Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Blue cross book 1: Pride vs reason 6-0 ❯ Human Decadences ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: No Eva related subjects have been owned by this author. Never. Hitman also doesn't drink with nor does any of IO interactives crew.

 

AN: So I decided to do humour fic for a change. Different from my usual thing that so far I've only managed to do humor unintentionally with my pompous acting and such.. It would be too much of work to say what this thing really is so I'll say it briefly: this is supposed to be parody about making fanfiction as well about makers of fanfiction.

 

Its supposed to give bit of insight by showing what it would be like, if all fanfiction would be made like movies. This kind stuff has briefly emerged as omake stories in end of main stories by certain authors and puddle of LCL made such fic what made evangelion as `galaxy quest' type parody.

 

This is basically behind the scenes involving fic “Decadence”. Readers have told that fic in question has ruined my credibility, which is actually good news: I didn't know I had still credibility to be ruined:)

Further more one reader told me with that cool, condescending, intellectual and stand offish way what I like to use too, that he/she won't read anything I write again ever-that's real economical disaster.

 

This fic starts with a jewel of wisdom from my very res…liked PR manager

 

“Rusty Knights Productions- Dedicated in failing the expectations of A/S and other pairing fans, all the way from year 2003”

 

-Asuka Sohryu,(reluctant) member of RKP's cast and public relations manager.

 

Blue cross book 1: Pride vs. reason: 6-0

 

Human decadences

 

“Dungeon scene, take three!” Yell comes from background and scene board claps in front of camera.

 

`Here it goes.'“Action!” Director shouts.

 

“Who is after me and why?” 47 repeated the question.

 

This scenes lighting was horrible. Director and camera men had worked around this and thought to how we would arrange it. This was a dungeon after all and only light source was that bulb what's forty-seven's back. Of course it was ridiculously little, people wouldn't see Kaji's face from forty-seven's shadow, and that black suit draws light it.

 

Kaji insisted to do this whole interrogation thing by himself. He was practically stripped out of clothes to this scene. That is some kind of relief when you heard that most of the famous actors use substitute body parts.

 

Finally forty-seven slides out his hardballer. Slowly…like we agreed, and close camera zooms in…NOW! That cloned colt really looks mean in close up….camera slide works out well and the texts are readable. Now the picture concentrates to that glowed hand…director looks satisfied.

 

“You don't take me seriously, I see.” 47 breathed deeply. “Bring out the girl.”

 

Little bit of glossing, but two of 47's henchmen are women. Those who have spent their lone youth with asian porn even remotely should know who those are. If Mika and Miko won't ring a bell, then you've missed a lot.

 

Asuka had to be persuaded for this. Now seeing her ball gagged and tied down between two of most beautiful women there are, with that angry `filthy-whores-don't-touch-me' expression, it really should either turn on or piss off Asuka fans. After all Asuka's fans are like the weather: so much little variables that it's no use to do accurate prognosis. But still some try.

 

“Ball gag?” 47 had to really find those expressions what are, limited in his supply, to find right one which looks like genuine confusion.

 

“We had to silent her somehow. This girl wrecks the image of innocent 14 what we have on stocks.” Miko, the one who looks more asian. It was really hard in the first place

 

“And I guess those ropes are made of nailon.” 47 nods to Asuka's wrists.

 

“My last customer used all the jesus tape.” Mika said cheerily. “Besides this is much comfortable, ain't it?” Mika squeezed Asuka, bit more than comradely which caused dismayed redhead try to pull her self away from her only to bumped to miko.

 

“Too bad we don't have gym here. You could use it.” Miko said as she kept Asuka still almost protectively from raven haired companion.

 

“You're saying my sex appeal is shimming?” Mika measured her waist trough silk. “Fucking should be considered a sport; after all it gets you to sweat. You'd thought that would make you lose some pounds…”

 

47 ignored what he heard, as in script goes. “Put her over there and stand back. This might ricochet.”

 

Few seconds camera takes three lady's expressions in shot as miko's and mika's face go grim, before they push Asuka away from them as they had just heard she was carrying a plague.

 

Asuka stumbles to the corner….close up! Now she looks pleading and her lips instead of defiance now are still roundly around the pink ball. Sweat is dribbling in her face as she getting harder to breathe, now that she might die in front of Kaji.

 

Kaji looks 47 suspiciously. And then eyes Asuka. I didn't want to sound this too corn so I didn't write any pleading from Kaji's side. “You wouldn't-she's needed to save the mankind…”

 

“What've I heard, third and first would perform better with out her as hindrance. Unless you answer the question, I will do my contribution…in betterment of mankind.” 47 replies calmly.

 

Kaji had options, but they were bad ones. Kaji neither had much loyalty to his employer, not at least that much to endanger Asuka's life, or let any harm to come to her. All though killer clone's threat seemed be with out reconsidering, he couldn't take the risk that something of a teenage crush which Asuka had surrender from the start would be her peril.

 

“It's Gendo Ikari from NERV, UN's subsection.” Kaji admits.

