Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ A Soul Possessed ❯ Chapter 4

Asuka lay in her room fuming, the battle with the 14th still a fresh wound to her pride. She had in her eyes failed again. It didn't matter that this angel had been the strongest so far, didn't matter that there had really been nothing she could of done differently. Al that mattered was that she had lost for the second time in a row, and that Shinji had defeated the angel even if he had gone berserker. That weak, perverted, cowardly idiot had beaten her. She couldn't believe that someone like him could out do her.

Idiot, waited until the last minute just so he could show me up. I'll show him, I don't need his cowardly ass! I can do this all alone!

As she continued to mentally insult her fellow pilot and roommate, she heard a knock at the door. Since Misato was still at Nerv, and Shinji was currently the most spineless anyone had been since invertebrates dominated the world, Asuka was the only one there. So she went to the door and answered it, finding the man she at least thought she wanted. "KAJI!"

"Hello Asuka, I just stopped by to drop something off and to see how you're doing," said the man with the eternal Five O'clock shadow.

"I'm doing much better with you here, but what do you have to drop off?"

"Katsuragi asked me to bring these home, I don't know exactly what they are but she said to make sure they were placed on Shinji's desk." Saying that held up the musical score on plain white paper Shinji had been writing on. Asuka could see little notes next to the sheet music.

"What is it?"

"It looks like music, but it may as well be MAGI code to me. I never did have the appreciation for the arts Shinji seems to."

"So, the Invincible Shinji thinks he's a composer now. What's next is he going to try to play the cello in Unit-01?"

"Asuka, the situation Shinji has found himself in is pretty serious. It's possible that he won't be coming back this time. I found some notes on the back of these pages, notes about you, Misato, Rei, even me. They could very well be his final words. I think you should look at them, if only for yourself. Trust me."

Why should I read what the Invincible Shinji wrote about me? Probably nothing but perverted crap, I should just to see how much I should beat him when he gets back. But what if it isn't perverted, what if it's all bad stuff. Why would I care what the Third Child thinks about me?! His opinion is completely irrelevant! But still it couldn't hurt, and I'm bored out of my skull anyway.

She took the pages and sat down on the couch. Asuka paged through, looking at the crudely drawn music and seeing little notations here and there. On the back of the fifth page she saw some notes concerning Rei. While she had deep acidic hatred of the First Child because of her unnerving disregard for her own life, curiosity of what Shinji had written about the albino girl got the best of her.

Shinji's notes were neat and precise, as most everything else he did. Even with out guiding lines his words stayed perfectly ordered. The notes read:

-Thoughts on Rei

I figure the best way to order the music for everyone it is best for me to write down what I think and feel about them. I'll start with Rei as her piece would come up first. Rei to me is for the most part a mystery, and enigma hidden among the enigma that is Eva. She's quite, almost disconnected from the world around her. It's fairly easy to forget she's around if your not paying attention. It's almost as if she's a ghost, passing through this world just watching. Her pale skin does a lot to fit this description. The first time I saw her she was horribly injured, but was still willing to get into Unit-01 after I had refused. Seeing her like that, then holding her trying to comfort her after she fell from the gurney they had rolled her in on had pushed me into Unit-01's entry plug for the first time, not knowing what I should do. As I've gotten to know her, as much as anyone can know Rei Ayanami, I've found that she's very strong on the inside. She goes out to face monsters alongside myself and Asuka and never flinches. And even though she may have said she would protect me before we fought the 5th Angel together, I feel I have to protect her as well. I know I love Rei, it's almost like she's my little sister even though we are the same age. I feel happy to know that the only other person beside Father she ever even smiles at has been me. Thinking about all this, her theme should be smooth and quiet. Very subtle, yet portraying the strength she holds beneath her calm surface.

