Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Without Any Destiny ❯ Chapter 13: Sasuke’s Feelings: Part 3: The Sin to Love ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter 13: Sasuke's Feelings: Part 3: The Sin to Love

`A chance they'd never give

To ever want to live

The life I am made of

There's nothing left to prove,

My heart's forever true

What is it that they're afraid of?'

`Unaffected' by Hoobastank

"Good morning, Yuri-san!"

Tenten burst into Yuri's door and started flaunting herself. She looked at Yuri and then, she gave a large grin.

"I won Miss Konoha this year. You should've been there!"

"… Congratulations, Tenten. "

Tenten looked at Yuri. She was different that morning. She twirled around and looked at Yuri. Her eyes had lost the sparkle she used to have. Her face no longer had the radiance from before.

"What's wrong, Yuri?"

"Nothing…. Nothing's wrong."

"I saw Sasuke chased after you. Did he do something wrong?"

"No…. it's not him."

Tenten held Yuri's hand and smiled.

"Come; let's go get some breakfast and then, we'll go get some flowers."

"Isn't it Neji's turn today?"

"Neji-kun is off somewhere with Rock Lee and Gai Sensae so I'm assigned to protect you today."

"…Alright."

The curtains couldn't stop the sun from shining through. The room was half-lit. Sasuke was sitting on his chair as his mind seemed to be wandering far away. He threw a kunai on the wall. His eyes seemed tensed. Naruto watched Sasuke as he threw another kunai.

"Sasuke, Kakashi Sensae is calling for you."

"I'll be there soon."

"…Pft… If you say so…"

Naruto walked out of the door, leaving Sasuke in his dark boundaries. Sasuke threw another kunai on the wall.

`Kakashi is probably going to question me about Yuri. Who knows, that nosy teacher of ours might have seen what happen in that field yesterday night…'

`Why did I do it? Why did I even end up getting myself into it? What was my motive that time? I don't even understand… What possessed me to do it that night? Was it something she said? ... Or was it something in the field that night?'

Sasuke threw another kunai on the wall. He seemed a little frustrated.

"You seemed frustrated…"

"So, you decided to come and visit me instead?"

"On the contrary, yes…"

Kakashi walked to the window and opened the curtains. Sasuke flinched as the light went through. Kakashi looked into his book and began to read again.

"So… this frustration of yours… must come from Yuri, right?"

"… You seem to know everything."

"It just so happened that I know. Not that I wanted to know, but I was tracking the mysterious ninja."

"Mysterious ninja?"

Kakashi nodded as Sasuke threw another kunai on the wall. His eyes seemed to be concentrated on the book.

"I got a message that the mysterious ninja was currently in town. But it has no concern with you, though."

"He's still after Yuri, isn't he?"

"Not as far I know. He had no motive that day as far as I know."

"… No motive…"

Kakashi looked at Sasuke and then, concentrated back at his book .He was not going to tell him everything.

"Sasuke," he said. "What is your relationship with Yuri now?"

"… Not more than childhood friends…"

"Oh, really?" Kakashi chuckled. "So, kissing your fiancée is also just a childhood term?"

"… Shut up…"

Kakashi threw a kunai at Sasuke's kunai, deflecting it to the ground.

"You seemed to have slacked off behind your work lately."

"It doesn't mean my performance is bad."

"Still," Kakashi continued. "Yuri seemed to be more than just an ordinary friend to you."

"So, you like spying on me…"

"It's not that. I'm just going to give you an advice about this."

He walked to the window and climbed out.

"Tell someone something but when your heart is feeling something else. Until you find out it's too late to tell what's hidden, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"A ninja must not show any emotion in any situation," Sasuke countered back.

"True… but a ninja is still human. You still have a heart. I hope you take this advice of mine. Now, I've got things to do. I'll see you later. "

Kakashi disappeared, leaving Sasuke in his deep thoughts. The shadows of darkness had disappeared from the room as the afternoon sun burst in. Sasuke decided to leave this place for a while. He needed some place to soothe his troubled mind for a moment…

"Yuri-san, that's a great bunch of flowers you've picked up today!"

"… Yeah…"

"Yuri, you don't look so good. Do you want to see the town's physician?"

"… No thanks," she replied with a wry smile. "I'm doing fine…"

Tenten bit her lip. Yuri was not the same as she was yesterday. Something has happened to her and Tenten knew it had something to with Sasuke. They were crossing the bridge between the forest and the town when Yuri's pace slowed down. Tenten was disturbed by Yuri's behavior.

"Yuri-san… what is it now?"

