Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ WTF!!! The Rokudaime's Pregnant?! ❯ WTF!!! The Rokudaime's Pregnant?! ( Chapter 7 )

None of the characters below belongs to me…

Read and enjoy…

Any ideas on continuing this story is very welcomed…

 

`Sasuke's thoughts…'

 

 

 

 

 

The Birds and the Bees

by: c7bi_kyuubi

Naruto is now in his 6th month of lugging the fruit of his and Sasuke's carnal imagination and release of those fantasies plus certain periods of sexual frustrations that eventually lead to an all night orgy. They have no one to blame but their own sometimes perverted and extremely lovey dopey relationship that sends Gai sensei and Lee into hour long speeches on the power of love and youth and Kakashi into a carnal hunt for some special bed exercises with a certain blushing but happy-to-oblige dolphin. Sigh, kids nowadays. However, the real kids are not as dense as they are supposed to be. Just as Sasuke would later find out…

 

 

 

 

Naruto in his 6th month of pregnancy was dozing and daydreaming a lot. His Hokage duties are taken over by Godaime temporarily until he pushes the four little suckers out into the new world. That is she, Godaime, agreed after a little (a lot actually) bribing of sake and a few rounds at the casino that now Itachi runs. Oh yeah, by the way, the former homicidal elder brother of the famous ice prick, otherwise known as Uchiha Sasuke to everyone else but Sasuke-teme to his beloved kitsune, is earning big bucks and his stoic poker face is very handy, running a casino…

 

Sasuke is doing his stuff, not the ANBU captain jobs as Naruto wouldn't let him go on those dangerous missions until their babies are born, but instead he is teaching. At the academy. Surrounded by screaming, sugar-overdosed, hyperactive, drooling, snot-dripping, love-to-poopy-everywhere-except-the-toilet kids. Naruto thought it would be good practice for his future and very near fatherhood. And amazingly, he managed to keep ALL the kids in the ENTIRE academy in line. This put even Iruka into shock and he went home for wild, hot and heavy sex with Kakashi who was seen smirking, grinning, leering… you get the point… the next day. It was obvious that Kakashi wasn't complaining.

 

How does Uchiha Sasuke the famous ice prick or Sasuke-teme keep the screaming, sugar-overdosed, hyperactive, drooling, snot-dripping, love-to-poopy-everywhere-except-the-toilet kids in line? Well, first appearance does count you know. The very FIRST day he walked into class, he GLARED his famous, deadly and enhanced (from the training when he was with Orochimaru) Uchiha Death Glare AT THE KIDS as he warned them that he wouldn't tolerate any misbehavior. Ain't he a genius or what? As to be expected when hit head on, or rather face on in the kids case, with the Uchiha Death Glare, they were scared shitless.

 

Also the threat of serious mauling, crippling, decapitation, injuries, playing Barnies non-stop, head smashing, gut wrenching and other blood thirsty gore that could even send Orochimaru and the Gaara of the past into shock, he started his first class. One of the kids, a brave or foolish (it must be the latter) boy decided on his own that his new Sasuke sensei was bluffing. So he proceeded to pull out his super duper whooper mooper ten inches long and three fingers thick of a spitball launcher and proceeded to load his weapon.

 

Sasuke who was at the moment writing on the blackboard casually tilted his head to the side just as the one inch in diameter spit covered paper ball came into contact with the board with a very wet splat before it slid down the board leaving a wet trail on its way downtown. Sasuke's hand paused in his writing, the whole class gulp nervously, sensing doom nearby except the brave but very stupid and foolish and idiotic boy who cursed at his missed mark. The curse sounded very loud in the silent as death classroom. Sasuke slowly and gently put down his chalk, the entire class flinched warily watching the graceful but very EXTREMELY deadly move.

 

The stupid, idiotic, foolish and death wishing boy was on the process of loading his second ammo onto his spitball launcher. [(sigh) The weapons ninjas think of these days…] Sasuke turned around, his Sharingan swirling around and stared at his class. His class in turn scooted back in their seats and stared wide eyed at the famous legendary Sharingan… Not to mention ASS WHOOPIN' DEADLY!!! The boy (you know who he is…) was having trouble loading his `weapon'. Ahhh… to die in `battle'…

 

Sasuke was now facing the class and he easily picked out the demon spawn that did the evil and foolish thing. The Uchiha Death Glare turned into Uchiha About to Maul a Helpless Victim That Doesn't Even Know What Is About to Hit `Em Glare. Some of the kids fainted out of fear and the rest hid under their tables and chairs, quivering in fear. Sasuke walked gracefully and silently as well as ASS WHOOPIN' DEADLY towards the `amazingly stupid and dense demon spawn'.

