Evangelion Fanfiction

By Otaku D-Man

Standard Disclaimer.

Refer Chapter the First

I never realised how difficult it is to juggle work (designing civil infrastructure for a government authority is not as easy as it may sound), anime (I average 5-7 new Anime DVD'S a week from both Japan and the USA), reading (books, magazines, fanfics), surfing the wired and tinkering with my PC's, eating, exercising and sleeping. I've practically given up watching regular TV and I don't even want to think about my social life at the moment. Now I'm writing Eva Fanfics. Does anyone else find that 24 hrs/day is not enough?

Insight and Understanding

Chapter the Fourth - Christmas Presents

Somewhere

<Where? That's right, I died. Or was I absorbed by EVA again? It's different to last time.> Shinji opened his eyes. There off in the distance was the same spiral galaxy he had been watching prior to his passing out.

"At least the pain's subsided" As he spoke he noticed his cheek was resting on something soft and comfortable. Slowly turning his head, he gazed up into a pair of coal black eyes, devoid of iris or pupils, but being an EVA Pilot, things like this were becoming almost common place. "Um, hello Miss. Sorry about that. Please excuse me" he made to get up but found himself gently pinned in place by her hands.

Blushing uncontrollably as his head rested in the woman's lap, Shinji tried to avert his gaze from the woman's quite obvious 'assets' displayed prominently just above his eyes.

Slowly, one of the woman's hands gently caressed his cheek. It was such a natural feeling, one he could barely remember. He returned his gaze to her face. Her white oval shaped head was crowned by long silvery white tresses. Her large eyes dominated the face that contained a small nose and small mouth. A mouth that held a gentle smile.

<<AFFECTION>>

It wasn't so much that he heard the word. He couldn't have. Her lips hadn't moved. Instead it was a series of impressions that washed over his senses. Images that he associated with the feeling rolled across the landscape of his mind.

"I'm sorry. I don't understand" Shinji felt slightly disturbed by the unblinking gaze that held him.

<<CARE>>

Again a series of impressions, stronger than the first, washed over him. His mind reeled as he began to decipher the intent of the impressions.

"Me? You're thinking about me?" Shinji gasped as he saw the central focus of her emotions "Why? I'm nothing. Worthless" Shinji's voice cracked as he felt his self loathing rise to the surface, sweeping across his mind, cleansing him of all that he thought was worthwhile about himself.

The woman slowly shook her head, disagreeing with his self analysis.

<<WANT>>

"You 'WANT' me?" he could not comprehend how this person could not see him for what he truly was. Her images of him showed him to be some sort of hero. Far from his own perception of self.

<<NEED>>

Her face lent down nearer to his own. Shinji felt trapped by her eyes. He focussed on her lips as they descended, brushed lightly against his own.

<<LOVE>>

"You love me? No, you can't love me. I hurt those who would love me, those that try to get close. I killed the only one since Mother who said he loved me. I'm nothing but a murderer. I'm nothing. Not worthy of love." He broke down into a fit of sobbing as he continued to denigrate him self. Abuse upon abuse. Hating all that he was. Not knowing that he was more than most could ever hope to be.

Cradling the young man in her arms, Lillith, Mother of the Lillum species, shared in his grief.

<<UNDERSTANDING>>

In his confusion, Shinji felt the woman's own knowledge of what it was to be alone and abandoned. Finding the strength to sit up, he stared openly in wonderment at the person before him. "You know. More than anyone I've met. More than myself. You know" Shinji reached out to run his finger tips softly against her cheek.

Her eyes closed as she leaned her face against his palm, bringing her own hands up to enclose them around his.

Shinji noticed the single silver tear escape her closed eye lids. It glistened against her pale skin as it slowly made it's way down her face. Bringing his other arm up, he gathered the woman into an embrace, hoping to ease her suffering, ignoring his own pain.

"Please don't cry." He whispered as he stroked her hair.