After reading that Asuka was deep in thought. She had always had a suspicion that Shinji had feelings for the first child, but not the kind he had written about. She had thought that he was in love with her much more then he had said in his notes. - So he thinks of Wondergirl as a sister. Come to think of it they do look alike except for the hair and eyes. Here I thought he wanted to sleep with her and all that. So who's next on his list here? -

-Thoughts on Misato

What can one say about Misato Katsuragi? At home she is sloppy, lazy, drunk, and the biggest tease in the world. But when we go into battle she becomes all business. I never quite understood how she could switch so easily between roles, but I wouldn't have her any other way. She's like the family I never had, my big sister maybe. Maybe even a mother, I think she thinks of me the same way sometimes. I may hate piloting Eva, but it's worth it to come home to our little patchwork family everyday. She gave me a home when I first got here, lent an ear to me when I needed to talk, even made me laugh a few times when I really needed to. I think I should make her theme reflect that. At times almost bubbly, with a somber tone in parts working into a hard determined melody, something to reflect her quick thinking in battle, yet her strong concern over Asuka, Rei, and myself.

This seemed a bit shocking to Asuka. She had never really thought of their guardian as more then her commanding officer. She hadn't allowed herself to think any of the things Shinji had written about so far. She began to wonder why he had written these things about Rei and Misato, yet never so much as spoke of them. It came to her that he probably never expected anyone to ever read these things, so he had felt more comfortable putting them into words. That these were his private thoughts and none of her business never entered her mind. With that she continued on.

-Thoughts on Kaji

If Misato were a mother to me, then Kaji would definitely be the father I never had. Ever since I met him and Asuka he has always seemed to find time to talk to me. He even tried to teach me how to pick up women, but I still haven't gotten the hang of that yet. Seeing him and Misato together just seems so right, almost an older version of Asuka and myself. I don't understand why Misato just doesn't admit how she feels about him. I could see them getting married, adopting me, and us all living in a small house somewhere far away from Angels and Evas. A place where we could just be a family. With Rei there as my sister, and Asuka… I'll go into her later. It'll take a bit more to get my feelings straight about my roommate and fellow pilot. But that's beside the point. Kaji's music should be fun to listen to, with a bit of the mystery he holds around himself. Maybe some saxophone for him like a jazzy sound. That would fit well for Nerv's number one lady-killer.

Asuka was not happy with how Shinji felt Misato and Kaji were so right for each other as she read that. To her Kaji was meant to be with her, not the major. But what Shinji had said here about both of them, it made sense that he would think that. The other thing bothering her was that last line, when he avoided writing about her. What did that mean?

"Probably thinks I'm not good enough for his little perfect world here. But Shinji didn't exclude me, he just put off writing about me. What does that mean? I guess I should go on to the next one."

Asuka looked down at the next set of notes, and was very interested to see what he thought of that man.

-Thoughts on Father

What can one say about one of the biggest bastards ever to walk the earth. I've tried to hate him with every fiber of my being, but I just can't. Gendo Ikari is still my father, by blood if not by deed. I don't understand him, why would he abandon a child when he was needed most? Everyone is always telling me that I must not run away, but how can I be expected to do that when my father ran from me when he had the chance. I guess because I'm supposed to be a better man then him. That's probably why I can never bring myself to hate him; I'm not like that. Even if he hates me for whatever reason he has, I can never go that far. If I'm a coward for not wanting to fight and hurt people, what does that make a man who runs away like a coward from a five year old child. I could understand him sending me away because he was needed to help prepare for the angels, but he could have stayed with me until my damn escort showed up. He could have spent some time with me over the damn years, could even do something as simple as call me by my damn name. He won't even go that far, always referring to me as 'Pilot Ikari' or 'Third Child' but never as 'Shinji'. Why won't he fucking call me by my name? His music will be very dark and ominous, bringing a chill to the people who listen to it. It will reflect the cold-hearted man he became long ago.

