Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Won't Let You Go ❯ Chapter 01 ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Won't Let You Go
Author: Reyn
Rating: R for `Arr! I'm a ninja!'
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Nor do I own Barbara McCauley's `Callan's Proposition', or McDonald's.
Warnings: Yaoi (in the form of Sasuke and Naruto…with a few dark horses along the way to make things interesting) slight Het (in the form of Sakura, but nothing solid enough to scare people away, I promise), and cross culture (in the form of American culture clashing with Japanese in this loverly little AU)
Opening Theme: Going Down In Flames by Hidell

Author's Note: Woot! Naruto! (is quite excited for her first ever Naruto fanfic) Before we jump for gleeful joy over the wonderfulness that is Sasuke and Naruto, let's throw a few Caution signs out there.

First off, this story is AU and was inspired by a lovely little romance novel called Callan's Proposition. If you've read it, then great! You still won't know how the story's gonna turn out, `cause my Genius plans on running away with the plot. If you haven't read it, then great! You're in for an awesome read (assuming, of course, that this sort of thing rocks your boat).

Secondly, I have a habit of jumping right into the story. No filler beginnings, no long introductions, no giving the readers an ample chance to understand the character before the plot begins. Why? Because it's more fun to slowly figure the character out as the story goes on, that's why. The plot will run deeper than what the first few chapters reveal, so no complaining is allowed.

Finally, (and this is so my beta doesn't look bad) if you see a spelling error, it's intentional on my part. Usually, I'm a total ass when it comes to correct spelling, but there are a few things that I prefer spelling my own way. If you see anything grammatically incorrect and it's in quotes, it's intentional. Why? Because people don't speak correctly all of the time. So therefore I'm not about to make them do so all of the time. It's how I build their character. YaY!

So there you have the major Caution signs. You have been warned.

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Chapter One

It was raining.

They often say that the weather reflects one's mood, but Sasuke seriously doubted that even a level 7 hurricane could match his temper at the moment.

The day for the young businessman had started with driving back and forth between various meetings, one of which was called in last minute and relocated at the client's private cabin up in the mountains.

Mountains that were up in the middle of nowhere, a good fifty miles outside of any real civilization that hosted a McDonald's©.

And that was where Sasuke would pinpoint the beginnings of his day's misfortune.

Sasuke knew from the get go that the client's demands would be unreasonable - come on, who holds important meetings at their private vacation lodges? - and ten minutes into the meeting his hunch was proven correct.

It wasn't that the insisted royalties were beyond the company's possibility; it was just that they were beyond what was fair for the account.

So Sasuke told them to either reassess their demands or consider themselves dropped. Not exactly something his boss, Shikamaru, would be happy to hear when he flew back in from Tea Country, but oh well. Sasuke didn't really care. He knew they would fold after a bit of thought. Yondaime Inc. wasn't rumored to be the best without reason, after all.

On his way back down the mountain, he encountered a flat tire. A flat tire that, after a bit of investigation back up the road, seemed to have been caused by a screwdriver lying in the center of the two lane highway. He was in the middle of nowhere and had run over the only road hazard within a one hundred mile radius. Go figure.

As if that wasn't enough, Fate decided to try to be funny and two seconds later, it was pouring cats and dogs. Normally, a tow truck would have been called at this point, but seeing as how cell phones never got signals while in the bloody mountains, Sasuke was stuck changing the damn tire himself.

Once back in the city (a good two hours later than scheduled), Sasuke's girlfriend, Sakura, called the second she was in her car and on her way home from her lectures and proceeded to spend her drive home complaining about the same two things she always complained about. One Rock Lee, a bushy-brows, bowl-haircut nice guy who was always flashing her smiles and professing his undying love for her whenever they crossed paths, and one Naruto Uzumaki; Sasuke's business partner extraordinaire.

Now, don't be quick to misjudge. Sakura was normally a very sweet girl, but when someone goes calling her boyfriend's cell nonstop through her birthday dinner the night before - even going as far as to call the restaurant's house phone - then there would be hell to pay; regardless if said boyfriend didn't take any of the calls due to the fact that they were all made from Naruto's house phone, meaning the company was not in any type of mortal jeopardy.