<<GRATITUDE>>

A pair of eyes watched in silence. Masking her presence was difficult in this place. The presence of the Mother was not exceedingly difficult to comprehend. While her physical presence was confined, her soul had always been free. The Lillum had thought to harness her light and trap it within a mortal shell, hoping to have some measure of control. All they had managed was to replicate the light to a degree. It was the presence of the young Lillum male that intrigued her. She knew this one, had known him all his life. While the shell he used was young, she had known his light since before the fall, before even First Impact. The Lillum she had spoken with had promised her that the boy would be hers once again. Her eyes, dark and sultry, narrowed in anticipation.

***

NERV Medical Test Facility

"Synchronisation passing 65%, Doctor. Life signs failing once again. Initiating pulse, Life signs stabilising"

"Excellent. Continue the process until he achieves 75%." Doctor Subaru marvelled at the progress they had achieved.

Within a five day period the subject had died seven, make that eight times. Each successive death and resuscitation caused a resultant increase in his ability to achieve dimensional compatibility with the entity in Terminal Dogma. Commander Ikari had labelled the giant white creature 'Lillith'. Doctor Subaru cared little for such terms. The medical procedures were paramount.

Whilst the treatment itself was physically demanding, the subjects body had adapted at an alarming rate. This allowed the team to fast track the tests, affording them time to study and refine the process.

Commander Ikari cared little for the steps involved. He expected results.

And results they had to show. In a little less than three days, the subject would have attained complete synchronisation. His body had healed almost completely. All traces of his injury, being struck head on by a delivery truck, were virtually gone. A medical miracle in anyone's book.

Activity in the brain was commencing in the areas controlling higher functions and thought process. All indications of the subjects awakening were developing.

<Soon, soon you will awaken and the accolades I have deserved all this time will finally be mine.>

Doctor Tsukasa Subaru sat back and watched her test subject writhe in the agony of enforced genetic manipulation. She wondered what his scream would sound like from within the chamber, and then fantasised how delightful it would be to perform similar experiments on the other two pilots.

***

Katsuragi/Ikari/Sohryu/Ayanami Residence

"Gott in Himmell, where the hell are my clothes?" Asuka spat in frustration. "Misato, you haven't taken any of my shirts have you?"

"No Asuka. I've got my own dilemma's wardrobe wise" Misato answered from her room.

"What about you Wonder girl? You've been awfully quiet of late. Schiesse, what am I saying. It's Wonder girl. She barely says more than three words a day" <Unless your name happens to be Shinji Ikari> she thought bitterly.

"No Pilot Sohryu, I have not, nor have I ever worn any of your garments." Rei replied from Asuka's doorway.

"Yeah Yeah, whatever First Children" Asuka mumbled as she continued delving through the vast pile of used clothes that had accumulated of late. "Dammit Hikari, why couldn't you come over and help like I asked?"

Asuka suddenly glared at the blue haired girl, "Wait just a minute First. Just whose shirt are you wearing?" Asuka inquired.

"The shirt belongs to Shinji" Rei responded, a slight pink tinge spreading across her face.

"Baka's? Why are you wearing his clothes?" Asuka inspected the white button up shirt <Might be a bit small for me but it looks pretty clean>

"I am presently out of clean clothing. Shinji's clothing is clean and neatly pressed." Rei decided she did not particularly enjoy the glare the Second Children was offering, and made to leave.

"Who in the hell gave you the right to do that?" Asuka demanded, her voice raising in both decibels and octaves.

"I did Asuka." Misato Katsuragi appeared out of her room, dressed rather casually in her short cut off denims and also wearing one of Shinji's shirts, albeit stretching the material in key places.

"Hmph. If it's good enough for you two to wear Shinji's clothing, I suppose I can lower my standards for a few days. At least until the Baka gets back." Asuka strode purposely towards Shinji's 'Lovely Suite' and entered. Sticking her head back out into the corridor, "This does not leave the confines of this apartment. I forbid either of you to tell anyone. Especially the Baka himself" Asuka retreated once again into Shinji's room to peruse his wardrobe and pilfer it of whatever remained that suited her taste.

