Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Murderers Aren't Allowed In Heaven ❯ Murderers Aren't Allowed In Heaven ( Prologue )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kitty Meian 
An Evangalieon One Shot. Prepare your tissues! This one's a tear jearker!
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 09.01.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 1.0K | Status: Completed
An Evangalieon One Shot. Prepare your tissues! This one's a tear jearker!
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 09.01.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 1.0K | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING!!! HAPPY!?!?!?! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Warning: Songfic, Deathfic, angst, sadsadsadsadsadsad....
Song: The song is 'Angel' by Sarah Mclachlan. It's perfect for Kaworu/Shinji fics...Mclachlan
*Song Lyrics*
Murderers Aren't Allowed In Heaven
I see him crying sometimes, and it hurts. It hurts to see him like that. His beautiful eyes turn red and his smile, becomes a frown. I've seen him hold a gun to his head, then quiver and throw it away.
I wonder why he doesn't shoot himself?
I don't want him to, really I don't, but a part of me wants revenge for what he has done. I gave him comfort, love and trust and he killed me....
I hear him ask for forgiveness....but I won't give it to him.
He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve anything but pain and eternal suffering.....
What's wrong with me?!?!?!
Is it possible that I've gone insane? I loved him.....I. Love. Him.
But I just can't forgive him, no matter what my heart says. I can't forgive what he did to me, and to both of us.
All I can do is pray that his soul is pardoned for its sins...but then I snap back to reality and realize...murderers aren't allowed in heaven.
*Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day*
Have you ever felt like there was one person on earth who was your perfect match?
I didn't.....at least not until I met Shinji.
We had similar pains that were breaking our hearts, so the time we spent together was magical. He would come home and collapse on the bed, tired from the day. But I'd always be there for him.
I remember how he used to call me angel and how the way his hair always stayed in step with him. I remember the way he never let me see him cry. How he always tried to be strong for me.
It hurts....these memories hurt. I trusted him, and it hurts. He cries every night, and all I can do is watch him. Hope he isn't going to do something stupid.
Right now, he's cringing inside, telling himself he didn't mean to kill me. Saying to himself 'I didn't want to hurt you'.
But the truth is Shinji....you did.
*I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight*
Every night I see you fall, face first, into the pillows on the bed. Then you cry and bring a gun to your head. I'm always watching you, forbidden to interfere. I wish I could end your pain. I wish I could come down, hold you close to me and tell you I forgive you. I've always wanted to hold you, ever since I first met you. You've always been like that.
Damn you Shinji. Why did you have to be so wonderful? Why do you have to make me cry too?
I'm angry with you kio. I hate you....don't I?
You sit up, hugging your knees, and I feel tears fall from my own eyes as you try and pull the trigger again, but fail. Then you collapse back into the pillows, only to sit up and try again.
"Angel....angel I'm coming." you say, tightening the trigger, only to loosen seconds after. "Angel...forgive me..."
No. I won't let it end this way. Screw the rules! I won't let you die like this Shinji.
*In the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of an angel
may you find some comfort here*
You can't see me, but I'm here, holding you close. I can feel you relax and calm as I run my fingers through your hair. You still can't see me.
"Don't cry kio...." I mutter. You can't hear me, but you react to my voice by letting the gun go. Even though I'm angry, I think I've fallen even more in love with you. If that's possible. You're just so lovable. You're just so comfortable. You're just so you kio, and that's what I miss the most.
I feel terrible about all the things I've said, when I see you like this. Your silvery tears are warm on my body.
Stop crying kio.
"Kaworu...." you whisper. "I'm so sorry...please forgive me angel..." Is it possible you know I'm here? Maybe it's coincidence....or maybe you were so close to the brink of death, you just thought....no...you know I'm here.
I hold you tighter, feeling you melt in my arms.
God I love you.
The smell of your hair thrills me, the touch of your skin enchants me. All my anger disappears.
"Shinji...I forgive-" I stop suddenly. No, I can't forgive you.
You shiver as I leave you alone and return to my watching point in the corner. I'm sorry kio, I can't forgive you.
"Kaworu? Angel? Please....don't leave me again....I don't want to be alone..." he starts to cry again, lifting up the gun. "Angel? Angel where are you? Please....forgive me...I can't take it anymore...." I feel my tears fall harder than before.
*So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
the storm keeps on twisting
keep on building the lies
that make up for all that you lack*
The cold air blows in on a gust of wind, making your tears freeze. You hold yourself, trying to replace the warmth I had given you.
"Angel....I didn't want to..." he whispers. I frown. A lie.
"Please forgive me....I didn't mean to." he cries. Lie two.
"Kaworu...I'll see you soon...." he mutters. Lie three. Your out Shinji. You should know better than to lie to me. I know you too well. You don't have the guts, nor the strength to pull that trigger. I know that from all the nights I've watched you. You can't, or wouldn't, do that to yourself.
