Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ In the Dark Room ❯ Shiritori ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is a Studio Gainax production, its characters created by Hideaki Anno. They say the word, and this story ceases to exist.

In the Dark Room: Shiritori

By Midnight_Cereal

“Come forward a bit, I can't see you…yeah, that's pretty sweaty.” Shinji stood up from the sofa, removed his SDAT ear plugs, and appraised his soaked, exhausted new roommate from his vantage point in their living room. “What were you doing?”

“Basketball,” Mariko answered simply. She stepped forward into the living space, using the bottom of her shirt to quickly wipe copious sweat from her brow. “I was taking some snapshots of the cherry trees at the park, and some boys needed one more person for a game. So I was like, `I play some ball,' and they went, `you're any good?'”

“Are you?”

“Let's put it this way. Our team got on about ten-thirty this morning. We got off at about one-thirty, and that's only because I left.” Mariko walked under one of the air conditioner vents and let it run over her wet hair. “I'm not saying they sucked or anything, but I got tired of breaking their ankles.”

She exhaled exaggeratedly. “There was this one guy who was really good, though. I actually had to try to score on him.” She looked at the Third Child with a shade of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. “I don't sound too arrogant, do I?”

Shinji Ikari, paragon of positive spin, snorted derisively. “Until I met Asuka I didn't know arrogance was a skill. You're fine.”

The sweaty teenager laughed softly, and then sobered. “So…she hasn't gotten up yet? It's already ten past two, you know.”

Shinji looked slightly uncomfortable as he hesitated to answer. “Well, she was up pretty late, and she had some trouble getting to sleep. Besides, if she was awake, we'd know by now…there's no way I should've gotten away with what I just said.”

Mariko spared a glance at the red head's door and moved away from the vent toward Shinji. “Um…” she gently started, “last night was…she's like that often?”

The boy smiled reassuringly and slowly shook his head. “She didn't yell at you to spite you. You just have to understand…that she's had it rough. She had it worse as a little kid than any of the other pilots as far as I know.”

The Sixth Child's black eyebrows arched like bows. “Really?”

“Don't take it personal, okay? How she was last night. Please?”

“I know better than to do that,” she assured him, pulling a damp short sleeve up and over her shoulder as her eyes turned downward. “That probably freaked her out, I mean me trying to shake her out of it, you know? She barely even knows me. If anyone should've been trying to do it, it should've been you. I mean, God, she loves you.”

He responded with a sound that may have been another laugh, but it withered somewhere between his throat and lips. “I doesn't matter what she really feels…”

“Whoa. That was…dark, man. What did you mean by that?” she nearly whispered, and by necessity had closed much of the space between them as they stood in the middle of the sun-drenched living room. Outside, beyond the patio, the rare cloud hung in the spartan blue above Tokyo-3.

When Mariko's head tilted at an inquisitive angle he looked to a far wall and found something terribly interesting to study. “What I mean? Nothing. I don't want to bring you into this.”

“Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you do. Or you wouldn't have said that just now. Shinji, if you're looking for help, you found it. I want to help.”

“I know. I may not be that good at reading people, but I got that sense from you, at least.” His gaze had finally crawled back to her verdant eyes. “I'll tell you later, alright? I promise.”

“You don't have to promise a thing, `cause I'm not going to let you forget. Everyone here is nice, but they're so on edge. God, we go into Nerv today. It's Sunday. What time do we have to be there again?”

“Five-thirty. But I'm telling Maya that Asuka's not feeling well.”

She scanned him up and down. “You're already dressed, though.”

“Oh, yeah.” He looked down at himself and shrugged. “On Sundays I usually go to Ueno and walk a bit. Then I'm visiting someone.” Shinji sat down heavily and put the headphones back into his ears.

“Just someone, or Misato?” she quickly asked before he could press `play'.

“Misato. Right.” He closed his eyes.

“Can I see her with you?”

He opened his eyes.

“Just let me wash up. It won't take long. You weren't leaving right this moment, were you?” Shinji wasn't answering. “I…are you mad I asked to go with you to see her?”

When he looked up at her, his gratitude was painfully transparent. “That,” he said, “is about as far from the truth as you could possibly get.”

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Asuka was about as far from awake as a healthy person could possibly get. The phone cheerfully warbling next to her bed failed to pique her consciousness the first time it rang. Or the second. Or the third.

By the fourth ring an arm lazily emerged from the tangled mass of covers and hair like an elephant's trunk; to search for the source of the disturbance or a hammer with which to mercilessly smash into oblivion, she honestly did not know. By the fifth ring, phone in hand, she was thinking, this had better be good.

“Uh…well, only if you like slasher flicks. Is this Asuka? This is Asuka, isn't it?” The voice over the phone held a tenuous grasp on its joviality.

“I didn't mean to say that,” Asuka rustily explained as she awkwardly shrugged to herself. “I don't mean to be doing anything right now, Yukie.”

The class representative gave a delighted gasp. “Hey! You recognized my voice!”

“You've only told me to rise, bow and sit half a dozen times a week for the last two years. Give me some credit.” Yukie sounded as if she was moving as she spoke to Asuka. The Second Child propped herself up with an elbow as she looked at her clock and baulked at the time and the chalky taste in her mouth. Then she sighed.

“Yukie, look...I have to be at Nerv in about -damn- fifty minutes. What were you seeing?”

“Black Forest Two.” Yukie sounded wholly disappointed.

“Hey, it's not like I want to go into Nerv on a Sunday. I'd go with you otherwise.” No she wouldn't, because if she wasn't careful, Asuka would be living a horror movie faster than she could say Audition, and right now she didn't want to be reminded of it.

“Alright then,” Yukie sighed. “We might do something afterwards, so if you change your mind…can I just give you my cell number?”

Thirty minutes later, Asuka Langley Sohryu, now clothed and fully (but not happily) awake, read the letter on the kitchen table. Her face had no audience, so she kept it blank as she reread the carefully scrawled kanji. She chewed on the piece of jellied and buttered toast, and thought for a minute, but had to crush a sudden panic that swept through her. Asuka thought for another minute. Then she wiped her hand, and plucking her cell phone from her pocket, hit the speed dial.

“Hello?” Shinji answered.

“You idiot. Why didn't you tell me earlier I was getting the day off?”

“I-”

Click. There. Shinji was alive. And she had apologized. Feeling worlds better, she skipped to her room to retrieve Yukie's phone number.

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“-didn't want to wake you…” Shinji stopped talking when he realized he was speaking to a dial tone. Not breaking stride to Misato's grave marker he replaced the phone in his pocket.

“Asuka?” Mariko inquired.

“Uh huh.”

“That didn't sound like it went well.” They passed a man with glasses stalking sullenly toward the front gate of 3-I Memorial Cemetery. Shinji did not return the look the man gave him.

“It went fine. She was just saying everything was okay.”

“Is it?”

“For now it is, and that's good enough,” Shinji assured her as they strolled, looking beyond the memorial grounds and upwards. A tram car shone in the reflected sunlight in the far distance. It glided downward in a slow descent into the crater, and then hid itself behind a bevy of gigantic commercial towers rooted in the floor of the old Geofront. They similarly shone in the abundant daylight.

A click and a whirring sound brought him back to the plot of quiet land in which he was standing, and to the girl that had just taken his picture.

“I…” She stopped as he gazed passively at her. “When you looked up, I believe I saw the real you,” she began to explain as she lowered her prized possession and walked back to his side. “I know, I know…that's corny. But just for a second, I could see inside you…and I live to capture moments like that.”

Mariko's narrowed lids and black lashes hid her green irises when she studied her most recent exposure. She closed the distance and showed the Third Child the freeze frame. “See, Shinji? That is a serious man there. He looks like he has…a lot to answer for.”

“You can tell all that by the picture you just took?”

She quickly pulled the camera back to her and stepped away. “Nope,” she said. “I don't know,” she said. “Maybe.”

“It wouldn't surprise me if you could,” admitted the young man, silently counting the lines of grave markers on the way to Misato's.

“Why?” she asked.

“Is there anyone you haven't made friends with since you got here?”

“Asuka.”

“Anyone reasonable?”

She playfully shoved him and chided, “You shouldn't say things like that! You're supposed to be the understanding one!”

“The only thing I understand about her is that she'll never let me understand her. Ever.”

She visibly sobered as their eyes met and he said, “You know what the sad thing is? I think I understand you better than her. Since you've got here, all you've done is try to open people's hearts, to get to know them. I don't know why you do what you do, but the act, I understand that. I knew a boy who did that even easier than you did. So I understand.”

It was the Sixth Child's turn to look beyond the present landscape, to the steel spires in the heart of Tokyo-3's bottom-tier commercial sector.

“Open people up, huh?” He saw the back of her head as she slowly shook it. “That's not always a good thing, Shinji. That's why Asuka, her attitude, didn't surprise me all that much. It doesn't matter how…good you are at it. Usually when you try to look at someone's heart, they offer some kind of resistance. But the good thing is, if you keep at it, they stop struggling sooner or later.”

“Do you honestly believe that?” he asked after a pregnant second.

“I'm not saying it's easy, and I'm not thumping my chest or anything. It takes a little strength, you know? People fight you so hard, sometimes.”

“Why do you do it, then? I mean, if they fight it, I don't think it does much good to force them.”

“I know that I should probably stop when they resist it. But I'm compelled. I can't help it.” She shrugged as if trying to rid herself of her slight blush. “It's something I need to work on.”

“You sound like you know a lot about this,” he marveled, eyes ahead once more.

“Ever since I was a little, little kid.”

For a moment their silence was tinged by a far away bustle and soft weeping, which was closer. Much closer.

“So, this guy, the one that you mentioned,” she gently pursued, “you said you knew him. He's gone?”

“Kaworu's gone. Just like her.”

She followed his sightline immediately before them. They had arrived.

“She was only thirty…what do you usually say to her?”

As he knelt in front of Misato's stone marker, his black reflection answered the question posed. “Anything. About…how I'm doing, how school's going. She had a pet, so I tell her how he's doing over at an old classmate's house. I tell her about Asuka.”

“Waitaminute…doesn't Asuka usually tell her about Asuka?”

His head dipped. “She doesn't come here. I mean, when I visit Misato, she'll wait for me outside of the graves. But she never comes in.”

“Why's that?” Mariko pressed. “I'd believe you if you told me she didn't get along with Misato.”

“That wasn't it. She had problems with Misato, but that wasn't it.” His shoulders rose with a short but steady breath. “Are you sure you want to hear this story?”

The tall girl shrugged as a light breeze kissed her and ruffled her black hair. “Only if you want to tell it.” Mariko stared at his crouched form, an odd look passing over her otherwise pleasant face. “I like stories. A thousand words are worth a picture.” She stepped closer behind him.

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“Ahh! How long were you behind me?” Yukie asked, startled by the newcomer outside of the multiplex.

“About twenty seconds,” answered a smirking Asuka.

“You're cheek already looks better,” the first girl added quickly, openly staring at the bandaged wound.

“I haven't thought about it in a while,” Asuka lied, her second to the class representative in the last week. Thanks to a dizzy spell during a P.E. volleyball match, it was easy to convince Yukie she had injured herself under similar circumstances.

“C'mon. Aki already got our tickets.” The brunette started brusquely toward the theater's front entrance. “I can't believe you changed your mind, Asuka, you never want to do anything when I ask.”

Something plucked a nerve at the nape of Asuka's neck, and she convinced herself it wasn't guilt. “I didn't turn you down because I hated you or anything…”

“And I never took it that way. But, thanks anyway. I just wish I was thinking when I planned this. I would've asked Mariko to go with us.”

“She pretty much had to go into Nerv today. She's new, so they have to catalogue, like, everything she does before she can actually pilot. Hell, they'll probably want to know her period sooner or later, but it can't be hel-”

Asuka stopped abruptly and returned Yukie's stare, though the German girl's look wasn't nearly as questioning or confused, or fearful. It made sense in one insightful flash.

“You didn't know she was a pilot, did you?”

As they approached their classmate Aki Ando, a short girl with braided locks, Yukie's stare maintained its intensity as she confirmed Asuka's suspicion. “But…why would you need-”

“We don't need a new pilot, Yukie, so relax, okay? And keep this to yourself, since it seems no one knows about it, please?”

We don't need a new pilot, thought Asuka. There've been no Angels, no discernable outside threat since Third Impact. Nerv's permanent standby policy and been dissolved only months later.

Shinji's and her `missions' had less to do with defending humanity from giant space invaders, and increasingly more to do with studying the neural feedback caused by synchronizing with what was essentially a giant human being. The Second Child could not, off the top of her head, discern what possible application it might have in the real world, but apparently the team of scientists that visited Nerv about six weeks ago had.

Most importantly, there was only one Evangelion. Its official designation was Evangelion Unit-14, but around Nerv, it was known as GINO -Gouki In Name Only. Oh, all of the pilots could synchronize with it, could make it walk, but that was the extent of the behemoth's capabilities as far as Asuka could tell.

Compared to Eva Unit-14, its older siblings had been precise and efficient marvels of technology, the absolute culmination of a dozen-dozen scientific disciplines. That was including Unit-00, the prototype that even three years ago wallowed in obsolescence.

Unit-14 was not even that. Linking to it was like pouring mud in your ears. It didn't have the effortless speed and clean lines of her Unit-02. When she sat in it she couldn't will power to surge in its limbs similar to that which Unit-03 had crushed her with. And it certainly wasn't Shinji's Unit-01, which quite simply was invincible.

Yukie had asked the right question. Why the hell did they need a third pilot?

“I won't tell anyone, Asuka.”

Before Aki was within earshot, the red head pilot said, “Good. I can see why you'd get nervous. I remember you from junior high. Trust me, Yukie. Nothing's happening.”

“Hey, Asuka,” greeted Aki.

“Hey yourself,” said Asuka. “You guys have pretty good taste. I love this theater, I go here all the time.”

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“There're a few reasons Asuka doesn't come here, and it has less to do with Misato and more to do with Kaji. He doesn't have a marker here because he died before Third Impact, but Asuka thinks he should.”

“This Kaji guy…she's never mentioned him to me,” said Mariko from behind the boy hunched over the polished black marker.

“And she probably never will,” Shinji answered. “When you talk to her, just try not to bring him up, or family, unless she brings it up first. Especially family.”

“So what was Kaji to her? Her boyfriend?”

He gave a short laugh as he adjusted his weight. “She wished. She prayed. And did it out loud. In letters. Over the phone. To my face…”

Mariko noiselessly bit her lip. She looked at the silent grounds around them, bereft of life save for the two teenagers crowding the tomb of Nerv's Operations Planning Manager. They were alone. Shinji continued.

“He was nice, and I guess you could call him handsome, and he probably thought so too, because every other time I saw him he was hitting on some woman. But he was, like, thirty years old. And he belonged to Misato.”

“But, you say it wasn't about Misato?” Mariko hesitantly reaffirmed to no one in particular.

“Just try to understand that this place is nothing but sadness to the people that lived here when this whole mess was happening,” he steadily explained to the small monolith. “She's on edge when she comes down here; you see it in her eyes. It makes her skin crawl to see visitors here smiling and laughing, taking pictures.”

He must have sensed Mariko wincing.

“Mariko, I don't mean you. I mean the people that come down here like they're on some field trip. I think it's disrespectful too, but Asuka, she gets so crazy about it.” He shrugged as Mariko fidgeted behind him. “But them being here is just a consequence of everything that's happened. There's no real reason for pouring so much government money into this place, not anymore. The Angels are gone. You know Unit-14?”

“More than I ever wanted to know. Maya can be…thorough.”

“Then you should probably also know that it's just a big, grey, rusty security blanket. I don't mean to scare you, but if there really are more Angels, we're screwed.”

“I don't get it, then. Why bother having an Eva if there aren't going to be more Angels? If you're going to bother building one, why not make it…” her brow twitched, “…not shitty?”

The Third Child settled on his haunches, and spared a glance at the girl practically standing on top of him. “Research. Nerv needs the money. It's the synchronization process scientists seem to be interested in, and you need pilots to synch.”

His voice…shifted in tone subtly, as if tracing a one-degree arc. “The money that comes into Nerv from the experiments we run is supposed to be…substantial. Everything in the Geofront used to belong to Nerv. Maybe more than half of the grounds were decommissioned. Sora-Ichi Tower, all those other skyscrapers, the malls, Memorial and Tokyo-3 high schools, the golf course, Matsushiro Field House, that's all new. Business and tourism drive this place now.”

“Listen to the professor!” She sounded truly impressed. “Someone's been doing their research.”

“Someone's been here way too long. You just learn things if you're here long enough.”

“I can see why people would come here.” She looked around. “Well…not here here. I think this city is gorgeous.”

“Well so did the guy who wanted Asuka to take his picture in front of the Memorial. If he hadn't been a German tourist, who knows what she would've done to him.”

“When I imagine it,” she said. “I keep seeing things packed in ice.”

“So do I.” And they both shuddered.

“Shinji?”

“Yes?”

“How do you know there aren't anymore Angels, for sure?”

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“Aki, I don't know. That's something you'd have to ask Shinji about. He knows much better than I do.” Asuka paused as she grabbed the popcorn from the counter. So much for keeping Aki out of earshot, thought the German. The girl had pretty good hearing. She'd better be good at keeping secrets, too.

“Actually, no, don't ask him. You're going to have to take my word for it.”

Aki lifted an eyebrow but said nothing as the three made their way to theater eight.

“So…how are you and him doing now?” Yuki asked, grinning smartly at Asuka, who threw her full hands up as best she could.

“Why does everyone assume I'm going out with that skinny little boy?”

“Because you've been living alone with him for two straight years,” Aki stated matter-of-factly, completely unfazed by Asuka's bluster.

“Yeah, I know. I know. But it's just convenience. I mean, we make money-”

Never mind that Shinji, her, and Touji were set for life by a repentant Japanese Government…

“- but sharing the apartment is cheaper than living alone.”

“Oh,” said Yukie. “Then you must be pretty happy Mariko's staying with you two, now.”

“Yeah,” Asuka lied, her third to Yukie in the past week. “We had an extra room-”

“Living right down the hall from you and Shinji,” Yukie said.

“One more person to clean the toilet-”

“With Mariko here you're freed up,” asserted Aki. “Now you don't have to wait for Shinji when he has clean up duty.”

“That's right,” Asuka confirmed, smiling tightly. Weren't they at theater eight yet?

“Or eat with him during lunch,” offered Yukie.

“Or sit with him during the class trip,” Aki quickly added.

“Or partner up with him on Activities Day,” Yukie volleyed.

“Or send him messages during class about how loudly he was snoring the other night and where'd he put your blue and green polka-dot panties-”

“YOU TWO. ARE. STOOGES!”

Yukie and Aki stared wide eyed at Asuka's manic outburst while other theater patrons went out of their way to avoid the obviously insane foreigner. This was rather difficult at the moment, as the girl was partially blocking the only entrance to theater eight. Leashing her fire-breathing dragon, Asuka stepped out of the way and up to the two stunned girls.

“I call Moe,” said Yukie before Asuka could offer a grudging apology.

“I call Larry,” Aki quickly followed.

Asuka closed her mouth, then smiled and slowly shook her head. “I'm sure as hell not Curly.”

“You can be Shemp,” Aki helpfully suggested with a shrug.

Asuka shot her a queer gaze. “Who the hell's Shemp?”

“The fourth stooge,” said Yukie.

“I don't do replacements,” Asuka established. “Can we be another trio of early twentieth century film icons?”

“No,” the other two girls said in unison.

“Fine. I'm Shemp.” She turned to face the entrance to the screen. “So this is supposed to be scary, right?”

Aki leaned into Yukie as they followed Asuka in. “How much you wanna bet Asuka's little tantrum will be scarier than anything we see in the next two hours?”

“Forget that. What the hell's scarier than blue and green polka-dot panties?” Yukie asked.

“Will you two just shut up abouHOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT?”

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“Because I was God when Third Impact was happening. How's that for arrogant?”

“That's…yeah, that's pretty arrogant. Can you back it up, Shinji?”

“Not a chance. Any power I had at that moment, I lost it when I lost Unit-01. I wished it all away.”

She sounded subdued behind him when she asked, “So…what did you do with that power? What was it for?”

“It depends on who you ask. I suppose…if it really was the power of God, it was for anything and everything.” His fingers reached out to momentarily caress the headstone. They came away with a slight film of grime. “But you probably guessed that I didn't do anything to make your life better.”

“I don't remember much from Third Impact,” Mariko said as she reached into her satchel. “There were a lot of voices, screaming. Now, don't ask me why I know this, but I knew that it wasn't out of fear. The screaming got closer, I think I screamed too. Then…I woke up on my apartment floor.”

She stopped groping in her bag and handed Shinji a red cloth over his shoulder. He noticed and took it, smiling graciously before turning back and putting the rag to work.

“Are you mad?” he suddenly asked. “I could have wished all of your problems away. I blew it.”

“I don't get mad easily. Even if I did, it wouldn't be right for me to be angry at you. It wasn't like it was your responsibility to change my life.”

He shook his head as he wiped at Misato's marker. “Yes it was, because at that moment I was the only one that could. Kaji taught me that. And he was right. I try to live my own life, like Misato wanted me to do, but that doesn't change the fact that I failed everyone. Everyone in the world.”

He stopped wiping. “I failed because I was angry. I…” Shinji Ikari laughed as he knelt, but it was not a happy sound. “I should've been thinking about Asuka or Rei, or Kaworu or mom or Misato, something…I don't know…positive when it was all happening. I couldn't.

“But I thought about the soldiers that killed all those people at Nerv, tried to kill me. They shot Misato. Shot her right in the back. I thought about the people that sent the soldiers there. I thought about my father, and I got angry.” His voice grew low and cold. “And then I made them all pay.”

“What…” Mariko mustered before she had to swallow. “W-what did you do to them?” If Shinji noticed her newly clenched fists and her sudden labored breathing, he made no indication. She screwed her eyes closed as if shutting out something onerous. And then she bit her lip. Hard. Shinji answered the shaking young woman behind him.

“Everyone except my dad, I…if there was a name for the place I made for them and sent them, it'd be hell.” He shrugged. “I wouldn't be surprised if they were still alive. I don't know how time works there. In any case they'll never find their way back here. I saw to that.”

“How about…” She took a breath, and it was as fragile as glass. “What about your dad?” A wavering hand unclenched and found its way back into her satchel, shuffling through its owner's belongings once more.

“I killed him.”

The hand stopped moving.

“I found my way to him when he should've seen beautiful things, and I made sure that no matter where everyone ended up, he wouldn't be joining us. I punished him.”

Mariko shut her eyes again. Tightly. She stifled the slight whimper that quivered her pink lip, once again haltingly exhaled.

“But that's all I did, Mariko. Punish and feel angry and kill. It was as if…as if I became every injustice I had been dealt since father abandoned me. It was all I could feel. In the end, it was like riding a bike all your life, and then suddenly flying a fighter jet. I crashed and burned. I didn't have enough control. I didn't have enough time. When I actually began to understand the things I could do, it was all over. So…” He threw his hands up to the crystal blue sky.

“Here we are. The best friend I ever had still has one arm and leg, haven't seen him in years. Asuka shuts me out. Rei is gone. Misato is still dead. And now I'm a murderer.”

“No.”

Shinji finally turned and stood at the indignant force behind Mariko's denouncement.

“No,” she repeated, her dark bangs obscuring her eyes. “You're kind…you appreciate kindness. Good people appreciate kindness. Why do you even think these things about yourself, Shinji?”

“Because it's true.”

“You're no killer, alright?”

“I didn't mean to upset you. But it doesn't matter, really, how nice I act, or how many dinners I cook for you and Asuka. I was changed that day. I killed. Nothing I ever do will change that. I don't even feel that bad about it.”

“So that's how it is?”

“Yeah. That's how it is.”

She nodded to herself, and then burst into tears. Then she hid her face in shame with her palms as Shinji stood before her, the offer of comfort implicit in their closeness. She took him up on it and embraced him. Hard.

“W-what's wrong?” he asked when he could finally breathe.

“What if…I told you…I've done things I'm not proud of?” he heard her question between shuddering breaths at his ear.

“I think…there's a limit to forgiveness. Then there should be punishment. I truly believe that now. Some people deserve to pay.”

“But I don't want you to hate me, Shinji.”

“Then don't tell me what you did, if you honestly think it's that bad.”

“Y-you're okay with that?” she asked with greater composure. “Running from the truth like that?”

“It's what I'm being punished for. What's one more drop in the bucket?”

“You're not a killer,” she reaffirmed at length, sniffling.

“Why can't I ever say the right thing?”

She squeezed tighter.

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“You can let go now, Aki,” Asuka told the shorter girl gripping her arm with the gentleness of a hydraulic press. “So which was scarier, the color of my panties or the movie?”

“Shut up,” said Aki, releasing the red head's arm with a loud huff as they walked out into the bright multiplex lobby. “Not everyone can be a soldier girl, Asuka.”

“Yeah, I suppose that's true,” said Asuka as she put her hand to her mouth for maximum haughtiness. “Actors with prop axes really don't compare to giant faceless hell beasts attempting to atomize you with particle beams.”

“A particle what?” Yukie asked as Aki sipped her soda.

“Particle beam. Made from…” Asuka paused. “…particles.”

Yukie was nonplussed. “What university did you graduate from, again?”

“Technische Universtät München. And don't you forget it.”

“How the hell am I gonna remember it if I can't even pronounce it?”

The Second Child rolled her eyes. “C'mon, Yukie,” she chided, “All that time you spend with you boyfriend? That tongue's gotta be good for something.”

“I'm finished my soda now,” a slightly ill-looking Aki informed them, dumping the remaining beverage into a nearby trash receptacle. “What now?”

“We get some real food,” Yukie offered, then looked to the outside and slightly frowned. “Does our weatherman always have to suck? It's going to be hot and sunny or hot and rainy, and it's not sunny. How do you get that wrong?”

“Hey! My brother-in-law's the weatherman!” Aki said defensively.

“Tell your brother-in-law he sucks,” Yukie suggested.

Aki shrugged. “Okay,” she said.

“God, Yukie, don't be such a damn baby,” Asuka sighed. “It's just water. There's a place like half a block from here.” The red head's grin was filled with unpleasant things. “I'd think you'd enjoy getting a little wet, Yukie.”

Aki pinched the bridge of her nose. “Asuka…could you…not say anything long enough for me to work up an appetite?”

Asuka answered in a placating tone. “Okay, fine, Queen Victoria. I shant further offend thine delicate sensibilities.” She pointed a finger at Aki. “You should know I'm being easy on you. Do you have any idea how fun it is to say those types of things to Shinji? I swear one day I'm going to go too far and he's just going to stop breathing.”

End of Shiritori

A/N: Please don't take the following seriously…

MC: It was about time I established the relationship that Mariko and Shinji have. And no, by relationship I do not mean that Mariko will be, um, `piloting Shinji's Evangelion' any time soon. Yeah…I like that euphemism.

Reader: So by `any time soon,' you mean that they will get together later on? You know what people say about ACC's getting with pilots, right?

MC: Get away from me.

Reader: That's awfully rude…after I spent all this time reading your long-ass chapter…

MC: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Reader: Dude, put it this way…you're making up this conversation as you go along. You're essentially talking to yourself.

MC: Shut the hell up.

Reader: You only have eleven reviews…

MC: T-That's only because ACC's are the poisoned goat-cheese of Evangelion fanfiction! No one wants to read anymore stories about a new pilot.

Reader: Oh, then it makes perfect sense to write a thirteen chapter novel about an AUTHOR CREATED PILOT.

MC: Bite me. I'm watching something violent and then going to bed.

Reader: :P

MC: Smartass. Thank you for reading and your criticism. Ja.

Reader: Wait, how can you follow up `bite me' and `smartass' with your `thank you' spiel? That's a little disingenuous, don't you think?

MC: Where's my bat…

Reader: Aren't you forgetting something?

MC: Forgot to put my foot up your…Next Chapter: Flash