Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Angels of Armageddon ❯ Chapter 2: "Rebuilding" ( Chapter 2 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: otakusadist 
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Drama / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.29.2001 | Pages: 12 | Words: 6.6K | Visits: 563 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Drama / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.29.2001 | Pages: 12 | Words: 6.6K | Visits: 563 | Status: Completed
DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to
them.
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" " = speech
^ ^ = thoughts
_ _ = italics
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Angels of Armageddon
Author: Ryan Xavier
Chapter 2: Rebuilding
Rei awoke early the next morning. She shifted uncomfortably for a
moment as consciousness returned, then sat up quickly.
Judging from the light, it was about 6:00. Rei knew it would be
_exactly_ 6:00, since that was the time she always woke up. She got to
her feet and brushed the dirt off of her clothes.
Around the encampment, many people were already moving. It seemed an
apocalypse had made many people early risers. Rei's eyes scanned the
camp, taking in who was awake and filing the data away in case it was
important. As a cold morning breeze whisked across the ground, Rei
shivered, momentarily.
It was then that it finally dawned on her: what was she supposed to do?
The Angels were gone. The Evas were gone. The Commander was gone.
Third Impact had come. What was her purpose?
She'd never thought about it, until just now. Because until yesterday,
her purpose had been simple: find human habitation. ^And Ikari-kun,^
her subconscious added. She silenced that voice sharply.
But now...here she was. What now?
At a loss for an answer to this question, she started walking. She
didn't know what she was looking for. Anyone who could give her an
idea of what to do.
^I may have to set my own goals,^ she thought. But that concept was so
foreign to her that she could barely even ponder it. True, she could
take independent action, but...developing a new reason to stay alive?
She'd never done that before.
She still received the stares from people who got a good look at her
face. She ignored them, just as she always had. The attention of
others was not significant.
She stopped at the concrete shanty she'd eaten with Ikari-kun and the
others yesterday. That was Ikari-kun's domicile, if she remembered
correctly. And he _was_ the leader, according to Soryu...
Rei's footsteps stopped. Images from yesterday flashed through her
mind. Ikari-kun and Soryu...that one image of him kissing her refused
to leave her brain, once it got stuck there.
^Do I want to see him?^ Rei thought. ^What's this feeling? Betrayal?
Why do I feel that?^
Her feet started moving again, as though of their own accord. She took
the next few steps, up to the entrance of the shanty. Rei made herself
look inside.
Inside was Shinji, resting on a blanket, with another blanket over him.
His back was to her, but Rei could still see that there was someone
else there. Just a few red hairs were enough to tell Rei who it was.
Rei turned around and walked back the way she'd come. Her steps didn't
appear hurried, but she moved much faster than she normally did. In
moments, she was back at the place where she'd slept.
The exertion of walking the length of the camp had accelerated her
heart somewhat, but she kept her breathing even and face
expressionless. But she had already concluded that going to Ikari-kun
for orders was out of the question.
She saw footsteps leading away from the other blanket. Rei followed
them, knowing who they belonged to. In a few minutes, she'd come
around a large chunk of rubble just outside the camp, giving her a
clear view of Kaoru.
The boy was sitting on another rock, one leg hanging lazily off the
edge, and the other curled up against his torso. He was looking out on
the sea of LCL, which, although rather distant from where they were,
was still quite visible. The sun reflected off of the fluid, making it
glow almost golden. Rei glanced at the view, entirely unaffected, then
looked back up at Kaoru.
"Waiting for me?" the boy asked, without looking at her.
"I followed you. I am interested in what you are doing."
"Interested? You?" he asked, looking down at her, now.
Rei nodded. "We both had a singular purpose, which is now entirely
moot. You do not seem bothered, but I am...troubled by the concept.
Do you know what we are supposed to do?"
"Survive," Kaoru commented offhandedly, looking back to the LCL. "Just
survive, I suppose. It's better than giving up."
Rei blinked in response.
"Not the kind of answer you were looking for, I suppose," Kaoru said,
jumping down to the ground. "I suppose we can start by putting
together a more permanent home."
"Home?" Rei asked. She understood the word and its connotations, but
she'd never had a place she really called 'home.' Her apartment had
just been a place to sleep and shower. NERV had been her job. There
wasn't a place she'd felt 'at home' in.
"Of course," Kaoru said. "Here, eat something. We've got a big day
ahead of us." At this, he gestured to a few rolls and a pot of the
stew they'd eaten yesterday. "I've had breakfast already."
Rei sat down wordlessly, and started eating as gracefully as she could.
Kaoru, meanwhile, kept talking.
"To start, we should at least get a roof up, to protect us in case it
rains."
Rei nodded. _That_ was something she could readily understand.
She glanced around as she chewed on some bread. All around them was
rubble and dirt, nothing more.
She swallowed what was in her mouth. "We could probably find useable
building materials in the city," she said. "Not all of it could have
been destroyed."
"Maybe," Kaoru said, shrugging. "But every building over there's just
waiting to fall down." He punctuated this by tilting his head towards
the decimated remains of Tokyo-2. "It would almost be safer just to
sleep out in the rain."
"What do you suggest, then?" Rei asked, taking a sip of the stew. A
normal person would have sounded exasperated, but Rei was as calm as
ever. What Kaoru had said made sense.
"We could start smaller," Kaoru said, looking up. "Say, with this
rock."
Rei looked at it. The rock he'd pointed out was the size of a house.
"We would need equipment we do not have."
"If we were conventional, yes," Kaoru said, running his hand over the
rock's surface. "Power tools, explosives, acids, or even a simple
hammer and chisel, to get anywhere...but we have none of that."
Rei just met his gaze for a response.
"I don't suppose you could use an AT field to move it?" he asked,
looking back to the stone.
Rei blinked, and then swallowed again. Her gaze flickered up to the
rock. Her eyes hardened, as though trying to bore through it with
intensity alone. Through it all, her face remained blank. Kaoru just
watched, a hint of a smile on his face.
"I cannot do it," Rei said, looking back at him. "My AT field is no
longer strong enough."
"I have the same problem," Kaoru said. "I've tried it already.
Projecting the field always came so naturally to me, I saw no reason
why it should be so difficult now."
"Perhaps you are no longer an Angel."
Kaoru sighed. "Perhaps. I can still tell that I'm derived from Adam,
and you from Lillith. But it's dull, now. Like a memory instead of an
actual perception."
Rei nodded in agreement, taking another bite to give her time to choose
her words.
"It may be a mental block," she said, carefully. "You may
subconsciously no longer want to be an Angel."
"And why that, Rei?" Kaoru asked. His voice implied that he already
knew the answer, but he still looked like he was expecting a response.
"You were spurned by Ikari-kun for being what you were. He made
himself hate you, so that he could kill you. You may want to be an
ordinary human, so that he will no longer see you that way."
"Well put," Kaoru replied. "But I think it's something more. I
believe I truly am no longer a full Angel. It's true, I guess...only
one life form can survive Third Impact."
Rei blinked, then turned away, not saying anything. "So we're in the
same boat," he said, more to himself than her.
"We'll need stronger tools than just our hands, it seems," Kaoru said,
raising his voice so she could hear him again. "AT fields won't work,
and we just aren't strong enough to move this alone."
"We could get help from the other survivors," Rei suggested. "Many
people working together could possibly change this stone," she said,
facing the rock surface again.
"But neither you or I want to do that. We both know they fear us."
"..."
"It'd be best if we just procured the right tools and did this
ourselves."
"What do you suggest, Kaoru-san?"
The boy grinned again and looked back out at the LCL. "I've been out
here long enough to see a few things..." he said, ambiguously. "There
may yet be something we could use."
***
Rei had always been a good swimmer. She came by it naturally; her form
moved smoothly through water, rapid yet graceful. She normally just
swam for exercise. But this time, she was doing it for travel.
It was a new experience, swimming to get somewhere for once. Normally,
when she had a destination in mind, she'd walked. But in this case,
the only way to get where she was going was to swim through the LCL.
Kaoru was right behind her, his style not as graceful as Rei's, but
still admirable. He cut through the LCL at a fair pace, managing to
keep up with Rei.