Well, that and Sakura just didn't like the guy (which could probably be blamed on the fact that her first impression of him was based on all the bad things Sasuke had to say about him after a rough day at work).

But at the moment, Sakura's rants were going unheard as Sasuke, still dripping wet and covered in mud, stood frozen in the entryway to his office, hand on the doorknob, as he stared at the room before him in mind numbing shock.

Packages were littered about the floor as if they had been in a pile and someone tripped over them. The copy machine in the corner was spitting out copy after copy of who knows what as thin tendrils of smoke curled up from its side. The fax machine was running nonstop, a pile of papers strewn haphazardly about on the floor below. The secretary's desk was a disaster area with mail and official documents scattered everywhere, some flying about in a small whirlwind around the poor, black haired woman who was desperately trying to take phone call after phone call as the office's multiple lines continuously rang.

Blinking, Sasuke leaned back to double check the nameplates next to the door. `Uchiha Sasuke' and `Uzumaki Naruto', yep this was his office alright. But what the hell?

“Sakura…I'm going to have to call you back,” Sasuke spoke, ending the phone conversation abruptly. Not hearing his girlfriend's sputtering questions, he hung up and dropped the cell into his pocket.

“Hin-” No, there was no way for him to be heard over the shrill ringing of the office's phones.

Marching over to the wall, Sasuke bent down and ripped out the phone cords, effectively silencing most of the noise.

“Hinata!” he barked out, causing his secretary to jump. “What the hell is going on here?”

Eyes wide and looking like she was in the middle of a panic attack, Hinata answered, “H-he did-didn't tell you?”

“Who didn't tell me what?” Sasuke asked, forcing back a little of his level 7 hurricane of a temper that was surely being shown on his face.

“N-Naruto.” At the stony look on her employer's face, Hinata knew she was expected to continue. “Uh-uhm…well…he…there was…a uh…l-letter…he…uh…resigina-…uh…he, ah…quit,” she finally managed to stutter out meekly.

“He what?” Sasuke asked, quite sure that the girl's stammering had caused him to hear wrongly.

“Naruto q-quit.”

The next few seconds were filled only with the humming of the machines in the background.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

At Hinata's refusal to meet his eyes, a feeling of dread washed over Sasuke. “You're lying,” he whispered as he turned and stormed over to his partner's side office, kicking aside packages as he went.

“I-I'm not!” Hinata insisted, chasing after him. “He was s-sitting on my desk when I arrived this morning and-”

“That's a lie,” Sasuke insisted, rattling the locked doorknob, fully ready to just kick the door down. Hinata was quick to present him with a set of keys. “That dobe never comes to work early.”

Upon hearing the satisfying `click' of the lock being released, Sasuke barged in, only to be confronted with an office devoid of all signs of previous use with the exception of an empty desk, a bookshelf, and a filing cabinet.

What the fuck?

Where were the pictures? The posters? The useless trinkets? The Playstation console that was supposed to be stashed in the corner under the TV that hung from the ceiling? How could all of that and more just have disappeared over the course of one night?

Just yesterday, Naruto had been his usual, happy-go-lucky (if not slightly annoying) self. What reason could he possibly have to just drop everything and quit? Unless it had something to do with why he had been so persistent in trying to reach Sasuke last night…

God damn it!

“H-he said he emailed his resignation to Shikamaru-sama this morning,” Hinata continued quietly, reminding Sasuke that she was still there. “And judging from the amount of emails and phone calls that have been coming in, all of his clients have been notified as well.”

Fuck! Sasuke stormed out, only to turn and storm back over to Naruto's doorway.

He quit…The idiot quit…Shikamaru was going to kill him. No. Screw Shikamaru. Tsunade-sama was going to kill him, because he was positive that word of this was going to reach that high.

Why would Sasuke be blamed for his partner's untimely resignation? Because it was a well-known fact that Naruto and Sasuke did not get along. At all. So if one stomped out of the office in a fit of rage or quit, it was automatically assumed the other was at fault. Which it usually was. Not that such a thing could be helped.

