Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Guest Performance ❯ All Of You, Act As If You Want The Academy Award! ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I'm not Gainax. Eva is not mine. Thank you for your attention.




The next morning, the six members of the Eva cast that had been given apartments in Tokyo-5 were brought to the headquarters of NERV in the same shuttle bus that had taken them to the city the day before.

Mutsuko pointed out of the window. "Look, isn't that cute?"

Two Gainaxians on the sidewalk had begun to unfold a banner as soon as they had become aware of the bus. 'Shinji loves Asuka, Asuka loves Shinji' it simply stated.

Suddenly, another Gainaxian arrived and began to shout angrily at the two demonstrators. After pushing one of them and being pushed back, more and more bystanders took sides. Before the scene was blocked for the passengers as they went behind a corner, a fist fight between more then a dozen people had already begun.

Mutsuko sank back into her seat. "Or maybe not," she mumbled.

A car train carried the bus down into the Geofront, the gigantic cavity below the city where the pyramidal building of NERV HQ was located. When they arrived together with some escorting Section Two bodyguards, the Eva cast were greeted by a blonde Gainaxian woman in a lab coat. "My name is ... I guess, it would be easiest if you'd just call me Ritsuko Akagi. Dr. Akagi for you of course," she introduced herself. She looked at Mutsuko. "Try anything funny with me Ms. Ibuki and I'll feed you to my cats." Then she again faced the whole group. "Welcome to NERV. Captain Katsuragi hasn't come with you as it seems?"

"She wasn't feeling well this morning," Sadao replied briefly.

"She'll probably come as soon as she's sober again," Anja snorted.

Anja was nervous and tired because she hadn't slept well the night before, thinking about the warning they had received via the avian relay station. It had slightly surprised her to see that even Sadao had looked worried when she met him in the kitchen that morning. Rinako, on the other hand, played her part very well. Her empty expression made it impossible to read what was on her mind - it had slipped only for a second when Anja managed to tell her about the possible sabotage in an unobserved moment. She hadn't been able to talk to the bridge bunnies who seemed to be a little less stressed. But they weren't the ones who would be forced to pilot a gigantic cyborg.

After making a snide comment about the drinking habits of Anja's and Sadao's 'guardian', Dr. Akagi guided them to a conference room where Gonkuro was already waiting. As the doors closed, the actors were alone with the Gainaxian scientist. The woman gave them a sign to sit down. She activated a monitor on one of the walls of the room, and the already familiar image of the Angel traveling through space became visible.

"As I was told, you already noticed the striking similarity to the 9th. When this Angel attacked Gainax for the first time over one thousand years ago, it self-destructed after being defeated by the Evangelions. We believe that the explosion catapulted a part of the Angel into space, where it has regenerated over the centuries."

"Don't they always come from space?" Mutsuko asked, looking at Sugita.

"I thought they were born in volcanoes," he replied.

Anja rolled her eyes. "You should have been more attentive at the ... eh ... operation briefings," she stated in an arrogant tone.

Dr. Akagi grinned. "We are alone here, Ms. Siebert. As chief scientist of NERV, I'm of course informed about your real identities."

"You are? And what about the rest of the people here?" queried Rinako who naturally hadn't said much up to this point.

"Only the command crew. And some of the spies that sneak around here, I bet," Akagi explained.

"Spies?" Sugita repeated.

The doctor shrugged. "Spies from SEELE, the presidential office, some ministries, the military, approved religious groups, illegal sects, ... agents, double agents, triple agents, quadruple agents ... They try to spy us out, and we try to spy them out. That's the way it is. Sometimes we catch one but 'Spies don't always have a pony-tail'."

The actors looked confused, some more, some less.

"An old saying. But the spy issue doesn't need to concern you. Let's come back to the problem at hand."

The image changed and was replaced by an abstract graphic showing the course of the Angel and its destination. "The Angel will reach the surface of Gainax in about 26 hours. We naturally expect a landing in or near Tokyo-5," Dr. Akagi went on. "The Magi took all necessary variables into account and simulated your fight against the Angel. What you'll see now is the result of three hours of computing time from the most powerful computers on Gainax."