 

47 doesn't react anyway to it. “I have followed you all the way you reached this town. You had the arrogance to come here with out back ups, to my town, with out trying to do background checks you lunged to first clue what you found. That is careless work from an `agent'.” bald man's tone was to this point dull.

 

“What makes me to despise you more, is that you had the nerve to bring a child with you to here.” Now forty-seven's voice had turned to cold and contempt. “No professional ever does that grave mistakes, making self so easily vulnerable and accessible.”

 

Kaji had feared this might've happen. Assassin thought that he was trying to feed him quickly invented crap. “Look, it's the truth…”

 

“And even now…” Forty seven tuned up his voice paying no attention to Kaji's arguing. “When you are bound here, with out change of rescue and knowing now what is at stake, you are trying to sleaze you way out of this. Insolence will take its toll, Kaji Ryoji. And this time it's her life.”

 

Asuka manages to whimper and that's everything 47 needs. With out switching his gaze from Kaji, 47's right arm quickly reaches out with hardballer and it automatically steers to source of Asuka's last sound she had managed to let out. Even quicker than sound seeking reflex is the one of his fingers, as they squeeze the trigger and instead of loud bang it lets out a click, not the one that would tell that gun had jammed, but the normal click what hammer makes when it hit's the cartridge.

 

Asuka didn't have the time to think the difference between handgun's noises. Silenced or not, the bullet impacted to her forehead's side, but because the speed being slower it didn't exited from her brains, let alone knocked her over like in action films. Asuka fell against the side wall, with her last look on her face of terror and dismay as she found out her fate. Actually with out blood gushing out her head she might look like she was just leaning to wall groggily. She slowly begins to fall, first to her knees and then hurtled down to her face to dungeon floor.

 

47 looked at Kaji's flabbergasted visage and though results of this execution were what he hoped, 47 showed neither malicious joy nor pride about his skills. His countenance had stayed as callous as it was when he came to this cell. If he got some satisfaction as showing with this overkill to Kaji what grave underestimation he had done, that couldn't be decipherablefrom his appearance.

 

Beauties who had escorted Asuka to her fate had been on their toes when they saw silverballer glinting in the dank dungeon. They had gotten the chills when 47 had first warned them; what no doubly was more warning to their prisoners than to them. They looked at their boss in fear, as neither of them was violent in their nature and Mei Ling's friendliness and warmth hadn't prepared them to this. Mei Ling's compassion had belied them from the grim side of this business for a moment and inside their head rise a doubt that Red dragon's brothel/restaurant wasn't such a paradise: and if it was there was dangerous serpent in there what they had to be on their guard perhaps for the rest of their lives.

 

47 lowered his arm still keeping silverballer in it. “Now we continue this questioning. Perhaps this time you even care to speak the truth…” 47 stepped back for a step so that blood that flowed from Asuka's headshot wouldn't ruin his shoes. Kaji could do nothing but wait chained and what was about to come.

 

“AAND CUT!” Director shouted.

 

In instant all the expressions washed away from people's faces in the dungeon set. Lady's who had escorted Asuka to the set dropped their terrorized postures and relaxed. Bald assassin turned to impassive with out especial animosity what was required to this scene. Kaji stretched his neck in stock and sighed.

“Do we need to take this one again? My neck is getting bit sore.”

 

“No need, we took your face postures earlier.” Director replies. “I'll just explain some of this scene to camera and get back with you in the sec.”

 

As the crew was collecting this to be as an extras section of the DVD release, camera that had filmed the scene now directed to Director. Had people looked now trough the camera they had seen this films director….Shinji Ikari.

 

Shinji smiled in his normal way to camera as it's concentrated to him, or at least those who liked him or those who were neutral about him would've kept it normal. Those who disliked him saw it as `excuse me for existing' and `sorry that I've born' smile. Shinji cleared his troth as he prepared to do one of those many things where he didn't excel.

 

“Umm…you probably wonder how I got in this job….” Shinji said. “You see…script and screen play writer used to be this film's director…but he and Asuka had bit of…eh let's say they had differences about the artistic views…”

 

“That sort of differences what they couldn't clear but with their fists….” Kaji spoke from the back ground.

 

“Right.” Shinji admitted with small chuckle of. “Finally the former director just switched seats and moved to script and producers seat, sharing that with our second producer whose responsibility is safety and special effects. Anyway…Asuka really would've wanted this seat too…but our leading producer thought that she had enough in her hands with PR and appointed me to the job.” Shinji looked bit concise as saying it. “Man, I've suffered cause of it in the locker room…you see, Asuka takes it that I bested her again…you can guess the rest.” Shinji sighed.

 

“This scene is for bonus material of Decadence's coming DVD release.” Shinji continued.

 

“You probably know there isn't any sense in this whole set up, david … 47 wouldn't kill someone which from he wants information…. This is something for people who our producers call `anti-asuka demonstrators', in other words people who like too see character bashing.”

 

“While this films producers admit that they enjoy sometimes other stories what gives them the mood to fly characters to the moon by kicking them to butt hard enough, they say despise character bashers.“ Shinji shrugged. “Something about bashing being `example of total lack of balls and cowards way to get audience/pity/praise/acceptance'…but you see in this business we have to at least try to please everyone. On the plus side we don't need to like anyone. heh.”