 

He slipped the spitball launcher out of the surprised and stupefied kid's hand. Then, he chidoried it. “This is what happens to things that don't belong in classrooms.” He said softly, letting the charred dust that was once a spitball launcher trickle down from his hand onto the kid's table. Now the once stupid and idiotic demon spawn suddenly became a lot wiser, and turned into a normal thinking kid, quivering in his place. The lesson of that day, NEVER MESS WITH AN UCHIHA EVEN THOUGH HE IS THROUGHLY KITSUNE BEATEN…

 

Class dismissed…

 

 

 

 

Naruto poked his head into what he supposed was Sasuke's assigned room. Feeling that it was weird that classroom hours (especially paperwork hours) could be sooooooo quiet. Maybe they all went out to train? Nope, there they are… “STUDYING QUIETLY?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS SCHOOL?!?” Naruto yelled out loud in surprise as he threw open Sasuke's classroom door. He stared at the kids, who were a little pale and then at Sasuke's smug and happy face. (though he didn't show it, Naruto knew it. Being around Sasuke and managing to get under his stone-like exterior, he knew Sasuke VERY WELL…)

 

Uzumaki Naruto, Rokudaime on leave from Hokage duties due to pregnancy, the only person who managed to tame an Uchiha (even though said Uchiha is cold, stony and dangerous to everyone else), THE ONLY MALE to ever get pregnant (I think…) and the only beloved of Uchiha Sasuke who is otherwise known as the Ice Prick among Rookie 9 and Sasuke-teme from Naruto, narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his spouse who managed to look innocent without any emotions showing on his face AT ALL. (sweatdrop) Ahh… the many talents of an Uchiha…

 

“You threatened them didn't you?” He asked, his voice full of suspicion… Sasuke looked even more innocent without showing his emotions. “What are you talking about?”

 

“Don't try to lie to me!”

 

“Dobe. Say what you mean.”

 

“Don't call be dobe you freakin' bastard!”

 

“You are a dobe. Always will to me anyways.”

 

“I hate you!”

 

“Yes, I love you too.”

 

“Bastard!”

 

“Moron.”

 

“Ice prick!”

 

“Idiot.”

 

“Stop calling me names!!!”

 

“You started it first. Dead last.”

 

“… You are really annoying sometimes…”

 

“…”

 

Naruto then turned to Sasuke's class, “Did he threaten you guys?” A few terrified looks were thrown Sasuke's way who pretended to be oblivious to his surroundings and a few furious headshakes ensued. Naruto scowled. “Don't lie to me. And don't worry about him, I'll deal with him.”

 

“And how do you propose to do that?” A curious quirk of an elegant eyebrow.

 

Naruto shot Sasuke his perfected hurt puppy dog look with eyes swimming with the look of utter betrayal while hugging his now bulging stomach. Sasuke managed to hold their eye contact for a full three seconds before he looked away, muttering curses under his breath which Naruto heard, every single word of it. He shot the class a grin and a cheeky wink, receiving giggles in return. “Hey, aren't you guys supposed to be having a break now?” He asked. Sasuke glanced at the clock above him and waved the class out. The kids clamored to surround Naruto. One of the little girls gently patted Naruto's stomach, eyes wide. “How did you get pregnant, Hokage-sama? I thought boys don't get babies in their bellies…”

 

“Ah… now that is an interesting story. You see, one day, me and your teacher over there was feeling horny.” Naruto said when they were outside and he sat under a tree, the kids surrounding him.

 

“What's horny?”

 

`Demon spawn.'

 

“Hmm… Well, I guess it's a feeling you get when you wanna have sex… Right Sasuke?” Naruto asked, turning to look at Sasuke who was staring at him mouth gapping and eyes wide in shock.

 

“What's sex?”

 

“Oh. You kids don't know what's sex?”

 

`No! Don't tell them! Let someone else do that!!!'

 

“Nope.” Came the chorus.

 

“Lesse… Now sex is when two people do something that would make babies in the process. Boys have penises and girls have… what's it called? Oi Sasuke! What's it called again?” Getting no response from his still in shock spouse, he continued on.

 

`Shit.'

 

“I think its call vanilla or something.”