They'd been swimming for some time already. First, they'd had to walk
to the beach. There, they'd both given up their shoes and socks. Rei
had also removed her skirt, since it would just absorb LCL and slow her
down. And for the past half-hour, they'd been swimming in a straight
line.
After another fifteen minutes, they'd reached their destination. Rei
shifted her position and floated in place. She looked up. Before them
stood the huge, petrified form of an Eva.
It had once been a mass-production Eva, that much she could tell from
its shape. It was also impaled, a copy of the Lancea Longinus having
been rammed clear through its body. Rei remembered seeing the MP Evas
do that. She hadn't even had to order them; the Dummy plugs inside had
known it was necessary for SEELE's version of Third Impact.
She looked up at its head, almost nervous. The MP Evas had begun to
copy her form as Third Impact progressed, resulting in nine copies of
her own face being plastered onto the hideous bodies of the mecha.
But...it seemed she didn't have to worry about seeing her own face
contorted in pain. If that face had ever been there, it had long since
decayed; the Eva's head was missing, leaving only a truncated neck.
"Still standing, it seems," Kaoru commented, coming up to it. He
climbed up onto its leg. Rei did likewise, coming up next to him. The
Eva, stuck in a kneeling position, proved fairly easy to climb.
They started moving up, towards it shoulders. They both noticed that
the Eva was indeed petrified; its once organic body had been frozen
into some kind of stone. Third Impact had rendered it utterly useless.
They got to its shoulders, which were nearly horizontal, and quite
broad. There was enough space for them both to stand up.
Rei paced, observing the condition of the Eva. "It seems doubtful that
we can use this," she said. "Even if it were not in its current state,
it is heavily damaged. This arm has almost been severed."
"Yes, and the wings look like they're broken, too," Kaoru said, looking
elsewhere. "And as you said, that's even if it wasn't how it is."
"It is utterly useless," Rei said. "And the other Evangelions of this
model will be in similar condition."
"What about the other one? Is Unit-02 useable?"
"It was destroyed," Rei responded, simply.
"Hm," Kaoru said. He knelt down and put one hand on the hard surface.
"If only the Eva were alive, I could control it. Even the damage would
be reparable, given time." He brought his hand up to his face and
sniffed at his fingers. "Amazing."
Rei also scraped at the Eva's body, feeling its surface crumble to
pebbles underneath her fingers. She sensed what Kaoru did: the "rock"
was a combination of material from Adam and Lillith. When the Eva had
gone to its final form, Lillith samples contained within the Dummy plug
had been allowed to merge with the Eva itself, thus giving it the
ability to project an Anti-AT field. But in causing Third Impact, the
Eva had used itself up, leaving only this.
Rei let out a small sigh. The Eva was much like her and Kaoru, and not
just by genes. It had been a tool, something to be used and then
discarded once its purpose had been achieved. And now, it had nothing
left to do but sit and slowly decay.
"There has to be a way to reactivate it," Kaoru said, standing back up
and putting his hands in his pockets. "All we really need to do is
separate Adam from Lillith in its body."
Rei thought it over, still kneeling on the surface. "It would be
nearly impossible, even if we had NERV's facilities."
"But if it could be done, then it could be undone. It's just a
question of how difficult it is. Do you have any ideas?"
"...I may. The entry plug is the control center for the Eva. It can
control every aspect of the Eva, if the pilot is synchronized highly
enough."
"But the control center for this Eva was a Dummy plug. A computer."
"It was based on me. And the production model this one holds also has
a cloned body of me. I believe that body was dissolved and used as
Lillith DNA to merge with the Eva itself."
"You have an idea?"
"If I can somehow contact the Dummy plug, I may be able to make it work
again, since its mind is a copy of mine."
Kaoru sat down and crossed his legs in front of him. He held his chin
in one hand as he looked over the massive back of the machine.
"Perhaps I can help," he said. "The Eva's body was originally made
from Adam..." with that, he looked intensely at the surface. After
another minute, he closed his eyes, his body shaking with
concentration.
As Rei watched, a small patch - no larger than a coin - shifted colors.
It was almost like watching a staticky TV image slowly clear. But as
Rei watched, the grey stone became the white flesh of an Eva.
"I can...only do it for a small part...can you...can you do something,
Rei?"
Rei said nothing, just knelt down. She reached out and put her hand on
the patch Kaoru was trying to return to life. She closed her own eyes
and took command of her AT field again. It wasn't much - not nearly
the control she'd had back before Impact - but she could still manage
to reach out to the Eva's mind.
With a quickness that sent a shiver down her spine, Rei felt her mind
link to the Eva. She was synched with it, from the outside, something
only a being such as herself could manage.
But instead of the warm, protected feeling that came from linking minds
with an Eva, she felt cold and alone. She felt the Eva's useless,
frozen limbs. Even its soul was asleep, encased deep within its core.
Rei concentrated and reached out to the soul, forcing it awake. A
brief warmth flew thorugh her as the core re-awakened, energizing the
Eva.
But it was only a moment. Just as she felt the Eva's soul begin to
awake, she was pulled forcefully from her synchronization, and left
gasping on the surface.
She looked over, to see Kaoru hunched over, clutching his knees. He
was also breathing hard.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I couldn't do it any longer."
"It may have been enough," Rei said. "I felt its soul begin to awaken.
Now if it only stays awake, it may be able to work the Eva's S2 organ
and repair the damage."
"Damage...is a weak word for it..." Kaoru gasped out. He turned and
lay down on his back, looking up at the sky.
Rei was also tired. But she refrained from lying down, since at that
moment she heard a noise coming from down below.
She walked over to the edge. Paying no heed to the dangers of standing
on the edge of the Eva's body, she looked down, towards the noise.
Soon, she understood what it was.
"It worked," she said, not turning from her position. "The Eva is
drawing in LCL from the sea. It's using it as spare material for its
reconstruction."
Kaoru smiled from where he lay. "Good," he said. "I'd hate...to have
done that...for nothing."
Rei nodded. A small smile appeared on her face, as well. "It will
take time for the Eva to regrow, but it should still be done soon."
"You just had to give it the will to return."
"I suppose so."
Their efforts had exhausted the both of them. Without another word
passing between them, Rei and Kaoru lay down, and fell asleep on the
Eva's back.
For some time, they just lay there, breathing evenly, their faces calm
and almost peaceful. But then, as the Eva continued drawing in LCL
from the sea around it, the massive form shifted, slightly. With this
shift, Rei rolled over onto her left side. She appeared to continue
sleeping, as normal. But, even as she lay there, her left arm sank
downwards, into the Eva's body.
And with that, her eyes began flickering back and forth under her
eyelids, as she began to do something she'd never done before: dream.
***
"Why?"
Rei glanced about, in the darkness that surrounded her. It was very
much like her existence before, in the sea of LCL. But she was somehow
aware that this was not the case.
"Why?" the voice asked again. It sounded familiar, but every time Rei
came close to identifying the speaker, the name slipped away.
"What do you mean?" Rei asked.
"Why did you make me return?"
"What are you?"
"I did not want to return. I am nothing. A simulacrum, a doll. I am
one of many, and easily replaceable. I do not wish to live."
Rei pondered what the voice had just said. It sounded vaguely
familiar. "Who are you?" she asked.
She felt a presence behind her, and turned around. Behind her was more
darkness, but also two red spots, only vaguely discernible.
"...I am Eva," the voice replied, quietly. "Both its pilot and its
soul."
"You...a Dummy plug?" Rei asked, incredulous. This was impossible.
Dummy plugs didn't have thoughts or cares of their own. They were
computers, nothing more.
"That is what I am known as. I am a shadow, a copy of you, Rei
Ayanami. But I cannot be you."
"You should not exist in this form. You cannot have thoughts of your
own."
"I was not supposed to. I was made to follow orders exactly, to kill
myself when necessary. Yet...I can still think. Though it could not
change what I am. A creation, made solely to pilot Eva."
