Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Heaven and Hell ❯ Dealing With Death ( Chapter 8 )

Manga - Addicts Presents:
Heaven and Hell
Revelations 0:8 - Dealing with Death

HTML version 09 May 2008

Neon Genesis Evangelion created by, registered, and copyrighted to GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, and any other company and/or division associated with the creation and/or production of Neon Genesis Evangelion. A.D.Vision holds the copyrights to the English version of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

This work of fiction is not intended for any commercial purposes but was created for the entertainment of the Author and Fans of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

No copyright infringement was in any way intended.

Heaven and Hell written by Jino Turtlegod

Pre-Read by Raymond Ryckman

M Rating. For mature readers only. Some scenes, themes, language, and situations are not suitable for younger readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Revelations 0:8 - Dealing with Death

Commander Crisostomo Santiago ran his fingers through his short black hair as he walked into the ethereal light of the white room. He suppressed a sneer as the familiar long table and the brace of generals came into view. God, he really hated the generals that made up the General Committee for Security. Once more he ignored them and focused his steely gaze on the Secretary General in his high-backed chair.

Santiago stopped exactly ten feet away from the table and gave a smart salute. "Major General Crisostomo Santiago, Commander NERV First Branch, United Nations Peace Keeping Forces. Reporting as ordered, Sirs."

"At ease, Commander. We are slightly... concerned. Adam was not supposed to have a soul. For all purposes, Adam was dead - and yet it was able not only to attempt an escape but also to defeat two of your EVAs," Reinholt spoke, his tone slightly disapproving. He didn't like unanticipated complications to the Project.

Santiago's expression did not change at the lack of preliminary questioning which normally preceded every meeting. "We are still investigating the incident, but we have a theory that it was due to prolonged contact with Unit 01. Some residual energy from Unit 01 was probably transferred to the Angel."

"You mean that Adam was able to somehow reconstruct a soul through its contact with Unit 01?"

"That is our only theory so far."

"Do you have a proposal to remedy the situation?"

"Yes. We suggest that we be allowed to bring in a specialist."

"Aren't all Angel and Evangelion specialists under our employ?"

"Not really, Sir."

Reinholt paused then his face lit up with realization. "Just make sure that she is aware of the consequences of treachery."

"Yes, Sir." Santiago didn't feel the need to add that she already had first hand experience with being betrayed.

"Very well, we will expect results Commander. We have also received reports that you lost a pilot today in combat with the Warrior." The old man stated wearily, moving away from the topic of the retrieval of Unit 01. Santiago wondered if the Secretary General would even bring up the matter of the facsimile Lance of Longinus and its premature exposure.

"Yes. As was foretold. The pilot would be interred this afternoon. For the reasons of morale, we have decided to keep the mourning period short for the other pilots."

"That is all Commander. You are to ensure that Adam will no longer pose a threat to the Project."

"Sir." Santiago saluted and turned on his heels. He marched out and started making plans.

000

NERV 1st Branch
Tactics and Planning Division
Colonel Katsuragi's Office

Misato sat at her desk, her head in her hands. "I don't have time for this," she muttered as her eyes fell on the report on her desk. It was Henri's personnel file. It had all his data from the time he was transferred to NERV-1 from NERV-3. All relevant data from before that period were non-existent.

Three knocks. Misato's eyes darted to the door while her hand went to her shoulder holster hidden under her jacket.

"Pilot Allen Alleyn," came the sullen introduction from the other side of the door.

Misato exhaled slowly to calm herself. This was another thing she would rather not deal with. At least his files were complete, though his psych profile could have been better. She took her hand from her gun and sat up straight. "Enter."

The door slid open and Allen gave a crisp salute. The boy was wearing his dress uniform- a white collared shirt with long-sleeves and red shoulder patches, white pants and black ankle-high boots. His beret sat rakishly atop his long brown hair which he had tied back in a brief ponytail. His black pistol belt was empty since Third Class Pilots were not rated to carry or use firearms. A bandage covered his left eye where Asuka had landed a punch. He stepped into the room and went to stand in front of Misato in the At Attention position. His eye looked straight ahead without actually looking at Misato.

Misato gave a wry grin, the psych report was right - Allen was a military kid through and through. "At ease, Pilot. I need to talk to you."

The door to the office slid shut.