Asuka read what Shinji felt about the commander, and was shocked. He had cursed more times on paper then he ever had in the flesh. She immediately began to wonder about how the commander's actions were so similar to her own fathers, after her mother had gone mad. How much of her life had been almost an exact mirror to Shinji Ikari's? How many things had they both gone through that had been so similar, yet they had never met each other until that day on the "Over The Rainbow"? Then she noticed the last name he wrote thoughts on. She debated if she really wanted to read those lines, if she should even consider it. Her curiosity won out in the end, and she read what she feared she may not want to know about Shinji Ikari.

-Thoughts on Asuka

After all this writing, getting my feelings straight about everyone else that's important to me, I find myself having problems with this one. What I feel for Asuka Langley Soryu, the Second Child, is not as easy to put into words as everyone else has been. There are times when she absolutely puzzles me, and times when she frightens me, and times when she completely stuns me. But more rarely, times when she does something that makes me think we might not be so different as we seem. The night before the battle with the Seventh Angel, when she fell into bed with me, I saw her shed a tear after she called for her mother. It had stopped me from kissing her, but had also showed me she's not the girl of steel and armor she pretends to be when she's awake. She may call me perverted, stupid, and a wimp but I just can't help what my heart feels for her. All the perverted things she accuses me of dreaming about Rei or any other girl we go to school with, she'd be surprised to know that I only have one dream about one person. I dream of just her and I on the hill over looking Tokyo-3, with her in my arms as we watch the sunset. It's not really that perverted, but it's when I have those dreams I'm the happiest. I wonder if she feels the same thing for me at all. Probably not, probably would rather be in Kaji's arms then mine any day. But I can dream, can't I? I can dream of a life with her, where we aren't fighting monsters, just happy together. Maybe even with a family of our own one day. I want her music to be very strong, very upbeat to reflect her energy and confidence. It should reflect the things about her I wish I had within myself. With some parts of the music soft and serine to reflect the fragile girl behind the mask of strength and anger. To reflect the girl that I think I'm truly in love with.

To say Asuka was stunned reading that would be an understatement.

To say that everything she ever thought about Shinji Ikari had just been tossed into a blender and served to her in a light curry sauce may have been more accurate. Did he just, in writing meant for no ones eyes but his own, say that he loved her? She reread the section of paper, not noticing a single tear fall from her eyes and onto her shirt. She couldn't, wouldn't believe what she had just read. That idiot was nothing but a child, what did he know anyway. How could he even think about loving her, of all people? She didn't need his love; she didn't need anyone but herself. She'd tell that coward to his face the next time she saw him. She paused for a moment, when she realized that there might not be a next time, that he may never return to the apartment they shared. There was so much left unsaid between them, these writings were proof enough of that. The thought that she might never get to set the record straight with him caused more tears to fall. She angrily wiped her eyes, refusing to admit that she felt anything for him except contempt. But she couldn't fight her heart forever, and as she read the pages over and over her heart kept fighting harder against her mind. It would not let her fall back on rage and anger as she would normally. After she had read that section for the ninth time, she took the sheets of paper with the music and untold feelings to his room. She placed them on his desk, and then retreated to her small domain. When she got there, she collapsed on her bed and cried her eyes out. She fell asleep thinking of the boy who may never come back to her, never gain the courage to tell her himself what he had written.

Someone had left her again, and she hadn't even told them that she loved them before they had.

--

In a place where time and space had no real meaning, Shinji Ikari floated in a state between reality and eternity. He didn't know where he was, couldn't tell if he was even himself anymore. Then through the empty expanse he found himself on the hill over looking Tokyo-3. It was sunset, the time when the building would be brought up from their concrete tombs to reach out into the night, to signal that Tokyo-3 had stood for another day against the Angels. Shinji looked around him, wondering how he had arrived in that spot. Then he caught two people out of the corner of his eye, and turned to see who they were. He was stunned to see himself leaning against a nearby tree, with Asuka lying in his arms, wearing her favorite yellow dress. He couldn't understand, how could he be there and standing where he was at the same time. It reminded him of his dream, but that wasn't possible. He had never been an observer in that dream, had never watched himself and Asuka sitting together like that. His reflection on this odd twist in reality was interrupted by a voice he had not heard in a very long time.

