Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Changing Seasons ❯ Changing Seasons 05 ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: JErosion 
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Romance | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.11.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Romance | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.11.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit work of fan fiction based on the anime and manga Neon Genesis Evangelion by Hideaki Anno and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto and Studio Gainax. hmmm, Billy Witch-doctor feel more comfortable with chicken
Changing Seasons
by: JErosion
He quietly observed her reflection. Though the subject of his observations was completely unaware of this, as she was currently too absorbed with the machine in front of her to even notice. Her expression was one that could have been mistaken for anger. But if you knew Hikari Horaki to any degree, you would recognize it not as any form of indignation but rather as one of careful concentration. However Shinji found that he couldn't just look at her face. Maybe it was just the male part of him that demanded that he allow to let his eyes wander. After all, they were going out. So he was expected to look from time to time. It was only natural.
His gaze left her droppelganger, to examine her profile in detail. His eyes paused briefly on the tiny freckles that dotted her checks, he couldn't help but wonder how her skin felt. He wasn't able to bring himself to touch her there the other day. And lately he had become more and more curious about it. In retrospect what physical contact they had shared sent his heart racing. It made him look forward to the next time they would do so. His eyes shifted further towards her ear and down her neck. He sighed internally. There was just something about necks that he liked. He couldn't explain why.
As he stood right behind her, he noticed the scent of a light perfume. Was she wearing that earlier? He couldn't recall smelling it earlier at school. So maybe she put it on before they left the campus. He leaned forward a little, closed his eyes and slowly took in a deep breath. It was a very nice fragrance, very clean smelling, almost aquatic in nature. It set a flutter in his chest. Reopening his eyes he found himself staring at the soft and temping lines of her neck. He leaned forward just a little more.
Shinji instantly snapped back. Just what the hell am I doing? If he had gone any further, he would have..... He couldn't complete his thought. Hikari suddenly turned his way. There was no way that she could miss the massive blush that had formed on his face. He started to panic as her left hand whipped up. But instead of backhanding him, as he expected. She brought it back down to tap a flashing button on the console in front of her. He was so fixated on her, that he almost forgot what they were doing here in the first place. And fortunately she was so caught up with the machine in front of her, that she completely missed his movements. Then again, she had spent the better part of the last minute carefully nudging the controller in front of her, honing her aim. And from the looks of things, her time was spent as the chrome grapple inside the machine descended upon and successfully puck out a stuffed panda, from the menagerie of prizes. This happened to be her first try.
"um, Your pretty good at that."
Pulling her prize from the drop bin, she turn back to him his way with a soft smile.
"Yeah, I can get almost anything if it's in the right position. But a majority of the prizes are impossible to get. The trick is to know which ones you can grab and which ones you can't."
"Oh, and how do you learn that?"
"I spent alot of yen one summer."
Shinji chuckled.
"I'm not sure if I could stick with something like that long enough to learn how."
"Good. We all have our special skills. And I want to keep a monopoly on this one."
Shinji laughed again. Special skills. She can snatch prizes out of an arcade game, he could command a gaint biomechanical robot to catch thousand ton aliens falling from the sky.
"So what do you do with your winnings?" He had this picture forming in his head, of her room being covered floor to ceiling with stuff animals.
"I give most of them away, but the really good ones I save for Nozomi."
They resumed their walking. Slowing heading towards their respective homes. The seismic activity cause by the last angel caused a good deal of damage to the city's rail lines. As a result they had rerouted much of the rail traffic in order to meet the needs of Tokyo-3's many commuters. While the train could take them home quicker, it would be a very crowded and uncomfortable. It was inconventinet, but understandable. Luckily it was nice out today. And it also was a good excuse for the both of them to spend time together.
He looked over to the panda she was holding, and then quickly moved his vision elsewhere since she was holding it to her chest.
"You know I'm going to have to meet sisters someday." he brought up, hoping she didn't catch him looking at anything she might consider inappropriate. Even though they were going out, he wasn't sure how she would take it. Maybe he was so used to the way things were at his apartment, he expected Hikari to react the same way. There it didn't matter how innocent a glance was, if you were found out, you would be the recipient of either a great amount of teasing or a fist to the side of your head.
Hikari never saw where he just happen to be looking. She was distracted by a small shop up ahead. But when he asked his question she tightened her hold she had on the stuffed animal.
"Yeah... they want to meet you too."
But I don't think I ready for you to. She a loved her sisters. But she wanted to keep Shinji for herself, if just for a little while longer. It wasn't though they would do anything to him. Well, Nozomi would just do her best to try to embarass the hell out of me. Kodama was another story, chances are if left alone with him long enough she might do or say something perverted. She was very uninhibited. She couldn't count the number of times she had come home to find that she had brought some boy up to her room. Usually found out she while on her way to her own room, while passing her door you would suddenly hear the whispers of a male voice. The worst part was that she never whispered back. Did she have any idea how embarassing it was to her hear giggle 'Oh? You want to do it back there?'