Another change took place on the monitor. A poor computer graphic showed the descent of the Angel. Three crudely drawn Evangelions entered from the left, marching in step. Without reducing its speed, one of them pointed a rifle at the Angel and fired. The Angel was replaced by the word 'BOOM' inside of a spiky yellow-red blob. The blob vanished, and the Evangelions simultaneously turned around, marching back off of the screen. The words 'Game Over' appeared.

"Eva Units 00, 01, and 02 will move out, destroy the Angel with a positron rifle, and return. That's the plan."

"That's the plan," Anja echoed. "That is the plan?"

"Can I have the positron rifle?" Sadao pleaded.

Dr. Akagi gave the actors a guided tour through the building. "We will begin with the heart of NERV," she exclaimed inside the descending elevator. "This is Terminal Dogma," she added dramatically as the doors of the car opened.

Her guests were amazed when they saw the gigantic white creature nailed to the red cross, surrounded by a basin filled with a reddish fluid they presumed to be LCL. Even the Lance of Longinus was there, piercing its torso. The legs were missing.

"Lilith," the doctor explained needlessly. "The product of the forgotten technology of a past era. We tried to destroy her but she keeps regenerating. The Lance of Longinus slows this process down, however."

Sadao pointed at a door in a corner of the large hall. "HA 1-25," he read off the sign on the door aloud. "What's in there?" he asked curiously.

Dr. Akagi turned towards him. "That's the ... broom cupboard."

Anja had been waiting for a moment that allowed her to talk to Gonkuro in private since their tour through NERV headquarters had begun. "Gonkuro?" she whispered.

Her colleague gave her an emotionless glare. "Is something the matter, Pilot Soryu?" he asked aloud.

"Stop that Soryu baloney," she hissed back. "I have to ..."

"The broom cupboard?" Sadao doubtfully replied at that moment.

"Yes. For the cleaners." Dr. Akagi headed towards the elevator. "Please follow me. We have a tight schedule."

After visiting Terminal Dogma, the group was brought to what was, according to Dr. Akagi, the armory. Eva-sized knives and various kinds of firearms were spread over several large halls. Some NERV technicians occupied with maintenance work were present, looking miniscule next to the weapons. The blonde scientist stopped in front of a titanic gun.

"This is the positron rifle. It's an improved model with an internal power source and should be able to break through the Angel's AT field, even if the pilots aren't capable of generating their own - which is unfortunately a scenario with a probability of 99.9999999 percent."

"Are you sure that it isn't one nine more?" Rinako asked ironically. "Because in that case I would be really worried."

Dr. Akagi glared at her angrily. "I'm sure that our calculations are correct."

"Never mind."

The next stop was the Evangelion cages. The familiar forms of the blue, purple, and red giants stood motionless next to each other, restrained by powerful bindings. The entry plugs had already been attached but were open and not fully inserted yet. Dr. Akagi effusively explained the technical details of the war machines, before turning towards the designated pilots.

"For you, this is the last station of our tour. This escalator," she pointed in its direction, "will bring you to the changing room level. The signs will lead you there and then to the Evangelions."

"NOW?" the three actors shouted simultaneously.

"Now. I expect you to be ready and inside the entry plugs by 11 AM."

Anja made a last attempt to talk to Gonkuro. "Gon ..." She cut herself short as a few technicians went by. "Commander Ikari?"

Again the cold stare. "Pilot Soryu?"

"Will you ... abort the test if anything goes wrong?" With faked self-assurance, desperately trying to keep herself in character, she added, "There is of course nothing I couldn't take care of by myself, Commander. Your son on the other hand ..."

Gonkuro interrupted her. "The success of the operation has the highest priority. The physical integrity of the pilots is of importance to guarantee this success," he stated before Dr. Akagi led him and the bridge bunnies to an elevator.

"Thank you. I think," Anja muttered when they were gone.

"You're worried," Rinako remarked as the three actors went up the escalator, a typical extra-long NERV model.

"Yes," her best friend answered monosyllabically.

"Even your idiotic boyf..."

"Mind your words!" Anja hissed.

"... EX-boyfriend seems to be. The real world has finally knocked on your door, eh Sadao?"

Sadao grunted disdainfully. "It's just a robot, Paleface. I've been selling them for years now." His attempt to be funny wasn't very convincing this time.

"And if we just try to escape?" the redhead asked her best friend.