The blond dobe had just shown up out of the blue one day wearing a suit that didn't even fit him right (a trend that had continued through to present time), carrying a resume that probably sported little more than `flipping burgers' and Shikamaru had hired him on the spot and slapped him together with Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke, who had graduated from high school at the top of his class, managed to snag his Bachelor's Degree in two years, and had landed this position thanks to various internships and high recommendations.

Shikamaru had to have been high or something when he hired Naruto.

“Why?” Sasuke asked suddenly, pausing in his furious pacing. “Did he say exactly why he had to leave?”

Startled (and a little frightened that her boss might have gone off the deep end), Hinata shook her head. “N-no…But he did leave a letter on your desk.”

Nearly dashing over to the opposite wall, Sasuke burst into his own private office and snatched the small white envelope off the desk, tearing it open.

Sasuke,
While it's been fun antagonizing you this past year and proving my competency to exceed your expectations (not that you'll ever admit it, you bastard), I regret to inform you that I must resign from my position with Yondaime Inc.
-Naruto
P.S. - You should give Hinata my job. She may not be as loud as me, but she's definitely got the brains for it. Ja ne!

Sasuke ripped the letter in half. What kind of crappy ass explanation was that?!

Shit, this was serious. The idiot couldn't quit! If he quit, the company would lose their accounts with Tea Country, Mist, and most importantly, Jiraiya! Those were multi-million dollar accounts! Not to mention all the smaller deals that would probably pull out as well once they saw all of the more prominent clients dropping out like flies.

Oh God, Sasuke was going to get blamed for this, he just knew it. How so many of their clients found Naruto's `charismatic' personality to not only be likable, but reliable as well, was completely beyond him.

Crumpling the letter into a ball and tossing it into the wastebasket, Sasuke leaned back against his desk and began to think. How the hell was he supposed to fix this before he got in trouble for it? Well, that was obvious; he needed to get Naruto back.

Pulling out his phone, Sasuke dialed Naruto's cell number.

“Greetings to you, oh Wise One whom has dialed from afar! You have reached the voice mail of the Great Uzumaki Naaa-Naruto! I am-”

Sasuke hung up. After glaring at the phone for a bit, he decided to try again, only this time it was Naruto's house number.

“Hello?”

“You freaking idiot! What the hell do you think-?”

“Hang-hang on, I can't hear you. That might be because I'm not really here and that this is a recorded message. If it's important, start talking after the-”

Sasuke snapped the phone shut with irritation. If he were any less of a man, he would have thrown it against the wall as well, but he prided himself in having more restraint than that (which was laughable, really, if anyone bothered to recall the time Naruto flew out on an emergency business trip with Tsunade-sama and neglected to inform everybody. The result of his one week disappearance was a broken cell phone, a broken keyboard, two broken locks due to doors being kicked in, a Sasuke who was impossible to work with, let alone appease, and a Hinata who nearly had a nervous breakdown seeing as how she was the only one that dealt with the man on a daily basis).

Damn it, Naruto, where are you?

Sasuke knew he should relax; that the answers would come eventually. But he also knew that if Naruto quit so suddenly, he was likely to skip out of town just as fast, depending on how dire the circumstances really were. And for the moron to quit the job that he worked so hard for with next to no notice, he'd say things were pretty fucking dire.

If that were the case, then Sasuke would search every damn building in Fire Country until he found the idiot. Then he would kill him for the amount of stress he had to go through during the manhunt.

Distracted from his mental angst by a vibration in his pants, Sasuke pulled out his cell and anxiously glanced at the display screen. All hopes were dashed when it came up as a number he didn't recognize.

“What?!” he barked, answering the phone regardless.

“Now is that any way a businessman should be answering his phone?”

Sasuke's eyebrows scrunched at the familiar voice, unable to put his finger on who it belonged to just yet. “Who the hell is this?”

“Don't tell me you've forgotten me already! After those two glorious years we shared together…”

Sasuke frowned in aggravation and then growled, “Kiba.”

