Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Evangelion - Three Futons ❯ A Fatal Lack! ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

*** Episode Nine Side story - 4. A Fatal Lack! ***


I stared up, into the sky. It was cloudless and silent. Shades of red and clear sea-green, just a hint of shadows eating the edges of the horizon as the sun set. Older people said it was the wrong color now; things were different before the Second Impact.

Then again, those who had lived through the past always said things like that.

"Yo, Shinji." I tilted my head back and looked behind me as I lay on the roof of the school - Suzuhara. An odd viewpoint; everything turned upside down.

I waved, and continued staring into the empty early evening expanse.

Kensuke's face popped into view above me. "You know, school's over." He held his glasses securely in place with his middle finger as he looked down. "You don't have to hide out here, anymore."

Aida's blonde storm of hair always defied gravity. He didn't seem that odd, upside down.

I heard Suzuhara sit down, rattling against the fence surrounding the roof. He had his black jacket and red tie off already, working his buttons out from around his neck.

"Damn, man. Class rep really had it in for me today."

Ah. Touji had cleaning duty and conveniently forgot again. I could smell a whiff of chalk off him. He'd probably gotten a face full of blackboard eraser.

"You just forgot the schedule." Kensuke confirmed my suspicion with his off-pitch, changing voice.

I sat up and looked at them. They said nothing to me about today.

Good friends.

"You know, Shinji. We can always hang out again at my place." Kensuke still had everything on; his book bag was in hand. As though he were coming to school, rather than going.

"Nah," I muttered. "Maybe later. You know the score."

Besides, I added mentally, a tent in the mountains does not count as "your place." Especially when you have fun re-enacting war... by yourself.

Not that your campfire cooking is bad.

"You got off scot-free," Touji said. "Teacher didn't say jack when you left."

If they didn't report me truant right then, maybe I could go home without Misato worrying about me. Without being scolded, saying I'd run away again. Still, I'd done it. Made me feel a bit worse, really.

I was making everyone worry about me, now.

I leaned back. "That helps, but I still have stuff I need to deal with."

"Yeah," Touji said. "Hey, you shoulda seen old flame-head when you bolted."

Coward, she'd say. Be a man, she'd say. I'd pay for this one at the end of a sword.

Kensuke piped up. "She was definitely at a loss after your reaction. It was the first time I've seen Asuka look like she was going to cry."

"What?!" That's not Asuka. Confusion set in. "I gotta go."

Touji pulled me up. He ran his hands over his short, spiky hair. "I'd watch out. That was a weird deal, today." He smirked. "You get her back for that crap she pulled."

I couldn't do that. I knew what she thought, part of it. Not that I wasn't sore about it - I was going to be sore every time I used the bathroom, for a while.

But... it was my fault.

Cutting class like that, I'd missed out too much. My grades were scraping the bottom of the barrel. I needed help.

Everything I was missing, Ayanami also missed out on. Test was Thursday. Battle was Friday. THAT'S a tight schedule.

"Hey, Kensuke. Can I get your notes?"

He nodded. Had them ready already. "Make sure I have them at the beginning of next class. I want them to review, tomorrow."

"Thanks," I said. I sighed in relief. "You two are life savers."

Kensuke pointed at his watch. "Didn't you have to be somewhere?"

I cursed. Too late; my fate was sealed. Kensuke would have his notes delivered by courier with news of my death.

When I turned and ran, they just shook their heads.

... One hard run later, I was outside our apartment, waiting for my breath to catch up with me. It wouldn't be good to just waltz in there. I could sneak surprisingly well - probably it was because I didn't carry a lot of "presence," I guess.

I opened the door to our apartment, slow and careful. Misato was standing with her hand on her forehead in the living room. She sighed.

She was still wearing her work clothes. Asuka was sitting in seiza with her legs folded neatly beneath her, stiffly attentive. Unique, for her.

Misato yelled out, "I've had it! This is THE last time!"

I jumped. The door slammed behind me. Shit! No sneaking back out, now... Misato noted where I was. Her eyes flicked to mine, then back to Asuka.

Asuka didn't flinch - she just looked back at Misato. One corner of her mouth was curled up, though in what emotion I could not say.

Mocking smile, mocking sneer, disgust at being treated "like a child." Or, should I say, "like she deserved?" It was all the same.