Misato shrugged her shoulders, the antics of the young girl continued to amuse her. "Rei, you can keep a secret like this, can't you?"

Rei stared at the woman, "I have kept many truths concealed. Most for reasons not my own. I will not deceive Shinji should he ask me."

"But if he doesn't ask …." Misato left the statement unfinished.

"If Shinji does not ask, I cannot presume to worry him needlessly." Rei offered a slight smile.

"Misato, get in here now!" Asuka's voice carried more than just her normal vitriol when demanding things.

<Please Kami-sama, I hope she hasn't found any dirty magazines.> Misato groaned.

"Asuka, don't freak out, it's only natural for a teenage boy to have a few ……" Misato trailed off as she noticed Asuka removing three large gift wrapped boxes from Shinji's emptied wardrobe. Shinji's clothes lay strewn on the floor.

"Misato, get your mind out of the gutter. Baka Shinji would not dare to have any of 'Those' magazines here." Asuka levelled a withering gaze at her guardian. "Besides, he has the other two stooges to supply him with that sort of filth. Perverts, all of them"

"Well, please excuse me while I drag my mind out of the sewer," Misato rolled her eyes as she spoke with as heavy an amount of sarcasm as she could muster, "but in the meantime, what's the deal with the presents" Misato indicated to the ornately wrapped gifts.

"Must be Christmas presents. It is only a month away after all." Asuka pointed to one wrapped in a dark lavender paper with a Yebisu beer can motif. "This one's for the tramp of the house" Misato's eyes narrowed in anger, as Asuka continued pointing to the next on wrapped in a dark blue paper with a pale blue snowflake and full moon motif, "This one's for Wonder girl," and picking up the last one, wrapped in a flame orange red paper with a sun and floral motif, "And this one is mine"

Misato was inspecting her gift, while Rei picked hers up and looked at the other two with a slightly confused expression. "What am I to do with this item?"

Misato chuckled while Asuka stared at the girl in disbelief. "It's a Christmas present. What, are you seriously trying to tell me you've never received a gift before?"

"I do not recall such an event ever occurring before." Rei sat on Shinji's bed, gazing intensely at the package, as if it would somehow reveal the answers she sought. "It is a pleasant feeling though." A slight blush appeared on her cheeks. "Most agreeable."

Staring at the First Children for another few moments, Asuka shook her head and looked at Misato, "I'm going to have a quick peek inside, what about you?""

Misato's fingers itched to begin tearing at the paper. She desperately wanted to know what Shinji had got for her. "Just a quick look then we wrap them back up and put them back where you got them, agreed?"

"Agreed" her two co-conspirators voiced.

In a small bedroom, devoid of most of the trappings of a normal teenage male, three woman, two the same age as the male in question, began the painstakingly slow process of carefully removing the wrapping paper to see what the young man had to give them come Christmas morning.

***

Office of The Supreme Commander of NERV

Gendou sat at his desk, perusing the latest report submitted on the Third Children. When he had first heard the proposal about near death experiences acting as a catalyst in encouraging the compatibility between the Test Subject and Lillith, he had been sceptical. But the results proved the Doctors hypothesis.

By simply forcing the subject to 'die', the subsequent return to life provided a necessary stimulus that somehow instigated a greater level of adaptation at the molecular level. At present the Doctor's team were trying to isolate the cause, but thus far all tests had been fruitless.

"It is almost as if the causality of his death itself is the trigger mechanism. What are your thoughts Fuyutsuki?"

The elderly man's brow furrowed as he considered the implications. "It appears to be particular to the boy himself. Not one of the Test Rei clones ever showed such a capability. Considering the First Children's organic composition comprises some of Lillith's own structure, it seems almost ludicrous that Death and Rebirth (A/N - ^-^) could have such an effect"

Gendou leaned back in his chair and swivelled to look out onto the Geo-Front. "Ludicrous or not, the statistics speak for themselves. Once the Third Children has returned to active duty we will be able to gauge whether the project is back on schedule."