A memory ran through Rei's mind, as it clicked. She remembered that
the prototype Dummy plug had indeed just been a computer, small enough
to fit into Unit-01's entry plug. But the production models had been
more complex, using a spare Rei body to hold the memories and battle
experience. And Rei remembered reading a report that they were
considering putting artificial souls in the Dummy plugs, to increase
their combat effectiveness. Apparently that had been done in the case
of the Mass Production Evas.
"And you wished to remain dead," Rei concluded.
"I waited, hoping the order for my death would come soon. And now you
have violated that desire. You, the original one of us."
"Death solves nothing," Rei responded, her voice _almost_ angry. "I
felt the same way, at a time. It was my purpose to die. I have died
and returned three times, now. And each time, it seems there was
always something more for me to do. If I had remained dead, I would
not have done as much as I have."
"But your reason for coming back was to achieve your end purpose. I
have your memories, and I know what you speak of. What are we to do,
now that our purpose has been completed? There is no reason for us to
remain alive."
"You need to find a reason to live," Rei responded. An image of Shinji
flashed in her mind, but she put it aside, though not without some
considerable effort. "Death is oblivion. It should not be embraced.
And...for us...it does not even seem an option. You were ordered to
die, yet your soul and mind still live. As do mine."
The Dummy plug remained silent for some time. "I do not understand,"
it finally said.
"Because you are made for battle, and not living," Rei responded. She
silenced the voice in her head that was asking how she was all that
different. "But if you have a soul, you must have desires."
"They are nothing more than copies, inadequate clones of your own
thoughts. The only desire I know to be mine and mine alone is my wish
to die."
"You cannot reject what you are. Your desires may be copies of my own,
but they are still yours."
There was another long silence. "There are so many. I hate this body.
I hate the Eva I am within. It is a monster, a machine made to kill."
"You are its controller," Rei said. "You must realize what I have.
Your commanders are gone, with your purpose acheived. But since you
still live, you must set your own priorities."
"..."
"If you hate the Eva, then change it to your desires. You know it's
within your power."
"..."
Rei got the sensation of being pulled away. She tried to fight it, but
it was worthless. The red eyes of the Dummy plug vanished into the
darkness, as she awoke.
***
Outside, Rei winced unconsciously as her arm was pushed out of the
Eva's back. Once she was separated from it completely, she opened her
eyes, awakening.
At the same time, Kaoru's eyes opened. He looked back and forth, then
sat up quickly, so fast that the blood couldn't make it to his head
quick enough, and he was left dizzy.
Rei got up more carefully. She looked down, at the surface of the
Eva's back. She immediately noticed that the color had changed; it was
no longer the gray of a petrified Eva. Instead, it was a brilliant
blue.
"Seems we missed a few things," Kaoru said offhandedly, standing up and
looking down at the mecha. "The coloration...but its body, too..."
Rei got up and took a closer look. Sure enough, the damage from the
Eva's last battle had all but vanished. The bulge on its back that its
wings had retracted into had disappeared, and instead it sported the
long shoulder flanges of NERV's Evas. In addition, it had grown a head
while they slept. It was covered in blue armor, just as the rest of
the Eva now was. The head could in no way be mistaken for human,
having no nose or mouth to speak of, and only one large eye in the
middle of its face.
"I believe I remember this model," Kaoru said, absentmindedly fingering
the scar on his neck.
"Unit-00," Rei completed for him. The Eva I was assigned to pilot."
^Interesting...^ she thought to herself. ^The Dummy plug hated the
Mass Production form, so it made it into the Eva I used.^
Kaoru was looking around quickly, admiring the new growth. "Not
exactly like Unit-00," he said, hanging onto one side of the head and
peeking around to get a better look at the face. "It still has the S2
organ imbedded in its core. Look, there's no port for an umbilical
cable."
Rei confirmed what he saw. No socket for external power suggested that
the Eva was able to move under its own power; something Unit-00 had
never been able to do for more than the five-minute lifespan of its
batteries.
"Can you control it, Kaoru-san?" Rei asked.
"Hm..." Kaoru said, looking down. "Its core is still joined with the
Lancea imbedded in it. It will be an effort, but...I won't know until
I try, eh, Rei?" He threw a smile at the girl. Rei just stared at him
blankly.
"...right," Kaoru said. He ceremoniously cracked his knuckles. "Let's
see what I can do, now."
***
Shinji looked back over the sea of LCL for the fiftieth time that day.
Shaking his head, he went back to work. He and ten other people were
trying to roll a sport-utility-vehicle back onto its wheels. The
vehicle had been toppled onto its roof by the chaos of Third Impact,
but it looked like it might still work. Now they just had to get it
right-side up...
It took a lot of effort and a considerable amount of swearing, but they
eventually got the heavy vehicle levered up into position. The men who
knew something about vehicles immediately swarmed over the truck,
trying to see if it was still in working order. Shinji, for his part,
walked a few meters away and plopped down on the ground.
^You think starting over will be hard,^ he thought, ^And then you get
to it, and it isn't just hard, it's nearly _impossible_. This is going
to take forever.^
Thoughts of his own mortality went through his mind for a moment. This
was going slowly, very slowly. Humanity was returning and picking up
the pieces, but there were still no guarantees it would survive. And
even if it did, Shinji knew he probably wouldn't live long enough to
see it return to what he remembered it as. They truly were starting
over from scratch.
He again looked back to the sea of LCL, focusing on a shape in the
distance. He squinted, trying to get a better look, then shook his
head again. "Nah, couldn't be," he said to himself.
"What couldn't?" Asuka asked, walking up to him. She was dressed in a
sleeveless tee-shirt and loose pants, and looked like she'd been hard
at work, as well.
Shinji sat up, meeting her gaze. "Nothing," he said. "I'm just tired,
and I'm seeing things."
"Well, come on, baka," Asuka said, helping him to his feet. "I'm
hungry."
Shinji smiled and followed her over to where a few people were eating
lunch. It was mostly stew, i.e. 'whatever we could find lying around,
thrown together in a pot and boiled'. He hoped it wouldn't make him
sick, though that had been known to happen.
Asuka handed him a cup of the stuff, and they sat down next to each
other. As soon as they sat down, though, they were barraged with
questions on all sides. People came to talk with them about getting
food for the rest of the camp, setting up housing, and hundreds of
other things.
After about twenty minutes of nonstop requests for instructions on what
to do, Asuka had had it. She stood up and stomped her foot down,
silencing everyone nearby.
"Alright, everyone, just SHUT UP!" she ordered at the top of her lungs.
"Give me and Shinji-chan a _minute_ just to breathe!"
Most people bowed to her and left immediately. The others followed,
muttering about "Shinji-chan," and other things best not said out loud.
Asuka sat back down. "I can't stand it. These people don't want to
think for themselves, anymore."
Shinji put his arm around her. Time to calm the German fireball, just
like he did almost every day. He had it down to nearly a science, now.
"Thank you," he said, looking down into her eyes. "You know how to
handle people."
"I just needed a minute of quiet," Asuka said, her voice now at normal
tones.
"Yeah. But these people are just scared and lost. They don't know
what to do with themselves."
"It's annoying," she said, looking back to the encampment. But...it's
worth it, isn't it?" With that, she looked back up at him.
Shinji lightly kissed her on the lips. "Yeah, it is," he said. He put
his other arm around her.
Asuka sighed and relaxed, a little. A moment of silence passed between
the two.
"What do you think happened to Ayanami and Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked,
maintaining his hold on her.
Asuka frowned. "I don't know," she said, keeping her voice quiet. "I
saw them walking off this morning." She took a moment to remember just
_where_ she'd seen them walking off. "Do...you think they quit?" she
asked.
Shinji shook his head. "Some people just give up and kill themselves,
but not them. They're stronger than that. They were Eva pilots, like
us."
"I guess," Asuka said, unsure.
"But I just wish I knew where they'd gone. They probably both still
need to rest."
"They'll be fine," Asuka said, trying to reassure herself as much as
Shinji. "And you're not eating," she added on, playfully.
"Yeah..." Shinji said, letting go of her and going back to drinking
down the stew. ^She's got me following her orders, just like everyone
else. I can live with that, though.^
Asuka smiled, watching him. She was about to go back to eating her own
lunch when she stiffened, a chill running down her spine. Shinji
reacted the same way, at the same time.