"Shinji. You. Sit. There. NOW." The words all came in one tone, but there's no mistaking it when an authority figure speaks in CAPITAL LETTERS. Captain Misato Katsuragi had earned her rank in blood and sweat. She was used to being listened to.

I sat.

"God, help me. I can't go one day without hearing about the crap you two try and pull. I can't understand it." She paced back and forth, trying to find words.

"Should I expect you to fight the Angels together when you can't even be civilized in public?!"

Should...when, can't ... ic. I recognized those words. Ayanami.

"Hey," Asuka broke in, "This isn't MY fault. Shinji's the one who ran away again!"

Misato scowled at her. "I know EXACTLY whose fault this is, Asuka. Shinji did the right thing. You don't even know what happened. I doubt, I HIGHLY doubt, that you could have been of any use whatsoever in his place."

Pointedly, Captain Katsuragi looked at Asuka. "I've explained it to you two different ways. Do you need a reminder on the other side, now?"

I looked at Asuka. Her left cheek was positively glowing red. More so than with anger or embarrassment. Clearly, I'd missed out. Or, maybe not.

"You will go and do what I told you to do." Misato would brook no argument. She aimed one finger at Asuka and held it firmly against her glare.

"Fine," Asuka huffed. She flounced off angrily, red hair bouncing.

Misato turned towards me. Her shoulders sagged a little, but her back remained straight. She offered her hand, and helped pull me up.

"Shinji. I know what happened. Why did you run away again?"

I stuttered through an answer. Bloody hell! What I saw... That's too much for someone to deal with in one day.

"I understand," Misato said. She smiled slightly. "But, you need to assert yourself. You can't go through life like this."

I know that! I didn't have any choice, though. It wasn't up to me.

Silence. I said nothing. My eyes looked steadfastly downward, taking in the details of our low table and floor. We needed to vacuum. This is... so wrong.

"Stop. There. Stay like that," Misato said. It carried the force of an order, but echoed the stillness of a whisper.

I froze, and swallowed.

Suddenly, my head was lifted up. Misato had her hand on my chin, and her eyes looked into mine.

"Don't move." Her hands touched gently on my shoulders, then lightly brushed my hair.

Misato sighed. "I guess this is what I have to work with. Shinji, take off your pants."

Wha...what the hell?! Just being told to do so, I started to. But, put to me like that? Sweet Unit-01! Autopilot kicked in, then conked out. Clearly, this was not a task I was up to on my own.

I was right, but for the wrong reasons.

My belt was undone. Around that point, my hands weren't listening to my brain anymore, because I was going to fall down. Everything turned green.

Oh Captain, my Captain. Misato quickly made short work of the hook-closure on the front of my pants. That little button and loop I could never un-loop separated under her fingers as though they were same-polarity magnets.

Since when did she have practice undoing men's pants?! I suppose it wasn't much compared to what I had heard about bras, and, I mean, those had to be done behind your back without even looking, but, oh, hell... I was going out again.

Misato's hands were on the front of my pants. What was she DOING?! At this point, I might be called clinically dead. The heart beats, doctor, but the neural function has ceased. Sync ratio has fallen to 0.7... 0.2...

She was talking. Barely, I heard what she was saying. "... with your hair, and they're too stained. Even though they're black, it shows the spill too much."

A light flipped on and I was still incredibly confused, but it was a different kind of confusion. More sedate.

"What?"

Misato looked up at me from where she was, on her knees in front of me. She stood up and let go of my pants. They dropped like a planet.

"You don't have anything I can call a hairstyle, you don't have on an undershirt with your white button-down, and your pants are too stained to be seen in public," Misato said. "It's just as I thought, but I wanted to make sure."

I tried to ask questions and make sense of what had just happened. It... didn't work.

"Put on a pair of casual jeans and sneakers," Misato commanded. "Keep the white button-down, but wear an undershirt. Unbutton it a bit more, to the third button. I have some hair gel. Go!"

I ran and tripped over my own pants. Misato caught me and I didn't even register how I hit up against her. Good lord, what had I been thinking? Misato was supposed to be taking care of me, after all.

My guardian. Protecting me. She would never break my trust... Right?

Probably, I should be glad I wasn't getting attacked by a sword-wielding madwoman. I had no idea what to think about what had just happened. Maybe I should feel let down, but I was too confused.

There was no time for thinking; had to get ready. I did so, with no more conscious thought than this - what was I getting into, this time?