"How do you intend to deceive SEELE of these latest developments? The Doctor's team could quite easily betray us."

"As always, I have implemented the necessary precautions against any such occurrence." Gendou smiled, "Once the Third Children has recovered, Doctor Subaru's Project Team will meet with a series of unfortunate accidents. There will be no survivors, save the Doctor herself. As for what I tell SEELE, Keel understands that I am running my own scenario alongside the Committee's. Complete deception is unnecessary. As long as he considers my scenario complements that of the Committee's, he will not act."

"Perhaps, but I will still implement the necessary false leads, deceptions and cover-ups regardless. With your approval of course." Kouzou smirked.

"Of course, Sensei"

***

Katsuragi/Ikari/Sohryu/Ayanami Residence

"I still don't see why you two have to be here. Asuka won't appreciate it" Hikari Horaki muttered as she rang the doorbell to her best friends apartment.

"I don't give a damn what the demon thinks. I'm walking with my girlfriend to school." Touji declared, bringing a slight blush to the Class Representative's cheeks.

Kensuke began coughing and laughing. "Well the liar here can say what he wants. I'm here to start my day off the right way by greeting Misato-san, hopefully naked, but I'll take what I can"

"Shut it Ken, that's meant to be a secret." Touji admonished, wincing as he realised his not so subtle deception was now revealed.

"Some secret Dumb Jock. The fact that you and the Geek here practically nose bleed a waterfall whenever you see Misato screams that fact that you two Stooges are absolute perverts." Asuka sneered from the now open doorway.

"Ah the Demon's just jealous that not a single man living or dead would ever be interested in her" Kensuke rebutted, quickly stepping behind his friend.

"What did you just say? I'll shove those glasses so far up your ….." Asuka was deprived of her opportunity to finish her threat as Misato joined her at the doorway, beer in hand, scratching her stomach through her (Shinji's) shirt.

"Good Morning Misato-san" cheered Touji and Kensuke in unison as they completely forgot the 'Red Devil'.

"Morning boys" Misato winked, "Walking these two lovely ladies to school this morning?"

"Who?" Kensuke asked

"Where?" Touji wondered.

"Pigs!" Hikari stated as she proceeded to hit the two males with her book bag.

"Misato, where's Wonder girl? I didn't see her at breakfast." While Asuka wasn't concerned over the well being of the First Children, she was curious, and slightly paranoid about her whereabouts.

<She better not be with Shinji> She fumed. The simple fact that Shinji was hospitalised and most likely unconscious, did not mollify her.

"Rei said she had to go to NERV to get some supplies for the apartment. It's my guess it has to do with Shinji returning home tomorrow." Misato yawned and decided that it was time for another drink and a long soak in the bath before heading to work. Bidding farewell to the group, Misato idly wondered whether Shinji would want to come home to a clean apartment or if his 'Neat Freak' instincts would be better served if it was left in it's present state.

<At least there's no stray animals in here this time> Misato thought as she recalled Shinji's last prolonged absence after the Fourteenth Angel.

***

Streets of Tokyo-3

"Say Asuka, is Katsuragi-san intending to throw a 'Welcome Home' party for Shinji-kun tomorrow night?" Hikari asked as she tried to maintain some moderate level of peace between her best friend and her boyfriend.

"This is Misato we're talking about. Every nights a party night for Misato, even if it's just her." Asuka chuckled. "The fact that the Baka's coming home just give's her more of an excuse to get drunk, flaunt herself shamelessly and tease Shinji."

"Misato-sin's going to flaunt herself. We are so there, right Touji!" Kensuke chimed in.

"Wouldn't miss it for all the money in the world" Touji replied, just a little too enthusiastically for Hikari's taste.

"I don't remember extending any invitations to Stooges" Asuka shot venomously.

"We happen to be Shinji's friends, unlike a certain red headed Bitch Queen from Hell" Touji growled.

