Naruto Shippuden Fan Fiction / Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Preferable Path to Perfection is You ❯ Just Speak ( Chapter 11 )
Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Naruto are property of Masashi Kishimoto. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.
Chapter 11: Just Speak
"Itachi?"
Deidara had stopped walking, earning an impatient glance from Itachi as he halted as well and whirled around to berate him for his lack of haste. Deidara had been clearly distracted- he seemed upset about something, which Itachi hoped wasn't because he'd made them leave. He'd neglected to bring it up however, feeling if that was the case that he'd rather they didn't stand in the rain and argue about it any further.
"Never mind," Deidara eventually muttered, stalking past him with anguished eyes. Itachi eyed him in concern, stepping into line next to him.
"What is it?"
"You," Deidara snapped, though there was no malice in his tone- only frustration. "Just when I think I've worked you out, you throw a spanner in the works."
Itachi didn't have a reply so he gave none, focusing ahead of them through the rain. Deidara eventually snaked a hand around his waist, making him jump- but not resist.
"You're really cold," Deidara breathed lightly next to him, sliding his hand further around Itachi and leaning slightly against him as they walked. "Let me warm you, yeah."
Itachi had no intentions of complaining, letting Deidara curl up into his side as they walked almost bound together and in perfect harmony. Deidara eventually slipped his hand down until he found Itachi's, lightly clasping it in a squeeze before stepping away completely.
"Do you understand me, Itachi?" Deidara asked quietly as they walked, breaking the silence that had reigned since they had split apart.
"You're crazy," Itachi shrugged. "But I like you."
"I like you too. That isn't what I asked though- do you understand me?"
"I'd like to say yes, but I'm still at a loss why you do the things you do sometimes," Itachi told him, smiling a little at the memory of Deidara sticking googly eyes on everything. "I'm not an artist so I suppose I'm not going to understand fully, right?"
Deidara sighed in frustration, waving a hand in his direction. "For someone so perfect you really are _stupid_," he muttered, pushing his hands into his pockets and staring down at the floor so intently Itachi was surprised it didn't crack beneath his gaze.
Itachi didn't dare question him, thrusting his hands into his coat pockets as well and shivering as the wind howled in his ears. The weather was getting worse if such a feat was even possible, finally prompting even Deidara to pick up the pace.
"Itachi," Deidara eventually spoke, shouting to be heard above the wailing wind. "You aren't going to like this but we should shelter, yeah."
Itachi begrudgingly agreed he was right, allowing himself to be led into an a bus shelter they had been passing- he presumed that was what had spurred Deidara into bringing the subject up in the first place.
The shelter wasn't all that great- it had no door, and was more an overhang with glass sides without even a bench to sit on. It did keep the rain out, but not the cold- Itachi figured one out of two was better than none, tightly wrapping his arms around himself and leaning against the side of the glass and attempting to still his jaw.
He never had handled cold weather well, reminiscing with a small smile about shopping in the dead of winter as a child with his mother and always complaining about the weather. Not that she'd taken much notice- his eyes darkened and he pushed the memory away instead.
Deidara was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the glass with his arms folded and glaring down at the concrete as though it had wronged him somehow. Sulking, Itachi noted, feeling slightly guilty that he had been the cause.
"Did I upset you?" He spoke softly, earning a glance up from Deidara.
"I'm fine," Deidara lied, shrugging and turning his attention back to the floor.
"You're a terrible liar."
"And you need to stop overanalysing everything and see things for what they are," Deidara replied cryptically. "Not everything is shades of grey."
Itachi didn't give a response, simply turning his attention back to the weather. He had no idea what Deidara meant, as usual, which was apparently the problem. He had no intention of attempting to work it out because that would run the risk of upsetting his friend further- at least, he assumed it would if he got it wrong.
"It isn't getting any better out there," he eventually spoke flatly when they'd been waiting for about ten minutes in awkward silence. "And I'm not getting any warmer. Can we leave?"
Deidara shrugged, still glaring at the floor. Itachi finally down sat next to him, eyeing him wearily as though he would bite. Deidara simply regarded him with a quick flick of his eyes before turning his attention away once more, looking mildly distracted about something.
"Do you want to talk?" Itachi offered, seeing it immediately.
Deidara simply reached into his pocket, pulling out the now slightly tatty looking letter he had been carrying earlier. He handed it to Itachi, refolding his arms and averting his gaze as Itachi opened it curiously and read it. The last paragraph ended with a line that caused his heart to leap to his throat and his eyes to narrow.
