Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ With arms wide open ❯ Coming undone ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Chapter VI- Coming undone
 
 
 
Who do you need, who do you love,
When you come undone. - Duran Duran
 
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"Perhaps I'm losing my hearing, but did you just say Orochimaru?"
 
Ignoring Kakashi's comment, Tsunade went on.
"It's a binding technique Orochimaru has been working on since he was thirteen.
It is usually in a form of a tag, attached to a weapon or any sharp object that can be inserted between the fourth and the fifth rib."
 
Suddenly Kakashi looked serious. He knew that whenever a mission had something to do with the Snake-man, it wouldn't be solved easily, if at all. Only now did the threat to Naruto's life really catch up to him and a shiver went down his spine.
As much as he wished to deny it, he couldn't refuse the possibility that Naruto may actually die. He watched Tsunade sit back on her chair and shuffle through papers and scrolls, mumbling something incoherent. Kakashi needed more information.
 
"Tsunade."
 
Seeing that the woman paid him no heed, he tried again, this time in his unusually serious tone.
 
"Tsunade - sama. What are you trying to say? That Sasuke was in touch with Orochimaru all this time? That he lied to you… to Naruto?!"
 
"It wouldn't be the first time now, would it?!"
 
Tsunade almost screamed that. She was obviously more worried about Naruto, unlike most of Konoha's citizens. Outside in the open they didn't say anything, but Tsunade knew that when at home, in the darkest of the rooms they were whispering their hatred for the blond man. They were blaming him then when Sasuke first betrayed Konoha. They were blaming him now for driving Sasuke away again. They were blaming him for their poor income, their lack of food and their own misfortunes.
They had no idea that it was Naruto who was responsible for the peace that reigned in Konoha for the past few years. They didn't realize that if it wasn't for him, Sasuke would have never come back.
 
It was Naruto's decision to keep them in the dark, to give all credit to the Jounins and the ANBU squad… and Tsunade herself. At first, Tsunade had planned to announce Naruto as a hero at the festival they were going to hold as a celebration of their victory in the war. 'They wouldn't believe you anyway' was Naruto's blunt response. 'They see me as the twelve year old idiot with a monster inside him. Let me live up to that title at least, if not the Hokage'.
 
"I… I just want to save Naruto." Or at least what is left of him - was stuck in her throat, unspoken.
 
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Naruto began to change after the fifth time he returned to Konoha empty handed. Most of those who occasionally saw him wander the streets quietly were whispering between themselves that if they had a choice, they wouldn't live with a monster in the same village. 'No wonder that Sasuke didn't follow him back here', they snarled with disgust.
With each passing day, Naruto ignored those whispers less and less. Tsunade and the other shinobis always told him he did his best and that next time he'll surely bring him back. But Naruto wanted to know what the normal people were thinking of his failures. He wanted to know what they were whispering behind his back. And when he came back to Konoha alone for the sixth time, he started to believe those whispers.
 
He questioned himself and the friendship he and Sasuke shared. He wasn't even sure if there was anything between them at all. 'Maybe I was imagining it all along', he thought at nights while staring at a photograph of team seven. After all, he and Sasuke always fought, trying to prove the other wrong or weak or just plain dumb. Before their 'friendship', they shared a rivalry.
By the time Naruto turned nineteen, the only thing that pushed him outside the gates of the village to find Sasuke was the thought that he was tired of being depressed. He wanted to be angry at someone, wanted to be able to punch someone and get punched in return without hearing 'don't touch me monster'. He wanted to hurt someone like Sasuke had hurt him.
He wanted to get his rival back.
 
A year later, on the day that Konoha was celebrating the victory over the Demon Fox for the twenty first time, Sasuke was seen standing at the gates of the village. Everyone was sure they were dreaming, and Naruto was no exception. But the boy decided to make sure he was seeing things.
After all he'd been through; there was still hope in his heart. And then he caught sight of the Uchiha's smug expression and the words Dobe being mouthed by those pale, pale lips. His heart leaping to his throat, he voiced his happiness while running to the boy.
 