They looked at each other. "What was that?" Asuka asked.
Shinji swallowed and shook his head. He wasn't sure what it was, but
it had made his stomach turn.
It was then that he saw it, highlighted by the setting sun.
"No...impossible..." Shinji muttered. He carefully set his cup down on
the ground, trying his best not to spill any. Food was too important
to waste, even if you were currently too scared to even think.
He stood up and raised up one hand to protect his eyes from the light.
Asuka stood and followed his gaze. When she saw it, she also locked
up.
It was what Shinji had been looking at all day. Earlier that morning,
he'd seen two shapes swimming out into the LCL. Then, he thought he'd
seen two people climbing up the MP Eva sitting out there. He hadn't
thought anything of it; maybe someone was just curious. Not everyone
here had seen an Eva, before.
But then, he'd seen the Eva begin to change. It had been very gradual.
When he looked right at it, it seemed to be sitting there, just like it
always had. But when he left to do some work and then came back, the
Eva's outline had definitely changed, if only just enough to be
noticeable. It had been like that all day.
And now...the Eva was moving.
They were both frozen to the ground, watching it. People saw them and
wondered what was wrong, but they were all too scared of getting yelled
at again to try asking.
Asuka and Shinji watched, mortified, as the Eva's arms slowly extended,
pulling the copy of the Lancea Longinus out of its chest. The weapon
emerged, and then the Eva sagged, as though the exertion had depleted
it. Asuka and Shinji both prayed it would stop moving.
But it didn't. Instead, it stood up, slowly and unsteadily. Its hands
clenched on the Lancea copy. The weapon, old and depleted, crumbled to
dust under the grip.
The Eva looked down, almost confused as to why its weapon would have
dissolved like that. But then...it began to walk, trudging through the
LCL like a man walking through a swamp.
Shinji reacted first. He backed off, forcing himself to blink and tear
his eyes off of that thing.
"Everyone, drop what you're doing!" he shouted. "There's an
emergency!"
Many people looked up at his voice, then looked out to the LCL. Now,
more and more of them noticed the Eva walking towards the camp. There
was a brief silence. Then, pandemonium ensued.
Screams echoed throughout the camp, as people rushed around, trying to
find their loved ones and get together their few valuables.
"Asuka, come on!" Shinji said, grabbing her wrist.
Asuka resisted. Long hours of work had developed Shinji's muscles, but
Asuka was no weakling, herself. She was able to keep herself in place.
"Asuka, what're you doing?!" he asked. "Don't you know what that is?"
"But...but look at it," Asuka said, gesturing at the Eva. "It looks
like Unit-00. And...are there people riding on it? I think there
are..."
Shinji looked back, taking a second look. He recognized Unit-00's
distinctive shape, which left him confused, since he knew what had
happened to Unit-00. And, on one of its shoulders...
"Kaoru-kun?" he asked. "No, you wouldn't...not again...please, Kaoru-
kun..."
People gathered around behind them, asking what they should do. Asuka
and Shinji ignored them.
Asuka started walking towards the Eva. Shinji reached out to stop her,
but then reconsidered. Instead, he found himself following her.
^No more running away,^ he thought to himself. ^I'm the leader,
so...I've got to meet this thing head-on. But damn, I sure wish I had
an Eva of my own...^
They reached the coastline just as the Eva started coming up out of the
LCL. Shinji looked at the shape on its other shoulder, and blinked.
He hadn't wanted to believe it, when he'd seen it, but now, there was
no denying who it was.
"Ayanami?" he called out. "What are you doing?"
"Don't worry, Shinji-kun," Kaoru called out, raising his voice just
enough to be heard. "We're just doing our parts."
With that, the Eva's huge right foot came out of the LCL and hit dry
land. The earth shook with the impact, and a cloud of dust rose up.
The Eva's left foot followed soon after.
Kaoru glanced over at the Eva's head, and its hands raised up to its
shoulders. He and Rei stepped onto its palms, and were lowered to the
ground. Rei kept her withdrawn attitude, while Kaoru put his hands in
his pockets and smiled.
"Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked, walking up, with Asuka not far behind.
Kaoru nodded. "Rei and I thought it would be useful to have some
heavier equipment," he said, glancing over at Rei. Rei, for her part,
looked at Shinji, standing close to Asuka, and sniffed, turning her
head away.
Shinji looked over at Rei, then back to Kaoru. "But...an _Eva_?
That's something we're all trying to forget about."
"You said everyone has to do their part," Kaoru said, moving to stand
next to Shinji. They both looked up at the huge mecha. "And I was
just doing what I know I can do well."
Asuka spoke up. "You're controlling it, right?"
Kaoru nodded.
"Good," Asuka replied. Then, her face brightened as a sudden thought
hit her. "Uh...hey, Shinji-chan, wouldn't Akagi want to see this one?"
Shinji looked at her, realizing it for himself. "Actually..._yeah_,
she would. Kaoru, can you bring this thing closer to the camp?"
"Why yes, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said. He stepped back onto the Eva's hand
and getting raised to its shoulder again. Rei tried to do likewise,
but the Eva had already raised itself back up to its full height.
"Kaoru-san," Rei said. "I am still down here."
"I know," Kaoru replied. "You go back with Shinji-kun. I'll follow
along." He winked at Rei from his position. Rei turned away, looking
back to Shinji, who had put his arm around Asuka's waist, trying to
reassure her. She resisted the urge to scowl.
"Very well," she replied. She immediately began walking towards the
camp. She walked by Shinji and Asuka, who kept looking at the Eva,
still dumbfounded. But when Shinji and Asuka snapped out of it, they
turned and ran to catch up to the blue-haired girl.
"Ayanami!" Shinji called out. "Wait up!"
Rei did not slow down, nor did she speed up. She could tell by their
footsteps that they were moving fast enough to catch up to her. That,
they did, Shinji coming up on her right side, and Asuka on her left.
They both took a moment to catch their breath, but since they hadn't
run for very long, they weren't even breathing hard.
"So..." Shinji began. "Whose idea was it?"
"Kaoru-san's," Rei responded, curtly.
They turned as they heard Eva-00's thunderous footsteps. The mecha was
moving slowly, but surely, towards the camp. Shinji and Asuka still
looked a little shocked by the machine's appearance.
"Well, we got to thank that kid, I guess," Asuka said. "We could
probably get a lot of use out of an Eva."
"I'm waiting until Akagi looks at it," Shinji said.
"Baka. What's she gonna be able to do, anyway?" she asked, batting his
arm. "It's not like she's got NERV backing her up anymore."
"I guess."
"So Akagi-san has returned?" Rei asked, breaking off this line of
conversation.
"...yeah," Shinji said. "Just a few weeks ago. She's still the same
ol' Ritsuko-san."
^...who wanted nothing more than my death,^ Rei mentally added.
As they neared the camp, Rei turned and walked towards the Eva, which
had stopped not far from where they were.
"Send Akagi-san out to meet us," Rei called out to the other two. On
hearing them agree, she continued walking.
^Life is just a return to pain,^ she couldn't help thinking. ^An
Eva...I guess I wanted to forget about them, too. But it seems we
can't leave our pasts behind. Even I, who have no past.^
She looked back, to see Shinji and Asuka's silhouettes vanish into one
of the shanty houses. ^I wonder how it started between them...no, I
can't think of those things. It'll just hurt.^
Rei got to the foot of the Eva and stopped, crossing her arms behind
her back and turning around to keep a lookout for Akagi. ^I might have
chosen real pain over false pleasure, but I still want to avoid being
hurt.^
Unfortunately, her mind kept wandering. How _had_ it started between
Shinji-kun and Soryu? She wanted to know, no matter how much she
wanted to deny it. She wanted this Eva to disappear, no matter how
important she knew it would be to the recovery effort. She wanted...
^So many things I want that I can't have,^ Rei thought. ^I'm just a
fool.^
----------------------------------------------------- -----------------
Endnote: Well, that's what I have so far. These first two chapters
are really just a teaser, to see what kind of response I get for this
new fic. So write me and tell me what you think.