"Please angel...Kaworu....I miss you...I need you.." I know Shinji. I know you miss me, but I can't come back.
I can't forgive you.
He breaks out into more tears, tightening his finger on the trigger. I walk closer to you.
Everything I thought I knew about you disapears as you pull the trigger. The gun shot rings out.
No kio! Don't please....oh no....there's too much blood...there's too much....kio? Kio can you hear me?
No....
*Don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe
in this sweet madness
or this glorious sadness
that brings me to my knees*
As the blood from your wound starts to flow faster, so does my heartbeat. In my arms, I hold my dying lover.
He did it. He pulled the trigger. Maybe it was my own ignorance that blinded me...
He loved me that much...
I see him reach up toward the dresser table, knocking a picture down. He takes it, hugging it closely.
It's a picture of us.
"An....gel...." he says. I reach out and take him back in my arms.
"Kio.....I'm right here..." he smiles.
"I....se...e...you..." he says, and I realize how close to the end he is. Only now can he see me. His white top is stained with blood. How has he stayed alive so long?
He starts to relax, which means he's weakening. "I'm....sor...ry....angel...." he mutters, his voice a whisper. I feel the stinging sensation of tears again.
"No you're not..." I tell him, holding him closer.
His breath starts to stagger and his eyes start to close. What will be his final tears, seep through the slits.
"An...gel...." he says, over and over. It's like he's trying to remember the words he wants to say. A familiar sent rushes through my nose. The smell of death. "An...gel...we...ca....an...be toge...ther....ag..ain...." I feel more tears sting my cheeks as I tighten my grip on him. It hurts. It hurts like hell to see him leave the world this way...
No matter what he did, he doesn't deserve...this. It's okay kio....I'm here...I'm right here.
I breathe in deeply, sigh, and open my mouth...
"Yes kio. We can see each other again. I forgive you." The words come out surprisingly easy, and, as his eyes close, my heart breaks. "I'll sing you a song..." I say. He smiles weakly. "*In the arms of the angel, fly away from here. From this dark, cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear....*" his smile starts to fade away, leaving a look of pain. "*You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...*" His eyes close and my Shinji, my beloved, fades away. "*You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here....*" I stroke his cheek, feeling the last of it's warmth. "It's okay Shinji...you'll be okay." I lay his body down, standing quickly. Now I can never see him. I cry. I shouldn't of lied.
We won't be together...ever again. He's not welcome where I am.
He's a murderer....and murderers aren't allowed in heaven....
*In the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here*
Warning: Songfic, Deathfic, angst, sadsadsadsadsadsad....
Song: The song is 'Angel' by Sarah Mclachlan. It's perfect for Kaworu/Shinji fics...Mclachlan
*Song Lyrics*
Murderers Aren't Allowed In Heaven
I see him crying sometimes, and it hurts. It hurts to see him like that. His beautiful eyes turn red and his smile, becomes a frown. I've seen him hold a gun to his head, then quiver and throw it away.
I wonder why he doesn't shoot himself?
I don't want him to, really I don't, but a part of me wants revenge for what he has done. I gave him comfort, love and trust and he killed me....
I hear him ask for forgiveness....but I won't give it to him.
He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve anything but pain and eternal suffering.....
What's wrong with me?!?!?!
Is it possible that I've gone insane? I loved him.....I. Love. Him.
But I just can't forgive him, no matter what my heart says. I can't forgive what he did to me, and to both of us.
All I can do is pray that his soul is pardoned for its sins...but then I snap back to reality and realize...murderers aren't allowed in heaven.
*Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day*
Have you ever felt like there was one person on earth who was your perfect match?
I didn't.....at least not until I met Shinji.
We had similar pains that were breaking our hearts, so the time we spent together was magical. He would come home and collapse on the bed, tired from the day. But I'd always be there for him.
I remember how he used to call me angel and how the way his hair always stayed in step with him. I remember the way he never let me see him cry. How he always tried to be strong for me.
It hurts....these memories hurt. I trusted him, and it hurts. He cries every night, and all I can do is watch him. Hope he isn't going to do something stupid.
Right now, he's cringing inside, telling himself he didn't mean to kill me. Saying to himself 'I didn't want to hurt you'.
But the truth is Shinji....you did.
*I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight*
Every night I see you fall, face first, into the pillows on the bed. Then you cry and bring a gun to your head. I'm always watching you, forbidden to interfere. I wish I could end your pain. I wish I could come down, hold you close to me and tell you I forgive you. I've always wanted to hold you, ever since I first met you. You've always been like that.
Damn you Shinji. Why did you have to be so wonderful? Why do you have to make me cry too?
I'm angry with you kio. I hate you....don't I?