Hikari shuddered. She really didn't want to think about what her sister did or where she put 'it'. She sighed, it wasn't like Kodama would try to have sex with Shinji. She didn't date guys younger than her. She'd probably just say some of her perverted stuff. She gave the panda a tighter hug before allowing her right arm to return to her side. But that was the thing. Kodama's lack of restraint, reminded her that both she a Shinji hadn't shared a real hug or even a kiss yet. She would like to. But she was so unsure on how to go about to do such things. And weren't guys were suppost to be the aggressor in those situations?
She could ask Kodama. But she was pretty sure that any advice Kodama gave her, would probably contain 'too much information' and would also be the worst thing to do. She'd probably tell her to jump him. And she wasn't like that. And really neither was Shinji. There were times when he acted as though physical contact might hurt him. It lead her to question if something had happened to him. While they had talked about alot of things, but there were just some subjects they had completely danced around. She noticed that he became uncomfortable when it came to talking about his family. She had talked about her father and her sisters, minus their more infuriating personality quirks. But when it came to Shinji it was almost like he was an orphan. He had no connections to what relatives he had. He mentioned having stayed with an aunt and uncle before coming to Tokyo 3. But other than telling her that he was a teacher and she was a housewife, he didn't say anything else about them. And it seemed that Shinji had even less to say about his father. She knew more about him though Asuka, who wouldn't hesitate to complain about him playing favorites with both Ayanami and Shinji. However if he was really 'playing favorites' as she said, wouldn't Shinji be more open when it came to talking about him. But she noticed that Shinji wouldn't talk about was his mother at all. Which was entirely fine by her. She really didn't want to talk hers either.
It was still a bit of a sore subject in the Horaki household, even though it had been almost four years now. Between helping dad around the house and being an archor for Nozomi, she never truely got the chance to grieve for her. Even when things got better and she didn't have to send all night holding Nozomi, she still didn't cry. Sometimes she wondered if dad did. Knowing him, it was doubtful that he even allowed himself to. He had never been quite the same since she died. Well,... since both of them died.
It was then that Hikari noticed that her fingers were no longer alone. Was she so distracted she failed to noticed Shinji taking hold of her hand? As is he was looking at her. But she knew why.Damn it, why did I have to think about them? She could feel the emotions stirring inside her, pushing unwanted tears to the surface. Thinking about mom and what happened did that sometimes. Usually it was spontaneous, a familiar smell or nostalgic thought would trigger tears. Maybe this was some divine punishment for not crying during the funeral. Or maybe it was because of Shinji. She had already cried more times in his presence twice than she had for the rest of the year.
"um, Hikari? Are you alright?"
She smiled at him, and squeezed his hand. She didn't say a word, she just moved into him. Resting her head on his shoulder. She felt a need to be closer to him. To try and do something before she started bawling like an idiot. She didn't know how he would take it. He seemed so skittish about these things. Yet to her suprise and delight, he reacted in spectacular fashion, by moving his free arm to encircled her waist and pulled her closer. Her arms and the panda were squashed between them.
To Shinji, this sort of intimacy felt strange. His only reference to such a situation, was a vague memory involving his mother. He released her hand and wrap his other arm around her. She only seemed to sink further into the embrace, almost snuggling against him. Drying her eyes with his shirt.
"Hikari?" he asked again. His voice didn't rise above a whisper, it didn't have to since he was so close to her ear. "It's alright... um, ... come on... uh,... pretty girls shouldn't cry." Shinji found himself rolling his own eyes at what he just said. God, that was lame.
At that moment Hikari couldn't share her boyfriend's opinion. Actually the only words going though her mind was, 'Oh'. The moment his breath and words touched her ear, a tremor ran down her spine and settled deep within her abdomen. It made her legs and thighs tremble together. And then he said she was pretty again. The first time he said it, it made her heart soar. Hearing him whisper it into her ear, made her want to...... Her eye's snapped open. Did I actually just think that? Since when did I become such a prevert. That was something Kodama would do with a guy while dancing in a club. Of coarse the way she danced was just a few layers of clothing away from sex anyway. She was her sister so maybe this sort of thing was genetic. But she never had these sort of thoughts about a guy before. Honestly, Shinji wasn't the hottest looking guy at school, but there was just something about him that made her think that way. She was suddenly filled all sorts of new sensations and desires, that both scared and excited her. Part of her wanted to push herself away from him, and another part of her wanted to drag Shinji off to some private place to dry-hump him. She took a deep breath. But she wasn't really ready for that sort of thing.