“Aw, I missed you too, princess.”

“Don't you have classes to attend?” Sasuke snapped. “Don't tell me they actually let you graduate. Or did you finally give up and drop out?”

“Just because I'm not a genius like you, doesn't mean I'm a drop out,” Kiba replied, clearly irked at the poke on his level of intelligence. “For your information, I have Tuesdays off.”

“Because I care.”

“I'm sure you do. So! How's life?”

Sasuke scowled. Old friend or not, his daily patience limit had long since been tossed out the window. “If you don't have some dire reason for calling me, I'm hanging up. I'm in the middle of a crisis here.”

“Oooh, lemme guess! Does this crisis go by the name `Naruto'?”

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. “What do you know?”

The smugness was evident in Kiba's tone with this new bit of leverage. “I know that our Minister of Foreign Affairs has a soft spot for Snow Country because he has the hots for their princess. I also know that Greenpeace has given up on saving the animals and environment and have instead turned their sights to examining sex toys for potential toxins…”

“Kiba…”

“Oh, you mean Naruto? Well, let's see, he has blond spiky hair, blue eyes, pouty lips at the moment, could probably use a bit of cheering up…”

“Kiba, I fucking swear to God…”

“Okay, okay, geez. He's down here at the tavern where I work, seemingly determined to get himself completely wasted. You remember where it is, rig-?”

Not even bothering to deal with the formalities of finishing the conversation, let alone allowing his old roommate to finish his sentence, Sasuke hung up and marched out of his office, determined to get his idiot of a partner back.

 

Doodle-eh-doo! Doodle-eh-doo! Doodle-eh-doo!

The countertop felt decidedly cool against his cheek as the Great Uzumaki Naruto stared dejectedly at the remnants of his drink, sardonically thinking of how quickly his beyond awesome life had been reduced to nothing with a simple phone call.

There should be a law against family members coming over with only a last minute announcement as warning. And because of this he had to quit his job! His job! Nearly two whole years worth of work wasted because he had a big mouth!

He still didn't know what he was going to tell his Iruka-sensei about the sudden loss of work among other things, but he figured he could rely on his mouth when the time came to get him out of that jam. His stupid, big fat mouth and its lies…

It was all Sasuke's fault. Stupid Uchiha Sasuke with his stupid porcelain skin and his stupid perfect hair. No one except models should be allowed to have hair that healthy! No one! Stupid Sasuke! Stupid rich bastard and his stupid perfect life and his stupid girlfriend who got to love him so freely.

Stupid…

“I take it we're done ranting about Sasuke?”

Naruto lifted his head as the bartender took away the empty drink and replaced it with a new one.

Throughout the course of the afternoon, as his sobriety was slowly guzzled away, Naruto found himself liking this particular bartender more and more. The guy had messy brown hair as if he couldn't be bothered with brushing it, and rather sharp canines that were far too short to make him a vampire (as the blond deduced in his alcoholic haze). Add to that the two long, red triangles that were painted on his cheeks in support of his school's football team to make sure they made it through the season and on to the championships, and all in all, Naruto found him to be a right swell guy.

Not only that, but he listened to Naruto's rants with genuine interest instead of the usual half-hearted sympathy that bartenders were known for. They should be great friends, Naruto had announced after downing his third drink and feeling better than ever.

But now he was on his…twelfth? …Fifth? …Twenty-eleventh? Fuck it, who was counting anyway. Now that he was on his some obscure number of drink, that happiness had given way to angst, which was something Naruto had not been expecting. His new goal now was to drink until he could no longer remember even the size of his own penis (which, given the fact that he tended to measure it at least once a week out of boredom, was a hard thing to forget).

So instead of greeting Kiba the Bartender with the enthusiastic smile he had been using earlier, Naruto simply scowled. “I could continue bastardizing Sasuke-teme for at least another week.”

Kiba leaned against the bar, his eyes flickering up before grinning. “Oh yeah? Does this Sasuke know that you think so highly of him?”