 

Shinji directed his gaze away from the camera, as fearing that sentence to come back around to him. “That's why this won't be on last cut. Getting Asuka to do this was tricky…” Shinji flinched remembering the unpleasant task what both producers had evaded, making him the messenger. “When producers then increased her pay check with reprisals that she calls `Baka entertaining fee' and `Perverse job increase' she finally agreed. But let's get this started.”

 

Shinji pointed the camera men to change view so that the interviews could get on the way.

 

Next there comes imaginary of the set where actors are still waiting. Kaji is still shackled while 47 are looking around to see when this interview would begin. Miko and Mika had all ready taken advantage of the brake while gossiping.

 

Shinji toddled out of his seat and kept no rush while approaching the scenery. “This went pretty well.” Shinji didn't express was it question or statement.

 

“And it only needed third takes.” Miko nodded. “I could've said we would need five, but Asuka immersed herself this better than I thought.”

 

“I gave her bit help with it.” Mika noticed. “We chatted one day about getting inside the role and she said that wasn't thrilled getting to this kind of parts where she had to skate on thin ice…It's not the thing about acting weak, but she had a hard time doing it credibly.”

 

“You're drama teacher now too?” 47 noted from background taking part of conversation. Since all were off duty, he taking part on conversation wasn't that rare as you'd think.

 

“Sorta.” Mika said after short pause. Where she was from, word Drama was usually said in negative perspective. 47, being from Europe or Eurasian, meant it literal and not as a taunt. “I put some of my best skin flicks to her Dvd player.” She patted her friend on shoulder. “And this gal's best went on there too.”

 

“How does that help with this?” Miko replied. “This flick really has little to do what we two do for living.”

 

“It was just little example of putting heart and soul to everything what you do.” Mika shrugged.

 

“Is this…really that important?” Shinji interrupted them bit hesitantly.

 

“That's a really terrifying idea.” Mika said with gale of laughter. ”If somebody really does this kind of thing dead serious…But you know her, she wants to do everything with hundred percent and I turned this nasty scene into a challenge to her and that works with her kind.”

 

“Isn't the second child frigid what it comes to sexual themes?” 47 intervened again.

 

“I thought so too.” Miko confirmed. All though Asuka had been somewhat suspicious about two “adult-entertainment” stars (Miko kept that little too “as if” prudent), but they had no great difficulties. Actually Mika and Asuka had come along great they both had after all college background. They both always those kinds' moments, when people suddenly get the enlightenment that they both might just have other skill besides sucking cock.

 

“And Shinji knows probably the best about her frigidity, don't cha kid?” Mika winked. She noticed how Shinji tried to look in corner of his eye where Asuka had thumped minutes earlier. Mika marked that her red headed co worker hadn't yet commented anything what they had said. “She really had a hard time looking me to the eyes, I mean up here.” She pointed her face. “She really felt awkward when I made passes at her minutes ago.” Mika's only real disappointment was that script writer had once again made female antagonist try to get lesbian with female protagonist. But it was script writers own choice and as he was just a man, Mika forgave him for that this time.

 

“It'll last a while. People whose friends or buddys in the business have to go trough that phase sooner or later-but she'll come trough it.” Miko shrugged. “After all in certain company she ain't THAT frigid…” Her eyes wondered to Kaji who was still shackled in the middle.

 

“I do my best, even if I don't know it.” Kaji grinned.

 

“Damn right you do.” Miko smiled softly and her eyes met for moments.

 

Shinji decided trying to carry on this interview; all though he felt that he had been leaven much to as an outsider. He approach a little of another great loner, murderous agent next to the shackled agent. “That went pretty well on your part…I didn't see that last line in script though…but it was great.”

 

“Thank you. I don't usually pronounce action poem or a witty remark when I'm carrying out my tasks, but after all this was special case and after all it won't official, I thought this scene just craved it.” Bald head man in suit replied.

 

Shinji nodded and turned now the second last cast member who was in stocks, naked as the script had said. Actually the nudity was just there for showing the viewer who was in control, not as a form of `fan service'. The stocks had locked Kaji in position where anyone who was front of him couldn't see his `machinery'. How ever Shinji remembered the `other' angle what gave audience good view of Kaji mooning-this was a `hidden' angle what on the other hand was fan service…at least for women audience.

 

Shinji had difficult time to figure out hat from he could praise Kaji from as his part in this scene was static all together. Shinji had prepared to his task the way he usually does, what didn't meant in his case complaining and sulking, but reading trough ` Zen and art of good movie directing.' Middle section covered about maintaining good relations to the crew, no matter what was the job they carried out.

 

“Look, kid, if you can't figure out where to say me `atta boy' just leave it.” Kaji calmed him. “Spare what ever you was about to say for some other time, and concentrate on the one who REALLY loves to hear some.” Kaji nodded to Asuka who still strangely though kept leaning to dungeon set's wall.