000

Rei buttoned her shirt. She looked into the bathroom mirror, staring at her reflection's eyes. She wore the clothes that she had worn when she entered the hospital the day before. She fingered the places where spots of blood had become dark stains on her white uniform.

She bit her lips nervously, a habit she picked up from Misato and Dr. Ibuki. Something was going on. She had began to feel them- the Divine Enemy, even without her EVA. She shouldn't be able to, especially since --

"Rei?" Asuka knocked on the bathroom door, her voice worried.

"I am ready," Rei answered as she took a final look at the mirror.

000

Shinji sat by Toji's bed, his head bowed and his hands clasped together, as if in prayer. Yuri stood looking out the window. Hikari, who was staying in the room before they arrived, had left to go on standby duty. Kensuke had stayed for a while before excusing himself to get some rest.

Yuri turned and watched Shinji's bowed head. This was the boy who had sent her to the hospital several years ago. She did not hold it against him since she knew he was just doing his job and it was just her bad luck to be caught in the fighting. He was also the one who crippled her brother but this too she didn't hold against him for the same reason. And now the irritation she felt for being upstaged by him was also gone, replaced by curiosity.

`Who is he? Why can he make his EVA fly? What is it about him? I can feel his sadness. I- I feel sorry for him. Maybe I should comfort him, he is big brother's friend. No!!' Yuri shook her head to clear the thoughts away as she noticed that she was acting like a girl in a shojo-manga.

Shinji was deep in thought. He remembered the Eighteenth Incident. It was two years ago this day that he committed his sin. Today was the anniversary of his father's death. Today was the anniversary of the death of so many people. Today was the anniversary of the beginning of the reign of the iron hand. The iron hand of the EVAs used by NERV to conquer the world.

Shinji thought of Allen, his hand tentatively touched his bruised cheek. The boy who had struck him in anger. The boy wanted him dead, he had felt it when Allen hit him. How many people wanted him dead? That didn't include a certain redhead who would probably tear him to pieces once she finds out--

Shinji and Yuri turned to the door to Toji's hospital as it opened. Asuka entered followed by Rei. Asuka had a haunted look in her eyes as she looked at Yuri, then at Shinji. Shinji thought Asuka looked like a scared child during the moment that their eyes locked.

"No change yet, huh?" Asuka said as she looked over to Toji, her hands on her hips. "We're going home to change for the funeral," She glanced towards the younger Suzuhara. "Then to the old cemetery and then we're going to say good bye to Henri. Want to come?"

"Um, no thank you, I need to watch over him," Yuri said uneasily as she nodded towards Toji.

"I think you should go Yuri, " all the children turned to see a tall man who looked like an older version of Toji who was dressed in a suit and had a lab coat slung over an arm. Yuri looked at her father, trying to think of a way to tell him that she hated going to funerals. She hated the very concept of human death. "Don't worry. I'll look after Toji, it's not as if he's going anywhere." They all laughed awkwardly at Mr. Suzuhara's joke.

000

The Chapel. A structure on a slope inside the geofront, it also served as a memorial to the more than seven thousand NERV soldiers and technicians who died during the First Wave. As most memorials in Tokyo-3, it was both a reminder and a warning - and most people associated with the First Wave would rather not have anything to do with them. The Chapel was in the form of a half-circle, un-roofed, and with many arched doorways. A solid black-granite wall ran along the back of the chapel and listed all the names of those who fell during the late spring of 2015 to the first day of 2016. Wooden pews followed the contour of the half circle. A brass sculpture of the eternal flame stood in the center of the Chapel. And now, in front of the eternal flame, a flag-draped coffin rested.

"A tricycle with one wheel missing," Allen said as he stared blankly at the coffin. A hand unconsciously touched the bandage over his left eye. `Mother would have chewed me out for this.'

"What?" Juno asked as she finished her prayer. She rose from kneeling at the pew and brushed off the dust from the knees of her white stockings. She was wearing her dress uniform consisting of a white long-sleeved, collared shirt; short, black skirt; those irritating white stockings; and black boots. The collar of her shirt was currently open. Allen wore the male version of the dress uniform - and looked comfortable in it, the result of being what Juno called a military brat. His jacket lay on top of hers on the pew in front of them, their berets on top of the jackets.