She slowly extracted herself from him. She didn't want to, but a little distance was need to try to quell the rising heat in her body. Actually she would have to do that again sometime. She found his chest to be quite comfortable. But she couldn't risk him talking to her ear anymore. Even thinking about him doing it again made her face turn redder than it already was. She took his hand again and gave him a small, yet grateful smile. The memories that nearly made her cry were very far away now.
"Thanks."
Shinji blushed. Not because of her thanking him, but because of the look in her eyes. There was something there that made his heart beat faster. He couldn't explain what it was, but it had a pull on him. Actually he felt an urge to kiss her. Yet again he had no reference for this sort of thing. Besides Japan had certain rules when it came to such display's of affection. It was something you just didn't do in public. As it were they seemed to gathered an audience with some of the nearby pedestrians. This wasn't lost on Hikari either, as she turned her head in the directon of a group of girls from their school coming out of a nearby bakery.
With just a glance at each other both of them restarted their walking with haste. A few of those girls watched them as they pasted. They always knew they wouldn't be able to keep there relationship a secret forever. It would have been nice. But there was nothign they could do. It was just something they would have to deal with later. But for now it would just be the two of them. And really nothing else truelly mattered.
She smiled lightly looking at the man in front of her. He was leaning forwarded in his chair. His head was proped up on one arm, reading the documents infront of him. An audio file was sent from Nerv's first branch in Massachusetts. Ritsuko had already listened to it when it had arrived earlier that day. It was in english, the reports that came with it were just transcripts writen in Japanese. They weren't necessary for her, since she had a firm grasp of the english language. In a chair at the other side of the office was the Sub-Commander, he was occupying himself with other documents. His was good enough that he could speak it without the slightest traces of an accent. The written report was more for Gendo's benifit than theirs. Foreign languages were never his strong point. He knew enough to get by, but he would offent need a person to repeat themselves or to talk slower. But watching him she could tell that he really wasn't reading along. He just stared at the paper with unmoving and unfocused eyes.
She had been looking forward to seeing him again. With the expedition and the recovery of the lance, they hadn't been intimate in some time. A little over three weeks by her count. It wasn't like she needed it all of the time. But even she had certain limits. Sure she could take care of herself if need be. But that was but a pale substitution for him. When it came to emotional support he was rather lacking, if not negligent. But in the bedroom he did not disappoint. Gendo Ikari some serious talent. He didn't just make her to her climax, he made her cum. Even seeing him after a short absence, just reminded her of how badly she wanted him.
But sex wasn't the only reason why she wanted to see him. No there was something else, something that filled her with dread. Honestly she wasn't sure yet. Hell she was too scared to test herself. But the thing that frightened her the most was how he might react if it was true. But she couldn't say anything until she knew for sure. She couldn't just walk up to him and tell him she was late.
She had the pill. But with the angels, and the repairs dragging on Unit-Two, she just simply forgot to take it. It's wasn't because she didn't want to, it was just that when you fall out of a routine it's hard to get back into it. It was like that book she started two years ago and never finished or that trip to go see her grandmother she kept putting off. But what now? She could keep telling herself she wasn't pregnant, and try to convice herself that the nausea that she felt in the past few mornings were the product of bad coffee and stress. But even then the lies were sounding hollow.
And if she was pregnant, then what? What of their relationship? She knew that she had fallen in love with him. But she also knew that his heart truely belonged to another. And how could anyone, pregnant or not, compete with the dead? Fond memories and grief can blind someone to the way someone truely was. And few people are ever willing to speak ill of the deceased. As a memory, a person could always remain beautiful, and pure. Ritsuko was sure that is what Yui Ikari was to him. Cherished and flawless, in such a way he would never see her as. Gendo Ikari was chasing after a ghost.
"Doctor, are you alright?"
"ah, Yes." she coughed, snapping back to attention.
Damnit. She had let her mind wander for too long. The recording had come to a stop, and she was asked a question. Both Ikari and the professor were looking at her with expectant eyes. She missed what she had been asked.
"I'm s-sorry, it's rather.... late."
"I asked what your opinion of Unit Three was?" Gendo repeated. He removed his glasses and began to rub the bridge of his nose.
"w-Well the operational data the Americans sent is highly promising. If assigned a pilot with training and skill comparable to that of the second child, it could easily flatten it's predecessors in hand-to-hand combat."
"It's not surprising, considering they have based both of their units on Unit-01's design." the commander spoke, not bothing to open his eyes.
Ritsuko felt a little unsure if she should feel resentment for his stament. Not so much of what he said but how he said it. There was a note of pride for his late wife's work. Then again she used different materials as a base. And Ritsuko always considered it a smart move to omit certain organs out of Unit-00. Seriously who would want to build a monster the size of a skyscraper with a fully functioning digestive track?