“Of course I do. Naruto sees it necessary to remind me at least five times a day.”

The blonde's eyes widened as he whirled around at the familiar voice. “Sashuke!” he squeaked, falling off his stool in the process.

Sasuke merely rolled his eyes in greeting, making no move to help his now ex-business partner up off the floor.

“What are you doing here?” Naruto asked as he heaved himself off the ground with the excessive help of the bar stool. “You should be at work! Shikamaru's not gonna like it if the both of us are slacking off.”

“Lucky for us, Shikamaru is out of town,” came the simple reply.

Naruto's face scrunched up thoughtfully. “Oh yeah…Vacation, right?”

Sasuke scowled. “Business trip, idiot.”

“Bah.” Naruto waved a hand about in dismissal. “He needs a vacation. An absence of leave!”

Deciding now was as good of a time as any, Sasuke tried to direct the conversation to why he was here - why they were here - instead of at work like they should have been.

“Speaking of leaving…”

“No!” Sasuke suddenly found his personal bubble being invaded by an accusatory finger that was pointing menacingly at his nose, causing him to go slightly cross-eyed for a moment. “No work-related talk now, Sasuke! I'm currently on vacation! Forever!”

As if to prove his point, Naruto downed his drink with flourish, slamming the empty glass back on the counter with the loud order of, “Keep `em coming, Barbender!” before flashing a large grin at his sour-faced associate and unbuttoning the top two buttons of his oversized shirt.

Sasuke's scowl deepened at the action, only to have his eyes land on the soft rise of Naruto's collar bone, which was now visible. A small blush graced the Uchiha's cheeks as he noticed how the blonde's tan ran even down the expanse of his chest. An impressively toned chest, from what he could see peeking out at him from the white fabric.

What the hell? They worked in an office all day. When did the dobe find time to get out? Did he go down to the river on the weekends or something?

The resulting mental image of a wet Naruto standing waist deep in water with his arms raised above his head was enough to make Sasuke swallow thickly.

Casting Kiba a glare as a new drink was delivered, Sasuke pulled the alcohol away from Naruto's outreached hand.

“Coffee,” he ordered in a tone that left no room for argument.

“But-! H-hey! What're you-? That's mine, teme!” Naruto complained as he helplessly watched the black haired man down what was supposed to be his drink.

“Black coffee,” Sasuke emphasized. “Now.”

Naruto pouted as Kiba rolled his eyes and took back the now empty cup before wandering off.

Not bothering to wait for his order, Sasuke turned and grabbed Naruto's arm, dragging him none-too-gently to a nearby booth where they would have a bit more privacy (not that it was needed, with how empty the place was at this too-early-for-dinner hour). Surprisingly, Naruto didn't object to the rough handling.

Remaining quiet as he was unceremoniously pushed into his seat, Naruto settled himself a bit before looking up and asking, “Ne, Sasuke? How'd you know I was here?”

Sasuke blinked, recalling his earlier resolve to storm every building in Fire Country until he found the blond. Ha, like he'd ever admit that to the idiot.

“The bartender, Kiba,” he answered after a moment. “He was my roommate before I graduated from college.”

Kiba, Naruto thought savagely. That bastartender! We can never be friends!

With all the complaining he did, you'd think Kiba would have taken the clue to not call Sasuke. Geez, was he mentally retarded or something?

“So what's going on, Naruto?” Sasuke asked, leaning forward on his elbows.

Naruto scowled and looked stubbornly off to the side, feeling completely put out at the fact that he had been sold out by the bartender of all people. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

Sasuke's eyes closed in agitation as he reminded himself that more patience than usual would be needed because the usuratonkachi was drunk.

“Fine. Why did you quit so suddenly?” he tried again.

Naruto blinked, looking over at Sasuke before he remembered that he was mad at him for simply existing and quickly looked away again. “Because I don't like you,” he said stubbornly.

“Bullshit!” Sasuke exploded, his fist slamming down on the table. “We've hated each other since day one and if it didn't stop you then, there's sure as hell no reason for it to stop you now.”