"This is a good dream you have here," said a voice Shinji instantly remembered.

He turned around quickly, to find a woman about Misato's age standing by the railing. She looked like Rei but older and with brown hair and bright green eyes that looked hauntingly familiar. The woman looked at him, a sad look of someone who regretted a considerable deal of things. She wore a white lab coat over her pink shirt and black slacks, and had her hands in the coats pockets.

Shinji slowly approached her, not certain if he was going mad or dreaming. When he got closer to her, he could see tears brimming over in her eyes and could feel them in his own as well. He had not seen his mother in what seemed like an eternity, but knew who this woman was just by looking at her. He ran to her and wrapped his arms around her.

They stood there hugging each other and crying tears of joy for being reunited after much too long.

Yui knew they couldn't stay like that for too long, but she didn't care. She hadn't seen her son like this in so very long, only through his eyes or the eyes of Unit-01. Not as a mother holding her son. After she had pulled herself together, she pulled Shinji away so she could look at him. He looked so much like Gendo, so much like the man he had been before she had been taken by her own creation.

She wiped Shinji's tears away with the back of her right hand, ignoring her own. It amazed her how much she had missed of her son's life, and saddened her about how much she would miss when this nightmare was all over.

"You've grown so much since I last saw you. I wish I had gotten to see you grow up, see you go on your first date, all those first's I missed. I'm so sorry I left you when you needed me." Yui told him. Her tears came readily, the thought that her death had been the beginning of so much pain for her son ripped at her heart. Shinji looked at her, trying to memorize every line and curve of her face.

"I've missed you, Mother. I never thought I'd get a chance to see you again. When you died, I thought you were gone forever. How did you come back?" Shinji asked, his choked sobs catching his words in his throat. He had felt a presence with him when he had gone into battle, when he sat in his entry plug that reminded him of being held be this woman. It was nothing compared to the actual feeling of his mothers arms around him.

"I never really left, I've been trapped in Unit-01 for all this time. I only saw the world through its eyes, could only touch you when you were in its entry plug. I finally was able to break through before you died in the twelfth angel. I couldn't let you go before you had a chance at a real life. I've seen your memories of the past, after my accident. Your father used to be a good man. He loved you so much and I wish we had both been able to be with you. I had hoped he would have taken care of you, and Eva be damned, but I had always hoped he would have been there for you. I know that's not what happened, and I'm sorry you've had to be alone for so long.

"But he changed. I don't know why, but he couldn't deal with my loss. He ran from you and into his work to try to escape the pain in his own heart. You probably don't know this, but the Ikari name is mine. He took it after we were wed. You share my name, not his. His name was Gendo Rokubungi when I met him, and that's the man I fell in love with. Commander Gendo Ikari though, he is defiantly not the same. I'm telling you this because… because I want you to know the he was at one time happy to be your father."

Shinji took what his mother told him, and understood. He knew her death had hurt him immensely, but his father had been hurt as well. Were they so similar that they could have repelled each other? If he had been in the same position, would Shinji have done the same thing? He knew the answer was no, Shinji Ikari would never abandon anyone close to him.

But Shinji was not Gendo. Shinji knew he couldn't abandon someone because he knew how it felt. He knew he had people with him who cared. His father…

Yui wiped some of her tears away, continuing on with clear eyes so she could see her son.

"I wish I could come back and see you grow up, but I can't. I just want you to know that I love you so much, and I will always be with you even in death. Also, I have a gift for you, the only gift I have left to give. You have to go back now, back to the people in the real world. You won't remember any of this, but you will remember the important things. You'll remember how much I love you, and how things were before I was taken. I hope you get to have that family you so yearn for with Asuka, and maybe my final gift will help you deal with things that will come soon." Yui had problems finishing what she had to say to her son. She knew when they pulled him out that she would once again be confined to the back of his mind, to only see him through his own eyes. She then decided to alter her plans a bit

"I don't want to leave you again," Shinji said, trying to hold back his tears. He had just found her again; he didn't want to lose her now.