 

`Ahaha!!! The parents are so going to kill Naruto. And me…'

 

“Like the ice cream?”

 

“No. Very different. These are known as private parts and people don't talk about them in public. But I'm telling you to teach you so it's okay.”

 

“But what's it got to do with how your belly get so big?”

 

`I'm going to kill that kid the first chance I get…'

 

“I'm getting there. Be patient, geez. Now, the boy will insert his penis into the girl, and after a few bumping or humping, comes the orgasm. It's a nice feeling that…”

 

“And then?”

 

`That one too…'

 

“And then, the boy will shoot his seed, which is a kind of liquid, into the girl who then if she got lucky will get pregnant and then her belly will grow big like mine.”

 

“Ewww… You mean the boy pees in the girl?”

 

`Maybe I'll just kill all the kids in this village and blame it on Itachi's influence…'

 

“Nope. That's totally different. You'll understand when you get older or you can ask someone else for more details. I'm not too sure of the terms they use to call these things.”

 

“Is this when the baby grows inside your belly? Does it hurt?”

 

`Ohhh… I'm so going to kill them all…'

 

“Sometimes there isn't only one baby, like me, I have four babies in my belly. And no, for the first few months not really. But after the 3rd or 4th month, my back hurts from carrying the babies weight.”

 

“How come Sasuke sensei doesn't get pregnant and you do?”

 

`That one I'm going to torture first. Slowly… Then I'll kill them all. Maybe Naruto too.'

 

“Because he's an ice prick and I am more lucky than he is. Besides, he's not fit for the job. NYAHAHAHA!”

 

`Yep, Naruto is definitely getting it. I'm gonna torture him too.'

 

“How do people have sex?”

 

`That's it!'

 

“Oh! That's easy. Yo-mmmphpmmm!!!” Naruto mumbled around Sasuke's hand that was muffling his mouth. “That's enough kids, go play or pester someone else now.”

 

“Awww…” The kids whined but left anyways in case Sasuke turned his Uchiha Death Glare on them again.

 

“What are you doing?!?!” Naruto yelled at him, “I was teaching them!”

 

“No you were not. You leave that subject to more subtler people.”

 

“But I was telling them what is the truth! They're gonna find out when they get older anyways!”

 

“Yes I know. But they way you're telling it sounds just plain wrong.”

 

“What's wrong with it?!”

 

“It's just wrong. And Kakashi? You can stop hiding now. Jiraiya, I'm going to sic Tsunade on you. Will you two stop laughing?!?!”

 

The muffled laughter and giggles escaped the two renowned pervert's mouth. Kakashi was rolling around on the tree branch (how he does that I don't know) laughing his ass off while Jiraiya was scribbling madly in his notebook while tears of mirth leaked down his eyes. He was laughing so hard that Sasuke wouldn't be surprise that his words would look like chicken shit and not chicken scratch. Wait, did he just made an attempt at a joke? Nah…

 

“I see Iruka coming. Maybe I should tell him someone was taking photos of him bathing this morning. Or maybe I should tell Tsunade that SOMEONE was peeking on her when she was in the baths… Hmmm… what should I do?” Sasuke murmured, sure that the two could hear him loud and clear.

 

“WHAT?!!?! YOU PEEPED ON IRUKA SENSEI AND TOOK PHOTOGRAPHS WHEN HE WAS BATHING YOU PERVERTED SENSEI!!! ERO SENNIN PEEPED ON TSUNADE BAACHAN??!?! EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!” Naruto's loud voice could be heard throughout Konoha. The two up in the tree was very silent now. `Shit.' Was their only thought as all of them felt the sense of two murderous auras approaching them at high speeds.

 

“KAKASHI!!!!!!!!!”

 

“JIRAIYA!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Twin screams of bloody murder echoed throughout Konoha and dust clouds trailed after Jiraiya and Kakashi as they fled for their lives, swearing to get back at Naruto, and on their heels, Iruka and Tsunade out for their blood and for daring to threaten their dear sweet Naruto who is pregnant. Nobody, NO ONE, threatens their little Naruto especially when he is pregnant.

 

“Hn. Idiots.” That was Sasuke's only reply. He then hugged his Naruto closer who was snuggling against him. Awww…

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that's it for this chapter! I have to go work on Mother-hen Kyuubi now and the other fic I've been planning for quite some time now but never really bothered to put it into proper English… Ohhh, I need ideas… Should I continue? Help? Anyone?