"Even though it has been completed, it is doubtful they will be willing to release Unit-03 to us, until the fourth is comp...." The professor's voice died off.
"Is something wrong sensei?" Gendo sat up in his chair. It wasn't oftend that his old teacher failed to complete his sentences.
It took a moment for Fuyutsuki to respond "Oh no, not at all... it's just a little suprising that's all. It seems that your son has found himself a girlfriend." His face took on a vague and reminiscent smile.
Ritsuko watched with some interest as Gendo fished out Shinji's Section 2 file. Normally the only one he ever bothered to really look at was the First Child's. In the end it was only her that really mattered. He was staking the future of the world on her. Or at least his vision of the world, whatever that might be. In all regards Rei came first, before her and before his own son. She wasn't blind she knew the face the first child had. And the favoritism he showed her, nurtured a budding hate for the blue haired girl. Every time he smilied at her, or made some sort physical contact with the First in her presence, her jealousy grew. She was just the reflection of that ghost.
There were times that she wished death on the girl. And with her position in Nerv, she could make it happen. It would be really easy for her to do it. She could kill Rei and then destroy all of her backups in less than five minutes. There would be no way she would be able to get away with something like it. He would probably execute me on the spot. No, that wouldn't do me much good. Subconsciously her thumb began to rub her lower belly. Yet she had to wonder if that little marionette would fight her if she did try.
"Horaki?" the commander asked, after a pause.
"Yes, she is one of the daughters of one of our engineers in Section 3. I believe his name is Yoshino."
"He headed the team that put the positron canon together for the Major's Operation Yashima" Ritsuko added, returning her focus back to him.
"Has there been any recent changes in his Sync Ratio?"
Ritsuko shook her head.
"No, his numbers are still increasing, according to Magi projections."
Silence once again took hold of the office, to Ritsuko it looked as though he debating something in his head. He turned to old man. "I want Section-2 to start monitoring the girl. And... notify the father." He turned back in Ritsuko. "I want you to watch his sync ratio more closely. Note any anomalies with his numbers and compare them with the Section-2's logs. There is currently no need to interfere, but he will need to know that if this relationship has a negitive impact on his piloting, there will be certain repercussions."
"Should I speak with him?" the sub-commander asked, he was looking a little more haggared that usual.
To both there suprise, they saw him shake his head.
"No, I'll do it. It may do some good to remind him that he is a pilot, and that he has certain responsiblities. I have no need for children right now. And if having someone outside of Nerv, gives him the will and focus to fight, I will not oppose it."
"My, My. You almost sounded fatherly."
Gendo smirked at the older man.
"I suppose, I should act like one at least once every decade."
The old man shook his head as he stood up, his back popping in the process. Despite the jovial tones in their voice, there was no humor in either's eyes. The words exchanged was merely another way of saying. 'Gendo Ikari, you are a failure as a father', and 'I know.' He had tried many of times to encourage the man to make some sort of reconciliation with his son. Gendo was a man of strange contradictions. He could stand before and spit in the very eye of god. Yet he ran away from the duty of being a parent. He sighed. "Well as interesting as this may be, there is nothing left that can't wait until tomorrow." He was about to make another comment that was along the lines of 'Don't stay up too late kids.' When the doctor stood up with him.
Her heart was beating rapidly. Despite her sexual needs, she had to get out of the room. What he had said struck too close to her fears. He had no need of children. And with the way her brain was working, that translated into him not having a need for her.
"I agree....uh... there is... um, are tests I must see to."
Kozu Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow. He was well aware of their after hours activites. It was unlike her to want to leave so quickly. Honestly he half expected her to try and arrange a 'meeting' before this one. And as much as it was suprise to him that she would do this, he could tell it suprised Ikari as well. But after a moments hesitation he nodded, and she quickly left the room. Gendo's eye's followed her all the way until the door closed. The professor was left trying to figure out if the look on his face was disappointed. Ritsuko Akagi was an intelligent and attractive woman. Though her smoking habits were a little unbecoming. Yet with his goals and Seele's growing closer, he had to wonder how much his former student would allow himself to care for the woman.
It was a sad state of the world, and if anything it was highly ironic. The Human Completion project was meant to bring the whole of mankind together. And the people who were at the helm of this endeavor were all men who thaa spent a majority of their lives distancing themselves from others. These men are nothing but fools. He then thought of the photograph in the folder, the one Shinji and the girl. In his opinion that would always be true completion. And that was the hope mankind needed.
Changing Seasons
by: JErosion
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Chapter 05He quietly observed her reflection. Though the subject of his observations was completely unaware of this, as she was currently too absorbed with the machine in front of her to even notice. Her expression was one that could have been mistaken for anger. But if you knew Hikari Horaki to any degree, you would recognize it not as any form of indignation but rather as one of careful concentration. However Shinji found that he couldn't just look at her face. Maybe it was just the male part of him that demanded that he allow to let his eyes wander. After all, they were going out. So he was expected to look from time to time. It was only natural.