"We don't have a choice, and I will always be with you. I want you to grow up and have a very good life out there. This war will be over eventually, and you will have the chance to do anything you want. Anywhere can be heaven so long as you're happy. Just remember that what ever you do, where ever you go, I will always be proud of you my son." With that she kissed him on his forehead, then hugged him one last time. The world around them began to dissolve, and all that was left was blackness.

--

It had been a long procedure, and it had looked as if Shinji wouldn't make it through this time, but once again the Third Child had beaten the odds and had survived his ordeal with little more then a stay in the hospital. Ritsuko had taken blood and tissue samples to see if there had been any adverse effects to his stay within Unit-01. She was going over the reports from those tests when something caught her eyes. The genetic sequencing report held a startling revelation for the good doctor. She had had the test run to see if the reconstruction of Shinji's body had caused any damage to his DNA, since they had rebuilt him from the cellular level. She hadn't expected what she found in this report though. Shinji's DNA had been completely jumbled and resequenced, to where it almost didn't look like his. Ritsuko turned to her terminal and began entering commands.

-MAGI DNA ANALYSIS SHINJI IKARI

-COMPARE DNA SAMPLE LABELED A358B22 TO SAMPLE LABELED A02C32

-DNA ANALYSIS COMPLETE

-SAMPLE A35B22 DEVIATES FROM SAMPLE A02C32 BY 66%

This stunned Ritsuko, Shinji's DNA shouldn't have been that off without some adverse physical effects. If anything he should have shown some change in his physical structure if the genetic level was changed that much. She decided to run another test

-MAGI DNA ANALYSIS

-DISPLAY GENETIC ANCESTRY OF SHINJI IKARI

-GENETIC ANCESTRY: YUI IKARI, MISATO KATSURAGI, RYOJI KAJI

This didn't make sense at all. Shinji should of only had two parents even if his DNA had been altered, and how did Misato and Kaji become those parents. It should have read Gendo and Yui Ikari, but the commander wasn't even mentioned.

-MAGI DNA ANALYSIS

-COMPARE DNA SEQUENCES OF SHINJI IKARI AND GENDO IKARI

-ANALYSIS COMPLETE

-MATCH PERCENTAGE: 0%

"What the hell. The commander's DNA has been completely removed from him. But how is that possible?"

-MAGI ERROR PERCENTAGE ON DNA ANALYSIS OF SHINJI IKARI AND PREVIOUS INQUIRIES

-MAGI ERROR PERCENTAGE: 0.000000001%

"An 0-9 response, MAGI is conclusive. But how did this happen? How did Misato and Kaji become Shinji's genetic parents? And where did the commanders DNA go? It doesn't make sense. I need to tell Misato and Kaji, they have to know this before the commander finds out." Ritsuko thought to herself. Then she started working on the MAGI one last time.

-MAGI ERASE ALL INQUIRES TO THIS POINT ON DNA OF SHINJI IKARI

-PLACE ALL FILES CONCERNING DNA ANALYSIS OF SHINJI IKARI IN PROTECTED STORAGE A5

-PASSWORD: MOTHER

-ALL INQUIRES ON DNA OF SHINJI IKARI… ERASED

-FILES ON DNA ANALYSIS OF SHINJI IKARI PLACED IN PROTECTED STORAGE A5

After making sure that the MAGI had completed its task, Ritsuko picked up her phone and called Misato. She had a good idea that Kaji would probably be with her.

--

Misato and Kaji walked into Ritsuko's office, not knowing what the doctor wanted of them. When they entered her office they saw a woman with a tired expression. Ritsuko was going on 72 hours no sleep; the only thing keeping her awake was coffee and cigarettes. Ritsuko motioned for them to sit as she finished up her report. She turned to them as she finished up, "Well, I've got weird news, and downright bizarre news. Which do you want first?"