 

Message from sponsor: In this point many of them had inkling that something was wrong, but they couldn't place quite it. I realise it might be really over you comprehension that they didn't, but please forgive the cast: If anyone of you ever have the questionable privilege to work with the second child, let alone with anyone who is bit like her, you'll notice them to be full of…vagary.

 

Such an ancient and long used phrase as `girding your loins' came in force to his head kicking door back in his head out of it's hinges. As Shinji prepared to give Asuka feed back from her performance, he decided to gird it so hard that it let only little room for circulation of blood. And after that, he just pierced extra hole to his belt to get it tighter. This was that real place.

 

Shinji cleared bit of his throat before continuing further. “That went mighty-fine from you…”

 

Whole the cast looked bit amazed (Except 47) and they all they tasted the two words `mighty-fine' trying to form them with lips, all wondering (Excluding 47) could there be any forceful compliment than that.

 

“…I mean that you did great...that you were convincing…realistic…I mean that atmosphere of total helplessness and defeat what you relayed…” Shinji was confused his words and could not look at Asuka to eyes. “…I mean this should at least prove to those jerks who keep telling that you're just one face actress are load of bull…”

 

Asuka could misinterpret number of things during Shinji's, perhaps most cautious attempt to praise anyone ever. Only thing was it was being undermined by his lack of nerves. But for some reason there weren't any objections to be heard.

 

“I just wanted to say you did great.” Shinji said simply after getting stuttered in his words. Asuka just stayed leaning to the wall, curiously uncomfortable position with out even fix her posture while others talked. Her `last' look was still on and it really was sheer terror (that gesture, taking in notion that Asuka was a) ball gagged and b) pride as hell, was behind real work) and arms still bound to behind.

 

Shinji put this account of Asuka's dedication and continued his gratitude. “You really can work with such devotion, that it moves mountains. If our producer/scriptwriter would've even shred of spirit that we'd be who knows where…” Now Shinji had an IOID shock wave. That's shortage from “Inkling of Impending Doom.” That always made him cringe every time when Asuka was about to lash out for him, sorta sixth sense.

 

Shinji put on mark that Asuka didn't stop bleeding. He had ability to tolerate even nasty looking gore, if he knew it was special effect. That's why really bad gun shot wound didn't seem to bother at him, but as blood still kept coming, all though part of it was clotting, and that gave “itshouldn'tdothat” flash in addition of his IOID wave.

 

Shinji reacted quickly…to confirm was this a trick: “Zen and art of good directing” warned him about movie stars being moody. As if he wouldn't know that all ready…

 

“I said I understand why your fans say, that you're a demigod.” Shinji said in audible voice.

 

Asuka was dead still.

 

“And I agree, like most fanatical of your fans, that god is demiasuka.” Shinji continued.

 

And dead still she remained.

 

“David…” Shinji said carefully and turned towards bald clone in the suit. All the others in the room had stayed silent, mostly because they felt collective embarrassment and sorry behalf of their stuttering and insecure director. Shinji showed him inverse C with his thumb and index finger as show could david…Mr. 47 feel Asuka's pulse. It was more his field anyway.

 

That, and Asuka wouldn't be so easy to lash at him instead of Shinji.

 

47 moved with out keeping any rush to body of the red haired prisoner. He didn't even take his gloves off, as he ducked and raised a little Asuka's head so that he could see her better. As 47 loosed his finger Asuka's head sunk downwards slack. 47 turned to Shinji and straightened his tie. “She's dead.”

 

“That's what the script says.” 47's eyes couldn't be deciphered, was he either on assignment or on leave so it wasn't surprise that Shinji didn't get it.

 

“No, she's dead, in every meaning of the word.” 47 clarified. As he saw Shinji's eyes to widen and suspicious look he continued. “She doesn't breathe and her diligent heart and hands have stopped beating.”

 

Could it be clearer than that?

 

No, but as 47 put small teeny weenie handful of humor in his phrase, that gave Shinji some hope, false one though, but hope never the less. He walked towards Asuka and 47 stepped out of his way, and as he saw that Shinji was about do his own investigations, bald agent just snorted and turned to Miko and Mika who both were bit truly in surprised. “Shows you the worth of professional's word in this place…” 47 shooed his head.

 

Miko and Mika had so far they had been spared from doubts of their skills. Actually scriptwriters and producers doubts had been towards the `real' acting cast, especially the Eva kids were always under their magnifying lense. Both women now keenly followed what Shinji was doing.

 

Shinji reached from Asuka's chest with his hands. Had anyone be dumper they might've thought he was about to do CPR. That wasn't the case, as he laid his hands firmly to Asuka's bust. Then he the thing what many men on this planet dream to do as day job: Squeezed.

 

“Aaawww.” Mika sighed dreamingly. “Look at that, our little boy is growing up.”

 

“That's so cute.” Miko accompanied. “As cute as groping dead girls rack can be.” Miko first thought that Shinji's confidence was much worse than the word says, but when she summed up all what she had heard from Asuka, this might very well to be only way how Shinji can do that to her.