His gaze left her droppelganger, to examine her profile in detail. His eyes paused briefly on the tiny freckles that dotted her checks, he couldn't help but wonder how her skin felt. He wasn't able to bring himself to touch her there the other day. And lately he had become more and more curious about it. In retrospect what physical contact they had shared sent his heart racing. It made him look forward to the next time they would do so. His eyes shifted further towards her ear and down her neck. He sighed internally. There was just something about necks that he liked. He couldn't explain why.
As he stood right behind her, he noticed the scent of a light perfume. Was she wearing that earlier? He couldn't recall smelling it earlier at school. So maybe she put it on before they left the campus. He leaned forward a little, closed his eyes and slowly took in a deep breath. It was a very nice fragrance, very clean smelling, almost aquatic in nature. It set a flutter in his chest. Reopening his eyes he found himself staring at the soft and temping lines of her neck. He leaned forward just a little more.
Shinji instantly snapped back. Just what the hell am I doing? If he had gone any further, he would have..... He couldn't complete his thought. Hikari suddenly turned his way. There was no way that she could miss the massive blush that had formed on his face. He started to panic as her left hand whipped up. But instead of backhanding him, as he expected. She brought it back down to tap a flashing button on the console in front of her. He was so fixated on her, that he almost forgot what they were doing here in the first place. And fortunately she was so caught up with the machine in front of her, that she completely missed his movements. Then again, she had spent the better part of the last minute carefully nudging the controller in front of her, honing her aim. And from the looks of things, her time was spent as the chrome grapple inside the machine descended upon and successfully puck out a stuffed panda, from the menagerie of prizes. This happened to be her first try.
"um, Your pretty good at that."
Pulling her prize from the drop bin, she turn back to him his way with a soft smile.
"Yeah, I can get almost anything if it's in the right position. But a majority of the prizes are impossible to get. The trick is to know which ones you can grab and which ones you can't."
"Oh, and how do you learn that?"
"I spent alot of yen one summer."
Shinji chuckled.
"I'm not sure if I could stick with something like that long enough to learn how."
"Good. We all have our special skills. And I want to keep a monopoly on this one."
Shinji laughed again. Special skills. She can snatch prizes out of an arcade game, he could command a gaint biomechanical robot to catch thousand ton aliens falling from the sky.
"So what do you do with your winnings?" He had this picture forming in his head, of her room being covered floor to ceiling with stuff animals.
"I give most of them away, but the really good ones I save for Nozomi."
They resumed their walking. Slowing heading towards their respective homes. The seismic activity cause by the last angel caused a good deal of damage to the city's rail lines. As a result they had rerouted much of the rail traffic in order to meet the needs of Tokyo-3's many commuters. While the train could take them home quicker, it would be a very crowded and uncomfortable. It was inconventinet, but understandable. Luckily it was nice out today. And it also was a good excuse for the both of them to spend time together.
He looked over to the panda she was holding, and then quickly moved his vision elsewhere since she was holding it to her chest.
"You know I'm going to have to meet sisters someday." he brought up, hoping she didn't catch him looking at anything she might consider inappropriate. Even though they were going out, he wasn't sure how she would take it. Maybe he was so used to the way things were at his apartment, he expected Hikari to react the same way. There it didn't matter how innocent a glance was, if you were found out, you would be the recipient of either a great amount of teasing or a fist to the side of your head.
Hikari never saw where he just happen to be looking. She was distracted by a small shop up ahead. But when he asked his question she tightened her hold she had on the stuffed animal.
"Yeah... they want to meet you too."
But I don't think I ready for you to. She a loved her sisters. But she wanted to keep Shinji for herself, if just for a little while longer. It wasn't though they would do anything to him. Well, Nozomi would just do her best to try to embarass the hell out of me. Kodama was another story, chances are if left alone with him long enough she might do or say something perverted. She was very uninhibited. She couldn't count the number of times she had come home to find that she had brought some boy up to her room. Usually found out she while on her way to her own room, while passing her door you would suddenly hear the whispers of a male voice. The worst part was that she never whispered back. Did she have any idea how embarassing it was to her hear giggle 'Oh? You want to do it back there?'
Hikari shuddered. She really didn't want to think about what her sister did or where she put 'it'. She sighed, it wasn't like Kodama would try to have sex with Shinji. She didn't date guys younger than her. She'd probably just say some of her perverted stuff. She gave the panda a tighter hug before allowing her right arm to return to her side. But that was the thing. Kodama's lack of restraint, reminded her that both she a Shinji hadn't shared a real hug or even a kiss yet. She would like to. But she was so unsure on how to go about to do such things. And weren't guys were suppost to be the aggressor in those situations?
