Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ All That I Am ❯ Eleventh Refrain ( Chapter 11 )

Evangelion Fanfiction

By Otaku D-Man

Standard Disclaimer.

Refer to the First Refrain

Author's Pre-Rant -

Well, we've had our little taste of angst, so now it's back to the romance (sort of). But trust me, as with the series, each successive Angel attack will herald darker themes and elements in the story. Although I'll try to keep things PG-ish and still retain the focus of developing things between our main leads.

All That I Am

Eleventh Refrain - Seeing What Others See

Katsuragi / Ikari / Sohryu / Ayanami Residence

There were many things Misato detested and answering the door while still getting dressed was one of those pet peeves she had never come to terms with. Opening the door only to find someone you least expected just added to the whole unsavoury situation. "What are you doing here?" Any thoughts of modesty were forgotten in an instant. Misato glared spitefully at her uninvited and definitely unwelcome visitor, unconcerned by the fact that she held her panties in her hand or that her dress wasn't quite covering everything it normally would or should.

Ritsuko arched an eyebrow at the sight of her potentially former friend and decided not to make comment about the woman's indecent state of undress. She instead returned Misato's venomous stare with an affable, friendly smile. "I know we're not on the best of terms at the moment Misato, but if you recall, we do have a wedding reception to attend."

Misato's eyebrow twitched and her fist crushed the delicate underwear mercilessly. "I haven't forgotten." The knowledge that yet another one of her college friends was tying the knot only exacerbated her rage. "But that doesn't explain why you're here?" Misato said, directing her rapidly mounting anger at the elegantly dressed blonde.

Resting a hand on her hip, Ritsuko glanced over Misato's shoulder into the apartment. She smiled warmly at the something inside that had caught her attention. "To pick up my date of course."

"Date?" Misato dropped her panties in shock. Watching Ritsuko smile was enough of a shock in itself. The fact that the woman commonly referred to as a workaholic actually had arranged to go with someone only added to her confusion. "Here? Who?"

Ritsuko's date for the evening suddenly appeared in the doorway next to a still visibly stunned Misato. "I'll only be a little while Ritsuko-san." Shinji said. "Come on in." He offered. Looking at where Misato had dropped her underwear, Shinji momentarily blushed before sighing in resignation. "Misato-san, please be careful with these. They're really fragile and you're always complaining about how expensive they are." He explained, bending down to retrieve the flimsy garment and then pushing the item into her hand.

Normally, the mere thought of handling a pair of female panties would have resulted in severe blood loss and eventual unconsciousness for the young boy, but months of laundry duty had desensitised him to a degree.

Ritsuko checked her watch. "Thank you Shinji-kun, we've still got plenty of time." She answered, stepping past Misato and taking Shinji's arm with her own.

Now that her synapses were finally restored, Misato reacted as best she could given the circumstances.

Badly.

"Shinji-kun?!? Shinji-kun's you're date?" Finding herself standing alone at the apartment entrance, Misato spun around to follow the others inside.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Ritsuko lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, enjoying the soothing aroma. "I wanted to apologise to Shinji-kun for my actions during the last mission. I'm not much of a cook and I don't often have the opportunity to get out, so……." Her response trailed off as she observed Misato deciding to finally complete her ensemble for the evening.

While she didn't need help with the underwear, Misato latched onto Shinji to balance herself while she finished putting her shoes on. The temporary support, looking like he had been forced to endure similar treatment on an all too frequent basis, turned him an interesting shade of crimson while he attempted not to look at what Misato was doing.

"So you decided to ask him out?" Misato frowned.

"He agreed." She shrugged her shoulders. "Sort of." Regardless of her true motives or reasons, Ritsuko did truly want to restore her tenuous relationship with Misato and regain some measure of trust from the Pilots.

Finally managing to complete her outfit, Misato released Shinji, who in turn staggered backwards to lean against the kitchen bench. "Rei, you're okay with this?" Misato repositioned her underwear until she felt slightly more comfortable before turning to ask the girl who had just appeared in the kitchen.