 

“Hey, you've watched that EoE clip trough didn't you?” Mika said. They both had told to do some background research before coming to the sets. Eoe's jerking off scene served well as a shock, but was from their professional POV it was really unsatisfying.

 

“I was just thinking the same.” Miko nodded. “I've digital-vid cam with me. Perhaps we could do a remake of it if Shinji warms up.”

 

“Didn't you do voice acting in some hentai flick?” Mika wondered. Her own experience over anime was bit limited, let alone hentai then.

 

“Yup. But it was long time ago.” Miko replied. “It was really fun experience.”

 

Shinji stopped his own investigation of Asuka's dead and after the last hope of Asuka regenerating after headshot to punch him and swearing around. As that hope began to fade like fart in sahara, he directed terrified glances to everyone in the room. He tried to talk but words didn't come out of his mouth and he looked like he was gasping for his life.

 

“Looks like our boy needs to grow few years before he's ready for our industry…” Miko said feeling little disappointed. Perhaps they might've been able to get few bucks with Shinji's innocent like aura, but then again it might've just be illegal.

 

Mika saw best try to calm down her director. “Look Shinji don't take that so hard. All of us get that kind of temptations. Ever heard that opportunity makes a thief? This really isn't that bad…”

 

“S-sh-she is dead---like-…” Shinji couldn't finish the sentence and waved his arm as sort of wordless “Just…like…that”.

 

“Well…that one is real bad…” Mika looked bleeding corpse of Asuka and her stomach began to churn.

 

“How..how could she ju-just…die?” Shinji said looking Asuka in dismay.

 

Kaji had been silent this far as events rolled down fast tense and stocks didn't give him much space to move. He looked gunshot wound what he first had kept pretty cool. “Isn't that obvious by now?” Kaji as usually tried lightening the atmosphere; though this time he had pretty big challenge in his hands.

 

47 understood Shinji's question and pulled out his hardballer and turned it left side up and cocked the clip out of it's place. He looked at the ammunition in the clip. “Interesting…” He muttered.

 

“Huh?” Shinji lifted his head.

 

“My bullets…” Bald agent replied. “…They are .45 Automatic Colt calliper standard issue, and not modified Finnish wooden cartridges as requested.” 47 pushed the clip back to its place and screwed silencer out. “Silencer is also regular silencer and not impulse amplifier what's painted black.”

 

“Awful lot of coincidences…” Kaji muttered.

 

“Shouldn't YOU know these things!?” Shinji said his voice climbing few octaves. “Being a professional and all?!”

 

47 came bit sullen than he normally was during his own free time. First his professional expertise wasn't good enough but Shinji had to examine Asuka and taking lot of time doing that. Now he had accusations when his tools weren't what they supposed to be.

 

Bald agent lowered his gun and gave Shinji a sharp glare. “I left my tools here for modification by special effect and firearms coordinator. Direct your complaints to there.”

 

Miko saw new conflict getting fuel and decided try to put it out, knowing that people in the cast had already enough bad blood between casts. “Hey, hey guys don't get so excited we're just all trying to do our jobs here…let's not start pointing fingers.”

 

“All blaming and no play, makes a bitch any day.” Mika said to back her friend.

 

“He…he just killed her!” Shinji shouted spreading his hands up.

 

“Well, Asuka won't rise up from there even if you keep accuse everyone.” Mika replied calmly. “Besides, wasn't that fancy shit supposed to be so that 47 wouldn't notice the difference? Besides didn't you wonder all that bleeding?”

 

Mika's turning the table towards Shinji made him to do the usual pattern: he avoided gaze of the one who spoke with them and blushed, this time embarrassment was caused by his foolishness as he admitted. “I…I thought we had so good special effects….” when he noticed others (Exclude 47 from that group) to chuckle he rushed to say “It could've been that! They do good fx these days! How was I supposed to know it wasn't a trick?”

 

“Eer…how about that she kept bleeding after you yelled cut?” Miko suggested.

 

Shinji looked desperately for support from Kaji, who (obviously) hadn't budged from his place. “She left the world like she came to it: with loud bang and big mess.”

 

Unfortunately Kaji had all ready made his choice, by trying not to see the grim side of things, and before you ask he made that choice when he born. Other babies cried when they had to leave their mothers womb, but Kaji just stated (if goo goo, gaa gaa and baby cry is counted for sensible speech) that “he could use the exercise” and “fresh air does miracles.”

 

This of course didn't exactly encourage Shinji on his mission. He buried his face in to his hands, helpless of the situation were protagonist actor was dead, and guest stars and one of their own tried to wipe it under the rug. It went without saying that this wasn't covered in “Zen and art of good directing.” If that kind of paragraph was found in the book he guessed that it said “Run like hell.”

 

All of the sudden 47 noticed something in the edge of the studio's lighting. He separated features of figure that had followed events of this scene. With his sharp hearing, 47 could hear the figure snickering a bit. As his eyes concentrated he could guess who had shown up there. “Or you might consider doing your complaint now.”

 

“Eikö äitisi kertonut ettei ruokkivaa kättä saa purra?/Didn't you mother told you not to bite the hand that feeds?” Voice replied from the darkness and figure start moving closer to the edge of light.

