Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Interregnum ❯ The Arrival, Pt. 2 ( Chapter 3 )

Interregnum

By TheLastWaltz

Rating: T

 Notes:          Neon Genesis Evangelion is the property of Hideaki Anno, King Records, Starchild, Studio Khara, et al. This a fan created work, and I do not intend to make any money from it. Should the involved parties request that I take it down, I will do so.

Chapter Four: The Arrival, Pt. 2

          Shinji stood in the night, along the curving beachfront road and around a corner where the severed head of the Second Angel could not torment him with its dead stare and horrific grin, his form silhouetted by the light of a fire spilling out from what was once the front of a convenience store. It had been eight weeks since he had returned from the sea of LCL, and no one had yet joined him. He still lived in the shelter beneath the city, and spent most nights locked in the radio room, calling out into the void that was once the world. Other nights, he went to the beach, sitting on the blood-stained sands and staring out into the sea, waiting for someone to return. Each time he went home disappointed. However, he had formed for himself an iron-clad rule to never look into the eyes of the fallen Angel. One night he had tried, and the longer he stared into her eyes, the greater the pull had been to return to the sea and evaporate once more into the depths of Instrumentality. Once again, his mind had enacted its safety protocols and he had bit his tongue again, the pain striking like a gong, cutting through Lilith’s siren song.

          “What the fuck, Third?” Asuka asked, standing next to him as the two of them calmly watched the store burn. Shinji turned to look at her, blinking in surprise, before the reality of the situation sunk back in.

          “Oh...right. You’re still just in my head.” he replied, sighing and turning back to the store. The Asuka in his mind gave something of a noncommittal shrug before responding.

          “Yeah, I’m a hallucination. So what? Doesn’t make the situation any less weird, Third.” Shinji just snorted in response. “I mean, really? Pyromania? Is this who or what we are now? You set a convenience store on fire because you’re lonely? Imagine what Wonderbitch would think.” the Asuka in his mind finished with a mock gasp of horror. Shinji’s fist clenched in anger as his teeth ground.

          “Ayanami? WHERE THE FUCK IS AYANAMI?! She gave me the strength to come back to a dead world, and told me that people could come back if they wanted to, but no one does! No one wants to come back to this red hell! I am going to live and die as the last man on Earth! The last thing my mother told me was that anywhere could be paradise if you want it to be. There’s no paradise here, only rot and decay, and me. This city is falling apart and my mind is going with it! There’s nothing living here, and nothing to live for! God damn SEELE, God damn Father, God damn everyone who used us, and God damn...me for being stupid enough to create this fucked up place...” he trailed off, dropping onto his backside in the middle of the street. Even as the flames grew higher, Shinji shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. He drew his knees up to his chest and simply stared into the flames. His eyebrows barely flicked upwards as the roof collapsed down into the store as it continued to burn. Luckily, he was on the outskirts of the city, on the opposite end of the beach, so there was no risk of other buildings burning with the store.

          After a while, Shinji picked himself up and walked down the three concrete steps that separated the sidewalk from the beach, and started to tread along the white sand, just before it turned red at the foot of the tide, the crusty material clinging to his shoes as he traversed the shoreline. Deciding on a change of pace, he decided to eschew his typical coveralls, and wear his school uniform tonight. Black pants, white shirt. Before he knew it, he was passing the grave markers he had erected, and as he rounded the corner, the face of Lilith. Shinji felt the familiar leaden squeeze in his gut as he forced his gaze away from the fallen demigod. Feeling his strength expended, he simply fell back into the white sand, gazing upwards at the crimson streak that sliced through the sky. The wind shifted, and Shinji looked to his right, his eyes widening at the sight of Rei Ayanami, hovering over the red sea in her school uniform. He blinked, and she had vanished once more. His mind then registered a presence next to him, and he looked to his left, his eyes widening further as he saw the form of Asuka Langley Soryu lying next to him. Shinji’s heart erupted with a million emotions as his pulse skyrocketed. Was this how Ayanami deigned to torment him despite her assurances? Maybe Ayanami’s words themselves were a cruel ploy to twist his mind and his hopes. His hands clenched as white-hot rage spread through his body. It was her, the image of Asuka that tormented him every day and night for the past eight weeks. If he could kill his hallucinations, Shinji believed he might finally find peace. Asuka. The girl who had abandoned him when he needed her most. Asuka. The girl who was every inch his mirror in ways both good and bad. Before he had even realized it, he was straddling her with his hands around her throat, intent on squeezing the life out of her. Shinji’s features shifted into a mask of hatred as he gradually increased the pressure on Asuka’s windpipe. Slowly, and just before she lost consciousness, she reached up to gently placed her bandaged palm on Shinji’s cheek and caressed it tenderly.