Juno rested her arms along the backrest of the pew they were sitting on. She felt empty, as if a big part of her life disappeared, yanked out by some unseen hand.

"Did you know that he was the very first friend I had here? Actually, he was my very first friend," Allen swallowed back the tears. A part of him was mad for showing weakness, but another part of him told him it was all right since he was still just a child. "It was raining when I got here. I thought it was good since it was like what I was feeling. I really missed my mom and I felt so gloomy. I liked the rain since it reminded me of what I felt. Then I felt someone pat me on the shoulder. I turned and there he was. He was carrying an umbrella and he was humming something. He asked me if I was also a pilot, when I said yes he gave a cheer and pulled me under his umbrella. At first I was angry because he was ruining my privacy, but something about him told me to calm down. It's as if his mere presence soothed me."

"Yeah, that was very much how he makes people feel. Do you remember that first day we all met? It was during a synch test. You two looked like lost sheep," Juno and Allen smiled at the memory.

"Yeah, and you looked as if you'd deck anyone that talked to you. I already told him that you're probably a bully or a bitch, but he still walked up to you and asked if you were a pilot or did you just like hanging around boys in tights."

Juno laughed, "I seem to remember that I slapped him."

Allen laughed, "You did, then he just said 'Well mademoiselle, I'm sorry if I insulted you, would you care for a cup of tea after the test?', heh, I can't believe you said yes."

"It's like what you said, there was something about him that put me at ease, no- not just at ease but rather happy."

"That's true," an adult's voice intruded into the children's conversation. Juno and Allen jumped and looked behind them. Misato stood there in her dress uniform, she carried a ridiculous looking bird with red feathery spikes for eyebrows and a metal collar. The image of a tough professional soldier was offset by the bird.

"This is Pen-pen, he's a hot springs penguin," Misato said in a tone that seemed to explain everything. Allen and Juno looked strangely at Misato. Misato sat down on the pew beside Allen.

"The last words he said to me was 'It wasn't your fault', " Misato paused. "He was in pain yet he managed to say it and he even gave me a smile. I regret not knowing him better. I barely knew him and my heart's aching. It must be Hell for the two of you who know him better than all of us put together." Misato bit her lips, a terrible sense of loss gnawed at her.

"Not really Misato," Juno said, surprising even Allen. "One thing that Henri always told us was to live is to laugh. He told us once that if he died, he didn't want anyone crying. If we become too sad, we know he'll scold us. The little jerk's a real fucking pain in the ass when he wants to be."

Allen and Juno smiled. They all became silent and watched the flag-draped, sealed coffin.

000

Kensuke lay on his bed, unable to sleep. He held his camcorder in one hand and looked through it at the ceiling which was littered with scale models hanging on thin wires. But his mind was not at what he was doing; it was somewhere else.

In his mind he was somewhere where Death thrived, where blood was spilled and tears were shed. He remembered his first battle.

NERV (Hamburg) - Second Defense Line
Germany, Spring of 2016

Kensuke had always dreamt of fighting, of becoming a great soldier and a hero. When he learned of the Evangelion Project years before, he knew he wanted in. But that was before, before Toji's incident. He started to fear the monstrosity at that point and everything military. The bravado of childhood was replaced with the reality of adulthood. He became horrified of war during the Eighteenth Incident less than two months earlier, when the terrible reality of violence touched his own life. His plugsuit's right sleeve had been removed to accommodate his bandaged limb where shrapnel had ripped open his forearm from the back of his hand, all the way to his elbow. Kensuke shuddered as he remembered his last memory of that dreadful day. He had been holding his father's body when Unit 01 took to the skies along with the avian EVAs, terror ascending unto the Heavens. He lost consciousness a moment later due either to the blood loss or the effect of the combined AT Fields (no one knew which), and woke up in the field hospital hours later.

"You need to live." His father said that before he died. The men in black suits also said that when they gave him the offer. EVA was his hope for living. Now he was here far from his homeland, fighting for the future of humanity. After less than two months of training he was here along with several of his classmates to protect the Seventh Branch from attack.

Kensuke felt queasy. He knew the fight he was going into was not a fair one. Kensuke looked at the large positron cannon his EVA was holding, the latest in anti-matter technology. Definitely not fair, not by a long shot. He had once fantasized that when he would be ordered to kill, he would do it without hesitation. He was a soldier after all. But that was fantasy, this was reality.