"Yeah, why not do Shinji a favour and not turn up. I'm sure he'll appreciate your absence more than anything else" Kensuke added, making sure to position Touji between himself and Asuka, just in case.

"What was that, geek?" Asuka began to stalk menacingly towards the now cringing youth.

"Asuka, we don't have time for this. We'll be late for school" Hikari pleaded.

Asuka glared at the source of her fury. <You'll get yours Stooge. Oh Yes you will. Both of you> The glare changed to one of satisfaction as she grinned at the two males. "You're absolutely right Hikari. I don't have time for petty things like this"

"Touji, is it going to rain today?" Kensuke asked, bewildered over the fact that he hadn't been attacked by Asuka.

"Doesn't look like it, Ken." Touji looked up at the clear sky, "But the Devil don't let things slide just like that. Better watch out for yourself"

Kensuke nodded as both youths followed the girls at a discreet distance.

***

NERV Command Centre

"A party?" Ritsuko answered.

"Yeah. To welcome Shin-chan back. Come on Ritsu-chan, you've got to be there." Misato whined.

Ritsuko sighed. If she didn't give in now she would be pestered all day by the lavender haired Major. "Okay Misato. You win. I'll be there" Ritsuko held a hand up to stall her friend, "Work permitting"

"Come on Ritsuko. Now that your extracurricular activities with the Commander are a skeleton in the closet, you should have more time to just let go and have fun." Misato whispered with a smirk.

Ritsuko blushed. "You promised that would not become public knowledge"

"Oh don't be bashful. It's one of the more interesting rumours that does the rounds in this place." Misato said. "What do you think guys, Ritsuko needs to get out more often or what?" Misato directed at the 'Bridge Bunnies'.

Shigeru paused in his air guitar strumming, "Definitely Major. The Doctor needs to let her hair down."

"All work and no play can ruin any chances she has of finding 'Mr Right'" Makoto added from behind his manga.

"As if you'd know, Hyouga-kun. You don't even have a girlfriend." Maya countered in defence of her Sempai.

"Like you have a boyfriend?" Hyouga countered.

"Children, children. Leave the bickering for now. Ritsu-chan's and Makoto-kun's love lives, or lack there of isn't the topic of discussion," Misato laughed as she pat her friends shoulder, "we're celebrating the return of my Shin-chan and you're all invited"

"I'm there Major. What time and is it BYO?" Shigeru queried

"Of course I'll be there Major Katsuragi!" Makoto responded a little too eagerly, then realising how it sounded he blushed furiously and decided to hide behind his manga once more.

"What about you Maya-kun?" Ritsuko prompted the usually shy young woman.

"I'd like to be there, I never really had the chance to thank Shinji-kun properly." Maya smiled slightly.

"Thank Shin-chan? What for Maya?" Misato was curious about this.

"A while ago, I gave some serious thought to quitting my job here. Shinji-kun convinced me to stay on." Noticing that she was now the centre of attention, Maya blushed, feeling terribly self conscious. "I blamed myself for what happened during the Thirteenth Angel Incident" There was a sudden silence as all present had suffered to some degree during that particular episode.

"That wasn't your fault Maya-kun. You were just following orders." Ritsuko tried to sound encouraging.

"I know that. I knew it then. But I couldn't stop hearing Shinji-kun's voice as he begged for us to stop the Dummy Plug. All that pain. And the injuries that Suzuhara-kun suffered. It was all too much for me. I wanted to just curl up and disappear." Maya paused for breath as she struggled to control her emotions. "Shinji-kun found me in the cafeteria not long after he had been released. He had just told the Commander he wouldn't pilot ever again and was leaving NERV for good. I was having another bad day and when he approached me, I just broke down. I apologised for what I had put him through. What I had caused to his friend. I told him that I was going to resign so he wouldn't have that reminder any more. Do you know what he did?" Maya looked at Misato and Ritsuko.

"I can guess." Misato whispered.

"He offered me a cup of hot tea and told me that it wasn't my fault. He explained that while his friend, Touji I think his name is, was seriously hurt, that it could have been much worse. He wanted me to know that he was thankful that I saved not only his friends life but the lives of everyone else." Maya sniffled. "He smiled and thanked me. And he hoped that I would be there to watch over Asuka and Rei, because he wouldn't be able to anymore." She whispered.

"Sounds like Shinji" Misato said as Ritsuko nodded.

"I never had the chance to sit down and tell him how much it meant to me to have him place his faith in me. I get the feeling that he doesn't hear words of thanks or praise too often." Maya said as she stared into her half empty coffee cup.

"Shinji wants to hear things like that. But at the same time he dreads it." Misato sighed.

"Why's that. It's not like the Commanders ever going to give him that sort of acknowledgment." Makoto wondered.

"Shinji's terrified of contact. Emotional, physical. Sometimes I look at him and he seems so lost. I guess since he never heard words of praise or affection while he was growing up, he became afraid of what they meant. Afraid that he wouldn't measure up to what the words implied." Misato shook the memories of a sad and alone Shinji away. "But that's all in the past. Shinji's coming home tomorrow and we are partying until dawn the following day."

"Kami-sama help us. It'll be 'Yebisu Frenzy'" Ritsuko shook her head as the rest of the bridge crew laughed.

***

Tokyo-3 MunicipalHigh School

Asuka sat idly at her desk, ignoring the elderly sensei and his continuous monologue of pre-second impact life. <Shinji comes back tomorrow.> Resisting the urge to just rest her head on the desk and fall asleep, like certain other elements of the class were already doing, Asuka tapped out a quick message to Hikari.

- ALS - Hikari, Want to come shopping with me after school?

- HH - Of course Asuka. I need to look at getting an early start on my x-mas shopping.

- ALS - I know it's late notice, but can you help out with the preparations for the Baka's return party tomorrow.

- HH - Why Asuka, anyone would think you actually liked Shinji-kun!

- ALS - It's not like that! He's just getting out of hospital after being hit by a truck. One taste of Misato's cooking and he may just end up in a coffin. Will you help or not?

- HH - Yes I'll help. Tomorrow's Sunday so there shouldn't be any problem.

- ALS - Great. I knew I could count on you. Thanks Hikari!

- HH - Asuka

- ALS - Yes

- HH - Well, since it's a party and all….

- ALS - So?

- HH - It'd only be you, me Ayanami and Katsuragi-san getting things ready?

- ALS - Yeah. Not that Misato or Wonder girl are all that much help around the apartment.

- HH - Well, I was thinking that maybe ….

- ALS - What?

- HH - IsitokifIinviteToujitocomeandhelpout?

- ………

- HH - Asuka?

- ALS - NO!

- HH - Please Asuka

- ALS - ABSOLUTELY NOT!

- HH - If it's for Shinji, I know he'd really want to help. Please Asuka.

- ………

- HH - Please

- ALS - It means the other stooge will also want to be there

- HH - Probably, they are Shinji's friends

- ………..

- HH - Asuka?

- ALS - OK

- HH - Thank you Asuka!

- ALS - If either Stooge says so much as one perverted, stupid, chauvinistic comment ….

- HH - I promise they'll be on their best behaviour Asuka

<The things I have to do for friendship> Asuka lowered her head to the desk in utter resignation. <You better appreciate what I'm going to have to put up with Baka Shinji.> Asuka then smiled as Shinji was now in debt to her.

End Chapter the Fourth

Tbc

Authors Post-Rant -

Just what did Shinji get for his three room mates? Just who is the woman watching Shinji and Lillith? Why is Lillith with Shinji anyway?

All these questions and more will be answered. Not necessarily in the next instalment, but eventually.

On a side note. The purists (I am sure there are plenty of them) will have noticed my slight modification to the EVA Timeline (A month out from x-mas? Who am I trying to fool)

I ask that you grudgingly turn a blind eye to this anomaly, it sort of helps with my overall story.

Ja Ne