          At the feeling of Asuka’s touch, Shinji’s hands ceased their efforts to end her life. His face now ran through a mixture of shock, fear, and bitter remorse before his head now dropped onto her chest, sobbing as his hands left her throat and instead gripped her shoulders as tight as he could. Soryu’s face however, remained impassive as she looked up at the sky, and the bright red stripe now banding the stars.

          “How disgusting...” Asuka rasped out quietly as Shinji lifted his head from her chest, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

          “What is?” he inquired, sounding every bit as exhausted as she did, looking down at Asuka, from where he was still straddling her. Asuka angled her eyes to fix Shinji with a penetrating gaze.

          “A lot, Third.” she replied, reaching up to rub at her throat. “I have a whole fucking list, and we’ll be going over it, line by line, until I get the answers I want.” she finished, the hoarseness in her throat getting worse as she spoke. “Now get the hell off me, Baka Shinji.” she growled, causing Shinji to roll off her as if she were about to attack him. Asuka grunted as she tried to force herself up into a sitting position, using her elbows and forearms to brace her body. Shinji stepped forward to try and help her but she waved him off furiously. “Don’t you fucking dare, Third!” she shouted, before looking up at Shinji’s crestfallen expression. She sighed and decided to try again, her voice coming out as a croak, the shouting worsening her already raw throat. “I know you want to help, Ikari, but firstly, you just tried to kill me, and secondly, I need to be able to move on my own.” she explained, her voice barely a whisper by the time she finished. Shinji let out a long, slow breath, nodding his head. He understood her point of view, but he at least wanted to do something for her. He looked around and spotted the same store he had broken into when he arrived. He thought about reaching out to pat her shoulder, but held back.

          “I’ll be right back. Just stay here until I get back.” he said, in what he hoped was a reassuring tone, but Asuka just gave him a critical look in response before softening slightly.

          “My muscles feel like fucking jello, Third. I don’t think I’m going anywhere.” she responded in a dry rasp. Shinji exhaled through his nose and nodded.

          “All right, then. Be back as quick as I can.” he said, turning to leave and jogging off. A few minutes later, Shinji rounded the corner and entered the store through the delivery door, using the keys he still carried with him, just in case. The lock turned easily, and he stepped inside, once more stopping the door with the same cinder block. The store’s emergency cabinet was mounted next to the door, so he was able to easily find the flashlight. He quickly grabbed a box of granola bars out of a larger box along with a six pack of water bottles and headed back towards the beach. Once he arrived, he saw that Asuka had managed to rise to her feet. “Asuka, I got some stuff!” he called out, only to receive no response. “Asuka!” he shouted again, before finally noticing that her body had gone rigid and was staring out to the sea. Cautiously, he looked over her shoulder, past her, towards the maliciously grinning head of Lilith. Dropping the supplies, he raced towards the red-headed German and leapt in front of her, waving his arms and shouting to distract her. Then it occurred to him, pain. Pain seemed to interfere with Lilith’s abilities. Making up his mind to apologize later, Shinji reached out and gripped her side and pinched as hard as he could, twisting her flesh between his fingers. Asuka yelped in pain and lashed out with her left hand, striking Shinji hard in the cheek and sending him tumbling onto the sand.

          “What the fuck, Third?!” she shouted again, trying to kick him as he rolled away on the beach.

          “Well, I’m glad that worked...” he grumbled as he rose to his feet, reaching up to touch his already swelling cheek and wincing in pain. He turned his head and spat out a crimson blotch. “You looked, didn’t you?” he stated in a tired voice. Asuka’s pointed glare spoke volumes as Shinji just nodded his head in response. “Sorry I didn’t warn you before I left. I didn’t think you’d have the energy to stand up yet.” he said, before rising to his feet and walking back over to where he had dropped the supplies. He picked up the six-pack and box of granola bars and returned to where Asuka stood before tearing one of the bottles from the pack and handing it to her. She snatched the bottle from him and twisted the cap off, drinking greedily. The water was a sweet mercy to her vividly parched throat, still sore from Shinji’s aborted strangulation. She coughed and Shinji reached over to pat her on the back, which Asuka responded to by swatting his hand away and waving him off.

          “I-” she began, before being cut off another barrage of small coughs. “I’m alright. Just give me a minute.” she finished, trailing off and looking over at Shinji. “What the hell was that, Ikari?” she asked, gesturing over her shoulder at Lilith’s bifurcated head. Her fellow pilot could only shrug as he stood next to Asuka, also facing away from the remains of the second Angel.