Naruto sat back in stunned silence at the outburst, allowing the words to slowly sink in as he lowered his head shamefully.

With an aggravated sigh, Sasuke leaned back and ran a hand through his silky hair, reminding himself that yelling at the blond was usually the fastest way to get him to clam up - not the direction they wanted to go in at the moment. Closing his eyes and mentally counting to ten, Sasuke once again collected his thoughts.

“Are you sick?” he asked.

Naruto frowned at the offensive idea of him not being a healthy individual, but answered regardless; not sure why his partner was suddenly concerned about his welfare. “No.”

“Did you borrow money from the wrong people?”

“No!”

“Did you get some girl pregnant?”

“God, no!” Naruto exclaimed, finding each of these questions to be more and more ludicrous.

“Then what?” Sasuke demanded, finding himself out of ideas. “Are you in trouble with the law or something?”

“Look, teme!” Naruto shouted, finding himself once again thoroughly pissed off. “Just because we all didn't grow up with the same perfect life that you did doesn't mean we're all criminals!”

“Amen to that,” Kiba cheered, punctuating his sudden appearance by producing two steaming mugs of coffee before the two men.

Leveling the unwanted bartender with a glare that clearly stated his opinions - let alone his presence - were not desired, Sasuke continued to keep unwavering eye contact until the grinning Kiba took the hint to leave.

When he finally did (a whole sixty seconds later), Sasuke returned his attention to Naruto, only to find blue eyes downcast once again and the man mumbling to himself.

“…The same perfect life…”

Not sure what Naruto was going on about, Sasuke leaned forward to ask for clarification when the blond suddenly let out a loud wail and threw his upper body down onto the table, effectively scaring the piss out of the other man.

“Oh God! What're they going to think when they find out?! This is all your fault, Sasuke!” Naruto cried, looking back up to glare at the black haired man. “You and your stupid, perfect little - GRAH!!”

Cutting himself off to yell in frustration, Naruto's head thumped back on the table, his hands burying themselves in bright yellow locks.

Waiting a few moments before deeming it safe to extract himself from the seat's cushions he had attempted to bury himself in at the unexpected outburst, Sasuke reached a hand forward, stopping himself just short of touching Naruto's shoulder.

“Oi…” he called out hesitantly, almost afraid of a repeat performance. “Dobe.”

Naruto peeked up upon hearing the unwanted nickname and, still sniffling, asked, “Ne, do you really hate me?”

Under normal circumstances, Sasuke would have answered with a deadpanned `yes' or a snappish `What do you think?', but at the moment, he had a sinking feeling that whatever Naruto was hiding from him affected both of their futures, and Sasuke's answer to the question would either make or break the blonde's cooperation for the night.

He sighed. “Why don't you tell me what's going on before I answer that?”

Naruto groaned and banged his head on the table several times. “Do I have to?” he whined.

“Yes.”

At this, Naruto pouted and shifted about so that he was resting his head on his chin. “What if I said I don't want to?”

“I don't recall giving you a choice,” Sasuke replied, elbows once again on the table.

Naruto appeared to think for a moment before straightening up and leaning forward as if he were about to strike a deal. “What if I said I really don't want to, please - AND! Threw in my Playstation?”

“No.”

Shot down, the blond slouched back and began to bite the side of his lip.

Suddenly looking far more nervous that Sasuke had ever seen, Naruto's eyes began to flit about; looking down at the table, over at the bar, towards the small stage on the far side of the tavern - anywhere but at the man sitting directly across from him.

“Well…you see…it's kind of like this…” Naruto hesitated, squirming about in his seat and playing with his emptied cup of coffee. “The thing is…Are-are you going to drink that?”

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched as Naruto's hands inched towards his untouched mug. Not even bothering to dignify the question with a response, he simply continued to stare at the blond, secretly enjoying his ability to make the dobe sweat.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto kept his gaze down on his hands, which had paused in their creeping forward. Well, here goes nothing…

“The thing is…'m'ngaged,” he said, rushing out the last bit before darting forward to grab the drink and down it; a pathetic way of avoiding the awkward direction this situation was about to take.