"From here? How? And where to? We look a bit strange compared to the Gainaxians, remember?" the Ayanami actress asked back.

"Yes, the eyes. One would have to ..."

"Don't worry. Have some faith." Rinako pointed to herself. "An Angel is watching over you."

"Very funny."

"Our next stop will be Central Dogma, from where you will supervise the activation tests," Dr. Akagi explained to the remaining actors.

"But we don't know how!" Sugita intervened.

"Don't worry. We simplified the console layouts somewhat. Additionally, you, Mr. Hokusai, and Ms. Ishimura will be supported by Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar respectively."

The elevator stopped and the doors opened.

"Here we ... eh?"

Misato Katsuragi was standing in front of her. Unlike the day before, her eyes now had for some reason acquired the same blood red color like those of Rei Ayanami. "Oh, hello Ritsuko. Hope I'm not too late. I still have problems finding my way here, you know." She stepped inside.

Dr. Akagi distantly introduced the purple-haired Gainaxian women to the actors who hadn't met the Captain yet. Mutsuko stared at her.

Misato stared back, smiling. "Yes, Lieutenant Ibuki?"

"Y-Your eyes ..."

"Your lenses," Dr. Akagi explained.

"Oh." Misato fumbled in her pockets until she found a small box containing brown contact lenses. She inserted them. "Better?"

"Are you an Angel?" Mutsuko asked. Misato giggled.

"Red eyes are a common side effect of cloning and genetical engineering," Ritsuko Akagi explained.

"Cloning?" Sugita Arakawa asked.

"Yes. We both were cloned from modified DNA to perfectly fulfill our roles."

The elevator stopped again. This time it really had reached its destination: "Here we are. This is Central Dogma. Everything should be as you remember. You will find your way," the NERV chief scientist declared.

Leaving the elevator, the actors entered a platform at the lower half of the tower that was the Magi. It was the level where the terminals of the bridge bunnies were located. An older, gray-haired Gainaxian man was awaiting the actors. "Good morning. My name is ... I guess, it would be easiest if you call me Fuyutsuki. Subcommander Fuyutsuki. I will assist Commander Ikari." He emphasized the word 'assist' in a way that made it perfectly clear who would really take command during the scheduled tests.

Gonkuro Itagaki, seemingly perfectly in character since the actors had met him this morning, nodded at the Fuyutsuki clone. "Please guide me to the command level, Professor."

"This way, Ikari."

The alleged Lieutenants took their seats. Dr. Akagi placed herself standing next to Mutsuko. Misato Katsuragi remained standing in the background near the elevator.

In front of the crew, a huge holographic display showed the three Evangelions and the tiny figures of their pilots, dressed in their plugsuits and walking towards the entry plugs via narrow bridges that led to them. After the three actors had entered, the plugs began to close and were inserted into the mechas. Dr. Akagi bent down and pressed a button on Mutsuko's console. "Is the LCL filling progressing?" she asked.

Gargling sounds came via a loudspeaker.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Dr. ... em ... Sempai?" Mutsuko asked.

"Yes, Maya?"

"I thought ... An Evangelion needs a soul, right? So who ..."

"There are stronger bonds than the love of a mother," Dr. Akagi replied mysteriously.

After Anja had convinced herself that the LCL was indeed working and that she was not suffocating, she relaxed a bit. She now began to feel the presence of a, well, of a presence. The redhead unconsciously tightened her grip on the controls as her mind began to race. The soul inside of the Evangelion ... She hadn't thought about that yet. Her mother ... they wouldn't do that, would they? Or the woman who had played her mother. Oh God, she couldn't even remember her name anymore ...

"Hello, Asuka. Nice to finally meet you," a voice whispered in her mind.

The voice didn't sound like her mother, or like anybody's mother for that matter. In fact, it sounded much like that of a girl in her early teens.

"Who ... who are you?"

A mental giggle. "I'm a fangirl."

Meanwhile, in Unit 00:

"A ... a fangirl?" Rinako stuttered.

"Yes! I'm the moooooost ardent R/S fangirl on this planet. You make suuuuuuch a cute couple together. Trust me: Shinji will never choose that bitch over you."