          “I think its name was Lilith, the second Angel. It was here when I got here, and when I looked at it, it did the same thing to me. I heard its voice, calling me back towards the sea, so I could join everyone again. I damn near bit my tongue in half trying to shut her out.” he finished, a grimace once more crossing his face. Asuka stood there silent, trying to gauge Shinji’s reaction. “Oh, right...” he began again, opening the top of the box of granola bars and offering her one. “Did you want a granola bar?” he asked, sounding almost cheerful. Asuka looked at him, a deep unsettling feeling taking root in the pit of her stomach.

          “Uh, sure...” she responded, gingerly reaching out to take a bar from the box. She unwrapped the bar and chewed slowly, alternating with sips from the water bottle. She gave an approving hum as she ate. Chocolate chip, her favorite flavor. She gazed along the beach, careful to keep her eyes away from the massive head on her right. Her mouth stopped moving and her heart caught in her chest as she finally saw the crucified forms of the Mass Production Eva Series. Her body froze, and goosebumps rose on her skin as her lips curled into a snarl before she let out a terrible scream of rage. Any feeling of exhaustion was immediately vaporized as she found the strength to propel herself towards the red tide. Shinji was lost in his own thoughts until he heard Asuka scream and watched her as she began to run. He surprised even himself with his speed as he managed to catch Asuka around the waist and bring them both down onto the wet sand. They wrestled there in the surf, with Asuka screaming as she struggled to break free of his hold. Her elbow smashed into Shinji’s chin, sending his head reeling backwards and allowing her to use the opportunity to drive her knee up into Shinji’s stomach, taking the wind out of him. He dropped to his knees in the surf, bloody waves cresting up to the middle of his chest. Taking the last reserves of his strength, he shouted as loud as he could, hoping that Asuka would hear him.

          “ASUKA, THEY’RE DEAD!!!” he screamed, before coughing convulsively, his arms wrapped around his midsection as his diaphragm begged for salvation. He rose to his feet slowly, on shaky legs as he looked to where Asuka stood in shoulder-high LCL. Gradually, she turned to face him as she watched him do the same thing he had the first night he arrived. Shinji picked up a heavy, fist-sized chunk of concrete and hurled it at the closest MP Eva, hitting it in the chest. Once again, there was no reaction from the beast.

          Standing alone in the sea of Instrumentality, Asuka bit her lip and lowered her head as tears poured from her undamaged eye. She sobbed loudly, not caring whether or not Shinji heard her. Her body ached, especially her thickly wrapped right arm. Asuka stood there silently, staring at the ruined bodies of the Eva series for a long while before turning around and swimming back to shore. She let her body drop onto the wet sand, looking down at the sand once more, with her legs held tightly against her chest as Shinji came and sat next to her. He sat with her in silence, only the sound of the waves keeping them company as Asuka rose her head to look out at the ocean once more. After a moment, she spoke once more.

          “Let’s get the hell out of here, Third.” she demanded quietly, trying to rise to her feet, her legs wobbling before she unceremoniously dropped back to the ground. Shinji simply looked at her as she struggled to get up. After a few minutes she looked up at the former pilot of Unit-01, grudgingly deciding to ask for his help. “You plan on helping me, or just watching me humiliate myself?” she asked, more frustrated with herself than him. Her voice spurred him into action, though, as he crouched down and slung Asuka’s left arm over his shoulder, and his right arm moved around her waist. Once he returned to his normal height, he looked over at Asuka.

          “You ready?” he asked, to which Asuka simply nodded her head.

          “Yeah, yeah. Just go slow...” she replied quietly. Shinji nodded this time, supporting Asuka as they made their way from the beach. Out of the corner of Asuka’s eye, she caught a glimpse of something glowing. “Huh...” Asuka stated, causing Shinji to look in the same direction as Asuka’s gaze. “That convenience store’s on fire...” she informed him blankly. Shinji’s expression turned wooden as he stared at the flames for a few minutes.

          “Yeah... I noticed that on the way down here.” he replied quietly, leading her past the grave markers he had set up over a month ago. She gave his shoulder a squeeze, looking past him at the row of crosses.