"Deidara," he breathed, putting a finger to the line in question. "This says you turned down a scholarship at another college on the other end of the country first. Why did you apply if you had no intention of going?"
"I didn't expect to get accepted," Deidara countered. "I just wanted to see if they would take me."
"I've heard of this college," Itachi argued, pointing to the paper again. "I don't study art and even I know it's the best art college in the country. You shouldn't have turned that down, Deidara."
Deidara exhaled heavily, shrugging awkwardly. "It's done now, yeah."
"Did you want to go? Please be honest."
"Yes," Deidara replied immediately, his voice empty.
"So why didn't you?" Itachi asked, feeling angry on his behalf. "You don't see your family and you have no ties here. It would be a great adventure for you and a chance-"
"No," Deidara cut in. "I do have ties here, you're just too stupid to see it. My ties are you."
"Who ditches the chance of a lifetime for a friend? You're the stupid one," Itachi muttered. "Why did you give me this to read?"
"I'm just upset," Deidara replied softly. "I made the decision to stay but I'm wondering whether it was the right one."
"What's changed your mind?" Itachi asked slowly, not entirely sure he wanted to hear the answer.
"I don't want to talk about it," Deidara retorted, curling up against Itachi like he had done earlier. "You're so cold, yeah."
"I've been telling you that."
"The weather is getting worse."
"That means I'm feeling worse."
Deidara reached out and unbuttoned Itachi's coat, earning an indignant glare in response.
"I just said I'm cold, what-"
Itachi stopped speaking when Deidara pulled his left arm free of the jacket and lifted it, placing it around himself before curling right up into Itachi's side. He was warm and his touch was soft, clasping his arms around Itachi so tightly as if he was afraid to let him go.
"You know," he spoke quietly. "I am glad to stay. I really am. I just never expected that I'd change my mind- I had my eye on that college for years before I met you, yeah."
"Then why-"
"Itachi," Deidara interrupted. "Can you stop asking me why? You sound like a broken record, yeah. I already told you why."
They stayed curled up together, Itachi fighting with the desire to simply close his eyes and sleep on Deidara's shoulder. He was warmer now- comfortable even, simply watching the rain splash onto the ground outside the shelter in a melodic soothing symphony.
"We're stuck here for a while anyway," Deidara murmured quietly in his ear. "Get some rest- you look tired."
Itachi didn't protest, allowing his eyes to close and feeling the clutches of sleep grasping at him as he did so. He let it happen, sighing contentedly as Deidara curled his arms around his waist a little tighter in fondness- though Deidara made sure he was fast asleep before shifting so Itachi was the one curled up against him instead.
"Just tell me," he uttered almost silently as put one hand to Itachi's hair, affectionately tucking it behind one ear. "Tell me what you really think, Itachi."
Itachi awoke feeling horribly cold before he registered anything else, eyes shooting open to the clap of thunder that had disturbed him. Deidara was no longer curled up with him, standing at the edge of the shelter with one hand out catching the rainfall instead and radiating melancholy instead.
"Deidara?" He called, swallowing to moisten his dry throat. Deidara glanced over his shoulder, startled for a moment before throwing him a tiny smile.
"It got worse," he remarked, all traces of his low mood banished. Itachi narrowed his itchy eyes- he really needed to stop sleeping with contacts in- at him, taking note of his companion's dripping wet hair and drenched coat.
"Did you go and stand out in it again?"
Deidara looked sheepish. "I couldn't resist. There was a lightning strike just up the road and I couldn't just let that go, yeah."
"You didn't think to wake me and move to somewhere a little safer?" Itachi protested, pulling himself to his feet wearily.
"We're perfectly safe."
"I hope you got it out of your system," Itachi commented, joining Deidara at the edge of the shelter. "Because I'm going to call us a taxi."
Deidara whipped around to face him, looking startled. "What? That's no fun! We could at least walk home in it!"
"No," Itachi told him evenly. "If you had your way we'd be stuck here all night."
"I don't see a problem with that," Deidara sulked. "I'm rather enjoying it."
Itachi rubbed at his sore eyes irritably, shaking his head and pulling his mobile from his pocket, flicking through the numbers in his phonebook. Deidara snatched it from his hand, giving him a pleading look.
"Can't we walk at least? I don't mind leaving, but does it have to be a taxi?"
The sensible part of Itachi's screamed that yes, he really did want to get a taxi for a huge myriad of reasons, but apparently his lips had other ideas. "Fine. We'll walk."