"There's a difference around here?" Kaji answered smugly.

"I'll take that as give me the weird news first. I guess the best way to say it is congratulations you two."

Misato wasn't following the doctor's odd comments. She registered weird news and congratulations, beyond that it didn't make sense to her.

Kaji was a little quicker on the uptake, and was a bit concerned by her choice of words.

The only time he ever knew a doctor of any kind to use the word "congratulations," it was usually to tell a couple they were going to be… but wait, he and Misato hadn't done anything like THAT in eight years, except for tonight.

Seeing the freaked out look on Kaji's face, and the clueless expression on Misato, Ritsuko continued on, "You two are now parents."

This caused Kaji to sweat even more. This was weirder then he could have imagined. Misato had just registered the good doctors words and was shocked, "I'm pregnant?"

Ritsuko let them stew for a few more seconds, enjoying how they just squirmed at the thought of Misato being with child. After a few seconds Ritsuko decided they had suffered enough and clarified.

"To be specific, you two are now the proud parents of a fourteen year old pilot of Evangelion Unit-01. This is where the bizarre news comes in."

After Misato and Kaji's blood pressure returned to normal she continued.

"I don't know how, but Shinji's DNA has been almost completely rewritten so that you two are his biological parents. What's more I can't find a single strand from Commander Ikari. How this happened I don't know. All I know is that for all intents and purposes, you two are Shinji's parents." Ritsuko told them, leaving out that Yui Ikari's DNA was still a part of Shinji's genetic make-up.

"But I thought when you rebuilt him in Unit-01 that he would be the same. Why didn't he change at all, he doesn't even have anything different about his hair let alone anything that resembles us."

"Like I said I don't know. I don't even know how your DNA profiles were put into the mix, let alone be able to explain why."

"We should try to keep this information away from Commander Ikari. I'd rather not think about what he'd do if he found out his son was no longer his son." Kaji suggested, concerned for the boys safety as well as Misato's. Misato picked up on what Kaji was thinking, and immediately concurred. She would have to go check on him quickly to see if the commander had found out, and if Shinji hadn't already been hurt in some way.

"I wouldn't worry about Shinji, right now he's the only one who can pilot Unit-01 and the commander needs him. You two however had better watch your backs. He might find it necessary to have one of you killed so that his plans aren't side tracked. If Shinji were to become only loyal to either of you and not him he might want to remove you both from the equation. Also, I wouldn't tell Shinji about this. It could put undue stress on him and lead to a severe mental breakdown, since this could completely undermine his sense of self."

Kaji and Misato understood what they were being told. The commander, while not injuring Shinji directly, could do it by having either herself or Kaji erased. They both felt a cold shiver go up their spines at the idea of Shinji losing one of them now.

To Be Continued...

Authors Notes: Sorry about the delay with this part, but life gets in the way. I've been busy working on the new site at www.darkscribes.org and have been trying my hardest to get this out to you all. I'd like to thank Ryan T. Nelson and Random1377 for their help pre-reading this chapter. The next one shouldn't be too long from now, as it is practically written already. And that one will have a special guest author on it for their help. I won't tell you though; you'll just have to wait.

Revised edition notes: Well, here is the final redone chapter of "A Soul Possessed" before I start the new fifth chapter. In this one, I wanted to make Gendo a more sympathetic character. I wanted to have Yui be sad by what had happened on the outside, but still love Gendo even if he had gone cold. Honestly who knows how any of us would react? I can't say as I know. I hope I've toned the Gendo-bashing down to acceptable levels here. And if I haven't I'll make it up in a fic I'm working on. You remember "A Debt Repaid"? Well, I'm following it up with two or three more. I hope they are as powerful as the original.

C & C welcome at ld25@msn.com and webmaster@darkscribes.org

Later all.