She could ask Kodama. But she was pretty sure that any advice Kodama gave her, would probably contain 'too much information' and would also be the worst thing to do. She'd probably tell her to jump him. And she wasn't like that. And really neither was Shinji. There were times when he acted as though physical contact might hurt him. It lead her to question if something had happened to him. While they had talked about alot of things, but there were just some subjects they had completely danced around. She noticed that he became uncomfortable when it came to talking about his family. She had talked about her father and her sisters, minus their more infuriating personality quirks. But when it came to Shinji it was almost like he was an orphan. He had no connections to what relatives he had. He mentioned having stayed with an aunt and uncle before coming to Tokyo 3. But other than telling her that he was a teacher and she was a housewife, he didn't say anything else about them. And it seemed that Shinji had even less to say about his father. She knew more about him though Asuka, who wouldn't hesitate to complain about him playing favorites with both Ayanami and Shinji. However if he was really 'playing favorites' as she said, wouldn't Shinji be more open when it came to talking about him. But she noticed that Shinji wouldn't talk about was his mother at all. Which was entirely fine by her. She really didn't want to talk hers either.
It was still a bit of a sore subject in the Horaki household, even though it had been almost four years now. Between helping dad around the house and being an archor for Nozomi, she never truely got the chance to grieve for her. Even when things got better and she didn't have to send all night holding Nozomi, she still didn't cry. Sometimes she wondered if dad did. Knowing him, it was doubtful that he even allowed himself to. He had never been quite the same since she died. Well,... since both of them died.
It was then that Hikari noticed that her fingers were no longer alone. Was she so distracted she failed to noticed Shinji taking hold of her hand? As is he was looking at her. But she knew why.Damn it, why did I have to think about them? She could feel the emotions stirring inside her, pushing unwanted tears to the surface. Thinking about mom and what happened did that sometimes. Usually it was spontaneous, a familiar smell or nostalgic thought would trigger tears. Maybe this was some divine punishment for not crying during the funeral. Or maybe it was because of Shinji. She had already cried more times in his presence twice than she had for the rest of the year.
"um, Hikari? Are you alright?"
She smiled at him, and squeezed his hand. She didn't say a word, she just moved into him. Resting her head on his shoulder. She felt a need to be closer to him. To try and do something before she started bawling like an idiot. She didn't know how he would take it. He seemed so skittish about these things. Yet to her suprise and delight, he reacted in spectacular fashion, by moving his free arm to encircled her waist and pulled her closer. Her arms and the panda were squashed between them.
To Shinji, this sort of intimacy felt strange. His only reference to such a situation, was a vague memory involving his mother. He released her hand and wrap his other arm around her. She only seemed to sink further into the embrace, almost snuggling against him. Drying her eyes with his shirt.
"Hikari?" he asked again. His voice didn't rise above a whisper, it didn't have to since he was so close to her ear. "It's alright... um, ... come on... uh,... pretty girls shouldn't cry." Shinji found himself rolling his own eyes at what he just said. God, that was lame.
At that moment Hikari couldn't share her boyfriend's opinion. Actually the only words going though her mind was, 'Oh'. The moment his breath and words touched her ear, a tremor ran down her spine and settled deep within her abdomen. It made her legs and thighs tremble together. And then he said she was pretty again. The first time he said it, it made her heart soar. Hearing him whisper it into her ear, made her want to...... Her eye's snapped open. Did I actually just think that? Since when did I become such a prevert. That was something Kodama would do with a guy while dancing in a club. Of coarse the way she danced was just a few layers of clothing away from sex anyway. She was her sister so maybe this sort of thing was genetic. But she never had these sort of thoughts about a guy before. Honestly, Shinji wasn't the hottest looking guy at school, but there was just something about him that made her think that way. She was suddenly filled all sorts of new sensations and desires, that both scared and excited her. Part of her wanted to push herself away from him, and another part of her wanted to drag Shinji off to some private place to dry-hump him. She took a deep breath. But she wasn't really ready for that sort of thing.
She slowly extracted herself from him. She didn't want to, but a little distance was need to try to quell the rising heat in her body. Actually she would have to do that again sometime. She found his chest to be quite comfortable. But she couldn't risk him talking to her ear anymore. Even thinking about him doing it again made her face turn redder than it already was. She took his hand again and gave him a small, yet grateful smile. The memories that nearly made her cry were very far away now.
"Thanks."
Shinji blushed. Not because of her thanking him, but because of the look in her eyes. There was something there that made his heart beat faster. He couldn't explain what it was, but it had a pull on him. Actually he felt an urge to kiss her. Yet again he had no reference for this sort of thing. Besides Japan had certain rules when it came to such display's of affection. It was something you just didn't do in public. As it were they seemed to gathered an audience with some of the nearby pedestrians. This wasn't lost on Hikari either, as she turned her head in the directon of a group of girls from their school coming out of a nearby bakery.