          “Wait, wait. Stop.” she ordered, disengaging herself from Shinji and taking tentative steps towards the markers. Her auburn hair fluttered in the breeze as she moved from cross to cross, muttering the engraved names. “Hikari, Toji, Kensuke...” she read off the names, turning silent as she came to Misato’s, reaching out to touch the silver cross Shinji had nailed to the stake with their purple-haired commander’s name on it. Tears welled up in Asuka’s eyes for a moment before she wiped them away with the back of her hand. A torrent of emotions welled up in Asuka as she remembered her time in Instrumentality. Like Shinji, she too had seen Misato in bed with Kaji. She knew it was childish to lust after Kaji. She knew that, just like she knew that Misato and Kaji were all but certainly going to become a couple again. She would never admit it to herself, but she knew. However, watching them in the throes of passion still felt like a knife in her heart. It was still too raw for her to tell Shinji about it, so she simply stood there stoically for a few minutes, staring at the cross before walking away. Finally, Asuka walked over to her own grave marker. “Shinji...” she called, a quiet, unsettling edge to her voice.

          “Y-yeah?” he asked, stepping forward slowly, taking note of the calm, dangerous tone she was using. She remained motionless as she stood in front of the marker that quietly proclaimed her possible death or refusal to return from the red ocean that stretched out behind her.

          “When did you put these up?” she asked, her voice still in that same eerie calm. A calm, Shinji judged, just before the storm. Swallowing audibly, Shinji responded.

          “About three weeks after I got here.” he replied, looking down and away, towards the burning convenience store.

          “And because no one had come back yet, you decided to make graves?” she queried, a newly dim pit of anger warming in her chest. “Did you think we weren’t coming back at all?” she further pressed. Shinji rose his hands in his defense, even though Asuka hadn’t turned to face him and was still standing in front of her own cross.

          “No!” he exclaimed, before amending. “...and yes.” stepping backwards. “Just before I left the sea, Rei told me that anyone who was strong enough to imagine themselves as individuals could return, but she didn’t tell me how long it might take. I had already been here three weeks, alone. Hallucinations were beginning to set in, and I wasn’t sure how much more my mind could take.” he began to explain, as Asuka finally turned around to face him. “I...wasn’t sure if I was going to be around for much longer. On the off chance I...decided to end things before anyone returned, I wanted to leave something behind to at least show that I remembered you, that I missed you, and...I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to wait for you.” The pit of anger in Asuka’s vanished, leaving behind a hollow, cold feeling that twisted her insides into knots.

          “If you put these up on your third week here, how long have you been here?” she asked, not quite sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

          “Eight weeks...” Shinji answered simply. Asuka’s heart squeezed in her chest as Shinji elaborated. “I’m sorry for trying to strangle you earlier. I honestly thought you were another hallucination. I thought if I killed you, the hallucinations might stop.” he finished sheepishly. Asuka was silent at that, the only sounds between them were the surf and the breeze.

          “And the...uh, store on fire?” she asked nervously. Shinji looked to his right, noting that the fire was starting to diminish as it ran out of fuel.

          “Oh, yeah. That was me, wasn’t it?” he remarked nonchalantly. “I honestly can’t remember for the life of me why I did it, though.” he commented quietly. “Is this what it feels like to lose your mind?” he asked, turning towards Asuka, tears running down his cheeks. Feeling the wetness on his face, Shinji reached up to touch one of his cheeks.“What?” he asked, confused, pausing briefly before continuing. “...Why am I crying?” he wondered, as he sank to his knees and wept, covering his face with his gritty, sand-caked hands.

          Asuka stood over him, biting her lower lip as she closed her eyes and looked away. She couldn’t be angry with him for what he’d done since returning. Not now. She had attended some psychology classes during her university studies, and understood the effects of isolation on a person. All she could do was pity Shinji, alone for eight weeks without any human contact beyond his own hallucinations. She realized now that his mind was a wreck, and needed more counseling than she could provide for him. But she also realized that the two of them needed to survive, and that he was going to have to put his issues aside if they were going to make it until some form of authority resurfaced.

          “Come on, Baka Third.” she urged, bending over to grip one of his arms by the elbow and lift him off the ground. He limply rose to his feet, wiping his eyes and face after brushing his hands off on his pant legs. “We need to find a place to stay tonight.” she informed him, as the store Shinji had set on fire finally caved in entirely, collapsing to the ground with a loud crash. Neither one of them bothered to look.

          “There’s-” Shinji broke off with a slight hiccup as the last of the sniffles left him. “a shelter nearby. That’s where I’ve been living.” he finished, returning to his position as Asuka’s support. With that, the two of them made off down the street towards Shinji’s new habitat. The normally fifteen minute walk took twenty-five this time, as Shinji had to moderate his pace to match the still-recovering Asuka. Once there, Shinji pressed the button for the freight elevator which dinged and opened for them less than a minute later. He helped Asuka inside, where she leaned against the wall as her fellow pilot thumbed the button to take them to the living quarters. The doors parted with a soft whoosh, and Asuka once again leaned on the younger Ikari for assistance. He first led her to the main warehouse, where she picked out a set of blue coveralls in her size, along with a set of plain white undergarments and some boots. While she was doing that, he went to the opposite side of the warehouse and gathered for her a bottle of their stock shampoo/body wash and a tube of toothpaste with a toothbrush. He also managed to find her some towels. After their shopping spree, Shinji took her to the women’s showers. “Just let me know if you need anything. I’ll just be outside.” he offered gamely, though his face still looked somewhat ashen from earlier.