----------------------------------------------------------- -----------
Started: March 15, 2001
Ended: April 7, 2001
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to
them.
----------------------------------------------------- ------------------
" " = speech
^ ^ = thoughts
_ _ = italics
---------------------------------------------------------- -------------
Angels of Armageddon
Author: Ryan Xavier
Chapter 2: Rebuilding
Rei awoke early the next morning. She shifted uncomfortably for a
moment as consciousness returned, then sat up quickly.
Judging from the light, it was about 6:00. Rei knew it would be
_exactly_ 6:00, since that was the time she always woke up. She got to
her feet and brushed the dirt off of her clothes.
Around the encampment, many people were already moving. It seemed an
apocalypse had made many people early risers. Rei's eyes scanned the
camp, taking in who was awake and filing the data away in case it was
important. As a cold morning breeze whisked across the ground, Rei
shivered, momentarily.
It was then that it finally dawned on her: what was she supposed to do?
The Angels were gone. The Evas were gone. The Commander was gone.
Third Impact had come. What was her purpose?
She'd never thought about it, until just now. Because until yesterday,
her purpose had been simple: find human habitation. ^And Ikari-kun,^
her subconscious added. She silenced that voice sharply.
But now...here she was. What now?
At a loss for an answer to this question, she started walking. She
didn't know what she was looking for. Anyone who could give her an
idea of what to do.
^I may have to set my own goals,^ she thought. But that concept was so
foreign to her that she could barely even ponder it. True, she could
take independent action, but...developing a new reason to stay alive?
She'd never done that before.
She still received the stares from people who got a good look at her
face. She ignored them, just as she always had. The attention of
others was not significant.
She stopped at the concrete shanty she'd eaten with Ikari-kun and the
others yesterday. That was Ikari-kun's domicile, if she remembered
correctly. And he _was_ the leader, according to Soryu...
Rei's footsteps stopped. Images from yesterday flashed through her
mind. Ikari-kun and Soryu...that one image of him kissing her refused
to leave her brain, once it got stuck there.
^Do I want to see him?^ Rei thought. ^What's this feeling? Betrayal?
Why do I feel that?^
Her feet started moving again, as though of their own accord. She took
the next few steps, up to the entrance of the shanty. Rei made herself
look inside.
Inside was Shinji, resting on a blanket, with another blanket over him.
His back was to her, but Rei could still see that there was someone
else there. Just a few red hairs were enough to tell Rei who it was.
Rei turned around and walked back the way she'd come. Her steps didn't
appear hurried, but she moved much faster than she normally did. In
moments, she was back at the place where she'd slept.
The exertion of walking the length of the camp had accelerated her
heart somewhat, but she kept her breathing even and face
expressionless. But she had already concluded that going to Ikari-kun
for orders was out of the question.
She saw footsteps leading away from the other blanket. Rei followed
them, knowing who they belonged to. In a few minutes, she'd come
around a large chunk of rubble just outside the camp, giving her a
clear view of Kaoru.
The boy was sitting on another rock, one leg hanging lazily off the
edge, and the other curled up against his torso. He was looking out on
the sea of LCL, which, although rather distant from where they were,
was still quite visible. The sun reflected off of the fluid, making it
glow almost golden. Rei glanced at the view, entirely unaffected, then
looked back up at Kaoru.
"Waiting for me?" the boy asked, without looking at her.
"I followed you. I am interested in what you are doing."
"Interested? You?" he asked, looking down at her, now.
Rei nodded. "We both had a singular purpose, which is now entirely
moot. You do not seem bothered, but I am...troubled by the concept.
Do you know what we are supposed to do?"
"Survive," Kaoru commented offhandedly, looking back to the LCL. "Just
survive, I suppose. It's better than giving up."
Rei blinked in response.
"Not the kind of answer you were looking for, I suppose," Kaoru said,
jumping down to the ground. "I suppose we can start by putting
together a more permanent home."
"Home?" Rei asked. She understood the word and its connotations, but
she'd never had a place she really called 'home.' Her apartment had
just been a place to sleep and shower. NERV had been her job. There
wasn't a place she'd felt 'at home' in.
"Of course," Kaoru said. "Here, eat something. We've got a big day
ahead of us." At this, he gestured to a few rolls and a pot of the
stew they'd eaten yesterday. "I've had breakfast already."
Rei sat down wordlessly, and started eating as gracefully as she could.
Kaoru, meanwhile, kept talking.
"To start, we should at least get a roof up, to protect us in case it
rains."
Rei nodded. _That_ was something she could readily understand.
She glanced around as she chewed on some bread. All around them was
rubble and dirt, nothing more.
She swallowed what was in her mouth. "We could probably find useable
building materials in the city," she said. "Not all of it could have
been destroyed."
"Maybe," Kaoru said, shrugging. "But every building over there's just
waiting to fall down." He punctuated this by tilting his head towards
the decimated remains of Tokyo-2. "It would almost be safer just to
sleep out in the rain."
"What do you suggest, then?" Rei asked, taking a sip of the stew. A
normal person would have sounded exasperated, but Rei was as calm as
ever. What Kaoru had said made sense.
"We could start smaller," Kaoru said, looking up. "Say, with this
rock."
Rei looked at it. The rock he'd pointed out was the size of a house.
"We would need equipment we do not have."
"If we were conventional, yes," Kaoru said, running his hand over the
rock's surface. "Power tools, explosives, acids, or even a simple
hammer and chisel, to get anywhere...but we have none of that."
Rei just met his gaze for a response.
"I don't suppose you could use an AT field to move it?" he asked,
looking back to the stone.
Rei blinked, and then swallowed again. Her gaze flickered up to the
rock. Her eyes hardened, as though trying to bore through it with
intensity alone. Through it all, her face remained blank. Kaoru just
watched, a hint of a smile on his face.
"I cannot do it," Rei said, looking back at him. "My AT field is no
longer strong enough."
"I have the same problem," Kaoru said. "I've tried it already.
Projecting the field always came so naturally to me, I saw no reason
why it should be so difficult now."
"Perhaps you are no longer an Angel."
Kaoru sighed. "Perhaps. I can still tell that I'm derived from Adam,
and you from Lillith. But it's dull, now. Like a memory instead of an
actual perception."
Rei nodded in agreement, taking another bite to give her time to choose
her words.
"It may be a mental block," she said, carefully. "You may
subconsciously no longer want to be an Angel."
"And why that, Rei?" Kaoru asked. His voice implied that he already
knew the answer, but he still looked like he was expecting a response.
"You were spurned by Ikari-kun for being what you were. He made
himself hate you, so that he could kill you. You may want to be an
ordinary human, so that he will no longer see you that way."
"Well put," Kaoru replied. "But I think it's something more. I
believe I truly am no longer a full Angel. It's true, I guess...only
one life form can survive Third Impact."
Rei blinked, then turned away, not saying anything. "So we're in the
same boat," he said, more to himself than her.
"We'll need stronger tools than just our hands, it seems," Kaoru said,
raising his voice so she could hear him again. "AT fields won't work,
and we just aren't strong enough to move this alone."
"We could get help from the other survivors," Rei suggested. "Many
people working together could possibly change this stone," she said,
facing the rock surface again.
"But neither you or I want to do that. We both know they fear us."
"..."
"It'd be best if we just procured the right tools and did this
ourselves."
"What do you suggest, Kaoru-san?"
The boy grinned again and looked back out at the LCL. "I've been out
here long enough to see a few things..." he said, ambiguously. "There
may yet be something we could use."
***
Rei had always been a good swimmer. She came by it naturally; her form
moved smoothly through water, rapid yet graceful. She normally just
swam for exercise. But this time, she was doing it for travel.
It was a new experience, swimming to get somewhere for once. Normally,
when she had a destination in mind, she'd walked. But in this case,
the only way to get where she was going was to swim through the LCL.
Kaoru was right behind her, his style not as graceful as Rei's, but
still admirable. He cut through the LCL at a fair pace, managing to
keep up with Rei.