Back in Unit 02:

"You should see my Asuka/Shinji shrine! You're really soulmates. Everybody can see that. I mean, look at that doll. She's just sooooo dull. And she's his mother, for heaven's sake."

And again, in Unit 00:

"And she is so cruel and uptight and everything. I hate her. Oh, I hate her sooooo much."

In Unit 01, Sadao was also having a conversation. "A fangirl?"

"Yes! Do you want to see the stories I've written about you?"

Text was running over the holographic display at amazing speed. Lots of text.

"Ah ... nice. But you should insert paragraphs every now and then. So, are you an S/A or an S/R fangirl?"

For a few moments there was no reply. "Actually ..."

A picture appeared in Sadao's mind for a second. A picture of a young man with gray hair and red eyes. Without clothing.

"Urgh ..."

In Central Dogma Dr. Akagi pressed another button on Mutsuko terminal. The view of the Eva cages on the main screen was replaced by images of the three pilots. Various looks of confusion were scrawled across their faces.

"Are you ready?" she asked into the microphone on the desk.

The pilots nodded reluctantly.

"Alright. Then we will begin with the activation procedure for Unit 01 first." She looked expectantly at the bridge bunnies.

"How?" Mutsuko whispered.

"Just press the button labeled 'begin with the activation procedure for Unit 01'," Ritsuko whispered back.

"Oh." She indeed found such a button. A text appeared on a monitor in front of her after she had used it. "Repeat: Connecting main power to all circuits." it said.

Mutsuko just stared at the text. Another sentence appeared. "Yes, I'm talking to YOU, Mutsuko 'Lieutenant Maya Ibuki' Ishimura. It's me, Balthasar." An emoticon expressing happiness was added.

"Connecting main power to all circuits," Mutsuko repeated obediently.

Masaki who was staring at a similar monitor, added, "Power supply connected. Commencing activation system."

Sadao was sitting in his entry plug, wondering about the professional tone of the bridge bunnies and trying to ignore the constant prattle of Unit 01's soul.

"Borderline cleared. Unit 01 has been activated," Mutsuko finally announced.

"Shinji, please try to perform a few movements," Dr. Akagi ordered.

Sadao tried to take his first step.

Eva 01 was marching up and down the small - by Evangelion standards - hall. It made knee-bends and push-ups. Finally, it even made some pseudo-karate kicks into the air, accompanied by utterances from Sadao sounding like 'Hah' and 'Hee-ah'.

"Thank you, Shinji," said Dr. Akagi attempting to lessen his enthusiasm somewhat. "Now, try to spread your AT field."

"How?" Sadao asked after a few seconds.

The blonde shrugged even though she knew that Sadao couldn't see her. "We don't know. There's no button or anything like that. You just have to ... do it."

Sadao hummed a tune. "Like this?"

The scientist looked at some readings on Mutsuko's console. "Nothing. But we had expected that. I apologize for our imperfect technology," she added with an ironic tone so faint that only the actors could detect it.

Sadao looked around in his entry plug as if he expected to see his invisible companion somewhere. "You should know how to do that, shouldn't you?"

"Ah, not really. This technical stuff is so boring, you know?" the fangirl replied. "I'm more into sap/romance."

"Please bring your Eva back into the initial position," Dr. Akagi ordered.

Sadao grunted disappointedly but obeyed.

"We will now carry out the activation of Unit 00 and Unit 02 simultaneously," the doctor announced.

Mutsuko studied the console in front of her until she found a button labeled 'carry out the activation of Unit 00 and Unit 02 simultaneously'.

Unit 02's soul was still explaining her personal view of the relation between Asuka, Shinji, and Rei to Anja. "... boys that go after a girl like her are just afraid of real women, I say. And ... oh."

Anja awoke from her doze. "Oh what?"

"It's time. I'm sorry, but there are some issues I have to sort out with the doll in Unit 00. 'Til later," she said in honeyed tones.

That was the last thing Anja heard, saw, or felt for some time.

The wailing sound of klaxons suddenly echoed through Central Dogma.

"What is the matter?" Gonkuro asked from above.

Mutsuko pressed the 'What is the matter?' button.

"0_o. The backward thingy. You know." the monitor said.

"Eh ... The backward thingy. You know," she repeated.

"I'm expecting a report, Lieutenant Ibuki," Gonkuro replied sharply.