Unit 15. His very own EVA, and he didn't even like it, didn't even accord it the affection he had once dreamt of giving his very own EVA once he got it, the affection he thought pilots give to their aircraft. The white unit was kneeling on one knee, the scaffolding of the improvised cage reaching up into its back. Beside it was Hikari's Unit 17, his backup for this mission. The loudspeakers warned of the beginning of the operation as the sun set and the stars began coming out. Kensuke climbed into the elevator to get to the entry plug. He could see Hikari climb into her EVA as the technicians helped him into his. Hikari told him that she joined up on the condition that NERV won't conscript her sisters who had also been chosen. Kensuke knew why she really joined: Toji had been reactivated as a pilot a day after Kensuke had been selected.

Once the entry plug had been inserted, the scaffolding fell away and a crane came to attach the wing array and the external battery packs.

"Units 15 and 17, proceed to sector 237653, you will rendezvous with Units 16 and 18 in flight. Unit 02 will be dropped behind the target area so be careful of your fire." Kensuke listened to the command and made his EVA spread its wings, the power meter started to count down from fifteen minutes. With a little mental manipulation, he made the EVA jump and spread its AT Field to counter the Earth's gravitational pull. He began to fly on his metal wings, like the proverbial Angel of Death. They told him he was had the highest synch ratio in his batch of recruits. It was almost as if he had been born to pilot EVA. He smiled grimly. They had said the same thing to Shinji.

Below him he could see the battle, the brilliant flaring of explosions and the rain of lights from the exhaust of missiles and tracer bullets. Hikari flew several kilometers behind him. The huge black EVA transport which carried Asuka's EVA overflew them and headed for the enemy's rear. Two more winged EVAs came flying over the horizon to join the battle. Intelligence reports said there were at least four division of "rebels" down there, facing two divisions of UN troops. He overlaid a tactical map over his main monitor. He saw blue and red tags appear by each target, blue for friend, red for foe. Kensuke exhaled and aimed, the targeting crosshairs meeting with the triangular pointer. He could see the red targets panicking as they looked up, they had been warned that EVAs would be sent against them but they didn't believe that the UN still had EVAs after the disastrous Eighteenth Incident. Now they would know their mistake as the four winged demons circled over their heads.

"Evangelions, prepare to open fire," it was Misato's voice over the communications link that sealed their fates.

Kensuke felt numb, as if he didn't care and didn't think, but inside, a little boy was crying for him to stop. He remembered his fantasies of being the heroic soldier. No hesitation. He was a soldier after all... He pulled the trigger and watched as the positron shell arc downward into the mass of metal and men. The little boy inside him wailed. He saw a bright flash of light as tanks and people were thrown high into the air. One shot. The little boy within him died. He began to empty his clip as he had been trained. Hikari was also doing the same. Between them, they destroyed a whole division while Units 16 and 18 destroyed another one. Asuka tore apart whatever remained.

The next day when Misato brought him and the other pilots to the secured battlefield, he became sick at the carnage he had wrought. The smell of smoke, gunpowder and burnt flesh and blood assailed his nose. The sight wasn't that great either. This was the final lesson in their training: They were the greatest killing force on the planet.

"You're the one who wanted to become a pilot," Misato had said as he retched along with the other three pilots. Asuka just looked on impassively, her arms crossed and her eyes cold.

000

Kensuke felt ill, he wanted to throw up as the memories of the battlefield returned. He went to the bathroom and washed his face.

"You're alive, they're not," he said as he stared at his reflection in the eye, "Deal with it."

He dried his face with a towel and began to take out his best uniform.

000

Col. Katsuragi's Apartment

Rei turned to the room she shared with Asuka while Yuri sat down on the couch, worried by where she was going. She didn't like death.

Shinji and Asuka stood on the balcony and looked out at the city below them. Shinji remembered the first time he and Asuka had been on the balcony together. Misato had ordered them to eat, breathe and sleep together in preparation to fight the Seventh Angel. They had moped together on the balcony, listening to their respective disc players while assorted underwear fluttered over their heads. Shinji blushed at that memory, not believing how naïve and innocent he had felt during those early days.