They'd been swimming for some time already. First, they'd had to walk
to the beach. There, they'd both given up their shoes and socks. Rei
had also removed her skirt, since it would just absorb LCL and slow her
down. And for the past half-hour, they'd been swimming in a straight
line.
After another fifteen minutes, they'd reached their destination. Rei
shifted her position and floated in place. She looked up. Before them
stood the huge, petrified form of an Eva.
It had once been a mass-production Eva, that much she could tell from
its shape. It was also impaled, a copy of the Lancea Longinus having
been rammed clear through its body. Rei remembered seeing the MP Evas
do that. She hadn't even had to order them; the Dummy plugs inside had
known it was necessary for SEELE's version of Third Impact.
She looked up at its head, almost nervous. The MP Evas had begun to
copy her form as Third Impact progressed, resulting in nine copies of
her own face being plastered onto the hideous bodies of the mecha.
But...it seemed she didn't have to worry about seeing her own face
contorted in pain. If that face had ever been there, it had long since
decayed; the Eva's head was missing, leaving only a truncated neck.
"Still standing, it seems," Kaoru commented, coming up to it. He
climbed up onto its leg. Rei did likewise, coming up next to him. The
Eva, stuck in a kneeling position, proved fairly easy to climb.
They started moving up, towards it shoulders. They both noticed that
the Eva was indeed petrified; its once organic body had been frozen
into some kind of stone. Third Impact had rendered it utterly useless.
They got to its shoulders, which were nearly horizontal, and quite
broad. There was enough space for them both to stand up.
Rei paced, observing the condition of the Eva. "It seems doubtful that
we can use this," she said. "Even if it were not in its current state,
it is heavily damaged. This arm has almost been severed."
"Yes, and the wings look like they're broken, too," Kaoru said, looking
elsewhere. "And as you said, that's even if it wasn't how it is."
"It is utterly useless," Rei said. "And the other Evangelions of this
model will be in similar condition."
"What about the other one? Is Unit-02 useable?"
"It was destroyed," Rei responded, simply.
"Hm," Kaoru said. He knelt down and put one hand on the hard surface.
"If only the Eva were alive, I could control it. Even the damage would
be reparable, given time." He brought his hand up to his face and
sniffed at his fingers. "Amazing."
Rei also scraped at the Eva's body, feeling its surface crumble to
pebbles underneath her fingers. She sensed what Kaoru did: the "rock"
was a combination of material from Adam and Lillith. When the Eva had
gone to its final form, Lillith samples contained within the Dummy plug
had been allowed to merge with the Eva itself, thus giving it the
ability to project an Anti-AT field. But in causing Third Impact, the
Eva had used itself up, leaving only this.
Rei let out a small sigh. The Eva was much like her and Kaoru, and not
just by genes. It had been a tool, something to be used and then
discarded once its purpose had been achieved. And now, it had nothing
left to do but sit and slowly decay.
"There has to be a way to reactivate it," Kaoru said, standing back up
and putting his hands in his pockets. "All we really need to do is
separate Adam from Lillith in its body."
Rei thought it over, still kneeling on the surface. "It would be
nearly impossible, even if we had NERV's facilities."
"But if it could be done, then it could be undone. It's just a
question of how difficult it is. Do you have any ideas?"
"...I may. The entry plug is the control center for the Eva. It can
control every aspect of the Eva, if the pilot is synchronized highly
enough."
"But the control center for this Eva was a Dummy plug. A computer."
"It was based on me. And the production model this one holds also has
a cloned body of me. I believe that body was dissolved and used as
Lillith DNA to merge with the Eva itself."
"You have an idea?"
"If I can somehow contact the Dummy plug, I may be able to make it work
again, since its mind is a copy of mine."
Kaoru sat down and crossed his legs in front of him. He held his chin
in one hand as he looked over the massive back of the machine.
"Perhaps I can help," he said. "The Eva's body was originally made
from Adam..." with that, he looked intensely at the surface. After
another minute, he closed his eyes, his body shaking with
concentration.
As Rei watched, a small patch - no larger than a coin - shifted colors.
It was almost like watching a staticky TV image slowly clear. But as
Rei watched, the grey stone became the white flesh of an Eva.
"I can...only do it for a small part...can you...can you do something,
Rei?"
Rei said nothing, just knelt down. She reached out and put her hand on
the patch Kaoru was trying to return to life. She closed her own eyes
and took command of her AT field again. It wasn't much - not nearly
the control she'd had back before Impact - but she could still manage
to reach out to the Eva's mind.
With a quickness that sent a shiver down her spine, Rei felt her mind
link to the Eva. She was synched with it, from the outside, something
only a being such as herself could manage.
But instead of the warm, protected feeling that came from linking minds
with an Eva, she felt cold and alone. She felt the Eva's useless,
frozen limbs. Even its soul was asleep, encased deep within its core.
Rei concentrated and reached out to the soul, forcing it awake. A
brief warmth flew thorugh her as the core re-awakened, energizing the
Eva.
But it was only a moment. Just as she felt the Eva's soul begin to
awake, she was pulled forcefully from her synchronization, and left
gasping on the surface.
She looked over, to see Kaoru hunched over, clutching his knees. He
was also breathing hard.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I couldn't do it any longer."
"It may have been enough," Rei said. "I felt its soul begin to awaken.
Now if it only stays awake, it may be able to work the Eva's S2 organ
and repair the damage."
"Damage...is a weak word for it..." Kaoru gasped out. He turned and
lay down on his back, looking up at the sky.
Rei was also tired. But she refrained from lying down, since at that
moment she heard a noise coming from down below.
She walked over to the edge. Paying no heed to the dangers of standing
on the edge of the Eva's body, she looked down, towards the noise.
Soon, she understood what it was.
"It worked," she said, not turning from her position. "The Eva is
drawing in LCL from the sea. It's using it as spare material for its
reconstruction."
Kaoru smiled from where he lay. "Good," he said. "I'd hate...to have
done that...for nothing."
Rei nodded. A small smile appeared on her face, as well. "It will
take time for the Eva to regrow, but it should still be done soon."
"You just had to give it the will to return."
"I suppose so."
Their efforts had exhausted the both of them. Without another word
passing between them, Rei and Kaoru lay down, and fell asleep on the
Eva's back.
For some time, they just lay there, breathing evenly, their faces calm
and almost peaceful. But then, as the Eva continued drawing in LCL
from the sea around it, the massive form shifted, slightly. With this
shift, Rei rolled over onto her left side. She appeared to continue
sleeping, as normal. But, even as she lay there, her left arm sank
downwards, into the Eva's body.
And with that, her eyes began flickering back and forth under her
eyelids, as she began to do something she'd never done before: dream.
***
"Why?"
Rei glanced about, in the darkness that surrounded her. It was very
much like her existence before, in the sea of LCL. But she was somehow
aware that this was not the case.
"Why?" the voice asked again. It sounded familiar, but every time Rei
came close to identifying the speaker, the name slipped away.
"What do you mean?" Rei asked.
"Why did you make me return?"
"What are you?"
"I did not want to return. I am nothing. A simulacrum, a doll. I am
one of many, and easily replaceable. I do not wish to live."
Rei pondered what the voice had just said. It sounded vaguely
familiar. "Who are you?" she asked.
She felt a presence behind her, and turned around. Behind her was more
darkness, but also two red spots, only vaguely discernible.
"...I am Eva," the voice replied, quietly. "Both its pilot and its
soul."
"You...a Dummy plug?" Rei asked, incredulous. This was impossible.
Dummy plugs didn't have thoughts or cares of their own. They were
computers, nothing more.
"That is what I am known as. I am a shadow, a copy of you, Rei
Ayanami. But I cannot be you."
"You should not exist in this form. You cannot have thoughts of your
own."
"I was not supposed to. I was made to follow orders exactly, to kill
myself when necessary. Yet...I can still think. Though it could not
change what I am. A creation, made solely to pilot Eva."
A memory ran through Rei's mind, as it clicked. She remembered that
the prototype Dummy plug had indeed just been a computer, small enough
to fit into Unit-01's entry plug. But the production models had been
more complex, using a spare Rei body to hold the memories and battle
experience. And Rei remembered reading a report that they were
considering putting artificial souls in the Dummy plugs, to increase
their combat effectiveness. Apparently that had been done in the case
of the Mass Production Evas.