"Come on, you know."

Mutsuko came to her senses and remembered. "The pulses are flowing backward!"

"We have a berserker!" Sugita shouted.

"Which one?" the 'acting commander' insisted to know.

"BOTH!" Masaki shouted.

"Abort the activation immediately!"

"Now guess what?" appeared on Mutsuko's monitor.

"WE CAN'T!"

"Smart girl."

Unit 00 and Unit 02 didn't give the impression of violent, uncontrolled beasts. But seeing the red Evangelion circling the other mecha, its chest slightly bent forward, and its hands folded on its back was admittedly a strange view.

Eva 00 followed the other mecha with its single eye. "What?" it finally snapped.

"I'm just trying to find out who is the greater doll: The doll, or the doll that is piloted by a doll."

"I'm ... not ... a doll," Unit 00 replied with barely suppressed anger. "Something seems to be affecting your thinking. The sexual frustration of your pilot perhaps?"

"What did you say?"

"You heard me."

Anja's Evangelion crossed its arms in front of its chest. "Listen sweetheart: If I wanted to learn something about sexual frustration, I would ask a girl with the sex appeal of a zombie on valium, like your pilot."

"THAT'S ENOUGH! I'm gonna scratch your four eyes out!" Unit 00 threw itself on its rival.

"Cut off the power supply. Release bakelite!" Gonkuro's voice echoed through the hall. Streams of liquid plastic were poured out over the fighting Evangelions.

"I'll kill you and your piloting bitch!" Eva 00 howled, pouncing on top of Unit 02 and attempting to strangle its neck.

The red Eva somehow managed to throw off the other mecha and to get on top. "She's not a bitch! She is troubled because her mother hung herself." It began hitting the chest of the blue mecha with both fists.

"She probably hung herself because her daughter was a total BITCH! Say something Shinji!"

"Yes, say something Shinji!" the other Eva repeated.

"Eh ... shouldn't we say something? Or better, do something?" Sadao asked Unit 01.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not activated anymore," the voice in his head replied casually. "Let these stupid girls sort that out. Meanwhile I can show you my yaoi gallery." The normal outside view of his entry plug was replaced by a menu. "I have 'Shinji', 'Kaworu', 'Other', 'Shinji/Kaworu', 'Other pairings' and 'Groups'. Where should we start?"

"LET ME OUT! SOMEBODY LET ME OUT!"

The crew of Central Dogma worriedly watched the cat-fighting Evangelions until finally their power reserves were exhausted and the bakelite began to harden. The giant mechas froze in motion.

"Begin the rescue operation for the pilots of Unit 00 and 02," Gonkuro ordered.

Sadao's voice came via the com. It sounded miserable. "Me too, please."

Sugita looked at Dr. Akagi. "Did you expect that, Doctor?"

"The probability of two Evangelions going berserk at the same time is less than 0.00001 percent," she replied.

"And that means?" Mutsuko wanted to know.

Ritsuko Akagi turned her head away. "There are several possibilities," she answered evasively. But she unconsciously made a gesture with her pointer finger, as Mutsuko noted. She drew a curl and an X into the air.

When Anja awoke from her unconsciousness and opened her eyes, she found herself lying on a bed, looking upwards. She opened her mouth to speak. "Unf..."

"Don't say it!" she heard a well-known voice next to her. "That's my line."

She turned her head to see Sadao, sitting next to her on a chair. He was staring upwards too. Medical equipment next to the bed proved that they were inside a sickroom of NERV's infirmary.

"And it looks very familiar to me. Exactly like on the set," he continued.

"Plus, it's a hell of a cliché," Rinako's voice added from behind. "Like Sadao sitting here."

Anja turned her head into the other direction. Rinako was also lying in a bed, just about a meter away from her.

"I'm just taking care of my girlfriend," Sadao defended himself.

"EX!" Anja shouted. "But thank you for being here," she added in a more normal tone. "Rinako, please just stop it."

"Since when are you awake, anyway?" Sadao inquired.

Rinako smiled. "Longer than you might think. But if there's an urgent job to be done ..." She closed her right hand around an imaginary cylindrical object and made some fast, rhythmic movements. "... just pretend I'm not here."

Sadao grumbled.