Asuka looked at Shinji, wondering why he was blushing. His dark blue eyes were intently watching something in the distance. She found his eyes cute, especially when he smiled. She thought she could stand there for hours and just lose herself in them. She could feel the tension that was gnawing at her melt away as she gazed at him.

`Asuka.' Shinji's thoughts wandered to the beautiful young woman beside him. He remembered how she had embraced him the previous night, how he wanted to return the embrace but felt dirty at the thought of taking advantage of her moment of weakness. To his shame he already did it once and every fiber of his conscience screamed at him not to do it again. Asuka, the girl had driven him to confusion more than any other girl he knew. This girl had exasperated him, all those times that she had acted so wickedly, teasing him, yelling at him, picking fights with him. As far back as he could remember Asuka had been mean to him. Even when they had kissed that one time she had meant it as a cruel joke. His eyes were suddenly tinged with indignation, his forehead creased into a frown. He was nothing but a plaything for Asuka, a doll that she could bend to her wishes. He had been a fool for letting her do those things to him. He remembered the time she screamed out how she hated him, how he meant nothing to her. And no matter how much he tried to fight it, she had been his first real crush. It broke his heart to hear those words from her. Maybe she did deserve what he had done.

He stopped cold- this was the old argument within him, did he need to feel guilty or not? He remembers the hug she gave him the previous night and how she had fiercely defended him against Allen. Of course he was at fault! No one deserved what he did to Asuka!

Asuka had seen the flash of anger in Shinji's eyes, and guilt and remorse suddenly gripped her. Was he angry with her? She knew she had been a bitch during the year they lived together, but she's changed now! She didn't want him to be angry with her. She remembered the hateful words she had spoken to him, the painful strikes she had inflicted on him. Too many times she had abused his timidity and kindness. Of course he would hate her! She had been an insecure little brat. What if he thought that she was still the same?! Asuka felt horror as she remembered the incident when they woke up that day, the look of resignation on his face as he cringed for the slap she had involuntarily readied. How could he... Her eyes moistened, not seeing the change in his eyes from anger to sadness.

Shinji felt the need to tell her all about that morning of the Eighteenth Incident. That violation of trust, the theft of innocence. Shinji reluctantly turned to the young woman, his heart heavy with worry of losing her friendship. But he couldn't accept her friendship without telling her of what he did to her that day. And when he does tell her, she would push him away, and the possibility that she would kill him, or at least hurt him badly, was not very distant, considering her aggressive and violent nature.

The boy reluctantly faced Asuka, the desire to run away was strong, compounded with the horror of anticipating pain. Needless to say, Shinji was shocked to see her face. He didn't expect her to be teary eyed, her lower lip quivering with guilt and sorrow.

"Um, Asuka?" Shinji asked as Asuka bowed her head and sniffed.

"Sh-Shinji, I- I'm sorry," Asuka cried as she grabbed onto the startled boy's shirt.

"I'm sorry I acted like a bitch, I'm sorry, please forgive me! I'm sorry for all the bad things I did to you, I- I was..." Asuka's sobbing drowned out what she was saying.

Shinji stared at the quivering girl who had rested her head on his chest. He could feel her tears soaking his shirt, but something told him it was a very bad idea to pull away from her right now. The boy felt an ache in his heart, his resolve to confess drained out of him. So Shinji did the only thing he could do, he pulled her closer...

Yuri chose this time to look out the balcony. She stared wide-eyed at the two before remembering herself.

"And Misato was angry at Allen and Juno?" Yuri muttered to herself as she blushed and tried to ignore them.

Asuka felt Shinji's arms around her as she cried in relief and sadness, a part of her wanted to flinch and pull away at the contact - this part was stomped by the rest of her which wanted to swoon in the young man's embrace. She looked up and saw that Shinji had a wistful look in his eyes and was looking far away. The fear that was in her heart since that morning became acute.

"Shinji," Asuka said in a hoarse whisper, "I don't want to lose you. Not again."

"Hm?" the boy asked. Asuka turned her face up to him and frowned.

"Tell anyone about this and I'll kill you. I do have a reputation to uphold." She said, a hint of the old Asuka in her voice, the Asuka who was full of fire and could break boys into two for just thinking of touching her.

`My Asuka...' Shinji thought as he looked down as Asuka gently pushed away from him and smiled at him. The boy repeated that thought in his mind, savoring the sound of it.