It took a moment for the confession to register, and when it did, saying that Sasuke was shocked would be a major understatement.

Naruto was engaged?! What the hell! Not that such an idea was as farfetched as Sasuke would have liked to imagine…but for such a thing to be announced out of the blue? When Naruto had never even bragged about a girlfriend beforehand? Did that mean it was an arranged marriage? Despite Naruto's seemingly poor background and heritage?

Damn it, what other secrets were being kept from him?

“Since when?!” Sasuke exclaimed. “To who?!”

Tilting his head back to drain the last few drops of remaining coffee, Naruto set the empty cup down before him with a loud `clunk'. Staring blankly at the table, he blinked a few times before bringing his gaze up to his business partner of nearly two years, his expression far more sober than Sasuke had ever seen.

“To you,” Naruto answered solemnly.

The seconds ticked by.

“…WHAT?!?” Sasuke most certainly did not remember granting his permission for such a thing! Were same-sex marriages even allowed in Fire Country? Wouldn't engagement to Naruto require one of them proposing first? There was never any proposal prior to this! This engagement should be void because of that fact!

All bewildered thought came to a screeching halt at the sound of Naruto's guffawing laughter.

“Bwahahahaha! You should have seen your face! Oh! Oh, that was priceless!” The asshole actually had the nerve to have tears in his eyes as he continued to cackle, sitting up straight and waving an arm above his head. “Bartembler! …tembled…tem…tend…You! Dogface! Get this teme a beer!”

Sasuke's cheeks were splashed red with both embarrassment and anger. “Naruto…”

Looking innocent to the point where anyone would be suspicious, Naruto turned his attention back to Sasuke.

“What? I was kidding, geez. As if I would ever want to be engaged with you. You're so mean all and you never smile. Your face is like this all the time,” he said, using his fingers to contract his face into some weird shape that looked nothing like the fair-skinned male.

Patience nearly at its limit, Sasuke wondered if he would still be able to convince Naruto not to quit his job if he punched him in the jaw. Probably not.

What the hell was going on with Naruto? Just how much did he have to drink? From what Sasuke knew, Naruto was a borderline homophobe. Any time a man got a little too friendly, the blond would blush and stutter before hightailing it out of the room. And when it came to gay jokes…well, Naruto definitely wasn't one to be making them like he was now. Not even when it came to light teasing. And joking about engagement? To a guy? Who was this man and what had he done with the dobe?

Reaching over and grabbing the mugs from Naruto's side of the table, Sasuke cautiously took a sniff, only to draw his head back sharply. The remaining residue smelled strongly of alcohol. Kiba. That blockhead. He wanted real coffee, not some drinker's parody of it! No wonder Naruto wanted his cup on top of his own…

Sasuke's attention was pulled away from the cups as Naruto abruptly stood and began undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt.

“D-dobe! What the hell are you doing?!” Sasuke demanded, blushing brightly as he quickly looked around to see who else may be witnessing such a display. “Sit down! And put your shirt back together!”

Naruto frowned. “But it's hot! Hey! Do you think this place has a pool?”

“What?”

“But I don't have my swim trunks…Oh well. I've always wanted to try skinny dipping.”

Abruptly standing as well, Sasuke moved to re-button Naruto's shirt. “Alright, I think it's time to take you home.”

“Why? I don't have a pool there.”

Not bothering to answer, Sasuke finished up with the buttons, turned, and started walking to the door, confident Naruto would follow.

“Oh, is it because you want to pick up my swimsuit before we go to the pool? Is it because you don't like skinny dipping, Sasuke?” Naruto hurried to catch up, throwing an arm around his partner's shoulder and poking him in the cheek playfully. “Are you shy? Is it because you're lacking in certain manly areas? Aw, that's okay! I won't laugh, I promise.”

Eye twitching, Sasuke prayed Naruto's home wasn't far from here. The sooner they got there, the sooner he could force the idiot into a cold shower to sober him up enough to try get real answers out of him.

Hopefully then some light could be shed on what the hell was going on.