 

“I never had a mother.” 47 said.

 

“Ai niin, tietysti./oh right, of course.” After that the figure stepped out to the light. It was the devil what they spoke of, second producer and special effect coordinator as well fire arms expert. Wearing a vest, beret and glasses, keeping hair in long ponytail, as well unshaven beard he looked as cheery as one can be. Young man put both of his hands up, but something in his appearance told that he wasn't seriously thinking about surrendering. “Älä ammu./Don't shoot.” He said smiling. Had this been some (good) comedy, 47 would've shot him as well in accident.

 

“One accidental shot per day is enough.” 47 replied shoving -apparently- very deadly hardballer to his shoulder holster. “Our director is very…stressed.”

 

“Kuin kala kuivalla maalla, vai?/Like fish upon dry earth?” fire arm expert replied.

 

”Isn't it fish out of water?” Miko corrected from the background.

 

“Niinpä kai. Älä ota tuota puheeksi ekan tuottajan kanssa./I guess so. Don't take that as topic with the first producer.” He shrugged.

 

“COULD SOMEBODY LOOK OVER HERE?!” Shinji cried after he noticed that conversation was about to jump side track, again.

 

“KUULEN MINÄ VÄHEMMÄLLÄKIN, HERRA OHJAAJA!/I HEAR YOU LOT LESS, MR.DIRECTOR!” firearm expert roared out of sudden and Shinji jumped but the special effects expert then just chuckled after he saw how easily Shinji gave up from offensive. “Pahaakin ongelmaa?/is it bad problem?”

 

Shinji just pointed Asuka's corpse what still kept looking forward.

 

“Harvinainen näky: hän on turpa kiinni eikä edes nuku./Rare sight: She has shut up with out being in sound sleep.” Second producer shrugged.

 

Shinji slapped his forehead and showed that he was about to breakdown, both mentally and physically.

 

47 interpret Shinji's body language to his employer. “Third child is frustrated, as you seem to miss apparent difference in second child's physical condition.”

 

Fire arm expert reached out to see better, which he regretted since he had emerged behind the cameras which were concentrated the fan service yummy and were picturing Kaji's south end keenly. As this film's second producer saw to be little too close to this cardinal point of the compass he jumped to Kaji's left side faster than fab5 styles 40 year old.

 

Special effects expert now looked again second's child still figure and he immediately understood what he had missed in the first time. “Hän vuotaa verta ja on hiljaa?/ She bleeds blood and is quiet?”

 

Shinji let out suffocated sigh as he had guessed that second producer could refuse from cooperation but he hadn't really figured out how to cope trough it. He thanked god/fate/cosmos/change/who-ever-was-in-charge, that 47 had offered without a question to be his voice. If they'd wait his stuttering to clear out, they probably would be here until tomorrow.

 

In the time that Mika, Miko and Kaji wondered how odd were words `bleed blood', 47 took situation forward. “Close, but he would still like to know how it happened.”

 

“Luodilla?/With bullet?” Special effects expert suggested.

 

“No, he wants to know how it was possible.” 47 corrected.

 

“Aseella tietenkin./With gun of course.” Pony tailed man (The one who was wearing something and wasn't in stocks) answered.

 

What longer this conversation developed that agonized Shinji turned. Unlike his cold demeanor and straight forward manners would've suggested, 47 read Shinji between the lines and kept bringing up questions what Shinji, cause of his shocking state, couldn't coherently express. “He wants to know why my weapon wasn't loaded with wood cartridges, as planned.”

 

“Varmaan koska ase ladattiin niillä oikeilla ammuksilla./Probably because the gun was loaded with real ammunition.” He evaded the question.

 

47 breathed deep as he had explained this matter as simply as he could, and either it didn't reach the recipient (Which he didn't believe) or then recipient felt to be one lucky and witty guy as he kept shitting with them, in literal sense.

 

“Where is main producer's stress medicine?” Shinji said desperately, as he saw light in the end of a tunnel coming from train that was about run over him.

 

Everyone looked at Shinji. Such odd metaphor as “he looks like he has sold his lands and eaten his butter” or good english substitute for that metaphor would've given the best picture about upheaval what had rocked shinji's world, which wasn't so desolate as one would thought.

 

“Stressilääke?/ The stress medicine?” Evasive effect master in vests replied, as he didn't believe Shinji had fallen this deep. “'Helppo ratkaisu?' `nopein pakotie?' `miehen turma?'/'The easy solution?', `Fastest way out?' `Man's demise?'” Co-producer listed few other names of the item in question. Unclear was however was it his way to talk Shinji out of it, or then make his torment bit longer.

 

“Yes, that's the one.” Shinji said with gleam in his eyes.

 

Co-producer reconsidered whether he should say it. He finally reasoned that stress medicine wouldn't do any more damage. “Kolmekasi on tuottajan toimistossa, kirjan hyllyssä, Nefilim compleksin Dvd boksin takana… /Thirtyeight is in the producers office, in the book shelves, behind Nephilim complex's Dvd box....”