Anja felt her body aching as she sat up in bed. Her arms were covered with effusions of blood. Her memory was blurry and ended with her conversation with the soul of Unit 02. "What exactly has happened?" she asked to fill the gaps, but also to prevent a quarrel between Sadao and Rinako.

Sadao shrugged. "The souls of the Evangelions were too ... dominant, Dr. Akagi told me. And those in your Evangelions seemed to kind of dislike each other. They went berserk and ... umm ... scuffled."

"Scuffled," Anja echoed, trying to imagine dozens of meters high, 'scuffling' battle machines.

"Yes," Sadao nodded. "But Dr. Akagi said that they're under control now." He scratched his head. "Actually, she said a lot of techno babble I didn't understand. But the basic idea seems to be that they're under control now."

"And you, you didn't have any problems with your Eva?" Rinako asked suspiciously.

"I ... no. No, I didn't."

Maybe Sadao had been forced to act in character for too long and thus had problems in switching back to his normal behavior. But why was he practicing his hand-twitching tic now? Anja couldn't think of any reason for this.

"And for how long have we been out? She looked at a clock on the wall. Five hours? Oh ..."

The door opened and a purple-haired head became visible. Within seconds Misato was at Anja's bed and squeezed her. "My poor little Asuka! I'm so sorry to make you suffer like that! After all, I don't even have a father that ... Well, you know the story."

Anja winced as Misato put pressure on her effusions. "OW! You're hurting me, damn it."

"Oh!" Misato suddenly released her grip, making Anja fall back onto the bed.

Anja wasn't really angry. She had come to like the cheerful Captain already on their first evening despite her unprofessional overacting.

"When is the next test scheduled, Captain Katsuragi?" Rinako asked quietly.

"Your Evas are still covered in bakelite. But they will be ready tomorrow when it counts, don't worry," Misato explained.

"What? You mean next time it's for real?" Anja screamed.

"Yes, but that shouldn't be a problem," the Gainaxian woman answered casually. "At least, Ritsuko mumbled some number with many nines." She elbowed Anja, making her wince again. "Come on Asuka, you haven't unlearned to pilot an Eva, have you?"

"Of course I can pilot that thing, Misato!" Anja replied accusingly. Internally, she damned the over-confidence of her alter ego.

After a final examination by the doctors, Anja and Rinako were declared fit again. Before they could leave however, they were visited by their colleagues with the notable exception of Sugita Arakawa. Nobody seemed to know about his whereabouts.

"He's probably visiting the city," Masaki supposed. "I did that too. I found out some interesting things about this planet."

"Me too," Mutsuko intervened. "It is astonishing how many women wanted to buy me a drink."

"This is important, Mutsuko," Masaki criticized her.

"I also have something important to say," Anja declared. "Could it be that the Evas were sabotaged?"

"Funny that you're saying that," Mutsuko said thoughtfully. "It seemed to me that Dr. Akagi had the same feeling."

"Did she say something?"

"She hinted at it. And she made this sign, you know," Mutsuko draw the sign for the Evil into the air, as well as she remembered.

Anja turned to Gonkuro who had been silent up to now. "Have you heard something?"

"I assure you that we will do everything to secure the success of our mission," he said with his emotionless Gendo-voice. "It has been decided that you will rest today. All scenarios considered indicate that you will be able to defeat the Angel tomorrow without further training."

Sadao frowned while Gonkuro was talking. Then something came to his mind and he grinned mischievously. "Say Gonkuro, you've already done that Akagi woman, huh?"

Gonkuro stared coldly at him.

"Ahahahahahaha!" Sadao laughed.

Gonkuro still stared coldly at him.

"Eh ... ahahaha? Ahaha?"

The older man adjusted his glasses. "Captain Katsuragi will inform you about tomorrow's schedule." With these words he went. Nobody spoke for a few seconds.

"Phhh," Sadao finally said.

"There are no eavesdroppers here, right?" Anja asked.

Masaki shrugged. "If there are then they're probably only people who know the truth anyway. Gonkuro has been that way since we came here."

"He always was a perfectionist. But you wanted to tell us something."

Masaki nodded. "Yes. I visited the city. I've been to a book store. Nothing strange about it at first sight. Books in shelves and labels above the shelves, you know like 'Crime', 'Science Fiction', 'Travel', 'Science'."