"And you wished to remain dead," Rei concluded.
"I waited, hoping the order for my death would come soon. And now you
have violated that desire. You, the original one of us."
"Death solves nothing," Rei responded, her voice _almost_ angry. "I
felt the same way, at a time. It was my purpose to die. I have died
and returned three times, now. And each time, it seems there was
always something more for me to do. If I had remained dead, I would
not have done as much as I have."
"But your reason for coming back was to achieve your end purpose. I
have your memories, and I know what you speak of. What are we to do,
now that our purpose has been completed? There is no reason for us to
remain alive."
"You need to find a reason to live," Rei responded. An image of Shinji
flashed in her mind, but she put it aside, though not without some
considerable effort. "Death is oblivion. It should not be embraced.
And...for us...it does not even seem an option. You were ordered to
die, yet your soul and mind still live. As do mine."
The Dummy plug remained silent for some time. "I do not understand,"
it finally said.
"Because you are made for battle, and not living," Rei responded. She
silenced the voice in her head that was asking how she was all that
different. "But if you have a soul, you must have desires."
"They are nothing more than copies, inadequate clones of your own
thoughts. The only desire I know to be mine and mine alone is my wish
to die."
"You cannot reject what you are. Your desires may be copies of my own,
but they are still yours."
There was another long silence. "There are so many. I hate this body.
I hate the Eva I am within. It is a monster, a machine made to kill."
"You are its controller," Rei said. "You must realize what I have.
Your commanders are gone, with your purpose acheived. But since you
still live, you must set your own priorities."
"..."
"If you hate the Eva, then change it to your desires. You know it's
within your power."
"..."
Rei got the sensation of being pulled away. She tried to fight it, but
it was worthless. The red eyes of the Dummy plug vanished into the
darkness, as she awoke.
***
Outside, Rei winced unconsciously as her arm was pushed out of the
Eva's back. Once she was separated from it completely, she opened her
eyes, awakening.
At the same time, Kaoru's eyes opened. He looked back and forth, then
sat up quickly, so fast that the blood couldn't make it to his head
quick enough, and he was left dizzy.
Rei got up more carefully. She looked down, at the surface of the
Eva's back. She immediately noticed that the color had changed; it was
no longer the gray of a petrified Eva. Instead, it was a brilliant
blue.
"Seems we missed a few things," Kaoru said offhandedly, standing up and
looking down at the mecha. "The coloration...but its body, too..."
Rei got up and took a closer look. Sure enough, the damage from the
Eva's last battle had all but vanished. The bulge on its back that its
wings had retracted into had disappeared, and instead it sported the
long shoulder flanges of NERV's Evas. In addition, it had grown a head
while they slept. It was covered in blue armor, just as the rest of
the Eva now was. The head could in no way be mistaken for human,
having no nose or mouth to speak of, and only one large eye in the
middle of its face.
"I believe I remember this model," Kaoru said, absentmindedly fingering
the scar on his neck.
"Unit-00," Rei completed for him. The Eva I was assigned to pilot."
^Interesting...^ she thought to herself. ^The Dummy plug hated the
Mass Production form, so it made it into the Eva I used.^
Kaoru was looking around quickly, admiring the new growth. "Not
exactly like Unit-00," he said, hanging onto one side of the head and
peeking around to get a better look at the face. "It still has the S2
organ imbedded in its core. Look, there's no port for an umbilical
cable."
Rei confirmed what he saw. No socket for external power suggested that
the Eva was able to move under its own power; something Unit-00 had
never been able to do for more than the five-minute lifespan of its
batteries.
"Can you control it, Kaoru-san?" Rei asked.
"Hm..." Kaoru said, looking down. "Its core is still joined with the
Lancea imbedded in it. It will be an effort, but...I won't know until
I try, eh, Rei?" He threw a smile at the girl. Rei just stared at him
blankly.
"...right," Kaoru said. He ceremoniously cracked his knuckles. "Let's
see what I can do, now."
***
Shinji looked back over the sea of LCL for the fiftieth time that day.
Shaking his head, he went back to work. He and ten other people were
trying to roll a sport-utility-vehicle back onto its wheels. The
vehicle had been toppled onto its roof by the chaos of Third Impact,
but it looked like it might still work. Now they just had to get it
right-side up...
It took a lot of effort and a considerable amount of swearing, but they
eventually got the heavy vehicle levered up into position. The men who
knew something about vehicles immediately swarmed over the truck,
trying to see if it was still in working order. Shinji, for his part,
walked a few meters away and plopped down on the ground.
^You think starting over will be hard,^ he thought, ^And then you get
to it, and it isn't just hard, it's nearly _impossible_. This is going
to take forever.^
Thoughts of his own mortality went through his mind for a moment. This
was going slowly, very slowly. Humanity was returning and picking up
the pieces, but there were still no guarantees it would survive. And
even if it did, Shinji knew he probably wouldn't live long enough to
see it return to what he remembered it as. They truly were starting
over from scratch.
He again looked back to the sea of LCL, focusing on a shape in the
distance. He squinted, trying to get a better look, then shook his
head again. "Nah, couldn't be," he said to himself.
"What couldn't?" Asuka asked, walking up to him. She was dressed in a
sleeveless tee-shirt and loose pants, and looked like she'd been hard
at work, as well.
Shinji sat up, meeting her gaze. "Nothing," he said. "I'm just tired,
and I'm seeing things."
"Well, come on, baka," Asuka said, helping him to his feet. "I'm
hungry."
Shinji smiled and followed her over to where a few people were eating
lunch. It was mostly stew, i.e. 'whatever we could find lying around,
thrown together in a pot and boiled'. He hoped it wouldn't make him
sick, though that had been known to happen.
Asuka handed him a cup of the stuff, and they sat down next to each
other. As soon as they sat down, though, they were barraged with
questions on all sides. People came to talk with them about getting
food for the rest of the camp, setting up housing, and hundreds of
other things.
After about twenty minutes of nonstop requests for instructions on what
to do, Asuka had had it. She stood up and stomped her foot down,
silencing everyone nearby.
"Alright, everyone, just SHUT UP!" she ordered at the top of her lungs.
"Give me and Shinji-chan a _minute_ just to breathe!"
Most people bowed to her and left immediately. The others followed,
muttering about "Shinji-chan," and other things best not said out loud.
Asuka sat back down. "I can't stand it. These people don't want to
think for themselves, anymore."
Shinji put his arm around her. Time to calm the German fireball, just
like he did almost every day. He had it down to nearly a science, now.
"Thank you," he said, looking down into her eyes. "You know how to
handle people."
"I just needed a minute of quiet," Asuka said, her voice now at normal
tones.
"Yeah. But these people are just scared and lost. They don't know
what to do with themselves."
"It's annoying," she said, looking back to the encampment. But...it's
worth it, isn't it?" With that, she looked back up at him.
Shinji lightly kissed her on the lips. "Yeah, it is," he said. He put
his other arm around her.
Asuka sighed and relaxed, a little. A moment of silence passed between
the two.
"What do you think happened to Ayanami and Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked,
maintaining his hold on her.
Asuka frowned. "I don't know," she said, keeping her voice quiet. "I
saw them walking off this morning." She took a moment to remember just
_where_ she'd seen them walking off. "Do...you think they quit?" she
asked.
Shinji shook his head. "Some people just give up and kill themselves,
but not them. They're stronger than that. They were Eva pilots, like
us."
"I guess," Asuka said, unsure.
"But I just wish I knew where they'd gone. They probably both still
need to rest."
"They'll be fine," Asuka said, trying to reassure herself as much as
Shinji. "And you're not eating," she added on, playfully.
"Yeah..." Shinji said, letting go of her and going back to drinking
down the stew. ^She's got me following her orders, just like everyone
else. I can live with that, though.^
Asuka smiled, watching him. She was about to go back to eating her own
lunch when she stiffened, a chill running down her spine. Shinji
reacted the same way, at the same time.
They looked at each other. "What was that?" Asuka asked.