With just a glance at each other both of them restarted their walking with haste. A few of those girls watched them as they pasted. They always knew they wouldn't be able to keep there relationship a secret forever. It would have been nice. But there was nothign they could do. It was just something they would have to deal with later. But for now it would just be the two of them. And really nothing else truelly mattered.
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Hone stly both of them looked dead on their feet. Then again crossing twelve time zones and an equator will do that. But with the angel attack and the recovery of the lance, there was just some things that couldn't wait. At least they were meeting in the small office. If anything it was the exact opposite of the one Gendo kept upstairs. It was cramped and disorganized. Paper work layed scattered across a small oak desk. One wall had a heavy bookcase that was cramed with everything from operational manuals to religious texts. The opposite wall was occupied by a large brown sofa. It served as a bed on days when going home was too much trouble. But most of all Ritsuko liked that this office because it reflected a warmth that it's owner rarely showed.She smiled lightly looking at the man in front of her. He was leaning forwarded in his chair. His head was proped up on one arm, reading the documents infront of him. An audio file was sent from Nerv's first branch in Massachusetts. Ritsuko had already listened to it when it had arrived earlier that day. It was in english, the reports that came with it were just transcripts writen in Japanese. They weren't necessary for her, since she had a firm grasp of the english language. In a chair at the other side of the office was the Sub-Commander, he was occupying himself with other documents. His was good enough that he could speak it without the slightest traces of an accent. The written report was more for Gendo's benifit than theirs. Foreign languages were never his strong point. He knew enough to get by, but he would offent need a person to repeat themselves or to talk slower. But watching him she could tell that he really wasn't reading along. He just stared at the paper with unmoving and unfocused eyes.
She had been looking forward to seeing him again. With the expedition and the recovery of the lance, they hadn't been intimate in some time. A little over three weeks by her count. It wasn't like she needed it all of the time. But even she had certain limits. Sure she could take care of herself if need be. But that was but a pale substitution for him. When it came to emotional support he was rather lacking, if not negligent. But in the bedroom he did not disappoint. Gendo Ikari some serious talent. He didn't just make her to her climax, he made her cum. Even seeing him after a short absence, just reminded her of how badly she wanted him.
But sex wasn't the only reason why she wanted to see him. No there was something else, something that filled her with dread. Honestly she wasn't sure yet. Hell she was too scared to test herself. But the thing that frightened her the most was how he might react if it was true. But she couldn't say anything until she knew for sure. She couldn't just walk up to him and tell him she was late.
She had the pill. But with the angels, and the repairs dragging on Unit-Two, she just simply forgot to take it. It's wasn't because she didn't want to, it was just that when you fall out of a routine it's hard to get back into it. It was like that book she started two years ago and never finished or that trip to go see her grandmother she kept putting off. But what now? She could keep telling herself she wasn't pregnant, and try to convice herself that the nausea that she felt in the past few mornings were the product of bad coffee and stress. But even then the lies were sounding hollow.
And if she was pregnant, then what? What of their relationship? She knew that she had fallen in love with him. But she also knew that his heart truely belonged to another. And how could anyone, pregnant or not, compete with the dead? Fond memories and grief can blind someone to the way someone truely was. And few people are ever willing to speak ill of the deceased. As a memory, a person could always remain beautiful, and pure. Ritsuko was sure that is what Yui Ikari was to him. Cherished and flawless, in such a way he would never see her as. Gendo Ikari was chasing after a ghost.
"Doctor, are you alright?"
"ah, Yes." she coughed, snapping back to attention.
Damnit. She had let her mind wander for too long. The recording had come to a stop, and she was asked a question. Both Ikari and the professor were looking at her with expectant eyes. She missed what she had been asked.
"I'm s-sorry, it's rather.... late."
"I asked what your opinion of Unit Three was?" Gendo repeated. He removed his glasses and began to rub the bridge of his nose.
"w-Well the operational data the Americans sent is highly promising. If assigned a pilot with training and skill comparable to that of the second child, it could easily flatten it's predecessors in hand-to-hand combat."
"It's not surprising, considering they have based both of their units on Unit-01's design." the commander spoke, not bothing to open his eyes.
Ritsuko felt a little unsure if she should feel resentment for his stament. Not so much of what he said but how he said it. There was a note of pride for his late wife's work. Then again she used different materials as a base. And Ritsuko always considered it a smart move to omit certain organs out of Unit-00. Seriously who would want to build a monster the size of a skyscraper with a fully functioning digestive track?
"Even though it has been completed, it is doubtful they will be willing to release Unit-03 to us, until the fourth is comp...." The professor's voice died off.