Deidara's face lit up and he beckoned, jumping out into the rain and twirling around in it with a laugh. Itachi watched him from the edge of the shelter, unable to resist a smile as he observed.
"Join me, yeah!"
Before he could react, Itachi felt his arm being tugged and he was out in the rain as well, protesting lightly as Deidara held him in place.
"Look up," Deidara near demanded, and Itachi obeyed. He got an eyeful of rain for it so he closed them, letting the droplets wash down his face and taking the moment to truly enjoy it. Deidara could have been on to something- not that Itachi would admit it- about enjoying a storm more when faced with it.
"This might be the last time we share something like this."
Itachi wrenched his eyes open with a start, fixing them to Deidara in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Before I move colleges," Deidara shrugged before turning to walk, leaving Itachi behind for a moment in stunned surprise.
"But you're only going to be in the town over," Itachi replied, jogging a couple of steps to catch up. "I can take you and collect you if you want. I might have to take you early and-"
"Itachi," Deidara interrupted. "I'm thinking about accepting the other offer."
"I thought you turned that down?" Itachi asked, hoping he had heard incorrectly.
He hadn't. "I can call them and try to get it reinstated, yeah."
"Is that what you want?"
Deidara looked contemplative, glancing back up into the rain again. "I really don't know," he practically whispered. "I'm going to think about it, yeah. What do you think?"
Itachi didn't reply right away. Not because he didn't want to because he did, but because he didn't trust himself to speak without being selfish. "I think you should do whatever will make you happy," he finally supplied, knowing before he said it that it was the least helpful thing he could offer.
Deidara frowned at him, flicking his drenched hair out of his face and looking away. "How is that meant to help me, yeah?"
Itachi had no response to give. Deidara glanced at him out of the corner of his eye for a moment more before exhaling irritably and setting his gaze to the pavement instead.
The mood as they walked home was sombre. Deidara was clutching at the envelope in his pocket in consideration and Itachi was simply watching him, unsure of what to say as they walked briskly in silence save for the rain pattering around them.
It was times like then that Itachi felt he needed to rip the perfection complex inside of him out by force and take it out back to put it out of its misery- miserable being the optimum word to describe their current atmosphere, anyway.
He glanced at Deidara, frowning slightly in confusion as he studied his face closer. The rain around them was torrential so he couldn't quite be sure, but if he didn't know better he would have said the liquid on his friend's face wasn't only that of rainfall.
The following morning Itachi woke up to daylight flitting through the curtains- something he wasn't used to, since despite having not replaced his clock he still usually woke at five am.
Deidara hadn't woken him either, but they didn't have college that day so Itachi figured he might have felt guilty about dragging him out into the rain the night before and let him lay in. He smiled and rubbed at his eyes, sitting upright and leaning back against the headboard to wake up a little more.
He heard Deidara's voice floating through the hall, frowning in confusion. He wasn't sure who he could be talking to, unless he had answered the phone for Itachi- something he'd never done because he always deemed it as rude, even though Itachi had encouraged him to treat the place as his own.
Slipping out of the bed he put a hand to the door handle, halting at the sound of a single sentence and suddenly feeling as though he was intruding in his own home.
"I know, Mum. I know, I-"
Itachi crept back a couple of paces, torn between eavesdropping and respecting Deidara's privacy. As far as he knew, Deidara wasn't on great terms with his family and never spoke about wanting to see or speak to them- much like himself, minus Sasuke. Curiosity got the better of him and he ignored how impolite he was being to put his ear to the door, listening once again.
"I've thought about it a lot. I- Mum, I..."
Itachi leapt away from the door as though it was on fire as he heard how tight his friend's voice was, but Deidara had raised his tone so he could hear what was said regardless.
"I know I shouldn't have just called out of the blue but I didn't know what else to do," Deidara continued wretchedly. "I've been up all night and I'm _tired_, I just want to relax, yeah. I-I do love you, even though we don't talk-"
He stopped, presumably listening to whatever his mother was saying as Itachi guiltily made his way back to bed and covered his head with a pillow to drown out the conversation. It worked, leaving him alone with his own culpable thoughts and a sense that he had said or done something terribly wrong if Deidara would rather call someone he rarely spoke to over coming to him with his troubles.
He stayed in hiding for a while longer, eventually pulling his head up to silence. It continued as he put his ear to the door, prompting himself to presume it safe to venture out.
Deidara was sitting against the wall in the hallway, knees drawn to his chest and arms wrapped tightly around them. He had his face buried so he didn't see Itachi at first, leaving the elder man wondering whether he should just walk past and pretend he hadn't spotted him. The thought was ridiculous, and the sound of him closing the bedroom door quietly startled Deidara into glancing up at him.