 

That further he didn't get. If he had, he would've said that Shinji would find some real good rye bread and some Bell's in with Nova's Castlevania flick. Rest of the cast stayed put as, Shinji slinked off from the scene as triple jumper in track and field world cup. Once Shinji stormed out of studio floor, evasive effect master bursted in gale of mean laughter.

 

“HÄHHHÄÄHHÄ Ä! Nämä eva pennut ovat aivan mahtavia! Ne voi suistaa tosta vaan raiteiltaan kymmenen sentin kolikolla!/(MALICIUS LAUGHTER!) These eva kiddos are awesome! You can derail these train wrecks just like that, with a ten cent's coin!”

 

“That was really shitty thing from you to do.” Mika said frowning at him.

 

“Mikä niistä? Menin sekaisin laskuissa./ Which of them? I lost the count.” Effects master inquired.

 

“Every one of them. Why you had to bully him like that?” Miko intervened. “Look, he thought he could show the producers what he's made of, and now you just squish those dreams like that.”

 

“Eikö huumorilla olekaan piristävä vaikutus työ ympäristöön?/ Doesn't humor have the refreshing effect to working environment?”

 

“This is about….” Mika began to think what Asuka was to Shinji, and didn't ask that question out loud. Effects master would probably do the annoying thing and complete her sentence with his own choice, what no doubt was `pain in the ass' or something like that. Mika couldn't say either that Asuka was Shinji's female authority because that would make her argument about teasing Shinji completely null & void. “This is about life of Shinji's co-worker.” She finally agreed.

 

“En kai minäkään pysty Asukaa haudasta nostamaan? Se olisi sama kuin joku pyytäisi palauttamaan neitsyytensä: mahdotonta, eikä sitä paitsi kukaan yleensä pyydä kumpaakaan takaisin kun on ne kerran menettänyt./ I can't rise Asuka from her grave, can I? It's same as somebody would ask to give them back their virginity: impossible, and besides no one usually asks either of them back when they've been lost for once.”

 

Mika didn't stop wondering where these failed ambient metaphors kept coming from, as she herself had said fair amount of them during her porn career. She just felt exhausted as her attempt to reason went bust again.

 

“Sitä paitsi te kaksi hihittelitte siinä kun kuiskitte vastaavanlaista toistenne korviin, kun Shinjin kuppi meni nurin./Besides you two kept snickering at the very same thing when you whispered same kind of stuff each other when Shinji's cup went down.” Effect master noted.

 

Mika shrugged and then thaw a bit of smile. “It was bit of fun.”

 

“Sitähän minäkin./That's more like it.” Effects master let his gaze to circle the room and saw that 47 had kept staring his hands work for second or two. “Mitäs mietit?/What are you thinking?”

 

“I'm thinking about the insurance reclaim, and what to put it.” He replied calmly.

 

“Aivan! Työtapaturma!/ That's right! Work hazard!” Effects master cried them out cheerily as they would've been magic words. He faced the crews (47 was once again left out) incredulous faces. ”Saattepa nähdä että se menee läpi./ You'll see that it goes trough.”

 

“Headshot is kind of bad to prove as an accident, especially when it happens to smack right in the middle of this young lady's forehead, and she has no gun powder in her small hands.” Kaji brought out everyone's claims.

 

“Marlon Brandon Lee kuoli melkein samalla tavalla, eikä mistään löytynyt koiraa haudattuna./ Marlon Brandon Lee died almost in the same way and there weren't dog buried in anywhere.” Effect master said decisively.

 

“Could you please say it so that it makes sense in English? Your language is just plain freaky.” Miko had gotten her own quota of odd expressions was full.

 

“Voisin. Vaan jos teen sen, niin ykkönen saarnaa minulle taas puoli tuntia kuinka anglismi turmelee maailman kielten kulttuuria ja millainen heikkous on osoittaa että hallitsee äidinkieltään niin huonosti./ I could. But if I do that, one preaches me about half of an hour how anglism is corrupts world's linguistic culture heritage and what grave weakness is to show that you cope that badly with your mother language.”

 

47 started to get move and began to walk calmly towards the studio exit, where Shinji had scurried minutes ago. Before anyone had time to ask he answered. “I'm going to file the paperwork and then contact the insurance company personally, in case of problems.”

 

Effects master looked how the bald killer clone walked away. Then his eyes were once again set to red head corpse which in living was the source of head ache. As odd metaphors were marching out of the closet, he thought in his head that this pause in “twisting the lance” was only temporary.

 

Nothing is as it used to be. Even death isn't final. Though originally in effects masters' culture background didn't believe death being final, so it didn't come that much of a surprise. If Shinji didn't know that death wasn't final, it was his own problem. Besides .38 would take the pain away, it was meant to do that, temporarily.

 

Then Shinji's problem would be just to come up what to tell about the boss man when he comes from where he was now.

 

“Hei, mitäs mieltä te…/Hey, what do you think of…” Effect master turned to ask his employers what they thought about finality, not knowing that they couldn't right now care less about it.