          “Thanks, Third. But I’m sure I’ll be fine.” she replied, quietly, closing the door to the female locker room with her right hand, her supplies in her left. As imperceptibly as she could, she locked the door behind her. Put simply, she couldn’t quite trust Shinji until he got a better handle on his own mental state. Exhaling softly she walked over to a long mirror attached to the wall above a row of sinks. “Well...time to check the damage.” she thought to herself as she first reached up to the patch over her left eye. She winced as she gingerly peeled the bandage off her eye. She kept the eye closed once the bandage was off, opening her eye gradually. The pain was exquisite as she willed herself to keep opening her eye, the orb watering as it forced itself to adjust to the light. As her vision focused, she saw red streaks covering her sight. It took her a brief second to realize that it was her own hair. She reached up and brushed the interfering strands back behind her ear. To her surprise, there weren’t any severe scars or damage. Just a thin, pinkish circle that was hardly noticeable. Taking this as a good sign, Asuka unwrapped the bandage around her right arm before decompressing her plugsuit and pulling the filthy garment from her body. Just like with her eye, there was a thin line trailing along the top and bottom of her arm, all the way from palm to shoulder. There were also staccato bursts of jagged lines along her stomach. She reached downwards and ran her fingers over the marks on her stomach. Just flat skin. The marks were only discolorations, not rough scars. She let out a long sigh of relief before walking over to the shower and turning on the water. She would have been satisfied with a cold shower, but found herself pleasantly encouraged by the fact that Shinji had been able to somehow procure hot water. Shinji. Fuck. Now there was a conundrum. Through Instrumentality, she had seen Shinji’s actions, in the hospital room, the way he had hidden in the halls, waiting to take a bullet, and how Shinji had reacted once his Eva had finally gotten to the surface. She’d be damned if he didn’t answer some of her questions about the lead-up to Third Impact, but he needed to be sane first. Until then, she wasn’t sure she could trust him. Who knows? Maybe just having someone around to talk to could take care of some of the issues. She was fairly certain he’d need therapy for some of his deeper problems. Then again, she realized, so might she. She growled at the thought, then shook it away, deciding instead to focus on the simple joy of a hot shower. After a while, she turned off the water, her nose wrinkling at the smell of the astringent shampoo and soap she had to use. Asuka dressed quickly and unlocked the door, stepping back out into the hallway with her plugsuit hung over her left arm. True to his word, Shinji was sitting cross-legged next to the entrance.

          “Hey.” he said, briefly, looking up at her with a faint smile.

          “Hey.” she replied, though looking at him with a more blank expression as Shinji got back to his feet with a grunt, only to slip back down slightly. “Ah, damn it...” he groaned as Asuka flicked her eyebrows upwards at him.

          “You all right, Ikari?” she questioned, as the son of Gendo Ikari wobbled on his feet.

          “Yeah, yeah. Just...fucking pins and needles...” Asuka snorted while she watched him start to hop around on one leg.

          “Are you telling me your leg fell asleep while you were waiting?” she asked, trying to suppress her laughter at Shinji’s jerky movements. His face turned red as he tried to stretch out his afflicted leg.

          “Bite me.” he snapped back as he rubbed his leg to regain circulation.

          “The feared Angel killer, Shinji Ikari defeated by sitting on his own ass.” she retorted, no longer able to hold back her snickers. Shinji just grumbled as his leg finally returned to normal. “Come on, o’ vanquishing hero. Show me where the beds are.” she urged, stifling a yawn.

          Sighing, he led her towards the same hallway he stayed in, opening the door to the room next to his. Just like his, the room was outfitted with a bunk bed, cheap desk/drawers combination, and a two-person wardrobe. The hard halogen lighting giving the room a spare utilitarian feeling. “I’m in the room next door if you need me.” he said, giving her one more smile before leaving. She gave him a light smile as he left, closing the door behind him. Once the door was shut, the smile faded as she waited to hear the door to his room close. As soon as she heard it, she thumbed the deadbolt fast into the door jamb. She walked over to the wardrobe and hung her plugsuit inside before moving to the bottom bunk and removing her boots and coveralls. She then slipped under the covers and drifted off into a fitful sleep.