Shinji swallowed and shook his head. He wasn't sure what it was, but
it had made his stomach turn.
It was then that he saw it, highlighted by the setting sun.
"No...impossible..." Shinji muttered. He carefully set his cup down on
the ground, trying his best not to spill any. Food was too important
to waste, even if you were currently too scared to even think.
He stood up and raised up one hand to protect his eyes from the light.
Asuka stood and followed his gaze. When she saw it, she also locked
up.
It was what Shinji had been looking at all day. Earlier that morning,
he'd seen two shapes swimming out into the LCL. Then, he thought he'd
seen two people climbing up the MP Eva sitting out there. He hadn't
thought anything of it; maybe someone was just curious. Not everyone
here had seen an Eva, before.
But then, he'd seen the Eva begin to change. It had been very gradual.
When he looked right at it, it seemed to be sitting there, just like it
always had. But when he left to do some work and then came back, the
Eva's outline had definitely changed, if only just enough to be
noticeable. It had been like that all day.
And now...the Eva was moving.
They were both frozen to the ground, watching it. People saw them and
wondered what was wrong, but they were all too scared of getting yelled
at again to try asking.
Asuka and Shinji watched, mortified, as the Eva's arms slowly extended,
pulling the copy of the Lancea Longinus out of its chest. The weapon
emerged, and then the Eva sagged, as though the exertion had depleted
it. Asuka and Shinji both prayed it would stop moving.
But it didn't. Instead, it stood up, slowly and unsteadily. Its hands
clenched on the Lancea copy. The weapon, old and depleted, crumbled to
dust under the grip.
The Eva looked down, almost confused as to why its weapon would have
dissolved like that. But then...it began to walk, trudging through the
LCL like a man walking through a swamp.
Shinji reacted first. He backed off, forcing himself to blink and tear
his eyes off of that thing.
"Everyone, drop what you're doing!" he shouted. "There's an
emergency!"
Many people looked up at his voice, then looked out to the LCL. Now,
more and more of them noticed the Eva walking towards the camp. There
was a brief silence. Then, pandemonium ensued.
Screams echoed throughout the camp, as people rushed around, trying to
find their loved ones and get together their few valuables.
"Asuka, come on!" Shinji said, grabbing her wrist.
Asuka resisted. Long hours of work had developed Shinji's muscles, but
Asuka was no weakling, herself. She was able to keep herself in place.
"Asuka, what're you doing?!" he asked. "Don't you know what that is?"
"But...but look at it," Asuka said, gesturing at the Eva. "It looks
like Unit-00. And...are there people riding on it? I think there
are..."
Shinji looked back, taking a second look. He recognized Unit-00's
distinctive shape, which left him confused, since he knew what had
happened to Unit-00. And, on one of its shoulders...
"Kaoru-kun?" he asked. "No, you wouldn't...not again...please, Kaoru-
kun..."
People gathered around behind them, asking what they should do. Asuka
and Shinji ignored them.
Asuka started walking towards the Eva. Shinji reached out to stop her,
but then reconsidered. Instead, he found himself following her.
^No more running away,^ he thought to himself. ^I'm the leader,
so...I've got to meet this thing head-on. But damn, I sure wish I had
an Eva of my own...^
They reached the coastline just as the Eva started coming up out of the
LCL. Shinji looked at the shape on its other shoulder, and blinked.
He hadn't wanted to believe it, when he'd seen it, but now, there was
no denying who it was.
"Ayanami?" he called out. "What are you doing?"
"Don't worry, Shinji-kun," Kaoru called out, raising his voice just
enough to be heard. "We're just doing our parts."
With that, the Eva's huge right foot came out of the LCL and hit dry
land. The earth shook with the impact, and a cloud of dust rose up.
The Eva's left foot followed soon after.
Kaoru glanced over at the Eva's head, and its hands raised up to its
shoulders. He and Rei stepped onto its palms, and were lowered to the
ground. Rei kept her withdrawn attitude, while Kaoru put his hands in
his pockets and smiled.
"Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked, walking up, with Asuka not far behind.
Kaoru nodded. "Rei and I thought it would be useful to have some
heavier equipment," he said, glancing over at Rei. Rei, for her part,
looked at Shinji, standing close to Asuka, and sniffed, turning her
head away.
Shinji looked over at Rei, then back to Kaoru. "But...an _Eva_?
That's something we're all trying to forget about."
"You said everyone has to do their part," Kaoru said, moving to stand
next to Shinji. They both looked up at the huge mecha. "And I was
just doing what I know I can do well."
Asuka spoke up. "You're controlling it, right?"
Kaoru nodded.
"Good," Asuka replied. Then, her face brightened as a sudden thought
hit her. "Uh...hey, Shinji-chan, wouldn't Akagi want to see this one?"
Shinji looked at her, realizing it for himself. "Actually..._yeah_,
she would. Kaoru, can you bring this thing closer to the camp?"
"Why yes, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said. He stepped back onto the Eva's hand
and getting raised to its shoulder again. Rei tried to do likewise,
but the Eva had already raised itself back up to its full height.
"Kaoru-san," Rei said. "I am still down here."
"I know," Kaoru replied. "You go back with Shinji-kun. I'll follow
along." He winked at Rei from his position. Rei turned away, looking
back to Shinji, who had put his arm around Asuka's waist, trying to
reassure her. She resisted the urge to scowl.
"Very well," she replied. She immediately began walking towards the
camp. She walked by Shinji and Asuka, who kept looking at the Eva,
still dumbfounded. But when Shinji and Asuka snapped out of it, they
turned and ran to catch up to the blue-haired girl.
"Ayanami!" Shinji called out. "Wait up!"
Rei did not slow down, nor did she speed up. She could tell by their
footsteps that they were moving fast enough to catch up to her. That,
they did, Shinji coming up on her right side, and Asuka on her left.
They both took a moment to catch their breath, but since they hadn't
run for very long, they weren't even breathing hard.
"So..." Shinji began. "Whose idea was it?"
"Kaoru-san's," Rei responded, curtly.
They turned as they heard Eva-00's thunderous footsteps. The mecha was
moving slowly, but surely, towards the camp. Shinji and Asuka still
looked a little shocked by the machine's appearance.
"Well, we got to thank that kid, I guess," Asuka said. "We could
probably get a lot of use out of an Eva."
"I'm waiting until Akagi looks at it," Shinji said.
"Baka. What's she gonna be able to do, anyway?" she asked, batting his
arm. "It's not like she's got NERV backing her up anymore."
"I guess."
"So Akagi-san has returned?" Rei asked, breaking off this line of
conversation.
"...yeah," Shinji said. "Just a few weeks ago. She's still the same
ol' Ritsuko-san."
^...who wanted nothing more than my death,^ Rei mentally added.
As they neared the camp, Rei turned and walked towards the Eva, which
had stopped not far from where they were.
"Send Akagi-san out to meet us," Rei called out to the other two. On
hearing them agree, she continued walking.
^Life is just a return to pain,^ she couldn't help thinking. ^An
Eva...I guess I wanted to forget about them, too. But it seems we
can't leave our pasts behind. Even I, who have no past.^
She looked back, to see Shinji and Asuka's silhouettes vanish into one
of the shanty houses. ^I wonder how it started between them...no, I
can't think of those things. It'll just hurt.^
Rei got to the foot of the Eva and stopped, crossing her arms behind
her back and turning around to keep a lookout for Akagi. ^I might have
chosen real pain over false pleasure, but I still want to avoid being
hurt.^
Unfortunately, her mind kept wandering. How _had_ it started between
Shinji-kun and Soryu? She wanted to know, no matter how much she
wanted to deny it. She wanted this Eva to disappear, no matter how
important she knew it would be to the recovery effort. She wanted...
^So many things I want that I can't have,^ Rei thought. ^I'm just a
fool.^
----------------------------------------------------- -----------------
Endnote: Well, that's what I have so far. These first two chapters
are really just a teaser, to see what kind of response I get for this
new fic. So write me and tell me what you think.
----------------------------------------------------------- -----------
Started: March 15, 2001
Ended: April 7, 2001
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei