Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Heaven and Hell ❯ A Moment of Kindness ( Chapter 6 )

Manga - Addicts Presents:
Heaven and Hell
Revelations 0:6 - A Moment of Kindness
04/24/2001

HTML version 09 May 2008

Neon Genesis Evangelion created by, registered, and copyrighted to GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, and any other company and/or division associated with the creation and/or production of Neon Genesis Evangelion. A.D.Vision holds the copyrights to the English version of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

This work of fiction is not intended for any commercial purposes but was created for the entertainment of the Author and Fans of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

No copyright infringement was in any way intended.

Heaven and Hell written by Jino Turtlegod

Pre-Read by Kyo Tetsuei, Raymond Ryckman

M Rating. For mature readers only. Some scenes, themes, language, and situations are not suitable for younger readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Revelations 0:6 - A Moment of Kindness

"Hm? I thought Misato would be here already," Asuka said as she removed her shoes. She and Shinji had taken a quiet walk home, and Asuka assumed that by the way Misato drove when they last saw her that she would have beaten them to the apartment by several hours.

"There's a message on the answering machine," Shinji said from the living room as Asuka joined him. He pressed the play button.

"Good evening everyone!" Misato's vibrant voice greeted. "I'll be staying with Juno and the others for the night! Asuka, how did your date go? -- Allen! I saw you look at my cards!" There was the sound of children giggling in the background. "Where was I? Oh yeah, Rei, how's your head? Are you all right? And Shinji, sorry about your room, we were using it for storage. You can put out the stuff in the living room if you want and we'll clean it up tomorrow. Well, see you in the morning. And don't do anything naughty while I'm away." Misato gave a laugh before they heard the beep signaling the end of the message.

Shinji and Asuka looked at each other before they looked away, blushing. Rei was still in the hospital for observation after she received a concussion during the Unit 01 retrieval operation.

Once again, the Second and the Third had the apartment to themselves.

000

"You're bluffing!" Allen cried out as Misato laid down a card facedown. Misato grinned at him and turned the card face up. She wasn't. As the others laughed, Allen groaned as the pile of cards was pushed in his direction.

Misato wiped a tear from her eye with one finger, still laughing at the boy's misfortune. They had been playing for a couple of hours and she could feel the fatigue starting to take its toll.

"Enough, I can't take it anymore," She said, sighing. "We've got a Synch Test scheduled for tomorrow, so everyone get some sleep."

The children groaned in disappointment, with Allen the loudest since he hadn't won a single game.

000

Asuka lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling with a magazine spread open on her belly. She had changed her clothes but was unable to sleep. She had tried reading to make her sleepy- to no avail, she was somehow anticipating something. She fiddled with the buttons of the white shirt she wore as she strained her ears, trying to hear if Shinji was still awake in the next room.

Not that she was planning anything or afraid (or hoping) that he would try something. But they were alone in the apartment. He was a boy and she was a girl... And boys often had these urges when they're alone with a girl... Asuka shook her head, surprised at her line of thought. She turned over and laid facedown on the bed and buried her blushing face into her pillows. She took a deep breath to smell the scent on them. She wrinkled her nose. Like the locker she had taken for her own, the bed and the pillows no longer smelled or felt like their previous owner. Her own scent, her own spirit, had infused itself on these items. They were now hers. Even the shirt she wore was no longer his.

"Shinji's not like that," she whispered to herself. She remembered the times she had teased him in a most unladylike manner and he showed no reaction. She remembered the time she tricked him into kissing her. She still felt uncomfortable about that little episode and tried very hard not to think about it. It was the first time she had been actually scared of Shinji. Or more precisely, scared of falling in love with the boy he was.

After that day, Shinji became withdrawn as the situation with the Angels and his father worsened. Asuka sighed as she remembered those times. She too had become withdrawn, her depression had intensified as Rei, Shinji and the 15th Angel undermined her status and self-confidence. She had lost her sense of worth.

Asuka shuddered as she remembered the 15th Angel. It had invaded her mind, and she had felt her soul ravaged and violated. She had lost her mind for a while because of it. Only the Eighteenth Incident brought her back from insanity. The day that others reviled, she remembered with gratitude, as it was the day she had been reborn.

She thought of Shinji. He was the one who had suffered the most from the Eighteenth Incident, the Day of Betrayal. He was the one who had been betrayed the most. He had run away after that day and didn't return for two years. The Hedgehog's Dilemma, Misato had told her once.

000

The Eighteenth Incident
Two years before

"Do you know what a hedgehog is?" Misato asked Asuka as the girl lay on the hospital bed beside her own. They were both in a mobile hospital tent waiting for the helicopter and the clearance to be transferred to Tokyo-2. The tent contained nearly forty wounded NERV personnel, the only survivors of the more than five thousand people who had worked in the Geofront. Several other tents contained the civilians who had been caught still inside the city after the evacuation- total civilian casualties were still unknown at this point.

Asuka turned to Misato, her eyes still full of tears. Shinji had left. He had abandoned them. He had left her.

"What the fuck does a hedgehog have to do with Shinji leaving!" Asuka yelled impatiently, making some of the other patients and the guards look at them. A hurt look from Misato calmed her down. "Yes, I know what a hedgehog is, it's a small animal with spikes... So what?" Asuka said a little more softly, her tone still belligerent.

"Well, the hedgehog has this problem. Every winter, when it's very cold, the hedgehog wants to share his warmth with other hedgehogs. But the closer they get to each other, the more they hurt the ones they love. The hedgehog's dilemma is; does he freeze to death or does he hurt himself and his loved ones?" Misato glanced down at the sling of her broken arm and felt the bandages wrapped around her chest seemed to tighten as she waited for Asuka to make the connection. Asuka didn't disappoint her.

"So what? Relationships hurt but we can't live without them," Asuka spat out. "He's hurting, we all are! Why can't he take it like a man!"

"Because no one taught him how." Misato stared at the crucifix that someone had hung on one of the support poles of the tent. "His father abandoned him and his uncle didn't care enough. And I guess I didn't know how."

Asuka remembered herself and what had happened in her EVA earlier that day. She remembered why she had trained hard, why she bullied the others, why she always had to be the best. She was like Shinji. She kept others at a distance so that she won't be hurt. Like him, she too had been scared of the pain that caring for others brought. Where Shinji had withdrawn into himself, she had pushed others away.

She finally understood the circumstances that she and Shinji shared. And the cleansing tears came with the painful truth. There was no need to be ashamed at the show of weakness.

"What's wrong?" Misato gently asked.

"I - I just hope he gets his act together before he freezes his balls off."

000

Shinji stared at the ceiling as he lay on his back on a futon since someone, probably Rei, had appropriated his bed when he left. The music streaming from his earphones went unheeded as he sorted out his thoughts. It was a familiar ceiling; he remembered the countless nights he had spent staring at it. It was comforting, something familiar.

Since returning to Tokyo-3, he had felt lost, like a piece of wood drifting in the sea. Everything was so new, so alien. Most of the people he knew were dead or irreversibly changed from their old selves or at least the part of them they had shown him when he came to Tokyo-3 all those years ago.

Rei, who was so cold, indifferent, so self-assured with her righteousness when he left, was now almost a normal teenager, fragile and unsure of herself.

Misato's cheerful expression was more forced than before he left, he knew that her pain went deeper than she let on.

Mr. Hyuga who had been an unassuming young man when he left was now very forceful and confident... or maybe he had always been and Shinji just didn't notice the first time.

Ms. Ibuki who had been shy and timid was more like Ritsuko now, her open face belying her eyes that were sad and heavy with some dark secret that Shinji didn't want to know.

And then there was Asuka, she seemed to have regained her fire but it was somehow tempered, she was now more calculating than forceful, like a tiger that had known the pain of fire.

The only thing that remained the same was Pen-pen, not that the penguin mattered much.

Shinji dreaded the next day, when he would meet his old friends, since he wondered how much they changed.

Then there were the new people, he still hadn't met the three new pilots and he was barely acquainted with Toji's little sister since he had been too uncomfortable with the fact that he had nearly killed her almost three years back. Lt. Hayes was nice and gave him the sense of being open to other people's problems. Lt. Kata was the opposite, too formal and professional to care for other people beyond professional courtesy. Lt. St. Croix downright made him uneasy - she was too eager to please everyone.

Then there was the Commander. Shinji felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He reminded Shinji of his own father. That cold professionalism tempered with fanatical dedication to his work. The only thing working for Shinji was that Shinji didn't hate Commander Santiago and they weren't related by blood so Shinji didn't feel a need to get close to the man.

Shinji's eyelids drooped in fatigue but he forced them open, not wanting to drift off to sleep. He had started to drink coffee in order to stay awake longer. He was afraid to close his eyes, knowing that the nightmares would come. Fire and blood. The crucified Angel. His father's sin. His sin.

Shinji remembered that he had to call Dr. Akagi and inform her on his decision to rejoin NERV. She could probably veto his decision but he had a feeling that she would not interfere with his personal life.

Shinji blinked, yawned, and felt the inevitability of fighting against sleep as finally gave in to it.

000

Misato woke up a little disoriented. She wasn't in her room, and she started panicking, wondering whose house she went home to and what she did before she fell asleep. Misato finally remembered and calmed down. She slowly breathed out and propped herself up on her elbows and looked around. Misato noticed one of the futons was empty, Allen was gone and the bathroom door was wide open, showing that it was unoccupied. Misato's hand went for the gun she had placed underneath her pillow.

Misato slowly sat up and noted that there were no signs of intruders, which calmed her a bit. That and the knowledge that there was a team of heavily armed NERV security four doors down the hall.

On a hunch, she took a cup and poured herself some lukewarm coffee before going outside to join Allen.

The apartment building was built around a central courtyard, all the apartments opening towards it through a wide balcony-walkway. In an emergency, the building is equipped with retractable armored shutters, which could repel most conventional weapons. Misato found it ironic that the reconstructed Tokyo-3's defenses were geared more for fighting against humans rather than Angels. Then her mind went back to the report on her desk that arrived the day before, and she thought that maybe it wasn't so ironic - just very, very sad.

Allen Alleyn sat against the wall by the doorway, gazing up at the wing opposite their apartment. He wanted to look up at the stars, but it was impossible from his position unless someone blew up the opposite wing. He looked down at the picture he was holding.

"Mom, I miss you." Allen whispered as tears slid down his cheeks. Allen could feel his emotions rush out from the place they had been pent-up. Thankfully, sadness came forward instead of anger. It would upset his plans if he lost control and did something against Misato right now. He heard the click of the doorknob and hurriedly wiped away his tears, smudging his face.

"Hi." Misato cheerfully said as she stepped onto the porch, holding a cup. She was wearing her tight, black skirt and a black undershirt that he judged to be one size too small. Allen tried not to notice that she had large breasts and ... Allen looked away, blushing, ashamed of his train of thought.

"Whassat?" Misato said as she leaned back on the concrete parapet opposite him. She noticed his glistening cheeks but decided not to comment on it.

"My mom's picture." Allen said, his voice low and sad. He sniffed. Unable to keep it in anymore, he began choking down sobs.

Misato suddenly remembered. She had been so busy during the last few months that she had been unable to know the new pilots better. She remembered who Allen's mother was, and also what day tomorrow was. Tomorrow was the anniversary of the Eighteenth Incident, one day before the War of Unification began. Allen's mother was the enemy then, the person who under orders from SEELE, commanded the nine EVAs to destroy Tokyo-3.

Misato looked at the crying boy. Pawns. They had all been pawns in a sick game between SEELE and Gendo Ikari. They had all been unknowingly working for different versions of Third Impact. Misato sighed. Who was right? Who was wrong? She knew most of the truths behind the Human Instrumentality Project and the Human Complement Program but still she was unsure. They had played with the power of God. To change the world. Misato knew that deep in her heart, she too would have been unable to resist such temptation.

But still they were only pawns. To be used. To be discarded.

Misato placed her cup on the parapet and knelt in front of the boy. Allen looked at her, the tears drying on his cheeks. Misato smiled at him and opened her arms and pulled him into a warm, motherly hug. Allen did the only thing he could do at that moment. Act like the hurt child that he was.

000

Shinji looked at the broken form of the white EVA at his feet. Growling in anger, he slammed his foot on its head, a satisfying crunch ran up his leg as the head splattered on the ground. He turned around and saw Unit 02 insert a power plug into its back. Beside Unit 02 was the ruined Central Dogma pyramid, a huge chunk was missing from one of its sides where several missiles had pierced the thick armor. Shinji looked at the place where his father's office used to be, tears streamed from his eyes, mixing with the LCL. He looked at Misato's crucifix, which floated in the LCL before him, parts of it still red where her blood had failed to dissolve in the liquid environment of the entry plug.

"They want me to start Third Impact, " Shinji flatly said. Asuka's image appeared on a screen.

"Shinji? Are - are you OK?" Asuka asked, concern in her voice. She became worried as Shinji started laughing bitterly.

"They were using me... everyone... dead... because... I'm..."

"Shinji?"

Asuka gasped as Unit 01 blurred from her vision as Shinji ran towards the damaged pyramid. She started running after him but she was wounded and her EVA was damaged; besides, Shinji's abilities had long since eclipsed hers. She cursed and prayed that Shinji had not been driven insane, as she had been.

The air shimmered around Unit 01 as it flew down the main shaft on its At Field. All the blast doors had already been destroyed and its progress was unimpeded. The purple beast finally dropped in a crouching position before the huge blast doors of Heaven's Gate. Several lance-swords were embedded into it; the four remaining EVAs had been trying to cut through it before Unit 01 rudely interrupted them. The body parts of three white EVAs were scattered all over the place, the last EVA had been destroyed outside where Shinji and Asuka had forced it back.

Shinji went to the door and grasped a sword and activated the progressive edge. Sparks flew as the blade bit into the metal.

"Too slow. Too slow." Shinji said in monotone, he could feel his heart being wrenched by sadness and anger. Shinji never got to reconcile with his father. He had lost his father, his mother, his youth and innocence because of the thing behind the door.

It was because of it that Shinji's father had abandoned him. It was because of it that the Beast he piloted absorbed his mother. It was because of it that countless people had died. Shinji felt his emotions well up and he began to roar along with the Beast.

The blast door crumpled inward as the projected AT Field slammed into it, but it held. Another wave of the AT Field slammed into the blast door but it still held. Shinji roared once more and threw Unit 01 against the door, which finally gave way. Unit 01 fell into the sea of LCL on the other side. Shinji saw the Angel on the cross. Adam. The Angel of Death that brought about Second Impact. He willed his EVA closer, wading waist deep in the sea of LCL. His purpose clear as anger and despair broiled within him. Adam looked at him, each of the seven eyes showed pity.

He could hear something splash in the LCL behind him. A screen came to life as Asuka shouted something at him, he drove all thoughts of her from his mind and focused on the crucified Angel. She was another reason to do this, he can't live to bear what he had done.

As he neared the crucified Angel, he saw a girl appear on the top of the cross, her short, blue hair blowing with the wind that entered from the ruined doors. She looked at his EVA, through it and directly at him. Her red eyes radiated sadness and sympathy. She raised her arms as if to embrace him. Shinji noticed that she was naked, but he didn't feel any embarrassment or shame. His whole body felt numb as it trembled with chaotic emotions.

Shinji felt like he had no control over his body. He tried to tighten his grip on the control sticks in order to stop his hands from trembling, but his body did not respond. He watched as Unit 01's hand reached out and grabbed the girl from the cross.

Shinji looked at her, the familiar face that the doll wore made him angry. The hand gripped tighter making the doll gasp in pain. He remembered the last time he held someone in Unit 01's hand. He remembered the red eyes looking up at him, without blame or disappointment. Those eyes looked at him with sad understanding. Just like the eyes of the doll he was holding now...

Shinji sat up screaming. He was not in Unit 01. He was not holding Rei in his hands. That moment was over. A long time had passed. He was on his futon, in his room, in his home.

Shinji took short, quick breaths. He pulled his knees to his chest and cradled his head in his hands and sighed. He felt his wet brow and noticed that he had broken into a cold sweat. Shinji jumped as the door was furiously shoved aside and Asuka jumped into the room, her pistol in her hand.

"I - I heard a scream," Asuka said, concerned for her housemate. Shinji collapsed on the futon in relief that it was Asuka and not a JSSDF soldier. Asuka came and kneeled beside the boy. She placed her hand on his brow while the other hand set the gun aside. "You're sweaty and clammy. Are you all right?"

"No. I'll never be all right," Shinji said with a sob as he turned away from her and began crying.

000

Henri walked down the long twisting corridors, he was slightly nervous that his body seemed to know where to go, as if something was guiding him to his destination. He paused at an intersection before turning where he was being pulled. At the end of the corridor was a large blast-door. The words: Special Development Laboratories were painted in red below the NERV logo. A keypad and cardswipe was beside the door, right below warnings printed in Japanese and English that trespassers would be shot.

Henri approached the doors and traced the painted letters with his fingers. He looked up at the laser turrets guarding the door.

000

Lt. Antoinette St. Croix sat down at the middle Chief Control Officer's station on the command bridge. She ran her fingers across Lt. Corrie Hayes' workstation, a little envious that it had more control panels than hers. She knew that Colonel Hyuga once sat at this very workstation and she believed that those who worked at the station were on the fast track to promotion. She sighed. A promotion would be the best way to repay her parents for all the trouble they went through for her.

At Lt. Antoinette's workstation, a red light blinked, unnoticed, before it was extinguished a few moments later.

000

Henri was surprised as the large blast-doors opened with a hiss. The color drained from his face as he looked up at the laser turrets, expecting to be fried to a crisp. He was relieved to see the turrets' laser rifles droop as they lost power.

Henri looked at the inky blackness of the Special Development Lab. In the far corner he could see a faint, glowing light. The light was calling him, compelling him to obey. Like a moth drawn to the light, Henri stepped into the darkness.

000

Maya slept on the futon Makoto kept in his office for the times that one of them had to work late. Makoto sat behind his desk perusing a thick red folder. Makoto looked up from the report he was reading and looked at his wife with a mixture of love and regret.

He returned to reading the report and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He looked at his watch.

"It's time," he whispered to himself before he pushed himself off his chair to wake up his wife.

000

Rei sighed as she closed her book. She still felt euphoric as the story's end still lingered at the tip of her tongue.

`Though it could have done with less bed scenes...' she thought with a blush and a shy smile.

She gave a gasp and the book fell from her suddenly numb fingers.

`No...'

000

Misato leaned back on the wall and sighed, Allen had fallen asleep in her arms and she didn't want to wake the poor boy. She thought of the First Wave - fifteen Angels attacked Tokyo-3 in the span of one year. The last Angel took the guise of a child, a young boy who managed to befriend a troubled Shinji. She didn't really know what happened between the two during the day and night they had together but she was sure of what happened after. The bitter climax to a short friendship that left one friend dead and the other emotionally shattered. The Angel's death had brought more grief to Shinji's troubled life, and brought it crashing around him.

Misato was somehow glad that Shinji had chosen to run away. If she had been in Shinji's position, she would have taken her gun and blown her brains out. Well, probably after killing her superiors first, Misato smiled at that thought. Now that Shinji was back, she didn't know what new pains would come into the boy's life.

Misato looked down at Allen, wondering what skeletons lay in his closet. On the outside he looked like a carefree child, the exact opposite of Shinji, but when he cried, he was just as vulnerable and hurt - just like all children, no, like everybody else. She yawned and leaned her head back on the wall. Tomorrow was bound to be a busy day, what with the anniversary of the Eighteenth Incident, the religious fanatics might just decide to make a statement.

She snapped her head forward as her phone went off at the same time as the Angel Attack Sirens did.

000

A boy his age looked up at him, a blush was on the boy's face. A familiar feeling.

A girl with blue hair and wearing a high school uniform. She was coming up the elevator towards him. A kindred spirit.

A girl with golden-red hair, sleeping on a hospital bed with some sort of sickness. Someone worth sympathy.

A lake full of ruins, its waters tinged blood red by the setting sun. The fortress of Humanity.

A sea of yellow liquid in some hellish place. A cross the color of blood. A white being. Mother of all.

Henri stared at the things around him, his eyes were dead and unseeing as the memories took precedence.

His eyes began turning red.

Henri came to and found himself on the catwalk over his EVA, wondering how he got there. But the mystery of the laboratory was still in his mind, like impressionistic paintings the images gave form and shape but no distinct details.

His knuckles were white as he gripped the metal railing. He stared blankly at the gigantic bio-mechanical monstrosity upon which Humanity depended upon for order and survival. He felt like he forgot something. Something terrible and important. A tear slid down his cheek and fell into the abyss under the catwalk he stood upon.

The sirens shattered his train of thought.

000

Shinji reflexively snapped awake as the sirens went off. He tried to sit up but something heavy was on his chest. He looked down and saw that Asuka had fallen asleep curled up half on top of him. He could feel his face warm up and he remembered his sin against her. He shoved the memory away, ashamed of it. He carefully embraced her, feeling the weight and warmth of her body against him. If only he hadn't been stupid and ruined any chance he might have with her... he could just stay there and be comfortable in the fact that he liked her, and liked her a lot. Only if she could return it, he could honestly say that he would be very happy.

But that was not to be, and there was the insistent siren that demanded their attention.

Shinji sighed in disappointment and released her from his embrace. He gently shook Asuka awake by the shoulders, "Asuka. Wake up, Asuka."

"Whassit?" Asuka mumbled sleepily. She snuggled closer to the warm thing she was sleeping on. The rhythmic drumming in her ear suddenly picked up its pace, making her smile as it comforted her. She heard a comforting voice saying something to her and this too made her smile. But there was also a loud noise that she found frighteningly familiar--

Shinji almost jumped out of his skin as Asuka's eyes shot open, her blue eyes looking straight into his. Shinji cringed, immediately removing his arms from her. Knowing Asuka, she would now stand up, call him stupid or a pervert or a stupid pervert, and then knock him unconscious.

It seemed as if Shinji knew Asuka better than he thought.

"SHINJI YOU STUPID PERVERT!!" Asuka yelled as she jumped off him. Shinji sat up and automatically raised his arms as a shield and cringed. Asuka blinked at Shinji's reaction and a sudden flood of guilt and shame brought her short. She looked at her upraised hand, unable to believe she was about to slap Shinji, her Shinji. He had already gone through much and she didn't want to make him run away again. She slowly brought her hand down and looked away in remorse.

"Come on, grab your coat and let's go," Asuka said, her face hot with guilt and embarrassment.

000

"Prepare for First Level Combat!" Col. Makoto Hyuga ordered as the Angel entered the fifty-kilometer mark. "Evangelion status?"

"Sir, Units 15 and 31 are now on the Deployment Elevators to Route 167, Units are green and awaiting orders." Makoto looked at the sub screens showing the two pilots.

"They look so young and scared," he said to his wife. "Kensuke Aida has been in combat against the rebels in Germany, Switzerland, North America, China, and the Middle East during the War. He is quite good as a pilot but inexperienced against Angels. Henri Montblanc has shared an Angel kill, unfortunately he had heavy support then, there is no telling how he'll perform with only one EVA supporting him."

"Unit 01 is here, but Shinji is on the other side of the city. All that stands between the Angel and us are two inexperienced pilots," Dr. Maya Ibuki noted to her husband. She felt her chest tighten in fear as she remembered her daughter sleeping in her nursery. "There is only one way to find out how they'll do. Even if MAGI has already computed that Aida has an eighty percent chance of survival."

"And Henri?" Makoto asked, unnerved by the coldness with which his wife just announced Aida's chances. He saw his wife bite her lips.

000

Misato drove through the empty streets, trying to reach Central Dogma before the Angel did. Around her, the buildings began to lower their armored shutters, not as good as retracting down into the geofront, as those buildings near the lake could do, but it was better than being left vulnerable. Allen, Juno and Yuri, were in the back, wearing heavy coats over their sleeping clothes. Misato was pushing her car to the limit as she drove, she remembered the last time she did it and what the consequences would be if she did not reach Central Dogma in time.

Allen looked out at the starry night sky over the mountains. It was so beautiful, he felt at peace. He smiled a gentle smile as he remembered that it was the anniversary of his mother's death.

"Today's a good day to die," he whispered.

To Be Continued

In the Next Episode of Heaven and Hell:
Maya: How do you fight an invisible enemy? Kensuke had always dreamt of piloting an EVA, but now that he has fully appreciated the experience, he's wondering why! Heaven and Hell 0:7 When Children Spread Angel Wings!