"… Tenten, you may go…"

"Yuri, I know it has something to do with Sasuke-kun! If only you'd tell me what is wrong with you…"

"…Nothing's wrong. I'd like to spend some time alone here."

Tenten turned and gasped.

"Speak of the devil! He's here…"

Sasuke crossed the bridge and walked into the forest. Both of them didn't have any reaction neither was a word of `Hello' came out of their mouths. Tenten felt awkward. It was not like Yuri to ignore Sasuke like that or Sasuke to pretend that Yuri wasn't even alive. Yuri looked away and said,

"Tenten, I'd like to be left alone a while. This is the place where I come to think… to calm down. I'll come back when I'm ready. Don't worry about me."

"… Alright," Tenten replied after a pause. "But don't do anything stupid…"

"… You can count on me."

Tenten leapt away, leaving Yuri gazing into the water. The bridge was about 6 meters high above the water. The river was fast and moving. Her eyes looked blankly into the water and then, let go of the basket. Flowers scattered high into the air, with tears of melancholy.

"…Don't be stupid…"

Sasuke held his grip on Yuri's hand. Yuri looked at him, with eyes filled with sadness.

"… I did not do anything…"

"Damn it, stop lying to yourself! You were thinking of jumping, weren't you?"

Yuri kept silent. Tears flowed from her brown eyes. She knew it was meaningless to argue with Sasuke like that. She wasn't going to jump. She was just frustrated.

"… I was not thinking of jumping. I was frustrated. I just happen to throw the flower basket into the river."

Sasuke looked around. Yuri wasn't even climbing out the edge of the bridge. She just flung her basket out like that. Sasuke sighed. He: making another stupid mistake.

Yuri looked away from Sasuke and shook her hand.

"… You can let go now…"

"…Damn it… Why do you always make worry?"

Yuri felt Sasuke's grip loosened on her hand. She wiped her eyes, and gave a weak smile.

"This is the second time you'll ever catch me crying. There won't be a third."

"… Yuri… What am I to you now?"

"… Sasuke-kun, WHAT AM I TO YOU? That you answer me."

Sasuke bit his lip. His eyes looked undetermined. There was a long silence. Yuri sighed at Sasuke.

"… I know I mean nothing to you. I'm just a shadow from your past that you just wish to see again. Other than that, I am just meaningless to you."

Yuri shook her hand from Sasuke's grip and walked away a little.

"… I am just a sin…You can never have any feelings or any relationship with me. It's a sin to know me or to love me in the first place. I know that very well, Sasuke."

She turned her back and then continued,

"I had hopes… and many dreams. All of them seem to shatter down like broken mirror shards before my eyes. The fact is, Sasuke, you mean the world to me… because you were something I looked up to. I wanted you to become stronger because that is something I can't do. I looked at you and I think how much stronger you've grown, and somehow deep inside, I wished I could be just like you."

Sasuke just kept himself silent for a while; his hand clenched into a fist.

"Sasuke-kun," she said. "Thank you for your effort. It was worth the moment."

"Is that all you have to say?"

Yuri turned around. Sasuke seemed a little frustrated. His hand was shaking.

"The fact was, Yuri, you never even tried."

"... Sasuke-kun…"

"All this while… I've been waiting for you. And now, you give me this piece of crap to chew on? You think I can live with that?"

Yuri noticed tears fall from Sasuke's face. There were drips of them on the floor.

"… All of you… just leave me like this… leaving me alone… Who am I? Some kind of memory you didn't wish to remember?"

Sasuke clenched his fist.

"I hate you… I hate all of you…"

Sasuke felt a hand touch his shoulder and put her arms around him. Yuri stroked his hair as Sasuke cried on her shoulder.

"… Why do you cry for someone who's not worth your tears, Sasuke?"

He shut his eyes and choked on his tears. Yuri pulled herself apart from him and held his face. She wiped his eyes and said,

"…Sasuke-kun… you're the memory that kept me alive through out my darkest years. You're not a memory I want to forget. Every moment we had… I treasure. When I'm down, I think of all my happiest memories. The sad thing was I have not much of happy memories. You were my only happy memory. The times when we were kids were the times I cherished the most."

"You wanted to know how much you meant to me, right?"

Yuri felt Sasuke embrace her. He put his face against Yuri's face and made a move to steal a kiss from her lips. Yuri trembled in Sasuke's kiss. There was no evil intention in it. The kiss was pure and sincere… like what she felt last time. This was no longer a dream. This was real.

"Then, let me confirm to you… that you mean everything to me."

Yuri felt her eyes water with an uncertain feeling. She finally found something she has been looking for and waiting at the same time for all of these years. Her heart can finally find peace… for now.