"Is something wrong sensei?" Gendo sat up in his chair. It wasn't oftend that his old teacher failed to complete his sentences.
It took a moment for Fuyutsuki to respond "Oh no, not at all... it's just a little suprising that's all. It seems that your son has found himself a girlfriend." His face took on a vague and reminiscent smile.
Ritsuko watched with some interest as Gendo fished out Shinji's Section 2 file. Normally the only one he ever bothered to really look at was the First Child's. In the end it was only her that really mattered. He was staking the future of the world on her. Or at least his vision of the world, whatever that might be. In all regards Rei came first, before her and before his own son. She wasn't blind she knew the face the first child had. And the favoritism he showed her, nurtured a budding hate for the blue haired girl. Every time he smilied at her, or made some sort physical contact with the First in her presence, her jealousy grew. She was just the reflection of that ghost.
There were times that she wished death on the girl. And with her position in Nerv, she could make it happen. It would be really easy for her to do it. She could kill Rei and then destroy all of her backups in less than five minutes. There would be no way she would be able to get away with something like it. He would probably execute me on the spot. No, that wouldn't do me much good. Subconsciously her thumb began to rub her lower belly. Yet she had to wonder if that little marionette would fight her if she did try.
"Horaki?" the commander asked, after a pause.
"Yes, she is one of the daughters of one of our engineers in Section 3. I believe his name is Yoshino."
"He headed the team that put the positron canon together for the Major's Operation Yashima" Ritsuko added, returning her focus back to him.
"Has there been any recent changes in his Sync Ratio?"
Ritsuko shook her head.
"No, his numbers are still increasing, according to Magi projections."
Silence once again took hold of the office, to Ritsuko it looked as though he debating something in his head. He turned to old man. "I want Section-2 to start monitoring the girl. And... notify the father." He turned back in Ritsuko. "I want you to watch his sync ratio more closely. Note any anomalies with his numbers and compare them with the Section-2's logs. There is currently no need to interfere, but he will need to know that if this relationship has a negitive impact on his piloting, there will be certain repercussions."
"Should I speak with him?" the sub-commander asked, he was looking a little more haggared that usual.
To both there suprise, they saw him shake his head.
"No, I'll do it. It may do some good to remind him that he is a pilot, and that he has certain responsiblities. I have no need for children right now. And if having someone outside of Nerv, gives him the will and focus to fight, I will not oppose it."
"My, My. You almost sounded fatherly."
Gendo smirked at the older man.
"I suppose, I should act like one at least once every decade."
The old man shook his head as he stood up, his back popping in the process. Despite the jovial tones in their voice, there was no humor in either's eyes. The words exchanged was merely another way of saying. 'Gendo Ikari, you are a failure as a father', and 'I know.' He had tried many of times to encourage the man to make some sort of reconciliation with his son. Gendo was a man of strange contradictions. He could stand before and spit in the very eye of god. Yet he ran away from the duty of being a parent. He sighed. "Well as interesting as this may be, there is nothing left that can't wait until tomorrow." He was about to make another comment that was along the lines of 'Don't stay up too late kids.' When the doctor stood up with him.
Her heart was beating rapidly. Despite her sexual needs, she had to get out of the room. What he had said struck too close to her fears. He had no need of children. And with the way her brain was working, that translated into him not having a need for her.
"I agree....uh... there is... um, are tests I must see to."
Kozu Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow. He was well aware of their after hours activites. It was unlike her to want to leave so quickly. Honestly he half expected her to try and arrange a 'meeting' before this one. And as much as it was suprise to him that she would do this, he could tell it suprised Ikari as well. But after a moments hesitation he nodded, and she quickly left the room. Gendo's eye's followed her all the way until the door closed. The professor was left trying to figure out if the look on his face was disappointed. Ritsuko Akagi was an intelligent and attractive woman. Though her smoking habits were a little unbecoming. Yet with his goals and Seele's growing closer, he had to wonder how much his former student would allow himself to care for the woman.
It was a sad state of the world, and if anything it was highly ironic. The Human Completion project was meant to bring the whole of mankind together. And the people who were at the helm of this endeavor were all men who thaa spent a majority of their lives distancing themselves from others. These men are nothing but fools. He then thought of the photograph in the folder, the one Shinji and the girl. In his opinion that would always be true completion. And that was the hope mankind needed.
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Author's note: It's been a while. No excuse really. I've been under the spell of writers block. This is the first time I've deviated from the Hikari/Shinji formula. It's just an Idea I've been kicking around. As for the last chapter. Kensuke being into futunari doesn't really seem so odd, I know a few girls that are into that stuff. And as for Touji and his accent, its going to stay. I have too much fun writing his dialogue. They will be back in like a couple of chapters.