The red head wiped the tears from her eyes before leaning on the balcony railing to gaze out pensively at the city. Shinji smiled to himself, he had perfectly heard what Asuka had said before her threat.

Asuka felt Shinji looking at her and she turned her head, their eyes meeting. And for a moment as they looked into each other's eyes there was peace.

Rei finished buttoning her uniform to the collar then pulled her jacket over it. Her placid face belied the fact that she was worried about something... Rei tilted her head a little and felt something that made her sad and happy at the same time. Rei looked at the bedroom mirror and smiled sadly. She could worry about the other Children later.

000

The whine of a passing hover jet made Commander Santiago look up. He stood up from kneeling in front of the grave marker. Around him were other pillar-like grave markers, most of them had bouquets and small UN and Japanese flags. Most of the people had already left the cemetery so Santiago thought it was time to go. He had a funeral to attend to.

"Good bye, Alicia. Don't worry, I'll look after the kid." Santiago started walking away, his hands in his pockets.

000

Shinji, Asuka, Rei and Yuri walked towards the old cemetery in silence. Asuka and Shinji had also changed to their dress uniforms - complete with the red berets and jackets, Shinji had been slightly embarrassed from the compliment Asuka and Rei had given him about looking good in a uniform. Shinji did feel uncomfortable by the fact that Asuka had insisted he wear his gun. They had then gone over to the Suzuhara's apartment building so that Yuri can change before they go to the funeral.

Yuri and Shinji were both carrying bouquets that they had bought from a flower shop. Yuri had been a little reluctant while buying her bouquet. She was still uneasy about visiting places of death.

At the entrance to the cemetery, Shinji turned to the girls.

"Um, could I please have some time to myself?" Shinji asked uneasily.

"Sure, we understand," Asuka gave him a cheerful smile at him.

"Yes," Rei smiled sympathetically, "tell them 'thank you' for me."

Yuri nodded and watched him walk away. She looked and saw that the other girls were looking at her expectantly. Yuri looked down at the bouquet she held in her arms then returned their gaze. Yuri nodded sadly then turned towards her grandfather's grave.

Shinji knelt down and placed a bouquet at each marker. He knew that both graves were empty. There was nothing to bury. Shinji felt the emptiness within his heart, the desire to fill the void was strong but he didn't know what to fill it with.

"Mother. Father. I--," Shinji stopped. He didn't know what to say. He had little memory of his mother. His mother died when he was five. He also knew that the closest thing he had to his mother were Unit 01 and Rei. One had taken her life, the other her form. Most of the memories of his father were of them locking horns or ignoring each other. He knew that he had hated his father, but he also knew that he had loved him and desired his love. Shinji leaned forward and rested his forehead on his father's marker.

Shinji had always dreamt and hoped that he and his father would make their peace. But they never did. Shinji felt the void in his heart once more and he began to sob.

Yuri placed the bouquet at her grandfather's grave. She looked at it and she couldn't believe that underneath it was a man that had sat her on his knees and read her stories. Yuri sighed and looked up at the clouds. The bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds seemed to remind her of life.

She remembered her grandfather popping up at the school to bring her lunch box. Grandfather teaching her and Toji how to do their homework. Grandfather taking them to the movies and to the park.

"Gramps," Yuri whispered. She remembered her last memory of him. Her grandfather and some doctors were going to move her from the NERV hospital to Tokyo-2. Her grandfather comforted her since her father was still working in the research department. Toji had been transferred only hours before her. He should have transferred several weeks before but he refused to be moved without her. It took Hikari to get him finally moving. The attack started as the sirens and defense guns went off. The hospital shook as the JSSDF bombed them. The hospital tilted as it began to collapse. Her grandfather threw himself on top of her to shield her from the falling debris. When Yuri woke up hours later, her grandfather was gone.

"I'm sorry I didn't go to your funeral and never visited," Yuri said with sorrow. "I just couldn't accept that you're gone..."

Rei and Asuka were by the cemetery gate, Asuka was sitting atop the low wall kicking her heels against the wall while Rei was content to just lean against it. They can see Yuri and Shinji in the distance and the sea a little farther off.

"How do you feel?" Rei asked.

"Are we going to play this game again?" Asuka grumbled.