"Sasuke!" Naruto called as he run full speed towards the raven haired boy, a wide smile gracing his features.
 
The usually silent boy was even more beautiful when standing at the gates of Konoha. Sasuke was right there, in front of him, waiting. His Sasuke.
 
"Sasuke!" This time the call was followed by a short laughter as the blond added, "Hey everyone! It's Sasuke!"
Throwing his arms around his friend's neck, Naruto pulled the stoic boy into a tight embrace and whispered to his ear, "Welcome home, Sasuke."
 
"Dobe" Was the boy response as he brought his arms around Naruto and pressed him hard against his body. "I'm back, idiot."
 
Burying his face in Sasuke's neck, the blond mumbled, "Promise. Promise me you'll stay."
 
"Hn." Replied the stoic boy, but for Naruto it was good enough. He knew that he couldn't ask for more than that after all that happened. They stood like that, holding each other silently at the gates of Konoha, until people started approaching them, welcoming who they hoped was now the sole Uchiha heir.
 
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[-Konoha hospital -]
 
 
"Naruto, you have visitors."
 
Sitting up, Naruto looked up at the nurse and shook his head. He didn't want to see anyone at the moment. Last night's dream brought bitter realization to his already confused mind, chasing the remaining hope away. He just wanted to sit and do absolutely nothing - something he's never done so far. He wanted to be the victim, to be weak and powerless. He wanted to be taken care of for a change.
He surely was in no mood for visitors, but apparently the nurse didn't really care. She stepped away from the door and let the pair come in.
 
"Sakura? Lee..?" Naruto looked from one to the other with disbelief. After the fight he picked up with Lee last week, he didn't expect to see him in the near future. As for Sakura, he was sure she'll be grieving over Sasuke's disappearance.
 
"What are you doing here?"
 
"Naruto… don't you think that's a rather stupid question?" Sakura sighed. When the boy didn't show signs of understanding, Sakura sighed again and added, "We were worried about you."
 
Scowling, Naruto looked down at his hands. "Oh, so NOW you're worried?"
 
Lee, who was silently watching the little exchange, stepped up, frowning. "What it that supposed to mean? Is that your way to address those who care about you?"
 
Lee's comment hit home. Naruto remembered himself saying that phrase countless times.
But that was long ago.
The blond closed his eyes to escape the disappointment he was sure he'll see on their faces.
 
"I'm sorry". He wasn't. But that felt like the right thing to say at the moment.
 
"You should be." Lee added and gave Naruto a suspicious look. "You're becoming more and more like that useless Uchiha."
 
"Lee!" Sakura couldn't believe her ears. She never heard the boy speak this way t anyone. maybe bringing Lee wasn't such a good idea.
 
The black haired youth kept on glaring at Naruto, not sparing Sakura a glance as he spoke.
 
"I'm sorry Sakura, but I despise ungrateful people the most."
 
Naruto opened his eyes, anger practically dripping from him. He grabbed the blanket that covered half of his body and twisted it to keep himself from launching at the boy standing in the doorway. After all, his body was still weak and he was sure he wouldn't manage to hit Lee even once in is condition.
 
Sakura noticed Naruto's silent anger and felt a bit guilty. This wasn't what she came here for.
 
"Stop it both of you. This is hardly the place or the time to solve whatever unsolved issues you share." With that said, she approached Naruto and sat next to him.
 
"How are you feeling, Naruto?" She was about to cover his hands with her palm but the boy flinched away from the touch. Disappointed and somewhat confused, she brought both of her hands to her lap.
 
"The nurse specifically told us not to get too close to you. Not to touch you." She then looked over at Lee who seemed as confused as her.
 
"What is wrong with you?"
 
Turning his head to the window, Naruto stared at the children playing outside. He could clearly see the swing he used to sit on when he was still a child. A lonely monster child.
 