"What's wrong?" Itachi asked softly, keeping one hand on the door handle and refusing to move forward. Deidara looked like a rabbit in headlights and Itachi got the feeling he might bolt like one if he moved.
His gaze fell to a familiar looking envelope on the floor next to Deidara, taking that fact in for a moment until Deidara grabbed it, put it back into his pocket and rose to an unsteady stand.
"Deidara?"
"I'll be fine," Deidara replied, giving him a weak smile. "Don't worry about me, yeah. Shall I make us breakfast?"
He was gone before Itachi could collect his thoughts, heading to the kitchen and humming to himself as though everything was fine. Itachi followed him through and leant back against the worktop, eyeing Deidara carefully and trying to decide if he should come clean about what he had heard.
"You aren't fine," he eventually spoke softly. "I heard you talking."
Deidara froze in the middle of pouring water. "It's alright," he finally shrugged, resuming what he was doing. "My mother and I don't exactly hate each other. We don't really get along, but that's not the same thing, yeah."
"I guess I understand that," Itachi replied softly. "I... Deidara, you know you can talk to me about things, right? We're supposed to be friends."
"I don't think that's the right word anymore, yeah."
Deidara opened the fridge and crouched down in front of it, leaving Itachi to take in what he'd said.
"It isn't?" He eventually asked, feeling like he'd missed a vital piece of a puzzle somewhere if that was the case.
"You're an idiot," Deidara replied in a sing song voice. "We're low on milk."
Itachi frowned at his back, folding his arms across his chest. "Can you stop calling me that? Or at least explain why you keep saying it."
"Itachi, do you want to know why I was talking to her?" Deidara asked instead, standing back up again with the almost empty milk in his hand. "I wanted advice about which college I should go to. Last night you weren't very helpful so I got another opinion."
"Have you made a decision?" Itachi asked slowly, feeling his heart almost stop with the words yet projecting nothing to show that. The perfect mask was well and truly in place that morning.
"Yes."
The few moments of pause felt like an eternity to Itachi. He was positive his heart had actually stopped beating, resisting the urge to prompt Deidara for the answer. He didn't need to however as Deidara continued quietly only a second later.
"The first one. What do you think about that?"
The words Itachi wanted to say wouldn't leave his tongue, so he settled for what he thought he should be saying instead. "I'll support you in whatever you wish to do. I'm happy for you."
Deidara turned back to the coffees he was fixing, not looking Itachi in the eye. "Alright," he said quietly. "I get it. I'll call them later and see if they'll re-open their offer. Thanks for giving me your opinion."
Itachi took the coffee he was handed, wordlessly deciding to take it back to bed with him instead of having it at the table as he usually did. Deidara didn't protest when he vanished and closed the bedroom door quietly, putting the white cup down and settling himself back onto the bed.
"Idiot," he chided himself, tilting his head back to hit the headboard sharply, repeating the action a few times in frustration. "You are an idiot."
"It's Saturday," Deidara declared as he burst into Itachi's room breezily, startling Itachi awake. He had been lightly drifting in and out of sleep but that had been shattered, leaving him to sit up and blink a few times to adjust his eyes. He didn't know how long he'd been that way but it seemed it was long enough for Deidara's mood to lift.
"I know," he finally answered as Deidara fell onto the edge of his bed next to him. "So?"
"So tonight we're going out on the town," Deidara told him firmly. "We're going to celebrate properly, yeah. The college accepted me."
Itachi kept his perfect mask in place, refusing to react in any way outwardly that wasn't a pleasant smile. "That's excellent news. Well done."
"I was surprised," Deidara shrugged. "They were really keen to re-offer the place. I start next week."
"Next week?" Itachi echoed, eyes widening just slightly.
"That's why we're going out tonight," Deidara nodded evenly. "I'm leaving on Monday."
"That really is good news," Itachi repeated, his voice sounding alien and hollow. "I'm proud of you for going for what you want and getting it."
Deidara's face fell just slightly, but he recovered quickly and got up from the bed. "If you say so," he shrugged, heading to the door. "You and I are getting so wrecked we can't walk straight, got it? I want my celebration to go out with a bang, yeah."
"I'm sure that won't be an issue," Itachi muttered as Deidara closed the door. The idea of drowning himself in copious amounts of liquor was a welcome one- anything to stave the feeling that he was dying inside with every minute that Monday now approached with.
Chapter End