You sit up, hugging your knees, and I feel tears fall from my own eyes as you try and pull the trigger again, but fail. Then you collapse back into the pillows, only to sit up and try again.
"Angel....angel I'm coming." you say, tightening the trigger, only to loosen seconds after. "Angel...forgive me..."
No. I won't let it end this way. Screw the rules! I won't let you die like this Shinji.
*In the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of an angel
may you find some comfort here*
You can't see me, but I'm here, holding you close. I can feel you relax and calm as I run my fingers through your hair. You still can't see me.
"Don't cry kio...." I mutter. You can't hear me, but you react to my voice by letting the gun go. Even though I'm angry, I think I've fallen even more in love with you. If that's possible. You're just so lovable. You're just so comfortable. You're just so you kio, and that's what I miss the most.
I feel terrible about all the things I've said, when I see you like this. Your silvery tears are warm on my body.
Stop crying kio.
"Kaworu...." you whisper. "I'm so sorry...please forgive me angel..." Is it possible you know I'm here? Maybe it's coincidence....or maybe you were so close to the brink of death, you just thought....no...you know I'm here.
I hold you tighter, feeling you melt in my arms.
God I love you.
The smell of your hair thrills me, the touch of your skin enchants me. All my anger disappears.
"Shinji...I forgive-" I stop suddenly. No, I can't forgive you.
You shiver as I leave you alone and return to my watching point in the corner. I'm sorry kio, I can't forgive you.
"Kaworu? Angel? Please....don't leave me again....I don't want to be alone..." he starts to cry again, lifting up the gun. "Angel? Angel where are you? Please....forgive me...I can't take it anymore...." I feel my tears fall harder than before.
*So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
the storm keeps on twisting
keep on building the lies
that make up for all that you lack*
The cold air blows in on a gust of wind, making your tears freeze. You hold yourself, trying to replace the warmth I had given you.
"Angel....I didn't want to..." he whispers. I frown. A lie.
"Please forgive me....I didn't mean to." he cries. Lie two.
"Kaworu...I'll see you soon...." he mutters. Lie three. Your out Shinji. You should know better than to lie to me. I know you too well. You don't have the guts, nor the strength to pull that trigger. I know that from all the nights I've watched you. You can't, or wouldn't, do that to yourself.
"Please angel...Kaworu....I miss you...I need you.." I know Shinji. I know you miss me, but I can't come back.
I can't forgive you.
He breaks out into more tears, tightening his finger on the trigger. I walk closer to you.
Everything I thought I knew about you disapears as you pull the trigger. The gun shot rings out.
No kio! Don't please....oh no....there's too much blood...there's too much....kio? Kio can you hear me?
No....
*Don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe
in this sweet madness
or this glorious sadness
that brings me to my knees*
As the blood from your wound starts to flow faster, so does my heartbeat. In my arms, I hold my dying lover.
He did it. He pulled the trigger. Maybe it was my own ignorance that blinded me...
He loved me that much...
I see him reach up toward the dresser table, knocking a picture down. He takes it, hugging it closely.
It's a picture of us.
"An....gel...." he says. I reach out and take him back in my arms.
"Kio.....I'm right here..." he smiles.
"I....se...e...you..." he says, and I realize how close to the end he is. Only now can he see me. His white top is stained with blood. How has he stayed alive so long?
He starts to relax, which means he's weakening. "I'm....sor...ry....angel...." he mutters, his voice a whisper. I feel the stinging sensation of tears again.
"No you're not..." I tell him, holding him closer.
His breath starts to stagger and his eyes start to close. What will be his final tears, seep through the slits.
"An...gel...." he says, over and over. It's like he's trying to remember the words he wants to say. A familiar sent rushes through my nose. The smell of death. "An...gel...we...ca....an...be toge...ther....ag..ain...." I feel more tears sting my cheeks as I tighten my grip on him. It hurts. It hurts like hell to see him leave the world this way...
No matter what he did, he doesn't deserve...this. It's okay kio....I'm here...I'm right here.
I breathe in deeply, sigh, and open my mouth...
"Yes kio. We can see each other again. I forgive you." The words come out surprisingly easy, and, as his eyes close, my heart breaks. "I'll sing you a song..." I say. He smiles weakly. "*In the arms of the angel, fly away from here. From this dark, cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear....*" his smile starts to fade away, leaving a look of pain. "*You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie...*" His eyes close and my Shinji, my beloved, fades away. "*You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here....*" I stroke his cheek, feeling the last of it's warmth. "It's okay Shinji...you'll be okay." I lay his body down, standing quickly. Now I can never see him. I cry. I shouldn't of lied.
We won't be together...ever again. He's not welcome where I am.
He's a murderer....and murderers aren't allowed in heaven....
*In the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here*