"What isn't wrong with me, Sakura? I was born wrong, so I believe that too is a rather stupid question."
 
Lee, who was still standing in the doorway, snorted at that. "Self-pity was always your strongest point, right Naruto?"
 
"Lee, stop it." Sakura said and threw a glare in his direction.
 
"Why? It's the truth anyway. Someone has to open up his eyes." He then turned to look at Naruto. "At least Sasuke never wallowed in self-pity. He too lost his family and even if it was revenge that he lived for, he never once gave up. And just look at you!" he threw his hands to his sides to emphasize the point, "Look at yourself, Naruto. Where is your spirit? Where is the future Hokage we used to see in you? It all became nothing but a shadow. A shadow that will always haunt you and make you regret ever giving up."
 
By the time Lee was done, Naruto was shaking with anger and disbelief. He kept on staring out of the window, noticing that the old swing in the shades of the tree was now occupied by a blond girl with big blue eyes, dressed in a red dress. She wasn't swinging or laughing. But she wasn't crying either. Loneliness and betrayal can kill the fire one holds within, no matter the age, and Naruto knew that better than anyone else in Konoha.
 
"You know nothing about me, Lee." Naruto said through gritted teeth. "You know nothing about my dreams or my regrets. You will never understand the feeling in this heart because you" he then turned to Lee with a look of pure hatred "have no idea what being alone means. And you don't even begin to realize the pain betrayal can cause."
 
Turning back to the window, he added in a distant voice, "Try twenty one years of coming home to an empty apartment, beaten and bruised, knowing there is no one who will clean your wounds, no one to put a cold cloth on your forehead when you have a fever, no one to wait for your return from an A rank mission. No one but yourself, and eventually, you lose that too."
 
Lee stood there, unable to say anything. He would never understand it, now if only he could admit it to himself. Sakura took the sudden silence as a cue to speak.
 
"But Naruto, you and Sasuke-kun -"
 
"And you Sakura" Naruto cut her off, "why aren't you mourning Sasuke's disappearance?"
 
She was a bit hurt by his mocking tone, but chose to answer nevertheless. "Well, I thought that when you're well…" She stopped, not sure how to say it.
 
When Sakura was hesitating it was never a good sign. Realization suddenly hit the blond and he couldn't help but laugh out loud.
 
"You thought what? That when I'm well enough to run around the first thing I'll do is chase after that bloody Uchiha bastard? Well, guess what? It ain't going to happen."
 
Neither Lee nor Sakura expected that. "What are you saying…?" Lee whispered.
 
"Listening was never your strongest point, was it Lee? I said I won't do it. I have my reasons."
 
"So you're giving up on him too?"
 
"Yes dammit! Wouldn't you?! He obviously doesn't want to be saved and he made it quite clear by leaving me here as a handicap!"
 
Lee glared at him. "So that's what this is al about. Your pride?!"
 
"Lee…" Naruto warned, "Shut up. Just don't say another word since you obviously never been betrayed by someone you thought was your best friend. I had it all slapped in my face too many time to mention, I'm not going to spend my life crawling towards an oasis, for I now realize it wasn't there to begin with."
 
Tears welled up in Sakura's eyes. She could understand Naruto. Besides him only she knew what if truly felt like to be betrayed by Sasuke, what a bitter taste it leaves in your mouth and no matter how much you try to wash it away and gulp it down, it still surfaces at the wrong moments.
 
"I'm sorry, Naruto." The girl said and ran out of the room.
 
"Sakura!" Lee called. Moments later he took off after her, but not before throwing the blond patient another nasty glare.
 
Naruto avoided him. In fact, after his little tirade he paid them no heed, too wrapped up in his own conflicting emotions.
 
You promised, Sasuke. You said you'll stay.
 
Feeling a sudden tightness in his chest, Naruto gasped and didn't even try to blink the tears back.
 
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