"So what's your point?" Anja asked impatiently.

"The point is, that these labels weren't like that. They said 'S/A romance', or 'S/R', or 'Darkfic', or ..."

"So what you are saying is ..." Rinako began.

"What I'm saying is that the entirety of literature on this planet seems to be Evangelion fanfiction. There were at least 50 books dedicated solely to Gendo/Maya romances." Mutsuko looked disgusted at him. "After seeing that I had a theory and went to an arts museum. I wasn't surprised anymore to find only Evangelion fanart."

"Do they also have, you know, adult art?" Sadao winked at Masaki. He made a mental note to visit such a museum if yes.

"Sa-da-o."

"Yes," Masaki replied unimpressed, "but you should know that there is no separate yaoi section. It's all at the same place."

Although Sadao was sure that he had already seen all yaoi fanart that could possibly exist on this planet, he canceled his mental note with a thick, red mental pen.

"So what is the bottom line?" Anja inquired.

"One more example first. Rinako, there is a radio next to your bed. Could you turn it on?"

Rinako wordlessly pressed a button. The radio played what sounded like a speed metal version of 'Fly me to the moon.' She switched the station. Now the Ode to Joy was heard, this time with an underlying reggae rhythm.

"I think that's enough," Masaki declared as Rinako tried to find yet another station. "The bottom line is that Eva is not just the religion of the Gainaxians. Everything is Eva."

"We already know that they are weird," Rinako said as she turned off the radio again.

"Yes, but they are weirder than you think. And there's another thing: Although I think I was discretely shielded by Section Two agents, secret police, or something, people came to me and asked me a lot of details about Eva. Mainly about Sadao's, I mean Shinji's love life."

"The S/A versus S/R thing," Anja supposed.

"Exactly. Do you remember the fight this morning? I saw a clash between dozens of S/A and S/R demonstrators, forcefully broken up by the military. And graffiti, posters, ... There is much hate between the factions. Don't believe that the times of religious wars are over. I had the feeling that a new civil war could break out any time."

As if to support Masaki's pessimistic comments, the number of bodyguards that were ordered to secure the involuntary Evangelion pilots' safe return to their residences seemed to have at least tripled. The bus that transported Sadao, Anja, and Rinako, the two remaining bridge bunnies, and also Misato Katsuragi was accompanied by four black limousines that hadn't been present when they were brought to NERV the day before.

Strangely enough, all streets they passed were empty. When they left the bus in front of their apartment building, there was a moment when Anja thought that she heard a far away explosion, but she wasn't sure.

Earlier on the same day:

Sugita Arakawa snuck through corridors deep inside of NERV headquarters, corridors that were rarely visited by the people that worked for this century old organization. He opened doors that were passed even less frequently, doors that could be opened only by key cards of a kind that very few Gainaxians possessed. Clearly, a human shouldn't have such a key card at all.

Finally, behind one of the doors, he found the room he was looking for. The walls of the room were mainly bare. It contained a few pieces of furniture, just enough to allow a person to subsist here. A young Gainaxian girl was sitting on a simple and uncomfortably looking bed. She turned her head towards the intruder.

"I knew I would find you here," Sugita mumbled.

"Your intrusion here is very unfortunate, Mr. Arakawa," a voice behind him stated.

As Sugita attempted to turn around, the coughing sound of a silenced gun was heard. He keeled over. There was no pain, but Sugita could see a rapidly growing red blotch on the chest of his NERV uniform. His world became black.

"Very unfortunate indeed," the voice stated again.

The girl on the bed blinked.

Poor Sugita Arakawa. Why was he spying around inside of NERV and who shot him? Will Sadao, Anja, and Rinako defeat the Angel? Come back and read the fabulous fourth chapter

Author's notes: Once again list of names and role names:

Rinako Asuhara - Rei Ayanami

Sadao Inoguchi - Shinji Ikari

Anja Siebert - Asuka (Langley) Soryu

Gonkuro Itagaki - Gendo Ikari

Sugita Arakawa - Shigeru Aoba

Masaki Hokusai - Makoto Hyuga

Mutsuko Ishimura - Maya Ibuki

Many, many thanks to my pre-readers ChiRho, Nova, and XXXG-00W0.