulled him up, kissing him roughly on the lips. He stood up, driving Naruto back with his directness. They fell over on top of the made up bed, Sasuke forcing his tongue into the other boy's parted lips. He liked the groans coming out of the blonde, but liked the feel of his body pressed against his even more.

 

Naruto sucked in a mouth full of air as his lips separated from Sasuke's. He was taken aback by the change in direction that this was going in, but he didn't really care. God be damned, how could he not enjoy this? The feel of solid muscle shifting against his skin, hips grinding into his own, and a hard ache pressing against his own. He loved it. It was intoxicating… like a drug.

 

He just hoped his parents didn't walk in.

 

A hand wandered between their bodies and unzipped his pants, shoving its way down into his boxers. Naruto moaned into the side of Sasuke's neck as he was jerked off. A dark head of hair moved away so that black eyes met navy ones. The glare he was giving the blonde didn't go unheeded as he felt a hand wander down his body and palm him through his uniform pants.

 

“Stop teasing,” he hissed out. Naruto complied, and he closed his eyes as a hand softer than his on began to stroke him.

 

Both boys lay there panting as they touched each other, not caring what was going on around them. Or how a few questions and teasing led to jerking someone, who was almost a complete stranger, off. But that didn't matter at the moment as Sasuke quickened his pace, Naruto following his lead seconds after.

 

Sasuke bit down on his bottom lip as he buried his face into Naruto's neck. The boy's scent underneath him was enthralling, making him want to taste him. He sucked on his throat vigorously for a few minutes until he felt the blonde's body stiffen under his. With a stifled moan into his shoulder, Naruto came. Sasuke soon followed after, his sigh silenced by his mouth biting down on Naruto's collarbone.

 

They lay still for a few more minutes, Zeromancer still sounding in the background, before Sasuke retreated his hand and stood up. He asked where the bathroom was and went to go clean himself up as Naruto laid completely still.

 

He couldn't believe what had just happened between him and someone he had known for less than two weeks. Hell, he hadn't even really had a conversation with the guy until today. So, what did this mean? What were they now? He didn't know if he wanted to be in a relationship with anyone, especially since he still liked Neji.

 

It was too confusing to think about, he decided. So when Sasuke came back, he took his turn to go clean himself up. Taking as little time as possible so that he could get back and ask what had just happened. As he walked back from the bathroom a few minutes later, he read the time on the clock. At least if his parents came home now, then it would be late enough in the afternoon for them not to get suspicious of him skipping out on last period.

 

And getting a hand job from another boy.

 

But they wouldn't suspect that anyway. They still thought that he had a long distance girlfriend from last year at church camp. Oh… how he hated that place. He was so glad he didn't have to go back this summer.

 

When he got back to his room, he noticed the black haired teen spread out on his bed. Naruto suddenly felt nervous. How should he ask him? Should he beat around the bush? No, he hated it when people did that. But that was because he usually didn't get it and felt stupid afterwards. Best way was to just come out with it.

 

“Sasuke? What just happened?” He asked as he stood by the door, keeping a good distance between them.

 

“I thought that was obvious. We just jacked each other off.”

 

Naruto blushed. Man, this guy just said whatever he wanted to, didn't he? He sighed before rephrasing his question.

 

“I mean… what does this make us? I don't normally do this kind of thing with people I just met.”

 

“Us…” the boy on the bed whispered to himself. He knew he didn't want to get involved with the blonde, but he also wouldn't mind doing that again. So, what were they? After a few minutes of mulling it over in his head, he answered him.

 

“I guess we're friends… with benefits.” Said Sasuke truthfully.

 

Before the other boy could respond, the sound of a door opening echoed through the house.

 

“Naruto!” A voice called out.

 

XXXXX