"Yes." Rei turned her head to her friend. "If we had not played it in the first place, we would never have been friends. You would still be calling me names and I would still think you are a noisy nobody."

Asuka sighed. The Game was her idea in the first place.

"I feel terrible." Asuka looked up at the clouds. "And what's worse, it's not because Henri died but because ... people I like may die. I don't feel so Goddamned secure anymore. I know it's very selfish and self-centered, but it's how I feel."

Asuka jumped down, took a blade of grass and started ripping it apart. "I knew the Angels could get to us but ever since it ended I always believed that we won't die, we're the good guys. We'll get banged up, even go a little insane, but never die. I don't know what God plans for us but we cannot die. And now..." with a little growl Asuka threw the bits of grass into the air. She stared off in Shinji's direction with her lower lip thrust out. She fought off the desire to go to his side as she saw him slump down on a grave marker. Taking a deep breath she glanced sideways and found Rei also staring off towards Shinji's direction.

"How 'bout you? How do you feel?"

"I feel empty." Rei's shoulders slumped.

Asuka waited for what seemed like an eternity before her brow knitted.

"Rei, you know you have to elaborate. If you don't, I won't play this game with you anymore." Asuka huffed and crossed her arms in her best impression of a bratty child.

Rei giggled a little before becoming sad again. "Everyone is sad because they are afraid they would lose someone or because they have lost someone important to them. I do not have anyone like that."

Asuka was taken aback by her friend's statement. Then she gave a wry smile and a sad, crafty look in her eyes. "So you mean, we're nothing to you?"

Rei looked at Asuka, her knees weakening from the weight she had suddenly felt on her shoulders, or more precisely - the weight tugging on her heart. Rei fell on her hands and knees, her red beret falling off her head.

"Me, Misato, Shinji... Hell, I thought Commander Ikari meant something to you..." Asuka held a faraway look in her eyes as she watched the tormented girl before her.

Rei remembered a memory she inherited, of a boy kneeling just inside the emergency panel of an entry plug. She had thought that the boy was someone else. "Don't say you have nothing else," the boy said to her. Rei wiped away the tear with the sleeve of her jacket.

"You all right?" Asuka asked as Shinji and Yuri started walking towards them. She extended an arm to help Rei up.

"Thank you Pilot of Unit Two," Rei said with a smile.

"Think nothing of it Wonder Girl," Asuka replied, pleased that she had played the game.

000

Misato looked up as Asuka, Shinji, Rei, and Yuri arrived at the chapel. Allen slept with his head on her lap. Juno was sprawled out in an unladylike manner on another pew and Misato had thrown her jacket over the sleeping teenager. Both Children had been unable to sleep since the end of the battle earlier that day and they had finally succumbed to fatigue. Misato put a finger to her lips to signal the new arrivals to keep quiet.

Yuri saw the sleeping teenagers and as if her body finally registered its need for sleep, she slumped forward drowsily. Shinji reached out and caught her. The young girl smiled up at the boy, `Maybe, he's not all bad...' she thought as she fell asleep in the boy's arms.

"Let me have her," Rei said as she took a seat on a pew, take the smaller girl into her arms and let Yuri sleep with her head on her lap. Shinji looked at Misato and Rei. To him they looked like mothers caring for their children. Mothers sheltering tired children.

Shinji noticed that Asuka had taken a seat on a pew far from Misato and Allen. Her eyes were focused on the coffin. Asuka gave Shinji a wan smile as he took a seat beside her.

"Asuka, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Shinji... nothing at all." She leaned forward, her elbows rested on her thighs. Asuka's head slumped forward and her hair veiled her face from the boy beside her. Not that she needed to. He knew perfectly well what she felt. For some reason, their synchronicity seemed to have intensified. But now instead of just physical feedback and surface thoughts, he could actually sense her emotions.

With some apprehension, Shinji placed his hand on Asuka's shoulder. He blushed as Asuka covered his hand with hers and gave his hand a little squeeze.

"We were never meant to die..." the redhead whispered.

To Be Continued

In the Next Episode of Heaven and Hell:
Misato: As the first cycle ends, the last actors are introduced. In the shadows, secrets are revealed. And the sorrow of the innocent must be drowned in forgetfulness. Heaven and Hell 0:9 A Prodigal Daughter, a toast to the departed.