 

Miko was binding something to Mika's loins. Effect masters brain didn't kept the object as vaguely named as `something'. Anyone who had a fragment of basic intelligence left, and had matured to man's age could tell that Mika was being fitted with purple fake dick, this particular straps was in form of corset.

 

Effect masters eyes were locked to it almost against his will: it was really big, as well detailed with veins and pointing in slight curve upwards. Effect master didn't like that he had to look these details so close, but the thing what really got him nervous was that this member in question was pointing directly at him.

 

“Mitäs…vittua…?/ What…the…fuck?” He managed to chew those words out as his eyes were locked to Mika's crotch, or correctly what was attached on it.

 

“That's right: it's about getting on with the fuck.” Mika struck him the eye.

 

Effect master took few steps back wards and kept his arms raised before him, glancing around him nervously.

 

Mika wondered why she saw first symptoms of panic in the special effect master's appearance. She then let out a gale of laughter. “No, you aren't the lucky one.” Mika corrected-she had no desire to play that sort of games with anyone who hadn't consented to it and wasn't 18 years old.

 

(Had this been a cheap sitcom, like the sponsors suggested, now would be the perfect place to crack a joke how effect master failed the later condition in degree of emotional maturity.)

 

Mika moved her gaze to Kaji and effect master saw this.

 

“Sinä…?/You…?” He managed to spurt out.

 

“Did you think really this Eva business of you and the other producer guy who's never to be found would give me enough money food and shelter?” Kaji didn't know was the question really a question but a statement instead, but that didn't keep him from saying what he said in usual casual tone.

 

“Vai niin…/I see…” This wasn't such a surprise considering that the pieces what they filmed were only occasionally successes, and even then the producers didn't know always why. Side job as an adult entertainment was understandable, but it was bit of shock that Kaji was doing this drastic things.

 

Effect master pointed his finger to Mika's strap on and sputtered bit in his words. “Joten te siis…työnnätte tuon…./So you're…sticking that…” His head began to twitch and first Mika thought that he got a cramp but then she realized he wanted some clarification.

 

“…where sun doesn't shine, and more than once, about an hour.” Mika said softly.

 

That mental image caused effect master countenance to go sour. He squeezed his eyes so hard to shut as if something invisible was causing him tremendous pain.

 

“Did I understand right that you don't want to be here witnessing it?” Mika asked and glance behind her shoulder to see if Miko had finished positioning the same cameras that had picture Asuka getting shot.

 

If Shinji had rushed away from lightning speed in fear of sanctions about what had happened, effect master did better. “Älkää aloittako mitään ennen kuin olen toimistossani!/Don't start anything before I get to my office!” His voice distanced so fast from them that the crew hardly got the end of it.

 

Unlike producer's office, effect masters office was in studio, in the second floor. He was also charge of sets and equipment used on the filming and he oversaw the whole process. That's why he had to stay close to the action. As he slammed the door to shut, and kept leaning his back against it as if sounds might just try to tear it apart.

 

His office was soundproof so he was of the hook. He closed his eyes and breathed deep as the horrors of image what he had seconds ago begin to fade away. He didn't know exactly why his office was soundproofed, but didn't keep him from thanking heavens that it was that way.

 

“Do you want lube or something?” He heard somebody asking with bit of static in the back ground. The voice was fairly loud.

 

“Let's try it this time with out it.” Kaji's voice was recognisable well and effect master opened his eyes and saw the source of voices he heard.

 

In a gage with a padlock there was some sort of short range receiver which had antenna and speaker in it. Gage kept the receiver totally out of reach by anyone who hadn't got the key to open the lock.

 

“Cameras are set, mika.” Woman voice announced.

 

“We're good to go. How you're doing?” deep and warm voice asked.

 

“Nothing to complain, in this company.” Male voice which was Kaji's answered in his playful style.

 

Effect master saw paper note what was set in clearly visible place. It said: “Enjoy the show, woodland failure.” It signed by Asuka.

 

“Our star is ready, let's start as soon as I get to THE position.” Mika's voice crackled trough the speaker.

 

As steps could be heard via the receiver's speaker, effect master began to sum things together. He pressed the doors handle and was shocked when it didn't open. It was jammed.

 

The dismay and despair struck trough effect master's mind as he realized to be trapped. The was only one thing what to say.

 

“Vittu./Fuck.”

 

“ACTION!”

 

 

AN: that was there-more to follow. Oh, if you wonder about the two women they were supposed to be Miko Lee and Mika Tan. They are also as 47 henchmen in Decadence fic. Many of you probably spit every time when you see some Finnish text and wonder why there is it even a bit when the language says `english'.

 

Well, if you're a good kid, you're watching Anime with Japanese audio and English sub titles, why can't you read fan fiction with finnish lines and english translations? Besides every fanfiction writer who's other than English speaking thinks things trough with the culture and language he or she has grown. I just wanted to show how it works in practice.

 

And if somebody doesn't know what's anglism, it's english words invading other languages and that's bad. In my turf words twist like Attituudi or Talentti are not words at all, but monsters bred by anglism what must die.

 

You may complain, but it really isn't worth it.

 

knightyksi@hotmail.com