Shinji, feeling slightly light-headed looked for something to distract himself with. The sight of the sexy, older woman shifting her panties and bra was more than his hormonally unbalanced teenage mind could handle.

While he may have adapted to some of Misato's scandalous behaviour he was still male.

Rei paused to calmly observe Misato and the others. "It is of no concern." Her eyes moved between Misato and Ritsuko before finally settling on Shinji. "I have discussed things with Shinji-kun."

"Misato, it's not like I'm going to get him drunk and take advantage of him." Ritsuko protested vehemently, offended that Misato would imply she would try something indecent on the boy.

"Of course you won't!" Misato exclaimed, outraged that the woman would even have the audacity to suggest something so immoral. <Why does this all seem so familiar?> She wondered. Suddenly she blushed, realising that she had held a very similar conversation with the same woman. Only things had been reversed back then.

Rei walked over to Shinji, who had decided to put the final touches on the dinners he had prepared for both Rei and Asuka. Even though Asuka had declared she was spending the night at Hikari's, it wouldn't be the first time if she suddenly decided to return home without any advance warning demanding an explanation as to why he had failed to prepare her meal. "Shinji-kun, you are not permitted to ingest alcohol." Her eyes once more flickered over to Ritsuko and Misato briefly before returning to Shinji. "Nor will you allow Doctor Akagi to molest you."

Misato burst into laughter while Ritsuko blushed furiously. "Rei, I'm beginning to like you more and more." Misato said, wiping a tear from her eye.

Firmly gripping Shinji's hand, Rei fixed her guardian with a cool stare. "In addition, you will resist any and all further advances Misato-san attempts whilst she is under the influence of alcohol."

***

Suzuhara Residence

The two teenage boys were spending arguably the best years of their lives doing exactly what they wanted.

Absolutely nothing.

A variety of junk food containers littered the coffee table while they both watched the latest martial arts blockbuster on the television. Had anyone bothered or cared to ask "How life was treating them?" they would have replied that life was sweet.

All in all, an idyllic evening. Unfortunately they were both at an age where they were just beginning to realise that there was a noticeable something missing from the overall picture.

Girls.

Popping the lid off a can of soda, Kensuke glanced at his tall, athletic friend. "So, are you going to call her?" His eyes flicked back to the screen just in time to witness the main protagonist defeat yet another enemy in a completely ultra-violent and unrealistic fashion.

Scarfing down another bag of chips, Touji spared Kensuke no more than a few seconds before returning to the action on the screen. "I don't know." He managed to reply around a mouth full of food.

Knowing that Touji was most likely incapable of expending enough brainpower to concentrate on both the movie and the conversation, Kensuke hit the pause button on the remote, freezing the 'hero' in the middle of extracting an enemy's heart with his bare hands. "Man, you told her you'd call her this weekend. In case you haven't noticed, it's the weekend. Girls expect the guy to call when he says he will."

"Yeah I know. It's just……….What do I say?" Touji continued to stare at the screen, hoping for any number of things. Hoping that Kensuke would restart the movie or that the television itself would provide the answers that he himself didn't have.

Deciding to actually help his friend instead of tormenting him, Kensuke leaned back and gave the problem some thought, thinking back over what he had seen and read about the subject to come up with an answer for Touji's problem that could possibly apply to this situation. Unfortunately his collection of military magazines, porn and videos were of little assistance. "Just ask her if she wants to do something tomorrow." He replied. "You know, go to an arcade, the movies etc. Hell, just hang out around the shopping district and have something to eat." Leaning forward, Kensuke realised just how little there was for a young, adolescent couple to actually do in Tokyo-3. Legally anyway.

Touji slowly absorbed the sage advice from Kensuke, mulling it over, trying to make sense of it all. "I guess. Do you think she'd come with me to see Mari?" He sighed. "Mari don't get too many visitors besides me'n Dad. It'd be nice if she had someone to talk to about girl stuff." Occasionally one of her friends from school would visit and it amazed him just how animated and excited his little sister could get when she started discussing things like music, makeup and boys with another girl.

Kensuke thought about the possibility, finally nodding his head. "Yeah, I think the Class Rep'll go with you if you ask."

Touji had to agree. "Yeah." The more he thought about it, the more he realised just how nice of a person Hikari Horaki was. "I hope Mari likes her."

Noticing the glazed look on Touji's face, Kensuke couldn't resist the temptation to mess with the boy's mind. "And then after that you can both go to that new Love Hotel. You know, the one with all the new Theme Rooms." He added conversationally.

Touji smiled, oblivious to the comment. "Yeah, themes………Hey, wait a minute." Grabbing Kensuke in a headlock, he began forcing handfuls of snacks into the boy's mouth.

***

Wedding Reception

Misato tried desperately to ignore what was happening before her eyes. Unfortunately, she hadn't had anywhere near the required amount of alcohol necessary. "Would you two stop that!" She spat.

"Whatever do you mean Misato?" Ritsuko asked innocently. Her arm was draped casually over Shinji's shoulder, the slightly off colour stories of Misato's college escapades she had been telling him left the boy blushing a dark scarlet.

Misato looked to the heavens for some kind of answer as to just why she had been singled out for divine retribution. Seeing no answer forthcoming from the ceiling lights, she turned her steely gaze back at Ritsuko. "You know very well what I mean." Misato's eyes moved to Shinji, who still hadn't recovered fully. "Shinji-kun, I'm ordering you to move over here away from that woman of dubious morals."

Ritsuko tilted her head up, smiling haughtily at her lavender haired opposition. "Find your own date Misato." Her arm tightened its hold on Shinji, preventing him from obeying Misato's directive. "Shinji-kun is already taken, at least for tonight."

Before she could unleash another tirade, Misato was silenced by a voice emanating from directly behind her. "Can't you be happy for them Katsuragi? They do make quite a picturesque couple."

"Kaji-kun." Ritsuko's raised eyebrow and faint smile provided every indication that she had suspected that Ryouji had been there all along. "Fashionably late as always."

Still firmly entangled by Ritsuko, Shinji forced a smile and offered a small wave as best he could. "Hello Kaji-san."

Kaji took the vacant chair next to Misato. "Hello Shinji-kun. Still playing the field I see." He winked, smirking broadly at the boy. "Well I wish you better luck than I had with our dear Doctor Akagi. Or are you here with the good Major Katsuragi tonight?" Kaji's arm had somehow managed to find itself wrapped around the waist of the bitterly displeased Misato.

"Pay him no mind Shinji-kun. He's just jealous." Ritsuko finally relented, releasing the poor boy, allowing him some breathing space.

Massaging the ribs where Misato had none too gently elbowed him, Kaji leaned back in his chair. "You have no idea. Your lovely young assistant, Lieutenant Ibuki was only telling me earlier just how much she admires our young hero here." He gestured towards Shinji, who only managed to look confused by the whole conversation. "You should talk to her sometime Shinji-kun. I do believe young Ibuki-chan is quite smitten with you." Naturally, his words resulted in Shinji's confusion evolving into complete and utter embarrassment.

Leaning forward, Ritsuko rested her chin on her folded hands. "And just what else were you discussing with Maya-kun?" While her tone was friendly and conversational, her eyes however, hinted at something markedly different.

Kaji grinned, knowing full well what Ritsuko was driving at. "Wouldn't you like to know?" He responded playfully.

Slamming her drink down in one shot, Misato indicated to a passing waiter that she was ready for another. "It's always one never ending joke with you isn't it Kaji?" Her glare, while different from Ritsuko's, also hinted at imminent danger.

"Only sometimes Katsuragi. Only sometimes." Kaji replied.

Shinji couldn't be entirely sure, but just for a moment, he was certain that he saw something behind the rakish grin and easy going manner that Ryouji Kaji always portrayed. It reminded him of something he once seen behind his father's glasses. A dark resolve that hinted at a willingness to do anything to achieve a desired result.

For the first time since meeting the Special Inspector, Shinji wondered if he even knew the man at all.

***

Katsuragi / Ikari / Sohryu / Ayanami Residence

Rei had been staring at the contents of the wardrobe for some length of time now, unsure of the course of action she was about to embark upon. The uncertainty was due mostly to how she expected Shinji to react.

The closet itself was nothing spectacular. Sturdy, functional and up until a while ago, had contained ample space for it's original owner's clothing supplies. Currently while it still had space available inside, it wasn't much. But it wasn't the availability of room that had consumed the young girl for the last hour.

"It is unacceptable." Rei's slight frown disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. She was not one to waste time procrastinating about a problem. Not when decisive action could resolve the issue.

The reason for her displeasure being the order imposed upon the contents of the closet.

Rei sighed. She was quickly discovering that Shinji had an almost obsessive need to maintain the small apartment in a tidy and clean condition. This compulsion was displayed more prominently in their room and reflected even more so in the closet.

Not for the first time, Rei's eyes flickered from the left side of the closet where her own small arrangement of garments were stored, to the right where Shinji kept his own sparse collection. This separation had not worried her at first. It was something minor and inconsequential.

But lately, having to look at it day after day had begun to annoy her. The level of annoyance had built to the point where she now found herself unable to allow the problem to continue.

Intervention was required.

"The problem will be rectified." Reaching inside, Rei began extracting all the clothes, setting them aside carefully. With a blank slate, she methodically began returning the clothing.

"Now it is acceptable." Smiling at the result, Rei stepped back to appreciate her handiwork. What pleased her was the fact that both her clothing and Shinji's were now intermingled, signifying a unification of sorts. Rei had taken great pains to ensure that the 'New Wardrobe Order' did not appear random or chaotic. She was confidant that Shinji would undoubtedly restore things if he felt things were too disorderly.

Satisfied that her clothes would now somehow absorb part of Shinji's essence, and his something of hers, Rei's eyes drifted over to the pair of shorts and shirt she had purposely neglected to return. Her eyes sparkled with amusement. Picking the shirt up, she inhaled deeply, blushing at her actions. "I believe I will bathe and then change into these." Rei murmured to herself, thumbing the soft cotton material.

The concept of taking a bath instead of a shower was also something Rei had now become accustomed to. She enjoyed water. The sensation of floating and envelopedby liquid fulfilled an almost subconscious need. It was just one of the reasons she swam. Swimming served as an ideal form of exercise, allowing her to maintain an ideal physical condition in conjunction with indulging in one of her more simple pleasures.

"Perhaps I will teach Shinji-kun how to swim." Rei nodded at her logical conclusion. Thus combining her simple pleasure with her defining pleasure.

30 Minutes Later.

Exiting the bathroom, Rei saw no need to dress. She was presently the only occupant in the apartment, and while she had promised both Shinji and Misato that she would refrain from wandering around naked, it only applied while Misato and Asuka were home. In addition the thought of encountering Shinji while they were both unclothed was something she found herself pondering more and more often of late.

<Perhaps another 'accident' will need to be arranged. > She thought to herself, already planning the execution of such an incident.

Inside her room, Rei walked over to the beds and sat down on the lower bed, "Shinji's bed.", running her fingers over the blanket, Rei laid down and rested her head on his pillow, smiling contentedly. "I sleep with him in this room." Closing her eyes, she imagined his presence beside her, his arms around her. "Yet it is not the same as sleeping with him." Lifting Shinji's shirt up to her face, Rei placed it on the pillow. "Wearing his clothes is enjoyable, but it is not the same as having him with me and holding me" Rei whispered before finally drifting off to sleep.

***

Horaki Residence

Idly kicking her feet, Hikari sighed. Watching Asuka vent her frustrations on a video game was becoming something of a regular occurrence in the Horaki household. Although the young Class Representative had to admit it was better than having the fiery redhead assault people in real life. "And Ikari-kun is on a date with this Doctor Akagi? And Ayanami was okay with it?" Hikari knew she would feel extremely unhappy if her boyfriend was escorting older, and from what she could understand, attractive women around.

Asuka dropped the game controller in disgust. "The stupid doll just talked about how much she trusted her Shinji-kun. It was enough to make me puke." Watching the young couple was more than enough for Asuka. She had needed to escape for a while and that meant staying at Hikari's for the night.

"I think it's kind of sweet." Hikari countered, her eyes beginning to glaze over.

"Sweet?" Asuka stared incredulously at her friend, unable to comprehend just how she could see anything even remotely 'sweet' about the situation.

Hikari clasped her hands together, the starry-eyed expression indicating she was lost in a romantic world of her own creation. "Being in the sort of relationship where you can believe that the other person will remain true, regardless of the temptation placed before them. That they'll only be thinking about you." Reluctantly leaving her fanciful dream alone for the moment, Hikari sat down beside Asuka. "You have to admit Asuka, that if your darling Kaj………Asuka? Are you okay?" Hikari became concerned at the sad, almost fragile look she saw briefly on her friends face.

"I'm just wondering what would have happened?" Asuka replied slightly despondently.

"About what?" Hikari asked, worried that something was terribly wrong. Something severe enough to affect Asuka to such an extent.

Asuka shook her head. "No. It's nothing important." She smiled, pushing her thoughts deep into the recesses of her mind to join the other terrors that plagued her every time she closed her eyes.

Before either girl could contemplate things any further, a young child's voice pierced the atmosphere. "Hikari!"

Standing up, Hikari opened the door to see what was happening. "What is it Nozomi?"

Nozomi's reply took on a singsong quality. "There's a call for youuuuu! It's Suzuhara-kuuuun!"

***

Katsuragi / Ikari / Sohryu / Ayanami Residence

The sudden ringing of the telephone woke Rei from her slumber. Her brow furrowed slightly at the interruption. The dream she had been disturbed from had been extremely pleasant. Still naked, she walked to the main living area to discern the nature of the call and its caller.

"Katsuragi residence." Rei answered, her expression quizzical while she watched the apartments only other occupant playing one of Asuka's many sensory immersion combat simulators. The sight of the warm water penguin with badly fitting human sized gloves and goggles squawking and jumping about was completely outside her realm of experience and understanding. She knew that the creature would undoubtedly not dare attempt such a thing if the Second Children were present.

Rei had discovered early on after relocating to live with Shinji that the temperamental Pilot of Unit 02 was quite possessive about anything she considered her property.

Rei's attention was immediately focused at the sound of the voice on the other end of the line. "Rei, your presence is required." Those five simple words were followed by the disconnection signal, indicating that Commander Ikari had hung up.

Rei stared at the phone before returning it to its cradle. Looking at her only companion, she informed the penguin of her recent orders. "I am required at headquarters." With that done, Rei returned to her room to dress before heading into NERV.

Penpen lifted the goggles from his eyes to watch the young, pale girl leave. "Waarkk!"

***

Streets of Tokyo-3

Walking the streets of Tokyo-3, Ritsuko gazed at the night sky, marveling at the poignant beauty of the stars sprinkled across the heavens. With her never-ending workload, she rarely saw much of the outside world these days. She couldn't even recall the last time she had simply taken a walk to see the sights. Her calm green eyes moved across to observe the two other people enjoying the warm night air. <One of the few times that I'd actually appreciate Kaji-kun's presence and he's not here.> "Are you alright there Shinji-kun?" She asked.

Shinji was valiantly struggling with Misato's taller mass. Considering the lavender haired Major was barely conscious only made his job more difficult. "I'm fine Ritsuko-san. I've kind of gotten used to this sort of thing." The fact that he had not slipped, stumbled or fallen was testament to his statement.

Ritsuko continued to carefully watch the young boys face, especially his deep, midnight blue eyes. The honesty and sincerity they contained both terrified and tantalised her. "I suppose you would have to. We all adapt to survive." Breathing deeply, Ritsuko suppressed the image of Commander Ikari overlapped with Shinji's gentle eyes that had been appearing more and more often. "Let's take a break."

Shinji missed the look of longing that Ritsuko had directed at him, more from having to cope with an extremely drunk Misato than out of any real ignorance. "I hope Misato-san decides to change into someone who doesn't drink as much." Shinji gently lowered his guardian down onto a nearby park bench, resting her head against his shoulder. Smiling at the peaceful, serene countenance that graced her sleeping features, Shinji carefully brushed a few stray strands of her soft hair from her eyes.

Ritsuko sat down beside him, watching his every careful movement. "Shinji-kun." Her voice wavered slightly, thick with emotion.

Shinji turned to look at the blonde scientist, concerned that something was wrong. "Yes Ritsuko-san?" His eyes widened as he witnessed a glistening trail of tears streaking down her normally composed face.

Dabbing her eyes with a tissue, Ritsuko smiled at the boy. "I think I understand what Misato is always talking about." With great care, Ritsuko leant over and kissed him on the cheek.

Shinji sat there, motionless, silent and unsure of what to do or say in such a situation. The only sign that he was still alive was the sound of his breathing and the rising colour in his face.

Having regained her composure, Ritsuko stood up and straightened her dress. "Don't worry about it Shinji-kun. Let's just get Misato home before she decides to throw up all over you." Her casual smile returned him to his senses.

Shinji slowly managed to get Misato to her feet. "You mean again." He smiled.

Ritsuko's laughter was practically infectious, prompting Shinji to join her. <If only I had met someone like you before 'Him'. > She thought as they continued their way home.

Stepping out from the shadows, Ryouji Kaji watched the trio depart. "Sorry for leaving Katsuragi in your hands like this Shinji-kun." His eyes flashed, the pilfered security access card spinning in his fingers. "But I still have things to do."

***

Terminal Dogma

Having completed the transfer of thoughts and memories into the Dummy System, Rei finished her shower; glad to be wearing Shinji's clothes once again. While she knew that it was irrational, his clothes were comforting and provided a sense of emotional warmth as well as physical. Stepping out into the corridor, Rei found Gendou waiting patiently.

"Will your absence be noticed Rei?" Gendou inquired.

Walking beside the Commander, Rei answered his question. "No Sir. Shinji-kun is accompanying both Doctor Akagi and Major Katsuragi to their mutual friend's reception. They will undoubtedly be returning soon though."

"I see." Swiping his card through the security lock, Gendou entered the elevator first, closely followed by Rei.

Inside the lift, Rei turned towards the man that had raised her and who was, for all intents and purposes, her father. "Commander Ikari?" She asked.

"Yes Rei?" Gendou answered, his eyes shifting slightly to look down at the girl beside him.

Unable to maintain eye contact, Rei's eyes lowered to gaze at the floor. "Did Shinji-kun often suffer from bad dreams as a child?"

"I would not know. I had other concerns." Gendou resisted the urge to smile. Everything was proceeding as he had planned. <Soon.> He mused. <Very soon you will see the folly of your decision.>

"He often wakes up screaming. Yet he refuses to discuss the content or cause of the dreams." It distressed her. Even when Shinji did not wake screaming, she often found him trembling during the night, unable to fall back to sleep.

Gendou's eyes narrowed briefly. "Do not allow it to distract you from your duty Rei." He advised coldly. Once the lift slowed and finally stopped, he stepped out through the doors and made his way back towards his office.

Rei watched him leave. "Understood Commander. Good night." Turning in the opposite direction, Rei departed NERV, heading for home to await Shinji's eventual return.

Once inside his office, Gendou locked the door and retrieved a photo from his desk. Placing the frame on the desktop, he folded his hands in front of his face and stared at the image. His dark eyes burning with passion and rage at the memories that constantly plagued his every waking moment.

"Necessity has determined my decisions. I do not regret the path I have chosen."

***

End Eleventh Refrain

Proof Read and Pre-Read by Tian Xu otherwise known as SuPeRnOvA145.

Tbc

Authors Post-Rant -

As discussed before, Ritsuko isn't falling for Shinji as such.

In the next instalment, more of Gendou's true intentions become known with the selection of the Fourth Children.

As always, post your reviews here at FFN (Or where ever you find this).

Any other comments, thoughts etc are welcome at -

otaku_dman@yahoo.com.au.

Ja Ne